Classic example of scrote stringing his forever girlfriend along. I hope she dumps him

CountingDownTheDays5 · 2020-10-19T13:15:40+00:00

The Top comment: He doesn’t intend to ever marry you. I’m sorry. I don’t know what advice to give you.

Me: I am not needed here I'll see my way out.

thehappiestelephant · 2020-10-19T13:09:56+00:00

He "jokingly" says he tricked her into carrying and birthing his child, which irrevocably altered her body, and legally and socially labeling their child as primarily his. Now he doesn't like the bodily changes his child required from his partner. Haha so funny /s 🙄

BasieSkanks · 2020-10-19T13:17:35+00:00

You know the second paragraph of this post where she talks about how great a partner he is? How responsible he is? How he makes her laugh and is her best friend? I feel like it’s all justification to balance out his shitty behaviour. Why do women do this? Use someone’s good qualities to justify being disrespected by them? As if that’s somehow supposed to make up for all the time she subconsciously knows she’s wasted on this man deep down inside. She’s trying to convince herself that he’s not a bad guy for disrespecting her, but he very clearly is.

pickmieshaexorcist · 2020-10-19T13:19:14+00:00

Wow, he’s just straight up clowning her at this point. That “joke” he made about her earning his proposal through weight loss reveals his true feelings. He indeed feels as though she’s not good enough for him. He’s keeping at eye out for a better option. Men will “”joke”” but there is always truth in these jokes. She needs to leave and change her child’s name to her own.

Hennyyenni · 2020-10-19T13:37:23+00:00

"This woman is the love of my life and I can't imagine being with anyone but her, so I'm not going to marry her for the better part of a decade."

- Said no man ever.

taele1996 · 2020-10-19T12:53:04+00:00

He’s sooooo not marriage material.

UmamiMamaa · 2020-10-19T14:14:14+00:00

"We'll all be the Petersons" indeed.

I said it before, I'll say it again: don't grace men with the privilege of naming your babies. YOU made the kid, s/he gets YOUR name.

foxfaebae · 2020-10-19T13:34:16+00:00

Yeah I would have left him the minute I felt the need to buy myself a ring. My LTR ex of 8 year bought me a ring once. I was happy and ignored the comment "this will make you stop asking now". Should have dumped him then.

Don't ignore the red flags! In new or long term relationships. I fully feel within the first 2-3 years of being in a relationship is when the discussion of marriage needs to happen. Followed by proposal. I think 2-3 years is a good time to determine if this is someone you want to be with forever.

Throwitaway_72946 · 2020-10-19T13:37:21+00:00

I read that, felt bad for her.

Also felt bad the trap she's fallen into, she's given him everything hoping he'll give her what she wants in return. Little does she realise, LVM are like this, they're so selfish and they'll make it seem like a woman's fault they took advantage. They don't care. He's got what he wants and knows she won't leave, so he's not going to give her more, the fact he treats it like a joke is downright cruel.

Our sisters need to be educated on standards.

Summerisle7 · 2020-10-19T13:39:36+00:00

[deleted]

SpringJonesOcean · 2020-10-19T14:46:23+00:00

She's planning to have another "conversation" with him and if he really doesn't want to get married, she'll make peace with it. Good grief.

BellaMob · 2020-10-19T14:08:07+00:00

Not only does he not want to get married, he is emotionally abusive to her and humiliated her in front of her friends. I wonder how that "complaint" from him was worded, since his friends are apologizing to him for getting engaged.

melonmagellan · 2020-10-19T14:54:11+00:00

I'd file for child support and full custody, file to change my child's last name, and ready myself for the move.

He can commute 10-hours to see his kid... Spoiler, he won't.

amievenreal99 · 2020-10-19T14:26:04+00:00

I dont even understand anymore at this point, why these girls in r/relationship_advice keep accepting this behaviour.

thinktwiceorelse · 2020-10-19T14:58:55+00:00

Ladies, here we have an example of a woman ignoring her gut feelings for years. She knows where she stands.

SpringJonesOcean · 2020-10-19T14:25:26+00:00

JFC that was so hard to read. How is he "so great" yet mocks something so important to her!?

2020-10-19T15:27:48+00:00

The scrote I am trying to escape from wasted 9 years of my life on bullshit like this. I had just escaped from a horrifyingly dangerous abusive relationship and he was there to "help me". Knew I wanted marriage, a house, to adopt, to succeed in life. 9 years later "Well like uh idk maybe I thought I wanted those things at the time but uh like I want to be with you forever I just dont think we uh need a wedding and a house"

nah bud you just go smoke weed and jerk off to facebook profile photos and Imma go get my PhD, get rich and change the world.

khaleesiqwn · 2020-10-19T16:56:11+00:00

Glad most of the commenters are telling it to her straight. One comment that stood out to me that really sums it up: “He is your world; you are his placeholder”. Oof. That hits hard :/

Alma00019 · 2020-10-19T13:15:38+00:00

This is heartbreaking.

