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MyDarlingGirl Archive

View 3 posts and 177 comments by MyDarlingGirl on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

We clearly have a very different view of morality and compassion for others. That's it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/21 05:29 AM
0

You sound kind of selfish and focused on your own needs. Are you being clear with these women that it’s just sex and they should not consider the possibility of a relationship with you?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/21 01:39 AM
1

I’m sorry I just don’t understand. Maybe it’s because women’s and men’s sexuality is so different. If I’m having sex with someone it’s because they’re physically attractive to me. Like physically attractive enough to consider a relationship with (of course there are other factors that end up being more important). Do you know that these “less attractive” women that you’re sleeping with might be interested in a relationship with you?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/21 01:32 AM
3

I will never understand men’s sexuality
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/21 12:45 AM
1

I've seen girls better looking than me commit to guys who I would never even look at a second time. Maybe that says more about me than them, but all I know is that most girls do NOT have high standards at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/21 12:00 AM
1

Also he's basically saying he's not even attracted to most of them?? wtf
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/21 11:59 PM
1

Well. I'll be damned. I believe you've figured me out.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/21 09:47 PM
2

i feel like there's this idea floating around on PPD that women basically "commit to a man in their minds" before sex can happen. Is this true in your experience? I do feel like it resonates with me personally. I only sleep with guys who I would want a relationship with.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/21 08:00 PM
2

Also, physical attractiveness is not everything in a relationship. For a woman who needs to feel cherished and loved by her man, some hawt random dude is likely not going to fit the bill. You need to be able to have conversations with him, feel listened to and heard...feel understood. It's hard enough finding these qualities in an average man. If you narrowed your pool down to only super hot dudes, it's not going to go well.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/21 03:16 AM
16

Yes, wtf, they're just pulling numbers out of their ass. And then they say that women lie on surveys at the same time. Make it make sense
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/21 03:08 AM
2

Hmm. I mean if their efforts result in a long-lasting faithful marriage to a woman, I feel like they've achieved their objective and been rewarded for their blue pill ideology. I guess you mostly notice the guys who do not reach their desired objective.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/21 03:05 AM
1

Curious as to what you think about men who only date for relationships (i.e. not interested in FWB/hookup culture). Because they are out there. Would they also consider being called "husband material" an insult?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/21 02:52 AM
2

Guys don't feel like improving themselves in this way for whatever reason. It's so frustrating. It was hard for me, like really fucking hard. But if I can do it, anyone can. Not only was I introverted, but also very socially anxious. I used to not be able to TALK to people. Like when they would ask me a question, I would be mute. I've come so far in just 5 years time. The only thing they're willing to do is lift, which is laughably a great representation of their poor understanding of male-femal…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 07:47 PM
2

I presented as an introvert for a good portion of my life. It took years and years of training and practice to be able to present as an extrovert. Life of an extrovert is infinitely better - I'm better liked, get invited to more things, get to try cool new activities... Only drawback is that now if I meet an introvert I judge them - because I'm the same as them but I chose to improve my life and they didn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 05:19 PM
0

Noted
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 06:10 PM
0

Yeah considerate
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 05:53 PM
1

lmao didn't think it was that bad
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 05:47 PM
1

Okay yeah I did it last night. Thanks for your advice
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/21 04:05 PM
1

Always been that way, I don’t know. Probably because I was treated like a princess growing up so it’s weird when someone doesn’t treat me like that
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 04:36 AM
1

I’m really avoidant, pretty selfish (ie I want the guy to please me first both in/out of the bedroom), and career-oriented
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 04:32 AM
0

LOL who's refusing to accept that looks matter in dating?? Literally no woman here. Yes, obviously it's not the only thing that matters, but it's definitely a bare minimum. Also there's definitely a threshold and situational attractiveness is a thing. To answer your question, no, absolutely not. If I was completely unattractive as a male, my chances would not be zero, but it would be a tough time for sure. Also my personality sucks for dating - I mean I struggle with it as a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 03:58 AM
1

Yup
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/21 02:36 AM
3

We talk Maybe 3-4 days on average I’d say i’m not a sexual person. How do i indicate that I’d open to sex without sounding like a sl*t?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 05:51 AM
4

Honestly... how is anyone having sex on the first date? Like guys will rarely even go for a kiss on the first night (if we met online). I feel like it takes some time for both parties to warm up. Is this not true?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 05:40 AM
1

I WAS Muslim. No longer am Muslim. I'm anti-religion in fact.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 05:19 AM
0

I'd say I'm physically attractive mainly because I have been pursued by high value men in my life, but I have many other traits that make me less desirable as a partner. I believe I'm what they call a "mental-cel"
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 02:31 AM
12

Yup, same. My med school classmates are all dating women with degrees and some are even engineers or fellow med students.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 02:56 AM
4

You misunderstand me. I would like to settle down with someone from my own race/community because they would be familiar with the particular customs, culture, and food that I've grown up with.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 02:36 AM
2

Yep, single for now. I was Muslim for a long time and only started dating a couple years ago (at 25). Tried dating all kinds of guys and had a lot of fun, but my med school grades started to slip and I was scared of failing out and being saddled with debt, so I've been focusing on that. If I could go back in time, I'd try to choose another career path so I could have time for a life (maybe even a trade), but it is what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 02:19 AM
-1

