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MidoriEgg Archive

View 2 posts and 1,564 comments by MidoriEgg on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I got a ‘periodic table of sinister emojis’ to look out for in an email from work, that helped me and my colleagues laugh.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 07:21 AM
1

‘ But it's so simple to understand and it's so general that it should be the easiest to talk about.’ Men’s mental health/suicide rates is very much in the public consciousness. But dating issues less so. I think people who spend a lot of time in these sorts of circles overestimate just how widely known the ‘men struggling with dating issue’ is. Most men I know, irl who’re 30+ are in relationships. Most normal people I know who’re 30+ would have no idea what an incel is (at least not until they w…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 12:17 PM
–

I missed the post lol
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 07:34 AM
1

I feel like the ven diagram of men who post about women lacking empathy for their dating issues and men who go to lgbt marches has very little overlap. Certainly when I’ve challenged anyone here on this they’ve never whipped out that they’re an activist, they just talk about other men’s activism. It’s fine to want empathy for something you’re struggling with, but if you demonise others for not being empathetic enough to your specific social issue, I think it’s fine to point out that that person …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 07:33 AM
1

I’m looking at people as individuals, not as if they’re a hive mind. A lot of the men who post really angry that women don’t empathise enough with their dating issues also don’t empathise, care about, or support any social issue that doesn’t directly impact them. I just find it hypocritical how a lot of these men find it so enraging that women don’t know/care enough about their dating issues, but they wouldn’t apply that logic to any other social issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 07:27 AM
1

‘Lemme guess, it's only bad when men are self-interested, right?‘ Okay but you do understand that men who complain about women not being empathetic to their specific social issues, but are also self-interested to the point they show no/minimal interest or empathy in any other social issues, are being hypocritical, right? After all, they’re doing the same thing (ie, showing no empathy for issues outside their experience). Or do you think men struggling to date is the only social issue we should a…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 03:41 AM
0

On here, or other similar places in the past, when Ive asked. Do you think I’m wrong?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 03:33 AM
0

I always find it ironic that when you dig a bit, a lot of the men who’s major gripe is ‘women’s lack of empathy’ have no real empathy interest or support for any social issue that doesn’t directly impact them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 07:31 PM
3

I think the red pill thing can be good for men who are super naive, who may of otherwise fell for a woman who was clearly trying to use them because they showed attention. But 99% of red pill stuff is just rage bait, designed to boost engagement. So men who watch it regularly just end up really bitter with a warped/ reductive sense of reality. Most people are a little wilder in their youth then settle when they’re older- men and women. Most people don’t fit in the caricature of the ‘Chad’ or the…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 01:10 PM
2

‘ You’re treating having a stable high paying job as if it appears out of thin air, disconnected from personality traits, when in reality, it’s almost always the result of long-term behavioral patterns rooted in high social inhibition.’ I’m unfortunately gonna have to disagree with you on that one. Having slightly lower social inhibition actually helps in terms of climbing the management ladder. People with relatively high social inhibition might be in a stable job, but unless they have a really…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 07:46 AM
3

I feel like you’re still conflating charm/charisma with being an asshole, and then quietness/social anxiety with reliability. There’s some truth to what you’re saying but it does feel like a lot of the basis relies on stereotypes. Yes, when people are younger they are more easily dazzled by charm/charisma and might not always be discerning enough to see if that person is also an asshole, and when we’re older, traits like reliability, dependability may be more desirable. But again, these traits a…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 08:20 PM
3

‘it’s about recognizing that shy/quiet people tend to be high in social inhibition and fear of judgment. That fear can make them less likely to do socially reckless stuff’ Sure, but people who have high dark triad traits and social anxiety can still be just as selfish/cruel, just in different ways that are less likely to invite obvious social backlash- ie, anonymous online bullying, targeting those closest to them who they have less anxiety with (usually parents for whatever reason), doing under…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 05:10 PM
8

‘openly cruel.’ I think that’s the key word here. Open. Shyness/social anxiety might inhibit you from doing things likely to get a negative social reaction, but cruel people can be extraverts or introverts. Perhaps instead of leaking the nudes in a group chat of mutual friends, they may be leaked online in a less traceable way. Perhaps they seem polite/nice to the general public but are an absolute menace to those closest to them they aren’t afraid of social backlash from (their parents, sibling…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 05:04 PM
4

Yeah I would agree that asshole behaviour is more forgiven if the person is physically attractive or charismatic and charming. Because it isn’t the asshole behaviour that’s attractive- it’s the charm, confidence or physical beauty. Humans are weak to beauty and charm. (Also, on the point of boundary pushing, I find a lot of people on here seem to have an almost puritanical view of what constitutes boundary pushing in terms of asking someone out, but that’s a whole other can of worms- )
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 04:21 PM
6

There does seem to be a tendency in these sorts of circles of pathologising/demonising extroverted behaviour and venerating introverted behaviour. There seems to be a bias of viewing extraverted behaviour through a negative lens (ie, he’s assertive and asks women out- he must not care about boundaries) and introverted behaviour through a positive lens, a a general conflation of social anxiety with moral purity. This leads to the perception that assholes (selfish and cruel people) are more popula…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 02:42 PM
20

This argument seems kind of misleading, even by your own admission, the traits women are attracted to aren’t inherently ‘asshole’ traits (being bold and assertive, confident, goal orientated etc). There could be an argument that ‘traits women like (extraversion, confidence) overlap with those men also being assholes but personally I’m not 100% sold on that. They tend to fly under the radar a bit more and arent as noticible to the public, but there are just as many introverts/those with social an…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 07:09 AM
2

It feels like you’re coming at this issue as if there are two teams ‘men’ and ‘women’ and both are hive minds, and the fact some women are vulnerable to abusers means that all women are guilty by association, and therefore, men have no moral obligation to do anything or even condemn other men in their lives if they know they are abusive. ‘ the question should be why are men expected to do a job for women that the women themselves don't want done?’ Who do you think works most in domestic violence…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 09:28 AM
6

‘ heck i remember being shocked when a guy in 11th grade talked sensuelly about a women.’ I think it’s good you are respectful, but maybe this suggests that perhaps you aren’t representative of the average boy/man. Because in my experience, most men will do some form of locker-room talk with other men. Some are a bit more subtle about it as we got older (some have gotten even worse lol), but it’s not something that even I am shocked by. ‘ Most of us dont have a single abusive friend.’ That you k…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 07:43 AM
1

My comment starts with ‘advice you get on the internet.. ‘ so no
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 09:55 PM
2

Maybe there could be some prejudices with some commenters. but I don’t think the contradictory advice is a purposeful tactic to keep ‘nice guys on a perpetual loop’ as some people say (this post isn’t explicitly saying that). Also a lot of commenters will just be saying what worked for them without thinking too deeply about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 01:30 PM
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There’s pros and cons to settling down at any age. A lot of it just comes down to when the right person comes along who you want to build a life with. That could be 22 or 32. Having a serious relationship in your early 20’s doesn’t mean you both have to have kids, buy a house and get married right away you can just enjoy being together and do that stuff when you’re ready. A con of waiting until you’re older to settle down is, if you know for definite having kids is something absolutely want to d…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 01:00 PM
1

That sucks, do you think theres any specific reason?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 12:47 PM
7

That’s true, I think I’m used to seeing these types of posts but with the addition of ‘and it’s all part of their evil game to keep us down’ so I kind of sublimated that in.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 09:57 AM
32

Advice you get on the internet is from a bunch of strangers, who all often have slightly different views on what works based on their own experiences, so of course it’s going to be vague and contradictory. Internet advice is good for specific things, like how to clear a level on a game or in depth reviews of different brands of same appliance or something. It isn’t great for relationship advice for people who are seriously struggling. But i really don’t agree with the assertion that it comes fro…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 08:55 AM
2

I can’t find any definitions of nagging that include ‘almost never a problem and unrealistic timeframe’. Nagging is a dismissive way to describe someone repeatedly making complaints or requesting something be done.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 06:49 AM
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Idk how the example could be anything but a flirty touch, then backtracking to save face when you didn’t give the response she wanted. There’s a grey area for ‘flirty touch’ but if you grab someone by the waist, pull them close and mime a kiss then ‘flirty’ seems understated.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 04:41 PM
6

These are the men who get ‘blindsided’ by a breakup or divorce
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 03:49 PM
8

Yeah I think regardless of any criticisms of nagging or trauma dumping, it’s 100% unfair to say that person isn’t trying to communicate their issues/you’re blindsided by their feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 02:35 PM
11

I mean either way, without even focusing on who’s to blame, that sounds like a pretty miserable relationship and neither party should be surprised if it ends.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 11:21 AM
9

‘ That is a good point, though I don’t see it as common today as it was in historical media. The nagging wife stereotype doesn’t feel as strong.’ Maybe that’s because divorce isn’t as stigmatised and women now just leave their husbands after they realise they aren’t being listened to, rather than being chained to a lifetime of nagging
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 11:16 AM
6

That’s true, there are definitely people with unrealistic expectations, but this post is about communication.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 11:13 AM
7

I’ve worked with a lot of people with this type of weaponised incompetence (ie, won’t do things unless explicitly asked but also super sensative and feel ‘attacked’ if you ask the wrong way). I’m pretty good at managing them now, but I’d rather eat rocks than date or live with someone like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 11:12 AM
82

When women communicate clearly and repteadtly about the things in the relationship that are bothering them, it’s called Nagging. Nagging is a pretty solid stereotype of ‘things women do’ so I’d say that’s a good indicator that a lot of women are verbalising their issues, it just gets dismissed as ‘nagging’ by a lot of men and not taken seriously, so they’re still blindsided when the relationship ends.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 07:53 AM
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I don’t think it has any major effect because schizophrenia rates have been fairly stagnant. There are exceptions, but most men I know with schizophrenia withdraw from social interactions to an extent and few have romantic relationships, but I don’t think the rates are high enough for it to have an observable impact
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 10:19 AM
3

‘Why should we validate their victim complex? ‘ Acknowledging someone is feeling an emotion is not ‘validating their victim complex’ It is just acknowledging a fact. Feeling an emotion does not automatically mean you are a victim, does not mean you are entitled to something, does not mean other people need to fix things for you. What you are suggesting however, will lead to people having more of a victim complex. Suggesting that loneliness should be ‘gate kept’ puts what should be just an emotio…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 08:35 PM
3

There’s men on here I feel a lot of sympathy for and others.. not so much. Either way it makes no sense to me to pretend they don’t have feelings/aren’t feeling lonely/aren’t suffering in some way. I can dislike or disagree with someone’s views but I don’t need to dehumanise them by convincing myself they are incapable of feeling lonely or experiencing other negative emotions.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 05:55 PM
3

‘ They can claim whatever, that doesn't make it true.’ I didn’t say claim. I said feel. You can feel things for illogical or selfish reasons, you still have the feelings. Have you never experienced being angry over something stupid? You are still objectively angry. You didn’t answer the question of why do we need to gate-keep ‘loneliness’? Do you think if someone meets your criteria of really lonely they are entitled to something/others are obligated to help? Loneliness is morally neutral. You a…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 05:42 PM
9

I feel personally responsible for this post lol. What does ‘gatekeeping against people who claim they are lonely’ even mean? How does one even gatekeep a feeling? Why would we need to do this? You can invalidate someone’s reasons for being lonely, you can point out if they’re being selfish or self-defeating or whatever else, but ultimately, if they feel lonely they feel lonely, regardless on if they are a good person or not. Lonliness isn’t a moral virtue or an exclusive club that needs gatekeep…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 05:23 PM
1

Emotions like loneliness and sadness are morally neutral, they aren’t reserved for people who are morally pure, or likeable/acceptable/fit your arbitrary standards. Suffering isn’t a moral virtue. Pretending that only those you deem worthy can experience loneliness isn’t just dehumanising, it’s completely inaccurate. That’s before getting into the fact that there are those who are lonely due to not having a romantic relationship who are generally good people and do try. Again, why so uncomfortab…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 03:03 PM
1

‘ If theyre picky about stuff, they dont want to get better. I’ve been around those types, theyre parasites, I have no sympathy, and they like their depression.’ All that can be true and they can still objectively be lonely. Being an asshole doesn’t preclude you from experiencing negative emotions. Loneliness isn’t something that you can only experience if you are morally pure enough. ‘ It’s a mockery of people who are actually lonely.’ It almost feels like you’re putting ‘actual loneliness’ on …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 01:01 PM
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I always feel like posts like this are disingenuous, because for the most part, people do agree that sex/connections are important for self-worth, mental health etc, they just don’t think anybody has a right to sex and they don’t think that anybody should be forced to have sex. Posts like these will never say ‘women should be forced to have sex with men’, but it does seem to imply it- ‘ Male weakness, such as loneliness and lack of intimacy, is dismissed, while female weakness is compensated for…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 07:19 AM
2

‘ Their feelings arent legitimate if theyre not doing anything about it.’ The thing about emotions is they happen regardless of if you have a reason deemed ‘legitimate’ by others. It is very dangerous territory to say ‘You can only be having this feeling if it’s for a reason I deem worthy’. Because everyone has different opinions on what is a ‘worthy’ reason, it becomes an easy way to dismiss anyone. Most depressed people could be doing a lot more to improve their mental state, but they’re still…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 06:02 PM
4

How old is she? How old are the men she is choosing to date? A 30 yr old who is dating a 24 yr olds, or a 50 yr old dating a man in his thirties is a lot different from a woman who specifically goes after barely legal teens.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 07:38 PM
3

How is that relevant to my point of ‘Different traits are considered attractive in men vs women so your looksmatch isn’t just a person of the opposite sex with the same physical traits?’
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 11:34 AM
9

I didn’t disagree with that, I just think that your thoughts on what actually constitutes a looks-match is short-sighted and doesn’t take into account reality. In (hopefully) simpler terms. If men and women where to rank 100 pictures of the opposite sex from most to least attractive, a short curvy girl with a pretty face would be higher on the men’s list than a short chubby man with a pretty face on the women’s list. The 6’1 muscular man with strong features would be much higher than a woman wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 08:32 AM
8

True, but if you were to try and even it, you would still have to take into account the difference preferences of men and women rather than arbitrarily saying ‘men and women with the same traits are in the same league’.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 08:26 AM
3

I agree there is general consensus about what is considered attractive, but when it comes to ‘looks match’ - ie specifically saying which two members of the opposite sex are exactly as equally attractive- it seems to be a lot harder to get people to agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 08:23 AM
23

I have the strangest sense of de-ja-vu.. It’s impossible to objectively decide a looksmatch because people have different opinions on beauty etc but. It does sound a little delusional to think that your ‘looks match’ would be considered the member of the opposite sex with the exact same traits as you. Men and women find different things attractive in the opposite sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 08:17 AM
–

‘This so-called "feminist" narrative is most likely engineered and approved by wealthy, powerful men, ’ I don’t think it’s that deep, not every issue is an intentional plan by a cabal of elites. People’s issues with age gaps in broad terms, can be split into three categories- Genuine concern that a barely legal teen is being taken advantage of (someone in their mid-late twenties or older getting with a teen is weird). Most normal people find this weird. Young Adults who want to infantilise thems…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 06:36 PM
13

- So did I and I was smart enough to realize that I should focus on cultivating better friends before trying to gain a partner.‘ That’s wonderful for you, but people still struggling this way are still objectively lonely, regardless of if they could be doing more to try and alleviate that loneliness. - have friends that still make time for me, even if theyre a couple now. Because are friendship is that close.‘ Again, that’s wonderful, but a lot of single people may not have friends who make time…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 11:45 AM
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Individuals have different preferences, but generally/societally, men find the same type of woman most attractive (big eyes, small nose, full lips, looks younger than 25, hour glass figure- some small variation in weight but waist still comparatively small etc). You can see this in glamour models, playboy models, just who is considered most hot in general etc. I think in broad terms there seems to be a consensus amoung men of what is considered the ‘most’ desirable, but perhaps there is an argum…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 09:40 AM
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Not at all what I said but okay
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 08:52 AM
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Yes, and he's saying that what women find attractive creates a lopsided distribution of league placement where much less men have a respectable league than women.‘ My point is that if we where to try and created an objective league (or as close as possible because personal preference, beauty in eye of beholder etc) it would not be as simple as ‘person of opposite gender with same demographics as you is your looksmatch’ because men and women find different things attractive. Some men like very ve…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 08:50 AM
–

You’re the one who said a short curvy brunette woman’s ‘looksmatch’ would be a short chubby man in your original post. I was just disputing that. Ie, that your ‘looks match’ is someone with the exact same traits as you in the opposite gender. I haven’t said anything to suggest that Tall Women and Short Men have the same dating opportunities, I just think your method for deciding leagues is very flawed/lazy and doesn’t represent what most people are actually attracted to in the opposite gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 08:28 AM
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More- saying short curvy women are in the same league as short chubby men is like saying very tall, very muscular women are in the same league as very tall very muscular men, in terms of who society finds attractive. Not sure where the beard came from, to each their own I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 08:15 AM
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Not sure if this is the point of the post, but my understanding is ‘leagues’ are based on what the other sex finds attractive, not based on having the same traits like seems to be described in your post. Ie- All tall blonde people are in the same league, all short chubby brunettes are in the same league- Short curvy brunette girls seem to be a very popular with demographic with certain men, and it isn’t unusual to see thirst posts about that. Short chubby men, less so. I’ve seen men like that in…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 08:09 AM
24

I think there’s a difference between going through a dry spell, and someone who has never been able to have sexual/romantic relationships throughout their adult life, especially if they are approaching an age where their peers are settling down and partners/children are becoming a priority over friendship. People who struggle this way often struggle with other relationships and connections, but even with friendships, I can see how lacking romantic relationships can lead to feeling lonely especia…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 07:10 AM
1

‘ A woman's answer whether to go the friends first route or approach directly isn't so much dependent on what objectively is the right way to do it as much as its reflective of whether she liked the guy who did it.’ Is this really a revelation? Obviously if you go out with someone it’s because you like them, not because they found the secret correct phrase to ask you out with. The world isn’t a dating sim where if you just ask the character out using the right dialogue options you’re guaranteed …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 06:55 AM
17

Most victims aren’t ‘perfect’ victims. People who had an abusive upbringing are more likely to unconsciously seek out abusive relationships, for some of the reasons you mentioned: (validation, familiarity, etc). There are also victims who aren’t completely morally scrupulous. But I think it’s really important to acknowledge that even if someone had some hand in their own situation if they are being abused they are still the victim and it doesn’t excuse the perpetrator. The victim having other mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 08:57 PM
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‘ Obviously the people who are liked the most and have the highest elo score are good looking... but they also have nothing else objectionable about them.’ I have consistently said, obviously if you have something objectionable in your profile then that’s going to skew your likes/suggested likes/desirability score, but most people don’t. And if you know you have a pretty normal profile, and you’re in an area with a high enough population, then your suggested Tinder matches are probably (as far a…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 10:35 PM
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Ehhh.. given that most profiles are basic that seems unlikely. If most profiles are basic then that can’t be the way they are ranked. Besides. Being quirky is a plus if you’re attractive/pretty enough. I’m interested in why you’re so opposed to the idea that people with an attractive photo get more ‘likes’ on the app where you like people based on a pile of digital photos. I think you may be overestimating how much the bio is read. A lot of people do get uncomfortable with the idea that their su…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 10:16 PM
–

Again, I’m going to trust people to use common sense here. Obviously if you have something contentious in your Bio, or you are a single parent, ex-con, whatever, that will impact the matches you get. Obviously. But in large, most people aren’t doing that. Tinder shows you matches that get a similar desirability rating to you. If you don’t have anything in your profile that would be a turn-off for a big portion of the population, then a lot of that would be based on how attractive you are. A lot …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 09:58 PM
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Sure. But most people have a normal profile without any weird/extreme/contentious political stuff. Like yeah. Obviously putting something like that in will impact matches, but most people have the same few basic phrases in their bio, and the matches the get are based mostly on their attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 09:45 PM
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https://www.stylist.co.uk/life/tinder-rating-attractive-desirable-hot-or-not-elo-score-sean-rad-fast-company/63204 Tinder gives every user a secret internal ‘attractiveness’ score, based on how many people want to match with you, and it tries to pair users of a similar ‘attractiveness’. , If you’re in a big city with a large population, the matches they show you are people who are rated similarly in attractiveness to you. So people who complain about only being shown ugly matches maybe need to r…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 09:36 PM
-1

I’m not sure if you’re having a comprehension issue or if you’re deliberately strawmanning. The woman in the video says that men who aren’t having sex are wrong to blame women because that’s just ‘natural(sexual) selection’ (ie, they are not being chosen for sex because they lack desirable traits to pass onto offspring). Regardless of if you agree with that stance or not, it isn’t a ‘moral’ argument. She isn’t saying that women are avoiding these men for ‘moral’ reasons. Sexual/natural selection…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 05:48 PM
2

Romance anime like you described about a mutual love/bond between 2 people seems to be popular with male and female audiences. Anime that are pure male gaze just seem to be ‘MC with personality of toaster gets an ever-growing harem of girls who are inexplicably obsessed with him, and he periodically falls into their tits. Also maybe he gets powers’. Or even worse, another copy n paste isekai. Which is fine, but like, about as much substance as a hallmark movie. Even harem anime’s that have more …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 07:09 AM
4

Obviously there’s a lot more societal stigma against a straight man sleeping with other men, but ultimately I don’t think there’s anything immoral with being disgusted by the idea of sleeping with someone you are unattached to/don’t want to sleep with, regardless of gender or sexuality.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 09:03 AM
–

I think anyone who uncritically believes stuff like this is probably pretty far removed from reality. Sometimes the ‘victim’ does thrive, other times they’re more broken. It really isn’t black and white.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 04:12 PM
3

Yeah and some of the questions make you really think about your own views and bias’
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 06:16 PM
4

Occasionally, for like a week every month, I find it really fun to debate and discuss online and it is a topic of interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 05:14 PM
5

I think it comes down to a difference in sexual appetite and cultural attitudes to sex. On average, men have a higher sex drive and are less picky about their sexual partner. Culturally, there is also a much greater stigma against women who sleep around compared to men. If you’re a young woman who is reasonably or even averagely attractive, a good portion of your male peers and even older men would be willing to sleep with you purely because you are a woman. If you’re looking for just sex too, t…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 10:51 AM
3

Big cities with big disparities in wealth definitely heighten the dynamic you’re describing. Competition is higher in everything in a major city, including in dating. The high cost of living means a lot of people may live in poverty, but cities also provide more opportunities to be a super high earner. Everyone is fighting to get a part of that top %. Unlike a smaller city, town , whatever, theres a limitless amount of people, so I can see how people get stuck in the trap of always wanting bette…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 08:25 PM
3

This reminds me of the views of some really hard-line feminists, who claim to fight for women’s freedom, but if women use that freedom to do things that go against their ideals they’re wrong. Women can have a career if they want, and I think having that right is unequivocally a good thing. Having freedom means women still have the choice to follow traditional gender roles, some women want that. Some people want to be weird and polyamorous. The type of femenism I most align with is that people sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 08:43 AM
2

In terms of dating, the things I personally find boring (doesn’t want to have deeper discussions about things, no esoteric interests, likes to go the same pub do the same activities weekly, doesn’t like to debate about things) doesn’t necessarily make that person objectively ‘boring’ they’re just not well-suited to me personally. Other women would probably like them. I think the same is true for most ‘boring’ traits. The one trait I can think of that is objectively boring is people who talk repe…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 07:23 PM
5

I guess views on overcoming shyness depend on your locus of control. ‘ It is up to women’ You’re right. If you’re passive in your own life and don’t try and strive for the things you want in any way (relationships, connections, jobs, whatever), then you’re leaving it up to other people to take the initiative and hand you those things, it isn’t fair to get angry/upset or feel resentful when people don’t do that. The dating world is never going to be an even-playing field/completely fair. Experien…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 07:39 PM
–

Yepp, popularity of the app doesn’t mean it reflects actual cheating stats
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 07:35 PM
–

Yeah, that’s why I prefaced this by saying ‘taking OP’s claims at face value’ (ie, that the popularity of the app means a large amount of men are actually cheating). I did briefly mention that there are other reasons to post/be on the app besides actually having a bf who is cheating (ie, curiosity spite etc). I don’t actually think the popularity of the app means men are cheating en masse.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 07:07 PM
–

Yeah, that’s why I prefaced this by saying ‘taking OP’s points at face value’, because like you say, someone joining the app/posting doesn’t automatically mean their boyfriend is actually cheating.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 07:02 PM
–

If they find men cheating attractive, then why did they make a whole app to try and stop that from happening? Again, I’ve seen viral ‘are we dating the same guy’ posts and screenshots from the site, it isn’t just ‘chads’ cheating, it’s normal men. So if we take OP’s post at face value (ie, the app is indicative that cheating happening en masse, and there aren’t any alternative motives for joining/posting ), does that not just indicate that infidelity is in every man’s nature?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 12:54 PM
8

That’s not the point I was addressing. OP said that it is impossible for shy men to overcome this and approach women, they have no agency or power to change this, so the only way things will change for them is if society changes/women approach. Ie, that men cannot change things about themselves to make their life better, that it is up to women to change to make life better for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 12:51 PM
–

If we’re assuming that everyone who posted on that site was legit/not out of spite or jealously/control/ or pure curiosity and it does indicate a trend of mass cheating- What’s specifically the point of the post- that men engage in infidelity at such a rate that it’s made a spy-ware app incredibly popular? Ignoring the ethics of the app itself (because that doesn’t seem to be the point of the post) and taking the points of your post at face value, doesn’t this paint men in a negative light? Ie, …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 10:24 AM
6

In the example OP gave it relates to men who can’t get a girlfriend because they’re too shy to ask a girl out. Do you think that a man in this circumstance has any control over changing his behaviour/actions, or do you agree with OP that it is impossible and the only way this man’s fate could change would be if a woman decides to talk to him first? That there is ‘no chance’ of him overcoming his shyness independently. ‘It would make sense if women approached first, right? But you don't. It's mos…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 09:45 AM
1

People’s perception of ‘fault’ for negative life circumstance's for themselves or others usually depends on if they view the world through an internal v external locus of control. Ie, the extent to which individuals believe they have control over events and outcomes in their lives. If, like in the example, a man is single because he’s too shy to ever ask for a girl out, internal locus might say ‘that IS his fault because he’s not even trying and he’s responsible for making his own choices’. Exte…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 07:47 AM
1

UK, France, Spain, Germany Canada, Japan don’t currently have conscription. I’m not googling every developed country. Signing up for the draft at 18 is a US thing (and a handful of other countries),
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 06:33 PM
11

I always found this a weird argument, most men will live and die without ever being drafted. Most countries don’t have a draft/selective service system you have to sign up for. I don’t know why so many Americans treat the draft as an immutable truth when most of their wars seem to use their soldiers to fight in foreign countries for political gain rather than actual national security. It doesn’t seem right to force people to die for something like that, idk why people seem so accepting of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 06:44 AM
0

Do people consider 21 and 25 an ‘age gap relationship’ ?? The issues with discussions on age-gap relationships is people use the phrase to mean anything from 2 people at opposite ends of their twenties to 18 yr olds and 40 yr olds. Those types of age gaps aren’t comparable. I find it odd how many people are Pro any type of age gap or even anti any type of age gap without any nuance.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 08:03 AM
7

Realistically, nearly all couples are both going to have to work and provide financially. There aren’t many couples that can live long-term without splitting bills, often 50/50 or close to that. I’ve noticed that people who spend a lot of time online seem to think men financially supporting women (mostly or fully) is a lot more common/realistic than it actually is. Most people in ltr have chosen each other because of compatible personalities, enjoying spending time together etc. Appreciating som…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 07:26 AM
4

I’m not 100% sure on the overall point of this, but it seems to be ‘boys are falling behind academically because they’re innately less academic, not because of systemic educational issues’. I dont think the average man or average women is meant to partake in ‘elite’ levels of academia. but that doesn’t mean academia can’t be made more accessible to the average person (or child). It also doesn’t mean the issues in education that may more adversely impact boys aren’t also negative for both genders…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 04:16 PM
18

What would you constitute as serious physical damage? That isn’t very specific and could be interpreted a lot of ways. Broken bones? Hospital stay? How long of a hospital stay? I’m permanent deficits? To what extent? Physical or mental? Etc. Depending on the criteria, a lot of people in prison would be getting the death penalty. I’m against the death penalty because the court can make mistakes and I’m also concerned about it being abused for political gain in a world where politics are becoming …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 10:28 AM
19

As much as I think my country should have stricter sentences for violent crimes, I’m not an advocate for the death penalty. How badly hurt do you think a victim has to be for the death penalty to be justified in your view?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 08:47 AM
21

If Australian sentencing is as light as British sentencing, I don’t think a man would get much different in this case. Obviously she deserves a harsher sentence.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 07:16 AM
9

Most women date men who are a few years older. Most women do note date ‘older’ men (10+ yrs).
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 07:09 PM
2

I agree in theory but having kids complicates things. I do think cheating should automatically disqualify you from any type of spousal support
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 06:03 PM
5

Should everything that is morally wrong be punishable by the law? I also think there’s a huge difference between a fine or jail time. Getting for a fine for a breach of a marriage contract isn’t too crazy, putting people in jail is.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 05:59 PM
13

What type of legal repercussions? Like a fine or jail time?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 02:07 PM
1

Okay.. but again.. do you have any actual sources that say women are more likely to get manslaughter by reason of diminished responsibility like you originally claimed? Or do you not and now you’re just changing goal posts?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 09:18 PM
3

So you don’t have statistics on rates of murder charges dropped to manslaughter by diminished responsibility divided by gender .. This study is irrelevant to the point you made (ie, that women are more likely to get manslaughter by diminished responsibility) and it doesn’t seem to have any information on this topic at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 07:23 AM
2

If you genuinely think the court doctors aren’t correctly diagnosing psychosis then this isn’t even a gendered issue anyway, as men and women both can get manslaughter by diminished responsibility. So weird take but completely unrelated to anything we’ve been talking about. I feel like even you don’t know what point you’re trying to make anymore. I understand the reflex to try and somehow have the last word even though everything you’ve said has been based on a huge misunderstanding on the law a…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 08:43 PM
7

Tell me you don’t know what psychosis is without telling me you don’t know what psychosis is.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 06:50 PM
4

‘ Men are less likely to be given this kind of excuse than women are’ What exactly are you basing this on? Do you have statistics on rates of murder charges dropped to manslaughter by diminished responsibility divided by gender?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 06:49 PM
4

Bad advice isn’t sadistic, Machiavellian plot against you , it’s usually just short sighted, or people applying what worked for them to everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 02:27 PM
6

In the case of manslaughter due to diminished responsibility, the defendant could get a hospital order or a prison sentence. This will depend on the defendant’s MH presentation, diagnosis, likelihood of reoffending due to diagnosis etc. it is not based on the charge (ie, it is not true that all manslaughter goes to hospital, all infantacide goes to prison) Due to post partum psychosis being acute and schizophrenia being incurable and long term, an infantacide case is more likely to result in goi…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 02:23 PM
39

This is not correct, If a man killed his wife due to a psychotic episode/untreated schizophrenia he likely would get the manslaughter charge rather than the murder charge. Here is just one example; https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4ng83zy5dxo.amp Also example of a man killing a new born and getting manslaughter charge: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c786ng7ndv4o.amp
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 10:17 AM
28

Part of the reason is probably likely statistical/tracking. UK has fairly robust support for women after birth (health visitors, community midwife etc) part of their role is identifying post partum psychosis, identifying when risks are increasing. If there is an increase in infantacide or a cluster of it, that may indicate a failing in maternity care. Post partum psychosis is also very different from other types of mental illness in terms of just how unwell, how quickly a women (often with no hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 08:20 AM
73

I’m not sure if you’re totally understanding the UK law on this one. It can be infantacide ONLY if the mother is found to have a severe mental illness as a result of pregnancy (ie, post partum psychosis- look it up ). Otherwise it’s just standard murder. Infanticide charge is equivalent to a manslaughter charge. Dropping a murder charge to a manslaughter charge on the basis on mental incapacity is standard in Uk law and not exclusive to post partum women. For example, the Nottingham killer, an a…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 08:05 AM
1

There’s probably some truth to it, but like a lot of things Big creators and popular videos are primarily their to boost their own engagement, views, popularity and money, not to help you or share things that are strictly true. Like a lot of primarily online ideologies, it seems like a way to massively simplify human behaviour in order to try and make the innately unpredictable nature of dating seem like something with set black and white rules. Some people find this comforting. Some parts of it…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 07:46 AM
67

This sub is full of people of different ages, from different countries with completely different experiences. Of course they’re going to have different, often contradictory opinions from each other about what is good dating advice. There’s nothing ‘sadistic’ about it. It’s also impossible to give general dating advice that isn’t super vague and going to actually be helpful for each individual. I would also say, if you feel like advice you don’t find helpful is a personal attack, maybe a debate g…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 08:25 PM
1

Different relationships have different boundaries. Personally I would find it weird to hang around with a straight male friend alone in a social setting, esp if we were both drinking. I would find it weird if my partner met up with a girl to do that too. Maybe because we both came into the relationship without close (straight) friends of the opposite gender who we’d hang out with alone while single. Idk, I don’t think it’s the weirdest boundary to have, so long as you’re not super unreasonable a…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 08:26 PM
1

