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tallwomenneedlovetoo Archive

View 4 posts and 514 comments by tallwomenneedlovetoo on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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184

Are you…me? I too hate egg yolks. Fried, runny, over easy, eggs Benedict…all of it. I hate them. People also assume I must be a picky eater. Men- and it is MEN- always have something to say about anything women do. And it is a supreme sign that a man is a LVM if upon hearing how you want your steak, lamb, or eggs, furiously works overtime to convince you that your brain, which receives signals directly from your mouth, is actually incorrect about what your preferences are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 09:04 PM
52

Yup! That’s the same one I saw and was talking about as well! Let’s not forget his teeny tiny head. He’s not nearly good looking enough for him to even begin entertaining the idea of this bs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 03:45 AM
154

I think I saw that if she’s the blonde who was saying that she thinks about making him happy every moment of every day and asked for them to stop filming when they asked the sex with other women question! If it was that one, the poor woman also clearly got talked into those ginormous breasts. He literally wants a bangmaid. He wants her to dress how he wants, cook him every meal, fuck him on demand, and let every other woman fuck him too. Just watching him pick out her clothing based on sex appea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 01:12 AM
37

Heyyyyyyy, fellow indoor queen and pillowtop princess. 👋🏾 Good call. Men who try to change you before they even meet you in person are the ducking worst.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 04:25 PM
65

I hate being outdoors for anything beyond a 3 hr hike to a waterfall. Hate bugs, hate dirt, hate moving my body, hate getting nervous of bears and moose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 04:23 PM
34

You have to start with a man who isn’t just not disgusting but is a clean person with good hygiene. No “bachelor pad” men with pizza boxes and dirty dishes stacked up when you first meet. If he doesn’t take care of his own spaces without a woman, he’s not going to get better after. And it’s just a bandaid to get a housekeeper when you keep regular hours/have shifts with enough rest time. When my friends who still work in Big Law are working 6 am to 9 pm and their spouses are doing the same or wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 04:21 PM
313

AHHHHHH. He thought 🤣🤣🤣 He’s probably punching the air and crying. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: men get us pregnant to have a hold on us. It’s typically about control.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 01:58 PM
73

Ditto. Hubby’s taste in art is…questionable. Nothing lewd but very very new age and absurdist. He’s free to enjoy that in his office but it ain’t goin’ in my living room. I’ve also taken up all the closets, plus converted a spare bedroom upstairs for a casual closet/hangout room for my girlfriends, complete with wine fridge, so he also gets to do his super industrial and modern clothing racks in there. In the rest of the house, we’ve reached a suitable compromise but our separate places are as t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 01:50 PM
147

insert Gretchen Weiners gif Oh, honey, no… Even just thinking about it LoGiCaLly, which men like this swear they’re so great at, why should he marry her? She’s playing married, giving him street cred at work (men with families make more $$ and get promoted more often), opened her womb TWICE, likely gave the kids his last name, paying bills around the house, has told him she’s ready to wait for him indefinitely…what bargaining power does she even have left? He knows he can walk all over her and s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 04:00 AM
51

I’ve said it before on this sub, but it bears repeating: as someone who has done many divorces and many custody mods, step-mommy gets the better deal than step-dad. Step-dad actually parents the kids because the vast majority of the time, they’re with mom. And dad is going to do everything in his power to villainize the man who provides for his children strictly because he can’t fuck their mom anymore. 90% of men get, but more importantly explicitly request, the sweetheart deal of every other we…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 06:52 PM
45

Especially the police are rapists. Never forget that they rape women and children in custody but aren’t held responsible because they “consent” despite there being an obvious power difference which the legal system obviously recognizes in teachers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 05:09 PM
43

Husband and I have been together nearly 15 years. In that time, I’ve never once been disappointed on a special occasion. It wasn’t always trips, bags, and jewelry, but even when we were poor (>20k p/year as students) he made a way to make my birthday special. Now we make a pretty substantial amount of money, so my expectations have changed. Every birthday, wedding, and marriage anniversary, he takes me on a trip. I love love love trip planning and hate the anticipation of surprises, so he’ll giv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 11:08 PM
2

