| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 6 | The Road Ahead | Mountain_Switch_6759 | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/21 06:00 AM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | UltimatumEnd the relationship. You think you can’t do better? Is she an heiress? Please, every man can do better as long as you are not a loser, a narcissist, or deeply disturbed. There’s always an equivalent or someone comparable in terms of looks. Intelligence, Morality, Education, spirituality may vary and is subject to your own internal trade off measurements. So go forth knowing you can do just as good, and don’t begin a relationship in an ultimatum. It’s either equal and balanced or it’s not going … | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/09/22 11:11 PM |
| 2 | Separated and in need of advice.Your instincts are right…Pack up, get out, and move on. It will not get better. If you take her back after this, she will know deep down that you will keep taking her abuse, and it is just a matter of time before she will do this again. Only it will be much much worse the next time. GTFO. One therapy session does not make a mentally healthy person. Real maturity, change will take years to achieve for her, so don’t fool yourself into “She’s changed”…no she is just suppressing it for now. GTFO. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/21 10:18 PM |
| 1 | Afraid of the moneyLmao…Well no not really. The father in law should have told me how bat shit crazy she could be..lol I think he was trying to keep her offloaded on me for as long as possible. “She’s your problem now, bye.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/08/21 01:13 AM |
| 2 | Afraid of the moneyMan, 25 years. That had to be tough, I was with mine for 5. I remember telling her father about her using the A-word, and he said, “Oh well, I’ll bail you out if that happens”…so casual and nonchalant. The sad part is they all realize they can wield that power to send us to jail, and there’s rarely any repercussions for them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/08/21 05:30 PM |
| 1 | (29M, 27F) - My wife has moved in with her family, and demanded I make changes in order to get her back home. Married 4 years. We have no kids, no assets.. she works part time, and I’m full time, making 100k. I feel so lonely, but i’m tired of trying to fight to bring her home. I need guidance..File for divorce now while you can get out free and clear. It doesn’t get better from here on out. If you cave in to her ultimatum, she will be emboldened to really manipulate you…Very shortly after you give in, she will need a car, a house, to go back to school, and eventually an affair partner. All justified by blaming you for your insecurities and shortcomings…otherwise known as gaslighting. Get out ASAP, it takes 2 to be in a marriage, not 1 demanding and bossing the other. You are only 29, … | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/08/21 03:04 AM |
| 7 | Afraid of the moneyTough situation to be in. Neither situation looks positive. If you are sure there’s nothing left for you in the marriage, cut your loses and go for the divorce. If it’s toxic, get out. Mine was beginning to use the A-word, and I felt if I stayed any longer, I would wind up in jail on false charges. Telling her “No” was abusive behavior. At 40, you are about to enter the prime of your life man. Believe it or not, if you make descent money, and took descent care of your body and health, you can ha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/21 10:22 PM |
| 1 | InfidelityAlpha Male: Get that paternity test, and take her ass to court for child support | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/21 08:36 AM |
| 1 | I want my ex to be happy and do wellMine is broke, and it’s making me nervous. She might try to come back, This is the last thing I want. All her credit cards are maxed out, she is making high interest payments each month. She had to sell one of her cars. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/21 08:32 AM |
| 2 | I want my ex to be happy and do wellDon’t fret brother, people like her don’t change. It is either temporary or just a false show. Just stay your course and keep working on loving yourself. Don’t worry about her anymore, love yourself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/21 08:28 AM |
| 1 | I want my ex to be happy and do wellLmao! My ex has a slipped disc, pinched nerve, teeth problems, anxiety, depression, and is careless with money. She doesn’t know how to make money. She does not believe in vaccinations of any kind….so yeah, I’m pretty sure nature will give me the shit eating grin I hope for. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/21 08:23 AM |
| 1 | Recently DivorcedBrother, it really does get better. The first 2 months, I would have given anything to get her back. But something changed. I kept working on myself, and did all the things mentioned…and I don’t want anything to do with her. Holly fuck I was blind. You will go through some stages ok. You miss her, blame yourself, and regret the breakup. Then you will get angry about your situation and her. Then you finally get up and go do something about it. Then life gets better one day at a time. You gain con… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/21 08:17 AM |