I can’t tell if this is a troll; there are a ton of women who are into those things. Spaces like table top rp, anime and fandom have a near 50/50 split it seems. I’ve never heard of a man who has made a passion in his specific niche show a ‘must’ for someone he chooses to date. Even in nerdy couples who have different interests, they both seem to support/encourage each other because they both know what it’s like to be passionate about something.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 07:43 AM
4

People who are socially isolated and are bitter/spiteful about it are normally pretty fragile, because they are unable to change their life due to their own overwhelming fears (fears of rejection, connection, their embarrassment etc). While I have a level of sympathy, objectively, getting used to a life of social isolation and not doing things to change that (even if you want to) isn’t strength, it’s complacency. Being forced to isolate because of a Government mandate and isolating due to fear o…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 06:44 AM
1

Not many people in a ltr want to use condoms every time. It’s a necessity for anyone having casual sex, obviously, but they do make the experience slightly worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 07:17 PM
13

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, there should be Birth Control that both men and women can take so both have equal responsibility and equal power in avoiding unwanted pregnancy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 10:15 AM
1

There’s different levels of passivity. There’s being passive we’re you do absolutely nothing to put yourself in situations where you’re likely to meet someone, and if you do, you don’t put any effort into being reciprocal. Expecting a relationship to manifest with no intentions or effort on your part. Then there’s being passive somewhat in your approach but still engaging with the dating scene (ie, going to places you’re likely to meet someone/be approached, responding to messages if someone’s p…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 07:57 AM
6

I think there’s some truth in all those examples (some more than others) but to pretend that those are the only factors at play is disingenuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 12:21 PM
3

It definitely depends on a lot of factors, like my feelings towards the person/nature of our interactions. If they’d made a direct attempt to ask me out and I knew how they felt (suggesting a coffee date or something) I would more understanding/sympathetic, provided the interaction didn’t come across as a guilt-trip. It might seem like a nice (but odd ) gesture. If they’d never directly asked me out and only made round-about hints I would probably find it strange. Like you’re willing to leave th…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 05:14 PM
1

‘Bro, have you seen the way lefties talk about TERFs? Treated as subhuman is right. Or are you going to dismiss trans activists and feminists as traditional?’ We’re talking specifically about benevolent sexism/hostile sexism. Sure some groups treat anyone who questions trans ideology as subhuman, but it isn’t through the lense of benevolent/hostile sexism so it isn’t really that relevant to discussion. I brought up trans debate to highlight examples of men (and women) who care intensely about wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 11:25 AM
1

Nope. Opening a door is so ingrained into society that I don’t think doing it says anything about someone’s views. Benevolent sexism/hostile sexusm It tends to be more prevelant in people with people from cultures/microcultures with traditional values. They might be caring/protective/give special treatment to women, but only so long as they’re the ‘right’ type of women. Otherwise they’re treated as subhuman. An example is people who are extremely vocal about trans bathroom issues because they wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 08:14 AM
2

The issue with benevolent sexism, is that you have to stay in a certain box/be perceived in a certain way or it will very quickly turn into hostile sexism. Think Madonna/Whore complex.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 06:32 PM
2

I made my point to make people examine what it would actually entail if people were entitled to relationships. A lot of people make the ‘people need relationships to be happy so they should be entitled to them’ point without actually seriously thinking about what that actually means and how that would actually work and how absurd/dystopian that would be.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 06:26 PM
5

Do you think we have a moral obligation to make sure every man has a GF?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 04:49 PM
5

As a woman who’s pretty much always dated older men (6-15 yrs ish) a social circle was never a barrier to older men, you meet older men at clubs/bars/pubs etc the same way you meet younger men. Most work places have a range of ages and even university has some mature students. judgement was never that bad. If most young women actually wanted to date older men, they would, the barriers really aren’t that significant. They just don’t want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 02:29 PM
6

I think it’s disingenuous to conflate the two though. There are absolutely settings (ie, work, etc) where a certain level of respect etc is expected and borderline mandatory if you wish to stay in the job. There are no setting where a relationship is something you are entitled to. Expecting respect/kindness from someone is pretty reasonable, expecting a relationship with someone is not.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 10:52 AM
22

You can be nice to men who are struggling to find relationships while also acknowledging they absolutely aren’t entitled to a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 10:50 AM
14

You can be entitled to respect and kindness without being entitled to a relationship though? Why are you conflating the two?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 08:44 AM
37

‘Even if all of these are Immoral (which they are) according to you the person perfectly has the right to do these things.’ Yes because what would be the alternative? The Government banning break ups for specific reasons? I think your point perfectly illustrates why ‘Nobody is entitled to a relationship’ makes sense. Because literally- what is the alternative? People being forced into relationships/people being banned from leaving relationships. As amoral as it is to leave a partner for getting …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 08:41 AM
1

How?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 03:40 PM
5

Raising a family or even supporting a spouse/partner on a single person’s wage is impossible for most people in the current climate. So almost everyone is forced to be a wage slave and living of a spouse isn’t an option for most people unless you prioritise getting a rich partner above all else. It isn’t so much that ‘femenism forced women to work’ so much as inflation/cost of living makes supporting a family (or even a spouse) on one wage nearly impossible in most cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 10:30 AM
8

I think the concept that ‘those arguing from a place of emotion are irrational and wrong automatically’ is a misdirection that stops us from talking about the actual issue at hand (in this case, caveats of free speech) in a meaningful way. A lot of people arguing for free speech on campus come so from a highly emotional place. Some people trying to restrict it may be pragmatically doing what they believe is the ‘greater good’. Both sides ‘feel’ what they want is right. While I don’t agree with c…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 02:39 PM
38

The example you gave doesn’t prove your point at all. People tend to get very emotional when arguing about ‘free speech’ on both sides. ‘Complete free Speech on campus is better’ isn’t a fact, it’s a feeling- something you feel is right. Same as the other side. The whole facts vs feelings dichotomy tends to be short-sighted anyway. Humans are emotional creatures. Logic that doesn’t take that into account is incomplete.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 07:53 AM
2

There are female content creators who make videos criticising this (Ie The perpetual infantilisation of millennial women by Rowen Ellis) and a few others I’ve definitely watched but can’t find by searching lol. While I personally am not a fan of the whole ‘girl dinner’ stuff I also don’t think that trend isn’t that deep and it’s far from the biggest issue, or the only reason people infantilise women (or why women infantilise themselves). It’s been happening before that trend started and it will …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 08:09 AM
0

‘Women end up hating the Men they create.‘ This made me imagine some weird, modern day version of Frankenstein lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 07:36 AM
5

Ehh idk if that’s a bit too simplistic. Not everyone who had the same insecurity has the same way of dealing with it. Sure, some people might be avoidant and chose a partner specifically because they won’t highlight that insecurity, but others might actually prefer someone who’s going to push them positively, esp with things like sexual confidence. Also alternatively, some people who are insecure may end up with someone who criticises and constantly highlights their insecurities. If they’re used…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 07:26 AM
6

Anyone who sleeps with someone they haven’t vetted/hardly know without a condom is responsible for the spread of STI’s.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 07:37 AM
2

In fairness, I don’t think every area has the type of resources we have, our council puts a lot into social care/community stuff, even the next town over doesn’t have half the community groups etc we have. Weirdly, affluent areas seem to have less in the way of pastoral care for mental health. Idk what it’s like in the US. A lot of the guys who get the most benefit from stuff like the all-make community groups are the types who would probably struggle with making friends in a more “normal” setti…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 07:04 PM
1

Often times it does
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 06:44 PM
3

Depends on the individual man, but things I’ve seen help are- free gym pass scheme, free workshops where you actually learn a useful skill (usually something DIY related), expert by experience programmes (if relevant), peer support, male-specific community groups with a range of activities besides just crafts and group therapies. Very rarely have I seen men get as much benefit out of things like ‘Self Esteem group’ as I have compared those interventions listed above. But just to reiterate it dep…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 06:31 PM
2

Everyone’s mental health is important, but Men are more likely to complete suicide, are less likely to seek help, more likely to be extremely isolated, more likely to be radicalised. It’s improved a lot recently, but historically there’s been a stigma around men being weak by showing emotions. Men are also much more likely to develop a psychotic illness, but I don’t think that’s really the type of mental health we’re talking about. As for the customised approach, personally, I feel like a lot of…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 05:48 PM
1

I’ve definitely seen jealous/competitive people from both genders. Most of my experience has been with jealous/competitive women, because I’m a woman. I think women with that mindset are in the minority (after high school at least) but they definitely do exist. They tend to struggle to keep friendships, so after highschool/uni they seem a lot less prevalent, because most normal women don’t chose to hang out with someone like that. My gut reaction was to say that women aren’t like that, then I re…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 05:51 PM
6

Yeah therapy is definitely helpful to an extent, but I really think services that help people build connections/build skills/engage in activities are also really important
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 06:50 PM
28

I work in the mental health field and I generally agree with this, Yes some men get great results from therapy, but it isn’t for everyone or for every problem. Sometimes community groups that offer a space to activities/build connection are more helpful/meaningful. That’s true for women as well, but I personally think even more so for men. Therapy can be very useful but I do think it tends to get overvalued and it ends up overshadowing other strategies that may be more useful in certain circumst…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 06:35 PM
3

Yeah that’s pretty reasonable then
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 11:18 AM
10

Maybe a little controversial but I do agree with the Margaret Attwood quote ‘ You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur.’ I’m not sure if it’s 100% societal/learned or a little innate, but most women are at least subconsciously always aware of their own desirability on some level, sometimes even as an unwanted intrusive thought. A lot of ‘female fantasies’ media focus on the fantasy of being desirable the same amount or even more than the fantasy of attaining a …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 11:26 PM
10

If you’re in the US, then statistically, most women (and men) are overweight, so may not be as reasonable a standard as you may think. This is a more reasonable standard if you live in Europe (excluding certain countries like the UK. If we’re even considered European any more)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 11:20 PM
0

The word ‘need’ is an interesting one, because there’s always an unspoken second part of it- ie, you need X to get Y. Nothing is a Need independently of the thing it gets you. You need food to stay alive. You don’t need a relationship to stay alive, but you could argue that most need romantic relationships to live a completely fulfilling life. Some people argue that only the Needs that are required for you to stay alive are ‘true’ needs. Other people think that Needs for greater emotional fulfil…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 09:13 PM
1

While I’m all for decriminalising sex work, I don’t think sex work is all sunshine and roses. I think it’s dangerous to pretend like sex work doesn’t have a major mental (and sometimes physical) toll for many who engage in it. That combined with the fact it’s a predatory industry that tends to focus on recruiting the youngest people they legally can makes the whole ‘sex work is super empowering, any negative emotional impacts are a myth and you can earn a ton of money!!’ especially dangerous.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 08:12 PM
1

True
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 07:45 PM
-1

What would you suggest you should say to people in that situation?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 07:22 PM
0

The studies have pretty realistic numbers for the amount of time spent on childcare/housework though. The amount of housework/childcare reported by most men in these studies would not be enough time to keep home/look after a child unless they had nannies/house keepers. I think the inability for certain men on this sub to accept there is any validity in any research that even suggests that men aren’t the victims in every situation (even if again- multiple studies show the same thing and there are…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 07:21 PM
0

I always think posts like these are kind of ‘nothing statements’. Most reasonable people agree and understand that being isolated from romantic relationships has a negative impact on people. That isn’t really contentious. Where the disagreement seems to be, is around why some people don’t get romantic relationships, what should be done about it, and if we have any sort of collective responsibility around the issue etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 07:01 PM
3

It’s very convenient that all the multiple studies that you’ve decided all the multiple studies that don’t support your views are bullshit.. Aside from consistently showing women are more likely to do a greater proportion of housework there’s other consistencies from study to study (ie, that women who earn more do less housework, but the inverse is true for men, that wfh increases household tasks for women but less for for men). If the results where fabricated there wouldn’t be so many consisten…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 06:23 PM
2

Why do multiple studies consistently show that women are more likely to do a greater portion of childcare and housework in a relationship then?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 04:47 PM
7

Not from what I’ve seen. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen proponents from both genders but the majority seems to be men. Albeit, a lot of them promote traditional gender roles in every area except the one where they’re the sole financial provider.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 03:35 PM
19

As a woman, I can confirm, I have never once felt pain. I think you’re completely right, if a woman goes on a murder spree she should be sentenced to a bad haircut and online trolling rather than jail time.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 11:09 AM
7

Most people are beholden to some sort of cultural beliefs or influence, (family pressure, religion, cultural values etc) that effects the way we view ourselves and the role we think we should play in society. In a sense, most people are ‘manipulated’ in some way. I don’t think it’s as simple as ‘men are only providers because evil women manipulate them to be!!’. If that where the case, women wouldn’t of fought so hard to have equal employment rights, and the main proponents for traditional gende…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 10:17 AM
2

Most men/people already do this, albeit likely subconsciously.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 09:53 PM
–

All I said was ‘ the wildest takes’, you don’t even know what beliefs I’m referring to lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 07:40 AM
13

I think a lot of the wildest takes on here seem to be people who are chronically online, who get a lot of their information about dating from online grifters. Obviously, America is going to have a slightly different dating culture from other western countries even. I’m from the UK, it does seem quite different from the US and from other European countries, but I don’t believe the US dating market is constantly crazy as people online make it out to be. But I could be wrong, maybe every man there …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 07:29 PM
2

Reddit is known as being a place where everyone is pedantic and literal, I’m just fitting in with the culture
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 11:34 PM
1

Aladdin, the Tinderbox, The Brave Little Tailor, The two brothers, George and the Dragon (at least in the versions where he married the princess) These are ones I can remember, but growing up I remember being read a lot of fairy tails that boil down to ‘peasant man proved himself and marries princess’. The main difference is the men usually prove themselves through fighting something rather than through good deeds/beauty/kindness. A lot of 90’s films especially seem to have a plot where it’s lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 09:21 AM
4

It seems extreme that people where throwing hands over being offered a blind date (esp since you’d assume you’re friend has met them) but again, I don’t remember the 90’s so I’ll take your word for it lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 08:40 AM
5

‘ For example, the typical bad guywould have been complete outcasts and real incels throughout the entire history of mankind, and even the most wretched nice guy would have felt good. This was the case for hundreds of thousands of years and right up until the beginning of the middle of the last century.’ I’m not sure that’s true. Class/social status has always had a huge impact on people’s dating choices (or lack of choices). Back throughout history most marriages would be based on who would be …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 05:35 PM
10

‘ If a girl was told by her friend she wants to set her up with a guy. The girl would get pissed, say absolutely not and punch her in the face’ I can’t tell if you’re saying something absurd because you know that most people on this sub either weren’t born or weren’t adults in the 90’s so we can’t challenge you
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 04:41 PM
0

‘ASPD, the act of SA/rape is practically the definition of ASPD.‘ Not necessarily. Again, if rape was purely committed due to mental illness or ‘personality disorder’ there wouldn’t be such differences in the rates of rape across cultures. The fact that rates of rape tend to be higher in cultures where it is more permissible shows it, by large, is an issue of values. If someone met the clinical definition of aspd, this would be evident across all areas of their life, you would expect some sort o…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 08:09 AM
0

Not being ‘normal’ isn’t by itself a mental health condition. We are a society that over pathologies’ variations in human behaviour. Being sadistic, ‘fucking weird’ or malicious is not by itself a mental illness, even if it is more comfortable for people to think of it that way. ‘ A. most frequently stems from miscommunication first, unaddressed mental health issues ’ Source? ‘always has personality issues that were not treated.’ Even if someone has personality issues that fall under the categor…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 09:15 PM
1

Idk if any of those girls did approach first or not, but none of them are wags now, so whatever it did it didn’t work. To play devil’s advocate on your point though. I like confident men, so when I was single, a man who could approach me first was always more attractive. When I’ve dated men as shy as I am in the distant past it hasn’t worked out.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 07:57 PM
–

Romantic; LTR, going well. Professional: No issues, all the men I work with are professional and competent. In the past I have worked roles where there where a subsection of men who’s behaviour could fall into the category of being sexually inappropriate, usually dealt with by avoiding and ignoring it. Not sure if that was the best but women who did complain got a bad reputation. Still very conflicted about not raising certain things. Friendships: I have men at work I would consider friends, but…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 07:35 PM
1

‘Cause a mentally healthy person just sometimes prefers rape over consensual sex.’ Unfortunately yes. People like to class every bad behaviour as some sort of mental illness because it makes them uncomfortable to think that someone with their full mental faculties would chose to do something so awful. The thing to remember is that rape often isn’t just about sexual gratification, it can be a way to punish/control/hurt/humiliate the victim, and is often a very deliberate act done for a very speci…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 06:41 PM
4

From what I remember (been a while since I watched the video) she understands why some women get to that point, but she doesn’t think it is right/productive. She’s a lot more sympathetic to manosphere/incel circles than anyone else I’ve seen from that particular political niche
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 05:27 PM
9

Contrapoints
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 04:28 PM
1

I don’t think we can even get a decently accurate statistical analysis of this though. Because literally how? If it was that easy to definitively prove or disprove rape there wouldn’t be so much debate about it. A conviction or an acquittal in a lot of cases can’t even with 100% certainty absolutely prove if a rape happened or not. Given a huge amount of cases don’t even go to court then there’s even less evidence either way. Then there’s the fact that false confessions and false retractions (es…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 12:37 PM
5

From what I’ve seen, both sides seem to have the main goal of being victims. I don’t think financial abortion gets widely advocated for because I don’t think it’s a thing even most men want; Once a kid is in this world it needs paying for, and if the parent(s) don’t, the taxpayer ends up paying for it. Even if you want to repeal child benefits/welfare, we still pay for it, because a kid being raised in poverty is much more likely to cost the system one way or another. If the father is perfectly …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 08:33 AM
2

As someone who works in mental health, one person choosing to rape another is not them having a mental health emergency.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 08:15 AM
–

Everyone is entitled to their preferences, but some people are dicks about it (ie, saying disparaging things about those who don’t fit their preferences completely out of pocket). If you don’t like fat women or short men don’t date them, but it’s possible to do that without also making rude comments.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 08:13 PM
1

I believe men have their own social issues, just non that could actually realistically be solved by bargaining with women’s rights
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 05:49 PM
3

Women I know who actively chase ‘high quality men’ or at least their version of it are usually doing a lot of work behind the scenes in terms of placing themselves in the vicinity of where these men will be, sometimes even doing research on it, and making sure they look a certain way when around them, so i guess that’s proactive in their own way. Idk if they approached them first or not though.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 09:07 AM
19

What are the ‘issues’ you feel you need to bargain on?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 08:54 AM
2

Idk why so many men are so keen to pay for other men kids through taxes or otherwise. If a guy has gotten a woman pregnant idk why he should get to abdicate that responsibility and have me and the rest of the tax paying population subsidise it if he’s completely able bodied and managing to work.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 08:52 AM
51

I think one of the biggest reasons that men’s issues aren’t taken as seriously is because so many men who speak about them are incapable of doing so without also either attacking women’s rights or being overly disparaging to women. It ends up with ‘mens issues’ being associated with the type of guys who say ‘your body my choice’ or whatever and ends up delegitimising it completely.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 08:48 AM
47

It’s literally impossible to actually know without a shadow of a doubt what % of rape cases are lies or not, it’s not something that can be accurately studied. Peoples opinions on the rates of false accusations will be coloured by their own world view and experience. I don’t think most women are lying about believing most false accusations are low.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 09:04 AM
2

If a 25-year-old man openly sought high school girls to create explicit content, the response would be swift and absolute- ‘ This is the model for nearly every company that makes porn. Andrew Tate had been bragging for years about getting 16/17/18 yr old girls into the cam girl industry using manipulative tactics and a ton of people still support him. It’s not like he’s alone in that. Bonnie Blue is obviously disgusting and 100% a predator but it’s very naive to think that this isn’t already the…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 08:30 PM
1

Maybe, but does that mean a lack of empathy towards females, esp by a certain subset of men, isn’t a thing and shouldn’t be addressed? Especially if, statistically, women are much more likely to be seriously hurt by men that vice versa?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 07:40 AM
1

Due to algorithms, everyone is on a very different internet. Just because you personally haven’t seen it happen doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 10:41 PM
0

I’m sure there are, but if I’m completely honest, when I see a man sharing a video saying he got stabbed/burnt etc, without giving the story, I just don’t see any ‘but what did you do’ comments
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 10:40 PM
10

Obviously
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 09:50 AM
8

It is wild that, whenever you see a post/video of a woman talking about being beaten up, or acid-attacked, or something, you don’t have to scroll very far to find comments saying ‘but what did you do’. I never seem to see the reverse on videos/posts by men talking about their experience being stabbed or whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 07:49 AM
2

I think when those phrases first started being used, they caught on quick because they epitomised certain annoying archetypes that most people have had to deal with. The ‘not like other girls’ and ‘hyper femininity is shallow and evil’ where huge tropes in the aughts so I’m glad they got some pushback. But I think both those terms are so overused now they’ve basically lost their meaning. Some girls do struggle to fit in with other girls, have had negative experiences of female friendship and fee…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 01:03 AM
1

Could you give a specific example?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 07:44 PM
1

When I dig deeper with a lot of men, about their interactions with ‘evil’ women, a lot of the time the evil is things like not replying to a DM, or rejecting them
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 12:40 PM
1

If the study you’re referencing only surveyed young men and young women, there’s really no way to rule out the discrepency isn’t because the women are dating older men. In fact, given that statistically, women are more likely to date an older man than the reverse, this would be the logical conclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/24 04:41 PM
8

60% of younger men are single and sexless, now compare that to only 36% of younger women. More women date men who are older
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/24 09:13 AM
1

I think part of the problem is, a lot of prominent mens rights and online feminists are grifters, who get paid more the more engagement they get, are incentivised to say more polarising, shocking things to boost said engagement, and that influences people’s actual opinions and created a space that’s based more on vitriol than having actual discussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 04:55 PM
3

One quote from one book (which is suspect you found by frantically googling ‘Historical quote that proves women made the paying on date rules’ or something). Does not magically erase the facts of history. There’s no point in engaging with a conversation with you about paying on dates, because that’s a nuanced discussion that is probably above the bandwidth of someone who thinks history is ‘irrelevant’ and doesn’t know very basic facts about why the world is how it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 10:18 AM
2

Yes. One women I’ve never heard of who wrote a book. That’s much more evidence than every single history book, which says that women where expected to stay at home, paid less than men if they did work (because they weren’t expected to support a family) and weren’t allowed to open bank accounts in their own names until the mid-seventies, weren’t allowed to work most jobs, and many where expected the quit once married. I don’t even know what to suggest to help you. Horrible Histories is a line of …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 08:46 AM
2

When you say things that are obviously untrue like ‘ women invent rules (men must pay for dates, 'provide' for them and so on),’ It makes the history relevant to discuss. Again, another reason why it would be good for you to do some basic history- so you don’t say absurd things that end up derailing your whole post and make people unfortunately question your intelligence. People often say things they struggle with (in your case, History) is irrelevant, because they are embarrassed they struggle …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 08:38 AM
4

I can see other comments also told you the history of why men pay for dates. Why are you putting yourself in a position where you have to be educated about very basic history facts in a Reddit debate group? It’s 2024, the internet is at your fingertips, you can research anything, there’s no excuse. Idk how to say this without being condescending, but I’m sticking to my point that, if your understanding of history is below that of most ten year olds, maybe give the ‘hot takes’ a break and do some…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 08:22 AM
6

‘ women invent rules (men must pay for dates, 'provide' for them and so on)’ Women didn’t invent these rules. These are societal expectations that came about because women where expected to make tending the house their priority, not work, in the past a lot of places would not pay woman a wage that would support a family, because they saw it as taking away money from men. Lots of jobs also required women to quit once married. Women couldn’t open a bank account in their own name till the 70’s. It’…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 07:49 AM
1

This sub always makes me feel really lucky about the majority of men I know and meet irl.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 09:27 AM
3

Unless they’re very disconnected or very much don’t meet conventional beauty standards, most women receive some sort of attention/are pursued in some way by men. It’s the type of attention that varies more, and that seems to depend both on how attractive you look and how respectable you seem.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 04:11 PM
0

I essentially agree with most of this, I just think the ‘get rid of influencers’ thing might be hard to do, since sometimes when the establishment tries to ban or limit things, it makes them more counter culture/more cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 08:03 PM
4

You could use that line to negate any sort of issue. I found a ton of stories about male suicide, and studies etc suggesting it’s a problem, but by your logic, ‘everything happens in the world’ and the pages and pages of stories etc is meaningless, the rate of it happening is irrelevant and it’s only as important as Donna Lange suffocating her husband with her tits. We shouldn’t take any sort of action to help at all, or acknowledge it as an issue. But yes. That logic is totally sound. You are v…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 05:29 PM
5

‘ Yeah, the results are going to be endless because this is how a search engine works.’ If it didn’t happen that often, the amounts of stories wouldn’t be endless. You do know that, right? To use your example about breasts. Pretty much all the results are about one Lady called Donna Lange. Comparatively, if you put in ‘woman attacked/killed/acid attacked for rejecting men’ you find many, many different news stories, a lot of different studies, blogs dedicated to women talking about their experie…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 05:13 PM
3

You want me to advise you on how to cure your loneliness? You seem to place a lot of expectations on strangers. I don’t know you, all I know about you is that you seem to be getting really mad about strangers not acting the way you want, and that’s going to lead to a lot of hurt feelings if you cold approach. If it’s upsetting you this much I doubt it is doing much to cure your loneliness. This is massively vague advice, because again, we’re strangers. I don’t know what culture, or country your …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 03:43 PM
3

Why though? Why do you feel entitled to have women do something that will raise their risk of danger? Why do you feel entitled to a certain response from complete strangers? In essence, they are telling you the truth. The only important truth in those types of interactions is that they aren’t interested in you, and they’ve told you that. Even aside from the safety thing, telling someone you have a boyfriend is the least awkward way to reject them. If you really cared about ‘being told the truth’…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 03:20 PM
6

There is a lot going on with you. Rejection hurts, and I get that, it’s normal. Something I’ve noticed is that people understand that others have a right to reject them, but because they have nowhere legitimate to place their anger, they focus on the method of rejection. If the person was too direct they’re ‘cruelly crushing your confidence’ if they let you down easy they get accused of stringing you a long. In your case, you’re fixated on then ‘lying’ to you. As if random strangers you approach…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 03:09 PM
2

I wasn’t making a statistical point. Unfortunately I could not find any statistics for the amount of women who are murdered and beaten for rejecting men, because this is not something that’s measured. I only included the first page of stories because the results where literally endless. My point was not that ‘This is something that men regularly do’ it was that ‘It happens enough that women who prefer to use the safest rejection line (I have a boyfriend) are not paranoid for doing so ’. Especial…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 02:12 PM
1

Do you lock your car, or the door to your house? Do you openly flash wads of cash in public? I don’t think most of my neighbours or most people are robbers or burglars, but I still take precautions. I don’t get mad at neighbours who lock their front doors and take it personally, and call them paranoid. Again, getting murdered or mutiliated by a man for rejecting him isn’t typical, but still way more common than it should be. But getting threatened or verbally abused isn’t all that uncommon. Most…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 02:02 PM
22

There was so many cases of women being killed/beaten/attacked for rejecting men that I got bored adding the links. If I wanted to add the cases of acid-attacks for rejection specifically it would be literally endless. These are more extreme cases, but most women have at least been threatened or insulted just for not responding to catcalls, or not rejecting softly enough, or just rejecting at all. You learn pretty quickly that ‘I have a boyfriend’ is the safest thing to say, but as evidenced by y…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 12:15 AM
1

Nothing is a ‘true need’. A need is defined by the unspoken part of what you ‘need’ it for. Like you need water and food to survive. Like I said in my first reply, the question of ‘is this a need’ is kind of redundant, because again, most people know that intimacy is needed for most humans to be happy/fulfilled, the same way we know water is needed for us to survive. The real question is, ‘is this an important need?’. Some people think that only the things we need to survive are important. The o…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 04:35 PM
1

Right. So while we can acknowledge the importance of romantic love and intimacy, it isn’t something we have a duty to provide. There are ways we can provide connections and community to isolated people, but this doesn’t include an entitlement to romantic love.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 04:18 PM
1

I think the fact that you can’t even begin to explain what ‘help with love’ would look like, explains why there isn’t a duty to provide this. How could society ‘provide men with women’ without eroding a woman’s right to chose who she sleeps with? Even if a woman was forced to be with and sleep with a man she cannot be forced to love him, because we cannot command the human heart.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 04:12 PM
1

What would a duty to provide love or help with love look like?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 04:08 PM
2

If you say you need something, there’s normally an unspoken extra part that defines what you need it for. Ie. You need water and food to survive, you need lemons to make lemonade. Some people define ‘human needs’ as strictly what we need to survive, so in that case, companionship isn’t a ‘need’. But if you define need by what people need to thrive, be happy, be functional, etc then companionship and intimacy is a ‘human need’. I think sometimes this question can be a little bit redundant though.…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 03:13 PM
1

If you mean need as in ‘needs this to survive’ (like food, water, air) then no. There could be an argument that it’s needed for things like fulfilment, happiness and health. If you ‘need’ something there’s usually an unspoken extra part to explain what you need it for, ie ‘I need this job’ (in order to get financial stability), I need this surgery! (To alleviate my chronic pain), I need a drink (to alleviate my stress) etc etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 08:25 AM
1

Maybe if you’re able to know what your issue is with dating (ie, is it getting dates at all or getting second dates or escalating etc) and what your experience level is (ie, none, some, a lot) it might be easier to find some more specific advice online if you really looked for it. It might be useful to speak to your friends. People can struggle with dating for many different reasons. Online advice tends to focus on broad strokes and common reasons for struggling, but that might not be applicable…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 08:13 AM
2

People tend to give advice based on their own experiences and what’s gone right/wrong for them. For the most part, the type of advice you can get off strangers online is going to be either bad, or incredibly vague.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/24 05:44 PM
2

One silver lining I guess (that’s actually depressing the more you think about it) is that there are so many people who are socially stunted because of video games/the internet that the bar for catching up socially is probably lower.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 08:21 AM
2

Aw, there loss
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 05:01 PM
3

When it comes to a cultural practice like that, normally everyone in the culture is involved in perpetuating it, not just men or women. Of course in ancient China, men had a lot more power in society so obviously that needs to be considered. It would be a lot easier and more accurate to argue that ‘men’ where responsible for the eunuch social class in China, but I feel like laying responsibility for things purely within the gender lines misses a lot of the nuance. Footbinding not really comparab…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 08:01 PM
2

Notes ‘ But the men organize game nights, outdoors trips, hobby projects, big event outings, and sports in my circles. ’ That’s all nice, I don’t know a lot (or any, not that I think about it ) of families that do stuff like that together planned. If holidays(vacations) count as ‘big events’ but pretty much every family has meals and gatherings and present giving. But I feel like we’re getting off topic. My point wasn’t to get in a tit for tat argument about who has it the hardest, it was just m…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 07:00 PM
16

Contrapoints made a really awesome video on this topic, it’s really long but it’s worth watching. Ultimately, a lot of the things we find entertaining to watch would be a nightmare in real life. A lot of male fantasy shows are about being in mortal danger, guns, explosions, being deathly injured but still killing the bad guys, or maybe jumping on a bomb to save everyone. Sometimes they involve things like the main character killing or torturing people. Most people understand the average man does…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 04:28 PM
1

Given that you can’t explain how I’m wrong, I doubt it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 04:06 PM
0

‘ This happens??’ Absolutely. An example, is even in families that are pretty relaxed about gendered expectations, when you have a family gathering it’s normal for the men and boys to be watching TV, and the women and girls to be in the kitchen preparing food. This is reflected in media, my family, pretty much every family I’ve been to, etc etc. There’s also generally more of an expectation that female family members (mothers, daughters) will take the lead with things like organising events/gett…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 04:06 PM
2

But they’re doing it to uphold masculine values (ie, their son’s should have to do ‘women’s work’ ) not out of spite (misandry is defined as contempt against men. Regardless of any negative effects on the boys, the motivation is to uphold masculinity. So by definition, ‘toxic masculinity’ is more appropriate way to describe it than ‘internalised misandry’ (which, is especially irrelevant as the example I gave was about a woman’s views so it wouldn’t be internalised). I suspect you just don’t lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 03:55 PM
0

How is the belief that boys shouldn’t have to contribute to household chores (the example I gave) misandry?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 10:47 AM
4

How? I said men and women can contribute to toxic masculinity. But also, I think when you start using so many words like that, in that order, and expect people to know what you’re talking about (seriously, nothing solid even came up when I googled ‘male hyperagency fallacy) it’s a sign you are spending way too much time online.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 07:23 AM
13

I think it’s a narrow view to see toxic masculinity being upheld by just men or just women. It tends to be upheld by cultures and micro-cultures where gender rules are more strictly adhered to and there’s more consequences for not doing so. Sure there are lots of women who uphold toxic masculinity ie, the mothers who expect their daughters to do chores but not their sons. But there are lots of men who do so too, and there’s also men and women who try and keep avoid stuff like that. I will say, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 10:35 PM
2

It’s a mixed bag really. I tend to differentiate between someone who literally meets the definition of incel and someone who self-defines as an incel, because they tend to have very different view points and attitudes.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 07:20 PM
3