If you read my last paragraph i said that i did try dating high school graduates and we didn’t click.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 02:10 AM
1

Speaking from personal experience, that's not true for every woman
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 01:57 AM
7

You’re absolutely right
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 01:54 AM
18

Yeah, I've been on PPD for a while. I've heard of the "men date down" but "women date up" type of thing. Here's the thing though - in my social circles, every single person has a bachelors degree. Most high value men meet their partners in social circles, at school, at college or at grad school even. I've never met a highly educated man who hasn't married at least a college educated woman. I'm sure they exist and I'm sure those couples are more common than when genders are switched, but I have n…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 01:52 AM
11

It's not about the money. I would date a poor college-educated man vs a rich electrician/plumber. Let me explain why. I think it's great that men take up trades and infrastructure jobs instead of getting some useless degree at college. Those are necessary for the proper functioning of our society. However, I've always been a very academically-inclined, nerdy/intellectual type of person. That's not to say I'm smarter than these guys. I'm pretty sure a lot of them can run circles around me in term…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 01:49 AM
67

I grew up in a wealthy suburb of a major city. I've been around high value women and men all my life without realizing it. For me, a bachelor's degree in a partner is a bare minimum. I didn't realize until coming here that actually only 30% of men in America have their bachelors. It really put into perspective how few men are in the category that I would consider "dateable." Basically, it really hit me how much of a bubble I was in.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 01:29 AM
3

you do know that some women are introverts and may take longer to feel comfortable enough with a guy to have sex with him right? Some women may also have social anxiety making it harder for her be that vulnerable with someone so soon. Or do you just assume women are a monolith?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 01:25 AM
30

I am an emotionally unavailable woman. To go into reasons for it would take forever, but it has to do with some social issues stemming from my childhood/adolescence that I've had difficulty with overcoming. My emotional unavailability makes me unsuitable for long term relationships. I know that. I've met some great guys that I couldn't get myself to move to the next step with. I've self-sabotaged A LOT. I prefer apps to meeting people IRL, because I can easily cut them out of my life if needed. …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 01:18 AM
1

This is my totally unsubstantiated anecdotal experience, but it does seem like guys only are friends with attractive or at least average women. I've rarely ever seen guys who befriend below average or ugly women. Now whether or not they escalate that into a relationship is up in the air (depends on the guy and his options). It's almost like a status thing I've found for a lot of guys. To have a lot of female friends around you is usually considered a good thing in terms of social status, no matt…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 01:08 AM
2

Yeah, this is what normies do. PPD is not made up of normies so we pretend this isn't just a fact of life that most couples start off as friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 01:05 AM
1

This is a complicated issue though. What's considered feminine, beautiful, and even healthy for women has been molded by centuries of patriarchy and patriarchal ideals. Women in their mid-20s for example start to gain some weight to bear children. While that's physiologically normal, society tells us it's wrong and puts more pressure on us to go on diets, etc. so we can look like 18 year olds again, which of course, is not possible to achieve in a healthy way. It is important to lift each other …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/21 06:45 AM
4

Not this again 🙄 Some men are banging cute women regularly or semi-regularly and do not want commitment. They don't feel ready for it and/or they don't want it period. There are men in the same attractiveness category who would fuck-zone women who look like Gigi Hadid and wife up women who look like Elaine from Seinfeld (cute but not hot) depending on circumstance. It's very rare for a man to fuck totally ugly women and then put a ring on a hot one all of a sudden. That doesn't happen unless the…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/21 12:26 AM
6

Not always a disaster. My brother doesn't need help in that department, but I did introduce him to men's fashion, and he's really enjoying it and I think it's helped his confidence for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 03:11 AM
3

I personally consider work to be a noble endeavor and healthy for a human being, physically and psychologically. That said, I’d want him to have a job that fulfills him and makes him happy. I don’t care how much he makes.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 05:47 PM
6

Absolutely not. Like I said, I only date men younger than me. They’re more fun, less domineering/arrogant
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 05:42 PM
3

I’m gorgeous lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 05:40 PM
1

26
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 05:39 PM
3

That's really nice of you, especially since I assume you're not dating anymore (?) Wish I had a friend like that for the past two years :)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 04:31 AM
31

100% the former. It's a myth that all women prefer older career men. I'm in med school right now and will likely be earning a high salary when I'm in my mid-30s. I'd be absolutely happy with a sweet, attractive man who has just some kind of job to keep him busy. I do not want to marry another doctor. Definitely not a lawyer either. I need someone to add balance to my life. Also, I prefer younger men to older. Every man I've dated has been younger than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 03:58 AM
-5

The fact that you equate engaging in a very intimate activity with someone to spending money on someone tells me all I need to know about you.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/21 05:51 AM
0

It's not as simple as that for women. It's not that they think "you owe me a relationship" (at least not most women). If anything, it's more like "I thought we were on the same page which is why I agreed to have sex and now I see that we're not and that hurts." Sex can put women in a very vulnerable spot. Men can never know what it's like to be in the female's position during a sex act. You feel totally at the mercy of this bigger, stronger person in front of you and trust is a huge part of allo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/21 03:22 AM
1