Like…girl, you’re digging a big ass grave here. First, African =/= African American. And if you’re talking about African American men, which I surmised from your other comment, then NO, it’s a very matrilineal culture with an emphasis on men being raised by mother and grandmothers (who might then instill false senses of self worth and misogyny but that’s altogether a different issue). It’s very much giving white woman, fake-woke and culturally deaf feminism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 10:32 PM
104

This is the type of man who says “she was asking for it!” when a woman is assaulted. Holy shit. I couldn’t imagine being with someone who pressed for a sex act that I don’t like to the point where we have to lay out boundaries. And this is why I hate that Consent Is Sexy shit. Consent isn’t sexy, it’s positively necessary. Spinning it as sexy implies that it’s a bonus that isn’t required to move forward with any sexual encounter. As if we need another layer of bullshittery for men to use double-…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 02:44 PM
127

This is why you don’t marry children. He’s not responsible enough to keep enough money to pay his own bills so how could he possibly do anything other than drag her quality of life down? He’s a dependent that has a huge likelihood of abusing her if she keeps sticking up for herself. The bright side is, that as long as they’re in the US and she files soon, there’s not much, if anything, she’ll have to pay out for. They don’t have any shared assets at this point and don’t seem to be in an income b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 02:45 PM
23

Just because a man in HV, doesn’t mean that he’s the HV man for you. And honestly, he doesn’t seem all that HV to be honest with you. A HV man doesn’t need to be nagged on anything, let alone his personal health. We do not preach “stay with the comfortable man” at all. FDS is ANTI settling for some dude just to say that we have a man, no matter the dubious quality of the man. And finally, THIS is the sort of situation we avoid and I preach to avoid as a former divorce attorney. Never never never…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 02:28 PM
31

Lawyers are paid liars and master manipulators. We literally go to school to learn how to best gaslight facts in our favor. It’s damn rare to find any attorney, let alone a male attorney, who hesitates to use that knowledge in their favor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 09:01 PM
387

If it’s one thing men have, it’s the fucking audacity. And if it’s one thing black men have, it’s unwashed, unwanted, and unsolicited opinions about how black women carry themselves. And all the while, their useless asses are unemployed or underemployed and absolutely NOT volunteering a dime toward the expensive, painful and time-consuming upkeep on weaves, wigs and relaxers that they have the unmitigated gall to demand that we provide to get their peepees hard. TUH!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 10:56 PM
455

This is why it’s a major red flag (and deserves an immediate dump IMO) when you have a disagreement with a man and misspell or mispronounce a word that simple context clues can lead you to and he jumps into the middle of your sentence and corrects you condescendingly/mockingly. It’s a sign that he thinks he’s your intellectual superior who was literally sitting there hoping you’d mess up to correct you and “””derail””” your, probably very valid, point with pedantic nonsense. Shut your mouth/exit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 05:33 PM
27

It sounds like he needs a guidance counselor or a big brother from the Boys and Girls Club 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 10:17 PM
22

Communication is literally anything that shares any information. If I ask you if it’s raining and you shake your wet umbrella, you communicated that to me without a single word. In my opinion, not disguising your true feelings in this way to save someone else’s feelings is one of the best ways to communicate and have a true relationship. How will your father know that his behavior towards you is unacceptable if he doesn’t firsthand see the ramifications of treating you that way? If my spouse did…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 04:01 PM
279

This is what happens when teachers, parents, movies, and actual cable network after-school specials tell boys that they should always ask out the hot girl because she’s probably secretly attracted to a fat, poorly dressed, ugly schlub like them. Think about Jonah Hill going after Emma Stone in Superbad. They get brainwashed into thinking they can be the Seth Rogen to a legion of actual models who think their gross antics are adorable begging after them. Dis 👏🏾 gos 👏🏾 ting 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾 90 Day Fiancé …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 03:48 PM
10

I think it depends. When I was in private practice, my name, photo and bio were all over the website and social media for anyone who just googled my name. And it really wasn’t an option as we had mandatory headshot days. Same with my law school and sorority alumni pages. I have a veeeeery unique name that sounds somewhat similar to “tallwomen” so it’s a breeze to look me up. And as a result, I actually had a stalker who called my boss’s boss for hours for a couple weeks but she was just a loon t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 12:17 AM
64

