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MsSmiley1230 Archive

View 1 post and 46 comments by MsSmiley1230 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
20

MsSmiley1230/r/RedPillWomen10/06/23 07:03 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

In some ways a house is more binding than a marriage because they make divorce much more complicated and expensive. I’m remarried and had an “amicable” divorce from my first husband, mostly because there wasn’t a lot to fight over. The amicable divorce was much less expensive and time consuming but I guarantee that if we had anything of real value, it wouldn’t have been amicable.
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 11:00 PM
10

I like the praise in public, criticize in private. Most people don’t share positive aspects of their relationships-they only share the negative. Then they’re surprised that their friends and family don’t like their partner. It’s a hard balance because I do need someone to vent to occasionally but we also need to make sure that even in those venting friendships that we share positive things as well. I vent to my mom but I also make sure I share all the nice things too. I want her to like my husba…
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/24 03:41 PM
6

You remind me of myself-I identify with a lot of that. The first time I told my now husband that I loved him, I had to look in a different direction. The eye contact combined with expressing love was too much. I also think it harms me in other ways. My friendships are very superficial with one exception. My friends don’t realize this because they tell me all sorts of things and I give support but I never ask for support. I can’t show physical affection to anyone other than my husband, kid, and p…
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/24 04:25 AM
16

Yes I’m happily married. If we had to go long distance I would stay because we’re married but I would never willingly enter a long distance relationship again. The main thing I recommend for those with anxious attachment is to recognize that, while it is not your partner’s responsibility to stabilize your mental state, you should choose a partner who is supportive and who will not actively make your anxiety worse. I can’t be with someone who needs a lot of space or who reacts to problems by need…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/24 06:06 PM
33

You sound like you have an anxious attachment style. I do too. I have never conquered this to be honest despite therapy and self help books. I have an intense fear of abandonment. I will say that this relationship might not be salvageable but you’re young and you will find other relationships. When I was young, I destroyed a relationship because of my anxiety-it was also long distance. If it ends, I highly recommend avoiding long distance relationships-they have always made me anxious tendencies…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/24 05:32 PM
7

Your friend sounds like me minus the religion. I went from hyper independent and feminist to very submissive in a very short amount of time. I believe it was because I finally felt safe enough to submit. I’m sure it gave my friends and family whiplash. I will also say that I am happy that I had that time in my life to be independent like that. My husband is older and unless something tragic happens to me, I will become a fairly young widow. Frankly I think I’ll be single after that because no ma…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/24 05:26 PM
17

Dating older was the best thing I ever did. My husband is much older and it’s perfect for me. I won’t say there aren’t drawbacks (I worry a lot about how I will emotionally cope when he’s gone) but the good far outweighs the bad IMO.
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/24 09:17 PM
9

My situation is somewhat similar to yours. My daughter is young so she sees my husband as a parent. My stepson was 17 when we got married so he does not see me as a parent. Now we get along fine! But I don’t take responsibility for him the same way my husband takes responsibility for my daughter. I help my stepson-I give him rides, help him apply for college, etc. But I recognize that I am not primarily responsible for him. I would attempt to separate my complaints into two categories-things tha…
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/24 12:02 PM
60

It is my experience in life that “feminist” men rarely actually follow their ideals. My feminist first husband had me do everything-working, childcare, cooking, cleaning, finances. It all fell on me. My now husband definitely is the leader and expects me to be fairly submissive in our relationship but he would never watch me do everything by myself. He believes its his obligation to take care of me. That’s why I submit to him. Its very easy to submit to a man who makes to their mission in life t…
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/24 07:57 PM
8

I felt the same way when I got married to my first husband. It never improved and we eventually divorced. I don’t know how you can fix it because I never successfully solved it but it is a real problem and needs attention before you get married. I will say that it is very hard on a man (or woman) to feel like their spouse does not want them. It sends their self esteem down the toilet. Having sex with someone doing it out of obligation is soul crushing. What kind of man wants to have sex with an …
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/24 05:22 PM
8

I moved in quickly and then got engaged very quickly as well. I definitely acted the same but before the engagement I did not allow myself to be as attached. I still did all the wife things but I kept my full emotional commitment back. Once we were engaged, he was basically my husband in my eyes. It didn’t take long for us to be married after the engagement since neither of us wanted a big wedding.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/23 06:42 PM
5

I have never been attracted to a man that I didn’t know well. I met my husband at work and knew him for over a year before we dated. I can even pinpoint the exact moment I felt attracted to him for the first time. I’ve been on dates with men I met online and they were not successful. I don’t think I experience attraction that way. I have never looked at a man and thought they were sexy. But now that I know my husband so well he makes me literally weak with desire and want. Everything he does is …
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/23 04:17 PM
8

I was in a marriage where I did it all. I earned the money, did most of the childcare, did most of the cooking, and more than half of the cleaning. Ironically my ex was an alleged feminist who felt I could fight my own battles and didn’t need help. My now husband is very traditional and yet does way more around the house because he loves me and doesn’t want me to suffer. It’s interesting to me how the man who claimed to believe in equality let me handle everything in our household like that.
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/23 09:56 PM
3