Literally ANYTHING else. Do not buy polos and khakis anymore. This kind of shirt looks great to me: https://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shop/vintage-patterned-silk-shirt?category=mens-tops&color=009&type=REGULAR&quantity=1 But if you still don't want to change, then just accept your life the way it is now. Change is the only thing that will give you different results in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 09:42 PM
1

lol I graduated college 4 years ago. Did not dress the part and was never into Greek life or anything. Focused on school and commuted. I had only attended two parties while there. It's actually quite easy to fall through the cracks.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/21 05:30 AM
2

You seem to lead a fun life! Any advice on how to get more into a "party" or "fun vibes" scene?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/21 03:27 AM
3

Girl don't listen to him. They love putting down women here. Relationship-minded guys may want a relationship but put sex as a priority right now due to circumstances (pandemic). This is especially true if prepandemic you noticed guys were taking things slower with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 01:59 AM
1

They've probably thought about it, since humans are sexual beings and men tend to be more sexually minded than women. That being said, they're not animals. If they don't see a future with you, they're not going to pursue it, and none of my friends have pursued anything like that with me. Some have made it clear that they're going to marry someone from their own culture/race/religion/etc., which excludes me anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/21 07:33 PM
2

He is not! through scrolling through his page, I found some vids with his girlfriend
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 10:17 PM
7

This doesn't help your initial argument though. If it made evolutionary sense, men would get more virile as they age, but they don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 03:09 AM
2

I can't tell if you're joking or not, but I'm bi and the girls I go for are definitely the type you described. The trashier-looking, the hotter they are to me
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 02:54 AM
2

What about nail polish vs bare nails? Is there a preference among men or does it not matter?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 02:51 AM
5

It really doesn't actually. Both men and women's fertility begins to decline around the same time (35). The difference is that men can still father children relatively easily but the risk of genetic abnormalities goes up.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 02:50 AM
1

Getting my nails done as a treat tomorrow. Saw a post on here about a bf wanting his gf to get fake nails and wondering if guys even care about that? Nails are something I never even considered when I was dating. In fact, I think during my whole dating life I have only ever had short, bare nails. I dressed up in other ways: jewelry, makeup, hair done, nice dresses/shoes, etc. For some reason I never even thought to paint my nails. I'm single and not working right now, so thought it was a chance …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 02:43 AM
3

He has a cute gf, so one definitely does!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 01:50 AM
5

This kind of boneheaded, one-dimensional thinking is why so many men struggle with dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 01:38 AM
1

You're not a 50. I am sure of it
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 01:35 AM
4

Yes, because girls have it drilled into them from a young age that they should "date older" and that older guys will "treat them better." All lies, of course. You'll see me marry a guy 10 years younger than me before I marry some guy 10 years older.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 01:34 AM
10

He actually has a pretty hot girlfriend. Yeah, she's "alt" but he's doing better than a lot of the men here, it seems like.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 01:33 AM
11

He has a girlfriend, so at least bi, if not straight
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 01:23 AM
3

Ok you are literally proving my point. Men vastly underestimate style and aesthetics. It’s something that is important to women and something that men barely notice so they don’t think it matters when it is pretty high up (I stand by that).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 12:07 AM
1

Totally agree!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 12:01 AM
2

TikTok is a good start if you’re a young guy. I learn a lot abt fashion from there. If you’re older than 30, maybe something like guys fashion on pinterest or ask better dressed guys you know about it
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 11:23 PM
4

These guys are 5s to me and I am not sexually attracted to them. They have round pudgy faces and their hair is too short. But that’s just me. I would 100% swipe left on an app. They also look super boring. I’m not trying to represent all women. I personally find finer, more chiseled features more attractive. An interesting style also gets a like from me. I’d say a lot of women agree with me, but is it a majority? Not sure. If a guy wants a basic girl, he should dress basic and conventional like …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 11:21 PM
2

Those women who say they only dress up for themselves are so entrenched in patriarchal thought that they’re a lost cause. They like makeup because it makes them feel good about themselves. Why? Because makeup gets them better treatment and they like the validation, albeit subconsciously
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 11:18 PM
12

I’m now convinced this sub is like 80% old af white men.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 11:07 PM
9

Yeah apparently a whole collection of genderbending/androgynous musicians and artists with huge female followings simply don’t exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 11:04 PM
3

Where in my post above did I say style was the only contributing factor? I mean, did you even read the whole thing? I mention again and again that if a man starts out with nice features, a style will enhance that when it comes to attracting women. No one is saying you can put a totally unattractive men in a nice outfit, and expect change. I’m certainly not saying that. Also genetic facial structure and a good body will always be #1. Style does help though. By the way, I know many women who think…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 11:00 PM
13

Yeah if the average woman thought like this she’d be pumped and dumped or completely ignored. Men have demonstrated time and time again that they prefer a feminine woman, who wears light makeup, dresses in a flattering way, and has nice “tamed” hair. If women put effort into their appearance, it should be ok for men to do so as well
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 10:56 PM
4

He 100% had some kind of style if he was a musician. You probably didn’t realize because it’s not standing out to you, but it stands out to the women he’s attracting
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 10:40 PM
2

... what was the point of this? Not everyone gets off on the fantasy of abusing a bunch of women to make you feel good about yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 10:35 PM
2

Sounds good then! Hope you both find what you’re looking for
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 10:26 PM
2

