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MindsetsForDating Archive

View 0 posts and 55 comments by MindsetsForDating on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Escalation is good. It clearly states to her that you want something more than a friendship. What happened with the rejections? Do you remember how you talked to her and what you said? Also, how many times did you try before you stopped going?
/r/seduction11/02/25 05:33 PM
1

If you're living in a country where few people look like you, you won't see too many couples that look like they have the relationship you want. It reinforces your beliefs that you can't go up and talk to women there. Were you sexually escalating on the dates at all? Going for a hug, kiss, or anything of that nature? I see that you said that you have a constant fear of brown men approaching, but what happened when you tried to approach them?
/r/seduction11/02/25 05:00 PM
9

What are you saying to women when you're carrying these conversations? Is it possible that you're avoiding the possibility of being rejected by never taking a chance with these women? Is there something that convinces you that women do not want sex?
/r/seduction05/12/24 04:28 PM
4

Focus on the things that you can change and change the things that boost your self esteem. If you think you need to be more fit, focus on the gym. If you are horrible at holding a conversation, work on conversation skills. Improve yourself so that you're the best version of yourself that you can be.
/r/seduction13/11/24 01:49 PM
1

Tell me why you're trying to leverage ambition to get second dates. Many more things about you are attractive than just your ambition, and I'm curious about the meaning behind this.
/r/seduction08/11/24 10:50 PM
1

Would you consider yourself to be harsher on yourself than anyone else? People tend to forget that our perception of reality is not everyone else's. Two people can have the same interaction and come away with entirely different interpretations. Focus on improving one or two things at a time (conversation, eye contact, physical touch, etc.), and things will improve.
/r/seduction08/11/24 10:37 PM
1

I'd love to help, but I'd need more info. Would you happen to have any idea what you did wrong? What happened when you brought the woman back to your buddy's? Was your buddy there, or were you alone? How long did you spend with her? Whatever the answers to these questions are, analyze what is working and what isn't and focus on improving. You got this man!
/r/seduction08/11/24 10:28 PM
1

I just left the phone settings in auto. I made sure the places used had good lighting, took a lot of photos, and chose the best ones.
/r/seduction08/11/24 08:54 PM
8

Why do you want to build that level of intimacy as fast as possible? What is your ultimate goal? Also, have you read the 36 questions to fall in love? Before I met my partner, I would always have a couple of these questions in my back pocket for lulls in the conversation. I still encourage guys I coach to use the positive questions that resonate with them. Don't hesitate to message me if you'd rather chat that way. I want to help where I can.
/r/seduction07/11/24 10:58 PM
1

Definitely not. You can always move the goalpost and say, "I'll work on cold approaching when I have X, Y, and Z!" and keep adding to that list. Work on your approaching skills now while you're also working on improving yourself. Feel free to reach out if you need help or want to chat. You got this!
/r/seduction07/11/24 10:52 PM
19

That vulnerability will build emotional intimacy, and it takes time. Giving the person a bit of your personal story and likes and dislikes helps create that vulnerability. At what point in the dating process do you expect that level of vulnerability with a person?
/r/seduction07/11/24 10:43 PM
17

What do you mean by "make myself more vulnerable"? Depending on what you're looking for here, many different avenues exist.
/r/seduction07/11/24 10:29 PM
1

I just walked around, considered places where I would actually be (like on a couple of trails around my town), and took pictures there. I wanted the photos to represent me well.
/r/seduction07/11/24 09:42 PM
-2

Magnetic by Tripp Kramer
/r/seduction27/10/24 08:40 PM
2

It means you don't have a choice in who you are attracted to, and other people don't have a choice in whether or not to be attracted to you. Once you figure out how to put yourself out there the best way you can, you will start attracting people, regardless of your beliefs.
/r/seduction27/10/24 08:24 PM
1

When you're working on improving your approach, you want to go for volume. The more approaches you do the faster you will improve. Clubs and bars are some of the best places for volume because they are usually more social places. Carving out a time in your schedule where you dedicate some time, even an hour, a week to approach will do wonders. As far as where to approach, where is there a large number of women walking around? You also want to get into the habit of approaching while doing casual …
/r/seduction25/10/24 08:45 PM
2

