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MixWide Archive

View 0 posts and 401 comments by MixWide on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
110

Hell yes. My mom gave me her surname, and I passed it to my children. Don't anybody tell you it's too radical or too soon. Any man who feels entitled to put his name on your work is not worth having children with in the first place. Let him name whatever humans he builds with his body, and expect the same respect in return.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/22 03:19 PM
201

I dunno, I've always loved the saying "men age like wine, women age like milk." Wine only ages well when kept properly sealed and maintained, and most wines are better drunk when young. A wine will only age gracefully if it has the appropriate structure. Meanwhile, aged milk naturally becomes cheese. It does this under a huge range of conditions, and only minor tweaks are necessary to adjust it in your preferred direction of deliciousness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 02:16 AM
57

results in male partners having a marginalized status in endometriosis care. Pretty sure that diagnostic medicine is specifically intended to "marginalize" people who literally do not have the disorder in question. That's the fucking point: you treat people for a disorder if they, you know, actually have it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 04:54 PM
35

Ugh the male ‘hero’ in Bridgerton 2 is so LV. When they showed the montage of him taking out ladies during the day then angrily using lots of different prostitutes during the night it was a total turn off for me. I’m hate watching the rest of it now. Holy fuck, I haven't watched S2 and this honestly makes me think I shouldn't even start it. Maybe I'll give it a try just to see how they try to convince me that I'm supposed to root for a john.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 11:33 AM
163

I detest the concept of "foreplay." The part where the penis goes in the vagina is statistically the most dangerous and least pleasurable part of the endeavor for women. And it's not like men can't orgasm from oral or manual stimulation, either. If anything, the "main event" of sex should be the part that is mutually satisfying, and the part with the penis in the vagina can be rightfully relegated to the status of optional "postplay."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 01:54 AM
373

I mean if the "babysitter" gets most of the money he makes then the solution seems obvious: quit your job and do full-time childcare, sir.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 07:12 PM
48

If every man who has read her post and continued watching porn anyway were to disappear forever, nothing of value would be lost.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 12:38 AM
62

So, let's just continue this standoff. It costs us nothing to refuse to date these losers. This is the key, and it's why I think so many men are so very angry lately. Men legally and physically blocked women from being able to provide for ourselves for thousands of years, all so that they could cast themselves as "providers" for doling out the resources they hoarded away from us. But oops, it turns out that women are entirely able to provide for our own material and social needs. All we needed w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/22 02:23 AM
32

"Consent" is the magician's misdirection of BDSM. A man (and yes it's almost always a man) is beating a woman (and yes it is almost always a woman). A man is strangling a woman, or cutting a woman, or burning a woman, or bruising a woman. She is consenting! Consent consent look over here at the consent! A man enjoys debasing, degrading, and humiliating women, to the point where doing so is the primary way he derives sexual gratification. The women consent, they consent and they could have safe-w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 02:21 PM
28

This. How to tell if something is actually empowering: See if powerful men choose to do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/22 03:51 PM
92

Yeah, holy fuck, I had no idea it had gotten this bad for younger women. Do not send any picture that you wouldn't want to show your grandmother, your future grandchild, and every future prospective employer you may ever have for the rest of your life. We were taught this back when sending digital pictures was brand fucking new, and the ways men could use them to hurt us were comparatively minor compared to what they can do today. I cannot believe that it has become even more normalized despite …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/22 01:22 AM
62

Hey, that one is actually new to me, far out. This is a case where I would LOVE to be wrong, it definitely looks like a real woman's sub at first pass at least!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 07:01 PM
683

PSA: All of the "women's" subs on Reddit have male moderators, and most of them are headed by male sub owners. Yes, this includes TwoXChromosomes, askfeminists, feminism, and all of the "lesbian" subs. FDS is, as far as I know, the only woman's sub that is run by and for women exclusively.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 03:55 PM
54

She's not even asking for 50-50, she's still doing 100% of the actual work required to bear and birth the child, she's still willing to be the one who takes the career hit of time off to care for the infant, and he's still whining that it's unfair to him. Women, you might as well raise your standards, because men will piss and moan no matter how low you set the bar for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/22 09:25 PM
29

Right? She's not even asking for 50-50, she's still doing 100% of the actual work required to bear and birth the child, she's still willing to be the one who takes the career hit of time off to care for the infant, and he's still whining that it's unfair to him. Women, you might as well raise your standards, because men will piss and moan no matter how low you set the bar for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/22 09:25 PM
46

Could also be filed under "show, don't tell." If he puts down other women as a way to try to compliment you, stop returning his calls. If your best friend thinks he's a creep, stop returning his calls. If he is nasty to waiters or cruel to animals or condescending toward female retail workers or whatever the hell else, just stop talking to him. If you feel like giving him an explanation first then fine, but the explanation is beside the point. The only way to assert your boundary is to act on it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 03:15 PM
327

It's interesting to me how "sex positive feminism" winds up looking exactly like the instructions traditionalists give to wives. A good wife chill girl will always be sweetly obedient open minded and understand that it's normal for women to find sex boring and/or painful. She should pray about it watch some porn to try to change her mindset.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 02:34 PM
13

Just remind yourself that it's descriptive rather than prescriptive. It reflects how things play out in real life. Doesn't mean that's a good thing, but it's nice to have acknowledgment that everyone knows it's happening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 04:23 PM
85

About the only post from a man that won't make me roll my eyes is, "What can I do to help?" Don't tell me about yourself, you are not actually the main character in the story. Don't tell me what it's like from a man's perspective, I can't escape men's perspectives in my daily life even if I try. Don't express pain or anger or any other emotion that women have been socialized to soothe, we already spend too much time and energy dealing with our conditioning to serve as your unpaid therapists and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 03:19 PM
204

You know how, in Spanish, a group of girls/women is "ellas", but if even a single boy or man is present it becomes "ellos" even if there are 1000 girls as well? That's exactly what it's like. Even the men who are voicing support or agreement on a woman's sub wind up sucking the air out of the room. Usually they become the center of a big hug circle of people patting them on the back for being such a good guy and cheering about how "this is what we need, more men like this!" and then going on to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 02:57 PM
59

I never was interested in marriage. Took my spouse over a decade to convince me to agree to it. I realize I am not typical and most women desire to marry, so I do not suggest anybody uses me as a template (for anything, really, but especially not marriage).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 03:28 AM
240

Or just stop putting their penises in vaginas entirely. Instead, try oral, or mutual masturbation, or really any of the forms of sex that are known to be more likely to give women orgasms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 06:00 PM
41

This might be bullshit but my personal theory is that there is a "critical window" for a lot of emotional regulation skills. You know how if you learn a language after a certain age, you almost always retain a bit of an accent no matter how much you practice? I feel like the same is true about emotional skills. Boys are actively discouraged from managing their own feelings, examining their impulses, and developing empathy. As a result, even men who later want to develop those skills will wind up…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 02:47 PM
49

I don't get how one can retain attraction to a man who does that to a woman right in front of you. Regardless of what kind of person she is, regardless of whether she consents or not...she's a human being, and he's nutting while he brutalizes her. How do you watch a man do that and feel anything but disgust and contempt for him? I can't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 02:29 AM
15

I somewhat abruptly found myself being left with the task of planning trips "for the family," after our first attempted vacation with our kids became a disaster due to lack of planning. (In fairness, I hadn't seen it coming myself, because both my spouse and I tend to be laid back about travel and were used to just rolling with whatever when we traveled. You gotta do things differently with small kids along, however.) Our second family trip came around, and my spouse booked the flights and consi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 09:24 PM
139

Yeah no need to get a vasectomy even. No need to DO anything at all, just don't-do the thing where your penis goes into a vagina. You can do all kinds of fucking in a million different positions, you can have orgasms day and night, and odds are she's going to enjoy it way more than vaginal penetration because women statistically don't get off on having a dick in there anyhow. It literally will cost you nothing. You can have just as many sexual encounters and just as many orgasms, you don't have …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 09:08 PM
395

Don't entertain patriarchal reversals. Study after study shows that women are healthier, happier, and literally live longer when NOT partnered with men. Men are upset because, after centuries of being able to exploit women for unpaid labor and unreciprocated sexual servicing, they are now being expected to bring some benefit to off-set the cost of partnering with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 10:35 PM
80

This is why I see red every time people say "Parents just need to keep an eye on what their kids do online." Okay great, and what do I do about my kid's peers, whose parents are like the OP? Who think it's okay for their 11 year old to be watching porn? My kid sits next to that kid, my kid is on the bus with that kid, my kid is expected to do group projects with that kid. The parents of that little boy are apparently delusional enough to think that he can orgasm to videos of girls being abused a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 04:57 PM
111

Cannot stress this enough. My SIL is in the process of divorcing, and so far the most ludicrous claim her soon-to-be-ex has tried is claiming that he has a "legal right" to an explanation for why she has retained a divorce attorney. (Because "I want a lawyer" is apparently not enough...? I don't know, dude's nuts.) He's been fucking with her head for so long that she could not let go of the fear that he was right and that it would somehow count against her in court. Thankfully, she let me convin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 10:37 PM
39

Porn being demeaning is a feature, not a bug.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 01:51 AM
29

One of the most destructive messages of our culture is the way women are pushed to make their man the center of their world, especially when marrying. In reality it is always best to maintain a thriving social network and support system beyond your spouse. Of course it won't erase the pain of being abandoned by the person who swore to stand by you no matter what. But so many women would be so much better off in a crisis if they had put even a fraction of their "wife energy" into relationships wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 02:53 PM
38

Are some HVW destined to be alone? Any advice for women like me who are incorporating FDS principles in our life but can’t seem to find a good guy worthy of a relationship? One of life's hardest lessons is that you can do everything right and still not win. Nowhere is this more true than relationships. This is why the core of dating strategy for women, in my opinion, must be building a self-directed and self-sufficient life that does not require a man. Because ultimately the majority of women wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 07:27 PM
28

My dad dropped everything to fly half way across the country and be with me when I went into preterm labor. My brother does shit like come over to shovel my driveway at 6am because he knows I have a cold but I also have to get my kids to early swim practice. My spouse stuck by me and supported me during two major depressive episodes, one of which involved him literally feeding me because I wasn't eating of my own accord. The reason I share these details is not to invalidate a single word of what…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 04:28 PM
36

I think SAHM is perfectly valid and can be beneficial to the mother and the children, but it's too much of a risk. Absolutely my take. Childcare and household labor are every inch as important and valid as any other form of labor...but under our current system I do not believe there is any safe way for any woman to be a stay-at-home parent or partner. Even if he gives you an "allowance," you have sacrificed your career growth and independent ability to earn money. Even if you have your own money…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 10:20 PM
41

I don't think they aspire to it at all, they are raised to believe that women are so frantic to get married that all they've got to do is walk around being male and some desperate woman will latch on to them and beg for the privilege of scrubbing the skid marks out of their undies til death do they part.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 02:33 PM
52

Boggles me that so few people see this. All the traditional fairy tales (written by men) push the idea of a girl's sole dream being to get married. All the kids movies and TV shows that male-run studios churned out for decades pushed the "happily ever after" of landing a man. Gotta get 'em young, before they develop interests or a sense of self, otherwise girls might grow up to view themselves as full human beings rather than supporting cast for the boys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 02:29 PM
273

The point about Iceland is so key. Men's demand for strippers (and prostitutes, and porn stars) far, far, far outstrips the willing supply. When women are educated, economically liberated, and allowed freedom of choice, the number who opt to become strippers is negligible. Meanwhile, the number of men who want to be able to pay for access to naked women is not any lower, and indeed may even go up because men react to women's liberation by doubling down on abusing women. So there are two options …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 04:36 PM
68

This is what the term "sex work" is intended to disguise. Prostitutes are "sex workers," and so are pimps. Strippers are "sex workers" and so are club owners. Cam girls are "sex workers" and so are pornographers. "Sex work" lumps the exploited people in with those exploiting them. It's about forcing you to support the industry or else be accused of hating the people who the industry abuses. I have nothing but compassion for the women who are exploited by "sex work," and nothing but contempt for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 03:10 PM
112

Of course boys are easier, you let them do whatever Spot on. I actually think it is far harder to raise boys to be as well-socialized, responsible, kind, and helpful as girls, because you're fighting against every bit of media and culture and all of their peers and 99% of the male role models in their lives. And the moment they leave home, they're likely to be able to find an infinite number of friends and romantic partners whose standards are rock-bottom for guys, so why bother to keep pushing …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 10:42 PM
18

Like, don't get me wrong, I'm personally glad that after my last c-section they did not rush to put me on opioids. I am lucky enough that I didn't need them (for whatever reason I either have high pain tolerance or my body just heals very quickly) and I'm frankly terrified of opioid addiction. But let's be real, if men were the ones giving birth they'd be on epidurals starting at the end of the first trimester, and they'd have a morphine IV from the first contraction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 02:48 PM
8

He then claimed that my "obsession" with not showing him (literally someone I had met 3 hours ago) where I live is a red flag. I said that was an interesting observation and drove myself home lmfao. This was my absolute favorite. I want to have a beer with OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 06:30 PM
10

Treat a condom as a barrier of respect. No protection = No sex. I'll do you one better: Reject the idea that "sex" must involve his penis going inside your vagina in the first place. If you happen to enjoy PIV, great, but statistically most women don't get off on it. So...why are women continuing to have a kind of sex that most of us cannot orgasm from, when that kind of sex is also vastly more dangerous to us? Why not have other kinds of sex (manual, oral, etc.) that are both free from risk of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/22 07:30 PM
58

That's basically it. I would love to have female-centered spaces where male people can participate...but Reddit has pretty conclusively established that any space that permits male participation will almost immediately become dominated by male voices. I want to hear from women. The only thing I have seen work is to prohibit male participation entirely. I don't see this as much loss, given that I can hear from men literally anywhere else at any time, whether or not I'm even trying to hear from th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/22 08:40 PM
11

Especially since "getting laid" is popularly defined as "a man sticking his penis in a vagina until he has an orgasm" and "a relationship" is popularly defined as "a man getting a free domestic servant who also puts out." Women who partner with men see their average life expectancy decrease, their lifetime earnings decrease, their average working hours increase, and their self-reported happiness go down. Men instead enjoy gains in every one of those categories. No duh it's easy for women to find…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/22 03:38 PM
205

Most leftist men are only leftist from the waist up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/22 03:34 PM
508

If you use men as your standards for men, you're in for a bad time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 12:36 PM
59

That's how my household does it. I made it clear to my spouse that I would not ever do his chores for him, and that I also would not live in a house where his chores were not getting done. If he would prefer to pay someone to do his chores for him using the money he'd otherwise be spending on his hobbies/recreation then fine, but it is 100% his responsibility to handle it and pay for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 02:36 AM
30

I often feel like an asshole looking back at my younger self, because I had such contempt for women who choose bad partners. I just didn't grasp how many advantages my family of origin gave me. I have a good ol' fashioned bra-burning second-wave feminist mother. She carefully selected a husband who was prepared to be a true equal in the relationship. Both my parents worked, inside the home and out. Both wanted to be parents and were fully involved with us kids, from diapers to night feeds to dis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 03:13 PM
48