Please don't do that to your fwb, unless she actually wants that kind of no strings attached situation with you. If you want to look for someone else to try something serious with you, you should just end things with her and do that. Just date and have sex with women you actually see potential with. You will respect yourself more for it. Also, just saying that if you want a find a quality woman (low N count), kind, compassionate woman - she's going to want to see those same qualities in you.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 08:33 PM
3

No idea, if you looked like what you describe I wouldn’t touch you with a 10 ft pole 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 07:41 PM
3

Tbh I don’t see it as a bad word. I’d like to be lured in by someone cute 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 07:27 PM
12

It’s because not a lot of men dare experiment with their style so women just put up with plain-styled men because that’s all there is really. If this was more normalized, you’d see more women with these type of guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 07:22 PM
21

Guys expect all women to go after the buff tall minimalist brooding dude. There are plenty of attractive women who prefer “alt” guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 07:20 PM
16

Being gay doesn’t mean girls are not attracted to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 07:19 PM
27

This is what I mean. Men completely do not understand what kind of style appeals to women. Check out the comments, if you have the app. There are good looking girls simping over this man for sure. As a woman myself I can say that this guy is attractive to a lot of woman after the transition.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 07:17 PM
1

I've had a few male friends over the years through school and work. They all had other female friends (I was certainly not their first or only female friend). It seems like there is a certain breed of man who has mastered the art of talking to women as *gasp* human beings. Women have different conversation styles than men do, and men with a lot of female friends will typically know how to do this. None of them were interested in me romantically. How do I know? Because I pursued one of them and g…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 06:37 PM
10

Surprised by the comments. Doormats will get walked all over, whether they are men or women. I have always been treated better when I've been 100% direct about what I want and been clear about my expectations. Both men and women have also told me that they respected me for it. For obvious reasons, "pick mes" and "cool girls" don't typically set expectations because they are so focused on obtaining their "prize" (a man, most likely). People don't respect those who don't respect themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 06:33 PM
5

Maybe it's because I'm a woman, but I've never been in a relationship (I'm 26) and I still know that I prefer being single. I do not have the personality to establish a relationship and make it last (i.e. I'm fiercely independent, put my needs first always, am not "caring" etc). There are some people who are good at compromise, and there are people like me who will resent others for making them compromise.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/21 05:23 PM
5

Men for sure. As a woman, I think it's gross at worst and nothing to really applaud at best if he's an attractive dude. The truth is, is that for an attractive, outgoing guy, it's going to be pretty easy to get a girl to sleep with him. I do tend to be impressed by non-conventionally attractive dudes who pull girls, but for attractive men it's just another day in their life. Nothing impressive.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/21 09:56 PM
5

I made a similar post on my subreddit, /r/FDSdissent. Though I didn't discuss the issue of women's pool of attractive men not increasing due to self-improvement. I don't really agree with you because while the pool of attractive men doesn't increase, your access to them does (with self-improvement), which is all that matters in the end. The main issue I find with FDS is that they focus too much on passive "strategies" to date men. This will only really help with subpar men or the first 2-3 dates…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 06:51 PM
2

100% non talkative one. I kind of hate talking lol. That’s part of the reason I struggle with dating
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/21 04:46 PM
1

more to do with their fear of their own death that's got them real fucked up yeah that's exactly what I meant. By being mortal you have a fear of death and are cognizant of a limited life span so it affects how you treat others and your own actions.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/21 01:54 AM
2

Do you think we'd be better if we were immortal? There's something about mortality that makes humans insufferable, I believe.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/21 10:30 PM
2

This is part of the reason why I'm ex-Muslim now.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/21 10:29 PM
18

Every woman who says she wants a man to treat her right is labeled "entitled" by the internet. It's getting old.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/20 11:19 PM
4

Grades were due in like 2 weeks after this episode, so she didn't want to be in a position where her grades were affected :/ She did not report him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 07:45 PM
11

This is kind of off-topic, but I hate the whole "love language" thing. If I were dating, I would be looking for a guy who does a little bit of everything. I'd want him to say nice things, be physically affectionate, consider my needs, get me gifts when appropriate, etc. I feel like men have hijacked the love language thing by clinging to one (usually physical touch) and use it as an excuse not to do any other reasonable loving acts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 05:43 PM
24

I used to think this didn't happen in America ("certainly not in this modern era"), but then it happened to my friend. The TA asked her to get a cup of coffee and while at the university coffeeshop, he tried to push her into watching netflix at his place. Thankfully, she didn't go. It was really inappropriate of him to do that though since he was grading our papers. This was back in 2014 so fairly recent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 05:22 PM
24

Exactly! The only way to have a successful casual relationship is if you're the one who suggested it and if the guy would rather have a relationship. And "casual" guys do the same thing all the time! They pursue casual sex with women who want relationships because they want to feel all the cuddles and the warmth that comes from a woman being romantically interested in them even when they treat her like shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 03:34 AM
9

I think what annoyed me most was this idea that he has no idea how it makes her feel. Like can we stop perpetuating this myth that men don't know that what they're doing is hurtful or disrespectful to their partners? Oh they absolutely know. They just don't entertain these thoughts long enough for it to result in any kind of action on their part. Cuz THEY DON'T WANT TO CHANGE! They want to keep viewing their insta-hotties and have a warm body to sleep next to at night.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 02:45 AM
71