My husband and I have the same job but he is paid more (he’s older and has been doing it a lot longer). He probably brings in about 65% of the money. Childcare is 65% me. She is not his biological child but he is still pretty involved. I am the one who takes her to activities, does homework, etc. But he will help with bed time, discipline, transportation, etc. Housework is honestly 50/50 most of the time. Sometimes he does more than me but lately I’ve been doing more because he has had medical p…
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/23 09:52 PM
4

This is what I wanted too. I grew up struggling. In my first marriage I was the main provider for the last several years of it and my ex had a gambling addiction. I really loved him but eventually I had to leave for my own sanity and future-and for my daughter’s future. Now I’m remarried. I still work but I know deep in my soul that I can rely on my husband to take care of me if something happened. We don’t live the most glamorous of lives. We have a modest home, two decent cars, and money for s…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/23 09:48 PM
3

I also think that some men (not most) are inconsiderate of their wife’s needs in the bedroom and then are shocked when she doesn’t act enthused. I want intimacy all the time from my husband but that’s because he is generous in bed. If he was selfish I might feel differently.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/23 04:45 PM
3

There are men out there who want that. However, they are most likely not in their early twenties.
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/23 01:31 PM
5

I’ll be honest-I have never seen a single man and automatically thought he was attractive. Interestingly I have thought that random women were attractive even though I am not really interested in women. I have to interact with a man to find him attractive. For example, if I’m watching a TV show, I will find a male character sexy but it is the character-I am not really attracted to the actor outside of that role. I find my husband insanely attractive but I knew him for a year before I did. Then I…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 06:03 PM
6

You will find that person!
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 09:58 PM
107

I believe that men know pretty quickly if they want to be with you long term or not. My husband has told me that he knew within the first week that he was interested in being with me long term. He was talking about marrying me a few months into it. Also I wouldn’t want to be with a man I had to beg for commitment from. I would forever be anxious about his feelings. It’s really nice to be with a man who was decisive about wanting you. It makes me feel safe, secure, and beautiful.
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 03:56 PM
3

Yes she initiated the divorce and I do think he is afraid I will leave him. I also think he is worried about me staying but losing attraction-I know that there was a dead bedroom situation in the last years of the marriage. I agree that he’s grappling with his mortality. No, he will never get back to 100% of where he was. While I am okay with caretaking, I am struggling with his mortality as well. I have become so emotionally dependent on him that him being gone seems impossible. I cannot overst…
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/23 05:17 PM
2

His prior marriage ended fairly amicably. I think it was just one of those things where they got married young and quickly, had a kid immediately, and weren’t as compatible as they thought. This is also my second marriage. He has been in contact with friends in person but his family live several states away. He did have a mid life crisis and got a convertible (he’s usually a truck kind of guy because they’re useful). I’ve had people imply that I’m his mid life crisis but I disagree. He and I hav…
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/23 02:13 PM
5

Yes that’s what I meant by the statement. I meant it’s not an issue for me because I didn’t want anyone online to think I resented him for what I’m doing. There are a lot of people out there who don’t really mean the in sickness and in health part of their vows-i am not one of them. I recognize that it’s a very real issue to him. Honestly, I’m not a man but I would also be very frustrated if I were in the same boat. We are working very hard towards recovery. The reality is that there is no true …
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/23 02:02 PM
2

That’s a good idea. He was already talking about hiring someone for the lawn care, which is the biggest struggle right now.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/23 01:56 PM
6

While being thinner might make it easier to find a relationship, lots of women find men while overweight. I’m overweight and married an amazing man who is constantly making me feel beautiful. Ironically, his praise makes me want to take better care of myself so I’ve lost about 15 pounds this year and I’m losing more. That being said, I wouldn’t not look for a LTR just because you’re overweight now. Just keep focusing on your progress while also being open to opportunities. As far as what to wear…
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/23 12:06 AM
10

I’m in an age gap relationship. The pros-he’s mature, always knows what to do, is a leader without being controlling because he knows how to lead, he’s generous, etc. He’s also insanely attracted to me. I might be a fairly plain person to people my age but he acts like I’m a supermodel. I was a feminist before him because I had to be-I had to be strong and independent because I always had to fend for myself. I’m so soft around him because he creates an environment where it is safe to be vulnerab…
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/23 06:03 PM
4

Liking sex does not make someone promiscuous. My husband wants me to like the things we do-that’s part of the enjoyment for him.
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/23 02:01 PM
52

I am also in an age gap relationship. I would not date a man who had a history of dating younger women. My husband has had three serious relationships, including the one with me. The first woman was about six years older than him, the second two years younger. His online dating profile would have excluded me because of the age range he selected (we met at work). To me, this means he values me for me. I don’t think my age is the reason he’s dating me. In fact, I think it made him less interested …
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/23 01:54 AM
11