My mom kept her name, married in the 1970s, and gave me and my sibling hyphenated names. I kept my names and gave them to my children. ​ No, I didn't bother adding my spouse's name as an additional hyphen, because that would have been cumbersome. No, that's never created any problems for us, aside from social hassles from people who can't get over our break with "tradition." Matrilineal naming is logical; no woman is uncertain about whether she is the mother of a baby, and statistically speaking…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 02:42 PM
29

He is, and you're entirely right about it being hard to break free of, which is why I don't hold the feelings against him. I was brought up to believe that feelings are neither right nor wrong, it's what we do about them that determines that. I think that, unfortunately, the odds are vanishingly small of finding a man who never feels "emasculated" by being treated like an equal partner to a woman. So, women must find those men who are prepared to recognize that those feelings are a him problem, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 05:16 PM
175

The reality is that if you earn more than your (male) partner, unless he is really a HVM, he will feel emasculated and begin to resent you. Sadly, I can confirm that even really great guys fall into this trap. My spouse knew, from long before we got together, that I would be getting my doctorate and working in STEM. He knew, long before we married, that I'd likely make more money, and that I definitely would prioritize my career above his. He agreed to all of this. My spouse also knew, long befo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 03:29 PM
209

Multiple studies have found that if women speak an equal amount of the time to men, they are perceived as dominating the conversation. If a group contains equal numbers of men and women, it is perceived as being female dominated. Small wonder that women are compelled to apologize for merely existing in the world as humans. We spend our whole lives learning that "fairness" means a woman speaking half as much and taking up half as much space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 07:47 PM
98

Yeah she wrote and re-wrote pretty much all of War and Peace, after putting the children to bed of course. Her diaries are remarkable, but fair warning that they are also deeply depressing and read like an FDS warning fable. She was a brilliant woman who could have contributed so much to our world, and instead a 34 year old man pounced on her when she was 18, then proceeded to keep her impregnated and caring for his household and exploiting her as an unacknowledged writer and editor until she wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 03:06 PM
222

It's patriarchal reversal. Throughout all of human history, women have been the providers. Women provide men with untold hours of unpaid domestic labor. Women provide men with heirs, and care for those heirs. Women gather and store and prepare the food, maintain the shelter, design and craft the clothing, tend the sick, and keep the fires burning. Think about Thoreau's mother doing his laundry, or Sofia Tolstoy bearing 13 children while also editing and probably writing most of her famous husban…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 12:59 PM
136

Not just a woman and a man, but a woman who was arguably one of the most qualified candidates in history based on her resume, and a man who was unquestionably the least qualified to ever receive the backing of a major party.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 02:23 AM
175

I know lots of men pity my spouse. I didn't take his name, and our children have my surname. He works part time and takes on a slightly larger share of household and childcare responsibilities as a trade-off, while I work full time and make more money. I do not manage my spouse's social calendar or do things like send birthday presents to his family on his behalf. I do not manage his diet or badger him to see doctors or dentists. Although I of course will care for him when he's ill, I do not tak…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 04:10 PM
11

Some people are taught self confidence and boundaries as children so, for them, it seems like a personality trait. Other people grow up with neither confidence nor boundaries. If they're lucky they develop them over time but it takes conscious effort. This is so important. Lots of people think that you have to have been abused in order to be vulnerable to an abuser, but it is not that simple. Even otherwise-great families frequently fall into the pattern of training girls to be sweet and trainin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 02:44 AM
8

And the truth is once you start doing something it's almost impossible to change the dynamic so none of them ever even tried. This this this. I've got a pretty solidly equal relationship, but I generally don't feel like I can give much useful advice to other women on how to "fix" their own marriages to be more equal, because I honestly don't know how to change those sexist patterns once they are established. It's not like most women haven't said something about the inequalities. Usually they've …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 02:13 PM
86

I've been with my spouse almost 20 years now, and I can count on one hand the number of times I've done his laundry for him. People have reacted to this with outright horror and even suggested that I am abusive. Meanwhile, I have never once regretted that I didn't do my spouse's laundry. I highly doubt that, when I am on my deathbed, I will look back and think to myself, "If only I'd spent more time folding my adult partner's underwear for him!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 02:15 PM
227

until a baby of his own is born, there’s not a 100% way to know… curious what vetting strategies can be used here There's no sure way to know, which is why it is critical to always be able to leave. Financially, materially, socially, always be able to leave the moment that he stops being a worthy partner. A lot of men change once they feel they have a woman "locked down," even men who are well-meaning and don't consciously know that they're doing it. So, the only protection is to never be "locke…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 12:38 AM
22

I'm married and I still don't get that attitude. My spouse is not the sole source of companionship and comfort in my life. That would be...weird? And unhealthy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 02:19 AM
181

Lordy, yes, one of my biggest pet peeves is this myth that men are "repressed." Since fucking when? Any woman who has worked in a male-dominated field can attest to how much time and energy have to go into maintaining the delicate egos of her male coworkers. Any woman in a customer-facing role knows all the ways she must carefully tailor her behavior for male customers. Any woman who has bloody well gone outside her home knows that everything from the clothes she wears to the length of her strid…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 04:58 PM
198

My SIL is currently going through a divorce from a man who is beneath her in pretty much every way, but of course she is beating herself up for not being able to do more, to manage things "better," to make the father of her children act like a decent human being, etc. And what it really got me thinking about is how much I wish I'd been there for her more in recent years. If I could have been more of a presence, more of a voice backing her up and reminding her that she's not being unfair or bitch…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 05:41 PM
46

They don't even have to wear a condom or get a vasectomy, they just have to not put their sperm in or on a woman's genitals. There are so many other possible ways to have mutual orgasms, it's not like they'd have to be deprived in any way. For that matter, sticking a penis in a vagina is one of the LEAST effective ways to have mutual orgasms, because women tend to not reach orgasm from penetration. Men could have orgasms as often as they want, while being more likely to give their partner an org…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 11:33 PM
56

Upvoting so strongly. Education and money are massively important for independence, but I think the importance of having a support network--especially of other women--is not emphasized enough. Abusers know how important it is, that's why they isolate you and try to cut you off from other people who love and support you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 08:06 PM
65

For me it was finding out that homicide is the leading cause of death of pregnant women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 04:05 PM
16

Also if we're going 50/50, I better have an orgasm for every orgasm you have. Good addition. Of all the sex you've had, what percentage directly involved his penis and what percentage directly involved your clitoris?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 12:46 PM
109

Now everyone is screeching about going dutch because "it's 2021." So? Right? Hell, let's just keep it personal: How many of your male friends changed their name at marriage? It's 2021, we're 50-50, right? How many men in your life were the ones who left their career and took a permanent hit to their earning potential when they had kids? Should be 50-50 with women who did so, right? How much do your male friends spend on contraception, compared to how much your female friends spend? How many of t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 10:01 PM
125

50/50 DOES NOT WORK BECAUSE FUNDAMENTAL SYSTEMIC INEQUITIES HAVE NOT BEEN ADDRESSED. And this is why libfem is ultimately such a failure. This was the hardest bit for me to accept: that there is no individual solution to a systemic problem. I was always able to see the sexism in the world. I was always able to recognize how unfair the world is as a whole. But for a long time I held out hope that I could make choices that would allow me, personally, to rise above that sexism, or at least live apa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 06:21 PM
17

"I failed to do the absolute bare minimum of a functioning adult and couldn't see why I need to pick up my toys unless Mommy wife tells me to do otherwise. My wife clearly articulated that being expected to serve as my executive function and clean up after me like I'm an infant is not appealing to her. GUYS I BROKE THE MYSTERIOUS WOMAN-CODE!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 12:38 PM
71

Fucking THANK YOU. I hate that goddamn article. No, you should not do the dishes because you "care about her," you should do them because you fucking live here. Be a goddamn adult. Have an internal locus of control and some basic dignity. Clean up after yourself because that's what grown-ups do, ffs, and stop making it about a woman in any way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 12:32 PM
3

I know what you mean, but TBH I've been "out" as a feminist woman gamer for over a decade at this point...if the FDS-hating dudes can come up with a rape threat I haven't already heard, I'd be genuinely impressed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 02:47 PM
501

I am small and I cannot tell you how often guys, including guys I was dating, have made comments like that. Conversely, here's the way a non-asshole reacts to me being a dinky woman: Have a guy friend who I met through online gaming, and finally met in person after about five years of knowing each other. His first reaction upon seeing me was "Wow, you ARE fucking tiny, you could hide in like, anything, and just jump out and murder people. Have you considered being a suitcase assassin?" (Yes, Sui…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 07:44 PM
54

Unfortunately, no matter how much you desire it, there is no guarantee you will find another person willing and able to provide you with love and companionship. FDS is about focusing on yourself because 1) doing so will put you in the best position to have an equitable and fulfilling relationship if you do find a good partner, and 2) if you do not find a good partner then you will still have a full and fulfilling life of your own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 08:11 PM
76

The most liberating realization of my life was that, as the woman, you will always be "a bitch" for something. It literally doesn't matter how much you compromise, sacrifice, put others first, ignore your own feelings, allow your boundaries to be pushed, and otherwise become a doormat. There will always, always, always be a reason why it's not enough and you're being so mean and how very dare you. Someone somewhere will always be leaping to tell you that you are selfish and wrong and anything ba…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 01:34 PM
35

Exactly. We're constantly fed this idea of "mysterious disappearances" and movies and TV shows and books with crazy twists and complex serial killers, but the reality is so simple. When women are murdered it's almost always her partner. When it's not her partner, it's almost always a male acquaintance who wanted to fuck her. If the woman in question is white and affluent, the odds of any other sort of homicide are on par with being hit by lightning. And even in the (statistically rare) cases whe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 01:39 PM
81

Saw a People magazine cover at the check-out line yesterday with a headline something like: "Where are these missing mothers?" Story blurb was that there are all these missing young mothers and isn't it a mystery what could have happened to them? Their male partner or ex-partner murdered them. We all know it. Given that over half a dozen stories seem to be included in the headline, it's possible that one or two of them were murdered by a male acquaintance or family member, but the odds are overw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 01:22 PM
115

See this is what's wrong with women these days, all the unrealistic expectations like "he will show up."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 12:19 AM
145

Easy way to tell if something is empowering: Do men in power do the thing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 04:57 PM
48

You know how "basic bitch" has caught on? Remember that it's always projection. Literally every single sexist stereotype is projection. "Women can't drive!" Yet statistically men are far worse drivers. "Women talk too much!" Yet men unequivocally talk more, and interrupt others more. "Women are emotional!" Men's tantrums are responsible for 99% of violent crimes, property damage, bar fights, public riots, etc. So: "Basic bitches and their pumpkin spice lattes!" Lol bacon and whiskey and beer and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 05:02 PM
238

Always important to maintain your own LIMITS: Life skills - Basic knowledge on home maintenance, finance/taxes, car care (if applicable), etc. Interests - Your interests help you stay connected to yourself, and contribute to your feelings of competence Money - See OP Identity - You are more than your relationships to others. You are not just supporting cast. You are not limited to being someone's sister or mother or wife. Your identity is important. Transportation - Never live in a place where y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 04:59 PM
101

^ ^ ^ Don't take my word for it, look up stats for yourself, but single, widowed, and divorced older women who remain single are statistically happier, healthier, and longer-lived than those who are married/partnered. And older women know it. And that's why every inch of culture, right down to Disney movies and fairy tales, paints older single women as ugly evil witches. It's all about making sure that younger women don't view elder women as mentors and guides and teachers, but as enemies or use…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 02:32 PM
92

Because "sex" is still most commonly understood to be the inserting of a penis into a vagina until the penis ejaculates. Let's use the equal-but-opposite redefinition of sex as "activity which stimulates the clitoris to orgasm," without any assumption that a penis will so much as get an affectionate glance. And now realize that the statistical majority of married heterosexual women aren't able to get sex. This is why we vet. Because dick is cheap and abundant, while sex is rare and precious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 12:20 AM
10

The only reason to assume that women must grade on a curve is if you assume every woman must end up with a man. And like, nah, we're not doing that any more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 02:06 PM
139

My entire life i've been led to believe (by men of course) that women are catty, will throw each other under the bus any chance they get, are ruthless, etc. Because who benefits from keeping women divided? Who stands to lose, if women start talking to each other and comparing notes and finding common cause and pooling experiences and resources?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 01:07 PM
25

Men date women they hate, your train of thought is not logical to all of them. This needs to be higher. Think about any thread, on any sub, where men talk about a woman they don't like. Could be a political leader, a fictional character, an ex-wife, any woman at all, only criteria is that men are talking about how they dislike her. How many comments do you need to scroll before a man shares his sexual fantasies about the hate-object? Men see no conflict between desiring a woman and hating her. H…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 01:09 PM
19

Success objects? How many of the men saying this actually have any. And they piss and moan about women being successful! How many pearl-clutching articles have we all see about the HORRIFIC TREND of young women achieving more education than their male peers? How many times do we read about how THE WORLD IS ENDING because women are choosing their own careers over marrying and making babies? How many generations have penned screeds about women "stealing jobs" from men and "taking over" the workfor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 01:06 PM
432

Boom. If every man does it, then every man is an unsuitable partner. People only think this is an impossible statement because they implicitly assume a woman must have a man. Because they assume a woman is better off partnered than unpartnered. Because at the core, women are still seen as incomplete without a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 01:21 PM
147

Not to go galaxy brain but... What if I told you penetrative sex can be entirely optional? Men can orgasm without penetrative sex. The majority of women cannot orgasm from penetrative sex. I view penetrative intercourse as one possible item on a menu. For me it's one of many possible entres, but for a lot of women it's probably only going to rate as an appetizer. Order accordingly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 08:06 PM
62

Woman: [Respectfully declines to service a man's wants] Man: You KICK the man? You KICK him like the FOOTBALL?! Oh! Oh! Jail for woman, jail for one thousand years!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 01:57 PM
124

Fucking this. My genitals are not "inclusive."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 01:08 PM
11

Even sadder is the fact that this brainwashing begins basically from birth if you're born into a LVM/pickme family. Even even sadder is that it begins even if you're in a bog-standard family. My sister-in-law is a great example. Her dad (my FIL) is not a LVM. He's a hard-working guy, he was primary childcare for her when she was little, he is legit a pretty good egg. But SIL still grew up with all the sexist messaging that pervades our culture. All the books and movies and TV shows full of stori…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 08:47 PM
31

A woman cuts her hair short: "She must have given up on men and become a lesbian misandrist, how SAD!!" I have short hair, do not wear any make-up, and don't shave. I live in a pretty progressive area and most men seem relatively chill about my appearance...until they find out I'm not a lesbian. When they find out my partner is a man, they immediately start trying to figure out how such a thing could be possible. Surely my partner must be a gay man, and I'm his beard? Surely I have "let myself g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 02:43 PM
19

Have two kids, can absolutely confirm. (Obligatory: I love my kids, I do not regret having them, but if any woman is on the fence about having children I will happily loan her mine for the 15 minutes it will take for them to change her mind.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 02:09 PM
27