Marriage and kids are what hold women back from positions of power. Yes, some women are able to "have it all" (because of a truly amazing man in their life), but for most it's a gamble. I think this election has really solidified my decision to go into politics once I've retired from medicine. I do not plan to marry or have children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 01:59 AM
41

I mean...that's not really an excuse though. If a woman truly doesn't want to get pregnant, she will do everything in her power to make sure that doesn't happen (i.e. staying on top of birth control and only having sex with condoms). Most women do want marriage before kids, but because of irresponsible behaviors (in some cases, even pressure/coercion from partner), they get pregnant. Other women think that they can "trap" a man by having his baby, which is just a totally different brand of delus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 01:57 AM
19

The post is on /r/relationship_advice. It's what you'd expect. A lot of people telling her "it's just a fantasy!", "he has NO idea how this makes you feel!" and "just TALK to him! CoMmuNiCAte." Also a lot of gross guys talking about how they view porn but "not around their wife/SO" as if that was the issue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 01:47 AM
7

It should be noted that for a lot of women there may be MONTHS of recovery time after an abusive situation. You may feel unhappy, angry, and hurt for a while. That doesn't mean that the above statement isn't true. You can leave someone knowing you did the right thing and still feel like shit. That's normal. But what's important to know is that the sooner you get out, the sooner you can start to heal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 12:41 AM
4

But she can attract a man who values her physically? That's the truth. Men will date fat women. Not you, obviously, but some other guy might date her. I don't support the fat acceptance movement. I just gave her an honest answer. Men are attracted to a wide variety of women. Personally, I think she needs to focus on her health before thinking about dating, but that's just me.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/20 08:32 AM
3

There's a way to counsel overweight people and it's not by tearing them down or being awful to them. This "tough love" shit backfires more than it helps. Whatever I said in my comment is 100% true. Fat women do date and find LTRs, but it's a dealbreaker for some guys. More important than the effects on dating is the effects on health, however. I think if a woman is overweight, she needs to put dating on the backburner and put her health first. But that's my personal opinion and I wouldn't force …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/20 08:30 AM
7

yeah I've definitely seen that sentiment over there... it's unfortunate that it's not as nice and welcoming of a place as FDS is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 06:22 AM
6

It's a matter of personal preference, in my opinion. Also, it takes me a bit of time to warm up to someone. Lots of messages at once can be overwhelming for me. They seem disingenuous and forced. I like to ease into things. If it's meant to be, we'll be able to naturally talk about things every day. It also doesn't help that I'm a medical student and have been working 70-80 hours for the past year. That changes things, I'm sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 06:04 AM
1

Yeah, I expected the same to be honest. I just hope someone else takes over before she does, because I do think there is room for a subreddit in between FDS and a purely radical feminist space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 05:54 AM
9

Hostile, in my experience. Some of the users are very serious about it being a separatist sub, meaning they expect the women there to be separatist in their ideology (i.e. serious about no longer dating or having sex, not just going there to complain about men, and actively pursuing a separatist lifestyle). They also don't like posts about FDS, even critical ones, so one of the users told me this on one of my posts there. I told her I didn't know there were rules against it and I said the mods w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 05:47 AM
9

Oh girl, this was not the right place to post this. There are some very angry, bitter men on here who relish in tearing women down any chance they get. I'm going to be honest though: some men will be turned off and others won't be. If it's any consolation, most of the fat women I know are in apparently happy relationships with guys who are kind to them and clearly love them. As a healthcare provider, I feel like it's important to mention that it is not only your appearance that is affected by th…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/20 05:19 AM
8

I honestly believe some women just cannot face the truth that their partners disrespect them or don't love them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 03:56 AM
13

Up there is /r/wgtow. Just know that some of the pre-FDS users can be a bit...unwelcoming, to put it lightly. They're used to it being more of a radfem/separatism subreddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 03:54 AM
3

Girl, you dodged a bullet. Tbh, it's probably better that he got this stuff out of the way on the first date since it seems very important to him - so important that he's breaking the unspoken "first date" rules to talk about it. It saved your time!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 03:51 AM
39

Ugh how are these men so horrible
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 03:50 AM
6

It's really quite infuriating. The only guys that seem to have a sense of humor and communication style I can tolerate are guys with female friends. Of course, that comes with its own host of issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 03:42 AM
22

Yeah I always felt weird about the FDS expectation for a man to text everyday. I mean, I'm personally way too busy for that and would get very annoyed with a guy who was an incessant texter. It's just not how I wish to communicate with someone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 10:55 PM
48

Wow did not know that about Dakota Johnson's parents. Moved in with him at 15?? Sheesh. I don't even remember being 15 since it was 10 years ago but I definitely know I was not close to being emotionally ready for a relationship let alone cohabitation with some 22 year old.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 09:41 AM
2

I've seen many posts by the mods saying they won't assign flairs by request anymore. It's more like something they assign based on how often they see you on here, I believe. I was "throwaway" until about a few days ago so they're definitely changing flairs on an ongoing basis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 02:54 AM
5

I've never been in a relationship (good or bad) and I'm 26. I'm just realizing I'm not cut out for that life and maybe never was if I never put too much effort into dating. I just started dating at 25 and it was more like a net negative in my life. I had so many wonderful things going for me (great friends, new apartment, good career) and dating just sucked the peace out of my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 02:52 AM
9