From what you’ve described, you can or have gotten sex that you haven’t paid for but choose to use escorts because of convenience/taste etc. I think a lot of men who struggle with access to sex describe a deeper sense of isolation, and it isn’t just about access to the act of sex but rather feeling cut off from real connection/affection. I am not sure that they would find using prostitutes a positive experience, I think there’s a different between ‘I use this because it’s the option that suits m…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 08:33 AM
10

I think people on this group focus way too much on gender as the main divider when really it’s class/status. A lot of the advantages people accuse the other sex of having are things that are dependent on class and status.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 07:50 PM
35

I’d be really interested on seeing a study to see how age and nationality/culture effects peoples opinions on this. I wouldn’t want to be with a man who’s constantly watching porn but I don’t think it’s cheating and I think it’s normal for men to watch it occasionally. It seems like a weird thing to police to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 10:07 AM
8

‘Compared to straight men, both straight women and gay men have an overabundance of free sex offers’ You yourself admit there is an over abundance of sex offers for gay men. I have just pointed out that sexuality is irrelevant in this discussion, because as we’ve already established, sex work usually involves having sex with people you wouldn’t choose to sleep with without the money. While technically, there is more straight men than gay men (statistically speaking) the demand for sex workers is…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 04:07 PM
12

Never heard of gay for pay I guess? A straight man having sex with another male for money might be uncomfortable/unpleasant/dangerous/painful/reputation-damaging, but again, all those things can be said for a woman prostituting herself to men. It doesn’t change the fact that it is technically an option. If you try to say it isn’t an option, because most straight men would find it horrible/traumatising etc, most straight women would say the same thing about being a prostitute too.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 02:12 PM
7

I can’t see a single thing in your post that disputes anything I’ve said.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 02:03 PM
11

Men also have the option to prostitute themselves (to other men, of course) finding a man willing to buy you for sex isn’t any more difficult (and honestly, after playing around on my friends Grindr account, might even be easier). You could argue that prostituing yourself to another man would be demeaning, unpleasant, painful, dangerous, could damage your reputation etc, but you can apply all those factors to women prostitutuing themselves to men. So technically, no women don’t have more options…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 01:58 PM
14

The average woman wants to sell herself for sex to random men, likely about as much as you want to sell yourself for sex to random men. Aside from that, being a sex worker massively increases your risk of violence and murder. Sources vary, because it can be a hard thing to get exact statistics on, but sex work can increase your risk of being a homicide victim around 18x https://researchonline.lshtm.ac.uk/id/eprint/4647626/1/Sex%20Work_GOLD%20VoR.pdf That’s not even counting the less-deadly impli…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 01:11 PM
1

It isn’t disappointing when that’s already your expectation though. When your expectation is always the most negative explanation possible, it avoids disappointment because you don’t get your hopes up. Some people find more comfort in a negative world view/schema and find the ambivalence of a more accurate world view (ie, you don’t know if it’s personal or not and you likely never will) anxiety-provoking. The subconscious motivation for this can be avoiding disappointment (by always assuming the…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 03:37 PM
1

That’s a negative schema, based purely on conjecture not facts. Again, negative bias’ like this (‘Almost all woman will leave a man immediately got a better offer’… If a woman rejects me it’s because I’m inadequate and unlikely to be due to outside sources) lead you to develop further cognitive distortions that stop you from seeing the world objectively and can negatively impact your own self image and image of the world. It is not helpful. Thinking this way can help avoid disappointment by alwa…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 02:41 PM
2

I don’t think it’s helpful to view things in the most negative light possible. A girl rejects you by saying she has a boyfriend. All you know is she says she has a boyfriend. I don’t think it’s helpful to imagine/assume a made up story about her being willing to leave him if you’re good enough. Negative schemas like that (ie, it’s always personal if I am rejected and never due to factors outside of my control. It’s always because I’m not good enough) are not only unhelpful, but eventually lead t…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 11:55 AM
3

It’s crazy how you can twist a very reasonable thing (rejecting someone because you already have a partner) and turn it into something malicious. People tend to pick apart every different type of rejection, and blame the method of rejection on why their feelings are hurt (ie, it’s either too blunt or not clear enough etc) when the truth is rejection just hurts full stop, and there probably isn’t a way the other person could of done it to make it not hurt, but that isn’t their fault.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 11:25 AM
1

I’m for decriminalisation, but I’m not sure about actually legalisation, I think that could cause more issues for prostitutes and for customers.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 08:17 AM
2

A lot of people who have unreasonable standards seem to get mad at society and random people because nobody who meets those standards wants to date them.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 06:51 PM
3

Loosing virginity on average at 18 in the UK seems pretty accurate
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 08:00 PM
–

I feel like you know what you’re getting into if you go onto podcasts like that. Telling a woman she looks younger than her age is pretty much the accepted thing to do, but sometimes I wonder how helpful it actually is. It just feeds into this idea that youth is the only valid social currency for a woman. Plus you get women who very much looks their age constantly saying how much younger they look, because that’s what they’ve been told, and it just creates a sense of dissonance.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 07:33 AM
2

‘i'm using my own barometer here, where i would make sure my partner freely wanted it.’ So you come home, ask if your partner if they want to have sex, they say yes, you have sex, later he tells you he only did it to make you happy. By your own logic you coerced him and you said all coercion is rape, so now your also a rapist. If you don’t think that’s absurd then we really have no common ground. As I have said multiple times, Rape is a very serious crime and that’s why it’s important to have a …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/24 06:46 PM
1

‘ if its only a small minority of society that doesn't take it seriously, why do only a tiny fraction of rapists ever spend a day in jail?’ Again, I think you’re misunderstanding my point. I am not saying that rape ‘Is’ taken seriously, I’m saying it should be, and is a serious enough crime that it should (if proven, which is hard) always result in a jail sentence. Obviously lack of support for Rape victims is an issue, but completely irrelevant to my point. My point is about how serious I (me p…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 08:00 AM
2

I’m really confused by your first point. My point was ‘ Rape is an incredibly serious crime, and it should always etc’ The key word here being ‘Should’. Not ‘Is’. My belief is that it ‘Should’ be treated seriously and result in a jail sentence. ‘ wouldn't society like.... do something to stop it if it were so serious?’ I really hope you aren’t implying that rape isn’t serious because some parts of society don’t treat it as such, and this is just poorly worded. ‘ yes, which would mean that coerci…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 09:13 PM
–

History is so vast and so varied that there isn’t really a norm when it comes to human relationships. There’s been societies were monogamy was the norm, others that had harem systems, some that were just pure polygamy. Ages that people settled into relationships also varied at different places and in different regions. While it is typical for men to be older in relationships, huge age gaps (like 18 and 35) weren’t the norm in many past cultures that I can find, especially not western ones. For e…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 02:51 PM
3

A man in his mid thirties Dating a woman in her early to mid twenties is still a lot more common. The only reason it would be hard to find evidence of that is because it’s so common it’s not even newsworthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 05:37 AM
2

Coercion and Rape are not interchangeable. Rape is an incredibly serious crime, and it should always result in a jail sentence if it can be proven. Consenting to have sex with a partner when you don’t 100% feel like it is not rape. Rape is not defined by someone being negatively impacted, it’s defined by the perpetrator’s actions. Qualifying anything but incredibly enthusiastic consent as rape minimises the seriousness of rape and makes people complacent. Wanting to get rid of the word ‘rape’ be…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 04:42 AM
29

If I’m being totally cynical, men who are ‘high value’ (rich, good looking etc etc) do this anyway, maybe not with 18 yr olds, but unless they where in a ltr since being young, they do seem to go for women in their mid-twenties. I think that you’re forgetting that a lot of 18-20 yr olds would find a much older man hitting on them creepy. A 35 yr old is nearly twice their age, for most normal 18 yr olds they’ll see you in the same category as their older teachers and their parents. Unless he’s ri…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 04:13 AM
11

It makes sense in theory, but I have known people who are great friends but pretty terrible romantically. Like I had one friend who got nervous on first dates and would drink too much and was sick everywhere more than once.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 04:04 AM
3

You don’t think someone who is manipulative and controlling would, in general, have an easier time controlling a sheltered 18/19 yr old who would likely subconsciously looks at him as an authority figure compared to a 25 yr old, who’s likely been through college/worked/lived independently, had more past relationships as a bench mark? Again, not every age gap relationship is controlling, and there are controlling relationships between same-age partners, so we aren’t being black and white here. Bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 04:02 AM
4

I don’t think that rule works as you get older. Like that would mean an 100 year old marrying a 57 year old. I don’t think the older person taking advantage is really an issue in that case, but unless it was a money thing I’ve got no idea what a person still in middle age could want/have in common with someone who’s knocking on death’s door and old enough to be their grandparent.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 03:50 AM
1

Not getting checked out/not practicing safe sex is a whole different matter, and in my opinion, completely morally wrong. But if a person has been checked and knows they have no stds/issues, would it not be the same?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 05:44 PM
1

Both could have negative consequences. Both could lead to people feeling upset and betrayed by you
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 05:33 PM
-1

But he’s still lying/lied to his partner about past experiences, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 05:22 PM
1

You think men lying about not being virgin and women lying about not having a high head count is a necessity to even the playing field?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 04:36 PM
1

When I was in school the boys who lost their virginity before 17/18 where in the minority, so if someone tried to lie about it (who wasn’t cool/known to have been in a relationship) they’d be scrutinised/disbelieved. There wasn’t that much stigma in being a virgin until you got towards the end of first year of uni. I guess different micro cultures have different expectations and stigmas.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 04:19 PM
-1

I can understand why people lie about things like virginity, and I don’t think there’s anything hugely wrong with it, but I understand that some people take their partner lying about anything as a betrayal. Personally I think lying about having sexual experience when you’re that young (like high school age) is much more likely to massively backfire, so I wouldn’t recommend it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 04:08 PM
2

So you think it’s morally equal?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 03:53 PM
31

There isn’t really a one size fits all reason for age gap relationships; sometimes two people just like each other of different ages, sometimes a man is less mature for his age/has a different lifestyle from most women his age, sometimes it’s a gold-digger situation and sometimes it is about being with someone they can control and influence easier. The size of the age-gap also makes a huge difference. My opinion on 10-15 yr age gaps is different than say 25 yrs +
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 03:44 PM
1

I tend to agree, that not getting enthusiastic consent isn’t the same as not getting consent, and therefore isn’t rape/assault. I think there are certain circles that think any type of negative sexual experience must be rape/assault, or sexual experiences are only negative/harmful if they can be classed as assault. I think that stops people from openly being able to talk about negative sexual experiences that aren’t rape. Like in the example you gave, the Husband might be negatively impacted by …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 03:33 PM
0

So you think it’s as acceptable as a man lying about being a virgin?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 03:26 PM
2

Well. Yeah. But what are your views on it? Do you think it as acceptable as a man lying about not being a virgin?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 03:26 PM
7

I think this is a fairly reasonable thing to do given the stigma (obviously could have negative consequences but so could anything). What are your views on women lying about their headcount in the reverse?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 03:05 PM
-1

I think people like to think that there is a particular constellation of ‘stats’ you can have combined with particular ‘dialogue choices’ that guarantee romantic success and happiness, because that makes it seem like the world is more in their control. Obviously, having good game, good appearance etc helps increase your chances but real life is unpredictable.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 03:03 PM
2

This mindset is pretty pervasive throughout all walks of life. My experience is more with police/healthcare professionals, but the difference in how desirable Vs undesirable people are treated by the system is really disheartening.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 06:36 PM
0

That could be going on to an extent. But even if the hobbies/confidence advice did genuinely work for person A, it might be irrelevant to person B, who has a completely different set of issues. Without actually meeting a person it’s impossible to know what their actual issues are, and a lot of people lack insight into how they’re perceived by others, so their self-assessment in the post might not be accurate in the first place. Men I know irl who struggle with dating all have different reasons w…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 04:38 PM
2

These statements could either be really reasonable or really unreasonable depending on how intensely they’re applied lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 08:08 AM
87

If you complain about something online, you’re going to get advice on how to remedy that situation, no matter what it is you’re complaining about. Advice you get from strangers online is always going be variable in quality and influenced by their own experience. Lots of people found more dating success when they did the things you mentioned (more hobbies, confidence, getting in better shape etc) so it makes sense that these things are recommended. In general, you aren’t getting this advice becau…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 08:00 AM
2

I think I used to get approached more a few years ago, but I also used to go to clubs more, and worked somewhere with a more equal gender split (as opposed to now where it is more women), and used to get a higher rotation of staff (so often working with new people). I also wear an engagement ring now. Whenever I (occasionally) go out to a club type place, still get approached. Haven’t been approached on public transport recently, but then again, I can drive and afford taxis now so I don’t spend …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 07:01 AM
7

If you’re in an internet wormhole that seems to just be making you angry/scared/dislike a group of people I would always recommend stepping back from it. Like yes, I do think women should be careful around men to an extent, but I dont think consuming content designed to make you angry/scared is good for you. Algorithms has really warp our sense of reality and make bad things seem more prevalent than they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 04:15 PM
10

Two different people’s actions could fit the same description (ie, she laughed at my joke, and told me I’m funny) and in one situation it’s platonic and in the other she is interested sexually. Some people are able to discern how the woman actually feels in that situation and others can’t. Some people can’t pick up the ‘vibe’ a lot easier than others. It’s partially personality and partially experience. When it comes flirting, following prescriptive advice (ie, the double bind you described) usu…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 04:09 PM
17

I’m always a bit skeptical of people lambast the Me Too movement because they ‘can’t do anything any more’. What is it that you used to do that you can’t now?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 07:46 AM
1

I agree to an extent, but also, unless you’re explicitly told you don’t always know why you where rejected, and some people use every bad thing that happens to them to fuel already existing cognitive distortions and that isn’t helpful. A while ago I saw a man complaining about a woman who rejected his offer to help with a bag, and his interpretation of that was that it meant she thought he was creepy/disgusting/trying to assault her etc etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 07:09 AM
1

If they followed that method they wouldn’t be prostitutes then.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 06:59 AM
3

Not prostitution
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 08:27 PM
1

You can have widely different interests than another person and still have similar values and senses of humour.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 07:17 PM
3

It would have to meet the criteria I set above. So I guess if she agreed to sleep with him if he bought her a £100 gift card, and he did, then she slept with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 07:13 PM
28

When a woman says ‘pay me x amount and I’ll sleep with you’ and the man pays her X amount and she sleeps with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 05:29 PM
11

https://youtu.be/23Z1zfjJGlc?si=OdxTQEj4IPlT_OFY If anyone has 30 mins this is a really good video about how male sexual assault is treated as a joke in the media. There’s a huge amount of stigma about a man reporting sexual assault from another male. There seems to be a subconscious belief in society that a man who’s been sexually assaulted (by another male) is fundamentally changed in some way, and even if people are more sympathetic and understanding there’s still a huge amount of shame attac…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 02:55 PM
2

Confidence, at the very least is pretty well-accepted as a desirable/attractive trait.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 02:26 PM
0

I’ve never really read the comments tbh, just the parody posts
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 04:52 PM
6

Have you checked it out recently? The parody posts seem pretty equal opportunity.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 11:28 AM
49

Have you ever the read ‘am I the Angel’ subreddit. They make good parody’s of the types of posts you always see on Reddit. Reddit can be really good for practical advice (like recommending places to go, telling you how to build something etc) but the relationship/life advice can be pretty meh. Like you know exactly what type of advice you’re getting depending on what subreddit you post in.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 07:23 AM
2

I think there’s some theories that altering your appearance (like hair styles, primitive makeup) could of been a sign of health/good grooming/cleanliness and intelligence to ancient ancestors. At the very least it would attract attention. There’s also a factor that some appearance altering techniques can give individuals characteristics that are already considered innately attractive, ie, hairstyles/treatments that makes hair look fuller and thicker (indicating health), things to smooth the skin…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 06:38 PM
1

Female-specific advocacy groups don’t talk enough about male-suicide within those groups, so all women deserve to be assaulted and raped I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 01:41 PM
3

I know some men who’d love that
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 07:33 AM
1

Can you give any specific examples/show any links of men being called entitled for wanting support with male suicide? If this is happening so frequently that you think all women deserve to be assaulted for it, that shouldn’t be hard. Again, lots of women (and men) don’t really make advocating for male-specific issues a priority. Not everyone cares about social issues, and some people put all their time and energy into other social issues. You’re talking like men and women are one big hivemind. C…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 06:57 AM
12

I’ve seen men being called entitled quite often for saying they think they’re owed a relationship, but not really just for asking for help with something reasonable. Thinking about all the normal things a person may need help with- An injury, an illness, directions, etc, It doesn’t seem like men are being called entitled en masse for asking for help with things. The phrase ‘men get called entitled for asking for help’ is so vague it’s difficult to apply it to reality. Like help with what? indivi…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 08:02 PM
14

Not to be rude, but I’m not sure the relevance of that to my comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 07:18 PM
1

Not really.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 07:16 PM
63

It’s weird how many people on this sub seem to have a fantasy about seeing a woman being attacked/raped and leaving her/not calling the police as some sort of retribution for the perceived slights they have faced from female-kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 05:50 PM
6

Yeah exactly. I’m pointing out that no matter how you reject a person (directly or indirectly) someone’s going to think you went about it the wrong way, and there isn’t a perfect ‘right’ way to reject someone’s advances. I see posts on here all the time complaining about women leading men on (like this one), and also being mad at women for being direct in their rejections (like turning down cold approaches bluntly). I think maybe people just don’t like being rejected, but instead of being honest…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 05:45 PM
10

When something is explicitly an inappropriate advance (like forcing a kiss, touching, grabbing), it’s easy to cut someone off. But when it’s in a grey area it isn’t as straight forward. I don’t think it’s hard to understand why fear of reputation damage is an influence on people’s behaviour, and why some people would rather have an easy life than be having confrontations constantly.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 05:15 PM
18

‘She’s so conceited. I was just being nice to her and she accused me of flirting and told me to stop. You can’t say anything to women these days without them thinking you’re being inappropriate. Women like that are dangerous.’
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 03:03 PM
22

In some situations you just can’t win. If a male friend is clearly trying to escalate things and you reject him/tell him you’re not intetested before he asks you out then you’re conceited for assuming he likes you/you’re making things awkward/you’re a bitch. But if you don’t reject him in the absolute clearest terms then you’re leading him on. I don’t think there’s a perfect way to react to flirting you’re not interested in.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 01:06 PM
1

There’s not really one rule book on how you should react to learning your partner doesn’t trust you. Most people would be hurt but wouldn’t leave their partner over going through their phone/asking for a paternity test, but they wouldn’t leave their partner for it. For some people though that type of violation is something they’d never get over and it would completely kill their relationship. The commenters are probably giving advice based off what they would do (ie, work through it) but there’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 07:57 AM
4

There are already plenty of kids who don’t have any parents that I’m bankrolling, along with lots of other things, why would I want to pay for kids who have two parents? Just because I’m paying for taxes anyway doesn’t mean I don’t care where they go to. Like I want my taxes to help society some way, not help men have a bunch of unwanted kids without consequence. The real question is, why are so many people on this sub, most of whom don’t have kids and some who claim to be virgins/incels, so kee…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 11:37 AM
2

I don’t think it should be mandatory, parents should be able to request a paternity test if they wish, but I don’t trust the Government with a database of the DNA of everyone born. It should be up to the parents if they wish to do that. Even if the Government says they won’t save the results of the DNA test to a database, they easily could, and mandatory Government-enforced DNA samples sounds like a recipe for all sorts of disasters. I think men should have to pay for any child that’s biological…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 08:55 AM
1

I’m not overly familiar with the American political system or constitution but sounds right
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 08:17 AM
5

I’ve not seen anyone say that personally, I think anyone who thinks that is definitely in the minority
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 10:19 PM
76

I think pretty much everyone agrees with this. I’m aware that certain Governments still make men pay for kids that aren’t biologically there’s, but I think that’s because they want to save money, not because anyone actually thinks that’s the right thing to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 08:12 PM
1

You can have friends of the opposite sex, but I think if you’re in a (straight) relationship there should be boundaries with how close you can be with heterosexual friends of the opposite sex. I have male friends, but I’m not messaging them all the time, and I wouldn’t do anything 1x1 with them like go for meals together or something that’s like a date, we hang out as part of a group. I think every couple is different though in terms of boundaries and there isn’t one right way to do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 06:59 AM
1

https://learninghub.leadershipacademy.nhs.uk/mental-health-care/emotional-labour/#:~:text=When%20working%20in%20health%20and,a%20suitable%20work%2Drelated%20emotion. https://www.talkspace.com/blog/emotional-labor/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5823819/ https://rightasrain.uwmedicine.org/life/relationships/emotional-labor https://www.talkspace.com/blog/emotional-labor/#:~:text=Common%20emotional%20labor%20examples%20in,doesn't%20do%20the%20same https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emoti…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 07:08 AM
1

Emotional labour has a pretty well-established meaning, ie, the management of one’s emotions and presentation for the benefit of others. The only debate I can see about it’s meaning is that some people believe the term should only be applied to paid employment (think service industry). I had a check online, I can’t see a definition of Emotional Labour that covers what you’re describing ( ‘the expression of emotions, positive or negative’ from what I can tell). ‘Managing someone’s emotional state…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 08:51 PM
21

I don’t understand why men who go overseas for sex tourism wouldn’t be using their own protection. I get a lot of men don’t find it preferable but if you’re sleeping with sex workers without protection then a kid is probably the least of your worries..
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 03:55 PM
3

Notes If you want to get really technical, emotional labour, at least as it was originally coined, is specific to work, ie, the management of human feeling performed as in exchange for pay and as a condition of employment. https://www.city.ac.uk/news-and-events/news/2022/08/what-is-emotional-labour-and-how-do-we-get-it-wrong#:~:text=She%20explains%20that%20emotional%20labour,making%20the%20bereaved%20feel%20understood. Some people argue that Emotional Labour shouldn’t be used to describe managem…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 03:50 PM
2

Emotional labour doesn’t usually mean you’re the ‘emotional one’. If you’re doing a lot of emotional labour it usually means you can’t be too emotional (at least when it comes to expressing negative emotions, like tiredness, anxiety, agitation) It’s about having to manage the presentation of your emotions for the benefit of others (either at work or at home). Being stoic could be emotional labour, for example if you’re feeling really upset/agitated, but you’re partners also feeling that way and …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 06:49 AM
6

It’d be nice if we could get to a happy medium where it was acknowledged that emotional labour can take a toll and it probably isn’t healthy to have just one person bear the brunt of all your emotional needs (esp if you’re someone who needs a lot of validation and support) and there are some issues that will need professional support Without going too far and leading to the weird transactional ‘I don’t owe anyone anything, I shouldn’t make a single effort or sacrifice for people in my life, and …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 10:11 PM
2

I think concentrating too much on putting other people down is an unattractive trait in either gender. It can go either way, some men go waaay out of their way to tell you how much more manly, brave and traditional they are compared to modern men. Personally I’m not a big fan of people who constantly verbally tell you how great they are. I’m a big believer in showing over telling.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 08:07 AM
–

‘Irl a woman said I was disrespectful because I laugh and joke with other people and have long conversations BUT not with her.’ I was responding to this. I made another comment specifically replying to the OP. I don’t know the intricacies of your interactions and conflict at work. But I think it’s inaccurate that someone thinking you’re rude for leaving them out is necessarily entitlement. Again, the example I originally gave still stands. I don’t owe men attention, but if I’m dismissive and ign…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 07:53 AM
9

Telling someone you think they’re disrespectful doesn’t necessarily mean you think you’re entitled to anything from them. Is there more to the story or is that it? I don’t owe men attention, but they might think I’m rude if I straight-up ignored them, and I really don’t think that’s entitlement, unless they retaliated against me for ‘taking what is owed to them’. Do you think you’re entitled to live your life without people voicing negative opinions on your actions or inactions?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 07:19 AM
1

I think every human should be entitled to freedom from violence/assault by other humans. They are entitled to be paid for contracted/salaried work they do for another person (if this was agreed prior). I think a basic level of food and water should be a human right/entitlement (of course, this is more likely to come from a state or institute than another individual) People should be entitled to freedom from harassment/stalking (of course, a definition of illegal harassment has to be defined). Pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 06:53 AM
1

I didn’t deny it was a thing. But the extent to which men’s money is a priority in relationships is going to vary between cultures and countries.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 09:08 AM
3

Most of the women around me and in my personal life/I meet through work/just kind of know of seem to earn on average about the same as their partner or a little bit less. I don’t really know anyone who dates people only based on income, but I am aware that this might be different in different areas and cultures.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 11:26 PM
15

If you’re serious about being together with someone and building a life, financial prospects are something that should be considered. We don’t live in a fairytale world, financial status (esp in the current cost of living crisis) massively impacts your quality of life and financial issues are one of the main causes of strife in a relationship. I don’t think people who marry just for money are typically happy or fulfilled, and there’s always a chance anyone could go broke but everyone (men and wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 07:29 PM
2

Yeah I guess if ‘your not dumb which cane first ‘ would be obvious..
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 06:14 PM
32

I think there’s truth to what you’re saying but it can be a chicken and the egg situation. Most of my male role models where positive growing up/ situations that weren’t positive weren’t treated as acceptable. As a result I think I’m pretty good at discerning what’s a red flag and which Men are nice normal people, and as a result, have mostly only positive things to say about current partner, exes, friends etc. It’s a positive feedback loop. But women who grew up with negative male role models/s…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 10:30 PM
2

I think power in simple terms is the ability to get what you want and ability to exact your will. Power definitely isn’t as black and white as ‘men have societal power, women have power in relationships’, and tends to be much more complex than that. There are certainly men who have more power within an intimate relationship and women who have power over certain men in society. I think in the modern western world Gender isn’t the biggest predictor of power for most people, it’s things like socioe…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 09:51 PM
4

Not sure the exact relevance of your first point. It seems like your responding to my point about women getting mixed messages by saying ‘Well men get mixed messages too!!’ Without actually addressing the contents of what I said. Because yeah, the whole ‘Believe the best in men unless he actually does something bad then it’s your own fault for not realising’ is kind of a catch-22 for women. I fear that a lot of the frustration men get about ‘mixed messages’ is because they want there to be one u…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 09:02 PM
14

It’s difficult when men consider women (who they don’t know) ignoring them or being reluctant to engage with them as evidence that women are horrible. As a woman you’re constantly receiving mixed messages that you’re a judgemental bitch if you’re wary of men, but also, if something bad happens to you and you weren’t being wary of men then it’s your own fault. Also, the notion that men are always kind to each other is pretty ludicrous. Sure, there are tons of positive male friendships and relatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 04:00 PM
2

Same goes for anything. It isn’t good or productive to constantly be consuming rage-bait media about any topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 06:37 AM
–

But rage-bait content is so good for engagement.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 06:40 AM
2

I’ve seen you post a few really out-there things, and I can’t work out if you’re trolling or not
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 05:17 PM
1

I don’t really see this stuff at all, on any social media, or online site I use (except ads when I’m watching tv shows on online sites) I know you said it’s not your algorithm, but maybe it is a bit. On Facebook you can edit your algorithm by seeing what it thinks your interests are and editing it. If you have a close partner or family member who you live with who is Googling certain things, that also effects your algorithm (like I knew when my boyfriend was looking for a necklace for a gift for…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 05:12 PM
5

Idk, if anything, the notion that a woman can always find some guy willing to sleep with her, even if he isn’t attracted to her, doesn’t like her and won’t respect her is kind of the opposite of a fantasy that makes women feel attractive. It’s a stark reminder that sexual attention doesn’t necessarily mean you’re attractive, likeable, or have any sort of charm, in some cases it just means you have a vagina.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 05:57 PM
1

If the parents don’t pay to support their child, the rest of society will one way or another. I don’t see why I should have to pay more tax because some deadbeat won’t pay child support for a kid they made. ‘answer whether you think couples that can't afford kids should be allowed to have them.’ Are you suggesting enforced abortions or that the government should take the kid and the taxpayer pays for them completely?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 09:06 AM
1

kids should have more free play/outside time and not be stuck in classrooms as much, especially the younger ones. Being stuck in the classroom all day isn’t the best for most kids, but I think studies show boys struggle with it more and are more likely to be labelled ADHD/Behavioural problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 07:03 PM
1

This sounds miserable, I think if you’re having to stoop to such extreme mind games you should just accept than a serious relationship is a lost cause.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 04:08 PM
4

I’m not saying this to me mean, but if you’ve had multiple first dates that have initially seemed to go well then she blocks you after/is annoyed at you by date 2, that seems to suggest maybe you are a common denominator. You said you’re good-looking, friendly and engaging which is probably true if you’re able to get all of these dates, and have them be fun at least initially, so I’m not saying this to insult you. I’m just looking at the facts that, from what you’ve said, your dates have a simil…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 07:07 AM
1

I know a lot of people who don’t want to do first dates if alcohol isn’t involved, because of nerves, but that might be more to do with the local drinking culture than gender politics.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 06:44 AM
1

Number 2 seems really unreasonable. Sure, it would be nice for a man to pay for the babysitter, but it shouldn’t be an expectation. To me that’s like expecting your friends to pay for a babysitter if you want to go out with them. It’s very entitled.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 04:08 PM
7

While you’ve made some good points, people forget that it isn’t just ‘oddball terminally-online’ men who deal with loneliness. Men who would count as ‘normie’s (normal interests, like sports, normal friends) etc can also face loneliness, and often do, they’re just less likely to be posting about it on Reddit. I don’t think teaching people to mask quirks and eccentricities/code-switch (any more than they need to to like, keep a job/keep safe) is good advice if you want to stop people from getting…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 08:57 PM
–

I sent out the psychic signals, the consensus was they already don’t care.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 01:11 PM
–

‘If you all got together and made it culturally acceptable for men to be single, ‘ Hang on, let me just speed dial every other woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 10:19 AM
1

I think the words ‘nice guy’ and ‘friendzone’ are incredibly nebulous and it makes it hard to have any meaningful discussion or debate about it. I think we’re all influenced by our own personal experiences of ‘the friendzone’ and that defines what it means to us. Nice guy/friendzone makes me think of the type of boys/men I’d know when I was younger who obviously just wanted A girlfriend and would try and speedrun a friendship/closeness to get that. They didn’t really care much about who you were…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 07:30 PM
3

I agree, I don’t think it’s productive that any negative sexual experience is classed as sexual assault/ sexual experiences are only allowed to be called negative if you experienced assault. It ends up watering down the term ‘assault’ until it means nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 09:37 PM
2

This can be a bit of semantics game. I’ve always thought coercive meant any type of manipulation but according to the dictionary it’s ‘using force or threats’ so you are correct. I do think there needs to be space to talk about sexual encounters/situations that are manipulative or grey in some way but don’t count as being coercive/assault. People seem to feel the need to label any unhealthy sexual relationship/encounter as assault for it to be a legitimate issue. It makes it difficult to talk ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 09:01 PM
–

I think to be truly entitled to something, you have to be owed that thing by a person, organisation or collective. There has to be a way to (at least theortectically) provide the things we are entitled to, and enforce our rights to things we are entitled to, without trampling on other rights. For example, we are entitled to our wages for what we work. We are entitled to our human rights, we are entitled to a fair trial etc. Our entitlements to things like food, education, shelter etc varies from…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 05:39 PM
–

Notes I don’t find it completely improbable that a disproportionate amount of men/people with that agenda may of taken the survey, as they would have more of a vested interest to do so compared to the rest of the population. Can’t say for certain but it’s a possibility. ‘have you ever pressured or forced someone to have sexual contact’. The people in this sub are probably reading this post quite carefully to avoid looking stupid, but I’m not sure we can gaurentee participants of this study did t…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 05:25 PM
–

I think it’s a little naive not to think there isn’t an incentive for an individual lie about gender/give false results. Within certain spaces there’s a lot of tension between genders and a drive to show one gender is ‘just as bad’ as the other. There’s also a possibility the question was misread. When I first read your post I misread it as people reporting having non consensual sex forced on them, rather than being the perpetrator. Which is a much more common question to get in studies, and I s…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 07:18 AM
1

I don’t think 10 yrs-ish is too crazy between adults (obviously there are exceptions), especially once you’re over say 24/25, you don’t notice the gap as much. but ones with 20 yr + gaps baffle my mind
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 07:00 PM
1

What types of measures where in place in the study to ensure people weren’t lying about their gender if it was an online crowd-sourcing platform?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 05:48 PM
1

I disagree, there is certainly a stereotypical image of an incel, people using the world ‘incel’ as a random insult doesn’t negate that. The stereotype may not be accurate, but the idea of a stereotypical incel certainly exists within the cultural zeitgeist.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 01:30 PM
0

When I said ‘typical incel’ it would of been more accurate for me to say ‘stereotypical incel’ to make my point.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 10:52 AM
0

In terms of what people imagine when they hear the word incel (bitter, lonely young man who spends too much time online, hates women etc) I’d say there’s a fairly typical stereotype of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 09:20 AM
2

Some of those tips read like something out a women’s magazine from the early 2000’s lol. If you want a relationship thats exclusive and that leads to something serious in the future (marriage/etc) I think it’s best to be open about that. Yes, it may scare some men off, but only men who don’t want an exclusive relationship with the aim of a serious future together.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 08:13 AM
3