That's a possibility. When we don't escalate with women, they do become confused about what we intend the relationship to be. I wouldn't focus on why she ghosted, though. What did you do right during that date? Did you learn anything during that interaction? Unless you can put a pin in something you did to make her ghost you, focusing on the other things is more important.
/r/seduction25/10/24 08:32 PM
1

What's stopping you from reaching out to either of these women to set up a date?
/r/seduction25/10/24 08:24 PM
3

The house party vibe is a good one to socialize in. The way you proceed depends on what you want to happen. Are you trying to have a one-night stand? I would escalate and move things to a more private location or suggest going back to your place. If you're not ready to leave and want to mingle more with other people, then do that, and don't try to get physical with the ladies. Again, what do you want your outcome to be?
/r/seduction25/10/24 08:16 PM
1

To help you improve, we need to know what you're comfortable with. Can you go out and hold a conversation with women you don't know? Can you approach groups of women, but don't know how to close? What are your sticking points? Tell us, and then we can give you some more tailored guidance. If you need anything, don't hesitate to reach out to me. It's a process to get back into it, but you will. You got this!
/r/seduction25/10/24 08:09 PM
1

No. Just tell her that it was nice talking to her. You can bring up something that you two talked about during your approach. After she responds, use texting to set up a date, not to get to know her. A lot of communication is lost over text messages, so you want to get to know her in person.
/r/seduction25/10/24 08:06 PM
1

Have you set up another date with her?
/r/seduction25/10/24 08:03 PM
6

You'll never have a definite answer until you build sexual tension and go for it. Did you try to go further with either of these women after the conversations?
/r/seduction25/10/24 07:59 PM
13

You only want to give validation if there is something you want to validate. If you felt the need to compliment a woman, I would focus on something that she put effort and time into, like how her shoes match her purse, and not something that naturally occurs, like how pretty she is.
/r/seduction25/10/24 07:57 PM
1

Your personality matters a lot more to women, so it can offset what you consider bad looks. We men are harsh raters of ourselves. There are a lot of reasons a woman would walk away, and there isn't much information in your post to point to anything in particular. Keep doing the approaches. Analyze what's working and what's not working for you. If you need any tips on this, don't hesitate to message me. I'd be happy to help.
/r/seduction25/10/24 07:54 PM
1

You could have ended with, "You seem pretty cool. How about you put your number in my phone, and we grab a drink sometime?" As you say this, you hand her the phone. If she puts her number in your phone, you use texting to set up the date, not to get to know her. You want to do that in person. If she declines to put her number in, tell her it was nice meeting her and wish her a good day. I help guys with casual conversations all of the time. If you need help with anything else, don't hesitate to …
/r/seduction25/10/24 07:29 PM
1

You can definitely be successful with women. You just have to figure out a few things. Conversation is a skill, and you can learn it. You said that you are boring. Do you believe your life is boring, or is this a review from someone else? Are you boring by choice? Are there things you would like to do and aren't doing for some reason? Are there positive changes you can make in your life to make life less boring? If you need any tips or advice, don't hesitate to reach out. You got this!
/r/seduction25/10/24 02:44 PM
5

Awesome man! The fastest way to learn is to get out there and get out of your comfort zone. How long were you talking to the one you asked for a date? The numbers you get and their reactions to you are secondary to what you're learning about yourself and getting better at doing.
/r/seduction23/10/24 08:22 PM
2

You can go that route. There aren't any rules, just best practices. The initial in-person date is to determine whether you'd even want to spend more time together. That's why I always suggest drinks or coffee first, so you can sit and get to know each other. How was the vibe between you two on your last date?
/r/seduction23/10/24 05:35 PM
6

You did well with the time constraints. I would plan a small activity for the next date, like mini golf. If you want to see her again after that date, make sure you go in for a kiss. Women get very confused when they like you, you go on multiple dates, and you don't even attempt to kiss them.
/r/seduction23/10/24 05:23 PM
2

I would develop a routine so you build the habit of approaching. I developed a habit for myself that whenever I saw a woman who I might be interested in, I would count to three and just approach. I'd think of something to say along the way. I practiced getting good at talking about random things in my surroundings so I would be able to quickly bring up something in a conversation. I also use active listening techniques to never run out of topics. If you keep doing approaches, you will get better…
/r/seduction23/10/24 03:08 PM
7