Boundaries are critical. A close friend of mine is a guy and someone I briefly dated in college. We’re both married and have a kid (well I have one, he has one on the way). I don’t hang out with him alone out of respect. If I want to talk to him about a private matter (like when he was asking for advice about pregnancy when his wife was having fertility issues) I call him and we speak on the phone. But we are never physically alone. I would never do anything to jeopardize my relationship and I d…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/23 11:43 PM
3

I don’t lie but my partner did. My now husband downplayed his number significantly. I think he did this to calm my anxieties. I was significantly less experienced than him and had had pretty negative experiences with sex. I was anxious about being bad at sex because of it and I think he downplayed his own experience so I wouldn’t feel worse. He is really good in bed; I am pretty decent now I think but not so much at the start. Over time he told me stories and I realized he had slept with way mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/23 11:27 PM
20

I hate to admit it but there’s some truth to this. I am left leaning but my fiancé is a bit right of center. He’s also fairly old fashioned in his views on gender. I find this very attractive but if someone would have told me five years ago that I would be with him I would have thought they were high. We both like talking politics and I think part of the appeal is that we agree on enough things that it never gets ugly but we differ enough that it’s interesting. I think he has become slightly mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 10:54 PM
9

I think this is tied to our lack of community. In the past people hardly ever moved so we felt some attachment to our neighborhood and the people in it. Now people are constantly being displaced and we have less interaction with neighbors in general.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/23 01:51 PM
1

That’s depressing. I agree with this. I think that people just don’t feel the same sense of community that they used to and it shows with things like this. There are exceptions but I think we’ve become so isolated from each other.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/23 01:43 PM
14

It’s going to depend on the man. I don’t think my husband would have not wanted to date me because of it. I do think that a pattern of behavior indicating that someone is comfortable with infidelity might make some men hesitant but a one time thing at 20 isn’t a pattern. I would not keep it a secret. I believe that you should be honest with your partner. I was married before and neither of us were honest with each other; now we’re divorced and I’m remarried. I’m happier now but I definitely lear…
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/22 11:33 PM
10

That’s what I thought before but some studies have suggested that legalizing sex work actually leads to more sex trafficking.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/22 10:13 AM
3

What if, for example, a woman gives in to sex but acts disinterested or disgusted the whole time, resulting in the man feeling emotionally rejected? Do you think a man would cheat to get the emotional validation he was lacking? Not arguing, just genuinely curious
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/22 02:09 PM
10

I agree with this. The reality is that many women do not trust the men in their lives to take care of them-for good reason a lot of the time. Two years ago I would have called myself an independent woman who just happened to be into being a sub in the bedroom. Now that I’m in my current relationship I realize I just didn’t trust my past partners. I trust my new partner and believe he will protect and take care of me and that makes me more willing to be submissive, for lack of a better word, in e…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/22 01:52 PM
27

I don’t know if this is the RPW advice but this is what I would do. I would tell him that you aren’t going to wait anymore and to let you know if he changes his mind but that you can’t guarantee that you’ll still be available. Then I would go no contact-right now he’s still seeing you and keeping tabs without commitment. Take that away. I would start dating. And really give it a chance-don’t just do it to make him jealous or whatever, actually look at your options. I suspect that if you do that …
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/22 11:27 AM
11

It’s a chicken and egg scenario. My fiancé is protective and sweet towards me. I know he would die to protect me. Because of this, I feel safe enough to let him make decisions for me. That in turn makes him feel respected so he is more protective which makes me more respectful and on and on. It’s a really beautiful dynamic and one I would never have thought I would be happy with.
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/22 12:47 AM
1

I’ve gotten a few different ones but I like willowbrook which can be bought on Amazon.
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/22 05:00 PM
1

Amazon! I also get them from a store that is local to me. However they’re cheaper on Amazon anyways. You can also get hanging ones for the closet. Anywhere where you store clothing or bedding. They last for a month or two.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/22 02:15 PM
6

I am similar to you in a lot of ways. I have been poor, I have dry and sensitive skin, and to top it all off I am also heavier than I should be which can definitely contribute to smells. Sorry for the TMI. With eating, keep a stain remover handy. If I’m out, I’ll usually try to avoid messy foods. Keep your hair up if your food gets in your hair. As far as showering daily-I shower or bathe twice a day (I shower in the morning before work and take a bath at night because I find it relaxing and bec…
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/22 05:25 PM
40

It’s silly but I love it. I am always way more tired than he is-I usually go to bed before him and sleep in later too. When I’m ready to go to sleep, he comes into the room and tucks me in. It makes me feel so cared for and safe.
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/22 10:43 PM
9

Are you generally anxious around people drinking? Or is this specific to your boyfriend because of the way he acts while drinking?
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/22 06:57 PM
21

I see myself as a career woman. I am very skilled at my job and I love working. However I give myself permission to be a softer version of myself at home. My fiancé has made me a home where I feel safe enough to be submissive, sweet, and feminine. Maybe try to switch your mindset and see it as a blessing that you can have this haven to express a softer side of yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/22 12:50 PM
13

I couldn’t be friends with someone who reacted to my trauma that way. She’s trash.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/22 03:08 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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