| 1 | 1 year post divorce ventDude it’s great you are getting women in their 20’s. They are still optimistic about life, a little clueless about life, but it beats the other option…a 40 year old that’s always right, stuck in her ways and expects you to cater to her every emotional whim, while hitting the Wall. As Coach Greg Adams said, “Don’t go back to the plantation” | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/21 08:05 AM |
| 3 | How to not lose all to a gold diggerWhy would you want to get married again? Did you not learn the first time? At best, you can only expect a short term relationship with western women. You will have to rebuild all over again when she leaves with half your stuff. Keep your money in a trust, don’t marry, keep working on you and your business. I love women, but I love my money more. And no woman is worth being homeless, alimony or a trip to jail. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/21 07:05 AM |
| 1 | Has anyone had to deal with a covert NPD?It’s a process we all go through man. By saying it’s NPD, we can take the weight of blame off of our shoulders. This is a major relief in the first few months of the process, as we beat the crap out of ourselves over the gaslighting, loss and failure. So yeah is it very common to say it, Yes. Eventually we all stop reading about NPD, BPD, blaming ourselves, being angry at her, and we finally move on. We realize the failure more rationally and not emotionally any more. We build muscle, rebuild ou… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/21 04:21 AM |
| 3 | My ex has two different kids from two different men and both kids have issues with their Dad.Yeah, That is the truth Brotha. I completely ignored the red flags, until I couldn’t anymore. Mine had 3 kids from 2 different Daddy’s. As soon as mine started fasely claiming I was abusive (just like all her exes). I packed my shit and got out…Abuse to her was saying No. The writing was on the walls, and I knew she was going to try to put me in jail with a false allegation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/07/21 02:14 AM |
| 2 | Divorce I dont wantHey Buddy, welcome to the club. You are not alone my friend. We’ve all come through the storm, and I promise you, it gets much better…but you got to put in the work. First, Accept that it’s over. No more begging, negotiating, pleading. It’s over. Even if she says maybe, you will soon see how frustrating it is when you are the only one trying. Let her and the marriage go. Next, Go no contact. It’s so dam hard, because you feel so safe in your routine. But the less you contact the better it is for… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/07/21 01:59 AM |
| 1 | Divorce I dont wantHey Buddy, welcome to the club. You are not alone my friend. We’ve all come through the storm, and I promise you, it gets much better…but you got to put in the work. First, Accept that it’s over. No more begging, negotiating, pleading. It’s over. Even if she says maybe, you will soon see how frustrating it is when you are the only one trying. Let her and the marriage go. Next, Go no contact. It’s so dam hard, because you feel so safe in your routine. But the less you contact the better it is for… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/07/21 01:59 AM |
| 1 | Hopefully will be finalized in a few monthsMost DMV websites have a release of title service. It is suppose to expedite a vehicle sale and it’s subsequent liability. You enter your vehicle info, your info, and the new owners info..that’s it | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/21 07:36 AM |
| 1 | Need someone divorced and older to talk toThe outcome is bleak either scenario. It’s sucks to be cheated on, and I am not suggesting that he go and commit adultery. Somewhere along the way in a 23 year marriage, she forgot that he might have options. That he is a Man. He also probably hasn’t shown or felt that he might be appreciated by another person. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/21 01:32 AM |
| 2 | Lessons Learned?Yeah I know. I couldn’t hear shit when I was enchanted by the Harpie. Doesn’t hurt to keep saying it, maybe if that 1 in 10,000 hears the message, I will have earned my Kharma for the day. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/21 04:36 AM |
| 2 | Need someone divorced and older to talk toNo. I’m not suggesting he cheat. He describes himself as already checked out, and by the actions of his wife, she has also checked out. After 23 years, he has been loyal, dutiful, and their last child is almost an adult. I am trying to bring him to the awareness that she has had the monopoly on intimacy and is intentionally with holding it. I would hope that this sparks a conversation with her, that she has a duty to the relationship that she has been neglecting. Of course, he needs to take into… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/21 04:25 AM |
| 2 | How low can she go?You are gonna be just fine man. Be grateful it was only 2 years in. Clean break before you get too deep. You will start anew with someone better. Just make sure it’s really your kid. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/21 01:04 AM |