Agreed. Also, not a huge fan of that label on an actual baby's neck. most women behave like they do because they honestly think there's nothing better out there for them. They think this is what they have to do to be successful with men and therefore "happy" in their minds. Sure, they've deluded themselves into saying it's "empowering" and what-not, but I think it's because they crave that validation from men they think they need.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 10:32 PM
27

Decided I will never marry and likely enjoy the rest of my 20s and 30s building my career and traveling/gaining life experiences, then maybe go into politics or adopt in my 40s depending on what's important to me at the time. I'm pretty happy. Feel like I finally figured it out. Attaching yourself to a man seems pointless at best and dangerous at worst. Marriage is always something I was very afraid of because I feel like every marriage I saw growing up was terrible in some way, including my par…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 07:57 PM
58

Being called a bitch for not wanting to casually fuck some stranger? omg, what has modern dating become??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 04:53 AM
19

Ugh, you're right about these movies. They NEVER date, she NEVER vets. They basically just end up in bed together one night and she ends up "catching feels" for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 04:45 AM
124

I believe this is exactly what happened. Michael bay expected her to service him sexually and she said no, which is why he doesn't spare a chance to ridicule/humiliate her in the media.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 04:22 AM
82

Wow had no idea she was so eloquent. This is written very well. It sucks how the media portrays her. One thing that I've noticed about exceptionally beautiful women is when they're also intelligent, nobody seems to care or notice. Beauty trumps every other quality in a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 04:19 AM
5

The stakes are too high this election. I'm not going to risk voting third party at such a pivotal time in our history and I don't think others should either. Unfortunately change is extremely difficult with how things are structured. I wish that we had a multi-party system too. We have to use the only tool we have (voting for a major, established party) to make sure incompetent, dangerous, corrupt people are out of the white house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 08:04 PM
3

"Sexual assault is rare." Almost EVERY single sexually active woman I've met has a story about sexual assault. Yes, some are more "minor" incidents than others (i.e. "gray areas" as people like to call them), but the point is, everyone has a story. The statistic "1 in 5" woman get assaulted is not far from the truth, and I believe it may be an underestimation quite frankly depending on what you define as "sexual assault."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 05:03 PM
7

Because voting third party splits the vote (specifically the democratic vote), and third party has a near zero chance of winning so you're basically just sabotaging the democratic party for nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 04:56 PM
8

I have not! I will google it later
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 06:49 AM
48

I was just thinking the other day how odd heterosexuality it is. To sexually desire men who are physically and socially dominant to you in society: it seems a bit weird doesn't it? It's almost like a biologically programmed stockholm syndrome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 12:55 AM
27

Men are the champions of the phrase "It's easier to ask forgiveness than to beg for permission." I believe they are 100 % in control, even as they're close to coming. They would just rather have their nut than listen to you in that moment. It's a brutal truth we have to accept about most men. I lost my virginity in a similar way to this lady's story. I still have never told anyone about it IRL, because it's very painful to think about. I was totally shocked that he didn't stop when I told him to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 05:42 PM
17

Starting conversations with guys you find cute can be considered decent social skills. But asking them out with a clear romantic (they take it as "sexual") intent? NO, NEVER. I always felt humiliated afterwards. I asked one guy to get drinks with me and he suggested we just go over to his place because he "wasn't in a good mental space". He then asked me for a blowjob 🤮. Just for the record, things never went beyond a little bit of kissing with him, THANK GOD. I left early and never asked him to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 05:23 PM
3

Yeah, I said this in another comment actually. I think adoption will align better with my values.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 04:52 PM
59

So what should a woman do if she doesn't want to be choked or slapped in bed? since it's so fucking "common" and "normal"? You know what's not normal? Men wanting to be choked in bed. Why is it always us who have be fucking degraded during sex? And shame on that bf for even bringing it up. Her emotions are 100% valid and he's a loser who's only thinking with his dick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 03:14 AM
22

I mean, I'm sure I would have no issues finding good sperm, but the idea that my child's father is out there somewhere just living his life without knowledge of our child... it's a little unnerving. Maybe I'm too much of a traditionalist when it comes to this, not sure. Just seems weird to me the more I think about it. I might actually adopt. It seems to align with my values a little better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 03:00 AM
134

This is part of the reason I'm WGTOW. I've already lived a stressful life as it is being in medicine. At one point, I do want to be able to relax and enjoy my earnings and freer schedule. That's not going to happen if I marry and have kids straight out of residency. It's amazing that what we are conditioned to believe is the ultimate end goal for our lives is so harmful to us. I thought I was the only one who was stressed out by men and dating. Turns out, other women are just better at hiding it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 10:14 PM
1

That is sad. But what's also sad is a bunch of short-term relationships, one after another, that you keep leaving because the sex keeps getting "boring." I don't think I'd want to be in either of those situations, but at least with an LTR/marriage, you have a companion with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/20 07:52 PM
4

i've always had trouble justifying pursuing casual sex as it does take up time and time is very valuable, especially for those of us who are in intense careers. I just assume that the people who are having a lot of casual sex have a lot of free time on their hands or aren't too ambitious with their careers. I could be wrong of course but my perspective is skewed as I'm in a very intense career path (i.e. I work through weekends or get some much needed sleep/relaxation in).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/20 04:09 AM
7