If you want to avoid dating people based off their sexual experience (or lack of) that’s fine, but it isn’t accurate to assume everyone with the same sexual experience falls into the same narrow personality type and has the same issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 08:08 AM
3

Not every older male virgin fits the profile of a typical ‘incel’. Personality’s don’t just fit into one profile based off sexual experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 07:34 AM
4

It’s a bit of a red flag when people are too pretentious about their music taste and seem to listen certain genres/types purely because they think it makes them intellectually superior somehow. But I guess that’s more about attitude than genuine music taste.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 05:25 PM
6

The Greek Alphabet is like astrology for men
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 02:53 PM
2

Maybe it’s a cultural thing; I have a lot of friends with higher head counts that never had an issue getting a man to commit to them. Perhaps it’s a bigger deal in smaller communities where having a high head count means you’ve slept with half the town and you have a known reputation? One friend who has a particularly high head count does seem to struggle with healthy committed relationships, but not because men don’t want to settle down with her, she just seems to attract men who are really con…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 04:17 PM
1

Ignoring that it increases the chance of attracting a romantic partner, going the gym and doing hobbies you enjoy tend to be net positive anyway and will improve your physical and mental health, and improve your chances of remaining healthy and able for longer, as opposed to being 40 and already getting aches and pains in the morning/struggling with exercise and being at risk of preventable illness.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 08:20 AM
1

One could argue that shame and punishment is prevention. I’ve watched enough exposes on MAP ‘support’ groups and even if they claim to try and prevent attacks on kids through education it seems like they normally just end up being a a front for pedophiles to share data and normalise crimes against kids. Not sure what point you’re trying to make with the heterosexual/homosexual? Even now it is legalised there are still many more heterosexuals than homosexuals. I guess you’re trying to say that mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 06:33 AM
2

I don’t think being against pedophillia is ‘sex negative’. Idk if anyone even watches Law and Order that much anymore and I didn’t realise it was still on. Even if you mandate that the culprits have to be half-and-half men and women on the show, I doubt that will make a difference to how people perceive men as more likely to be criminals, as men still commit a disproportionate amount of crime and we all watch the news.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 07:34 AM
3

I would say posting in this group regularly isn’t a normal thing to do, so there is probably a disproportionate amount of people who are neurodivergent, and people who don’t meet the threshold for neurodivergent are probably still a little bit different in some ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 07:25 AM
2

I think it depends on circumstances, but certainly there are times where a prenup makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 02:59 PM
5

Blue pill isn’t really an ideology though, it’s just ‘not red pill’ (or black pill). Red pill is a pretty specific ideology. There’s going to be huge variations in what people classed as ‘blue pill’ believe, and even overlap with red pill beliefs in some cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 08:12 PM
2

I don’t think human relationships are so black and white that they fall neatly into ‘purely transaction’ or ‘purely love’. There’s lots of grey areas in between. For some people ‘acts of service’ are a way of showing love. In a relationship you tend to look for two things- someone you genuinely love and care for, and someone with whom you can build a life you want with.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 06:07 PM
2

Maybe it’s a bit of a grey area, but I don’t think playing the field is necessarily more immoral than settling down. If you’re young you might not be ready to settle down with one person yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 03:18 PM
2

Yeah, if you’re misleading them about your intentions it’s immoral, if you’re open about what you want I don’t think it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 02:58 PM
1

I don’t understand why acting confident and escalating things sexually is immoral?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 11:06 AM
82

I don’t think being upper middle class counts as average any more (if it ever did). But obviously what counts as ‘average’ for the opposite sex depends massively on your area and socioeconomic status.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 10:32 AM
1

Why post something in a discussion group of you don’t want people to ask relevant questions and discuss? If you don’t enjoy debate, then maybe a sub with debate in the title isn’t for you. Nice is a very nebulous term.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/24 09:25 PM
1

That is correct, relationships have all sorts of dynamics, and having preferences about the type of relationship, security or lifestyle you want isn’t inherently wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/24 03:46 PM
1

Realistically, not every woman is going to be starting her own business or earning crazy high wages, or have the potential to do such. Adults should be realistic about how far their money goes, and if you earn a middling wage (and like a lot of people, are unlikely to be able to earn much higher than that) then you are likely going to need a partner who earns to same as you or more to be able to afford a future together where you can cover things like health insurance, future child-care expenses…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/24 11:00 AM
1

I have very mixed feelings when it comes to vilifying women (esp American women) who want to date men who earn more than them. Seeing how much things like health insurance, medication, even food shopping in a lot of areas costs there, it does make sense that women want men who earn more than them, if they want to plan a future together. There seems to be more US women who want to be SAHM/traditional wives, which would obviously require husbands being higher earners. Even women who want to work, …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/24 07:03 AM
9

I think this is true for a lot of things though, and most people (men and women) are capable of doing terrible things they never thought they would under the right circumstances. Just look at Nazi Germany and the Milgram experiments, or the many cases of people taking part in doing something horrific they never would usually as part of a mob etc. Sure, it’s an uncomfortable truth that a lot of men might do something we would consider morally deplorable under the right circumstances, but I think …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 11:06 AM
-1

Some of it is just short-sighted advise, but something I might think is a factor, at least in spaces like this; A lot of rhetoric from certain men that struggle with dating is; ‘it’s all hypergamy/women’s fault for having impossibly high standards. They only want to date 6’4 underwear models. I have no other issues or limitations that should stop me from dating’. They end up getting advice that assumes they don’t have social issues/limitations.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 07:16 PM
91

What did he do specifically that the girl thought was ‘too nice’ /made her lose interest? This is very vague.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 02:16 PM
1

I’m going to assume you said that because you’re short and ugly with below average IQ. And you weren’t cool in college . its convenient for me to assume that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 04:52 PM
1

I’m going to assume you said that because you’re short and ugly with below average IQ. And you weren’t cool in college . its convenient for me to assume that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 04:52 PM
1

I’m going to assume you said that because you’re short and ugly with below average IQ.. its convenient for me to assume that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 04:51 PM
1

You know, as I was typing out my last response I 100% knew I was going to get the ‘you’re just interpreting it wrong’ comment. I guess just straight-up denying another person’s objective experience is a pretty good way of shutting down any meaningful discussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 04:33 PM
1

I know on this group I see a lot more men doing mental gymnastics to defend bad behaviour of other men: The ‘it’s not an incels fault if he does something violent, women shouldn’t of rejected him’ or ‘it’s okay for men to use any manipulative dating tactic they want because dating is hard, but if women have any sort of game plan they’re a two faced whore.’ Or ‘men who have unprotected sex shouldn’t have to face the consequences of their actions and pay child support’ or ‘any sort of abuse a woma…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 01:10 PM
1

I think most people are slightly biased towards one gender or the other. There are certainly women who are the opposite and always blame other women no matter the situation (think pick-me’s). But on Reddit most women seem to be girl’s girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 08:37 AM
–

I wonder if men don’t stand together as a group because the issues they face are less universal/have less common ground? Or maybe because a lot of the issues I see discussed don’t really have clear actionable solutions, for example; Male Loneliness (different men experience it differently, nobody can agree how to even theoretically solve it), false accusations (not something most men will experience. It’s already illegal but just like actual rape it can be hard to prove definitively), male suici…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 07:05 AM
7

I feel like rage bait can’t be this obvious,
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 07:08 PM
9

Having someone who you know will do anything for you, no matter how degrading or unreasonable, might be a convenient thing to have , but it’s impossible to respect them and so it’s impossible to truly love them. You will resent yourself for treating them so badly and in the end you’ll resent them for letting you, and you’ll take out your own shame on them. You’ll constantly try and find fault in them so you can prove somehow that they’re just as bad, or they deserve the poor treatment. At least …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 04:46 PM
1

Maybe it depends on the area, when I was on dating apps I’d say a good proportion of men met those three criteria. Granted, I’m bad at texting/messaging/speaking non-face-to-face so the bar for ‘normal’ text conversation was probably quite low for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 03:22 PM
–

That’s very reasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 08:24 PM
7

To me that’s like saying people with Higher levels of iron in their blood are closer to being a car than others. Technically true, but so far from reality that it’s kind of irrelevant. My theory is that men in red pill spaces like the idea of women being a hivemind because when you distill dating down to strategies and plans like it’s a video game with women being the objective, it’s comforting to think there’s a correct combination of ‘moves and stats’ that will work on any woman. Pills can be …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 11:11 AM
6

Okay..? And some societies are more collectivist than others, but until the scientists figure out some sort of advanced telekinesis humans can’t be a hivemind. I think men would find women less confusing if they just acknowledged we’re individuals instead of a collective, there’d certainly be less ‘women say they like X, but when I did X to a particular woman she didn’t like it. What rationale explanation to this could there be!?’ There’s generalisation, then there’s treating women (or men) as o…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 10:56 AM
7

Cool, not entirely sure the relevance of that to my comment, but still not a hive mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 10:42 AM
9

Not in any sense. This isn’t a sci fi.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 09:39 AM
8

Neither are a hive mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 09:25 AM
–

‘ Why deal with all the dating drama’ You do you, but everyone I know who regularly used prostitutes ended up in some crazy drama over it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 07:50 AM
26

Maybe YOU don’t hate woman (great) but I’ve spoken to lots of men who do hate women (online, not rlly irl). Like, celebrate when women are killed/fantasising about attacking them level of hate. Most men don’t hate women , sure. But I think most men also don’t feel particularly strongly about ‘getting women to admit their privilege’, not everyone’s topic of interest is gender politics. Just like women, men are not a hive mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 07:43 AM
11

There’s no perfect answer to this, because 1. You can’t force people to date someone they don’t like, so rejection is inevitable for some. And 2. Rejection will always hurt to an extent. Some ways to mitigate the damage is building a full life aside from romantic relationships. Men (and women) who have good connections with friends/family, fulfilling hobbies and a job they semi-enjoy and a sense of purpose in life deal with rejection 10x better than someone who doesn’t have those things. You nee…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 10:36 AM
3

You didn’t mention the most important thing, non-normie women are in high demand as long as they’re over a certain threshold of attractiveness. Or else they just get treated like a walking cringe compilation. Being pretty is obviously important factor for ‘normie’ women too. But I’ve noticed that for girls who are ND, have ‘weird’ hobbies etc, the difference on how they’re treated and perceived based on attractiveness is more stark.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 09:06 AM
1

110% your attraction shifts, types of men I thought where cool when I was 18 seem beyond cringy/exhausting to me now
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 11:20 PM
5

Sure, there are lots of people currently trapped in relationships, and not all of them are romantic relationships. In work I’ve seen adult kids basically trapping their parents, or vice versa. Pretty much any relation. Society has come a long way in combating this compared to years ago, but abusers are often insidious and good at slowly tearing away a person’s means to escape from them. Financial abuse, physical abuse and psychological control seem to still be the main ways people keep others tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 02:27 PM
8

I find the topic of creepy really interesting. It’s interesting to really think about what I find creepy rather than just straight up scary, annoying or intimidating. I think with creepiness there needs to be a bit of uncertainty. Like if someone’s straight up just chasing your down the street or being aggressive then that’s scary, but if they do something weird where the motive isn’t entirely clear, like idk, collecting your fallen hair, or saving your social media pictures in their phone, then…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 01:42 PM
–

So is your point that men aren’t responsible for violent crime as long as they are poor and it’s used to increase their socioeconomic status? You aren’t thinking very creatively, what if the video of the assault was sold on the dark web for profit? Would you forgive the guy who did it to you because he had a hard life?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 09:18 AM
–

‘ The crimes referred to are violent crimes only.’ So by your logic, people aren’t responsible for the violent crimes they commit if they had a hard life? If you were violently raped by a guy would you really think he wasn’t responsible for that if he’d had a sad backstory?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 08:47 AM
1

We aren’t a hive mind. Some women wear makeup completely just for themselves as empowerment, some wear it because they feel ugly without it and won’t leave the house without a full face, some people it’s just a societal expectation, some women do wear it to attract men, some women wear it to impress other women. I think for a lot of women it’s a mix of all of those factors. I don’t wear makeup to attract men, but I don’t wear makeup just around the house and I don’t wear it/wear it minimally whe…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 07:43 AM
–

Maybe you should have a look and see if any research backs your point, there’s been a lot of research on loneliness recently, you might actually find something. There’s also been a lot of research on extended adolescence and people in general meeting normal benchmarks of ‘adulthood’ much later in life. Life is normally more complicated than having one cause or one effect, and we’re all vulnerable to sublimating our own world view onto data.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 08:00 PM
–

What you’ve said about being in a couple might be true for adults, especially as you get past your mid twenties, but the same doesn’t really apply for teens. Teens are in school, and have 10x more time and opportunity to socialise with peers. Most of my friends (male and female) did not properly date or have a serious partner under the age of 17, and you still had a ton of socialisation/friends and experiences. If a 15 yr old didn’t have any friends outside of a single romantic partner that woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 07:35 PM
–

The incel-type groups definitely exaggerate it at times, but there’s a rise in loneliness across everyone; there’s far less community and connections that there used to be and social anxiety is at an all-time high. Things where heading that way anyway and the pandemic turbo-charged it. And if studies are to be believed, young men are especially affected. I just don’t think that not-dating in your teens necessarily means you’re lonely. You can still have a lot of friends and it doesn’t equate for…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 07:13 PM
–

I went on a few dates as a younger teenager and had ‘boyfriends’ (like pre 17) I really didn’t feel ready nor was particularly interested in a romantic relationship. The boys around me seemed similar, even if they wanted to get laid most of them (besides a few who genuinly did want to date) seemed more interested in being dumb with friends than dating. I know previous generations settled down quicker, but non-adult teenagers are still really young, and actually dating does take a certain level o…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 06:02 PM
2

I think it’s okay for someone to have unrealistic standards as long as they’re honest with themselves about how unrealistic they are, and aren’t rude to/about people who don’t meet those unrealistic standards, or feel they are owed a relationship with someone who meets these standards. Unfortunately, most people who have unrealistic standards aren’t aren’t honest with themselves about how unrealistic they are. Even people who say very reasonable things like ‘I just want an average looking man/wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 08:19 AM
0

Idk, I just don’t see it. maybe I’m not sensitive enough. Timid is accurate description for people who are shy. Something insulting like ‘wussy’, ‘wimp’ ‘coward’ or ‘Pansy’ is what I would count as shaming. If someone is objectively timid/shy/bashful/insecure is it shaming to acknowledge that? What words should we use? Is censoring ourself to the point we can’t even acknowledge someone’s personality traits for fear they may feel ‘shamed’ really a good thing? It really seems like you’re projectin…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 03:33 PM
1

I don’t want to minimise the work of a sahp but employed work isn’t always easy either. Some highlights from my previous jo - Being responsible for the lives of 14 men with complex mental health and often co-morbid physical health issues. Doing an allocation where you have three less staff members than you should do, and balance covering all the observations/tasks while also somehow giving everyone (else besides you) a break. Doing three meds rounds a shift and keeping your concentration while y…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 02:41 PM
0

Depends on the job the breadwinner is working tbh. I don’t think a nice cushy office job can compare to someone who’s working in a hospital or like a Mine shaft or a prison or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 02:07 PM
8

Whoever you want to date is up to. But you should be open to the idea that the autistic boys you met at your school aren’t representative of autistic men everywhere. Autism is a really wide spectrum and if you went to a special school, they might of had higher needs than those who could manage in mainstream school. I have met such a wide range of autistic people over the years, from very highly successful people, people who make great friends to people who have more needs and have been instituti…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 07:11 AM
1

I didn’t really agree with everything in that article, but it didn’t seem particularly like it was ‘shaming’. That’s a bit extreme. Is saying you prefer the opposite sex to be more assertive in the dating scene really ‘shaming’ them? What she’s wrote is no more extreme than your OP. Most women prefer men who are assertive enough to hold a conversation. Is that preference shaming men? I know the issue is over and I’m being pedantic, but I do think too much hyperbole gets used too much on this sub…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 07:02 AM
4

I didn’t mean the action of approaching men is absurd, I meant the assumption that the men who don’t talk to me secretly want me is absurd. I think maybe when you want to discuss things you should be more clear about what exactly you mean, because if felt like you were talking about at least three different things at once. If this discussion is about rigid gender roles then I don’t know why you made the implication that women are ‘shaming’ men by not going for shy guys/approaching first. Men app…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 08:53 PM
–

BoJack Horseman?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 04:42 PM
2

When you are entitled to something, it is owed to you by someone (or a group of people) specifically. Ie, you are entitled to your wages from the company you work for. You could be entitled for compensation from the truck driver who ran over your foot (or something. You are entitled to have your human rights upheld from everyone. Unless there is a clear people or group of people who you can identify as owing you that specific thing, I don’t think you can actually be entitled to it. That’s why I …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 04:35 PM
6

Okay, I feel like you’re making two different points. Have more empathy for men who struggle approaching women, this I can get behind. Be supportive and not dismissive towards men in your life (friends, relatives, coworkers) who struggle with this. Be nice/respectful towards men who work up the courage to cold approach (providing they are too) even if you’re turning them down. Don’t be judgemental/rude if a man who is speaking to you is nervous, that’s all stuff I agree with. But approaching men…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 04:31 PM
28

The logic here is weird, I’m not so conceited to think that men who aren’t even speaking to me secretly want to approach me but lack confidence. Is it really ‘lacking empathy’ to not assume men who haven’t even spoken to you are secretly pining for you? I get it’s difficult to approach, but lots of men can do it and make their interest very clear. Of course a man who can come over and have banter with you is going to have more of a chance than a man who has never spoke to you (who might be too s…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 06:48 AM
1

If they took the laptop into the shower that would be weird, but otherwise who cares?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 06:46 AM
29

Yes, those Women’s literotica protagonists with their asshole billionaire boyfriends deserve no sympathy. She should of known it was a red flag when he disclosed that he was a vampire/fallen Angel/werewolf
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 06:50 PM
–

Yeah I mean, anyone who doesn’t use protection appropriately is careless. Especially with one night stands.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 06:03 PM
–

I mean it seems like you understand the dynamics pretty well, you just don’t like it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 04:27 PM
2

This is kind of a catch 22, because yes I would agree that men who are outside the norm in ways that are deemed undesirable often have to quash their individuality and conform to be successful dating, I don’t know how that could be rectified without enforcing women to conform to an idea of equal dating that might go against their actual preferences. I think society as a whole should be less punishing and more accepting towards people who are ~different~ in ways that might make people uncomfortab…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 03:28 PM
2

In Spain the locals (at least the younger people, like in their 20’s) always seem really good looking. I don’t think the Spanish are particularly superficial though. I think being tan, in great shape and having great hair is just the norm for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 09:54 PM
14

From working (through my job) with people who have reported sexual assault (or domestic assault tbh) to the police, nothing ever really seems to happen. And in a lot of cases, the the women (or sometimes men) aren’t treated very well by police because they aren’t ‘good victims’ (Mental health issues, drug and alcohol problems etc) they’re treated like trouble makers, or like they’re automatically lying or brought it on themselves. I’ve even had times where the woman had very clear injuries, but …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 08:09 AM
1

This is a difficult one, most men I know irl (friends, work colleagues, boyfriend’s friends, brother’s friends) are pretty much all either in, or have been in relationships and had at least a few one night stands (if we’re close enough to talk about that/I hear it second hand). A few of them have been in LTR since they where like, 17, so it makes it difficult to say how many options they’d have outside of that. Based purely of my irl experience it would probably be like 70%. But then I’m also aw…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 11:34 PM
1

Obviously the person in the relationship who cheated is most to blame, but I do find people who continually to specifically pursue people in a relationship to be bad people, and knowingly engaging in cheating is still bad, even if you’re not in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 04:50 PM
–

The thing is for me, I prefer the look and feel of being shaved, but it’s completely unrealistic and unhealthy to maintain that daily. I wish I could just let it grow without being a role model, or an unintentional political statement. In my ideal world it would just be hair, and even if people found it unattractive it wouldn’t be a big deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 03:41 PM
–

I don’t expect people to find body hair attractive, but it is exhausting that you can’t take a break from shaving without it being a political statement. I’m lucky I live in a country cold enough that I don’t wear sleeveless tops often, so the pressure isn’t too bad lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 08:47 AM
–

Maybe take a small dose of a second-generation antipsychotic every night and see if you still feel and think the same way.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 06:54 PM
–

I saw Ashton Kucher on the beach the other day, swear it was him
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 05:11 PM
2

It makes me cringe a little when people constantly say they look like a teenager when they’re 25+, esp when they usually don’t, even if they look young for their age. Maybe all the teenagers on TV/movies being played by 19+ yr olds distorts peoples perception of what a teenager looks like. I still get ID’d for energy drinks/paracetamol occasionally when I haven’t been 16 for a long time and usually ID’d for buying alcohol, and they’ve never said no when I ask for a 16-18 train ticket etc but I t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 07:11 PM
0

People tend to bring up a lot of irrelevant stuff on this sub as a gotcha. If I’m pedantic so I usually say when I can’t see the relevance of something if they respond to one of my points with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 06:52 AM
7

It’s relevant in a lot of the conversations had here, obviously some people bring it up as a ‘gotcha’ but sexual assault/fear of does have an impact on male/female relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 07:37 PM
1

Normally it’s in his manifesto/internet history
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 06:32 AM
1

I’m not talking about other types of violence, I’m talking specifically about acts of violence motivated at least in part by hatred of the opposite sex (you know, ER et al- obvs that’s an extreme example, )
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 08:47 PM
–

Would men want to have sex for pleasure in this world? If they still did, if there wasn’t a way to enforce ‘no means no’ so sexual assault rates would probably go up. If there was really no way for men to have sex with women outside of procreating we’d probably all have really big families, and I think more men would have casual sex with other men.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 09:19 PM
3

I guess men who hate women are more likely to be violent towards them, or at least there are much more cases of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 09:12 PM
3

Gimmie some of that executive function bro. Living with someone else means you only have to cook half the amount of time, go shopping half the amount of time, and you have someone to help you with general life admin stuff when you’re caught up in work.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 04:42 PM
2

We’re a 50/50 split, but most of my friends end up doing much more so I think we’re an anomaly
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 04:39 PM
46

It probably is a little bit of both. But couples definitely have an advantage in terms of managing life, it’s really hard to live by yourself and keep on top of things like shopping, housework, etc to an adequate degree whilst working full-time. Even in a lot of modern relationships, women seem to do more housework, so a man who is stressing less about life-admin is going to have an advantage at work.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 08:08 AM
4

One theory could be that he’s used to more overt attention from certain women, he assumes the women he’s attracted to aren’t interested in him, when really they just don’t want to be obvious. Or Maybe he has some social issues, or maybe he’s asexual or afraid of dating so he sets impossible standards so he doesn’t have to admit it’s intimacy he’s afraid of. In some ways It’s more socially acceptable to say that you can’t get a date than to admit that you don’t want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 10:45 PM
3

I would actually say individuals who are most vehemently against age-gaps (even gaps that aren’t that big) seem to be younger women (not all younger women, but the ones who are most militant about it seem to be in that category). Like the ones who argue a 22 yr old with a 27 yr old is grooming. I think there’s a subset of women (and pros men) in their early twenties who haven’t accepted they are adults. Parents of younger women probably have an issue with actual older men dating their younger da…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 07:26 AM
–

Yeah, being avoidant and not making the first move definitely seems to be the lesser of two evils when compared to people who become violent/hostile when rejected.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 04:28 PM
–

I mean it’s a difficult thing to get accurate data on; what gender gets more emotionally upset from rejection. It’d be interesting if there are any studies on it. I do see news stories about men becoming violent/aggressive following a rejection maybe twice a month (I’m not looking for those stories) I definitely haven’t seen the same volume for women
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 08:15 AM
15

I would say most women and most humans struggle with rejection. Women (in general) tend to deal with it by being avoidant (ie, letting the man make the first move etc). Most men can deal with rejection reasonably well in my experience but there are a significant amount who become overtly hostile/aggressive or literally don’t take no for an answer. I know women could do that as well but I haven’t really seen it anywhere near as much.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 04:23 PM
0

I could climb much higher up a tree than the man because I’m lighter so I’d pick him.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 06:58 PM
–

‘I came up with a hypothetical scenario and used it to unnecessarily insult my ‘friend’ on a very personal level and she didn’t respond with feverant agreement. She is clearly very manipulative and I am clearly very logical and it isn’t at all worrying that I see this behaviour as both normal and morally correct.’
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 02:46 PM
1

I do care about feeling feminine, but I can’t tell if that’s a natural inner feeling or something imposed on my by society lol
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 03:25 PM
–

I’ve seen some other posts by OP I think you’re giving him too much credit.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 07:40 AM
–

I think that’s normally said in response to ‘the courts favour the women’. Obviously prolonged custody battles aren’t good for anyone, but there is a belief that there’s no point going to court because they’ll always award custody to the woman. But the evidence doesn’t support that.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/24 07:54 AM
4

I really doubt there’s any statistic that says Gay men live on average, longer than Straight Women.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 07:09 AM
–

Most of my friends are younger than 30s but I do have some that age or older. The variation of head count between women, even who are a similar appearance level, ‘status’ etc is much bigger than you would think, to the point its difficult to come up with an average.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 07:09 AM
8

Is it really a privilege to have so many women wearing makeup that it raises what’s considered normal/average to the point wearing makeup daily is something you feel expected to do even if it’s a lot of work sometimes, and you don’t feel confident enough to go without it until you’re in your mid twenties?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 09:04 PM
1

You don’t need to be, and we certainly have more options now, and some people may be happy with a long-term fwb relationship, but I don’t think most people will as they get older. When most people love someone they want to eventually live together and build a life together. When you have more life responsibilities as you get older things are infinitely easier when you live with a partner. I think the idea of long-term FWB sounds more attractive when you’re in your early twenties but a lot of us …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 05:15 PM
2

I think a lot of people approach dating like we’re all going to be in our twenties forever, that set-up might be okay when you’re younger but a lot of people would find that limiting as they got older and wanted to set down roots. Plus, who can afford to live alone these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 04:58 PM
11

People are irrational and hypocritical. A lot of people don’t want to commit to someone but still don’t want to see that person with anybody else. Like a kid who isn’t that interested in a toy but won’t let anyone else have it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 04:57 PM
–

I always find it really weird how many men who have never been in a war, in the army, or really done anything towards protection or betterment of society use ‘the draft’ as an argument, when it hasn’t been about for three/four generations in most western countries. Also logistically speaking, they can’t put every single person on the front line.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 04:50 PM
1

Yep, You’ll probably get more relevant discussions now you’ve taken out that comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 06:04 PM
13

Just because ‘just as many’ women have used dating apps at some point in their life as men doesn’t mean there aren’t more active male users. 75% of Tinder users are male.24% of Tinder users are female. https://roast.dating/blog/tinder-statistics#:~:text=75%25%20of%20Tinder%20users%20are%20male.,of%20Tinder%20users%20are%20female. Most female friends I have my age have used Tinder at least once but very few used it for long periods of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 05:57 PM
3

This is a global group, even those most of the members are predominantly in the west, there’s going to be big differences in terms of the dating scene. Anecdotally, people who live in big cities where there are literally endless options seem to report having the hardest time getting people to commit to them. Individual factors matter as well. Certain women have an easier time getting commitment than others, either because they are more intuitive at finding men likely to commit or other factors.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 05:08 PM
1

Definitely a woman, men usually say they’re too ‘nice’, too ‘intelligent‘ or too ‘misunderstood’ if they have cognitive dissonance about why their relationships fail.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 03:42 PM
8

It’s sounds like they where coming to you for sex, not conversation, maybe they got bored when that wasn’t on the table anymore? Sucks, but it happens to both sexes.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 07:17 AM
-2

Regardless of if she did it, it’s evidence that adultery was considered a big deal back then if being accused of it was one of the reasons they used to execute her.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 05:31 PM
14

Weren’t the tudors like 500ish years ago? Henry the 8th.. had to change the religion of the whole country to get a divorce… beheaded two of his wives for suspected adultery (among other things). Even for non royals, there’s plenty of stories of husbands/wives dying by mysteriously falling down the stairs back then because divorce was difficult to do. Maybe it was different for the peasants but the Tudor times had a lot more beaurcracy than you would think for being so long ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 05:02 PM
3

Posts written by a Bird-Of-Paradise
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 09:41 AM
3

When it comes to marriage/being in a committed relationship I really think this depends on age, when I was last OLD in late teens/early 20a I really doubt the men I met where married, most of them lived with flatmates or their Mum. But one of my friends who’s 35ish and OLD has had this issue a few times.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 09:28 AM
2

I think it’s hyperbole.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 09:22 AM
–

I don’t think entitlement is a bad thing by itself. There are things we are entitled to; wages for work, products we have paid for etc. I think it’s only bad when people feel entitled to things they shouldn’t. Being entitled means feeling you are owed something. If you approach a woman fully accepting she may reject or ignore you, I don’t think that’s entitled.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 09:20 AM
–

I feel like this is just going to be a debate about semantics. I don’t think cold approaching someone is entitlement unless you think you’re entitled to a response. You aren’t feeling like they owe you anything. You’re just talking to another human, I really don’t think that’s being entitled, even if there is a chance you’re bothering them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 08:54 AM
–

I’m going to make this about semantics, while I think cold approaching is fine (obviously as long as you’re not threatening, abusive, whatever), I don’t think it should be done with the mindset that you’re entitled to this woman’s attention; You cannot predict how a stranger will react to you. Some women might just straight up ignore you, and that’s a risk you take cold approaching. For Men who have the mind-set they’re entitled to her attention, it isn’t just an awkward interaction, the woman i…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 08:10 AM
12

Unlike a lot of things, love and relationships can be really inconsistent and confusing. We can make generalisations, but there’s not really once specific thing we can do to guarantee success. It can make people more comfortable to subscribe to a Pill Theory and have a bit more of a guideline about how to behave to be successful romantically. In the past, the etiquette around dating (or courting) was more rigid and clear (about how to ask a girl out, what type of places to go on a first date etc…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 02:34 PM
3

I’ve never met a young Bernie. They’re are’t bestowed the name till they hit 60
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 08:40 PM
1

Bernie’s parents gaurenteed he wouldn’t be popular in highschool by naming him Bernie so he should blame them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 06:38 PM
6

While I do think it can be beneficial to date a partner who holds you accountable for things, wants you to succeed and can be honest/realistic with you when you’re making unwise choices, you can do all those things and still accept the person for who they are
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 01:04 PM
1

A drawing is a drawing
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 02:27 PM
3

If you still have some basic recognition their humanity and autonomy outside what you want from them then you aren’t objectifying them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 01:57 PM
2

You can approach someone just for sex, you can go to a mechanic just for an oil change. You might not care about much else about the person besides what you’re getting from them; But if you’re a half-decent person, you don’t completely forget that they’re also a human too. If I dropped off my car and the mechanic said he couldn’t work on it today because he’s just got a call his wife is in the hospital or something, I wouldn’t then demand he works on my car because the service he can provide to …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 07:09 AM
–

Think it depends on your specific symptoms of autism, and other co-morbid traits, not everyone with autism is a hyper competent genius/savant type
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 04:35 PM
–

Politics aside, statistically speaking, If men in Korea earn on average 31% more than women, how could the low birth rates be because women are earning more than men?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 12:14 PM
–

Doesn’t S. Korea have one of the biggest wage gaps in the first world though?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 11:57 AM
–

The disparity between the lifestyle you can have with compared to without kids is a lot bigger than it was compared to previous generations. Most average people can’t run a family on one income, but then obviously, child-care is extremely expensive, so unless you have a lot of support raising kids in this day and age is extremely difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 11:52 AM
–

Sure, I, like a lot of people could technically afford kids now, but the disparity between the quality of life you can afford with them compared to without is incomparable. And I’m lucky enough to live in a country with fairly decent maternity time at least. We live in a time when most people can’t raise a kid on a single income but also daycare is incredibly expensive, and older adults are working till later in life so there’s less chance of grandparents being able to mind them.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 07:39 AM
–

I think the media is trying to twist this into a men Vs women issue, when really I think the current state of the economy is a bigger factor. For most middle/working class people having one kid is going to tank their resources. Most people are stuck in a situation where they both can’t afford not to have both parents working and also can’t afford daycare. In general, there is less community so raising a kid can be a lot more isolating. (maybe in Korea it really is because they’re sick of men, be…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 07:19 AM
20

Obviously you do you, but autism is a really wide spectrum. I’ve met autistic men like you’ve described, I’ve also met some who are incredibly kind, and if anything overly considerate. If you went to a school specifically for autism then maybe the boys you where around had more prominent difficulties and symptoms than those who could manage in main-stream schools.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/24 07:07 PM
–

I don’t think it’s really a black and white issue. There are lots of age-gap relationships that are normal and healthy, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t others that actually DO have some of the issues you’ve listed (namely, they get with younger women because they are easier to manipulate). There’s all different shades of grey and dynamics when it comes to age gaps. I’ve seen plenty of healthy age-gap relationships, even between couples where the man pursues younger women because he’s immature…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/24 08:39 AM
1

If hypergamy is real I think disparity would be a bigger contributor than poverty or wealth alone. Places with both extreme wealth and poverty seem like they would lead to an environment where greater incentive to seek how ‘high status’ partners
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 05:27 PM
2

I mean obviously it would depend on the guy’s personality but in general I prefer people who are slightly more social than I am, so we might not be a good match.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 06:31 PM
2