I like this usage, but I'm okay with infertile women using "childfree" if they prefer it. An infertile friend of mine told me that "childless" really hurts her to say, and she also prefers to say "childfree" because then people assume it's by choice and not that she's broken (her words, not mine!). I absolutely take the point from the OP and others that there are problems with allowing people who desire children to use the "childfree" label, and that it's important to have a word for people who …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 02:14 PM
58

I'm Anglo and I don't get it either. My mom kept her name, and she got married in the 1970s. I never entertained the notion of changing my name, nor of giving someone else's surname to children that I made with my own damn body. And yet literally every woman I know--including the ones who describe themselves as feminists--has changed her name at marriage and gave a man's surname to any children she bore. Really shows how oppressive the social conditioning is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 03:08 PM
36

Yeah that's why I'm not interested in talking about men's problems. Men hold the power. Men control the wealth. Men hold the power and control the wealth specifically by using force to exploit and control women. If some men are upset with what their fellow men are doing with that wealth and power, they are welcome to deal with their fellow men. Not my circus, not my monkeys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 09:31 PM
370

I think it's even simpler: men freak out whenever women express desires of our own. Men are brought up to believe that women exist for them. Yes all men. Even liberal men grow up in households where women silently perform most of the shit work, where women constantly provide emotional labor, where even their feminist mothers all independently happened to take their fathers' names, etc. Even progressive men watch porn and condition themselves on the daily to see women as receptacles for men's des…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 02:21 PM
26

I would add: Refrains from exploiting women for sexual gratification (i.e. no pornography or use of prostituted women) Has a skill set that will allow him to support himself Obtains routine health and dental care as appropriate for himself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 12:59 PM
23

Aslo, this is reason #546 why you NEVER send nudes to anyone, ever, at any time. This this this this. Never. I don't care if you've been married 50 years and are the sole earner and he literally wears a chastity cage on his balls that you hold the key to. You never, ever, EVER let someone have nudes of you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 02:26 PM
28

Pure chance meeting in college. I wish I could say there was something I did to find a good partner, something I could pass on to other women to improve their odds, but I literally just got lucky. I think that's why it's so important for women to focus on developing ourselves and our platonic relationship networks. You could be doing absolutely everything right and still not encounter a worthy partner...the only thing to do is build a good life for yourself and hope that luck will be on your sid…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 01:36 PM
2

I honestly don't see how artificial wombs could be worse than existing human history. Throughout recorded history men have owned actual women as property, raped them repeatedly to impregnate them, and forced them to bear pregnancies against their will, so that the men could then claim full and absolute ownership of the resulting children. Men already are incapable of making children themselves, so what would artificial wombs really change? Men would still be doing absolutely none of the reproduc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 09:05 PM
92

And, unfortunately, artificial womb technology is a long way off still. I say unfortunately because the real wonder of artificial womb technology would be for treating premature infants and providing better options for women whose health is in danger due to pregnancy. Imagine if a woman who develops serious gestational diabetes or high blood pressure or other dangerous complications could have her baby safely moved to an artificial womb, and would not have to choose between risking her life or h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 01:44 PM
8

I wonder what pleasure these men get out of it. Do they think that they're doing a service to the society? Do they think that their messages are achieving anything? Do they think that we'll feel bad that a guy doesn't approve of us? It seems like a similar behavior to cat-calling. They want to feel like they've put us in our place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 04:36 PM
10

For whatever it is worth, I just sold my house to a single woman buyer, and her being the sole buyer was absolutely a factor in our decision. I was impressed that a single woman had such a strong offer, considering that I live in an absolutely ridiculous market right now, and the way she and her agent handled negotiations and communication made me suspect she's a badass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 04:31 PM
182

My spouse once expressed that he felt "punished" if I didn't initiate sex to comfort him when he is depressed. I was sincerely baffled. When I see someone very sad, I do not experience a desire to fuck them. I told him as much, and thankfully he understood and no longer feels that way about it, but it was closer to a deal-breaker than I think he realizes...I find it frankly disturbing that someone could desire to fuck someone who is obviously miserable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 08:35 PM
66

I really don't get this. Straight women want to date straight men. Why is that bad? Because you're thinking about what the woman wants. How very dare you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 11:41 AM
22

We just screen cap their own words and it's enough. Ever notice how posts about the eeeeeeevil FDS sub never do that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 11:05 AM
22

Only ever lived with one, and he knew what he was getting into. I buy my clothes in the men's dept (or, well, sometimes in boy's because I'm small). I don't wear make-up, ever. My hair is short and I don't do much besides wash it and comb it. I don't wear jewelry beyond a few piercings. Yes, my spouse is a straight man, and yes, he's attracted to me even though I make no effort to perform femininity. Sometimes I wonder if he's the only heterosexual man on the planet who is actually attracted to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:26 PM
45

Ouch, and this is a big part of why I drifted away from many of my female friends when they married or had kids. It was especially jarring because I was always the friend telling them to ditch a boyfriend who treated them like crap, yet for some reason they seemed to think I would bond with them over husbands treating us like crap. Which, no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 07:30 PM
13

I got the numbers here. Disclaimer: I am not a medical doctor, and even if I was, nobody should be taking medical advice from a rando on the internet. Talk to your GP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 07:26 PM
187

Risk of contracting an STD from one instance of intercourse: Disease Vaginal Anal HIV 0.05–0.1% or 4 per 10,000 sexual acts 1.4% or 138 per 10,000 Herpes 0.3-0.7% No exact data available Gonorrhea 20% 84% Chlamydia 4.5% 32% Syphilis 51-64% 30-60% HPV 4% per 100 person-months 33.7%-85.7% Meanwhile we've got that recent finding that women have a 7% chance of orgasm from a first-time hookup with a guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 05:28 PM
48

Okay hear me out, though: George of the Jungle (1997) is a feminist triumph.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 03:38 PM
28

Protip: Tell any prospective father that you will be giving your surname to any children you build with your body. It works a treat to weed out the duds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 06:08 PM
21

Exactly. This is why MRAs simultaneously whine about "gold-digging" women and slag on career women. What they want is for men to retain exclusive control over resources. Whether women are trying to get resources by pairing with men, or by earning on their own without a man, the problem to them is women obtaining resources at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 02:55 PM
67

Uh, yeah, I think that's a big chunk missing from the end of the sentence in the OP. Women care more about men's material wealth and social status...because women are denied equal access to material wealth and social status. Women don't care about these things any more or less than men do, but women have fewer options for obtaining them on our own. So, many women (correctly) recognize that their best odds of obtaining financial security and community acceptance are to wed a man who has those thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 11:26 AM
225

It wasn't until adulthood that I realized how unusual my father is in this regard. His sci-fi-heavy bookshelves always has had plenty of Le Guin, Perkins Gilman, and Cherryh. His eclectic music collection has PJ Ward, The Roaches, Joan Jett, and the Go-Go's. His favorite Saturday Night Live episodes were the ones with Lily Tomlin. I didn't see anything odd about this, and of course in a sane world it wouldn't be remotely unusual, but the older I get the more I appreciate how rare it is for a man…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:09 PM
51

I say give them time. Gen Z girls/women are still so young. Like all of us, they've been groomed from birth, although their grooming has been admittedly even more fucked up that what I recall from being a Millennial. It took me into my 30s to really understand the number that had been done on me by our woman-hating world. I'd be willing to bet that by their 30s a lot of Gen Z women will become some of the strongest feminist leaders we've seen in generations. It's like how the staunchest atheists…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:47 PM
67

It's hard enough being a Millennial, but Gen Z girls have grown up alongside boys who have being using porn since before puberty. I honestly don't know how any of the heterosexual women of their generation manage. It is so normal and natural and healthy to desire a partner, and so ghastly and unnatural what has been done to their entire potential partner pool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:42 PM
13

"Bbbut she might lie and say it was rape!!" So don't sleep with her. If you don't know her well enough to feel safe that she won't falsely accuse you of rape, then don't sleep with her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 01:51 PM
60

"Threaten me with a good time, will you?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 01:45 PM
340

This is why I am patient and kind toward the girls who are Not Like Other Girls. Eventually you realize that the image of "girl" you've been fed is one made by and for men. It's fake. It exists to sell things and to groom you. Think about all the tropes about female characters in media that you absolutely can't stand, all the examples of a girl character that you can't relate to or find anything interesting about. Now ask yourself how many of those were written by men. Of course most girls go th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 02:59 PM
31

Men are healthier, happier, wealthier, and safer in marriage. Women see their life expectancy, free time, income, and over-all happiness decrease. I agree that it should not take a man more than a year or two to know whether he wants to marry a woman, since the stakes are low and the odds are in his favor. However, I don't think there's any upper limit on how long a woman should take to vet a potential husband. It took my spouse 11 years to convince me to marry him, and I have never regretted a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 12:48 PM
26

The criticisms of this sub remind me of my 7th grade health teacher. He told us shit like "pot is addictive and you can overdose on it even if you only smoke it one time" to try to scare us away from drugs. Of course all that happened was that we quickly figured out he was telling egregious lies and stopped paying any attention to him. Keep it up, "critics." Send more women over to read for themselves. See how long it takes them to realize how utterly full of crap you are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 12:42 PM
24

It stinks though, that no matter how far you go back it’s just the father of the father of the father Hell no. My mother kept her name and gave it to me, and I kept it and gave it to my daughters. My mom bucked tradition and stood her ground to keep her name. She earned a PhD with that name, built a practice with that name, and has been as much or more of a credit to that name as any man in her family tree. If anything, I think my mom has done more to "own" her name than her father or brothers e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 02:55 PM
5

That's what I'm saying. It's your name, you decide if you want to change it, but own up to what's going on. "I wasn't close to my family anyway" okay but I know plenty of men who hate their families and not one of them took his wife's name. "I wanted to share a family name" okay but he could take your name, and yet. "I'd want to have the same name as our kids" okay so give the kids your surname. "Well it was my dad's name anyway" you carried it your whole life, it's yours as much as it is anybod…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 11:19 PM
14

My mom kept her name and I grew up seeing that as normal. Then I watched literally every single one of my female friends change her name when she married. Every single one of them had a reason why, in her case, it was really a choice and totally not because of sexism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 12:43 PM
23

My only question is what about children? Different countries have different laws. I'd like to hear others thoughts on this. I can give a USA perspective. My parents kept their surnames and gave me a hyphenated combo at birth. My name has never caused me any problems in terms of documents, travel, credit cards, bank accounts, insurance, etc. Schools never hassled about it, passports were never a problem, really can't think of any difficulty beyond sometimes my name doesn't fit on standardized for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 12:42 PM
18

Like, let's accept for the sake of argument that marriage is the "end game" of dating. (I have issues with that but put a pin in it for now.) Why would anybody assume that a woman who has "succeeded" at something would suddenly stop having anything to say about it? Why wouldn't she, for example, want to provide the benefit of her experience to others? And why wouldn't other women actively seek to learn from her? Men will spend hours watching gaming tutorials made by guys who have already beaten …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 12:32 PM
48

Either you believe the foetus is a person or you don't. Correction: either you believe the woman is a person or you don't. No person has the right to demand use of my organs without my permission. No person can so much as use my blood for a transfusion if I don't consent. Not even my own (born) children. Even if I'm a convicted murderer on death row, no other person is allowed to use my body or harvest my tissues unless I agree. Even if I'm dead, nobody is allowed to use my body parts if I didn'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 12:17 PM
40

So what if I get my wife pregnant can I punch her in the stomach til it aborts and she consented to it so should I punch or throw down a flight of stairs to save money. Never fails. Women: We are fully human persons and deserve to be recognized as such under the law. Men: this means i can hit women, yes? i hit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 12:13 PM
38

Women are called "man-hating" for asserting that men are capable of being kind and respectful and doing their own chores. Men who choose to behave like adults are called sissies and wimps and losers. These reversals are not crazy, and they're not coincidence, they are calculated. Because, see, women who believe men are capable of behaving like adults will expect men to behave like adults. That's not nearly as nice as letting men do whatever they want and never expecting them to do chores! And me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 12:38 PM
234

Gonna keep pointing this out: r\degradingholes has multiple times the number of subs as FDS. It is a subreddit that men created so that they can masturbate to the abuse of women. It is, in fact, one of the multiple subreddits men have made for that purpose. This is why we laugh at you, o triggered scrotes, when you whine about how "toxic" we are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 01:38 AM
117

The idea that women need men is another patriarchal reversal. In most areas, men and women are equally independent and could survive without one another. There is one major area in which a man absolutely requires a woman: reproduction. A man cannot produce offspring without the active participation of a woman for the entire duration of a pregnancy and the birthing process, and until relatively recent history would not have a good chance of seeing the offspring survive unless a woman also nursed …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 01:27 AM
129

r\degradingholes has several times the number of subscribers as FDS. And that's just one of the subreddits that men have built specifically for the purpose of masturbating to women being abused.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 10:49 PM
10

Screening tip for any woman who wants kids one day: tell a man that any children you birth will get your surname, and watch the trash take itself out. 9 times out of 10, even the "liberal feminist" guys will balk at the idea that they might not be entitled to put their name on the product of a woman's labor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 05:37 PM
9

Can't help but notice that in your entire paragraph there is no mention of the children's father. Who should be giving them the task list? Who should be imposing the "swift consequences"? Ahh, you get to it in your last paragraph...it's got to be a "mama boot camp." You remind the young women of this sub that, yep, as women they can expect to be solely responsible for training their sons to be functional humans. The male person who would necessarily have had to contribute to the creation of thos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 06:58 PM
66

My spouse loves to be called Daddy by his children. He still has the first piece of paper where our oldest was able to write out D-A-D-D-Y, keeps it framed on his desk so he can see it every day. To hell with the porn-brained losers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 01:11 PM
57

When you don’t actually enjoy sex with the people that you are doing it with, and you view it as a transaction, something you do to get something you want, then it makes sense for you to think that women who aren’t charging are being ripped off. Right? It's like, what if I told you that you never have to suck a dick at all unless you actively desire to do so? You don't have to perform any sex act unless doing so is enjoyable enough to be its own reward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 04:58 PM
1

I don't disagree, but I'm also glad OP posted here because I think the absolute most bedrock principle in healthy female dating strategy is the importance of not needing a man. Posts like this are what I'm here for: women helping other women be financially, physically, and emotionally self-sufficient, so that our relationships with men can be freely chosen rather than entered into out of necessity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 01:01 PM
88

My kids have my name because I made them and I sign my work. I'm happily married to their father. He's got a lovely surname, nothing against it, and if he ever builds a human with his body I will be happy for him to sign his work as well.
/r/askFDS09/05/21 09:53 PM
24

Er, that's because in those systems women are generally barred from doing paid work. They work their asses off in areas like farming and domestic labor, but none of what they do commands an income because if women are able to earn their own money they tend to take that money and leave the bullshit polygamist dude. Find me a polygamist society where women have equal ownership rights and economic freedom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 11:40 AM
19

"I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out." Lee Grant
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 11:37 AM
6