Did you warm up at all? Before I or anyone else working with me goes out and does cold approaches, warming up by just conversing with random people gets the conversational part of the brain going. Counting to three and just going for it helps ease my mind. If I try to take time and plan how to do an approach, my mind comes up with a million reasons why I shouldn't go, and I never make a move. If you need help getting better at this don't hesitate to reach out.
/r/seduction23/10/24 02:15 PM
1

This was a good interaction. The only thing I would have done differently was tell her that it would be better to text, and I would have sent her my number. If she had a high level of interest, she would have texted you.
/r/seduction23/10/24 02:06 PM
1

How many times have you approached women you didn't know in order to pursue a relationship with them? There are steps you can take to better your odds. Also, if you're battling some feelings regarding your family, you may want to consider therapy to work through those emotions.
/r/seduction23/10/24 01:28 PM
1

You mentioned that you feel alone twice in your post. I'm curious as to what your average day looks like. Also, what do you want from your dating life specifically? If you're having sex every week, do you want to move one of those partners into a relationship? You also say that you're scared of clubs and night game. Depending on what you want, they can be some of your best avenues to increase your volume. I can sum things up by figuring out what you want and going for that, but I can only specul…
/r/seduction22/10/24 07:47 PM
-1

Is your end goal to have a date? If so, you want to avoid having a long conversation on the apps. You want to talk in person because that is how people connect. You want to have just a few easy back-and-forths. Ask this or that questions like, "Would you rather spend an evening having dinner on the beach or at a rooftop restaurant in a city?" After three or four of these, say something like "How about you and I text each other off of the app? It's easier than back and forth on here." Send her yo…
/r/seduction22/10/24 05:23 PM
1

You say that you haven't been interested in years. Have you tried to put yourself out there in those years? What does opening up to a woman look like to you? Don't be embarrassed about your current situation. Accept it and do what you can to change it. I hope that this helps. If you need any advice, don't hesitate to reach out.
/r/seduction22/10/24 05:14 PM
13

Focus on three types of pictures: One that clearly shows your face, like a headshot from the top of your head to your shoulders One that clearly displays your physique. I'm not talking about a shirtless photo. You need one that lets her see how your body looks. One that shows you performing some activity that you like. Reading a book, weightlifting, hiking on a trail, etc. Make sure that you're the only person in your photos. You can use a tripod. I actually used a magnetic one with a Bluetooth …
/r/seduction22/10/24 04:11 PM
3

Three basic things to remember about flirting: Things you wouldn't say or do around your male friends because they may think you're coming on to them is a good indicator of something that would be considered flirting with women. Tease. Playfully give the woman a hard time. When you combine 1 and 2 above, you have a form of flirting. I don't work with the guy, but Todd V Dating has an excellent video titled how to flirt on his YouTube channel. Practice will make you better. If you need any other …
/r/seduction22/10/24 04:02 PM
1

If you don't have anything planned, go on the day that works for both of you. I recommend my clients ask what day the woman is free to avoid situations like this. If you need any other tips, don't hesitate to reach out.
/r/seduction22/10/24 03:42 PM
2

Those boring things you talk about are relevant, so you should talk about them at some point. What you want to change is how you talk about these things. Instead of asking where she is from, you can assume that she's from the city you're in. You can ask, "Are you from (whatever city you're in)?" Whatever she says, don't follow it up with another question. Make a statement about what she just said. If she says she's from Chicago, you can tease her by saying, "Oh crap. That means you're a Bears fa…
/r/seduction22/10/24 12:39 AM
2

For the first example, ask for her number anytime you and the woman are about to part and she's not going on an instant date with you or headed back to your place. Make it a statement like, "You seem pretty cool. How about you put your number in my phone, and we go out on a date sometime?" Then, hand her your phone with the contact page already pulled up, so all she has to do is type in her name and number. For the second example, what did you want to happen? I'd like to know what the conversati…
/r/seduction22/10/24 12:05 AM
1

Anybody that ghosts you doesn't deserve your attention. It's a hard mindset to get into, but when you're ghosted, know that that person just helped you filter and put you one step closer to finding someone who will not do that, and who will be very interested in you. Keep going. You got this!
/r/seduction21/10/24 07:30 PM
1