But like literally no friends? Not even a couple from highschool that he goes the gym with or plays video games with?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 06:27 PM
–

It’s really hard to say, the first guy potentially because we’re closer in age, and I do value physical fitness at least. The social status part confuses me though. It’s not something I’ve really seen outside of highschool and like, social media circles. Does no social status mean no friends because that’s kind of a red flag (not that he’s ~dangerous~ or bad, but that he’s got some sort of social or attachment issues)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 05:36 PM
1

I’m not sure what the point of this post is, even if you specifically have that experience most women haven’t. I don’t think short men are less popular because every woman got rejected by a short man in middle school and it became a core memory.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 09:13 PM
1

Maybe I’m an over thinker but questions like this are so hard to answer because it’s difficult to ever imagine that happening in real life. To get the IQ number everyone would have to do a standardised test, which I guess would be part of getting your drivers license. Would the number of people getting drivers licences go down due to anxieties around the IQ test and getting a bad score on your record? If IQ became like a social status thing, would there be an uptick in driving lisence fraud. Cou…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 07:17 PM
4

Men and women should be equal in terms of value (ie, societies where women’s testimony is worth half a man’s/where it is legal to pay women less are wrong). But obviously there are differences in terms of our abilities (in general) and to some extent roles in society. And it can be detrimental to both genders to pretend we are capable of doing everything that the other can.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 01:44 PM
8

There’s a vicious cycle when all the women around you wear makeup every day, that level of beauty becomes the norm, and not wearing it (even if your skin is normal) makes you feel tired/bland/ etc. it’s only recently in the last year I’ve felt comfortable enough not to wear makeup every day for work, but there’s no way I could of done that when I was younger and more insecure. I still like putting makeup on to go out though, but that’s more for me, like you said men don’t typically like heavy ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 08:08 AM
1

I don’t think it’s a black and white issue. Some allegations seem to have a lot of good/consistent evidence, others have a lot of contradictions. Obviously without being involved there’s no way 100% to know what’s true, but you’re never going to get the truth if you automatically assume anyone who accuses a powerful person is lying without looking at the inidividual evidence. Don’t forget, some people pursue power specifically so it is easier to abuse and use others.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 06:49 AM
1

Not sure they have specific stats on that type of stuff, this is from my experience working in the community, but you can check; Women who are visibly disabled (physically and/or mentally), women who have an obvious mental health issue, women who are already engaged in sex work, women who’s place in society is more unstable (ie, illegal immigrant, incredibly poor), women with limited recourses to report crime, women with drug/alcohol issues who are unlikely to be believed anyway. Also I typed al…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 10:22 PM
3

I guess it makes sense that a sci-fi problem would need a sci-fi solution. If things got so advanced in the future I’m sure extending the fertility window would also be possible (at least as possible as living to 200)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 09:17 PM
1

Not sure the relevance of that, I never mentioned that women where particularly wary of ‘lonely’ kids, I don’t think any of the precautions I mentioned (like covering drinks, meeting in public for dates etc) exclude lonely people at all? Unless you’re implying that women should let lonely men spike them or something?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 08:49 PM
1

I think it’s about being assertive. You can be a nice person without being a doormat. Some things to avoid if you don’t want to be seen as ‘too nice’ (or weak) - Never disagreeing with peoples opinions. - Agreeing with even obviously unreasonable requests. - Never criticising/disagreeing with people even if they deserve it. - Over Apologising even when you’ve done nothing wrong. - Needing way too much reassurance/validation over basic things (ie, constantly asking ‘is this okay’ ‘do you mind’ ‘a…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 04:26 PM
3

I’m sure the Greeks/Romans used to think that (like it’s not gay if you’re the one penetrating type of logic)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 04:11 PM
10

The title is just ‘ Women can be used for their bodies. Men cannot.’ Doesn’t specify anything about heterosexual sex. Even if you only want it to be about heterosexual sex, if you want your words to actually be applicable to real life then you can just ignore that homosexual sex is a thing. And that even a straight man might be used for that (ie, if he wanted drugs or something or even a SA scenario) Wouldn’t a more accurate title (if we’re following your logic) be Only Men can use others for th…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 04:10 PM
5

What about gay men?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 03:24 PM
1

You can still be entitled to alimony even with a prenup if you can demonstrate that you’ve sacrificed your own career for the sake of your partner/family. But I don’t think a prenup is the worst idea in the world if there is a especially if there is a wealth disparity between partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 02:28 PM
12

Is anyone really surprised?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 01:28 PM
0

I’d be surprised if video-porn gets more popular with women than erotic literature, even if it’s made for them
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 04:05 PM
4

Depends on what job specifically the sole provider does, some jobs are basically social clubs where you make the occasional power point, others are super stressful and/or physically demanding. Also Depends if the sole provider is working a job they actually like and/or are passionate about. If the sole provider is working a job they hate with people they hate that is extremely emotionally and physically taxing I’d say they have it worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/24 08:25 AM
34

I mean it sounds like you’ve based this whole theory on your own experience, and not to get personal but I wouldn’t say being in the avoidant ‘leave them before they leave me’ mindset is growth, it’s a sign of abandonment issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/24 07:44 AM
2

I mean that’s kind of subjective. We aren’t running around terrified of men here, but we do take precautions like covering drinks/not leaving them unattended, most women I know would avoid walking alone at night if possible, meeting a man somewhere public for a first date, making sure all you’re friends get home safe when you go out, etc Most women have at least been groped inappropriately a few times by strangers, sure that’s not a serious sexual assault but most women will have at least a few …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/24 07:41 AM
8

How valid are womens fears of men? This question is pretty subjective, the risk varies massively depending where you live and who you are. Some women are more vulnerable than others or more likely to be targeted.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 11:12 PM
3

I didn’t realise being a man meant being a hive mind and you are aware of what every other man thinks and experiences. Again, if you think you can just impose your own experiences, thoughts, values onto every situation you’re going to end up in an echo chamber. You are not a psychic. They where not confused, they knew what I wanted was to pay. They thought that was implying they where broke or unable to take care of the situation, the same way if you offer to carry a bag for certain men they thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 09:00 PM
2

What makes you think they where ‘confused’. Where you there? Why would you think you have a better understanding of a specific situation than the person who was actually there and saw these men’s reactions? They where not confused. I’m not saying this to be difficult, but I think you really need to reflect on the rationality of imposing your own pre-determined world view of ‘how men and women are’ onto specific situations events you were not part of and weren’t there for. You’re setting yourself…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 08:52 PM
2

I get the vibe they think I’m calling them broke, or implying they can’t take care of things when I really insist on paying half, it’s a similar reaction if you offer to help a man carry something, I think some men find it patronising.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 08:31 PM
–

Historically and currently, making babies is a lot more risky for women, so maybe that’s why women are naturally more picky.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 06:16 PM
3

Some men get really offended if you try to pay. I guess you could say it’s a cycle then.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 02:45 PM
20

I think when your experience is every man you’ve dated has always offered to pay, it can feel like someone isn’t really interested in you if they don’t. Which isn’t exactly egalitarian or fair, I know. That said, I think you should always offer to and be willing to pay half, and probably actually should pay half if you don’t want to see him again.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 08:36 AM
1

You also have to have a certain level of charisma to be popular as an asshole. You can be quiet, shy, a-social and still be an asshole but probably won’t get the same results as an extravert.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 04:46 PM
1

‘Firstly, I want to note it's wrong to equite being entitled to somwthing to a human right. They dint mean the same thing especially in this conversation. I think it's fair to be entitled to affordable housing even though it is not technically a right’ Entitled doesn’t necessarily have to be a HUMAN right, it could be another legal right or something you legally own or are owed- From the dictionary, Entitled means ‘entitled. 1. : having a right to certain benefits or privileges’. https://www.mer…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 06:56 AM
1

Again, marriage has never ever been about getting everyone in society a partner so they ‘can be happy’. if you read recent history books (ie, 100-200 yrs ago) there is always plenty of references of people being too poor to marry, or too poor to have any partner of the opposite sex (not even prostitutes). (Again, if you want specific example read down and Out in Paris and London). There have always been elements of ableism and classism when it comes to marriage (at least as far as recorded histo…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 06:14 PM
7

I mean regardless of all that, my only real point was that OP was wrong that women don’t get ‘social consequences’ for not shaving their armpits. I’m not 100% on board with your theory that it’s just about socially-enforced cleanliness. Growing out arm-pit hair is definitely more stigmatised than other things seen as ‘unclean’, like having greasy hair, dirty nails or even having stains on your clothes gets less of a negative reaction. People might think it’s gross but they don’t get as angry and…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 04:10 PM
1

I think I might of seen like two TikTok’s making fun of women who try too hard to be low maintenance but nothing else really
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 03:47 PM
5

I live in a place where it’s only warm enough to go without sleeves maybe 2 months out of the year and not every day of those months, so if you’re wearing a spaghetti straps you’re a) at the gym, b) You’re on a night out/event and wearing a nice top/dress. I don’t always shave, and I’m sure lots of other women don’t every day, but it’s rare not to wear at least short sleeves. So maybe that makes the place I come from more judgemental about women’s arm-pit hair than warmer countries where you’re …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 03:32 PM
16

depends on how fast your hair grows as to how long you can go without shaving before it’s controversial. Also I mentioned this to a previous commentator but we are likely living in different countries/cultures and there can be slight differences in what’s seen as a cultural taboo, so I’m open to the idea there might be some other places in the west where it’s slightly more acceptable. Talking about shaving arm-pits has made me think of more related stories. When I was in uni the local swimming p…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 02:08 PM
2

Friendzone can mean a lot of different types of relationships. ‘Let’s just be friends’ or ‘I don’t want to ruin our friendship’ was seen as a nicer/softer/easier way to reject people when I was in highschool and the person being rejected was in the same circle so you’d still have to interact. Even if those two people where never really proper friends. I understand there’s ‘Friendzoning’ where (usually) the woman is aware that the man likes her and uses this to her advantage without ever wanting …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 11:04 AM
2

I’m not sure how bad it is in general to be compared to her Dad, but if it’s worrying you enough that you’re making several concurrent posts about it on Purple Pill then maybe it’s a sign of a deeper issue that the two of you need to address, it’s clearly bothering you a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 10:36 AM
14

I mean, we probably come from two different countries with slightly different cultures but the social consequences for not shaving your armpits are very explicit here. Again, some man tried to fight that acquaintance over her having hairy armpits (something, something if you want to look like a man I can hit you like one), and several other people made comments or tried to debate her on it even the less aggressive people where like ‘it’s up to you but I think it’s disgusting’ or you know, asking…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 10:11 AM
75

Something something they’re hypocrites, but one point I disagree on is; ‘ not as acceptable to subject women to social/professional consequences for not grooming their visible body hair(especially armpit hair)?’ I’ve never worked anywhere where I don’t wear sleeves so I can’t speak to professional consequences, but damn are there social consequences if a woman doesn’t shave her arm-pits. If a man doesn’t shave his stubble maybe people will think he’s having a lazy day. If you go out with unshave…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 09:54 AM
1

The fact marriage has certain legal rules is irrelevant to the question of ‘if relationships are an entitlement how would you enforce them for everyone?’ Marriage has been used to offer both protections legal protections/recognition as a couple etc, but it has literally never, ever been used to ‘ensure everyone is happy in their love life and nobody gets left out’. That’s completely absurd. If anything marriage historically was the opposite because it favoured the rich. In recent history books (…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 09:42 AM
3

I’m not saying this to be mean, but you’ve used a lot of words to say a lot of nothing. The word entitled has a clear definition, what is the point of using it if you aren’t going to use it’s literal definition? Why not use another more appropriate word? Again, you are unable to explain how, if love/a relationship something we are entitled to then how SPECIFICALLY would we be able to enforce it? You have vaguely implied that ‘the people’ could enforce it, but of course this would be impossible t…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 10:35 PM
4

‘ let's say, are things that people are entitled too in virtue of being human.’ If Love/Relationships is something everyone is entitled how could we go about making sure everyone receives it? This sounds like I’m being pedantic, but words we use are important. If it is something we are entitled to that means the Government and Society should work towards enforcing that we get that resource. We are entitled to clean water. There are fines and legal recourse if companies pollute the waters (at lea…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 09:51 PM
10

‘The only logical conclusion is that men are largely responding naturally.’
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 09:08 PM
60

So based off what you’re saying, If men’s ‘natural’ response to rejection is to act hostile and then shirk blame for their actions by blaming women for being ‘entitled’ then isn’t it best for women to continue to use fake numbers and pretend boyfriends to avoid this outcome?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 07:14 PM
12

‘Entitled to’ and ‘Deserve’ are two very different things. If I say someone is entitled to something, or should be (ie, I think everyone should be entitled to clean water, etc) Its something I think we as a society should work towards providing and have a duty to provide. I don’t think there is any way that the Government can provide you with a loving relationship. Love is unfortunately not a resource that can be given like water, shelter, food. You can deserve a relationship and deserve to be h…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 06:12 PM
1

Is this really a thing people believe? Reddit is a huge website so anyone with half a brain-cell would know that there are going to be users with a wide range of incomes and financial situations.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 12:16 AM
0

The people I work with are definitely more strongly affected than those I know socially but they’re still verbal, most can live fairly independently, I can’t think of any of them that have or would likely be able to get jobs, so they could probably take part in a study (Unless there co-morbid smi rules them out). I am not 100% sure on who fits into what category when it comes to autism. But I get that it’s a pretty wide spectrum.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 12:14 AM
1

Yep, it is a huge spectrum. The autistic people I know socially are completely different in terms of life-style and functioning than autistic people who I work with as patients who tend to have co-morbid smi and/or mild LD. When I see studies like this I tend to assume the participants are more like the autistic people I know socially, who have social struggles but sort of know they do even if they’re not sure how to remedy it. But yeah I probably should of done more research into who exactly th…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/24 11:03 PM
7

Not sure if ‘helpful’ is the most appropriate word, I was just stating the findings of the study. Even if Autistic people understanding/liking other autistic people better doesn’t necessarily translate to romantic success it might be relevant info for someone looking for like-minded friends or who struggles with feeling alienated in more NT circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/24 10:04 PM
53

I’m not sure if you mentioned it in your post because I started skim reading, but there is a study that shows neurotypical people are more likely to instantly dislike autistic people even if they don’t do anything ‘wrong’. I guess one positive is that other people with autism where shown to understand and like each other better.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/24 03:56 PM
2

Worked with a guy who was nearing 60 and definitely loved that type of lifestyle, he was still good looking. Seemed to pull mostly women in early middle age. He used to stay late at work all the time because he didn’t really have much to go home to he said, he did get married but it didn’t last very long. But I’m not sure if someone with his personality would of been fufilled in or well suited to a ltr anyway, so maybe this was the best life for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 05:35 PM
3

This is the type of thing you read in someone’s manifesto to justify some really fucked up shit lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 09:05 PM
4

Unfortunately, our appearance, race, gender and identity will always colour how others perceive us. I could do the same action as someone else and it be perceived a completely different way. Something that make a man seem authoritative and a good leader could be perceived as bitchy when a woman does it. Looks is a big one. Good-looking people generally have their actions interpreted more favourably than ugly people. The life skills you need to adapt to life can vary depending on how you’re perce…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 12:09 PM
1

I know a lot of older people that where chronically unfaithful throughout their marriages, I don’t think polyamory is perfect but I do have more respect for someone who is honest that a cheat, even if the lifestyle isn’t for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 05:40 PM
6

I’d say anyone who hasn’t experienced some form of weaponised incompetence either at work or with flatmates or in a family is really lucky.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 12:56 PM
1

There’s a lot to unpick here. But EQ isn’t a new term culturally, it’s from the eighties, possibly 70’s. Unless you think the Walkman is still new-fangled technology. The rest of this just reads like rage-bait, but maybe I’m giving you too much credit.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 08:01 AM
5

Sometimes you have to be a hypocrite. In relationships you pursue a person you want, your preferences aren’t always going to be fair and rationale. That said, experienced men who are rude towards equally experienced women are definitely assholes.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 06:52 PM
2

We all have a line we have to walk to be deemed acceptable by society. It isn’t just men who enforce expectations of presenting feminine, other women do too. If you want a male version; men are encouraged to be in touch with their emotions (but with the caveat being don’t be too weak/insecure, don’t cry unless somebody died). There’s millions of little hidden rules and some of us are better at naturally conforming to gender standards than others. It comes so naturally to some of us that you don’…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 07:52 AM
3

Yep, but not everyone can be physically attractive or wants to/finds it easy to conform to femininity standards, and it isn’t just potential romantic partners that expect a certain level of beauty from you. So I sympathise with people who struggle with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 07:42 AM
16

Of course every man wants something slightly different. But when it comes to masculine traits in women, there’s usually a silent caveat afterwards. Like you can have masculine interests and tastes as long as you’re not too passionate about them and as long as you can still LOOK pretty/feminine. Even aside from romantic partners, almost everyone in society has expectations for you to upkeep a certain level of femininity in order to be respected and be seen as normal. Society and especially men ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 08:37 PM
1

My partner and I can have a much better quality of life at 50/50 compared to 80/20. Personally while I like men paying for first dates when I was in 20/80 or 10/90 relationships in the past I actually felt a bit uncomfortable and like there was a power imbalance.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 06:59 PM
1

Yeah it is a bit weird like
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 06:38 PM
1

I would argue with accessibility and less expectations on how life should be lived it’s actually a lot less counter-cultural these days, but I feel like that could be a very tedious debate if we where to properly get into it
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 01:39 PM
2

Sure it’s a bit political, probably less so than when men did the same thing hundreds of years ago. It’s probably similar to like, political lesbians or maybe people in the 90s who chose to cohabit but not marry. But comparing it to Woodstock is pretty crazy and shows a sad understanding of what Woodstock is actually about.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 10:06 AM
2

So from what you’re saying, men who travelled back in the day actually had a more similar ~vibe~ to Woodstock than the ones who do so now. Since, they where completely rejecting the life laid out for them for something more exciting and subversive with sex being one of the perks. They where actually taking a major risk back then and where trail-blazers (a lot of them probably did some pretty bad stuff too but that’s besides the point). Even that’s a stretch but the old travellers/adventurers def…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 09:44 AM
6

I don’t think the men going to escape feminism are any more political or subversive than the men who went to escape Christian sexual morality back in the day. Definitely not a Woodstock.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 09:01 AM
24

Isn’t part of the reason Woodstock became so iconic was because it was very counter-cultural? When they said make love not war they where protesting actual wars. The bra burning was in protest of women’s oppression. Western men have been going abroad for easier access to sex for at least 100 years probably more. If you want to do sex tourism that’s up to you, but it’s a bit delusional to think that it’s comparable to Woodstock. It isn’t exactly new or subversive. The documentaries I’ve watched o…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 08:05 AM
4

There is definitely a subset of people who have really high or really specific standards as a subconscious way to avoid intimacy. They set roadblocks for having a partner so they don’t have to admit to themselves or others they don’t actually want a partner. Not everyone with high standards is doing this though.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 10:54 PM
6

UK rural and US rural are two very different beasts. In my experience some rural people here are slightly more racist but I’ve not noticed a massive difference when it comes to feminism.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 10:38 PM
18

I’m not really sure, I don’t live in a country that has big obvious disparities when it comes to attitudes towards femenism in different cities, even if we are politically different. I’ve never noticed a correlation either way when it comes to rudeness and beliefs on femenism.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 09:25 PM
1

Anyone seeking monogamy should not pursue someone that had side pieces or fwb, is there really anyone who says otherwise?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 09:03 PM
1

‘ Does it make you a shitty parent to only send your kid a check and otherwise be absent from their lives? Yes, of course. But that's not criminal neglect.’ It’s you’re quote?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 07:57 AM
2

You can totally leave your five year old home alone and mail them cheques.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 08:18 PM
1

I mean you’ve got a pretty good reason to be there if you’re picking up your friend, and I assume you’re roughly college aged. If it was a 30+ yr old man going to campuses for no reason other than to pick up girls people might think he was weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 06:19 PM
1

In my experience at least, most of the men on tumblr are AFAB so at least have been socialised as women. Reddit is good if you want an answer for a specific question. But it can be a little tiring when every single conversation turns into a pedantic debate, and I actually enjoy debating a lot of people don’t. You can definitely curate your experience more on Tumblr depending on who you follow, and there is more a community vibe. It’s less judgemental, I think I would get a very different respons…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 07:55 AM
24

Tumblr is definitely mostly female, there’s a lot of discussion on there depending on what corner you’re in. I guess you get more power in cultivating your experience on that site, and you build more of a relationship between mutuals compared to Reddit (at least what I’ve seen) and there’s less chance of niche posts escaping containment like twitter. Other female dominated web spaces; quotev, watt pad, ao3, live journal
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 08:59 PM
6

Sure, but when it comes to comparing very beautiful people who have all of those things, there’s rarely a consensus on who’s the ‘best’
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 10:49 PM
7

While there generally an agreement about who counts as ‘good looking’. Most people disagree on who counts as the ‘best looking’ to the point it’s pointless discussing it. If Leo and other male celebrities are more attractive to you than females that’s cool, but it’s not really an objective measure and not everyone is going to agree with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 09:31 PM
2

Being a man’s first proper girlfriend doesn’t gaurentee you’ll be his first love.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 09:19 PM
2

It’s normally for the first two reasons you mentioned. But unless a man is a literal Adonis I don’t think even good looking men can pull a girl every night unless they are willing to sleep with whoever.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 12:41 PM
7

I think you mentioned somewhere in the text that you don’t want to just sleep with any woman you meet on a night out. Men who frequently pull on a night out that I know pursue woman they think seems easiest rather than who’s attractive to them. I don’t think I’d recommend doing that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 10:11 AM
8

Weirdly I don’t think irl men have been too unrealistic in their expectations of a woman’s role in the relationship (in my experience). This is about certain men online.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 10:16 AM
40

It’s easy, you just have to be naturally beautiful, or use cosmetics to seem naturally beautiful without it being obvious. Be attractive and sexy but not so much that it makes a man insecure. Be modest but not frumpy. Have a high sex drive and a low head count. Only be with one man, but don’t be too picky or you’re conceited/delusional, you should give the guy who doesn’t seem the obvious choice a chance. but also if you pick the wrong man that’s completely your fault as well. Go 50/50 on money …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 01:42 AM
–

Consume les content, especially stories that are meant to make you angry
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 08:01 AM
40

What do you count as humiliation and shame? I agree men should be able to approach women without being made fun of, but some men think rejection in of itself is humiliating and shameful.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:56 PM
–

If you’re wanting to date someone exclusively I think it’s best to make that clear early on. I know dating scenes are variable in different places, but when I was dating it was pretty standard for either me or him to say if we’re interested in pursuing something potentially serious ie exclusive on the first date.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 05:39 PM
–

Rather than turning to porn after failing to get a relationship, most young men I know and grew up with have been watching hard-core online porn from when they where 10-12 years old. You don’t necessarily have to have an agenda to be concerned about the effects that could have. Watching online porn from such a young age increases the risk of future erectile dysfunction, aggressive behaviour during sex, and warping their idea of what a normal body looks like increasing their risk of body insecuri…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 07:30 AM
1

This seems personal
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:57 AM
1

Menopause is like 50, unless you take exceptionally good care of yourself (and have access to expensive age reversing products) 50 is considered old in the dating market for men and women. I guess if you haven’t got anything going for you outside of looks hitting menopause would be pretty devastating, but most people have different priorities and life goals at that age than just being hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 12:41 PM
–

When I was 19-23 quite a lot of the men I went on dates with/vaguely in social circle where virgins, so I don’t think it’s too weird. It does get a bit more unusual past 25.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 07:51 AM
0

Dating pool narrows for most women in their thirties, but as long as they aren’t chasing ‘bad boys’ or have attachment issues themselves/are decently attractive and saavy my older friends don’t seem to have huge problems finding men willing to commit to them. Like things are definitely handed to you more easily at the age I am now when it comes to dating, but I think the idea of the wall being this huge life ending event is just a revenge fantasy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 05:14 PM
–

I hope you bring the same energy to men who say women who only have face pictures is a red flag (for weight).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 07:56 AM
2

If I had to guess, bad teeth
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 07:52 AM
3

Men are definitely allowed to show more visible signs of ageing without being judged for it, but certain men on the internet definitely cling to this idea that ‘the wall’ is some sort of divine punishment that will destroy the looks and lives of all the hot women that rejected them in their twenties. Sure, for most women your mid twenties is the time you’ll be considered most attractive, but unless the only thing you have going for you is your looks/youth, life of women 30+ is still fun/exciting…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 09:34 PM
3

Does engaging with prostitutes (over 18, obv) really land you on the sex offender list in the US?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 09:01 PM
1

People underestimate how easy it is for people to tell when multiple pictures on a profile are heavily edited/the profile is misleading with the person’s looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 08:59 PM
–

It seems like in certain US states at least, the amount of money needed for a decent quality of life is crazy high. The idea of someone making £150,000 and living pay check to pay check is madness to me, I don’t think I know anyone who makes that kind of money, but most people I know have a decent quality of life. Being financially stable seems like a matter of life and death in the US, since you need health insurance and medication is very expensive. You have to pay to give birth in a hospital,…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 07:49 AM
–

I think the issue is more that some men think that just because you can always find someone willing to put their dick in you it means you have no problems in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 12:40 PM
1

I mean, it really depends what you mean by ‘not playing fair’, big difference between, for example, exaggerating your accomplishments compared to baby trapping a partner
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 12:38 PM
5

If someone really wants to divorce their spouse, they’ll find a way to do it. No fault divorces means partners don’t have to make things up and drag each other through the mud (often with kids stuck in the middle) just to get a divorce. Nobody should be forced to stay married to someone they don’t want to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 10:31 AM
6

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being frustrated, but there are a lot of people online who take it way further than frustration.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 09:10 PM
2

I’m really wracking my brain but I can’t think of a single person who had no mother AND a good father figure. I can think of a handful who had no mother and a bad father.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 09:03 PM
2

I don’t want either of those things so it’s cool
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 08:00 AM
38

It’s stupid to think one sex is inherently ‘better’ than the other, people should be judged on their own character not deemed inherintly better or worse based off their sex. Individuals shouldn’t get accolades or punishment based off people they share genitals with.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 08:37 PM
–

The more I think about it, I probably know about an equal number of men who overestimate and underestimate their attractiveness. I don’t think there’s a strong trend one way or the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 09:35 AM
2

I admire your optimism, but being online there are many people who aren’t aware of the things that you’d think everyone would be aware of.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 09:07 AM
2

Tell that to the guys who say that it means women are equally as horny then.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 08:42 AM
1

I’ve had people of all “pill types”deny this, black pill especially, because they always have to view things from the least charitable view possible ie ‘women are just as horny as men but only for chad and they all have only fans and travel to Dubai’.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 07:36 AM
1

I mean obviously if I was dating a guy with a porn addiction or issues like that it would be different, and I am aware that porn can cause issues, but I don’t think it’s an issue if he occasionally watches it
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 09:26 PM
1

Expecting men to never watch porn in a relationship is a take I’ve only heard online. I wonder if it is a generational thing or a regional/cultural thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 08:18 PM
3

I think it depends on why an individual is consistently chasing people out of their league, if it’s a psychological reason, ie, they feel like they need an ‘high value’ partner because of their own insecurity/affirm their own worth, or if they chase after people they know are out of their league as a subconscious way to avoid intimacy, or if they feel they are owed/entitled a partner of a certain standard then therapy could potentially help with those thought patterns, but I don’t think it can c…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 07:09 PM
2

‘ Assuming you treat your partner with well and with respect, ’ I think the issue is that people who are resentful about having to settle and think they are owed more but are robbed of it because of (insert societal reason here) often aren’t respectful and kind to their partner. I didn’t read the original post, so I’m not sure of it’s tone.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 09:58 AM
1

That’s interesting, when I was at that age pretty much all the 18-21 yr old men I knew where always at clubs, whereas ‘older’ men like 30 + didn’t tend to go out as regularly.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 09:53 AM
2

Girls who aren’t into the club scene as much might want an older man because uni aged guys are all about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 09:07 PM
–

It’s really hard to have any sort of discussion about this when you’re being so vague about what behaviour in the women you dated you found so abhorrent. Where they excessively jealous? Violent? Angry? Did they cheat? You’ve said they all had issues. Where they the same issues? Or did one have anger issues and another was lazy? It’s not really clear. You’ve used a lot of words to say not much.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 08:09 AM
4

Leave a small plate of chicken outside your door each night and watch what happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 09:35 PM
6

‘ as you get to know a woman more that façade drops starting with that first date.’ Is that not true of everyone to a certain extent? Even in non romantic settings, we’re normally on best behaviour when we first meet someone. Everyone I know who’s very active on social media curates their image to an extent.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 07:43 AM
3

I think if you blast a relationship you’re currently in over social media, said relationship is basically dead. Even if the two of them stay together, it’s so trashy. Unless your partner has done something seriously wrong where you’re questioning the relationship, you shouldn’t be discussing things in a group chat. Even then, it’s better to message just one person or speak to people in person if possible. I know people who are constantly complaining/venting about their partner, then get surprise…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 09:39 AM
–

It’s pretty easy at the moment. Are we assuming that people are using AI to enhance actual photos of themselves? That will also become detectable, at least to people who are used to it, it’s a red flag when a photograph is too flawless. If specific programmes become popular that will make it even easier to detect because there will be tell-tale signs. The ai enhancers that exist are already pretty good, but if you’re familiar with them you can usually tell when someone else uses them unless they…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/24 07:51 AM
–

Filters and editing apps can already hugely enhance someone’s looks. Most people are savvy enough to detect filters now, but people still fall for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/24 07:29 AM
–

Your issues go beyond being limmerent
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 07:42 AM
6

Yeah I would tend to agree that anyone who enjoys debating this stuff and spends a lot of time on Reddit isn’t representative of a ‘normal’ person, saying this as a person who does both. Even if you you have all the normal attainments everyone else has (partner, job, flat, friends, hobby’s) enjoying stuff other people think is really weird is indicative of being wired differently on some level.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 07:12 PM
3

‘Chads’ don’t tend to cling to the belief they’re nice guys though. If you’re demanding recognition or praise for being nice/good people will begrudge giving you that if you act nice exclusively to try and get sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 05:17 PM
–

If a man walked around in nothing but tight speedos it’d be uncomfortable, if a woman did that it would be indecent exposure. While I agree that there should be standards when it comes to clothes, especially in a professional environment, what counts as a ‘revealing’ depends so much on where you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 07:48 AM
4

This might be true, when my job was with more working-class colleagues there was a ton of cheating, now they’re more middle-class and there’s no cheating at work that I know about. But it is a much smaller team. Both jobs were based in very poor areas.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/24 09:24 PM
2

In the nicest way possible, if I needed all men (or even the majority of men) to acknowledge the extent women deal with the threat of sexual violence in order to deal with it I would never be satisfied. It is frustrating when issues are minimised, but it is up to us if we let that be another roadblock to mentally dealing with said issue. If it means something to you, keep trying to educate people about the ways men struggle. If you need to speak to people who also have the same struggles then th…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/24 01:43 PM
2

Again, I have never seen a man approaching a woman respectfully go viral. And also again it’s pretty unusual/worst case scenario. I don’t think it’s helpful to tell men who already have social anxiety that if they approach women it’s social suicide. I actually think the black pill type dudes who are constantly posting that are pretty predatory. There needs to be a balance between acknowledging the struggle, but also not feeding in to this mentality where people think your life is over if you app…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/24 01:17 PM
2

The issue is, a lot of men especially on here, tend to over-exaggerate the likely hood of absolute worst-case scenarios (like being arrested, spoken to by the police, filmed) and act as if that’s the norm. I think there needs to be a balance between acknowledging that being rejected or dismissed is socially painful for, but also not feeding into this belief that it’s the end of the world/worst thing ever. If you actually ask, a good amount of the men who complain on here about how treacherous it…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/24 12:02 PM
2

I mean, there would certainly be a subset of people who call you a murderer for eating a sausage. I’ve had this conversation a few times on here, and I’m not denying that you can get a negative reaction/treated like a creep for approaching a woman, I’ve never heard or been shown any evidence of a man being arrested just for speaking to a woman then backing off when she’s not interested. I’ve also had men claim that there’s a really high chance of being filmed/going viral for approaching a woman.…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/24 08:34 AM
5

People across the world (especially on the internet) come up with all sorts of rules about how people should live their life, from how hard you should work (You need the hustle everyday/If you put too much effort into your office job you’re a boot-licker) what you should eat (You need to eat vegan, no paleo, no fast intermittently, actually, any type of diet is fat phobic), how you should look (put effort in/too much makeup is anti femenist), what your values should be, what media you should con…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 08:35 PM
–

If you’re right about your energy attracting girls I can see why you’re not having much luck based off the energy of this post.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 10:14 AM
3

There is always a risk of getting a negative reaction if your approach someone in public. I think some areas are worse than others. It’s just about if the risk is worth the pay off to that individual.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 07:43 PM
–

When I said generalising, I meant assigning traits to people based off their sexual experience. Not everyone with a high headcount is a liar/cheater/dirty. Not everyone who’s a virgin is awkward/boring/nerdy etc. But I don’t want the pressure of being someone’s first, same way some men may not want to be their partner’s 50th.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 10:21 PM
–