What's hilarious is that countless studies are coming out that "soft skills" are the only ones that will be in demand in a few years due to automation. AI is better at all the "hard" computational tasks, and most estimates are that within the next five years we will see about two thirds of current managerial tasks become automated. What we can't automate away are the tasks that require emotional intelligence; understanding others, mentoring, networking, etc. Anybody want to bet that we will sudd…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 12:16 PM
28

This should be higher, because it's really important. My father is a neuroscientist. When he got his degree, "neuroscience" wasn't even a department yet, but was the masculine, STEM, "hard science" wing of the psychology department. Psychology as a field was already well along its way to being seen as a soft, social discipline, not really a science field, now that women were dominating it instead of manly scientists like Freud and Jung and Skinner. I am also a neuroscientist. By the time I was g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 12:20 PM
28

I wouldn't see a problem with that question, if they also asked for a person's sex. Not everyone has a gender identity but everyone has a sex, and only one sex is capable of making children with our bodies. Only one sex experiences the physical consequences of having children, which include risk of permanent injury or death, and it's pretty silly to pretend that won't factor into our willingness to have children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 06:23 PM
45

I don't think it's my kids that suck, I think our entire society and economy make parenting suck. I pay more for childcare than my mortgage, and I live in an area with crazy high housing prices. No subsidized childcare means that, for most people, it's a choice between having a child and ever entertaining the possibility of retirement. Health care in the USA is a nightmare, including getting services for your kids if they have any medical issues or disabilities (which one of mine does). No paid …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 12:41 PM
19

It's the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 05:51 PM
164

Their sidebar description: True Female Purpose For women how have a kink for being degraded and men who have a kink for degrading them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 02:02 PM
565

I mean sure, Reddit banned almost all of the explicitly female-only subs back during the "hate sub" purge. And sure, TwoX is the official sponsor of #AsAMan, and r\feminism is run by an MRA, and you aren't even allowed to post that you don't like penis on any of the "lesbian" subs. But don't worry, r\degradingholes is strictly female-only! It's got twice as many subs as FDS, and for some reason never receives anything approaching the level of criticism that FDS receives, so head on over and enjo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 12:22 PM
195

For years I would insist that I was that woman. Then it was gently pointed out to me that the flasher on the train counts. The groper on the bus counts. The guys screaming slurs from their car as they pass count. The friend who "just" held me down and licked my neck counts. I still think I'm probably in the most fortunate 1% of women. It's just that now I'm really sad when I think about that, because of what that means about what most women go through.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 04:13 PM
18

women can change. Men? Not unless they’re fictional characters The problem is that both men and women are groomed into a system that benefits men. This means it is far less of a stretch to trust that most women, being intelligent human beings, will eventually wise up to how they are being exploited and change their behavior accordingly. Men have both less reason to examine the unfairness of the system (because it's in their favor) and also less reason to change even if they realize how unfair it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 01:29 PM
50

My mom told me about how most of her female friends from high school and college disappeared from her life "during their first marriages." By the time I was born most of those women were back, either finishing or starting their divorces from the men who they had put ahead of their friendships. And the thing is, several of those women are genuinely awesome people. I kind of cringe when I see this sub writing off other women as "pickmes" because I don't think it's that simple. All of my mom's frie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 11:37 AM
5

Married men make more money and advance more quickly in their careers. Married men do less housework than both single men and live-in boyfriends. Married men are healthier and live longer than single men. So, marriage benefits a man's career, his leisure time, and his physical health. (For anybody wondering, married women suffer loss of earning potential and have worse career advancement, spend more hours doing housework, and have shorter life expectancy than single or divorced women.)
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 07:36 PM
290

The problem is that "getting laid" means "getting a man to stick his penis in you until he has an orgasm". Which, duh. Not really a problem for women to get that. If "getting laid" required that the woman have an orgasm, suddenly that sub would make a lot more sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:14 PM
313

This is the sad truth. It's also why so many women resist feminist thinking. The sheer scale of men's hatred for women is overwhelming. Much easier to cling to the belief that men are silly, stupid, or clueless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 01:26 PM
37

My spouse did that once, way back when we were first living together. I concluded that, since obviously he was able to find underwear when he lived alone, the problem was with me touching his stuff and therefore him not knowing if it might have been moved. The solution was for me to never do his laundry. 15 years later and it's working great.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 07:11 PM
92

it's amazing how this fear of being seen as petty or a gold digger is so deeply entrenched in women that they permit men to be the pettiest gold diggers. That's literally the whole point. Men invented the concept of "gold diggers" to obscure the fact that men are the reason women have less money. Men prevented women from having our own money until within the last century. My mother couldn't have her own credit card or open her own bank account until she was in her 30s. Men deliberately created t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 02:38 PM
108

There it is. I'm a firm believer in 50/50. 50/50 means that my spouse and I kept our surnames when we married, and we agreed that each of us gets to pass our surname on to any children we bear or birth with our bodies, and hence none of our children have his surname. 50/50 means that, since I was the one who did 100% of the pregnancies and expressing breast milk, my spouse is in charge of diapers and night-feeds and potty training and barf clean-up. 50/50 means that, since I am the one who shoul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 12:36 PM
263

If you really really hate something you'd avoid it at all cost. I don't know, there seems to be a socialized difference in how men and women experience hatred. Men talk all the time about wanting to fuck someone they hate, because they hate them. It seems intuitively weird to me, the idea that you'd want to stick a vulnerable part of your body into someone you hate, but it's inescapably common. Any time men are talking about a woman or women they hate, they will discuss the various sexual acts t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 11:32 AM
334

I simply ask men to explain to me how they vet their porn to make sure the women in it were consenting to both the acts and the sharing of the video. I have asked this question of several dozen men at this point. In every single case it was obvious from the looks on their faces that not only do they not have the slightest idea how to make sure they aren't watching filmed rape, but that consideration hadn't even occurred to them until I asked. Any man who claims to oppose rape but watches porn la…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 08:52 PM
127

Yes, men and "female gendered people." Like men and vagina-havers. Men and uterus-bearing individuals. Men and birthers. Men and menstruators. No it's not a pattern, what are you talking about?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 10:55 AM
7

Men invented entire religions around male creator gods to cope with the realization that women have the capacity to create life and men do not. Uterus envy is a helluva drug.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 01:36 AM
53

Exactly. Guys want to get views...from women. Women, of course, do not degrade, dehumanize, stalk, rape, or kill men on anything remotely approaching the scale that men do to both women and to each other. Hell, every straight woman I know admits that she prefers getting compliments from other woman more than from men. With men there's always an implicit threat of degradation, if not of physical danger, behind the attention. The reason men don't have OnlyFans is because it's not remotely empoweri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 09:06 PM
67

This is a big part of why I told my spouse that if I had to be the one to do all the pregnancy and childbirth shit, then he had to be the one to do all the diaper changing. It's hilarious to me how many people think that's unfair, meaning unfair to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 08:51 PM
29

So much this. I'm a short woman from a long and proud line of short people. Including my dad, who is both short and of noble character. I am totally predisposed to like short men...and yet the ones I have tried dating have invariably had massive complexes and shitty attitudes about being short. Being insecure and resentful is ugly, no matter how tall you are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 03:42 PM
12

Where sex work is legal, trafficking increases. The short explanation is that legalizing prostitution greatly increases demand (men who want to use prostituted women) without increasing supply (women who want be prostituted).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 10:45 AM
217

Dunno about the rest of you, but I can't bloody well get away from men's opinions. Every advertisement on every magazine cover in every check-out line is shouting about the things I should do to make myself appealing to men. The vast majority of TV shows and movies are written by men, for men, telling men's stories and imparting men's perspectives. The required reading lists for every English class I ever took were full of men, men, men and their manly views. Every history class I have taken was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 09:17 PM
362

Perfect title, perfect summary. Mainstream culture says that the purpose of dating is to find a man. A woman who is partnered is considered to have "succeeded" at dating even if her partner sucks, while a woman who is single cannot (by definition) have succeeded at dating. FDS, on the other hand, says the purpose of dating is to screen potential partners and eliminate those that are unsuitable. A successful female dating strategy may mean that a woman remains single, if the only men she encounte…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 07:45 PM
17

Men are told their entire lives that they are entitled to women's attention and deference. Hence why they feel attacked when we decline to provide those things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 02:31 PM
42

It's even worse: He initially believed them and wrote about the abuse, but then other men got pissed and he realized his own status was at risk. So he reversed course and protected other men while painting girls and women as crazy liars.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 12:24 PM
60

While this quote does obviously apply to persons of either sex, I think it's important to recognize what a gendered phenomenon this is. Think of how the men of Reddit talk about this sub, how we're hateful bigoted incels for discussing the ways men harm us and how to avoid that harm. Meanwhile, r\degradingholes has more than twice as many subscribers as this one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 11:47 AM
48

What I find interesting is how there's no media showing the ways that women could actually overpower men. There are countless male power fantasy vigilante shows (Dexter, Hannibal, etc.), and most of them revolve around extremely elaborate and graphic murders that are only just barely possible for a man to actually accomplish. Yet there's not a single show about, say, a woman who poisons the drinks of rapists in bars. Doesn't rely on superpowers or implausible contortions of probability, wouldn't…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 10:54 PM
10

Come on now, you're being flippant, and we all know it's way more serious than that. Some women decline to have sex with men who want it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 06:58 PM
107

Think of how low a bar is set for men. Think of all the posts from women on Reddit asking if they're a bitch for wishing their partner would put his clothes in the hamper (to make it easier for her to do 100% of the laundry for both of them), or requesting advice on how to ask their partner to brush his own teeth (without hurting his feelings of course), or wondering how to ask their unemployed spouse to please at least watch the kids a couple of hours a day between COD matches. Then realize tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 09:37 PM
62

How does such a educated, ambitious woman end up with a loser like this guy? We groom girls from birth to put up with this kind of treatment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 05:20 PM
21

Yeah, see, this is why posts like these are horrifying. Even if the OP is 100% fiction, LOOK AT HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE SAYING IT IS OKAY. Look how many people are insisting that they totally aren't in any way meaning to shame men who want to use women's motionless bodies to masturbate, because of course we mustn't shame that. The one blessing about Reddit is bringing this shit into the open. Makes it that much easier to laugh at anybody who claims that our culture isn't woman-hating to the core.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 02:30 PM
237

My "That Happened" reflex has become stunted because of the number of times I've seen shit like this (or worse) happen in real life. Back before the pandemic I was out at a restaurant and overheard the dude at the next table talk for 20+ minutes about how much of a bitch his ex was being...because his new girlfriend had two kids and his ex wasn't willing to take care of those two kids during the days she also had custody of their shared child. I vividly remember him saying "It's not like she can…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 02:26 PM
67

This should be at the top. I am American so I get why people are happy, but this is like one of those "heartwarming" stories about a kid having a lemonade stand to pay for his mom's chemo: the fact that we get sent a bill for health care is horrific evil bullshit. All women's health care should be covered 100% by the taxes we already pay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 07:17 PM
107

Can confirm, I openly state that dick size doesn't matter to me because I don't find penetration particularly interesting and prefer a man who is willing to have actual sex (i.e. activities that lead to me having an orgasm). And of course they freak out. They demand that sticking their penises into our bodies be the focus of sex, but are outraged if we then express any preferences about said penises.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 12:31 PM
102

Men need to get better at managing their emotions, rather than expressing them every which way. Men need to get better at articulating their emotions, rather than barfing them all over the place. Men need to get better at regulating their emotions, rather than treating their every impulsive whim or gut reaction as unimpeachable logic. Men need to get better at recognizing their emotions, rather than persisting in the utterly backwards belief that they are the stoic and rational sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 12:18 PM
237

I don't think most women realize how much class consciousness men have. I'm a masculine woman who was "one of the guys" most of my life, and I can tell you that the nice, sensitive, liberal men you are friends with are rating your body like cuts of meat when it's just the guys. They are expressing relief over how they don't have to pretend to give a shit about "all that feminism crap" when you aren't around. They are listening to their friends tell rape jokes and cracking up. They are speculatin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 05:26 PM
343

The whole concept of "gold-digging" women was invented specifically to put women on the defensive and make us feel obligated to prove that we're not like that. When, in reality, throughout all of recorded history it has been men who overwhelmingly drain resources from their wives and mistresses without reciprocal investment. Men are the ones who see their wealth (and leisure time!) increase after marriage, after having children, and after divorcing. Meanwhile, every relationship stage with a man…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 11:45 PM
107

If men were capable of participating without dominating, it might be a different story. I certainly wish they were. It would make it so much easier to involve male allies, and to allow men to educate themselves without requiring that women take extra time out of our days to spoon feed them. Unfortunately, experience has shown me that the only way to stop a space from completely revolving around male perspectives and male priorities is to exclude male people from it entirely. Reddit is a glowing …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 05:00 PM
139

First time I visited my now-spouse's family for the holidays, I was treated to the sight of all the women in the kitchen while the men watched sports. And honestly...I find it both angering and sad. My warm memories of holidays largely include things like the whole family being outside together giving my dad conflicting instructions on how to hang the string lights while he's up on the ladder cursing, or hip-checking each other out of the way in the kitchen when we're all trying to use the cutti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 12:41 PM
96

Capitalism 100% depends upon the unpaid labor of women. The entire world economy would collapse without it. And the reason I can't stand brocialists is because none of them bloody well address this. All the socialist paradises they envision make the same assumption that women will go on doing all this unpaid work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 02:59 PM
5

IMO consent is necessary but not sufficient for a sex act to be okay. A friend of mine is in an abusive relationship. She consents to be with a man who demeans her verbally in public, and batters her privately in their home. She chooses not to report him for the abuse. The fact that she consents to this treatment doesn't make it okay. The fact that she insists the sex is great doesn't make it okay. The fact that she has her own career and finances and could leave, but hasn't yet, doesn't make it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 03:13 PM
109

"patriarchy makes men suppress their feelings ):" Since fucking when, though? Men are literally murdering people by the dozens because of their feelings. Men are dealing with the pandemic so poorly that there's a new article every day about how their unmanaged depressions are crushing their families. Men and boys are so emotional and disruptive that women and girls do markedly better if we're allowed to attend school or work in a male-free environment. For fuck's sake, look at the last year of A…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 12:27 PM
17

Ah but see, through the magic of "consent," anything a man does to a woman is not only good but empowerful as long as she agrees to it. We mustn't question, even for a moment, why a man is happy to stick his dick in a woman who he knows for certain does not want his dick (that's why he's having to pay her). It's always "what about the men" until it comes time to talk about why men are choosing to exploit or harm women. Then, magically, the men's choices disappear from the equation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 12:16 PM
59

It's all a big protection racket. Men "protect women"...from male violence. Men "provide for women"...by giving back the wealth that they steal from women by exploiting our labor without paying us fairly (or at all).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 11:39 AM
182

Sadly, after several decades of wearing my hair in intentionally-masculine short styles, I am forced to inform you all that this is not an effective man-repellant. If only it were so simple, eh?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 11:30 PM
207