| 5 | Need someone divorced and older to talk toHave you simply tried going out with other women? If she knows you have another option for sexual intimacy, it might snap her back into reality, and take away the monopoly she has had for so long. I’m not suggesting you commit Infidelity, but all women know men need sex. If she is unwilling or unable to reasonably accommodate you, well, you gotta look for other sources. The specter of replace-ability might begin a meaningful change. However, it could also get you divorced, but you wouldn’t be he… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/06/21 08:00 PM |
| 2 | Common theme I have heard from women including my ex wife: I never loved him. Rant.Yeah, I’ve heard that so many times. I just noped out of there when I hear that. I dated one for a while, and before too long, I was told I was the abusive one…for not giving her money, vacations… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/06/21 02:08 AM |
| 1 | Common theme I have heard from women including my ex wife: I never loved him. Rant.Very true. As a man, I love my money more than any woman. Women are always temporary, but my businesses and asserts will last me a lifetime…also divorced with no kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/06/21 02:06 AM |
| 2 | Well , it finally happenedHoly shiiit! Wow, 30k! I’m sorry to hear that Brotha, that’s is some BS. I had one friend get falsely accused of molestation. It took over 2 years to get it cleared up, and lots of legal fees and investigations by the local PD. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/21 04:05 PM |
| 2 | I am not sure if I was cheated on or not but still feel like I was. Is it valid to feel that way?Hindsight is always 20/20 right? My ex was similar. She was 37 and hitting the proverbial “Wall”. A lifetime of dumb financial decisions, and poor judgement, for which I was expected to save her from. And I stupidly volunteered for the position..Lol She felt the need to settle down on paper, but never cared for what that commitment entails. After the storm, Life is much better without them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/21 03:36 PM |
| 3 | I am not sure if I was cheated on or not but still feel like I was. Is it valid to feel that way?Wow, I’m sorry you had to go through that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/21 04:36 AM |
| 4 | I am not sure if I was cheated on or not but still feel like I was. Is it valid to feel that way?It no longer matters, either way. She probably did cheat, but it was probably one of many issues. It is best to cut your losses and move on. You learned a lot from the relationship, and enjoyed that journey for what it was, while it lasted. Pick yourself up, work on improving yourself, and know that there are about 150 million other women in the US for you to potentially meet. She was not special, and she proved it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/21 07:39 PM |
| 1 | Lessons Learned?Tattoos on women are generally associated with impulsiveness. They are more prone to saying Yes, when the opportunity for infidelity arises. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/06/21 04:19 AM |
| 1 | Lessons Learned?Don’t forget “If she has tattoos”. Usually a sign of a inevitable infidelity. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/21 07:31 PM |
| 8 | Lessons Learned?Don’t ignore the Red Flags no matter how you feel. The signs are always there. We invariably choose to lie to ourselves about how glaringly bad they are, and believe we will be the exception. Just give yourself a good slap across the face when you reach that point. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/21 03:21 AM |
| 1 | Dating post divorce and commitment issuesIs it just the modern state of “Narcissistic Women” or have they always been this way? Hidden agendas, manipulation, short term gain. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/21 12:25 AM |
| 10 | Dating post divorce and commitment issuesThose are crocodile tears, sir. You are dealing with women that have hit the wall and have to resort to emotional manipulation to achieve their end goals. It is not them who has worked and saved for so long. Who put in the hours and energy to put themselves in a financially secure place. Test them. If they really “Love you” (sarcasm implied) then tell them you are broke and plan to leave everything to a child/nephew. And make them wait 7 years, not like either one of you is going to move away an… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/05/21 04:35 AM |
| 1 | i’m an aspiring tradwife, AMALol…what if she marries someone who can afford both? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/21 03:44 AM |
| -1 | For men who complain about AWALT, and the CC, why don’t you just date a religious girl?I disagree, it’s not the promiscuity before marriage men abhor, it’s the promiscuity After marriage that’s destructive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/21 12:31 AM |
| 2 | Post divorce relationship timingInstant Huge Red Flag! Nothing good ever comes out of an ultimatum, it’s only when she proves she can respect you, your needs and can stick it out for the long haul that you consider marriage (it’s not necessary anymore..LTR keeps you safe) She doesn’t love you, she is in love with the idea of you. Stand up, call her bluff or show her the door. You are a good man, and you will find another. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/21 06:25 PM |