I think you can have more specific standards on someone you’re choosing to be your life partner than those you impose on strangers in every day life.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 09:26 PM
–

If someone’s sexual past makes them incompatible for you as a partner, that’s fine, but people in general shouldn’t have sweeping generalisations made about them/be insulted/shamed by people who aren’t potential partners for it. I don’t think I would personally date a man who is a virgin, but that doesn’t mean I can be rude to him about his sexual experience or make assumptions about him just based on that
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 06:12 PM
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Yeah but more men are overweight and obese, two categories which make up a much bigger % (more than half)of the population than the severely obese. https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/health-statistics/overweight-obesity So I guess that evens out. Severely obese is like 300+ lbs territory.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 06:08 PM
–

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/social-instincts/201507/when-men-arent-good-looking-they-think?amp Not according to any studies I can find. Regardless, I think asking someone to rate themselves on looks 1-10 isn’t always a true reflection of how attractive they think they are. Some people pick higher because they think it should reflect how confident they feel, others rate lower in order to show humility. If you really want to know how someone feels about their appearance, ask them to fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 05:59 PM
1

Okay, in the spirit of debate I think these two things are true; 1) Men and the people around you do tend to treat women better when they look after themselves and wear makeup. You get more attention and people desire you more when you invest in your appearance. 2) The amount you personally spend on makeup and other beauty treatments is not indicative of what the average woman spends, nor is it necessary to spend that much to be desirable. If it’s something you like and enjoy that’s great, but t…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 01:38 PM
1

Does the foundation and other stuff not last much longer than a month though?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 08:04 AM
2

$100 a month On makeup!? What are you using? I use MAC/Charlotte Tilbury which aren’t cheap brands but I don’t think I spend more than £5 most months. Foundation is the most expensive and that usually lasts a long time. I guess if you get lash extensions those can be expensive, the first one is normally £60-ish but then it’s only like £30 for monthly infills. Do you get your makeup done professionally regularly?. (Not being mean, just not sure how you can spend that much on makeup)
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 02:59 PM
1

‘evidence suggests the DT and its constituent traits are associated with higher physical attractiveness (Holtzman and Strube, 2010, Visser et al., 2010).’ Could it be that physically attractive men are more likely to develop DT personality traits? Are there any other studies with similar results? The methodology of getting 100 or so college women to pick who is more attractive based on a DT self description and a control description doesn’t seem the most applicable to real life, especially when …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 07:08 PM
5

I think as long as you’re upfront about your intentions and don’t lie/manipulate to get sex then there’s nothing wrong with hookups.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 06:42 PM
–

Aside from just being creeps/pedos my theory is that a lot of these female teachers who do this either a) peaked in highschool and are trying to recapture how they felt back then or 2) Where losers in highschool and are preying on these kids in order to do-over and feel ‘popular’ in a way they never where. Either way, they’re complete creeps.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 01:05 PM
3

I agree with you to an extent, but if I saw a sub that had some of the discussion headlines we regularly have here, and I wasn’t invested enough to properly investigate I’d probably write the group off as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 09:31 PM
1

Fake it till you make it with confidence works to an extent. As someone with pretty bad social anxiety in the past, forcing yourself to socialise/assert yourself even when it’s uncomfortable really pays off. Especially in terms of making friends, managing relationships and being respected professionally and in life. Even though I think pick up artistry is really toxic, I don’t think the tips on practicing cold approaching are entirely bad, confidence is a skill like any other. Just like you have…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 09:17 PM
9

I’ve had some discussion on here that have actually been pretty enlightening and interesting, but there are so many discussion topics where someone comes up with an absolutely bonkers theory on human nature/relationships/society that sounds like something an alien would come up with if their only knowledge of the earth came on tiktok. Then there’s the massive amounts of generalisations where people treat certain trends as absolute truths. Then posts about all women being to blame for their own d…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 09:11 PM
–

50/50, we have our own bank accounts but share household costs
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 07:47 PM
–

I don’t demonise them. The fact you think I’m calling them assholes or bad people misses my point. As I stated before, The type of ‘good personality’ that leads to social success is a likeable personality. You can be boring, uncomfortably timid, awkward, etc without being a bad person. Or maybe you have no friends because you lack initiative and don’t try to connect with others. Regardless, if a man has no friends, I don’t think he can only blame his looks for lack of sexual success, when he’s u…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 09:07 AM
–

Right. I’ve seen plenty of people with poor social understanding take the personality thing to mean ‘morally good personality’ instead of a likeable personality. I’ve seen men who admit to having no irl friends genuinely argue they have a ‘good personality’. People with poor social understanding are also more likely to take platitudes and advice extremely literally, compared to people who are able to observe the world around them and discern things for themselves. People who are able to connect …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 08:46 AM
–

So for example, I see posts here pretty frequently that say something along the lines of ‘The whole world told me women only care about personality and it turns out looks and status matter too’ or ‘The world lied to me- women won’t date me for being a good person’. Or some other take which leads me to think the poster took the dating ‘advice’ you get from adults as a kid extremely literally. Maybe red pill can be useful to an extent for men with poor social ability/discernment, because it offers…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 08:22 AM
–

Sure, but a lot of the knowledge rp provides is stuff a lot of allistic men could either discern for themselves or learn from other men in his life. I see a lot of posts on here of normally red pill or incel men saying stuff that everyone knows like it’s some sort of revelation.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 07:48 AM
–

Maybe there are less neurotypical men on rp dating forums because more of them are able to navigate and understand the dating world without needing a guideline. I can see why the sometimes stringent rules and outlook of rp can be particularly attractive to someone with autism, but it might actually be limiting to someone with good social ability, especially if they don’t have any anxiety issues. Most people understand that financial stability, being in good shape and having a good social standin…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 07:35 AM
8

I know it’s not that straight forward, but if you’re acting incredibly stoic for months with women, you’re going to attract women who maybe struggle with vulnerability/real emotional intimacy with others and aren’t equip to deal with emotional baggage/displays . I’m not saying you should be super open and vulnerable with women you’ve just met, because that can cause issues too, but maybe there’s some sort of middle ground where you aren’t pretending you don’t struggle emotionally for the first 5…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 06:14 PM
–

Can’t find any citation on the red headed thing. But again… how is that relevant? Most peasant women weren’t routinely compelled to marry.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/24 12:07 AM
–

How’s that relevant? I can’t find much evidence of masse intentional infanticide in the Middle Ages, I think people just relied on plague, hunger and neglect to kill their children.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 11:06 PM
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There seems to be more information on peasants when it comes to single women than serfs. Not sure what you mean by extraneous requirements, but it wasn’t unheard of for women, especially poor women to be single in the Middle Ages. If you’re interested >> https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Single_women_in_the_Middle_Ages Their father who was also a peasant and likely had multiple children would be unlikely to find a match for his daughter prosperous enough to force them into marriage. Plus, there wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 09:49 PM
6

Being in a committed relationship with someone means being with them through ups and downs. If staying with them through lower periods and putting in effort to maintain the relationship sounds intolerable to you, maybe it’s best to remain single and only pursue casual relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 04:47 PM
–

A lot of peasants had dead fathers. I don’t think many serfs/peasants cared much about anyone besides maybe their first of ten daughter’s marrying unless they had someone eligible interested in them. Single women and spinsters weren’t as rare as you may think back in medieval times.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 12:27 PM
0

A sort-off friend of mine who’s always been really socially unaware and never had a boyfriend before is trying to find a boyfriend and had no luck. Only one guy agreed to go on a date with her then blocked her straight after, everyone else just stopped replying . She’s using Facebook dating (didn’t even know that was a thing) and won’t use tinder or hinge because someone once told her that was for hookups. I know if I or pretty much anyone else where able to run her dating account and chose whic…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 10:11 AM
2

There’s always going to be a portion of the population that engage in casual sex during periods of their life. Regardless of your views on it, casual sex is inevitable. Relationships take commitment and work and not everyone wants to or is able to do that adequately.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 09:05 PM
55

In my experience, women who were raised in a family unit/micro culture where violence was often used to solve problems and was associated with power and social dominance seem more attracted to violent men. Women who where raised to associate violence with mental instability/criminality and a marker of social abnormality rather than power seem less attracted to it. Of course there’s exceptions to this.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 06:21 PM
1

All I’ve said is that it’s okay for people to have whatever standards they want, but they shouldn’t get mad at or be resentful towards the opposite sex if they aren’t able to get with people who meet those standards, because nobody is entitled to a relationship. What exactly are you taking issue with? I know articulation isn’t everyone’s forte but I don’t even know what you’re arguing against.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 12:37 PM
-1

The world is more populated now than it’s ever has been, maybe it needs to collapse a little, even though it will probably cause all sorts of issues for the people actually living through it, it might end up being for the best in a couple hundred years. It will probably lead to a big demographic change due to the difference between birth rates in different countries. I suspect the richer countries with lower birth rates will end up bringing in more migrant workers.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 08:18 AM
–

Margo Robbie is an extreme example. After spending some time on here, I think people’s views of beauty are pretty skewed, at least on this sub. I just find it really interesting that men who rate themselves as low (3-4) still seem to find a picture of a thin, conventionally attractive but plain girl as their ‘looks-match’ and they’re resentful about dating overweight girls. If we cared enough to try get some data you could make a post asking people to rate their looks /10 then share a random pic…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 07:50 AM
3

I know I see more men getting mad at women/society in general because they are unable to get with a woman who meets their standards/preferences (you know the typical ‘All women these days are used goods I can only get used goods, only really overweight girls are interested in me) spiel. But I’ve definitely seen women get mad too that their specific standards aren’t being reached.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 07:29 AM
10

Look it up, there’s threads on twitter of guys calling Margo Robbie mid and they’re not trolling. I’ve had guys on here who admit they’re average, but then say literal Hollywood celebrities like Emma Stone are also average. Not sure if it’s just chronically online men who’s basis is edited Instagram models who have this mindset though. Again, most people in the US are overweight, obese or more compared to healthy weight, so I think statistically a good amount of these men complaining only overwe…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 10:18 PM
2

I think Historically a woman would have a better chance of living a longer life if she remained single than in she married a really poor man.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 10:00 PM
–

I didn’t say most men. But on the topic of looksmatch, a lot of men online seem to have a really skewed version of what their looksmatch is. Like the man might say he’s a ‘4’ so it seems like he’s humble, but he thinks like, Margo Robbie is only a 6. A below average man thinks an athletic 20 yr old girl with a pretty face is his looks match. It’s interesting you mentioned weight; a lot of men on here are extremely resentful around overweight women being their only options. But most people in the…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 09:57 PM
26

A lot of people who have really high or specific standards seem to get mad at society for not meeting them. If a man wants his girlfriend to be a virgin but also super beautiful, feminine, low maintenance, and not care about looks herself that’s fine, but no need to get mad because you can’t find any women who fit that specification + want to date you. Same with women who have super high standards for men then get mad there aren’t a ton of available men who meet that standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 06:58 PM
1

doing gritty, painful, or 'nasty' work. << one thing I disagree on for men having it worse. Healthcare gets really overlooked in terms of dangerous, painful and nasty work and that’s predominantly women. I’ve had a guy with a background in construction last 1 day on the ward, it wasn’t even that bad of a day. Healthcare, esp nurses and ‘below’ is seriously under appreciated. The rest of the points seem fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/24 06:20 PM
–

I don’t think I’d like a play by play of how our life together would be because life would have some surprises. Maybe just seeing some sort of colour code for how the relationship is going to go (like Green for good, orange for okay. Red for awful)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/24 06:17 PM
12

As we all know, abusive relationships didn’t exist before 1992 when beauty and the beast came out.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/24 07:57 AM
18

There’s no sure fire way to get a woman interested, but both those examples where bad responses. Rather than a mix of sycophantic and complete apathy I think showing you’re interested in her, but not obsessed with her or dependent on her is normally better. When you go full sycophant mode it comes across as fake and a bit mentally unstable. Only guys that are already in high demand because of looks/status can get away with replying like the second one and still be chased. If a man gave either of…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 06:39 PM
43

I feel like there’s something in between being a sycophant and being a complete bore over text. Face to face or voice call/FaceTime is a better way to communicate anyway
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 06:28 PM
2

Yeah but probably around 85% of good dudes wouldn’t wait that long either. I wouldn’t be compatible with someone who was very religious so they’re out the window too. Plus, if you’re the type of person who makes poor life decisions/gets into toxic relationship patterns, you will be doing that even if you make a guy wait 90 days. There’s no magic sex-waiting number that will ensure a good relationship. Unfortunately life is more complicated than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 06:09 PM
4

25/F/LTR Waiting 90 days or not doesn’t make a big difference on if someone is still going to make bad relationship/life decisions. 90 days is very unusual and long time to wait for sex in modern relationships, you might miss out on a good prospective partner who you’re very compatible with if you stick too closely to arbitrary dates for things to happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 05:59 PM
1

It depends on what type of foreigner
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/24 09:31 PM
4

Yep
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 07:52 PM
1

I bet you say that to all the girls </3
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 05:56 PM
6

You asked me if I think men should pay for kids that aren’t there’s, not if they actually do in reality. I was asking for evidence that 10% of paternity is wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 02:45 PM
4

Of course men shouldn’t have to pay for kids who aren’t there’s. Have you got a link to the statistic? Also, are you aware this is a global group. I doubt the rates of false paternity are the same across every western country.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 01:29 PM
5

No, it should be up to the couple, I don’t think it’s the governments place to enforce things like that. Plus if it was happening en masse I’m sure there would be mix ups, which would lead to lawsuits etc, Also if it was mandatory that would mean it’s paid for by the government, ie taxpayer money. I don’t want to pay for other peoples kids to get paternity tests.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 11:15 AM
5

Why would it make a difference on who gets to reproduce? Would it not just mean the men that where never going to father offspring are more content with their lives?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 11:11 AM
1

In the video I saw they went through his phone and it just had pictures of women walking from behind, but no groups of men, which would be weird if he was filming the place and not people. It was only a short video though so maybe there’s more to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 09:13 AM
4

Either way, it was really stupid to go out and film random women like that, especially in Manchester. Although saying that, it probably would of gone a lot worse if they tried that in a small town, especially where everyone knows each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 08:35 PM
2

On the page I saw there where men and women calling the guys nonces, and saying the people defending him are nonces. Think that’s maybe a bit far personally, even if he is a creep doesn’t mean he’s a nonce.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 08:22 PM
12

This is so so weird because I literally just saw that video on Insta and then saw this post. I do feel a bit sorry for the guy, but you have to be stupid to go around filming random women, most people view it as creepy behaviour and it isn’t surprising if someone’s boyfriend gets upset. There have also been a lot of spikings around the north west area, I’m not surprised that people are on high alert for creepy behaviour.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 08:09 PM
31

‘Men are considerably more able to stoicly accept being single(even for a lifetime) and and are much more willing to leave unsatisfying relationships(justified or unjustified). While this may be a tempting option, this will likely decrease the amount of male options you have and will increase the effort women must put in. Just something to think about ladies.’ ^ I think the quality of men available would increase if this was the case, and you could be more confident that men who approach you act…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 04:58 PM
2

In real life, I have worked with men who have been sexually assaulted by men and women as children, or the women in their life (mother usually) let them be sexually assaulted. The shame of being a male survivor of sexual assault makes it even harder for them to process the trauma. I haven’t met any men who have disclosed being SA’d by a woman as an adult but plenty who have been assaulted by other men, and again, the stigma and shame seems to be as impactful as the trauma itself. There is still …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 04:30 PM
2

Yeah on tumblr
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 04:22 PM
1

Andrew Tate should be enough evidence for anyone in the red pill that looks aren’t everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 07:04 PM
1

It is actually nice to see someone who’s open about their experiences instead of the conversation just devolving into snippy comments like a lot do here. That does sound really rough, I touched on it before, but for the most part I don’t think women can understand how hard it is for certain men to get any sort of attention. I try to understand, but I think unless that’s you’re life you probably can’t fully understand. When you’re really struggling with something, it can feel if that one thing wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 05:51 PM
1

Yeah, I’m not saying it didn’t happen in history or in the modern day, I just don’t think men are ~mentally ill~ because they have different dating preferences. And even though it was common in ~history~ (which is incredibly vague, like when and where?) it doesn’t mean men never had different preferences in marriage and relationships even back then.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 06:01 PM
1

‘That does not negate the enlivening experience of seeing someone reach the point of comfort where they allow themselves to be aroused in the presence of another person’. I like your optimism and rose tinted view, honestly, I think it’s great when people can see beauty even in a 2 minute pump and dump followed by disgust and shame on both sides. Unless a woman has incredibly low self esteem, there isn’t anything particularly enlivening or affirming about sleeping with a man who just wants someth…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 05:59 PM
1

Men can get aroused enough to stick it in a piece of plastic. Men can get aroused around women that they don’t find attractive. A friend of mine got a boner in highschool because a map looked a bit like a female form. Men who fully hate you can still get aroused around you (granted, the ones who have done that in my presence have been mentally ill, but still). There is nothing delicate or intimate about that process. It can be pretty dangerous to tell women that men getting aroused around them i…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 11:37 PM
1

Being used for something and being forced to do something is completely different. Of course it’s up to the woman if she chooses to engage in consensual sex with someone, I’m just pointing out that meaningless sex with someone whose basically just wanting a flesh light with legs and doesn’t care about connection or her name isn’t going to be fulfilling. If you’re lacking meaningful connection in your life, getting pounded by a randomer who would pound anyone won’t help and would make most women …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 10:04 PM
1

No, a nice one in a European country, have you been to Amsterdam? I think you’d be safe there
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 08:57 PM
1

Is this that grass is greener thing? When you see your male friends on tinder who swipe right to everyone it doesn’t really mean anything. You could switch your preferences to male on tinder and get that many likes? You could walk into the red light district with a nice watch and suit and get a tonne of attention. Just because you’re having sex doesn’t mean you can’t be lonely when that sex is only available because you’re giving up your money or your dignity. I don’t think there’s any true comp…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 08:36 PM
2

…also not what I said. Not every ons HAS to be degrading and devoid of any connection. Do you think there are no one night stands that are purely just about a man wanting to fuck whatever girl is easy enough to let him? Do you think those situations are emotionally or sexually satisfying in any way? Do you think engaging in a sex act like that would stop you feeling lonely? Do you think being open to sleeping with whatever man, regardless of his attraction to you, your attraction to him, if he e…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 08:17 PM
2

I think if men and women don’t NEED to take on the opposites gender’s roles we will see it less, but we shouldn’t let that trick us into thinking we can’t embody the roles of the opposite gender when we have to. We probably always had some sort of gender roles, just because of the different roles men and women have in child rearing etc. but specifics of these roles in Mesolithic era is just guessing. I think you’re probably right about the reason so many cultures had similar-ish gender roles. Bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 08:04 PM
4

Women can’t have sex with whomsever they want, but they probably can have sex whenever they want. Men who are willing to pay for prostitutes (or have sex with other men) can also have sex whenever they want. I’m a little impressed by the mental gymnastics it takes to twist my point from ‘having meaningless degrading sex with whoever isn’t fulfilling or rewarding in any way, and it isn’t an anecdote for loneliness the same way prostitution isn’t’ To ‘This post is complaining about subpar sex’ I d…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 07:55 PM
15

I think human behaviour is very flexible, I think that’s why we where able to spread so far across the planet and live in such varied environments and build such different cultures. I think our flexibility and skills at adaptation are one of our greatest assets. There may be some behaviours and roles that are more innate in certain genders but they aren’t set in stone; there are individuals who have personality traits more associated with the opposite gender. Even aside from that, a very masculi…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 06:19 PM
0

I see self identified incels saying that women can’t ever be lonely because they can get laid whenever you want. But if someone suggests they see a prostitute to loose their virginity, they will respond ‘that isn’t a solution! It’s about more than that! It’s about being denied companionship, love, fulfilment and passion’ but then can’t do the 2+2 to work out that maybe having anonymous sex with someone who doesn’t care what your name is, doesn’t care about pleasing you and is basically using you…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 05:59 PM
3

Not sure the relevance of that honestly? The sexual revolution might of made it easier for people to be open with their desires, but the desires always existed, right? And it wasn’t like history up until that point was completely repressed. There isn’t one right way to navigate relationships, some men might benefit from getting experience with an expendable partner some may not. There isn’t only one way to navigate life, love and relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 05:55 PM
13

I’ve always been a girl’s girl, most of my close friendships have been girls. The family members I’ve got most support from where women, etc but I know some people have had the opposite experience of me, and I know some women see all other women as competition.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 05:38 PM
1

Again, I think you’re viewing history through too narrow a lense. There are plenty of historical cases of men who married more experienced women (courtesans would often marry). There are also other men who even with extra marital affairs would seek out (usually) much younger less experienced girls. And other men who where so pious the thought of any sort of affair repulsed him. People in history are just as complex as we are today. You can argue it’s mental illness, but men who are excited by ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 05:23 PM
14

I don’t think the past was a monolith, when you read old books, social history etc there’s always been men who put purity on a pedestal and had no interest in experienced women and there’s always been other men who where enchanted by women with experience and histories. Preferences existed back then too.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 02:36 PM
2

Getting someone to commit to you is more about being a good judge of character than your looks/status as a woman
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 07:58 PM
1

It’s probably so hard to get a straight answer on this, because gen Z will never know what it was actually like to live in the 90’s, and Gen X millennials will never know what it’s like to be a young adult now. And on top of that there are probably regional differences, where I live it’s pretty normal for guys to cold approach and be quite insistent about this, but I’m sure this isn’t the same everywhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 06:07 PM
3

If you don’t see any value in companionship with someone you love, then maybe it’s best just to stay single and have some no commitment fwb relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 05:57 PM
7

I think it’s clear to tell when someone doesn’t want to do something due to a change in their circumstance or mindset, compared to when they don’t want to do something because they see you as lesser and not worth the effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/24 10:09 PM
18

If my boyfriend who he had an ex where he paid for absolutely everything for (like rent, food, + getting gifts) but realised he didn’t want to be in a relationship like that again because he felt used, I’d be fine with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/24 08:21 PM
1

This is a weird one, I know it isn’t directly related to intelligence, but since you mentioned education; it wasn’t usual for people of my parents generation (like born in the 60s/70s) to pursue higher education, and was seen as something for the upper class.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/24 03:02 PM
6

It must be hard to be attracted to women (I assumed) but like nothing about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 09:19 PM
25

If you think communicating to your partner that you want them to do an equal part of the house work is coercion then I pity any future girlfriends you have.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 02:24 PM
22

I’ve never personally seen someone being advised to withhold sex if a man isn’t cleaning up. Normally the advice is to explain to him clearly or do things that make it easier for him (like making him a chore chart), I may of occasionally seen people advising the woman stops cleaning/doing things around the house also. Normally when you asked for advice for an issue people will give advice on how the ASKER can make changes, because they’re the one asking and they’re the one wanting things to chan…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 01:41 PM
89

It depends on the situation really. Houses don’t have to be perfectly spotless and it’s unfair to hold it to too high a standard, but if a man is continually not contributing to keeping the house in decent shape, and worse making messes and not cleaning them, that’s an issue. Whenever I read posts about sexless marriage's the response is really different depending on the circumstances; for example if the couple have just had a new baby and the man is complaining about lack of sex then people see…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 11:50 AM
–

super obvious lip filler/Botox (not against people who get it subtly) Having an aggressive out of control dog they make no effort to train. yellow fingers from years of smoking. Does cocaine at least once a week if not more. Can’t even go to a family party without doing coke. Paranoid off said cocaine. Posts those cringy pictures of the joker/Peaky Blinders guy with cryptic quotes about how loyal and dangerous they are and how nobody values them like they should etc. makes me cringe every time I…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 11:25 AM
5

Maybe between close friends of the same gender or partners, but if I told my boss he had a nice bulge he probably wouldn’t think that was appropriate
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 10:27 AM
5

This is easier to do if both parties are working independent jobs and there’s no kids involved. In situations where they both wanted children and one spouse agreed to limit/stop their own career in order to raise the kids so spouse 2 can focus on their career, it makes sense that spouse 1 may get alimony. Or what about cases where 1 spouse enters the relationship owning a house, but spouse 2 has lived with them and helped them pay off the mortgage for 10+ years, are they not entitled to a portio…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 05:56 PM
2

I think in general, being pressured into sex and being unable to properly consent (except in cases where you’re fully unconscious) aren’t accepted as sexual assaults by a lot of society no matter what your gender. Incidents where a partner repeatedly asks the other for sex and the other eventually gives in even though they clearly don’t want to, unfortunately isn’t seen as sexual assault, and if you’re in that situation you’re told that ‘you should of stuck to your guns’. Even if you’re very dru…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 11:04 AM
2

In general people who are living the life they want seem to be the happiest. I know a lot more married women/women with kids than spinsters by a huge margin so it’s hard to really compare.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 11:06 PM
1

Maybe, still not really a significant amount of women are content creators though
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 11:04 PM
1

What link said 3.18 M creators? The first one said 2.1M but I only looked at the first two. I only like working with actual facts, while we can get numbers of the user base, there’s no real way of actual surveying how many people are considering only fans. It also doesn’t really mean anything and ‘considering’ is kind of a soft category and means different things to different people most people who joke about it will never do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 09:23 PM
33

Like married people, some are happy and some aren’t. Some have a fufilling life some don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 04:13 PM
1

On the second link it said 47% of content creators are 18-24 thoufh
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 04:09 PM
2

In my experience women over 30 tend to get different matches depending on if they have kids and how old they look. The dating experience of women I know over 30 is completely different from each other depending on those factors.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 10:57 AM
–

If all the women irl around you are in abusive relationships, you might live in a micro-culture where abuse is more accepted/typical. It’s more difficult to realise the extent of abuse if all the women around you are in similar relationships, it can very easily be normalised. We think of an abuser as being someone loud and obnoxious, but quiet men can be abusers too. Abuse is more about value systems than personality. Within my personal life, I have one friend who’s boyfriend I think is abusive.…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 10:27 AM
2

In the first link it says there are only 2.1 million content creators (not all of which will be women because gay porn exists, not all of which will be 18-24). 45% of users are from the US. 45% of 2.1 million is 945000. US female population is 164.8 M. 945000 as a % of that is 0.57%. Of course the actual % of women making content will be lower than that because male content creators exist. If there’s anything on those links specifying gender split and age ranges of content creators specifically …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 09:01 AM
–

I don’t agree or disagree with this, but if you call something a fact, I expect a source or a study at least. Maybe you should of said ‘it logically makes sense’
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 08:29 AM
36

When you get accused of acting like the opposite sex, it’s normally as an insult and to punish you for stepping out of the box you’re meant to be in. But you’re right, there’s positives to both masculine and femenine energy, and some of the best people have a good balance of both.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 08:13 PM
17

What’s the source for that? I live in a large city and am in my twenties, I know (of) one girl with an OF. Although plenty joke about it. Most people on OF make less than minimum wage, it isn’t this lucrative deal people think it is. Not everyone who tried OF has an active account, but when you compare the amount of OF content creators, to the population of the US (and spread across the other nations that use them) and without even accounting for some of the content creators being men, it’s real…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 07:34 PM
17

I don’t know any women with a porn addiction, but I do know a few that chose parasocial relationships with celebrities or fictional characters over cultivating relationships with real people. I think the effects of porn addiction vs intense parasocial relationships and maladaptive daydreaming are very different though. Porn addiction seems to have more obvious effects, such as impotency, compulsively watching porn at inappropriate times, increased aggression during irl sex, desnsitivity to irl s…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 07:15 PM
53

I’m always shocked when I see men who genuinely think that most women are on OF/sex work. I read a guy’s comment a while ago who thought that ‘80% of college girls get flown to Dubai’ (for sex I assume?) I can’t believe how out of touch some people are. Fresh N Fit just want to bring on women who will boost engagement and get views, and so the most pathetic men will pay £100 just to be able to call them whores on live streames. At least the women who go on these shows tend to triple their only f…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 02:46 PM
–

Sweet summer child
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 12:20 PM
1

Would they? We must know different people. Unless the age difference was like 30 years, most people I know would find the sugar baby situation more taboo. Definitely be more stigma if I found out an older male colleague was a sugar Daddy rather than just having a younger girlfriend. That would be scandalous.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 12:20 PM
–

I think we’re talking about different things. If plastic surgery is a scam or not is irrelevant to my point. My point is that a lot of men say they prefer natural women, however, they can’t even tell when a woman is unnatural and unnatural beauties get more positive attention, and natural traits like hair, pigmentation etc are demonised therefore if women want more male attention they shouldn’t listen to what men say they like, rather pay attention to what men are actually attracted to. My wider…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 12:17 PM
–

I don’t think most people are being intentionally dishonest about their preferences. Most men who say they like natural women think they mean it. Same as women who say they like nice men. You said you didn’t want to get into value judgements, but society does ascribe values based on who we’re attracted to (ie if you like women who have had plastic surgery or men who are gym rats/bad boys etc you’re shallow, stupid) so people tell themselves this isn’t what they’re attracted to. Maybe this is why…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 12:13 PM
–

An ugly woman could become an attractive woman because of plastic surgery. If you can’t tell if a woman is wearing makeup or has had fillers/plastic surgery, does that not prove my point that you can’t trust men when they say they prefer natural women? They don’t even know what natural women look like, and find things that are natural on women (pores, skin pigmentation, body hair) unattractive. I guess it’s similar to OP’s point but in reverse. Again, who we want to be attracted to according to …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 12:07 PM
–

Women who get plastic surgery and who wear a lot of (obvious) makeup still get a ton more attention/attraction than girls who are more natural. Men who show more attention to women wearing makeup do so before knowing what she naturally looks like. So men aren’t to be trusted when they say they prefer natural girls. If a woman wants more attention/validation she’ll get more if she’s dolled up, same as how men will get more attention if they’re buff compared to being chubby even if a lot of women …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 11:53 AM
–

I brought up men’s preferences, because I think it’s relevant to point out that the misalignment between who you say you’re attracted to and who you are actually attracted to isn’t exclusive to women. Some BBls and makeup is subtle, some aren’t. The point is that most of us have an ideal who we want to be attracted to (a nice natural girl/ A kind man with simple tastes and a good heart) and the people we actually are most attracted to. But this misalignment doesn’t come from a place of malice or…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 11:20 AM
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Neither can men, most men say they prefer natural women, but will gravitate more towards girls who have BBls, etc. and you get a lot more attention with makeup on. Most of us know who we’re ‘supposed’ to be attracted to and have a hard time admitting are tastes don’t always align with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 11:02 AM
1

Most normal people think Sugar Daddies are creepy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 10:39 AM
–

“ More than 1 in 3 men (34.1%) and more than 1 in 4 women (27.5%) are overweight.” https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/health-statistics/overweight-obesity#:~:text=More%20than%201%20in%203,who%20are%20overweight%20(27.5%25).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 10:28 AM
1

I get it can be frustrating to get less than stellar advice, but I don’t understand why people get so SO mad about it. I get shitty life advice from older people all the time who don’t understand modern work places, but I know it’s not coming from a place of malice.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 10:00 AM
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I didn’t read the body of the text because it was too long . But given that the majority of US citizens are overweight, and there are a higher % of overweight men compared to women, statistically not everyone who’s with an overweight man is a gold digger. They’re the norm now.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 09:38 AM
5

I think you’re twisting OP’s words with that response. he’s just pointing out how some men and women think they should be gaurented a good partner because they have a good job/savings/arbitrary things etc but aren’t willing to look at why they aren’t successful. A good example is the tomi lahren video from a few years back where she’s ranting that she’s unable to find a worthy man and she should be able to because she has a good career and is an alpha bitch, without considering that the type of …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 08:21 PM
10

You shouldn’t bring kids into the world unless you are your partner are stable enough together and in a relationship to support them. Regardless of age. That said, non of us are psychic and while is good to be sensible and have some sort of plan, there’s never any gaurentee things will end up going how you expected them to. Maybe it’s best to aim for a long term relationship when you’re younger but wait until your both ready to have kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 06:12 PM
1

You’re right, most people don’t care about strangers who are women either
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 06:08 PM
1

Most people don’t care about strangers, no.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 05:36 PM
1

The vast majority of people don’t care about issues that aren’t their own. Most financially stable people don’t care about the homeless, most well people don’t care about sickness unless it could effect them or their family etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 04:11 PM
3

It’s a weird one. Modern society is so individualistic with so many conveniences we don’t physically need a partner the way we used to. But on the other hand, in a lot of western places, people (men and women) have to work crazy hours just to live and make rent, which is a hardship that leaves very little time and energy left for romance and dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 01:56 PM
1

Why do you think the male suicide rate remains higher even in cultures where men have far more rights than women (such as Afghanistan)? If suicide rates are related solely to life’s hardships, why are they higher in countries with a better quality of life (ie Australia) than other nations with objectively more deprivation and hardship (Ivory Coast). I don’t want to sound harsh, I just worry that by oversimplifying the issue we won’t be able to address it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 09:01 AM
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I think the issue is that you aren’t really being good if your only doing it to get something, so you don’t get the moral brownie points of being a genuinely kind person.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/23 04:46 PM
7

I personally thinking making sweeping generalisations about people based off their sexual experience is dumb. If you don’t want to be with a man who’s a virgin that’s fine, same as men who don’t want to be with women with very high headcounts. But pretending everyone with the same sexual experience has the same personality is just reductive.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/23 11:14 AM
5