"Poverty causes crime!" Women are more likely to live in poverty, yet still we don't rape, assault, or murder at anything approaching the rates of men. "Mental illness causes violence!" Women are more likely to be diagnosed with mental health problems than men, by a substantial margin. "Income inequality causes crime!" Women in the USA couldn't even open a bank account of their own until the 1960s. Forget inequality of ownership, women were owned as property until very recent history. "Men becom…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 04:48 PM
26

Right? Go ahead and threaten me with a good time, broseph.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 11:53 AM
11

One of the possible causes of CP is oxygen deprivation during birth. The risks of this happening are higher for vaginal birth than for a scheduled c-section because the baby is being pushed out through a more restricted opening. Worth noting, however, that the most current research suggested that the majority of CP cases were likely caused by problems that were present in utero, and oxygen deprivation during birthing contributes to a minority of cases.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 10:26 AM
16

Like most sexist myths, it's projection. Men have been using pregnancy to trap and control women for centuries. Even apart from the overt reproductive coercion seen in far too many relationships, how many times do you hear women talk about how their husband changed as soon as she got pregnant? How many stories do you hear about men who decide that during or soon after pregnancy is the time to drop bombshells about fetishes or gambling debts or whatever the hell else? It's all part and parcel wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 02:27 PM
2

I would love a code if you are able to share one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 12:36 PM
51

Aimee Challenor was directly and publicly involved in last year's purge of women's and feminist subreddits. Reddit knew exactly who they were working with. My guess is they very intentionally and knowingly hired Challenor but were hoping it would stay quiet. Then Challenor impulsively tried to scrub the unfavorable article about themselves on ukpolitics and wound up sparking this entire mess. So Reddit is cutting their losses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 12:35 PM
7

I'm with you. My now-spouse and I were together over a decade before we married, and I was the one who didn't want to get hitched. He was all for it. Marriage is a shit deal for women. It's just that, if you choose to have kids, being unmarried is an even shittier deal. If I hadn't decided to have kids I definitely would never have agreed to marry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 10:25 PM
17

Punch one in the balls Shower thought: Kicking men in the balls is considered Not Okay because it's a uniquely male weakness, and men have mutually agreed not to expose this in order to maintain the image of themselves as overwhelmingly stronger than women. If ball-kicking were standard in fights, most would end with one guy writhing on the ground gasping in the fetal position. Doesn't exactly make them look tough. Even the victor of the fight doesn't come out looking good, because all it took t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 02:18 PM
28

What pisses me off is that all you have to abstain from is sticking penis in vagina. Most women don't even orgasm from that anyway. Want sex? Great! Go down on her! Mutual masturbation! Use literally any other part of your body to stimulate her clitoris! If you're worried about pregnancy, good news: you both can have billions of orgasms together with absolutely zero pregnancy risk whatsoever! All you have to do is not orgasm when your penis is near her genitals! That's literally it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 12:26 PM
43

I don't think it's so much "drifting apart" as a normal stage for adolescence. Teenagers are trying to define themselves as distinct individuals, so naturally shoving parents away is part of that. People are so determined to divide women against each other, though, that it gets made into a older-women-versus-younger-women thing time and again. Even fucking Disney movies constantly harp on this idea of the older woman being evil and wicked and trying to trap the younger woman. It's such a trope b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 11:25 PM
38

Men who don’t pressure women for sex also benefit from this being the norm, Not all men rape women, or hit women, or demean women, but all men benefit from living in a world where the standards are so low that they will enjoy praise and adulation if they refrain from raping, hitting, and demeaning women. All men benefit from how the threat of rapes keeps women in line. All men benefit from women laboring under an extra burden of fear that prevents us from moving as freely, traveling as widely, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 10:37 PM
10

All of this. So well said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 02:45 PM
42

Notice there is no real feminine equivalent for “emasculated” or “ball busting.” Can't help noticing that the equivalent to "emasculate" would be "effeminate." Effeminate already means the same thing as emasculate(d). Kinda underscores the fact that femininity is intended to be demoralizing, weakening, and demeaning, but we're only supposed to notice that when it is inflicted upon men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 11:17 AM
80

It's always fun to watch heads explode when I comment on relationship posts about contraceptive issues with, "Hey, they can just have sex that doesn't involve him ejaculating anywhere near her vagina." The majority of women do not orgasm from having a penis in their vagina anyhow. If anything, sticking to oral or manual sex options is MORE LIKELY TO RESULT IN MUTUAL ORGASM. Yet men will act like I'm trying to cut their dicks right off if I suggest this instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 10:48 PM
3

No, because if there is a social safety net then even fewer women will be desperate enough to enter prostitution or stay in abusive relationships because they have no means of escape. Anything that decreases the ability of men to access women's bodies is bad, ya see?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 03:32 PM
52

Suggesting that women should be able to have woman-only conversations about female-specific problems will get you branded a bigot on any of the "women's" subs on Reddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:43 PM
60

I feel a lot more sympathy for my MIL now. She's...not a likeable woman. She left some pretty major emotional scars on all of her kids. But the thing is, she probably should never have married and had kids, because she doesn't seem to get much happiness out of either one. She did those things because she was brought up to believe that was her highest purpose in life, when really she seems happiest in the career that she launched after her kids were older. Selfishly I'm glad that her kids exist b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 11:58 AM
76

And this is why violence against women needs to be classified as terrorism. One man kills one woman, and countless women feel their world contract out of fear. Every woman I've spoken to about this story has talked about how it makes her second-guess something about her own daily activities, or how it reinforces her already-restricted practices. Meanwhile, all men--even the good ones--benefit from living in a world where every public place belongs to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 08:38 PM
41

It's why I, a woman who does have kids, will goddamn well fight anybody who tries to convince other women to have kids. Our world takes the unavoidable biological unfairness of childbearing and magnifies it a thousand times over by making sure motherhood is also socially unfair, economically unfair, and politically unfair. Oh, and as if childbearing weren't physically fucked up enough as it is, you get the bonus of upping the odds you will get fucking murdered by the man who impregnated you. Hav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 02:14 AM
25

Yeah I don't think they realize that if the only choice a man gives us is between him raping us or raping that woman over there, the logical answer is to get rid of the man entirely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 05:57 PM
24

This was a big reason why I didn't want to marry: I hate the social aspects of being a wife. One big thing I did to maintain my boundaries was to keep my name. Based on how people react to it, it is definitely the clearest possible signal that you reject conventional heterosexual relationship norms. I've had people ask me why I even got married if I wasn't going to change my name. That's the place people are viewing hetero relationships from: if the woman isn't going to give up her identity and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 12:40 PM
17

She's the one in an imaginary competition with other women. Because divide-and-conquer is a key way to keep women vulnerable, and men know it. Set women against each other and they won't be supporting and strengthening each other. Keep them fighting one another and they won't be able to compare notes, realize how much they have in common, and unite against what is really harming them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 02:51 PM
316

Sometimes I wonder if straight guys are attracted to women at all. Most of them really don't seem to like women. They certainly don't like our natural bodies at all, given how angry they get if we don't shave and pluck and paint and blow-dry and corset our bodies like mad. They complain endlessly about what a burden it is to have to listen to us speak, or share in our interests, or contribute to a shared life with us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 03:58 PM
29

What's sad is it could theoretically have happened in any country in the world. There is literally no nation in the entire world that doesn't depend on the unpaid labor of women. There is no economy in the world that could function as it currently exists while paying women fairly for all the work they do. There is nowhere in the world a woman could go where this situation is reversed and men are the ones doing the bulk of unpaid and unrecognized labor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 02:19 PM
15

Unfortunately I think we're approaching the ban point; every women's sub that reaches a certain size is either forced to adopt male-friendly moderation or simply banned. It's been the pattern throughout history, really. Any time women build something of our own, men will demand access and then take it over until we're forced out. So we start again, build again, and they take what we've made again. Almost a weird echo of biology. Women are the ones capable of making something new, while men mostl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 02:18 PM
258

Yep, came to gawk at the "female incels," and found myself actually laughing out loud when I realized that what has Reddit freaking out is just...basic feminism. All of the other "women's" and "feminist" subs on this hellsite are run by and for men, so of course the poor ducklings are confused and scared to see actual women having discussions that center actual women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 01:45 PM
210

During the early years of my parents' marriage, my mother clipped a one-panel cartoon out of the Sunday funny pages: It shows a man banging a can against a kitchen counter, while the can opener sits right next to him. A woman (presumably his wife) is peering in the doorway at him. It is captioned, "The less you appear to know, the less you will be expected to do." That clipping was taped to the fridge all through my childhood. At some point we got it framed. Forever a testament to my mother's re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 10:04 PM
19

The two things aren't mutually exclusive for me. I can be angry at a woman who tries to drag down other women, without losing sight of the system that groomed her to do so from birth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 11:04 AM
41

Serious question: How do mothers of sons handle this world? It seems so bleak, so impossible to raise a son who won't become garbage, because no matter how great a mother you are he will be growing up in a world full of men like this. Everything around him teaches him that you're subhuman. The entire social structure is set up to reward him for behaving like an entitled cowardly baby, and to punish him for showing any respect or self-discipline. How the fuck do you stand up to that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 02:30 PM
125

Out of desperation, my spouse and I hired a day nanny to watch our small kids during a few weeks of the pandemic when daycare was closed. (We both work full time at jobs we don't want to lose.) We could only afford it for a few weeks, but let me tell you it was fucking amazing. She did art projects with the kids so that we could mail them to grandma and grandpa or the cousins. She got our preschooler baking with her so that we had fresh muffins or rolls twice a week. Every day around 4:30 she'd …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 02:26 PM
112

They really do hunger for the days when a woman had no choice but to settle for the least-bad man available.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 12:20 PM
290

I am so thankful to have a good old fashioned bra-burning castrating bitch of a feminist mother. And I almost feel sorry for my soft conservative Christian mother-in-law. Poor MIL has watched her son--her firstborn, her little prince--marry a woman who not only didn't take his name but also insisted on passing her own name to the grandchildren. A woman who has agreed that he should be the one to scale back to part-time hours to take on more childcare. A woman who refuses to take on Woman Work, l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 12:54 PM
141

And, for the record, "traditional" always has meant this. I see so many people acting like it's new or different for women to be working full-time while also working a "second shift" at home. The only thing new about this is the part where any portion of our work is paid. The imbalance itself has always been this way. All over the world, in every nation and culture, it is traditional for women to work at least as hard if not harder than men, and to receive less or no pay and recognition for thei…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 01:44 PM
56

I think "bumbling" is being generous. 40% of cops admit to beating their or wives, girlfriends, or children. Tells you a lot about the sort of laws they are inclined to enforce. Men have built a whole system of classifying which women are expendable, and a massive, hellish, self-contradicting rule book for all the things women have to do in order to not deserve being raped and murdered. They will spin all of this as advice for women on how to stay safe, when really it's just instructions for men…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:08 PM
72

Kind of a tangent but one of my pet peeves about the true crime community is the selective blindness about the single most common motive for a man killing a woman: entitlement. I had to stop even reading forums about Serial because of the number of people who say that their reason for not believing Adnan's guilt is that they can't see a motive. As if men don't murder their exes for moving on all the fucking time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 02:22 PM
101

If a woman doesn't change the oil in her car and it breaks down, men make all sorts of condescending comments and hold it up as proof of how helpless and stupid women are. Meanwhile a man will be coughing blood for a month but refuse to see a doctor about it, and we're all expected to pretend like this is because men are "tough" and "stoic" rather than because they're helpless stupid babies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 08:58 PM
23

My first thought was whatever white collar crime would take the most of Jeff Bezos' money, so I could end world hunger in a single stroke. It would never occur to me to want to murder or rape someone. I don't see the appeal. What the fuck is wrong with men?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 08:45 PM
32

Made my day to read this. Your generation is dealing with some serious shit, and I am endlessly impressed to see young women like you showing such maturity and strength in the face of everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 10:59 AM
59

"It's the worst kind of prejudice...the kind against ME!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 01:40 PM
159

Women hate men for constantly demanding (and taking) our time, effort, attention, and bodies. Men hate women for refusing to grant unquestioned access to our time, effort, attention, and bodies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 01:36 PM
12

This is my feeling. I never wanted an engagement ring and am glad I don't have one. But, my spouse paid for both of our wedding bands, because he was the one who wanted to get married and have rings in the first place. If he'd have asked me to pay for half, I'd simply have said no to both the rings and the marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 08:26 PM
5

And there's always a complaint about "this sub just always tells people to break up, so annoying" no shit, Meanwhile I'm over here sipping the "Most Relationships Are Shit Deals For Women And She'd Be Better Off Single" tea...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 03:05 PM
18

I about tore the head off a relative who tried to praise my spouse for doing this stuff. No, doing his share of the work does not make my spouse "amazing" or "wonderful." It means he is fulfilling his basic obligations as an adult or partner. If you wouldn't praise a woman for doing it (and you sure as fuck never have), then don't praise a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 03:07 PM
83

I'm fine with giving 100% responsibility to women as long as we also get 100% of the power. If they want to insist that women are getting ourselves pregnant all by ourselves, then women can hold sole legal custody of children all by ourselves. Why would men have any legal standing in the first place, if women are the ones single-handedly making all the babies?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 07:31 PM
134

Also there is no such thing as "vaginal orgasm." All female orgasms are generated by the clitoris, it's just that (thanks to the ignorance and prejudice of male-dominated medicine) we've only recently learned that the clitoris is a complex structure which can be stimulated both externally and from inside the vagina.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 01:10 PM
39

And cue her at pickup "my husband doesn't want me to work". Always, always replace this with "My husband doesn't want me to get paid for work." Because that's always, always what it actually means.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 11:01 AM
1

Yes, men have some downsides, like not getting custody of the kids as often, being taken less seriously as victims of sexual harrassment or domestic abuse etc Men who seek custody of their children are overwhelmingly likely to receive it. It's just that most men don't want to take care of their kids in the first place, and don't seek custody after divorce because they'd just as soon have the woman continue doing all the work. Men who batter the mothers of their children are actually disproportio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 10:45 PM
83

My brother-in-law has a shelving unit full of unopened videogames. Like still in the plastic wrap. He always has to buy them brand new but doesn't seem to give a shit about actually playing them while they're new. Yes, this is absolutely a reflection of his over-all personality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 08:20 PM
13

I disagree; I'm not here to bag on other women, especially not younger women who have to navigate the sexist hellscape of current society and dating culture. If I wanted to hear women being insulted, criticized, and blamed for the shitty way men treat them, I would go to literally any other sub on reddit. Liberal feminist women absolutely have my sympathy. Hell, heterosexual women in general have my sympathy. It's a lose-lose situation everywhere you look. Yes, I think they are making the wrong …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 01:28 PM
58

She wouldn’t be fucking him if it weren’t for the money This. Prostitution is a situation where both parties know, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that one party does not desire to have sex with the other. Intentionally sticking your penis in someone who you know, beyond any doubt, does not desire your penis is a sign that you are a broken failure of a human.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 06:18 PM
47

