~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | What I'm building based on my divorce experienceu/NohoTwoPointOh thanks for your adds. Would you mind elaborating a bit more on this. What would you like to see? | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/12/21 06:35 PM |
| 1 | What I'm building based on my divorce experienceThanks for the questions u/derelictherds. The data is stored (and encrypted) in a secure server (working through this with my engineer). I'll share more specifics around the security approach soon! This is an essential piece of the build. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/12/21 06:34 PM |
| 1 | What I'm building based on my divorce experienceThe plan is that the platform is authenticated by you (the user) and can only be accessible by those who have permissions to that file/folder/tags (not accessible via a direct link). Meaning, even your legal counsel would have to log into their account to view the files you share with them. Let me know if that helps clarify. Thanks for sharing this u/25_years. I'll make sure this gets included in the scope. 🙏 | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/12/21 06:31 PM |
| 5 | What I'm building based on my divorce experienceThank you for the kind words u/monomeans1 🙏 | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/12/21 01:41 AM |
| 2 | I want to build something...That's possible. But I don't know how many times I had to talk to a law clerk to tell them that they were doing math wrong... | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/21 12:28 AM |
| 3 | Single and ready to Kringle!!!Lots of love to you and your loved ones! ♥ 💪 | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/21 12:20 AM |
| 6 | I want to build something...It shouldn't be expensive though. That's part of the problem. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/21 12:17 AM |
| 1 | I want to build something...Somewhat. Imagine a tool you can answer a bunch of questions in and it will spit out all of your financial statements in the appropriate legal doc for your respective region. Evolution would have integration into your bank. Think Turbotax for divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/11/21 07:52 PM |
| 1 | I want to build something...Those are great points that I agree with. But, isn't that the case for everything in life? 🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/11/21 07:50 PM |
| 1 | What was your representation like during your divorce?That's a really good deal. Was it a high conflict divorce or were you able to communicate? | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/11/21 02:10 PM |
| 7 | What was your representation like during your divorce?Wow, that sounds very complex. Glad to hear that you were able to figure it out and not get fleeced for all that money. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/11/21 01:27 AM |
| 4 | What was your representation like during your divorce?As long as they're a good one...which are very hard to come by. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/11/21 12:10 AM |
| 3 | What was your representation like during your divorce?I feel you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/11/21 12:10 AM |
| 3 | What was your representation like during your divorce?I can relate here too. I'm not sure if everyone experiences this...but I've noticed several men get weak attorneys... | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/11/21 12:10 AM |
| 2 | What was your representation like during your divorce?LOL! I can relate. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/11/21 12:06 AM |
| 2 | How do you manage your parenting schedule?Did you have a high conflict divorce? Is your parenting plan complicated? (i.e. odd/even holidays that might impact the regular schedule)? Curious how people handle the nuances of these. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/11/21 05:38 PM |
| 1 | Parental Alienation in CanadaThanks for your reply and that sounds stressful. Mental health is an unfortunate challenge but it seems as though her manipulation is what's causing you the hardship you're experiencing. Look up Dr. Craig Childress for more help. His work helped me a lot. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/21 10:27 PM |
| 1 | [NJ] What does Custody expert do?Kind of crazy to think that this is still acceptable so long as the child isn't in danger. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/10/21 01:26 AM |
| 2 | Divorce or No?It's unfortunate that you can't get back together. Have you looked at couples therapy? Would she be open to it. If you haven't explored it I would suggest that you proactively make some recommendations to good counsellors. Give that a week. If she still hasn't budged you should really get a lawyer. Only they can help advise you on what to do next based on your unique circumstances. The only caution I'd leave is that you don't want to be surprised by not having access to your kids one day. Not sa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/10/21 01:20 AM |
| 1 | Not sure what to do. She has threatened suicide and to make fabricated stories.This is some complicated stuff. Sorry to hear that you have to go through this. The first question that you need to ask yourself is what you really want to do next. You weren't very clear on whether you actually wanted to move on from her. If you know that, with all certainty, then you should go out and get a lawyer. Make sure that she doesn't find out that you did it. Otherwise, this could risk your and/or her own safety (based on what you described above). Ask your lawyer, but it might be a go… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/10/21 12:52 AM |
| 1 | Not sure what to do here. Need advice.Yeah, the talking point is challenging and required especially when you're trying to tie up those loose ends. My suggestion though is to really do your best not to make decisions on how to deal with finances, accounts, and others until you talk to a lawyer. As long as you're both able to pay for your basic needs there shouldn't be an immediate need to resolve all other issues without legal counsel. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/21 03:11 PM |