Something I learned this year: you can prevent re-traumatization. That's not to say that you can't blame the perpetrators for what they did to you. They are absolutely at fault for the trauma they inflicted on you, but you can avoid situations that you know have traumatized you in the past. This has helped me immensely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 06:52 AM
54

that's a much more realistic message for girls. Interesting that there's some wisdom in these ancient tales.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 01:21 AM
8

Same deal with my mom. She definitely has a lot of trauma from the whole ordeal of moving to a new country away from her whole family and then having a kid she wasn't ready for. She took out her anger on me, unfortunately, for many years until she grew up herself and realized that there were better ways to deal with things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 06:15 AM
6

How do you ladies stop blaming yourself for something a man did to you? I feel like it's very easy in this society that tends to blame women for a lot of things. For example, when I was dating a guy forever ago, he wouldn't voluntarily try to make me cum during sex. He would just finger me until I was wet and then go in. When I asked him to make me cum after sex, he would half-ass it until I told him to just stop trying. I blame myself not only because I wasn't clearer with him about making me c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 09:17 PM
10

Yeah my roommate doesn't understand these things either. There was a guy in our class who was clearly trying to get with me. I told her I wasn't interested because there's a compatibility issue. But just because he's "hot" she keeps trying to see if I've changed my mind. She even told me I was "stupid" for turning him down. She frustrates me to no end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 07:35 PM
34

yes at least there's a lot of pressure for both men and women to get married in our culture (especially if you're already in a relationship), so you don't see any of this "stringing along," "forever girlfriend" or "splitting the rent" business. I'm actually now really thankful that my culture has given me high standards when it comes to dealing with men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 07:50 AM
97

If not for FDS, I would have NO idea this stuff was happening. I grew up pretty sheltered in a South Asian community. Only dipped my feet in the dating pool at 25. This shit seems so disrespectful to me. I always envied people who could do American dating, but I definitely don't envy it as much now. Like there's definitely misogyny in our community when it comes to gender relations, but there's still misogyny in American dating - it's just packaged differently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 06:18 AM
5

UGH for real though. Good news: women have exceeded men in acceptances to medical school. Our salaries are probably going to go down as a result in the next few decades if the trend continues (women's work is undervalued), but it's something. Tbh, mostly men on dating apps have thought I was a nurse when I tell them I'm in "medical school." But I have had some patients ask for clarification on what my role was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 06:15 AM
5

That's creepy to me. I remember how I was at 19 - I was practically a child in the way I thought about things. I think most women do remember how they were as teens or in their early 20s. There's so much you don't know about the world (or men). When you're like that, it's very easy for someone to take advantage of you. The first thought that would come to my mind if a guy in his 30s said this to me: "This is not a good man. Get away from him."
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 03:40 AM
4

This is actually my career dream! I'm planning to apply to a psychiatry residency and I'm hoping to eventually work with teen girls! I think teen girls especially need good psychological guidance. They're probably one of the most vulnerable populations, yet everyone just leaves them out for the wolves with no warning or awareness whatsoever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 03:28 AM
6

This would work if there was a guarantee that your husband would provide for you FOREVER, love you FOREVER, and not do anything wrong that would necessitate you leaving for your own physical and/or emotional safety. Why won't they realize that we NEED the education and we NEED the career? Men have shown time and time again that they're completely unreliable. No woman should sacrifice an education and a career for a man, because he would leave her destitute in a second. So what if they don't cons…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 03:06 AM
1

Yeah. It would be nice if more men put effort in
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/20 04:01 PM
1

Their status is about the same as the woman's, i.e. he's a lawyer, she's a doctor. That sorta thing. That's why I said "similar jobs." seems like the girl has got everything - beauty, solid job, fitness, and the dude just brings his job and maybe kindness to the table. That's it. It's quite common among women with high status careers because they value career over looks in a man. All I know is that I see a lot of pretty girls around, both single and with ugly dudes and barely see any handsome gu…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 08:29 PM
15

Sometimes I wish I could go back and do software engineering instead of premed in college. Then I read these stories and I'm like, wow, at least I saved a lot of anger and frustration down the line.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 08:02 PM
2

Aren't there some Jewish families who would prefer someone who's born Jewish vs a convert? For example, a couple I knew in college broke up because the guy (Jew) said he could not introduce his gf (gentile) to his family because she isn't born Jewish. Apparently she was really interested in learning more about Judaism and was even involved in the Jewish club on campus, but as far as I knew, conversion was never on the table as an option. Another couple in the same situation are still going stron…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 08:32 AM
30

Men have less of a problem "stringing along" women Ugh, one of my most hated aspects of men. I do agree though. For me personally, if a guy is putting up a lot of red flags and I don't see it going anywhere, I just immediately put an end to things, while a guy in the same position would try to get whatever he can out of these women before he ultimately finds someone he likes better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 05:41 AM
57

I'm personally open to this too, but after say, 5 dates, if he's still seeking out other women for dates, it's probably not a positive thing. It means he's spent a fair bit of time with you and isn't too excited about you. He's trying to find someone better. I've never personally been in this situation, but I think I would feel turned off by this. If a dude schedules 3 first dates in the same week, it's not too bad, since rarely do first dates from OLD ever become anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 05:38 AM
2