Personal example: My spouse recently changed jobs, and deliberately sought out a part-time position. Why? Because we have two small children and the pandemic has massively shifted our lives around due to lack of childcare, and I have always been clear that I am not okay with letting my career be the one that gets "mommy-tracked." Something had to give, and my spouse made sure it was his career rather than mine. I chose to have kids with this man specifically because he had proven that he would d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 03:40 PM
130

He knew full well what he was doing, he just thought she didn’t. Louder, and on repeat. You know all those posts on TwoX from women suddenly realizing that a "bad date" from years back was actually rape? You think rapists don't read those posts? They know they are rapists. They also know that women are groomed from birth to never tell a man "no," to second-guess their own instincts and judgment, to feel guilty for making noise or commotion, and to take on responsibility for men's sexual behavior…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 05:35 PM
24

Let's just start with OSHA, shall we? Anybody who has worked at a job that involved human bodily fluids will have a sense for the kind of PPE that "sex workers" would be entitled to have provided for them, were "sex work" actually treated like any other form of work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 07:01 PM
11

And a month or two of maternity leave? It is very common to have zero paid maternity leave in the USA. The Family Medial Leave Act only guarantees that you're allowed to take unpaid leave without getting fired. I had no paid leave for either of my pregnancies. And I have a doctoral degree and work "white collar" jobs. The USA is a backwards hellhole in so many ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 10:21 AM
31

Girls maturing faster is never given as a reason for boys to step back and let girls lead. Or for boys to admire and respect girls. It's just a line used to justify why, even from childhood, girls are expected to endure more and expect less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 11:00 AM
47

"Sex worker" is a term invented by the pimp lobby. It's useful to them because it lumps together the people being sold (mostly women) and the people doing the selling (mostly men), and also shifts focus onto these "workers" and away from the people doing the buying (again mostly men). Calling it "sex work" is also a way to sanitize the reality: it's about men purchasing sexual access to women who do not want to be with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 07:27 PM
40

I saw a tweet to the effect of, "I will never have a dick in my mouth again, and if that bothers you die mad about it." And holy shit the number of people upset about it was...unreal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 01:21 AM
24

Before FDS I used to believe that it was a woman’s choice. But the wider implications of sex work and OnlyFans are brushed over with that argument. It's such a stupid distraction tactic. They're always What About The Men on every other subject, except when it comes to shit like this, when they suddenly want it to be all about whether the woman chooses it or not. When what is relevant is his choice to use OnlyFans. It's the same as with prostitution. I'm not interested in hearing about whether th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 10:50 AM
21

This is what I think about every time I see posts that sneer at women who put up with horrible men, like those poor women at breakingmom. "Why don't they just leave?!" To the women who wonder that, think of any time in your life that you saw positive relationships modeled. Think of any time that you saw a man treat a woman with true respect. Think of any time your value as a human being was recognized and honored, especially by a man. Now, replace all those times with the opposite. A lot of wome…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 10:44 AM
40

Interesting observation. I suppose it's half an half. Society set them up for failure by telling them they don't need to do anything other than be born a man and they will get everything they want. But reality doesn't match that message and they become angry and bitter because of it. It's not just telling them that. From childhood, boys are not expected to work as hard as girls. Boys get paid more allowance for doing fewer chores than their sisters. Boys have more leisure time, boys sports and a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 12:06 AM
34

Even the ones that weren't intended to be safe spaces were at least supposed to be about giving women room to share our views. I used to be one of the people arguing that it's good for men to be a part of conversations on women's issues in order to get them involved and active for change. Unfortunately Reddit has quite effectively shown that men are not able to participate without taking over, talking over, and eventually shutting out women completely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 01:08 PM
61

I have tried visiting a lot of “female spaces” on Reddit and this is the only one I’ve found that is both thoughtfully moderated and able to handle discourse on subjects we’ve been taught not to speak of in public. Is there any other explicitly female space on Reddit any more? My understanding was that pretty much all of them were banned a while back. I know all the main "women's" subs like TwoX or the "feminism" subs are male-dominated and make sure to have male moderators, and all the "lesbian…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 10:59 AM
60

And also...why do women come to message boards to get advice on how to make men stop doing things? They want to believe he has some kind of blind spot, that he's a great person but for some reason he just doesn't get this one little thing, and if they can use the right words then the lightbulb will go off and he will stop being cruel. The reality that the man who impregnated you simply does not give a fuck is too scary and painful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 05:19 PM
98

They also do not want us to react like men. I say this as someone who has been One Of The Guys since primary school. I learned damn quick that there is a limit to how I'm allowed to joke with the guys, and the expectation is still that I will be "nicer" and will care if I hurt their feelings (an expectation they do not have for one another). God forbid you stand your ground like a man would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 05:10 PM
327

Holy shit and I fell for it. I was actually pleased with the OP and agreeing. This is why being around women in a community like this is so important. I'm as mean a hairy-legged feminist killjoy as you're likely to meet, and I still fall into the trap of low expectations for men. It's so important to keep each other sane and grounded.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 03:40 PM
52

It's also projection for them to think that being without a romantic partner means being alone. That's true for men, as a class, because men tend to be garbage at maintaining social networks for themselves. Without a wife to send birthday presents to their families, or plan parties to get together with friends, or make small talk with the neighbors to form community bonds, men basically wind up with no meaningful support systems. Meanwhile, women over 40 who are single have more leisure time tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 05:51 PM
129

And then the comments are full of people (men) being like "Golly women never communicate, the problem here is lack of communication, how could a man simply know that his woman is a human being who is deserving of kindness and basic decency? This relationship is definitely worth saving and fie on all the downvoted posts suggesting a divorce!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 01:19 PM
278

Society has brainwashed women so brutally. She really out here genuinely asking "am I an asshole for asking my boyfriend not to piss all over the bathroom?" This is what gets me about all the relationship and AITA posts from women. It's not so much about how foul and lazy men are as a class, it's seeing how women have been beaten down to the point where they ask if they're assholes for asking for less than bare-minimum respect and dignity in their own homes. A glowing example was that post the o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 01:02 PM
42

I can still vividly remember the first time I heard several peers laugh about this dynamic in their families, because I was so crushingly saddened by it. My dad delights in giving thoughtful gifts. There's this particular sort of kindly smug elf look he gets when he really nailed it, when he knows he surprised you with something perfect, like a prequel you didn't know existed in the graphic novel series that you love. We didn't have a lot of money growing up, so it's not like the gifts he could …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 11:10 AM
3

24 was a long time ago for me. My life hasn't ended at all. Right? I can't think of anything I had at 24 that I don't have a ton more of now, with the sole exception of sleep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 02:23 PM
27

I'll say it a million times: Most people define "sex" as putting a penis into an orifice until the penis ejaculates, so of course men want sex vastly more than do women. Men decided to define sex as beginning and ending with their dicks, and then whine about how women aren't interested in it. Connect the dots, lads, you can do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 12:12 AM
11

Are miners paid less the more experience they have?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 02:39 PM
93

Um excuse me but clearly you are coal-miner-phobic. How dare you suggest that coal miners aren't empowered by their treatment. They consent you know, which means they are definitely not exploited or abused. By suggesting that there might be something wrong with how they are treated you are violating their agency and painting them as victims. You really need to examine your puritanical ideas about mining. You're probably just insecure in your own ability to mine coal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 01:28 PM
225

"But all men watch porn these days!" say the male lurkers. Oh I'm sorry did I fucking stutter? My statement still stands. Thiiiiiiiis. I will never again get involved with a man who uses porn. If this means I never get with a man again, fine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 01:24 PM
54

Dude I paid for a bound copy of my thesis, envisioning having this mighty leather-bound tome sitting on my coffee table for at least a decade so every visitor could admire it...but I forgot to read the specs closely and it turns out they print them using such tiny font and such thin paper that I got a book about the size and weight of a paperback you'd take to the beach. Sad trombone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 11:26 PM
29

Now that I think about it, my thesis was a lot harder and more traumatizing than my pregnancies. Granted, I had almost obscenely easy pregnancies, while my thesis mentor may or may not have been Satan incarnate. So your mileage may vary. But still.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 11:23 PM
83

It's not even "don't have sex," it's "don't ejaculate in a woman's vagina." Like, literally, orgasm anywhere else. If you're actually worried about a woman doing things you don't approve of with your sperm, then it's really fucking simple: don't put your sperm in her body. Boom. Problem solved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 11:18 PM
93

It never stops knocking the wind out of me, when I'm reminded how men really do not see women as human beings. Porn content gets removed because of all the rape and abuse and trafficking of women and girls...and literally every single top comment chain about it is dozens of men commiserating about their sad boners. And there are hundreds of comment chains in dozens of different threads. Men mournfully talking about their decimated playlists that used to have hundreds of videos but now have only …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 02:57 PM
21

I think a far bigger problem is the proportion of women who have been low-key terrorized since birth to the point where they know, either consciously or subconsciously, that refusing to service men will get them badly hurt. Don't blame women and girls for this. Patriarchy is a system that gets to work on us before we're even born, shaping us and training us and threatening us and forever reminding us that we exist to be things for men. The fact that so many women reject this system is proof not …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 01:35 PM
14

Somebody cross-stitch this onto a sampler so I can hang it above my mantle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 01:32 PM
35

Yeah I actually stumbled over that. Like...literally bringing yourself to orgasm while watching violence against women, and then somehow convincing yourself that you don't "accept" violence against women? How can that even work in someone's head?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 10:26 PM
31

I am against it because it cannot be a free choice in our existing society, given how much pressure is put on this tradition. This doesn't mean I'm against the women who do make the choice to change their names. Any more than I'm against women who get married very young, or who give up their jobs for their husbands, or who just flat-out marry the wrong guy...I may think those are bad choices, but I am not against other women and I don't assume they're bad or stupid or wrong. There can be good re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 01:33 PM
55

Yeah but like...they aren't even oppressed in this case? Men's mental health is, and always has been, taken more seriously and given more accommodation than women's mental health. Hell, historically it has been common to institutionalize or drug women who are entirely sane, if they happen to get too uppity. The mental health profession has always served male interests above female, and I say that as someone whose mother is a (very good) psychologist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 01:27 PM
62

Porn is why, if my husband and I are ever parted, I will never date or marry again. I am not willing to be involved with a man who uses pornography. Men tell me that their sexuality is porn, that all men use porn, and that asking a man to give up porn is unfair. So I take them at their word.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 01:44 PM
52

Also, age gaps don't become less important as you get older. Imagine if you were 48 and he was 64. Pretend that everything otherwise works out perfectly and you end up in a long-term relationship. You're still in the prime of life, while he is heading into his elder years. Congrats, you've just signed on to miss out on your own middle years because you're caregiver to an old man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 10:14 AM
58

So many men have expressed confusion about my appearance, because I wear my hair short, don't use any make-up, and buy all my clothes in the "men's" department...but then they find out I'm not a lesbian. Most men can at least sort of understand that butch lesbians don't give a fuck what men find attractive. But any woman who can experience attraction to men is assumed to want to prioritize attracting men. I explain that this is what I find comfortable. "Well sure but what about being attractive?…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 01:30 PM
216

"My boyfriend calls me horrible names and hits me, but afterward he's so sweet and loving." "Girl that is textbook abuse!" "But I was asking for it. And I love him and want to be with him." "It is not okay for anybody to treat you that way, and nobody who loved you would want to hurt you, no matter what!" "But he orgasms while beating me." "Oh, in that case it's a totally normal kink and you are empowered by submitting to his beatings and anybody who says otherwise is a sex-negative prude."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:37 PM
50

When, in reality, the problem seems to be that I have a higher opinion of men than they do themselves. For instance, I believe men are capable of understanding the mountains of data showing that pornography is harmful to men and catastrophically damaging to women, and I believe men are also capable of refraining from using pornography as a rational response to this information. Men are the ones who try to argue me out of these beliefs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 11:29 PM
19

I think part of the problem is how fuzzy a word "beautiful" can be. Things I have referred to as beautiful include: A beanbag chair A casserole Freddy Mercury My children A horse An anastomosed blood vessel Different kinds of beauty. And when talking to a person, particularly a female person, "beauty" has a whoooooooooole bunch of baggage attached to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 02:33 PM
53

This is the piece I wish I would have put together years ago. It's not that men are innate hunters, or that women are innately passive, or that there's something shameful about women being the aggressor in a relationship. It's that heterosexual relationships are completely unequal and therefore it does not make sense for men and women to use the same strategies. Women face massively, massively more risk from men than men do from women. Even in a completely healthy and mutual relationship with th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 01:26 PM
74

"Have you tried gently explaining to him that some women enjoy orgasms? It's not really fair to expect your partner to be a mind-reader. Despite the fact that all men watch porn and this is a positive thing embraced by everyone because it educates them about sex, men cannot be expected to know that women might like orgasms. Also, men are more visual than women, which is why he isn't seeing your lack of pleasure and isn't interested in seeing you have an orgasm. Try communicating!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 07:23 PM
41

If sex work was work, the demand wouldn't be highest for the individuals with no experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 11:19 PM
12

My kids are in the same ballpark of ages as hers and I can't get jack shit done with both of them home, and that's WITH a spouse who does his share of childcare. Women are fucking amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 12:36 PM
54

If I give birth, he'll be in charge of changing nappies and burping and washing the baby. Did this with my spouse, highly recommend. I did 100% of the work and supplied 100% of the physical material to make our children. Him doing the diapers and the bathing is, frankly, still a trade in his favor. It's the bare minimum all women should demand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 02:39 AM
13

Why would we want to be intimate with someone we're mad at? Yeah that's the piece that's different though. Men talk about fucking women they are furious with all the time. If anything, hating a woman seems to make men even more eager to inflict their dicks upon her, if mainstream reddit threads are any indication. So, to them, the idea of not wanting to fuck someone because you're angry at them doesn't compute.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 04:11 PM
5

EXACTLY. This is why seeing a man's place is only the first step of vetting, IMO. Absolutely you can weed out a lot of gross dudes by seeing the filth that they choose to live in, but there are also guys who will take wonderful care of their own things while happily trashing shared spaces and shared items.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 07:15 PM
31

Christ, this. I know this sub has a mixed stance on cohabitating before marriage but I found it massively useful. I know plenty of men who say they do their share around the house, and then I watch their wives (or, shudder, mothers) doing 70% of their chores for them. So, I wanted to see actual proof, through my partner's sustained actions, that he actually would pull his weight in our home. Also, a lot of men have been so spoiled by a lifetime of entitlement that they legitimately think they ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 03:41 PM
12

"Masculinity" can only exist if you carve out certain positive traits and say that they belong to men but not women. Or decide that certain virtues cease to be virtues when embodied by a woman. Damn right I want to end masculinity (and femininity). Gender is bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 01:39 AM
98

No see, we're "incels." Because we advocate that women voluntarily refrain from dating and fucking men who do not meet women's individual personal standards. This is obviously just as bad as the men who argue that they have a right to stick their penises in women, and women who deny them this right are oppressing them and deserve enslavement, rape, and death.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 01:38 PM
14

My dad is an amazing father and all-around wonderful guy, but my mom still taught me that you never give up your own income and let yourself be dependent upon a man. And my dad, being an amazing father and all-around wonderful guy, agrees.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 03:22 PM
68