| 2 | For men who complain about AWALT, and the CC, why don’t you just date a religious girl?Just say 3 Hail Marys and all your sins, incompetence, failure of moral character, weakness of the soul are forgiven and absolved. Vs acknowledging one’s short comings and working towards improving or accepting. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/05/21 04:53 PM |
| 3 | Bad nightsI’m really sorry for your losses my brother. Losing a mother, grandmother and a divorce is some heavy grieving. Just take things One day at a time. Allow yourself time and space to grieve. Forgive yourself during this time. Please don’t think that going back to her is the answer. It will only make this pain 100X worse. In time the weight will be lifted, and you will come out of this experience an amazingly strong independent self reliant man. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/21 04:39 PM |
| 2 | People actually cheat less now than they used to do back then.That’s a fare point. I just don’t agree that people cheat less | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/05/21 04:16 PM |
| 1 | People actually cheat less now than they used to do back then.I would question that the definition of Cheating has changed. I dated a girl that used Technicallities to justify her infidelities. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/05/21 04:12 PM |
| 8 | For men who complain about AWALT, and the CC, why don’t you just date a religious girl?Religious women aren’t all rainbows and sunshine my friend. Maybe it’s only my experience, but I have found that they are like all other Western women. The belief that the world is only 7,000 years old, that if you just pray that it will make things all better vs working on your goal every day..I could go on, but you get the picture of how hard it is to carry on exploratory thought exercises that delve into depth. The most messed up ones were religious. I dated one that was a drug user, another … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/05/21 04:08 PM |
| 1 | How to do this and minimize my losses?It’s complicated Brotha Child support: not going to avoid paying that House and assets: Depends if you had them prior to the marriage or not, owned by family trust or not Alimony: Get het back to work! Get her to make more money so that she reaches parity with you, and try to be the stay at home dad. Doesn’t work for every situation but if you don’t want to just cut your losses and go, you might want to consider this | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/21 02:15 PM |
| 2 | Starting the journeyYou have my empathy Brotha. No one ever talks about how bad the mental decline is when they are full blown alcoholic. They aren’t even the same person you remember any more. The paranoia, the anger, the non sense…it hurts so much to have once loved this person. If there is a way to just agree to some modest monthly payment to her instead of dissolving the assets, with Treatment. There is an amazing drug called Naltrexone that might help her detox. Lord knows she s just gonna drink it all away if… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/05/21 05:50 AM |
| 2 | I feel like a douche bagI smell some co dependence on your part. Perhaps you had a manipulative/narcissistic parent or two? Please do the hard work on discovering yourself, it isn’t easy, it will bring you to tears, and it might hurt family relationships…but you will be so liberated once you’ve made it through. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/05/21 05:40 AM |
| 3 | Trouble with relationships after divorceSo true. They never have anything to bring to the table, just a lot of debt and more bills. And the moment you stumble, off they go to the next. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/05/21 05:35 AM |
| 3 | The Road AheadThank you, this is So very true. I tear up for what could have been, or when a good memory flashes back. It’s only for a brief moment though, before I do another rep, or take a walk on the beach. It’s getting easier with time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/05/21 04:59 AM |
| 2 | Trying to deal, but I can’tJust accept that you lost, and walk away. You have no choice but to start over like the rest of us. It is pointless to keep chasing because she will up the ante to end things, only making things worse. Marriage takes 2 people, trying in order for it to be saved. It is scary, this thing called Change, but it is unavoidable. The sooner you end it, the sooner you can heal, and get on with the next phase of your life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/21 07:43 AM |
| 3 | The Road AheadThank you, I’ve gotta get back out socializing. The marriage was isolating. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/21 07:13 AM |
| 9 | Trouble with relationships after divorceYour instincts and perceptions are right. That is the nature of women now. But you are also more Woke, you are becoming Redpilled. I dated the whole spectrum after my divorce and just got sick of the whole scene…20 year olds need stuff, 30 year olds are pushing towards commitment before they hit the wall, 40 year olds are just desperate to lock onto anything, and 50 year olds are like black widows, so dam manipulative. Beware and proceed carefully. There is nothing wrong with making them wait fo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/21 07:06 AM |