Believe me, most girls know that guys on tinder are looking for an easy lay. We know we ain't special. I know a lot of girls who actually don't even swipe right on "super hot" guys because they know they're only there for sex (also it's guaranteed to be a boring conversation). As for deserving a "10-20% man." - I've seen a lot of women actually settle down with short, balding, or fat dudes when they themselves are fit and pretty. They usually have a lot in common though (i.e. similar cultures, j…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 03:04 AM
24

How do you gals deal with seeing or hearing about something that kind of fucks with your head for days? I saw that post here about the 42 year old man continuing to use that 22 year old for rough sex, even though he knows she has feelings for him and is depressed. It really fucked with me. I grew up pretty sheltered, in a bubble, and I hate seeing that kind of thing. I just don't want to believe that that kind of callousness exists in the world. I don't want to believe that human beings can be s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 12:35 AM
5

I hope he will too! Part of the reason so many men (and women) are messed up is because they didn't have good role models growing up. A high value dad will raise a high value son.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 10:29 PM
10

To be fair though, I have experienced sexual attraction to "good" men (i.e. men who genuinely wanted a monogamous relationship with me, were trustworthy). They were typically attractive enough and also knew how to escalate things in a hot way. But the chemistry with these "stable" guys is never going to be mind-blowing to you, because the push-pull isn't there. Hopefully after working through your own personal issues, you'll still be able to appreciate a comfortable, but genuinely positive chemi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 10:19 PM
13

Sounds like you're getting friend vibes from him. You could give it a little bit more time, but here's my take. I'm not the type of person who could ever settle. I'm looking for explosive, passionate physical energy. I might not find a good man that I could have that with, which is why I'm WGTOW. It seems like the guys who treat you best are the ones who don't have a lot of other options. It's a hard pill to swallow. I'm not saying you shouldn't settle though. If your goal in life is marriage wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 10:06 PM
4

I used to say "live and let live" when it came to FWBs and I even tried a situation like that once (very briefly - only met 4 times, which I guess was more of a fling). I now think on a societal level, it's just a manifestation of misogyny and more easily available sex to inhuman men who don't deserve it. There are individual women who enjoy it, but any woman who's not feeling 100% at her best or getting 100% of effort from her sexual partner, is going to suffer from it because it's a dynamic th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 09:45 PM
8

This man is a monster. He doesn't deserve to touch a woman, let alone a sensitive 22-year-old in pain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 09:38 PM
3

Wow, they really think like this huh? They don't at all view relationships the same way we do. It's all about, "how much can I take from this situation?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 09:26 PM
12

Doctors are notorious for having weird inferiority complexes. It's part of the reason they go for a career that has prestige and wealth associated with it. I 100% believe he's waiting for another "better" woman to make his trophy wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 09:22 PM
5

Wow that was beautiful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 09:19 PM
7

But most women ARE like this because most men are trash, so the women who settle for them will have to do some odd mental gymnastics/"compromising" (i.e. just shutting her mouth and letting dudes do what they want) to stay. We've just been in our empowerment "bubble" of FDS so we forget sometimes what the status quo actually is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 09:18 PM
24

Welcome! I love seeing young women getting introduced to FDS. I personally would have loved to have it when I was 20. I was so scared of men and dating at the time. It would helped give me the tools to navigate a world that didn't quite make sense to me. I'm no longer interested in men, but I find FDS also helps give me more confidence and empowers me to be the best woman I can be. How did you find the sub?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 08:55 PM
13

Women need to MEDITATE DAILY on this quote. I see way too many women (including me at my worst), associating their value in life with men's opinions of them. It needs to stop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 08:19 PM
1

Am I the only one who met decent guys on bumble? They asked me out, paid for everything (expensive meals), talked about how much they appreciated me, etc., and never pressured me for sex. I'd say it's actually my favorite app. Hinge was awful in comparison.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 06:55 PM
6

They're obsessed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 06:39 PM
5

I went on Hinge last year in December and then again a week ago. The difference was incredible. Within a year, guys seem to have gotten lazier and uglier. I was actually able to have decent conversations last year and this year, nope. Could be COVID related, not sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 04:39 AM
2

Yeah, exactly. I do want to mention that catching feels is something that can't be avoided sometimes, but smarter people will realize that nothing will come out of it and can move on (i.e. they know you don't have to act on your feelings).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 02:55 AM
6

It's possible, of course, but I think that smarter people in general are able to recognize their delusions more frequently than unintelligent people, which gives them the power to walk away from bad situations. Personally, I've been around intelligent women all my life due to my education/career. None of the women I met do the "omg I hope my FWB makes me his girlfriend" type of thing. It's seen as pretty juvenile and stupid. That's not to say they don't participate in hook up culture. Many of th…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 07:41 PM
0

Jeez, leave her alone
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 09:47 AM
22

Here's where I think IQ comes into play. The smarter girls will realize that there are some guys who will never be tied down. If they are the type of woman to like casual sex, she may sleep with him a few times or make him an FWB, knowing it will be nothing more. She will definitely be sleeping or seeing others in addition to him because she realizes it's dumb to chase after someone who has so many options. For the "simpler" girls, I think they genuinely feel like they can convince him that they…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 07:23 AM
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