I have kids and a career, so society shits on me for "abandoning" my children to daycare in favor of having my own job and income. If I stayed home with my kids, society would shit on me for "not working" and expect me to be endlessly grateful to my spouse for single-handedly "supporting the family." If my spouse dies or leaves me, I'll be shit on for being a single mother. If I'd never had kids, society would shit on me for being a barren spinster. Here's the secret, fellow women: Shitting on w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 01:35 PM
7

I am still against it. Women aren't vending machines that you put actual coins into until sex falls out, either. The very fact that men are capable of having sex with prostitutes is a sign of how fucked up they are. A prostitute is a woman who you know, beyond any doubt whatsoever, does not want to have sex with you, since if she wanted to have sex then you wouldn't be having to pay her to submit to it. Knowing for a fact that someone does not want your dick should be enough reason to not stick …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 08:06 PM
24

They complain that women only go for "the top 20% of men," but like...have you seen the 80%? Not our fault that only a small minority of men bother to make themselves presentable and functional as adults.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 04:36 PM
71

If it’s important to YOU, it needs to be important to THEM This. I did not want a romantic proposal. So, my then-boyfriend got me a box of my favorite chocolates, and when I asked what the occasion was he said "Well, if you want, they are engagement chocolates. But if you don't, they're just-because chocolates." This was perfect for me. And he knew this because he listens to me. If you're proposing to someone, what should matter most is demonstrating that you know and value what is important to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 04:30 PM
100

Also, like, most dudes these days have stretch marks. Also receding hairlines. And increasingly awful skin. And nose and ear hair (HOLY SHIT WHY DID NOBODY WARN ME) to go with the hairy necks and backs and asses. And the saggy, saggy old man ball sacks. Men have to suffer the indignity of growing old and seeing their body decay anyways, without ever having the option of using that body to create a new human life. They are so, so salty that women have a choice and a power that they will never be …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 04:15 PM
9

Ah, I see your point, very true. If men feel abused by liberal feminism then just wait until they encounter actual feminism!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 03:31 PM
17

And how if women say that want to be liberated from the patriarchy, all of a sudden that means men are going to suffer. Well, but they are. Men have built an entire global economy upon the unpaid labor of women. Society would quite literally grind to a halt if women were no longer performing countless hours of domestic and care work for which we are never compensated in any form. The majority of heterosexual relationships are--objectively, measurably--beneficial for men while a net loss for wome…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 02:12 PM
47

It's so fucked up because there is no reason beyond male entitlement for this to be the case. I think most men don't even realize the ways that they treat women's time as having no value. For instance, I've seen so many men talk about how breastfeeding is great because it's "free" while formula is expensive. Except it's only free if you ignore the cost of the woman's time and labor...which is exactly what they do. Or the men who talk about how they "support" their stay-at-home wives, when in man…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 01:24 PM
2

I'm sorry you've spent 2 years with someone who made you feel this way, but your post about leaving him made my day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 10:02 PM
3

Delayed reply, sorry, but yeah it's just as simple as separate laundry baskets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 03:18 PM
11

This is the real cost to me. My spouse and I keep separate personal accounts for "fun money" and frankly I don't give a shit how he spends his. If he wants to blow it all on games, have at it. But the thing is, I was a gamer myself (we used to play together a ton) and I know what a time sink it is. We have two small kids, full-time jobs, a pandemic to deal with, and a house to maintain...there literally aren't enough hours in the day. The only way for my spouse to have time in which to game woul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 02:40 PM
1

Personally I would allow male leadership to max out at the percentage of female leadership in the country in question, which would not only reflect our values of gender equality, but also the reality we live in. Well that's probably where the divide is, really, since my values as a feminist center on liberation, not equality. If one's goal is liberation then making space for the oppressor class in the leadership of one's movement is not really gonna scan.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 03:46 PM
4

No, sexual orientation refers to the sex(es) to which one experiences attraction. Since humans have two sexes, there are three possible sexual orientations: exclusively attracted to same sex, exclusively attracted to opposite sex, or attracted to persons of either sex. (Asexuality is the absence of sexual attraction, so calling it a sexual orientation is like calling atheism a religion.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 06:07 PM
16

I used to think so, too, but then I watched as one organization after another appointed men to leadership positions over women. Because hey, if men can be feminist just as much as women then what's wrong with a feminist org being led by a feminist who happens to be a man? And I've watched as organization after organization started prioritizing "inclusiveness" while deriding the notion that women and girls should have a movement about ourselves. Just this week, UN Women posted to Facebook that th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 02:59 PM
11

So why is it okay to reddit when somebody says they want to do so before actually doing it? Nah, see, it's okay because she was asking for it she consented to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 01:24 PM
43

I can’t believe we live in a world where a woman is just expected to accept that her SO would like to beat and choke her. So anything that makes a man’s dick hard is automatically okay? Right? Like, oh, you want to hit and choke me, but it's okay because you get aroused while doing it? Yeah that makes it worse. You do see how that makes it worse, right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 01:22 PM
14

As the last 30 years or so have shown us, when you include men in feminism your discussions of feminism are then forced to include men's opinions. Because the very gender dynamic that feminism exists to fight is why men cannot help speaking over women, and why all of us reflexively defer to and listen to men more than women. Feminism is the movement for the liberation of women and girls. Feminism recognizes that our sex is the basis upon which we are oppressed, and men are the oppressor class on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 01:19 PM
15

Right?! Like, if you feel ashamed of your desire to beat off when you see women being strangled, then congrats...that's called a conscience! Follow that feeling!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 07:26 PM
106

A male friend of mine was once complaining to me that his girlfriend was mad at him even though he cooked her dinner. After a few rounds of back-and-forth it came out that the thing she was mad at him about had nothing to do with dinner, and would not be impacted by dinner in any way. When I tried to point this out, he got frustrated and said "But [past girlfriend] was always on me about cooking more!" And like, dude, there's your problem right there: you think women are some kind of schizophren…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 07:23 PM
16

Can confirm: Have been not doing my spouse's laundry for almost two decades at this point. (Also not doing any of his chores or paying his bills.) It's a good way to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 01:56 PM
143

What's especially infuriating is that people seem perfectly able to grasp this sort of harm in any other context. If a study reported that watching ~30 minutes of videos showing graphic racist violence every day leads to an increasing inability to view people of other races as full human beings, the comments section would be full of "No shit, why do we need a study to tell us that?!" Yet talk about men routinely watching videos of women being called slurs, hit, choked, and otherwise abused, and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 01:53 PM
56

Example: Naming conventions when it comes to children. Patriarchal naming is tradition, therefore the "starting point" for negotiations is that the man--who does literally 0% of the work in physically building and birthing the child--will get 100% name rights. When I assert my belief that the party who makes a child with her body is entitled to sign her work, everyone expects me to be willing to compromise. Perhaps a hyphen? Or a combined name? Or pick a third name altogether perhaps! But...why?…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 11:14 AM
37

You know it's funny, someone bursts in to "WHAT ABOUT THE MEN" any time women are talking about anything...except BDSM, where it's the opposite. Any time people try to talk about how fucked up it is that men are getting off on hurting women, people rush to reframe it into defending the "choices" of the women being hurt. But for once the issue really is WHAT ABOUT THE MEN. What needs to be discussed is why so many men are so very thrilled to hit women. Personally I don't give a shit whether she w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 02:57 PM
16

So, it took my partner over a decade to marry me...because I was the one who didn't want to get married. I've seen so many couples where the man does a 180 after they tie the knot. It's like as soon as he thinks he's got her locked down, he stops even pretending to respect her or pull his weight. And it never seemed like marriage stopped guys from cheating or abandoning their families, even if his wife had sacrificed her career and interests for the sake of the family. I valued my independence m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 12:30 PM
78

And the saddest part is this was the criticism my mother told me about the "free love" movement of her generation. (Turns out that the "freedom" to have sex without any attachments wasn't quite as liberating for women back before they could legally get an abortion or hold a credit card in their own name.) It's a bummer to watch each generation of young women make the same mistakes as their mothers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 11:16 AM
92

Thiiiiiiiiiiiis. You've just had a baby with this man. You're now tied to him for life. Your body is, at best, somewhat jacked up in the aftermath of pregnancy, and you're adjusting to some serious physical changes. You're probably taking time off from work, possibly extended time, making you financially dependent upon him. Small wonder that you really, really, really do not want to confront the possibility that, oops, it turns out your partner is a dickbag and you're stuck with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 03:48 PM
29

If I knew that I would virtually never have to change a diaper, I would be 20x more likely to want a baby. (But 20 times 0 is still 0.) Really that's what our discussions came down to: He knew he wanted children, while I wasn't at all convinced. If he wanted to have children with me then he had to address my reservations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 02:29 PM
39

I completely agree that, while biology dictates that men cannot be equal partners in pregnancy or birthing, there's no reason men can't step up in other ways to restore balance. My spouse validated my choice to have children with him through his actions, like it sounds like yours has done. In fact, per the original thread topic, he's the one who handles all the kids' medical insurance and doctor appointments. I am not as detached and clueless as a typical dad, but their father takes primary resp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 02:26 PM
128

Unpopular opinion maybe, but here you go: You still did the pregnancy and all of the childbirth alone, with all possible health- risks. He should be doing more than the 50% caring if you really want to make things "fair" and "equal". (At least males should give their partners the opportunity to care for themselves and rest and heal from childbirth the weeks after birth if they want to be "partners"). Long before we ever tried to get pregnant, I told my spouse that part of the deal with having ki…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 01:34 PM
8

Also, I very much appreciate this is a safe space for women. A big thanks to the mods who make that happen. A hearty second to that. If I wanted to hear what men think I'd go to TwoX. Or, ya know, literally any other sub on Reddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 10:55 AM
3

Like: Posts by, for, and about women. Dislike: Posts about men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 11:41 AM
14

And people will try to claim that the problem is men "not being allowed to show emotion." No, the problem is that men feel entirely too entitled to express their emotions all over everyone. See, for instance, their behavior over their sportsball teams, or their inability to refrain from hooting at women who exist in public, or their needy demands that women smile and speak sweetly at all times, or their insistence that they will commit suicide en mass if not provided with sufficient blowjobs, et…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 11:39 AM
25

No, see, of course there will be plenty of women eagerly offering themselves up as masturbatory aids, for the good of society. From each according to her pussy to each according to his peen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 03:25 PM
31

One of the main reasons not to use the "sex worker" language is that it intentionally obscures the reality of pimping and trafficking. It's supposed to make everyone envision an empowered woman running her own business that just happens to involve sex, when the reality is women and girls being sold by men to other men. It's also used to obscure the fact that the demand for women's bodies always outstrips the willing supply. Which is why place that legalize prostitution (like Germany and Amsterda…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 12:42 PM
53

Move to sticky this. The self-stated goal of pick-up artists is seduction, i.e. enticing or persuading women to engage in sexual behavior. Pick-up artists openly use terms like "game" to emphasize the use of tricks and manipulation to extract sex and/or services from women. The self-stated goal of female dating strategy is to help women set and maintain standards in dating, and to avoid becoming entangled with men who do not meet those standards. The entire "pickme" refrain emphasizes that women…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 02:11 PM
119

True story: My then-boyfriend tried the helpless "I don't know how to do laundry" riff with me when we started living together. I replied, "Okay, don't worry then, I'll do all my own laundry and you can do yours, so you don't have to worry about mucking up my clothing while you learn." We've now been together almost 19 years and I can count on one hand the number of times I've done his laundry for him. No regrets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 05:13 PM
13

You can see this writ large on a cultural level when it comes to the portrayal of women being desperate to marry and men having to be dragged into it. When, in reality, men are the ones who benefit massively from marriage, women initiate the majority of divorces, and women are less likely to seek remarriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 10:12 AM
45

Spot on. I get why stay-at-home moms feel attacked, but I'm not against the work they do. I'm against the vulnerable position that a woman is in when she agrees to that role.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 11:29 AM
100

It's so fucked up because full-time caregiver to three children is a real job, and where I live it's one that pays very goddamn well...as long as they aren't your own children. In my area one could expect to pay $35/hr minimum for a nanny to three kids, and that's with no housekeeping or extended hours required. But if they're your own kids then it will be framed as your husband working while you "stay home" (not working?). He will be the one "supporting the family" while your contributions are …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 10:25 AM
66

It's rape. Some jurisdictions refuse to legally recognize it as rape, of course, just like how most states in the US didn't recognize marital rape until disturbingly recently, but of course men have a vested interest in not prosecuting rape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 10:14 AM
25

Even the best guys grow up seeing their dad NOT do most of the work. They see their male friends NOT doing most of the work. They see literally every single man in pop culture NOT doing most of the work. Even the best guys, who may genuinely think they intend to do their fair share, typically have no concept of how much work their actual fair share would be. Because that work has always been done, invisibly, by women. They feel blindsided when they are confronted with how much actual work consti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 11:06 AM
20

And one need look no farther than the Reddit comments on her post to know why these abuse tactics so often succeed. Look how many people are telling her that it's "shaming" the poor guy if she doesn't fall for his manipulation. Our whole society is built around grooming women to submit to this kind of treatment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 09:11 PM
91

What they hate though, is us congregating to share them and warn others. Because women taking advice from men is fine, that's the status quo and allows men to keep control over Their Womentm . Women taking advice from other women, on the other hand, is unacceptable. Soon they will start getting ideas, and thinking...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 04:18 PM
31

You're not alone. The difference in reactions I've seen to the ending pretty much split along gender lines; women tend to be much more pleased with it while men see it as either stupid or horrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 02:36 PM
9

Am I the only one who finds it slightly hilarious? Copying me like this is what my little brother used to do to annoy me when we were kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 11:24 AM
31

So glad to see this point being made. There's no shortcut. There's no infallible litmus test that you can use to know for sure about a guy on the first date or the second or the third. All you can do is continue to hold your standards and boundaries, and make sure you are never trapped. Maintain your career and income and your interests and your social network so that if he falls short you will be able to walk away. If he turns out to be a great guy after all then it's not like you've lost somet…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 04:58 PM
1

I hear you, and again I am not talking about innate capacities (I agree that we all innately have that), but rather about what socialization does to us. There may be individual women who have great facility for abuse and hatred, but as a class we simply are not on the level that men are, and that's down to generations of socialization and culture and the context of the world we live in. Boys/men receive training in hatred and objectification of women unlike anything that has ever existed in the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 10:33 AM
32

Hopefully women will treat men JUST like men have treated women. We won't. We aren't capable of dehumanizing men the way they dehumanize us, because they have a lifetime of conditioning to view us as objects rather than full human persons. Boys are taught entitlement from birth. They've got too much of a head start. Hell, look at this sub and try to find the absolute worst things that women say they want to do to men, and then compare them to what men say on mainstream subs every day. Can you fi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 07:19 PM
220

"Look, if posing naked were empowering, then the rich men who run the world would be lining up for it. We would be awash in naked dick shots of Warren Buffet and Bill Gates and Barack Obama; magazines would be filled with male politicians and financiers and moguls with their bits hanging out. Softly lit, perhaps; head coyly tilted, bunny tail on the ass. Power.” -Reclusive Leftist
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 12:45 PM
39