| 2 | My new lowest lowYou're experiencing grief and what you're going through is completely normal. Grief isn't just experienced when someone dies, but also when a relationship dies. Familiarize yourself with the stages: https://www.healthline.com/health/stages-of-grief#order You'll realize that you've probably gone through a few of them (I noticed at least 3 in your post). Your priority right now is to get yourself a therapist. Someone that is qualified to help you make sense of what you're going through. Take a day… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/21 03:07 PM |
| 24 | Not sure what to do here. Need advice.Get a lawyer Get a therapist Don't talk to your ex unless it's transactional and about your kids | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/21 02:57 PM |
| 2 | How tf do I explain this to my 3 year old???This is great advice +++ One thing that my therapist told me is to tell them that "it's a grown-up conversation between mom and dad." | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/06/21 07:57 PM |
| 8 | My son just never wants to be with meI went through this for over a year. I found these to be very cyclical. I found that I just try and get myself into HIS world (per my therapist). This worked wonders and now he gets super excited to see me. (sometimes he still makes comments like "I love mommy", "I want to be with mommy" but those are infrequent now). Right now we're playing a dragon game on the phone together. We also spend time playing games in the house that he initiates. Keep in mind that your kiddo is likely going through a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/21 01:42 PM |
| 1 | Change how you look at your narcissistic exThanks for sharing! How one uses the information I provided above is completely up to them. If you're going around taking this info and pointing fingers and yelling "NARCISSIST!", then that's unfortunate. Rather, there's enough literature out there that helps you identify if someone is in fact a narcissist, or just has narcissistic tendencies. There's also plenty of evidence to suggest that in a high-conflict divorce, at least one of the two people is a narcissist. I was being manipulated (didn'… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/21 04:36 PM |
| 2 | $10k unaccounted forIn Canada, we have something called Net Family Property. It's when we look at all the $$$ and figure out where the money is and where it goes (more complicated than that obviously). I'm not sure which region you're in, but did you do something like that? Did you hire a lawyer to help you with this? | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/21 03:43 AM |
| 1 | Change how you look at your narcissistic exI clearly don't know enough about your situation to be able to comment on its nuances. Nor should I be allowed to. However, to dismiss the fact that someone's mental illness is not a result of their childhood experience is very shortsighted. Also, mental illness doesn't always surface at a young age. Meaning, even though your children might demonstrate positive traits and characteristics today, doesn't mean that will always be the case. Roughly half of all lifetime mental disorders in most studi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/21 03:22 AM |
| 2 | Thinking about itWe clearly don't understand the nuances of your relationship. BUT! Just get someone that's experienced (and objective) in these matters that can see beyond what your biases see. Spend a little to save a lot. Just in case. If she doesn't understand why you got a lawyer, then that in and of itself should raise some red flags. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/21 12:50 AM |
| 3 | Thinking about itWell done here. Considering how expensive divorce can be, this is well worth the price of admission. Speaking from experience; I've spent significantly more than that and I'm nowhere near finished. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/21 12:47 AM |
| 0 | Sometimes it seems like the most we can hope for is 50/50 custody. Has anyone been able to get primary? If so, what were the circumstances?Have you tried getting her help? Even though she's your stbx? | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/21 12:41 AM |
| -1 | Sometimes it seems like the most we can hope for is 50/50 custody. Has anyone been able to get primary? If so, what were the circumstances?Keeping your kids safe is of the utmost importance. Bar none. This comment though is very disturbing: ...if she has mental health issues she will screw up eventually... If she does, then that's clearly a problem that needs to be addressed. I can't imagine what your experience must have been like. However, "mental health issues" are of varying degrees and manifest very differently. Blanket statements like these don't help anyone. For example, narcissists aren't seen (in the public eye) as people … | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/21 12:40 AM |
| 2 | Another one ...does your wife pour all her energy into carefully curating a reputation as a kind, giving, generous person whose dark side is reserved for you only? Yes to all of the above (inclusive of this was a campaign to diminish my ability to parent)! However, I ended our marriage. Regardless of the circumstances, if you're a parent, your(our) focus moving forward should be well defined. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/21 12:25 AM |
| 1 | HELP - Important life decision- Child custodyThere's one thing in life that we should never give up on...our kids. It might be stressful and seem overwhelming. But think about how that child will grow up if they don't get your perspective amidst a narcissist? Sometimes we just need to make sacrifices for those we love. I had an option to be the weekend dad...narcissistic ex tried to convince me that this is normal. I temporarily accepted that. Then, after a lot of work with my therapist, I realized that I have a responsibility far greater … | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/21 08:54 PM |
| 1 | Another one ...This advice is money in the bank! Get as much in writing as you possibly can. Filing a court application (for divorce, shared parenting, and financials) should be your next priority. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/21 08:31 PM |
| 5 | Another one ...Yes, I became a lot more aware of their tactics and how to deal with them after reading and watching work by Dr Craig Childress. Man is a lifesaver and has helped me big time! | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/21 08:28 PM |
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