| 5 | The Road AheadIt’s nice not worrying about what car to drive, so I can impress women. I can just drive my 16 year old Toyota and not give a shit | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/21 06:51 AM |
| 2 | The Road AheadThanks, I intend to | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/21 06:48 AM |
| 3 | I feel like a douche bagNah Brotha, don’t believe that. A marriage takes 2 people acting as partners. You can own your half, if she will own her half. Don’t beat yourself up. It’s a normal reaction for men of honor and responsibility. Look she was a full grown adult who can communicate, not grunt like a cave-woman. You don’t have ESP. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/21 02:27 AM |
| 1 | Regrets?No kids together. She had a kid from a previous marriage. There wasn’t any one thing that did it, it was more a cumulative effect over the years, and the realization that she was a truly cold, cruel, and sadistic person. I kept looking the other way, when the red flags were there, when she showed me who she truly was. I was never one to give up on people. And was willing to keep toughing it out. But I eventually realized it was just a black hole. If you can afford to, take a month away from her … | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/05/21 12:00 AM |
| 1 | Regrets?You know that she will only change if she wants to right? No forcing, pressuring or convincing is ever going to make lasting change. Also, her changes are only going to be slight, you have to have a reasonable expectation of failure on her part. You should think about this in your decision to stay or go. Now that I am in the other side, I have no Regrets. Her infidelity, lies, and manipulations, I just couldn’t absorb them, take the blame for them any more. But I had regrets the first 2-3 months… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/21 11:24 PM |
| 1 | Over itRun Forest Run! Just bail and leave them to wallow in their mess...give them some notice if you deem fit. It sucks to be disrespected when you are the one supporting their entitled uselessness. She isn’t even filling her obligation to provide the intangibles in a relationship. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/21 10:07 PM |
| 1 | What are my first steps?Before you get into the financial stuff...assess the battlefield. Is she willing to make this split easy? Or is this going to be knock drag out war? You can also try a divorce mediation, it’s a lot less confrontational. Do your absolute best to keep it civil, kiss her ass, charm her like you once did if you have to. It beats having to lose half your stuff. But the big picture is you will have a better life eventually. You will have so much more time and energy to devote to work, career, business… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/21 04:32 AM |
| 1 | LISTEN TO THE HEART OR THE MIND?If you can afford to, get away from her for a month. The peace will calm your mind and let you see things clearer. Meditate. Ask yourself the hard questions without her and your emotional influence. The first 60 days I would have done anything to get her back and return to the familiar comfortable life (even though it was toxic)... But after that I saw her for what she was, I worked on myself, and having her back is the LAST thing I want. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/21 02:02 AM |
| 1 | Just looking for advice or supportHave you both discussed a Legal separation? You can keep all the assets and just negotiate the financials of not living together. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/21 01:51 AM |
| 7 | Go now or wait?Depends on you Brotha. If you can go Grey rock, begin to cut off things...allowance, clothing, nails. and push her towards getting a full time job, you will ultimately keep her toxicity distracted by work. It will be better for you if she decides to fight in court. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/21 09:19 PM |
| 3 | Still feeling lost.. or maybe I dodged a bullet.Hey man, you aren’t crazy for wanting her back. It’s a knee jerk reaction all of us have, because we are afraid of the change and uncertainty. Be brave, and go through with the divorce. Work on yourself. In 3 months you will feel better and in 1 year, you will be happy you did. It’s tempting, but there is no fixing this. No amount of trying on your part is gonna fix this marriage. You will find yourself exhausted and a total Simp. Walk away. Run away! | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/04/21 08:59 PM |
| 3 | To tell or not tell: Wife with unresolved abuse issues leaving friends in dark as she chooses divorce over counselingHey, I’m sorry to hear about what you are going through. It’s a painful realization. I’ve been through your exact situation...and wasted 4 extra years and and thousands of dollars. You can’t do anything for her. She is so consumed by her self image, and the echo chamber that she chooses to remain in. Only she can change herself, and that’s only if she wants to, just like you did. If you love her, learn to love yourself. Cut her free, and hope that after you break up, or she repeats this cycle en… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/04/21 08:50 PM |
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