I'm now stealing "text-pectations" with your permission, good sir! :D I've always recommended that conversations be minimal over text in the beginning stages of dating. You were probably busy, and she hadn't texted you in those two days. You didn't ignore her; the next date was set relatively soon. You did everything right. Yes, some women will like to text more, but you've already stated that "less is more" when it comes to that. It looks like you just found someone who wasn't a good fit for yo…
/r/seduction19/10/24 12:09 AM
3

You're not cooked until you're cooked man. Excellent job on approaching in the first place! Being out of the dating scene means getting back into it, which takes a little time. The fastest way to get better is to do it. Please let us know how it goes, and if you need any help, don't hesitate to reach out! You got this!
/r/seduction18/10/24 11:44 PM
1

Three major things to remember about flirting: Man to women comments. Things you wouldn't say to your male friends. Tease. Playfully give the woman a hard time. When you combine 1 and 2 above, you have flirting. I don't work with the guy, but Todd V has an excellent video on the topic on his YouTube channel.
/r/seduction17/10/24 11:09 PM
2

Single women can be found everywhere. I do tell clients to look at places where people go to be social, though, like bars, clubs, and events. The more options you have, the more you can put yourself out there.
/r/seduction17/10/24 10:43 PM
1

You can display your personality more in person than on any app. On dating apps, women are flooded with matches and messages, which can sometimes be overwhelming. I recommend optimizing your pictures and bio on dating apps, but I would focus more on meeting women in real life.
/r/seduction17/10/24 10:36 PM
10

I've gone out by myself numerous times. In fact, some friends canceled a night out on me, so I went to the bar we were supposed to meet up at alone. I wound up chatting with a lovely lady whom I've been dating for over three years now. Put yourself out there, and have fun. You got this!
/r/seduction17/10/24 10:32 PM
32

Hey man, I’ve been at that point where the ups and downs of dating can be absolutely frustrating. It really hits you when you start to get the hang of it, and then you begin to wonder, "What is the point?" I think it’s important to take a moment to define what you truly want out of a relationship in the first place. The work you’ve done is great because it has helped you become more comfortable around women. Now, it's time to figure out what will fit your lifestyle. I'd be happy to help if you n…
/r/seduction17/10/24 09:50 PM
2

I've met a few women from online dating. I also don't like to play 21 questions, so a few back and forths is all it takes before I go for a date. Relationships are built in person, not in a long list of messages. There is simply too much non-verbal communication that is needed to build a strong connection, and that can't be seen in any app.
/r/seduction26/09/24 11:17 PM
7

One of the best books I can recommend is "Magnetic" by Tripp Kramer. It has actionable advice on how to attract women. In my personal experience, I've always had much better odds in person than in online dating. If you keep the conversations online to simple yes or no and this or that questions (sunset on the beach or mountains for example) for the first few messages, and then try to set a date, this will gauge her interest in you. Feel free to hit me up for any actionable steps to increase your…
/r/seduction26/09/24 09:52 PM
8

Plenty of advice my man. Don't agree with something she says to not try to rock the boat. For example: If she tells you that she likes avocado toast and you think it's disgusting, feel free to tell her. You can even playfully tease her about it. This shows her that you're not seeking her approval and you're confident in yourself. Don't focus on a specific outcome of the date. This helps you act in a way so that you can focus on whatever skill you're working on. Are you working on making better e…
/r/seduction25/03/24 06:46 PM
2

Attraction is attraction, and it's not a choice. There has to be something that you're doing differently when you approach those girls you consider above 7/10. That rating is in your head, and I'm going to guess that you treat them differently because we as guys naturally place a lot of value on beauty. Somebody said record and compare yourself talking to one of the girls you're successful with and one of the girls above that 7/10. That's a good idea. Also, if these are the women that you really…
/r/seduction25/03/24 06:18 PM
1

Clubs and bars can help because you will be able to talk to more women in a shorter amount of time. They aren't the only way to meet more women though. Increasing your volume may help. Focus more on getting women out on dates vs focusing on having a conversation through text when you have matches on the apps. If you have any specific questions feel free to ask. You can message me if you like.
/r/seduction21/03/24 04:32 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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