And she has a child with him.

Sewud · 2020-10-19T16:01:04+00:00

To get the baby to have his name he told her they'd all have his name soon. Four years later she asks about it and he tells her he only said that to get the baby's name his way. This is so heartbreaking because that's what so many men are. They aren't actually considerate, it's all just a trick to try to get what they want.

I had a guy do that to me. On day one I asked him if he smoked and did drugs. He told me "no never". He would then not smoke or do drugs in front of me so I had no way to know. A year later I hear him cough in the bathroom and eventually it becomes apparent that he's hiding to get stoned every time we hang out.

Summerisle7 · 2020-10-19T15:35:01+00:00

[deleted]

chasingconfidence · 2020-10-19T13:07:43+00:00

Damn. I feel horrible for her. I'd buy her a glass of wine, if I knew her.

The chances of this man marrying her are in the single digits. She needs to give him an ultimatum and mean it. She also needs to be preparing to move back to her hometown.

This is main reason why you don't have children or live together prior to marriage. It is also another example of why you should end a relationship if he isn't talking marriage in the 6 months-1 year.

Izzy4162305 · 2020-10-19T16:23:31+00:00

The comments are MINDBLOWING. Person after person telling her what she surely already knows inside: he isn’t going to marry her. Ever. And she does these unbelievable mental gymnastics to try and excuse him and his negging and jerking around. And then there are those random comments like “But not all of us! Some of us DO want to get married after dragging our feet for a decade,” and it doesn’t occur to them that unlike her scrote, they might not have been as mentally abusive.

Knitter-of-Data · 2020-10-19T18:44:05+00:00

Ugh ugh ugh. I worked in a perinatal support program for teen moms for many years and every time they’d tell me they gave baby the dad’s name my heart would just sink, and when they’d say EXACTLY what she said here “he says we’re getting married eventually so this will be easier” or worse “my friend told me if the baby has his name he’ll take care of it / love it / love me...” 😥 Nope. All lies. You are being used. He is NOT your best friend. 😥

laserkatze · 2020-10-19T14:20:30+00:00

SIS NO

WHY DID YOU GIVE YOUR CHILD HIS NAME

werker115 · 2020-10-19T15:05:51+00:00

I don’t understand why men will have kids with a woman but won’t marry them..it’s an even bigger commitment imo.

GIfuckingJane · 2020-10-19T18:35:06+00:00

Her: am I a joke to you?

Him: Yes

hilariouslystated · 2020-10-19T16:06:03+00:00

He's not planning on marrying her. Not now, not ever. And she had a baby with that nasty scrote too. Ouch. Let's normalize not giving birth for scrotes who haven't put a ring on it first.

SpringJonesOcean · 2020-10-19T16:00:50+00:00

Yikes, she got defensive in the comments and turned herself inside out to defend and explain his behavior.

Then deleted her original question.

BasieSkanks · 2020-10-19T15:15:06+00:00

I’m somewhat ambivalent about marriage, but I would never be with a man who made it clear he didn’t want to marry me. This man has told this poor lady in about 100 different ways that he doesn’t want to marry her. I hope she moves on from him.

laranocturnal · 2020-10-19T16:01:58+00:00

I’m not contemplating leaving if we don’t get married. I said I am concerned he would now only be proposing so that I don’t leave him, that his reasoning is not because he wants to marry me, but that he doesn’t want to lose me.

Wyd?

If op gets some self-respect and leaves, she's sure going to be crushed when immediately marries the next girl he dates.

ComprehensiveCatch46 · 2020-10-19T18:02:07+00:00

He’s stringing her along and has no desire to marry her after 7 years. He’s cruel, unkind & insensitive. She can do much better. He probably does not see the value of marrying her because he’s become comfortable & settled - they have a child, a house, a dog & all the benefits of being married, that married people have, without an actual marriage. I hope she finds the strength to leave him.

straighthairgreece · 2020-10-19T18:15:26+00:00

It seems like women and men have forgotten the purpose behind dating. You date to end up with a life long partner. This is why you date as much people as you can. This is why you are single until he makes a commitment. This is why you don't put all your eggs in one basket! You need to weed out men that don't have the same goals as you.

She wanted the security and protection a marriage can give her yet gave away all the benefits he could have received by marrying her. She invested in him and he didn't return the favor.

Danigirl_03 · 2020-10-19T15:50:35+00:00

I lived this for almost 5 years. I feel her pain hadn’t bought together and my daughter was just mine.

But I knew deep down I wanted marriage and there was always a reason and an excuse. I want a simple elopement in a national park with my daughter there and a nice meal after. Weddings to me are a big party and incredibly expensive so spending lots of money on one wouldn’t be my priority.

There was always a reason and excuse. I want an antique or antique style ring. Max cost $3k even if you go completely custom. And nope why something that cheap why not big and fancy.

There was a bunch of other reasons, his mask took longer to slip than most and the rose tinted glasses came off.

