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MovingForwardNow123 Archive

View 3 posts and 13 comments by MovingForwardNow123 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Well done dad, sounds like you’ve built an amazing relationship with your kids. I had to switch off as well, now my daughter and I have the best time just walking around the neighborhood laughing and being silly with each other.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 04:24 PM
1

Hey Buddy - good job getting a handle on the drinking. I’m approaching two years sober and it was difficult at first, but I have felt so much better about myself, rediscovering who I am but also recognizing what I bring to the table. I had a heavy drinking problem at times that increased/decreased with the problems I was facing in my marriage. You don’t need to seek validation from other, you alone need to be able to live with your decisions. Take it one day at a time, getting sober takes time t…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 03:29 AM
3

Congrats on the 10 months of sobriety! Big accomplishment, just remember it’s one day at a time. Slow and steady. My wife was very similar, immature, very selfish, lack of agency and accountability. Once I got sober I realized how toxic and manipulative she was, always twisting and contorting reality where everything was my fault. Once you focus on self care you learn to prioritize self respect and there’s no going back. We had a major incident that led to my sobriety. Not one single drop after.…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 01:45 AM
2

Heavily dependent on the state you are in, age of you kid(s), how involved you were with the kids before separation, daycare/school, length of marriage etc. I am currently going through this now, but my wife works full-time, and we have used a nanny since my daughter was a few months old. What you need to do is document everything you do to be involved with your kid, pickups/drop-offs, doctor/dentist appointments, extra curriculars, reading, bedtime, bath time, essentially want to show you are j…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 07:36 PM
1

Thanks for this and makes a lot of sense. I caught up with my attorney and she advised the same, we start with the bare minimum, so we look reasonable and let her know we are indicated in getting a deal done and go from there. I provided the limits of what I am willing to offer, which is above and beyond what a judge would require. At this point I either pay my attorney to fight her in court and the judge awards her nothing to very little, or she gets smart and takes the money. She is not going …
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 07:18 PM
2

Thank you, this is very helpful. What I'll do is start at zero or in the middle on some of these items, and let me attorneys know what my threshold is and the upper limits of what I'm prepared to settle on to get the deal completed. If I start with highest and best offer I will end up negotiating against myself and paying up significantly more. I need to start from a place where I have room to negotiate. She has been completely unreasonable hence my concern with my offer just being rejected and …
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 12:59 PM
1

Thank you for this. When you say avoid shit talking, do you mean if the custody evaluator leads you in this direction? I assume the evaluator will ask questions regarding what you think of your ex's parenting style to judge how you will interact with each other going forward. I certainly would not volunteer anything and say she is a horrible person, but I would and do have information that shows she has not always been the most attentive mother. Best to avoid the judgement and criticism altogeth…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 11:08 AM
1

This, especially if your STBXW filed first they will be able to present their side of the story first in any proceedings. You are then prepared with your response. Keep you cards close and do not reveal anything that you plan to introduce in court.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 11:05 AM
1

Stay the course. This is a business where the attorneys all work with each other and appear before the same judges day in and day out. The judges and attorneys know who is reasonable, which attorneys will say whatever they want, which attorneys do whatever their client says and asks them to do. I think it carries a lot of weight when the judge, court, and opposing counsel know your attorney does not engage in the mud slinging and nonsense "notice letters" and motion filings. I did not understand…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 11:04 AM
1

Yes, this is the way. Just ignore the messages and document everything. You want to maintain a clean image and most of all show that you are reasonable and willing to work with her. Judges know this is an emotional process, it helps if you can show even temperament and patience dealing with an uncooperative spouse.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 11:02 AM
1

My attorney refers to my wife's communications through her attorney as Looney Tunes emails. We do not respond, my attorney has told me to stay out of the much and maintain a squeaky clean image during the negotiations. She said no one cares, not the judge or the court what my wife accuses me of, only what can be proven with evidence which can be difficult to introduce into court. Just follow the interim agreement and court orders in place, you want to avoid litigation that could run you thousand…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 11:00 AM
1

Thanks for the reply. My wife is the one that was removed from the home, I am still here. So in every two week period I have my daughter for 6 overnights and my STBXW has her for 8 overnights. We have full days only no split schedule. What I am pushing for in settlement and the final agreement/parenting plan is 50/50 physical custody, which means I would only need to receive one additional overnight for each two week period for this to be joint physical custody. I'm even willing to keep CS where…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 10:55 AM
1

Thank you for the reply. I think what trips me up the most is that the attorneys are so non committal in their replies to me, or they just feel this is the most likely outcome they do not stress the point. Can you talk about the babysitters defense you used in your case? I have a full time live in nanny to watch my daughter while she is with me, and I work from home 100% of the time when I have parenting time. My wife's argument is that her job is less demanding and since her job is 100% remote …
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 10:47 AM
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