Yep. I would agree. That’s why I don’t think people who are read as highly emotional (as in, expressing extreme emotion) are usually emotionally intelligent. If there is a miscommunication, perhaps it is because I am using Emotional to specially mean ‘high expressed emotion’.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 10:30 PM
3

When I say outwardly expressing, I mean things like extreme expressions, like screaming, punching the dry wall, self harm, headbanging, starting fights, pushing or hitting, uncontrollable crying, devolving to insults, hyperbole, shouting. Things that will get you read as highly emotional. People with high emotional intelligence can communicate that they are upset or angry etc effectively without needing to devolve into extreme behaviour, especially when it would be very inappropriate. They are a…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 10:16 PM
3

I think it’s hard to discuss this, because I, and a lot of other people use the phrase ‘emotional’ to refer exclusively to outward displays of emotion, when of course someone can feel very emotional but still manage their behaviour. So someone can have a high experience and knowledge of emotion, but not outwardly seem like an emotional person, because they are able to manage their emotions more rationally.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 09:56 PM
23

I don’t think it’s a straight forward issue. Of course, women (and other men) who assume a man is automatically morally bad somehow for being a virgin (ie, creepy, misogynistic etc) are either far too subscribed to just world fallacy or just wilfully malicious. There’s a lot of moralising on Reddit, but I don’t think that’s completely reflective of real life. That said, there usually is a ‘reason’ why a man is a older virgin, whether it be religion or social anxiety poor social skills. Not every…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 09:40 PM
15

In general, I’ve honestly not noticed women being more emotional than men, they just express themselves differently. Women are definitely more tearful, but I’ve known a lot more men who’ll punch holes in the wall or start stupid fights with other guys because they think they’ve been disrespected. I’ve known very calm and highly emotional people of both genders. But I tend to agree that being emotional doesn’t mean you have high EQ. Sometimes part of EQ is knowing when to tone down your emotions …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 08:44 PM
1

Idk, there was no Big Ed representing the online dating community. He might of pushed acceptance back a few years.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 03:55 PM
2

Yeah a few sex tourists got busted recently (can’t remember if theyre from the UK or US) so that’s probably why it came to mind
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 03:51 PM
2

Yup it the trafficking /SA issues in the US also is a prevalent issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 03:49 PM
24

In general, men seem to get shamed for not being sexual enough (like he’s seen as abnormal or his sexuality is questioned, or it’s assumed he’s defective or nefarious in some way). Women seem to be shamed for being too sexual, ie, multiple partners, being too adventurous, being ‘gross or desperate’ by being to open about sexual desires, being shallow for being attracted to attractive men. These are sweeping generalisations, of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 03:32 PM
2

I never said I thought all men who go overseas to find love are like this. I just said I don’t think there’s an issue with men going overseas as long as they aren’t doing these things. Which most of them don’t. Unfortunately, we can’t go as far to say the threat of sexploitation in third world countries committed by affluent men (and women) from rich countries is cartoonish. It’s a huge industry. It probably dominates the conversation because sexual exploitation of women and children is a highly…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 03:26 PM
2

A none comprehensive list would be, making false promises to someone (esp someone who’s really poor) then leaving them, choosing to go international specifically to get with girls so young it would be illegal in your country, getting with a girl where it isn’t clear if she wants this or is being pushed into it by her family, using your higher wealth status to be overly controlling etc. I know not every relationship is like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 07:31 AM
1

I guess it depends how you look a it, a lot of men complain about not feeling desired in the relationship, so maybe we need to bear that in mind too
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 07:27 AM
5

Like I said, I’m speaking in generalisations; men still want to be seen as desirable, women still find men hot. There are plenty of men for whom being seen as desirable is just as important as being visually stimulated, and there are women who can actually get off to porn hub porn. But I’m talking broad strokes and trends. And I’m not talking about men finding fulfilment, I’m talking about what men and women get off on. And there’s clearly a difference there, as evidenced by difference in erotic…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 09:56 PM
4

Depends what you’re reading, a desirable main love interest is important too, but in nearly everything I’ve read there’s at least some sort of acknowledgement of how hot random men find the main character. In spicier stuff there’s usually at least one stalker or creeps that follow her home from the club etc. Not every woman is into this, we are not a monolith, but the desirability of the main character is central in most erotica, even if she’s not written to be typically attractive. There’s noth…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 09:15 PM
6

Both sexes have internal and external aspects of their sexuality. It differs between individuals but in general it seems females are more internal and males more external. It’s a chicken and egg thing with women being gatekeepers of sexuality, sure, that could impact how men express their sexuality, but is it not somewhat innate for women to be more choosy with partners (because of the higher cost of sexuality activity). If it is natural for women to be more choosy with partners, is the resultin…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 09:09 PM
3

Men want to be seen as desirable too so that makes sense, but the whole being desirable is much bigger in erotica. I think porn is more about physically watching and getting off on the visuals of sex. The female character being seen as desirable and overall how she is viewed is a big part of most fics, erotica
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 08:53 PM
11

Yeah I think so. Obviously in real life it would be horrifying, but the rape/nearly rape trope is super common in certain romantic fiction. In certain fiction it’s portrayed a the woman being so desirable the man can’t help himself. Obviously in real life, it’s a disgusting act of completely stripping power from another person, and is usually more about completely degrading the other person’s autonomy than desire (which is probably why prison rape, and rape in really hierarchal institutions is s…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 08:06 PM
25

I think so, I think female sexuality seems to be more ‘internal’ in a way, and male sexuality is more external. This is a massive generalisation, but I think a lot of women get off on being seen as sexy/desirable, while a lot of men get off on seeing something sexy/desirable. Men tend to watch porn more, while the erotic literature section for women is huge. Most of those books have parts about how desirable the female MC is to the men around her or love interest. I think when men expect female …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 07:53 PM
27

As long as it’s not exploitative I don’t think there’s anything wrong with marrying someone from overseas. I don’t think the ridicule of it will stop any time soon, especially since 90 day fiancé is probably the most prominent piece of media about these types of relationships. And the couples that make the most buzz are always the weird older American man/woman, with the much younger good looking person from a second or third world country. I guess it’s better than the old little Britain sketch …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 06:06 PM
13

Men who attract women using only their money are almost guaranteed to get dumped if they are no longer rich. Women who attract men using only their looks and don’t offer anything else in the relationship will also get dumped when something newer and shinier comes along. But obviously, this isn’t something that most people experience, a relationship would have to be incredibly superficial to dump someone for inevitably ageing
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 04:48 PM
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Your sex Ed seems better than mine, I remember we had dipping tampons in a glass of water at like 10-11, video of naked pregnant woman doing yoga then giving birth at 13, slideshow of stds at 14. Never did about protection. I think we did have a one-off lesson about the emotional side of sex once, that was actually a prettt good half and hour.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 02:44 PM
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There isn’t anything wrong with being an older virgin. That said, not everyone is going to be compatible with someone who suffers from socially anxiety and as you put it ‘don’t have necessary social skills’ (whether they are virgins or not). People who have these issues deserve support, but they can still be really hard work in a relationship. I’m saying this as someone who gets social anxiety, the world is not your babysitter and social anxiety mixed with a lack of social skills can unfortunate…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 07:40 AM
3

Well yeah my granddad gets drunk every other weekend. I’m from the Uk, so maybe we have a different definition of not being able to handle your drink, there’s nothing wrong with being hammered, but a forty year old should be able to get drunk without projectile vomiting, passing out and/or wetting themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 10:36 PM
6

Yeah or trying to use a diagnosis as a get out of jail free card for everything. As someone who works with people who really do have psychosis, when they have done something bad during a psychotic episode, when they get well again they don’t say ‘it’s okay I have a mental illness’ they are horrified. One of my patients pushed me once when he was really unwell. He didn’t hurt me at all . But he still brings it up and feels guilty about it years later.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 07:53 PM
6

I mean it depends. Some mistakes are expected as an older teen and a young adult, but are sad or indicative of a big problem if you do it when you’re older. A uni student drinking too much and getting is expected. It’s embarrassing if you can’t handle your drink at 40. Frequently burning your food and not being able to cook well isn’t that weird at 20, but at 30, that’s sad. Obviously youth isn’t an excuse for serious crimes though.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 07:43 PM
6

Unfortunately toxic people will use progressive movements to disguise their true toxic personalities. Feminist movement is a really good disguise people can use to be really hateful and still seem like the good guy. Mental health/wellness community is also used this way. There are certain people who use mental health speak to be hateful to people. People have been using the Church this way for centuries, justifying really awful behaviour as being part of the bible’s teachings (Ruby Frank situati…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 07:29 PM
1

What about late twenties?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 04:12 PM
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Right I forgot, cumming inside someone doesn’t get them pregnant unless your a man of status.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 10:02 AM
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This does sound really awful and I feel bad for you. But I can’t help but think that if a woman posted on here, that she was encouraged at 22 to have sex with her married 40+ neighbour and she allowed him to finish inside her, and she found out he just wanted to get her pregnant, she’d be absolutely torn to shreds.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 08:55 AM
16

A lot of women don’t always have a good idea of what men really want, and a fair few of them can’t tell good attention from bad attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 07:25 PM
1

Dishes- nearly daily, although my boyfriend probably does the big wash after tea more often. Laundry- I do most of this, but we iron our own clothes which is the worst job. Hoovering- I tend to do this a bit more, but he’ll do it when I ask. Trash- 50/50, maybe slightly more him. Bathroom- weekly. I usually do this. He tends to clean the kitchen. Cooking- technically 50/50 but his food is a lot better than mine, and if we both have the day off he’ll usually do it. It wasn’t included in the list …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 06:22 PM
2

A compatible sense of humour is important for any relationship. Not all men liked toilet humour. My bf gets more easily grossed out by that stuff than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 05:24 PM
1

Oh damn that sucks, good luck with coming to terms with it
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 04:02 PM
1

I’m also in an age gap relationship, so I know it’s not all of us. But I’ve personally never seen a girl treat a same aged partner like he’s her Daddy so I think there’s some link.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 03:15 PM
0

You’ve never heard of the Dunning-Kruger effect, have you? It’s better to be realistic about the limits of your knowledge than to pretend you know things just to suit your own agenda. Again, the most common study I see posted here says that less than 2% of men over 25 are virgins, so it doesn’t lead me to believe that most men are incels, but, as someone who doesn’t have an agenda I’m open to have that view challenged with alternative research. Do you really think the majority of ordinary people…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 12:32 PM
0

Okay, so you made an addition to my statement in your own head and then got mad about that. Makes sense. Nothing was implied. I just stated the fact of my experience. Again, I have seen plenty of studies on relationships and dating posted on here and they all say contradictory things The main one I find when I Google it says less than 2% of men over 25 are virgins. But then I see other studies that say different. I don’t have the time or energy to do a qualitative review of the validity of all t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 11:09 AM
1

If people are content living like that, that’s good for them. Everyone should find contentment. I just think the % of men doing that can’t be that great or I would notice more.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 10:56 AM
1

Yeah I mean, I guess if I count my patients I know a lot of men who don’t date, don’t really have any friends and don’t go out. But again, I’m not sure how much I can apply their experience to the general population, so it’s confusing. This sounds horrible, but I think if a man lives like that and has hardly any friends, he can’t blame women for his lack of Romaric’s success.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 08:30 AM
0

No, saying my experience doesn’t reflect the the reality OP is claiming is not an argument. It would be an argument if I added ‘and therefore OP is wrong’. Again, just because you want everything to be a argument doesn’t mean there’s an argument to be had. It’s a discussion. It’s very jarring to hear all the time online that men are abandoning women (and other things) then never see that in reality. I don’t think I’m the only one who finds that weird and wants to talk about why. These studies yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 08:19 AM
3

I think he was on about a lot of different things. I tuned out about half way through and just made my response based off his title.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 11:03 PM
6

Neither is right or wrong, you have to do what’s right for you. Sleeping with other women seems to have worked out well for you, but if a guy who really wanted to wait forced himself to, it might give him more of a complex/make sex more difficult for him in the future. For some people it might be better to wait and practice with a serious partner and get better together. Everyone is different
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 10:46 PM
5

My comment clearly wasn’t an ‘argument’ I was just discussing that my own personal experience doesn’t reflect the reality that OP is purporting (OP also hasn’t linked any studies or statistics btw). You seem like an incredibly confrontational person, so this might be difficult for you to understand, but not everything is an argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 10:26 PM
1

Unless it’s super obvious I’m never sure what’s flirting and what isn’t
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 10:17 PM
3

I wouldn’t say I live in a bubble, since I have friends and acquaintances from all different age groups and backgrounds. I’m also a community nurse, so I literally go into peoples houses. Of course, my patients have their own issues, but I’m also seeing their family, their friends, their home, etc so I think I have a pretty varied view of my local area at the very least. But on the subject of men leaving the dating scene, maybe it is happening, but it doesn’t feel like it is when single friends …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 09:54 PM
0

I’m not saying this isn’t happening, clearly the statistics are out there. But I just don’t see men irl turning away from the dating scene in such an extreme way as described in subs like this. Other than my patients, who have their own issues, I’m really struggling to think of men I know that are either single or don’t engage in the dating scene in some way, even if it’s just one night stands fwb. (I can think of just one- he has pretty bad social anxiety and has told me he thinks he’s asexual)…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 09:09 PM
9

I think it’s definitely more acceptable to just be single these days, and most people are waiting until they’re older to settle down, but I really haven’t seen men abandoning women en masse. Most men over 30 I know are in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 08:26 PM
29

I keep hearing this on subs like this but see very little reflection of it irl. Things just seem normal outside of the echo chambers on the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 07:22 PM
6

Not always, but definitely gets more likely the bigger the age gap is
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 06:25 PM
0

I think some people are just more widely compatible than others. I find this study on loneliness super interesting; Basically, they showed a group of people different emotional videos. Those who’s brain patterns indicated a different reaction from the rest where more likely to report feeling lonely, regardless of how much social interaction and how many friends they actually had; https://www.news-medical.net/news/20230628/Lonely-people-process-the-world-differently-study-finds.aspx It resonated …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 03:05 PM
15

I’ve seen this dynamic the most in relationships that have at least a bit of an age gap (usually like at least 7 years) maybe the man doesn’t complain because he’s purposefully gone after a younger woman/he chalks her behaviour up to her age, even if she’s an adult too.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 02:59 PM
2

I think 19 yr olds probably think people in their mid twenties are a lot more put together than they really are, and probably doesn’t have much experience with how harsh the economy is at the moment.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 09:50 AM
5

You have like a few weeks to change your mind, it’s not really ethical to have a 7 year abortion.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/23 09:25 PM
3

Working in the community as a nurse, there are a lot more totally isolated men than women (although the women do exist). Albeit, most of these people have schizophrenia even if they aren’t currently experiencing psychosis, so not sure if they’re a good representation of the population as a whole.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 05:47 PM
3

There’s a lot of people on these subs with very little real world social experience coming up with a lot of wild theories. I also think there’s a lot of men on here who are maybe struggling to live up to their ideal of masculinity, and they project that insecurity onto women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 05:45 PM
8

There are certain traits more associated with men, and others more associated with women. Not every woman is going to relate to them 100%, some will hardly relate to them at all and that’s okay. The stereotypical image of femininity in itself is impossible to truly live up to anyway for any woman. But it can feel a bit intimidating sometimes trying to be femenine enough. A lot of these pill debates rely on making absaloute assumptions about the nature of men/women. I doubt even super feminine wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 09:32 AM
1

Either way, religious institutions have a bad habit of trying to encourage kids to be ‘meek’ in the first way, because they are less trouble to manage. Even none religious schools encourage it, because when you’ve got 30 kids it’s easier for them to be quiet and afraid to make trouble.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 09:23 AM
20

I think the whole ‘sex is evil’ and ‘the meek shall inherit the earth so be good and obedient and don’t question authority or be too loud’ combined with ‘if you’re just a good person and a good Christian/whatever you’re gaurented a good wife’ can be a pretty dangerous combination. Especially if society around that person doesn’t conform to that world view. Christianity is the religion I’m most familiar with
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 12:44 PM
2

Yeah they all seem pretty acceptable to me, Except maybe lying about cheating if you’re looking for a relationship, because that tends to come back to bite a lot of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 12:25 PM
4

What’s an example of lies that you think are acceptable?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 11:45 AM
2

I wonder though if there are more woman chasing rich men in areas where there are a lot of really really rich man, (like London/NY etc) and where you need to be rich to have a good quality of life there.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 11:35 AM
5

Depends who the star is, like if it’s just some local musician, no way wtf, but it’s Lady Gaga or someone huge doing a lap dance, there’s no world I wouldn’t find that funny
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 10:16 AM
1

Trying to build the narrative that your country is full of beautiful healthy people can be a strong propaganda tool. (Look at Nazi Germany)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 10:15 AM
3

Do you live in an area with a lot of income disparity? Are you in a place where there are a lot of genuinly visible rich people? Who are in their 20’s/early 30’s? Just curious if this has an impact on how wealth factors in to dating
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 10:01 AM
1

I think I made it pretty clear in my original comment that ‘you just need to improve your self worth’ can’t ‘magically change things’. I was just challenging OP’s apparent viewpoint that there is absalouty no worth in valuing yourself. so I do think you’re response is a little redundant as well written as it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 09:54 AM
4

I am in the west. Women obviously do care about money where I’m from, you kind of have to, you can’t afford to live without it. I couldn’t afford to be with a partner who didn’t work, and I couldn’t live how I really want to live with someone who made a lot less than me (you know, eat everyday, put the heating on, etc). But I wouldn’t say that women are chasing rich men out here, maybe because while most people aren’t in poverty, there aren’t really any super rich men about, (compared to a huge …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 09:51 AM
13

I don’t really think these couples are choosing each other specifically because of the other’s jobs, they probably work as a couple because they have similar goals in terms of lifestyle and status, ambition, and usually are also more likely to have a similar background from a class point of view. I think it’s a compatability thing more than the men going for those women because of their jobs specifically. Also, I think some men seem to want to earn at least a little more than their wife, so mayb…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 11:46 PM
12

My boyfriend is American, he says the women there care more about money, but I’ve seen what health insurance costs a month there, I guess it’s literally life or death I can’t blame them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 11:42 PM
28

I don’t know if this is a cultural thing, but the norm in most couples I know is that men make slightly more than their wives, both have to work full time (sometimes a woman can work slightly less than that when they have a kid if they’re very very lucky) and the household bills are split. I don’t know many people who can afford to live otherwise, besides two old classmates I’m distantly connected to on Instagram who seem to have married rich.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 10:21 PM
17

Personally if I’m meeting a stranger for a date, I would not be comfortable to go to their apartment and would rather go to a pub or a coffee shop, but to each their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 06:43 PM
1

The title of the post is ‘being social does NOT help lonely men in Dating (cmv)’. How could it be interpreted any other way?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 06:40 PM
1

While the whole ‘you just need to improve your self worth’ thing can be over-emphasised and you can’t always magically improve your social status by valuing yourself more, there are negative consequences to having low self worth. Ie, a man who is catering to every whim to his girlfriend who is dismissive of him, has cheated on him multiple times etc. but he doesn’t think he’s worth any better. A woman who stays with her husband who is physically abusive to her, because she thinks that’s what she…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 05:59 PM
2

Yeah if you’re seen as ‘high value’ then you can get women with or without friends. I’m not disputing this. If you’re average looking, having a circle of friends will improve your chances of finding women because 1) it is less daunting and more socially acceptable to approach as a group 2) You can meet people through your connections in the friends group 3) if you’re seen as well-liked, it raises your social status (less likely to be seen as a ‘creepy loner’). 4) Being socially isolated and havi…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 05:29 PM
1

I don’t think most women are Demi-Sexual, but a lot of women could easily think they are because society kind of implies that our sexuality should work exactly like men’s does, where it’s super specific and quick. I find it really interesting when trans people go on cross-sex hormones and it changes how their sexuality is expressed. Neither mens nor womens sexuality is better than the other (heard people making that stupid argument for both sides) it’s just different.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 03:25 PM
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I feel like that was necessary asshole behaviour, if he was a real sociopath he would of just played along to get what he wanted. It’s better to be upfront than get someone’s hopes up about a real relationship that isn’t on the table.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 03:15 PM
1

Non of my friend’s boyfriends are friendless, all of them have decent friendship groups (besides one) and pretty much all of us where approached by them when they where with friendship groups or through a mutual friend. Your serial dater friend probably has the looks or charisma to get dates without friends, but for the average person, having friends helps. It’s not a gaurente obviously, but clearly there’s a correlation. Especially when a lot of average/below average men report dating apps and …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 03:03 PM
2

Just because it hasn’t been beneficial to you personally, doesn’t mean that proportionally, men who have friends and social connections aren’t more likely to have romance opportunities. Of course a man who has friends and connections is much more likely to get a date than a man who doesn’t know anyone or go out anywhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 12:17 PM
1

All my exes have been pretty cool though, no major issues with either them or MIL
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 07:56 AM
2

Pretty much all my exes didn’t have dads that where completely in the picture, a good amount of my friends don’t have Dad’s growing up, none of my grandparents besides one had a consistent father figure, Neither did most of their parents, the only people I can really think of with consistent father figures are my parents/Uncle/Aunts generation (Older Gen X). Maybe because I haven’t known much different, I haven’t noticed a major variation between men raised by both parents compared to single mot…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 08:37 PM
1

I think dating apps could be pretty helpful in rural areas and small towns where it might be genuinly really difficult to meet people your own age who you aren’t related to/wasn’t your friends high school girlfriend or something. There’s still scarcity even with the app in those situations so people seem to take the relationship more seriously. But in big cities I’ve never seen a net positive for dating apps at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 08:32 PM
8

Men aren’t a monolith, there are plenty of sexually successful men who are incredibly jealous/toxic and hateful towards women. There are of course incels who genuinly hate women, not just resent them, you’d be blind not to see that. Conversely, there are sexually successful men who have overall positive views of women, and technical incels who are really nice to women. I personally think men who truly hate women comes from a root of entitlement rather than anything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 01:27 PM
3

For some men with very high sex drive and lower success with hookups, maybe using a prostitute isn’t a terrible idea
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 11:50 AM
2

If you’re the type of person who doesn’t genuinely enjoy the company of others and the fulfilment of a bond with someone, then you probably wouldn’t find that the other person can bring much meaningful to the relationship. These days most of us can work and be independent and don’t necessarily have to rely on others to get things. I think people who enter relationships soley for the quantifiable perks the other person can offer them (money, sex, etc) are usually very unhappy. If you’re looking a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/23 07:42 PM
1

Would you consider being the change you want to see in the world as an older man? Would you ever consider being a mentor to younger men?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/23 08:25 AM
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I think it’s because he has drugs and some girls want to do drugs.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 02:29 PM
1

Yeah but if you look at the statistics for only fans, taking into account US population etc, it’s really improbable that a significant portion of college girls are on it, even if you assume that every content creator is a college girl (when there are male content creators and a significant amount over 25’s). There is still very much stigma/taboo against having only fans. I’m sure lots of college girls talk about having one, without actually making one. Again, the ‘quick and easy spending money’ …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 11:49 AM
1

I was worried there’d be a link to an mlm at the end of this, I’m glad there’s not. Finding the right balance in the modern world is difficult, it sounds like you’ve managed to.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 08:33 PM
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They’re all already well known though, and I’ve seen way waaayy too many articles praising Kim K and JLo for how young and youthful they look. I googled Catherine Zita Jones, it looks like her last major role is 2017, where she played Cocaine Grandma. She certainly looks sensual in some ways, but I wouldn’t exactly call it a bombshell role, seems more like character acting. Again, older women can still be very attractive and very successful with men, but society does still very much worship yout…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 08:11 PM
2

Yeah, I’m no historian, but that sounds about right.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 07:27 PM
5

Some men seem to really enjoy being platonic friends with women, others really don’t gel with us. Maybe it’s a personality thing? I was having a discussion with my friends recently about who we find it easier to get along with as friends, men or women, and we all had really different opinions.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 07:18 PM
26

I think religion was a much bigger factor back then, so there was probably more stigma around being a player, but I think men where where still probably admired for it to an extent. I think I remember reading some were that men where expected to have some extramarital affairs, but if they where sloppy about it, it was looked down upon.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 07:17 PM
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Would a kid be able to manage a team, live alone and look after themselves? No. Are 22 year olds capable of this? I was. Why would a colleague expecting professionalism and responsibility in a work place make these women uncomfortable with older men? How are they related. I also like how you conveniently ignored the glaring issue of men in their early twenties using this ‘20 year olds are still babies uwu’ mentality to justify messaging girls (or boys) under 16. Or do you think that’s justified …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 01:33 PM
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22 year olds aren’t kids, that narrative is getting really tired. You’re young an inexperienced at that age, but you aren’t a kid. I was living by myself and working a pretty high responsibility job at 22, and managing people twice my age, I was not a child. I’m 25 now and see a lot of 20-22’s coming in to the work place with the ‘I’m jwust a baby still’ mentality. They aren’t. That’s also the mentality 22 year old men use to justify messaging 16 and unders (I’m just still a kid my self uwu). Li…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 01:24 PM
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What’s insane about it? At 22 you’re mature enough not to look like a kid but you likely have no visible signs of aging. If youth didn’t contribute to beauty, then why would there be such a huge amount of money put in anti aging products? Why are most models in their late teens and twenties? (Besides the few that get famous enough on name alone to stay relevant) Why are almost all sex bomb/bombshell roles played by women in their twenties? Like I said, men still find women who are older attracti…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 12:07 PM
2

Those aren’t unreasonable requirements at all, but that doesn’t mean you are gaurenteed to find someone like that (I’m hopeful that you will though).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 10:10 AM
11

I’m a bit skeptical that story is entirely true. Maybe it was in a really deprived area or something? I was looking up some statistics for only fans and it doesn’t add up with most college girls having one. So if this story is true, it likely isn’t representative of most colleges in America. https://www.enterpriseappstoday.com/stats/onlyfans-statistics.html#:~:text=by%20Demographic&text=As%20of%202023%2C%20there%20are,male%20users%20of%20onlyfans.com.?utm_content=cmp-true Most people make less t…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 10:02 AM
4

Maybe monotone or sometimes overly expressive, hard to describe, it’s just something that marks you a different right away unfortunately.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 09:37 AM
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I do think men tend to find younger women more attractive (I think the average age most men find most attractive is 22 or something?) but the red pill vastly exaggerates how big of an impact ageing has on a woman’s dating options. I have friends of all ages, 30’s through to early 60’s who still get dates. I think maybe extremely extremely attractive young women struggle when they enter their thirties because they are no longer the very top of the dating options, but I don’t think us average wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 12:18 AM
5

I think how clockably autistic you are can unfortunately make a big impact on how you’re perceived and your social opportunities. If you speak in a tone of voice that implies you have some sort of neurodivergence people treat you really differently compared to someone who doesn’t, even if your social skills aren’t that different. People who aren’t clockably autistic also get more social opportunities growing up, so more of a chance to develop those skills. I don’t think this is the only factor t…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 12:13 AM
11

I think most of these depend on the inidividuals personality, regardless of if they are a man or a woman. I know a lot of men that have no drive to dominate in their field, and women that do. Survival skills is based off experience. Although, I will say, most inexperienced men I know seem to be worse due to unecesarry risk taking (ie, not wearing sun team when they have access to it and getting burnt, throwing the whole deodorant can into the fire to make it hotter, and getting burnt, walking a …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 06:08 PM
1

Why is he a whale?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 03:38 PM
9

Different people like different things when it comes to affection/attention from a partner. Someone who’s avoidant is more likely to be overwhelmed with lots of affection, whereas someone who’s anxious might enjoy it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 05:27 PM
1

I mean I was definitely oversimplifying, but when I think of my friends the ones who are hot, loud and club/rave a lot tend to have a higher head count (nothing wrong with that)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 05:19 PM
2

That’s an interesting point of view. I don’t think many will agree with you, but it’s certainly interesting. Are you this verbose irl or is it a special treat for redit?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 01:26 PM
1

Yeah, recording it is fine, even if it’s just staring, for the reasons you have stated. It’s uploading it to TikTok I don’t agree with. Especially just for staring. I know not everyone who behaves like this has mental health issues, but I work with mental health patients and a lot of them have been turned into local memes for acting bizarre in public and someone filming them. I think the situation has to be quite extreme to justify publicly shaming someone like that, because you can’t control th…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 01:22 PM
12

As I’ve said in previous posts, I can understand why a man would want paternity testing. But jumping through mental hoops to separate it from an accusation of cheating is also a lack of empathy. Because of course it will be interpreted that way. Life is full of hard choices. For men who insist on paternity testing, would you be okay with your partner insisting on you doing an STI test if you went on a guys trip/business trip? If yes, then congratulations, you’re not a hypocrite. If that automati…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 08:12 AM
3

I don’t think it’s that black and white, to be a rounded person you need a balance of a bit of both. I read this insight of how we teach kids (I’m going to butcher this, so hopefully it makes sense to someone). It said 15% of kids will be extreme risk takers, so as a society we often really hammer in the dangers of certain activities so those kids at least take a bit of notice (ie, don’t EVER drink underage or you’ll die, under NO circumstances have sex, if you don’t wear a helmet you’ll explode…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 08:09 PM
4

Yeah men will approach out in clubs or in public but usually they’re fine, but most intimidating encounters have been when I’m alone outside.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 08:02 PM
6

Nothing wrong with glancing at someone/checking them out. Staring does sometimes happen and it is intimidating/inappropriate, but doesn’t mean it’s okay to post videos of those men to TikTok most (but not all) men who will intensely stare you out usually have some sort of ~issues~
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 05:53 PM
3

No worries, I can see why it was interpreted that way
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 05:33 PM
2

I don’t know anybody besides the head doctor I work with who earns that much, but yeah 100k would do it, that’s more than most couples incomes combined around here
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 05:33 PM
2

I don’t know anyone who can afford to have one spouse be a house wife/husband in this economy.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 05:00 PM
1

I can see why that make some people uncomfortable, if you want to do the same sex act that’s cool, but I would probably avoid asking for too much detail about previous experiences unless she’s really into that type of dirty talk
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 04:54 PM
14

I appreciate why you could interpret what I said that way. Most men aren’t predators, but my point was more that when I’ve had the most inappropriate interactions, it’s been when I’ve been in a vulnerable situation rather than when I’ve been dressed in revealing clothes. I guess my point was that it isn’t how a woman’s dressed that encourages inappropriate behaviour as op implied. (Also, I don’t count just checking someone out as inappropriate)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 04:53 PM
5

So many songs are just about lust/attraction, maybe we’ll get some more songs about yellow submarines and magic dragons.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 01:45 PM
7

Less assaults, less families broken up through cheating, lowered rate of sti’s, songs about a wider variety of topics, shows with less porn and more plot, porn hub going out of business
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 11:44 AM
39

In reference to the previous post, I don’t think it’s okay to film and post men online just for staring at you. But if you think women only get stared at when they’re wearing revealing or expressive clothing, you’re naive. Some of the most creepy encounters I’ve had in terms of staring/persistently being hit on, is at bus and train stops when I had a big knee length coat on. It doesn’t really matter what you’re wearing as long as you look vulnerable.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 08:19 AM
4

When you asked them to do that stuff, did you say ‘maybe we could try doing xyz’ or ‘maybe we could try doing that thing you did with your ex?”
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 08:14 AM
3

It isn’t just ‘friendless dateless incels’ who are experiencing more loneliness in the modern day. Ordinary people who don’t have major social issues are as well. Because as a society we’re much less connected and much more individualised we don’t really have much of a community. It’s much harder than in the past to make those connections. Adults who struggle to make new friends are pretty common, even if that adult is social. People are much more insular. A big example of this is when a woman h…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 08:13 AM
10

Yeah it is pretty frustrating like.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 06:09 PM
3

I think people forget what community means. I have online friends I talk about anime with in discord who are nice enough, but it’s incomparable to irl connections. Online friends in another continent can’t bring you home cooked meals when you have a bereavement, you can’t sit and have a drink with them, they won’t watch your kids when you’ve had an emergency, you cant spend real quality time together. It’s also a little out of touch, because most normal people (especially over like 35) don’t hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 05:17 PM
5

Genuine question, why have you censored the word misogynist?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 03:00 PM
9

People are generally less connected than past generations. My grandparents knew everyone in their street, my parents knew her next door neighbours, I know no neighbours. That isn’t unusual for gen z/millennials. Romantic relationships get hyper focused on, but I think what really drives the loneliness epidemic is a lack of community.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 01:31 PM
3

That’s not really my point. Of course everyone can cheat. My point is that people will chase romantic partners that are likely to have the traits they personally find undesirable. Like the example I gave, the guy was incredibly upset/bothered by high head counts, but was chasing women more likely to have that. Of course, those women might of ended up being very faithful, but that’s not really the point of the discussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 08:06 AM
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I think if the man is considering a paternity test there’s no perfectly healthy way to do it. But I appreciate different people have different priorities when it comes to healthy relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 08:59 PM
1