I will never ever move in with someone without an engagement firmly discussed and planned. And minimum of 2 years exclusive dating. Ideally engagement ring on hand before move in. I also won’t buy property with anyone I’m not married to. My last relationship and knowing I’d stopped betting and checking and has dropped my standards was one of the biggest factors in me finding FDS.

AnniaT · 2020-10-19T18:15:55+00:00

This guy is an asshole who's stringing her along and fooling her on purpose for sure, but why do women move in, buy houses and have children with men they're not married to while wanting to marry them? This man never wanted to marry her, yet she's done all this before marriage wanting to marry him and keeps on giving him wife benefits without the marriage it self which he fully knows she wants and won't give it to her anyway and never even proposed in 7 years. Makes no sense.

lisasimpsonfan · 2020-10-19T20:21:20+00:00

I never understand why women have children with men who won't commit to them. If he won't commit before you have a kid then he is not going to commit after.

pushoverpushesback · 2020-10-19T15:03:39+00:00

Oh no. I went to look at the thread and saw she had replied to several comments. It isn't looking good. She's basically willing to make peace with it if he is honest and says he doesn't want marriage, and that she won't give him an ultimatum bc she doesn't want to blow up their relationship.

He isn't even considering her the same way she considers him.

PollyAnnaSunshine · 2020-10-19T15:37:51+00:00

This man is a stone cold piece of shit asshole. She should take the child and move back near her family support system. His comments are verbally abusive and full of contempt for her. She sounds like a lovely person who can do much better.

suncolor · 2020-10-19T16:02:43+00:00

The name part was really sad because I can’t understand why she just didn’t give her child her own name, at least hyphenate?

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2020-10-19T21:55:21+00:00

If its just her name on the house, kick him out. If he pays but his name isn't on the house, put it up for sale, find another place, don't tell him about what you're doing, and move.

Next, change the kid's last name to your maiden name. You never got married so why would they need to have his last name?

And if he starts trying to marry you fucking reject him and stick to your plan because it's all just one more ploy to add to the list.

Once you get your head on straight and show him you can leave him, they stumble over themselves like a newborn fawn trying to get you back under their thumb.🙄

NineOneNineOneNine · 2020-10-19T21:53:20+00:00

Once I had a dream where an old woman asked me ‘Do you know why you’re not married yet?’

I’ve always pondered the meaning of this. I see this woman often in my dreams like she’s an oracle or guide. But now I know why, it’s because I hadn’t read this sub yet.

At least my kid has my last name. I told the guy that if he wanted to change our names, that he knew how to do that. I dodged a bullet.

yolosunshine · 2020-10-19T21:37:27+00:00

I feel pain reading this.

She deserves so much more after so much nonsense.

This is probably financial stuckness, but either way she needs to find a way to leave him.

Waste-Win · 2020-10-19T16:40:25+00:00

I feel sad for her, honestly this man would never marry her, and his so called qualities seems BS to me, someone that truly loves wouldn't disrespect you, If he would be half as good as she makes him look He would've be honest from the start about how He don't intend to get married.

SamuelaTheThrifty · 2020-10-19T17:32:15+00:00

Why do men do this again?

-badmadAM · 2020-10-20T10:16:26+00:00

It is her, SHE is the joke to him. Alone her very valid reason that she wants the same family- name as her kid (wtf ladies, you are birthing your kids, why would you willingly have them the surname of your male partner but not yours in the first place?). He doesn't even respect THAT? This is just wow and extremely callous. Get out.

Please please, can we have the next generation of women have a bit more pride and backbone when it comes to males? Never forget to educate your girls, give them good examples and counter the stupid brainwashing she is receiving since birth, this effort is more worth than putting all your time into educating a grown man to be decent. If he isn't so naturally by now all you are going to teach him, if you even are successful at all, is how to fake it.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-10-19T15:24:38+00:00

"he's such a great guy" goes on to describe his utter disdain for her, how he plays her, how he lies to her face, and then laughs in it.

the shocking part at the end is that she believes if she leaves him she'll be able to move home with her child. You gave that child his last name, on top of you in a civil marriage with this ass, no judge is going to let you to move away.

cryingintomycoffee · 2020-10-20T01:33:52+00:00

I saw this one earlier... y’all, she thought she needed a ring, but she really needs FDS. Someone save her!!!

ResponsibleRich · 2020-10-20T13:32:03+00:00

No ring, no womb! IF you want to get married, NEVER give a boyfriend wife privileges!

m00n5t0n3 · 2020-10-23T03:52:06+00:00

Ugh poor lady, I wish she gave her son her last name...

Title	Classic example of scrote stringing his forever girlfriend along. I hope she dumps him
Author	GrapeJuiceEnthusiast
Upvotes	529
Comments	199
Date	October 19, 2020 12:45 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/je0ys3/classic_example_of_scrote_stringing_his_forever/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/classic-example-of-scrote-stringing-his-forever.320265 https://theredarchive.com/post/320265

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