I think the difference is that men's subs talk about how they hate women, and are determined to have sex with them or otherwise hurt them. I have yet to see a single woman on this sub talk about hating men, and then follow it up with fantasies about having sex with the men she hates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 10:24 AM
36

Regardless of their other political leanings, almost all men are communist when it comes to sex. From each according to her pussy to each according to his peen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 04:30 PM
15

I see your point and I definitely agree that this ideology gets used in pretty fucked up ways. With that said, however, my parents have what I consider a phenomenal marriage, and I think they would both say that it took work to establish the relationship that they have. There is a lot of boundary-setting that has to happen in a relationship. There is a lot of discovery, since both of you had a lifetime before you met. There is a lot of talking about values, goals, and possibilities for the futur…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 02:49 PM
11

In honor of this milestone, and instead of giving Reddit money by buying awards, I am going to celebrate my 10 favorite "FDS Birthday posts" by making donations to CAMFED in the name of each women who wrote the post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 12:18 PM
12

Gonna repost this reply again because it needs to be repeated until you get it: You’re putting the onus on women on how to guide you to change. When you have not changed, do not blame women for it. You need to discuss this with a trained professional.
/r/askFDS23/09/20 10:48 AM
7

Seconding this. It's okay to tread water right now. Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself.
/r/askFDS22/09/20 12:22 PM
18

No matter how awesome my man has been in the past, there was still enough emontional labour required that it was a drain on my life and energy. This right here. I'm married, I love my spouse, and I do not plan to leave him. This is definitely my last long-term relationship with a man. If it lasts the rest of my life that'd be great, but if it doesn't then I will not be seeking another male partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 12:19 PM
63

It's my entire reason for being here. It's wonderful to be able to have actual conversations with other women, without men talking over them and having testerical meltdowns because someone didn't add a "NOT ALL MEN" disclaimer and writing 10-page essays about themselves and making every goddamn thing about their penises.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 06:26 PM
111

I mean as long as FDS remains exclusively for women, it will automatically be more radical than any other dating/relationships sub on Reddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 06:11 PM
71

I honestly don't believe most of them hate us at all. They're in shitty situations and being ground down every day, and obviously have a lot of regrets. Pointing those negative feelings at the actual source--the men who are hurting them and the culture that groomed them into such situations--is really fucking hard. That means being angry at their spouse, their parents, their families, and potentially their entire faith or community. It's less scary to be mad at other women who have made differen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 10:31 AM
16

It's the same as street harassment. They don't think shouting vile things is going to make a woman want to fuck them, they think she will be scared and humiliated and that's exactly what they want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 11:56 PM
37

They are our worst enemies. Because no matter how violent a man is, they will always entertain him. Disagree. The violent man is a worse enemy by far. I don't hold my keys between my knuckles as I walk to the train because I'm worried about liberal feminist women. I am not literally unable to travel through many countries in the world because of what liberal feminist women will do to an unaccompanied female. Liberal feminist women don't grope me on the bus. Liberal feminist women aren't yelling …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 06:59 PM
1

If my contributions would be useful I'd be happy to participate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 05:08 PM
47

Doubly infuriating because liberal feminists are always what-about-the-men-ing and talking about how patriarchy hurts men to...but whenever you try to talk about how it's not great for men to get off on beating women they immediately change the subject to talk about the woman's consent. Libfems: Feminist discussions need to be inclusive of men! Feminists: Okay, let's talk about how men are strangling their partners in record numbers. Or how men specifically seek out sex with women who they know,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 01:24 PM
135

You know that game where you open your fortune cookies and add "...in bed" to whatever you read? Liberal feminism is like that game. Tack "in bed" onto whatever statement and then laugh about it. "My boyfriend hits me all the time but it's okay because I am asking for it." Sounds bad, right? But add "...in bed" and now it's empowerful! "My industry exploits laborers in order to enrich the owners and requires us to work in inherently unsafe conditions." Wow, that must be a fucked up sweat shop or…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 12:34 PM
110

Woman: My boyfriend hits me all the time, but it's okay because I was asking for it. Liberal feminism: Sis, that's abuse, you deserve better! Woman: My boyfriend hits me all the time, but it's okay because I was asking for it...in bed. Liberal feminism: Oh, never mind, that's EMPOWERFUL!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 12:19 PM
71

These days that actually qualifies as standards, because usually they say "he's not abusive, he hits me all the time but it's during sex and therefore it's okay!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 01:39 PM
23

Holy shit, brilliantly spotted. I cackled.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 10:07 AM
34

Yeah but that's what their wife is for. They take it for granted that their wife will stick by them in sickness and in health, because statistically speaking women DO stay while men are the ones who abandon their bangmaid if she's too sick to serve them. Their kids are for Carrying On The Line, and everyone knows that The Line only traces through the males.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 10:28 AM
35

Said it before and I'll say it again: People who say girls are harder to parents are usually not parenting their sons at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 10:26 AM
14

Golly I wonder if it's a coincidence that elder females are either invisible or reviled in mainstream culture. Or that so many fairy tales and Disney movies and so on portray elder women as enemies to young women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 10:55 AM
120

All the remaining major "feminist" and "women's" subs on Reddit are run either partially or totally by male moderators. Even women's health subs like PCOS now have male moderators installed to keep the womenfolks in line.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 05:44 PM
140

Warning: Once you start to notice how often objectively-correct feminist statements are put into the mouths of "evil" characters in media, it becomes impossible to un-see. Women's liberation is painted as the villain far more often than most people consciously realize.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 02:00 PM
28

What always drives me over the fucking falls is the people saying "But there's no MOTIVE, what was the MOTIVE, it's such a MYSTERY" when a guy murders his girlfriend or wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 12:21 PM
10

Even when men take on the submissive role they wind up "topping from the bottom" because the gender dynamic is so entrenched.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 10:33 AM
17

Men are very good at seeing themselves as one of the good guys, even if they’re objectively terrible. That's what a lifetime of low standards does to them. I don't know a single woman who hasn't had to stand up to harassment from men who are bigger and physically stronger than herself at least a dozen times just to go about her daily life, and I don't know a single man who HAS had to do so. And yet men are supposedly the brave ones? Lolz.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 08:30 PM
193

Also gotta wonder how many men he personally confronts in person about this behavior. Cause like, yay, you said some words about it on the internet and got patted on the back for your wokeness. But when your boss makes creepy-ass comments, do you speak up or do you play along? When your client wolf-whistles at a woman passing by, do you tell him he's a fucking creep? When a man who is bigger and stronger than you does something shitty, do you risk an ass-whupping to tell him off? Do you speak up…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 02:03 PM
413

Men dominating women is quite literally the most run-of-the-mill, commonplace, conventional sexual dynamic in the world, and they're out here trying to sell it as deviant and kinky.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 01:58 PM
106

Dollars to donuts the kid's father speaks to her like that all the time. So it's normal to her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 02:44 PM
25

I mean sure, women are as well, but I don't think it is a comparatively significant danger. Women are far more likely to pick up on it if a man flat out hates them. In contrast, we're trained from birth to view it as "loving" for a man to desire us for a bangmaid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 12:27 PM
63

Unfortunately, the odds for a woman are actually even worse in Texas.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 11:55 AM
78

Why would anybody assume that everyone is looking for a partner to love? Our entire culture pushes the idea that boys and men deserve a woman who will serve him, who will do his chores and bear his children and be beautiful for him and provide sexual satisfaction for him. Even historically there was no requirement that he actually love her as a human individual, only that he financially provide for her and possibly fight off other males who would try to attack her, and these days women are expec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 11:52 AM
27

Imagine if men performed courtship like some of the other animals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 10:55 PM
13

This is known as catharsis theory, or what Lundy Bancroft termed "the boiler theory of men." The idea is that people--mainly men--need to let off steam or else pressure will build until they burst in a harmful manner. You will see this idea applied mainly to men's rage and sexual impulses; men must have an outlet, goes the argument, lest they be overtaken and helpless to control their violence and lust. Only problem is that this idea has been largely disproven, both clinically and pragmatically.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 07:59 PM
47

I am a strong believer in forwarding these pictures to their fathers. "Hi, your son likes to flash his dick at women, thought you might want to take a second crack at parenting because obviously the first attempt didn't take."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 01:46 PM
7

No wonder they had to shut that shit down. Womenfolks were starting to get ideas.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 05:40 PM
112

I chose to mentally alter the ending such that Mulan allows Li Shang to stay for dinner because she's planning to hook up her grandmother with a nice boytoy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:12 PM
40

Well, except it is a gender role, because that's the entire point of gender: it's a hierarchy that subjugates women for the benefit of men. There's a reason why all the unpaid drudgery of life is gender-coded feminine. It's not a coincidence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 09:30 AM
25

Same applies to negotiating for raises/promotions. Everyone says "Oh men are just more assertive so they are more likely to ask!" But if a woman asks exactly the same way, it gets a very different response. She's aggressive, a ladder-climber, cutthroat, etc. It's great to have discussions about differences in how men and women express ourselves. It's naive to think these systemic issues can be solved by individual women adopting the patterns used by men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 04:52 PM
43

Especially c*nt, I am sick to fucking death about hearing how "it's not a misogynist slur in the UK/Australia, we use it in a positive way!" No, you use it the same way guys in the USA say "get in the car, bitch" to their fellow dudes. And you're just as capable of putting venom in that word when you spit it at a woman instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 09:21 AM
13

I stopped by RPW for a minute (I’m new to all of this and HOO BOY) To be fair, RPW is mostly dudes LARPing as women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:40 AM
21

Agreed, especially since a lot of FDS is actually about not dating and only seeking relationships when they will improve your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:39 AM
65

Maybe this is why so many people are prepared to believe that FDS is an evil hive of hatred. For years men have been setting up subs like MGTOW and TRP and claiming they are all about "self improvement" and "going their own way", while they're really just about hating and resenting women. So when women set up a sub that is about self improvement and not needing men, people assume it must be a bullshit cover the way that male versions of this sub are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 09:25 AM
21

You might be surprised how graduate school can fuck with a person's self esteem. Especially women, and especially in male-dominated fields. Impostor Syndrome dialed to 11, with shit pay, high stress, and "mentoring" that often borders on hazing. For women you can add systemic sexism and harassment. It can seriously mess you up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 11:27 PM
107

"People." Men. Men use it as blackmail, because men denigrate and shame the women who satisfy men's desire for pornography.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 01:11 PM
11

Huge thank you to the moderation team for maintaining this, the only woman-centered sub on Reddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 11:55 AM
57

It's venting. I understand that. It "looks" bad if taken out of context, It only looks bad when viewed using the double standard. Women on this sub are not happily discussing how they masturbate to the sight of men in pain. Women on this sub are not trading tips for how to coerce men into unsafe sex. Women on this sub are not trading naked pictures they have taken from non-consenting men and discussing the various harms they imagine inflicting upon those men for sexual gratification. Women on th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 10:39 AM
83

A friend of mine refers to having men pay for dates as "hazard pay." Her argument is, the man isn't leaving detailed information with his roommates in case his date tries to kidnap and murder him. The man isn't carefully watching his drink, or even declining drinks altogether, to avoid being drugged. The man isn't worried about going somewhere too private because his date might rape or assault him. The man isn't having to watch what he says and how he says it out of fear that she might become ph…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 01:14 PM
9

Serious question, is there any other explicitly female-only sub left on Reddit? I know they banned all the feminist subs that weren't run by men, and all the lesbian subs that excluded penises, and made sure that major women's health subs are overseen by male mods, but maybe there are a few others left after the purge? Feel free to PM me if you don't want to call public attention to any smaller subs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 10:38 AM
325

It has been my experience that any person who says boys are easier to parent than girls is a person who isn't actually parenting their boys. Even at preschool ages their boys are the ones that push other kids, steal toys, and otherwise show lack of regard for the boundaries and feelings of others. And their parents usually look on this permissively, if not down right fondly, because a boy who is sweet and kind and thoughtful might be a fag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 12:47 PM
10

How often do US presidents sit at tables filled with smart, powerful women in the first place? Women have been so effectively shut out of power that a man can go his entire political career without ever encountering this situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 10:13 AM
8

Seriously, it's a little disturbing how angry men get if you simply center women in your life. Not talking about excluding men or discriminating against men or harming men in any way. I mean low-key shit like making your female relationships a priority, seeking out female-run businesses to support, consuming media made by women, etc. Men are so used to being over-represented in our lives that they take it as a personal attack if you don't accept the status quo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 10:46 AM
29

Can confirm, my spouse does his full 50% of the parenting (note: not a majority, just an equal share) and is praised to the moon for it. Don't even get me started on when people learn that the kids got my surname and not his.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 10:28 AM
11

Lolita and Fight Club are the absolute best books for getting asshole dudes to out themselves, because asshole dudes invariably miss the entire goddamn point of the books.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 10:23 AM
123

If men could get pregnant abortion would be a sacrament.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 10:28 AM
93

Not all men rape, but all men benefit from how the threat of rape keeps women quiet and compliant. Not all men rape, but all men enjoy the privilege of living in a world where women are less free to travel, to explore, and to compete, because of the threat of rape. Not all men rape, but all men benefit from how the bar is set so goddamn low for men that not raping women somehow is brag-worthy. Not all men rape, but all men benefit from the actions of those who do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 01:34 PM
1

Once you see it, it's hard to unsee: Beauty culture is about taking women's time, effort, and money, and funneling them to men. Sure, women who comply with beauty culture get some rewards in the form of better treatment, but those rewards never come close to what women must spend to receive them. It's always a net loss for women and a net gain for men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 10:25 AM
2

Years ago I commented to a male friend that I never experienced the kind of cold-approaches other women describe receiving from men. He said, "Of course not, you're scary." He didn't mean physically (I'm dinky and average-looking). Apparently I give off whatever the opposite of a flirty vibe is. I tend to look at men directly and speak bluntly rather than giving them soft eyes and words, and I dress for comfort rather than sex appeal. I don't wear make-up or style my hair. My dad says I come acr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 10:06 AM
3

"Hey, this behavior of yours is crummy. I am talking to you about it because I assume you both care about not being crummy and also are quite capable of not being crummy." "Oh my god I can't believe you think I'm a crummy person! I care about you so much but you just think I'm a monster! I'll never be good enough for you, nothing is ever good enough for you!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 10:13 AM
2

"My boyfriend said that I'm not allowed to..." is enough to know she should dump him. It is theoretically possible for that phrase to be ended with something like "...intentionally piss on his bed" or "...openly cheat on him while other people watch" and therefore be a reasonable demand, but let's be real: we all know how likely it is that a woman will have to be told that shit in the first place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 01:33 PM
5

Anecdotally, this is becoming a massive problem since the pandemic, because a lot of women I know are just now finding out how little their partners are prepared to do. I live in an area with lots of dual-career families where the kids have been in daycare since they were small. The women kept their careers after having babies and thought their husbands were 100% on board with that. But now daycare and school are closed. And those husbands burned out on the 24/7 childcare after a week, and aren'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 09:36 AM
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