In this economy? Nah. In the eighties maybe lol. A mistress is probably expensive enough in the cost of living crisis.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 08:27 PM
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I have intrusive thoughts myself, but mine are around health. Even though I know it’s irrational, there are times when the worries are about something specific are so overwhelming that I’ve had tests/investigations for illnesses I know nearly 100% I don’t have. You can’t help your feelings, it’s how you manage them that counts. Men who treat their paranoid beleifs about their partner as ‘real until proven otherwise’, are overly jealous/possessive and try to control their partner are much differe…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 07:36 PM
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Yeah, that’s why I wouldn’t be with someone who’s like that. If he got paranoid about the paternity of the baby, that’d be out of character for him, but I’d rather he dealt with that privately, since he’d be the one being irrational in that situation, it shouldn’t be made into my problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 07:19 PM
7

I think a lot of people don’t know how to compromise and prioritise when it comes to traits of a potential partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 06:23 PM
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We are all capable of being paranoid/preoccupied with certain things irrationally. If my boyfriend became preoccupied with the thought that the kid was not his, even if he didn’t have any reason to think I had cheated, I would personally rather he take the test secretly rather than confront me directly when I’ve just had the stress of giving birth and potentially breaking up the new family, rather than putting his own irrational fears to rest independently without bringing a new mother into his …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 06:21 PM
18

There was a post on here a while ago, complaining that every woman he started becoming involved with had a super high head count. He said these where all very attractive extroverted women he met at clubs. I gave some advise about maybe going for a girl who’s more introverted/with more average looks if a high head count bothered him that much, and he got really mad at me for suggesting he should go for ‘ugly boring girls’.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 05:36 PM
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Tbh if my partner was going to do a paternity test I’d rather he do it in secret
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 05:33 PM
1

Some are, some aren’t, there’s a spectrum of personalities across both genders. Personally I think most people these days are nice, but very few are actually kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 10:10 AM
2

I would personally say that niceness comes from weakness and kindness comes from strength.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 08:02 AM
1

Idk if there’s a bit of selection bias/confirmation bias with takes like this; Women who are genuinly after serious long-term relationships generally get snapped up pretty quickly and are out of the dating market. Whereas a lot of women who are actively dating for long periods of time possibly have some sort of attachment/commitment issue, or unrealistic expectations which leads to situations like this. In my experience most women (and men) who perpetually chase men that are obviously unattainab…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 06:28 PM
2

The fact you’re able to be fairly objective and recognise those women are mostly okay/normal people though means you’re at least more rationale than those truly chronically online who genuinely believe every woman is inherently evil and after their demise.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 06:23 PM
5

Where the women in your life bad people?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 05:14 PM
6

Yeah, I’ve read as well that outrage content and content that’s a slightly more extreme version of what the watcher’s beliefs already are get the best engagement.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 12:27 PM
2

I think maybe you’re looking at the world through a lense that’s a little too pedantic, but whatever works for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 12:07 PM
22

Yeah it’s weird how no matter what your political leaning is, if you spend enough time online you always seem to end up in a rabbit hole of black and white thinking and us vs them mentality.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 12:06 PM
4

Things don’t have to always be entirely objective. Especially when it comes to communication. To expect that is unrealistic, and there are certain traits that most people would agree are negative or make someone difficult to be around.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 09:53 AM
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Yeah, I think if you are chronically online/spend very little time socially in the presence of real people it would be impossible not to have a distorted view of what other people are like and what’s normal. Internet algorithms are aware of our bias’ and show us things that feed into this. So if your main source of info on other humans is online content, your beliefs are going to be distorted one way or another.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 09:42 AM
9

It’s unrealistic to expect people not to judge other’s personalities. Bad personality is vague, but it’s usually short hand for being overly disagreeable, unpleasant to be around or having some other glaring flaw.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 09:20 AM
1

There are just as many who seee those men as victims though.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/23 03:01 PM
1

There’s posts on here almost daily that are some variation of; women who get food paid for them are manipulative/taking advantage of men/coercive. Saying ‘some people in the red pill would agree with this’ isn’t the hot take you think it is, when most of what they believe is entirely contradictory from member to member.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/23 12:03 PM
0

I know, men do feel like they’re owed something for giving gifts and money.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/23 11:59 AM
0

It's almost impossible for a woman to "use" a man for money unless he is mentally challenged or something. CMV you either consented to give money to that person or not. Men make it sound like they're owed something in 'exchange' for the money, gifts and expenses they give, like it was prostitution. Do they not enjoy being generous?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 04:25 PM
2

I don’t think it’s true that most men will sleep with any woman. But I think there are enough men that will sleep with literally any woman that it feels like it’s true.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 03:52 PM
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Is incredibly attached very quickly even though you’re clearly incompatible, already really demanding of your time and attention when you’ve met like twice, offering OTT/inappropriate/way too expensive gifts super early, trying way, waaay too hard to do unecesarry favours, telling you they’d be okay with you doing inappropriate things, constantly apologising
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 12:21 PM
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There’s too many new micro labels already. But there is a difference between loneliness and complete isolation.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 09:16 AM
7

I personally see having no friends as a red flag in a potential partner, because it indicates an inability to maintain relationships, or that they aren’t fun/pleasant to be around in the long term. Also means you could end up being their only support system. But that’s just me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 07:53 AM
43

I think this sounds like a good way to improve your confidence and it sounds like you’re being respectful. There is a chance you could get a negative reaction one day, because strangers in public can be unpredictable, but that doesn’t always mean you’ve done something wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 03:20 PM
2

I thought this was a debate group, not somewhere to discuss weird sexual fantasies.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 10:29 AM
7

Depends on your audience, where your posting/who you’re speaking to.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/23 08:47 PM
24

I think it’s a complicated issue. Over the course of our lives a lot of us will get into relationships (romantic or otherwise) that aren’t good for us, and it can be helpful to reflect on why we did that. I’m sure most people had at least one toxic friend in high school. On the other hand, some people go too far in painting everyone who things didn’t end well with as evil, but the examples you have seem like genuine reflections. Would you have the same reaction if a man said ‘I was super unpopul…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/23 04:34 PM
3

I think men who are anxious/awkward or whatever seem to get more effected (affected?) by demonisation of their sexuality compared to actual creeps. Men who are charismatic and likeable or at least socially dominant can get away with a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/23 03:46 PM
1

While I think in general misery olympics isn’t helpful, a lot of people describe certain issues as being the the worst thing ever, or something only men/women experience, so of course that’s going to get responses of people pointing out the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/23 03:43 PM
1

‘ So yeah, everyone is in pain, everybody's struggling - there is no point in self victimization, resentment or intense deflection.’ I think part of the issue today is that anyone (man, woman, whatever) with a victim complex can get sympathy and righteous support if they know the right places to go (usually online). So this probably stops self reflection/growth for a lot of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/23 09:06 AM
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When it stops being fun or funny
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/23 07:09 PM
1

I guess it depends on the context. In general I’d say don’t cockblock your friends but. 1. Maybe that girl has a boyfriend and her friend is trying to stop her making a mistake 2. Maybe those two girls are out together and girl 1 has a history of going off with men and leaving her friend alone. (If there’s additional context to the video that disproves these two points, it didn’t load and I didn’t watch it)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/23 07:06 PM
1

Don’t get me wrong, you have a point in there about just world fallacy still being applied to blame people for their own misery. But TB is still very much a thing for a lot of people, there are still people living the dickensian lifestyle of not being able to afford to eat, keep warm, basic necessities. Even in western countries. And just like Victorian times it’s still seen as their fault they’re poor. Loneliness is still horrible, don’t get me wrong, but the demonised poor people haven’t gone …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/23 05:31 PM
2

Hey at least you guys aren’t getting tuberculosis and cholera.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/23 05:20 PM
4

I try to be impartial as best as a human with their own inherint bias can be, but I will say I see a lot more of the incel stuff that the extreme femism stuff on this sub, so that’s what I end up debating. I’d love to see a woman more women saying things that are really stupid and extreme so I could feel more balanced.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/23 05:19 PM
1

When you really like someone, then it’s normal to overthink things and look for signs. But it isn’t normal to be too obvious about this, and to get like this with every girl in your vicinity (again, most men aren’t like this, or at least aren’t obvious about it). Yes I agree it isn’t just men who act like this/women who face this kind of treatment. You get all sorts of expectations placed on you depending on your role in life (whether that’s professional or social). Like at work if you have a li…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/23 04:23 PM
0

Halo effect strikes again.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/23 12:59 PM
1

Unattractive people are perfectly capable of acting naturally too
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/23 12:50 PM
1

You can generalise without treating those generalisations like absaloutes and making them to be the ultimate evil or ultimate good.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 09:23 PM
9

I’m going back and forward on this. Initially I thought ‘treat women like an individual’ was a better descriptor, but I realised I don’t expect most men to treat me this way. Like the shop keeper, the train conductor, the guy I pass on the street, the guy who delivers my Amazon parcel etc. I don’t expect me to think deeply enough to treat me as an individual. So ultimately I would say ‘treat women like they’re human’ is better. A collective or a hivemind isn’t a human.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 09:22 PM
13

I can understand on some level why it’s difficult for men who struggle with intense isolation to just treat women like normal human beings when their acceptance or rejection can have such a massive effect on their self esteem. But that doesn’t mean that mindset is productive or healthy. As a woman it can be very disconcerting when you’ve spoken to someone a few times and then it becomes evident they’ve created this Angel or Devil version of you in their heads that’s completely removed from who y…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 08:35 PM
5

I feel like this film didn’t age well. It’s crazy that it beat Pulp Fiction at the Oscar’s or whatever
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 08:16 PM
14

Yeah I get what you’re saying, the phrase is kind of vague and up to interpretation. But I think the reason it’s so popular is because it strikes a chord with so many people. There are a lot of men that put women on a pedestal or think they’re inherently evil or treat them like a hivemind. Like they are an idea, or a problem, or a prize, or a concept rather than just another individual.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 08:01 PM
60

I think it just means treat women like they’re normal humans instead of treating them like a hivemind and either putting them on a pedestal or demonising them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 05:18 PM
3

Definitely the pick me girl. Irl a lot of pick me girls I know seem to get used by men because they think any type of attention is good, and can’t tell the difference between a man showing you attention because he’s attracted to you, or because you’re easy. (Most of the pick me girls I know irl aren’t the wannabe trad wife types, they’re the ‘girls are so much drama I’m so low maintenance I’m one of the boys’ type)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 02:04 PM
1

Men seem to hug their male friends all the time here (I live in Europe, or at least, a place that used to be part of Europe)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/23 08:43 PM
2

As they say, youth is wasted on the young.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/23 08:39 PM
2

I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who makes over 200K, I think sometimes these videos chose specific types of women and edit in specific ways because outrage boosts engagement. Not saying these women don’t exist but don’t forget the aim of online content is to get your attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/23 08:36 PM
1

I don’t think the goal is to spread discourse and mistrust but it’s certainly doing that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/23 12:07 AM
2

Maybe it’s because older men where more likely to grow up in an era where being into men was shunned. Now they can more easily be open about their preferences. Maybe some of them really are Bi, but I can see the temptation to say you are Bi rather than gay if you come out later in life, that way people can’t accuse you of lying about your feelings in past relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/23 12:02 AM
1

I don’t think the women who love bombing really works on, are always the same women who find it uncomfortable to be put on a pedestal. Most people who are good at love bombing are pretty perceptive as to which women it will work on, compared to guys who put every girl he likes on a pedestal.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 07:55 AM
5

Unfortunately most people deny your experience if it doesn’t fit with their narrative. I’ve had that from both sides. Even with proven facts and news stories people claim it isn’t true or will distort statistics just to prove their point.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 12:54 PM
1

I would say they’re worse as romantic partners/potential love interests in my experience, but I haven’t noticed them being any worse as coworkers, friends, whatever else
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 12:39 PM
1

Yeah, I wouldn’t date a very beautiful man or woman, but they’re not evil incarnate and they can be okay as friends/coworkers/etc. I just wouldn’t get romantically involved with one.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 12:20 PM
1

I don’t think extremely beautiful people are all evil or bad, but they do tend to be more entitled in my experience, unless they where ugly as a teenager.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 10:52 AM
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Id say it’s good advice then
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 08:58 AM
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How successful has this tactic been for you, op? Where there any draw backs?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 07:37 AM
3

If I see one more post on there that’s like ‘Two girls have ghosted me this year. Women, why do you always ghost people?’ Hi, yes, it’s me All Women, sorry for ghosting you. I understand we have to generalise to get any sort of discussion here, but people are only willing to deal with absaloute terms and are often unwilling to concede their experience might not to be universal. To the point where if you say ‘actually I’ve never ghosted anyone and neither have my friends’ then you’re ‘gaslighting…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 08:16 AM
2

There’s a lot of people on here who post that they want to meet a girl, but apps don’t work for them and they don’t like the club, so of course someone would suggest maybe meeting through mutual friends. If you can meet a girl independently of that, great, but not every random piece of advice people give on in the internet is going to apply to you personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 08:08 AM
1

In my community there are a lot of male-only spaces; like mens football teams (hobby teams, not professional) and other sports, mens work out groups at gym, mens coffee mornings at community centre, men’s community groups that does stuff like pool, fishing, tool stuff. Then there are activities that aren’t exclusively for men but are mostly men, like gaming groups, indoor climbing, outdoor climbing, DJing. I know we don’t live in the same area, but I only know these groups exist because of my wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 09:53 PM
–

One could argue that women pursuing men who are funny, charismatic, handsome and charming is not tradition. Tradition would be marrying a man your father promised you to, or a man in a similar station of life to you, regardless of your emotional connection to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 08:40 PM
1

I agree that I’ve seen a lot of people on here who are unable/unwilling to build friendships and relationships due to fears of the ‘what if’ It’s not always wise or possible to trust strangers you have no relationship with though. Instead, I think it’d be healthier for people to accept that rejection, disagreement or other negative outcomes are possible, but aren’t the end of the world even if they hurt a bit. Yes if you’re rejected or ignored, or whatever it’s going to hurt, but do you really w…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 07:06 PM
2

I had the opposite experience where boys and girls where treated similarly at school for far too long (like they expected us to get changed in the same room as them at like 11). Some of the boys engaged in behaviours that I don’t really want to type out, and instead of properly guiding them and teaching them it was unacceptable the teachers where like, ‘they’re just 11/12 it doesn’t mean anything’. I wonder if that badly effected those boys in later life, idk? In general, society is much more pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 10:24 PM
5

Here’s my theory; I think there’s a selection bias; people who spend a lot of time on Reddit, especially subs like these, are more likely to be introverted and over thinkers, so less likely to be approaching strangers. I don’t know anyone who’s a extrovert who spends a lot of time debating gender politics on Reddit. Sometimes I look at the accounts of people posting here, and they usually post about have social anxiety or something similar.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 10:17 PM
7

How are you going to ‘wake women up’? How are you going to stop women from choosing the more handsome, funny charismatic men? How will that level the dating playing field?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 10:11 PM
12

Did you have an idea for a soloution or not? If not it’s okay, but not sure the relevance of your comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 12:38 PM
10

This all does sound very difficult. I think an increased awareness of these issues can help somewhat, but are there any actual solutions? I think even if women lowered their expectations, some men just are a lot more naturally charismatic or handsome, or confident and they would still have the edge when it comes to dating. Sometimes awareness isn’t everything. I’m aware of the halo effect, but it does unfortunately still influence me
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 12:29 PM
1

People don’t like to admit if they where wrong. Before the main court case it was he said she said, but the majority of the support was for him. I think men being abused by women get more support than they used to. Back in the day it was more acceptable to hit women, so you were seen as weak for ‘not fighting back’ whereas now most reasonable people understand that a man fighting back could get him into trouble, so they have a lot more sympathy for him. The thing that’s still almost universally …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 12:25 PM
0

Yes you’re right. There weren’t protestors outside Depp’s UK trial on his behalf, I made that up. All the sites reporting on this are actually websites I created in order to spread fake news.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 10:03 PM
2

Terry Cruz (might be the wrong guy if so I’m sorry) but sure he came out and said he was assaulted by a producer years ago, and he had a lot of support but a lot of people treated it like a joke. He’s always denied it’s happened but there’s always been jokes about Makauly Kulken getting SA’d by MJ. Even if that didn’t happen that’s pretty diabolical.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 10:01 PM
13

I think there’s a few reasons for this, one of them being, a lot of women really don’t know about the scale of male loneliness; Most normie women my age (20’s)wouldn’t even know what an incel was, most of them assume men get a similar number of matches on sites, they aren’t spending there time looking at dating, relationships and marriage statistics. The men they see day to day or are mutual friends with are usually in relationships/have friends have social connections because they’re already fr…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 02:24 PM
3

Just because someone doesn’t agree with every thing you’re saying doesn’t mean they don’t get it. Have fun talking to the wall I guess, at least it won’t be able to disagree with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 02:11 PM
4

I would personally argue there’s still a bias against a lot of abuse victims, especially if they aren’t the ‘right’ kind of victim, but men definitely struggle to get support. My point was that the Depp case is not a good example of this. The majority of people where always on his side. Probably because of who he is, but he’s still a bad example of the public not caring about mens abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 02:03 PM
3

My point was that Johnny Depp was a bad example to use to illustrate that point. It doesn’t feel like our points are antithetical to each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 01:59 PM
-1

Even when Johnny lost his court case in the UK, he still had a ton of supporters and people protesting outside the court room on his behalf. There where millions of suppports and videos even before the big main case. I stick by that Depp is a terrible example to show ‘nobody cares about male abuse victims’. It was in the media for months and for most of it, most people where on his side even pre court case.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 01:41 PM
7

Lots of people where on Chris Brown’s side when he beat Rihanna. They said she shouldn’t of been shouting(?) at him if she didn’t want to be hit. Of course it was a court case so Amber’s team had to come up with a defence. Do you think they’d just sit there and admit she was fully an abuser? In cases of male DV perpetrators they often use work stress, alcohol abuse and sad childhood as a mitigating factor,
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 01:40 PM
8

So now your point has changed from ‘ Johnny Depp case is evidence that NOBODY supports male abuse victims to ‘There are SOME people on Amber’s side’. Like come on dude, we all know people on Amber’s side are the minority, stop changing goal posts.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 12:49 PM
1

Being cooperative does not make you a hivemind. Having an overlap of interests does not make you a hivemind. I think men on here would get less frustrated if they didn’t treat women like a hivemind.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 11:34 AM
15

Where you offline during that? Did you miss the dozens of support groups, thousands of videos and people voicing their support, millions of people meming and lip syncing Amber’s testimonies as a joke, Hollywood celebrities choking their support, protestors outside the court room on behalf of Johnny every day etc. Maybe there is an argument that male DV victims get less support but that’s a really bad example.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 11:14 AM
0

I think given facebooks record the group would probably also just be removed it was men, but there would be a bigger outcry publicly. I work in the community and see domestic abuse going both ways. You do end up getting more worried for the female victims because they tend to get much more badly hurt. I’m not saying it’s right to have that bias but I’m only human and your experience shapes your mind set if you want it to or not. Police in my experience aren’t very supportive to either male or fe…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 11:11 AM
3

But the original post is about mens interest and video games. You keep hinting vaguely about this great attack men are under without really even explaining it, so what else am I able to discuss? It really wasn’t clear that you were talking about anything different from OP. You need to be more specific if you want to discuss something else, otherwise I’m not going to know we changed topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 10:56 AM
3

I’ve seen a lot of men, over a long time, saying the exact same things. But I’m not stupid enough to think that means they are anything close to a hivemind.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 10:53 AM
2

Yes that is exactly the point I was making and you haven’t misinterpreted it all you. You have excellent reading comprehension.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 10:47 AM
7

I haven’t changed the subject. The original post is about how men are demonised for their common interests (video games, sports). I pointed out how every hobby/interest has its critics, and feminine issues are specifically seen as dumb/useless, but that doesn’t mean all men hate women and their interests. I’m not denying there are some corners of society than demonise men (and that is an issue) but you’ve said that you think it’s logical to think that ‘women as a broader class hate men for their…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 12:54 AM
2

Sure, I made it up, because as we all know, media that teenage girls like(d), such as Twilight, Justin Beiber, boy bands, Barbie (pre movie), princesses, selfies, tiktok dancing, wearing makeup is all held in such high regard and not at all seen as superficial or stupid, and hyper feminine women are never consistently portrayed as either dumb or alpha mean girls. And of course, boys bullying girls never happens because every boy in high school views ever one of his female peers as a potential gi…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 12:29 AM
4

You literally quoted my ‘nor would I expect them to’ (defend women’s interest) then typed up a whole reply about why I shouldn’t expect men to defend mens interests. Why? I only brought up that I hadn’t seen men defending women’s interest because you got angry about women not defending men. I don’t blame you for not recalling how feminine interests are demonised because it wasn’t targeted at you, and it’s so accepted that it isn’t really seen as an issue. But think of anything that girls, partic…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 12:12 AM
4

Some women find those hobby’s disgusting and actively hate them, some thing they’re distasteful but don’t dedicate a lot of thought to it. Others probably really don’t care. There are men who hate women or hate that women go clubbing, drink, post selfies etc, but I don’t see the point in sitting around getting mad at it or pretending it means all men hate women.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 10:45 PM
9

It’s not nice having your interests judged. As I teenage girl in the 2010’s, I know from first hand since everything that teenage girls like was seen as stupid, superficial and dumb. Like remember how hated Twilight was, ‘still a better love story than twilight’ is still a meme. And Justin Beiber? I remember there was like a million FB groups about how dumb his fans where. Kardashians, TOWIE etc where all seen as shows for idiots. Dumb entertainment for men (like the latest Michael Bay movie) wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 10:27 PM
9

If you can understand why women acting like they speak for every female is illogical, why does the same not apply for men acting like women are a hive mind. There are always random people who get mad that people aren’t interested in the specific things they think they should be interested in; religious people get annoyed when you aren’t interested in their god, adults get mad when their kids are interested in tiktok instead of school work, old men get mad when you’re interested in pop music inst…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 10:10 PM
2

Right regardless, can we all agree if your talking about laxer laws in relation to sex tourism in south east Asia you should be specific what you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 06:22 PM
56

Did you ever have a favourite teddy bear as a kid that was just a normal teddy but you wouldn’t trade for anything? Not even the newest shiniest toy that came with a voice box.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 06:00 PM
14

I think it depends on how serious your relationship is. If you’ve been together only a few years, I can see massive weight gain becoming an issue serious enough for a breakup (not sure if I agree with it or not but whatever But if you’ve been with someone like 10+ years and it’s a serious long term relationship, and you’re wanting to build a life together, have children, grow old, then you need to accept that both of your bodies are going to change. You aren’t going to be young, attractive and h…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 05:52 PM
3

I think New York is it’s own unique ecosystem when it comes to dating
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 05:24 PM
3

I think he may mean prostitution (hopefully with adults)? OP Please clarify, you can’t say you go to south east Asia to do sex tourism because there are ‘less laws’ and not be incredibly clear what you mean
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 05:22 PM
21

If you are a man who is uncomfortable with a woman who dresses provocatively/sexy in public, why would you chose to date an actress/celebrity, then publicly shame her?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 05:19 PM
17

I just don’t know why you’d chose to get with a celebrity/influencer if you are uncomfortable with her wearing sexy outfits. And to publicly shame her like that, massive red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 05:16 PM
58

Any type of lifestyle, choice, interest etc will be criticised by someone. I just find it really strange how many posts on here just basically boil down to ‘some women criticised something online so all women must hate xyz’. I cannot imagine living my life that bothered. People who are truly obsessed with things like video-games and porn (like to the point of addiction) are judged by most of normal society, not just women.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 05:14 PM
5

My assumption sexual relationships with minors Like I need to know what does he mean there’s ‘less laws getting in the way’ what laws? 😭😭
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 05:07 PM
9

‘Works in south east asia where there aren't too many laws getting in the way.’ OP what do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 02:03 PM
1

I don’t personally use the word incel as an insult for that reason. But the word is tainted now, when I hear incel I don’t think ‘person who can’t find sex/relationship’ I think maniac on the internet who hates women. Incel ideology is a very specific form of misogyny. But I know there are a lot of men out there who are technically ‘incels’ who are now probably unwilling to use the phrase to self-describe because of the association. On the other hand, maybe the less words available to categorise…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 02:00 PM
2

I think it’s very smart for the powers that be to keep us blaming each other for our misfortune when we’re all on the same sinking ship.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 12:40 PM
1

I think technical incels who don’t relate with online crazy incels deserve their own new word.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 08:19 AM
15

As it is now, risk of maternal death and complications is still incredibly high in the US. It’s pretty much impossible to live on a one income household. Maternity leave in the US is nearly non existent and childcare is expensive. And they wonder why less people are choosing to have children.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 07:15 PM
1

I have a really hard time believing that anyone can think Margo Robbie and Henry Cavil aren’t beautiful. But there are other celebrities that other people think are super attractive that I just genuinely can’t see (like Hallie Beiber or Bella Hadid). And everyone makes fun of Pete Davidson for being ugly but he looks super super attractive to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 07:11 PM
5

I personally think it comes down for personality more than gender. Some people are just more prone to falling in love
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 12:01 PM
1

‘Not sure how this is supposed to make a difference as the overall outcome is the same’ Movies, tv shows and other media do have themes, messages and truthisms throughout them besides just the end message you know. They unintentionally tell kids a lot about the world and what’s seen as normal. If the only message you get from media is the explicit ending message then you probably have very poor media literacy. That’s not necessarily your fault but it’s unfair to blame society for ‘lying to you’ …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 07:58 AM
2

My actual boyfriend wouldn’t. But I’ve known plenty of decent men who are a bit clueless when it comes to clothes/realising when they look sloppy. A guy wearing a shirt he doesn’t realise is creased isn’t necessary disrespectful, and his girlfriend telling him to iron it or change it before dinner isn’t necessary controlling. Things aren’t always as extreme as people on the internet make them out to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 08:31 PM
1

I don’t remember saying anything about it being okay for men to order girls to change clothes? Please don’t put words in my mouth.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 08:28 PM
2

Is it though? If my boyfriend wanted to dress like a slob for an important family dinner I wouldn’t be comfortable with that. I don’t think that’s an unusual way to feel.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 07:53 PM
2

I don’t think it’s completely unreasonable for a man not to want his woman to dress super provocatively, but it isn’t a black and white issue. What’s seen as provocative dress varies a lot even amoung the west. There’s a difference between a man who doesn’t want his girlfriend to dress in a way that is so extreme it’s embarrassing compared to not wanting his girlfriend to look good/sexy at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 07:29 PM
–

It would cause more controversy than the app can be bothered to deal with. Height is a lot more straightforward than weight. 75kg is going to look a lot different depending on your frame and where you carry it. Weight is a lot easier to lie about than height. Personally I’m not sure how I feel about height filters or any sort of filters that tune out a specific aspects of a person’s appearance but those are probably the practical reasons as to why there isn’t one for weight.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 06:33 PM
1

A lot of lads around ours can ride their bike and text with both hands on phone at the same time time, it’s actually kind of impressive, I haven’t seen any accidents yet
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 05:30 PM
1

That’s a level of multitasking I can only dream of
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 03:42 PM
1

Yeah I think I went on like 2 dates in high school, because kids are poor and awkward.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 02:38 PM
2

It’s a balance. I think it can be good to be prudent and not be too naive on the modern dating scene, but I think a lot of the vitriol on here is way too negative in the extreme. Like ‘there’s no point trying dating because you’ll end up forever alone anyway, and if you do get a girl she’ll be a landwhale and cheat on you with chad and kill your dog, so there’s no point even trying, just stay where you are. Never think things are getting better’ If you feel like it’s genuinely impacting your hop…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 08:37 AM
1

That makes sense. But idk why you’d apply your experiences to a mostly western group of OP is
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 08:26 AM
2

Mostly agree with you, but Jesus. Armed robberies? That’s pretty extreme. I don’t think that was the norm around here even in the 60s/70s. Maybe that’s why we don’t have zero tolerance policies for violence in most schools (even if the uniform rules have gone draconian)
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 08:25 AM
1

The beauty and the beast example is pretty good, because it shows that Gaston is the most popular guy in the village for being athletic and confident(arrogant). Belle chasing beast is seen as a subversion by the people around her. Sure, TV is fictional, but most kids pick on up tropes and themes constantly in TV and media. Especially if it’s reflected in real life. To use my example again, I was always told ‘looks don’t matter’ but clearly I could see on TV that being beautiful was important and…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 08:21 AM
2

Trad-Wife is a really specific role, whereas trad husband is more nebulous. A man is going to be defined more by what his job actually is than the fact he is a provider. I guess there are men than are technically trad husbands with traditional ideals, but it’s just not as marketable as a niche
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 09:06 PM
22

I don’t know many adults past 21 that haven’t been on a date. Are you in the 18-20 category?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 08:58 PM
1

Yeah, I would agree that even now men from different races are more likely to be perceived as dangerous or negatively. And there’s probably even more factors I haven’t even thought of. That DARVO tactic makes a lot of sense I’ve definetly seen that play out with all sorts of issues. It can be frustrating feeling like you’re not being listened to, but I still think there’s merit in trying to stay reasonable and not resorting to extreme hateful stuff. All these posts about women being inherintly d…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 08:56 PM
0

Your original post was about ‘we where never told that confident and successful men are popular with women’ I gave examples of why that was not the case and those types of men are everywhere in media. Now you have changed the goal post from ‘successful with women’ to ‘happily married’. Two different things. You do have to be a nice person to be happily married. But what makes a happy marriage and what makes a successful ladies man are two different things. ‘What adults say in real life trumps wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 06:49 PM
6

I’m the last generation that can tell the time on an analogue clock.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 06:34 PM
2

I know a few walking red flag /extremely dangerous guys that always have girlfriends. But the girls in question are usually from abusive homes, and/or have some sort of mental defecit or mental illness and/or have addiction issues and on the same drug scene. But these are on the extreme end of walking red flags (like, being on tag, being on lisence, being recently released from prison, known gang member, violent begger.) On the less extreme end, I see friends consistently go after men that I see…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 06:31 PM
1

Without giving away my local area, we have a pretty active mens mental health group, and a really good community centre exclusively for men that offers groups, counselling, support with empoylment stuff. I do empathise with what you’re saying about feeling like unless you’re parroting exactly the dogma of whatever femenist doctrine they’re following you’re ‘in the wrong’. I see the other side of that here, where even if I’m making a fairly reasonable point, unless I’m word for word following the…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 06:24 PM
65

I genuinely think people are more lonely these days. Men probably more so. I don’t think the reasons for that are straightforward, but we aren’t as connected as we used to be in terms of community. My grandparents knew everyone on their street, my parents knew all their immediate neighbours, I’ve spoken to like 1 neighbour. People’s social skills are generally worse. I’m 25 and I know we’re generally less social than older people, but kids 18-20 I’m starting to see in work are next level, extrem…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 06:18 PM
3

‘Even if you don’t lead with Vitriol, you get treated the same way’ I don’t believe that. Any movement will have detractors. But I gaurente incel and certain mens groups would not be the punchline they are now if they didn’t constantly come out with the most insane and hateful stuff. As a woman, if I made a post saying ‘sometimes it’s hard being taken seriously in leadership roles as a woman’ that would get a lot more positive discussion than if I put ‘men are ignorant twats who are always looki…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 05:12 PM
1

10
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 11:03 AM
2

How? It’s a practical question about rings. There’s a right and wrong answer about what a ring needs to be to be durable for everyday use, as you have demonstrated. The price of that ring is going to vary depending where you buy it from and what country you are located in and the current price of gold.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 09:51 AM
3

Well you do sound like you know more than rings than me, but what has this got to do with gender politics?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 09:06 AM
2

Answering this in terms of how much you should spend if you want a ring durable enough to wear daily, for marriage or whatever reason. If seen them for like £100 at the cheapest. That was at an antique store. Also when it comes to stone, it shouldn’t have to be a diamond, I’ve seen some really beautiful amethyst, tanzanite etc rings honestly they look more unique and pretty and you get much more gem on the ring for a fraction of the price. I think antique or second hand rings are worth getting i…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 08:33 AM
1

In what ways specifically? A lot of the issues I see posted about on here aren’t something I see prevelantly in real life. I don’t doubt it’s happening but I’m aware it’s a global group.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 07:00 AM
4

Yeah if a man is confident and socially dominant enough, then he can usually get away with being an asshole. Ironically, the do’s and donts of social etiquette seem to be applied more stringently to people who don’t already fit in.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 06:49 AM
2

Thanks, I use the mobile website only, but through browser and not app. I’ll keep refreshing, thanks
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 10:58 PM
26

This sub has made me realise that the overly vitriolic ‘kill all men/all men are pigs’ etc is never going to help women’s issues be addressed or further femenism. I see a lot of posts on here about how all women are deceitful, delusional, entitled, stupid but also master manipulator frigid whores. At the heart of a lot of these posts are genuine male issues; loneliness crisis, a society that is incredibly ableist and elitist, distortions of social media, but because so many posts are so vitrioli…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 10:55 PM
2

Yeah, I keep getting a notification that I have a message even when I’ve opened all my messages as that glitch ever happened to you and do you know how to fix it?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 10:22 PM
2

You’re not wrong, but I think when it comes to mindsets sometimes it helps to pick one that’s going to be beneficial to your goals rather than the most brutally bleak one. It can be hard balancing validating someone’s struggles but also not feeding in to negativity that is going to keep them there. I do genuinely know a lot of late bloomers and I think it’s more prevalent than we think, it’s just embarrassing to talk about. I don’t think your life has to be over just because you had a slow start…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 09:54 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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