The original woman is a mega MAGA Trumper. 🤢 She supports the original pussy grabber, so of course she thinks women owe men anything but our scorn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 04:51 PM
62

I was leaving high school when I started watching a similar channel, Roosterteeth, towards its beginning, I believe. It was pretty short lived but I remembered the name. When the grooming that R did came out this past year. I wasn’t surprised. I don’t have any surprise for any of these celeb “bombshells” when it comes out they were trying to rape minors. I’m saying this with my chest y’all: I do not believe that there are any good quality, high value men who achieve fame on social media or socia…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 09:07 PM
40

Careful with the Teams chats! Our HR department has had a field day with sexual harassment and inappropriate workplace conduct because people keep treating it like Snapchat/MSN chat. I have no doubt that he has been inappropriate with you, but do your best to be standoff-ish and professional in chats from now on as if he crosses a line and you rightfully go to HR, they may be able to pull your chats and see something that they will do their best to construe as “a history of playful banter”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 05:25 PM
47

Lawyers are so fucking skeevy that we had to make professional ethics rules specifically about NOT using sex as payment for services and also about how it’s okay to continue to sleep with clients as long as the relationship started before the representation. And even then, that rule only came in around 2002 in the US. 🤮 Conversely, doctors, social workers, psychiatrists and other medical professionals including massage therapists have ALWAYS had that bar on the patients themselves and their fami…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 01:14 PM
6

Once she tatted his face on her body, it was a done deal that she was a pick me. Tattoos themselves aren’t low value but it’s gonna be a haaaaard hole of misogyny to climb out of once you publicly announce a man’s ownership of you by getting his visage permanently put on your body.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 08:24 PM
13

I love when men try to explain themselves to me in my inbox. It’s hilarious. It just shows how disgusting and entitled men are. These guys hopping in your dms feel entitled to you, your mind, and your viewpoints and it upsets them to the nth degree when you post anything that isn’t pro-scrote and scrote-adjacent propaganda. It shows how weak and sniveling they are, that they come to try to tell you, a internet stranger, that your opinion about them is wrong. Like, sir, please go do something mor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 06:02 PM
62

It’s so pervasive in women’s spaces. Like...I don’t get why they think it’s so cute/funny to have a spouse trying to run you like they’re your parent??? I go on Etsy for a new spring door mat and at the top there’s a mat that says “hide packages from husband.” 🤢 I go to buy a fishnet bodysuit from SavageXFenty for my City Girl Summer TM wardrobe and the reviews say “I love this but myyyyyyy husband would never let me wear this outside.” 🤢 Or when I invited my coworkers out on a Saturday night pr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 03:34 PM
10

In addition to the very valid and accurate things everyone has already said, usually the local DA, solicitor, and public defender offices have a list of local women and children’s shelters and resources that they can give you. From there, you can call the individual ones that speak to you up and ask what they need and how to give.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 02:21 PM
10

Sorry I’m late! I don’t know what state you’re in but in most states, a child can make an election as to what they’d like their custody arrangement to be once they reach a certain age, which is usually 13/14/15. It doesn’t override the judge’s determination of what’s in the best interest of the child but by that age, a judge generally will defer to the child. So, there’d be no reason to really have to go too in-depth about why. However, yes, that’d be a reason to modify custody. Beware, though. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 05:20 AM
64

ABSOLUTELY SPOT ON! Feminism is intersectional and one cannot examine this tragedy without knowing the history of the sexualized racial violence that women of Asian & Pacific Islander descent have suffered for hundreds of years in this country. Think about how often you’ve heard that stupid “sideways vagina” joke growing up. Or how often you hear gross neck beard scrotes extolling Asian women for being “submissive” or “subservient” as though Asian women are a monolith. If you live in ATL, my hus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 02:41 PM
98

I haaaaate it when men do the whole “doing housework is sexy” thing. It’s not. It’s not sexy. Be a grown man. Wipe your ass and wash your own fucking clothes without having to convince yourself that doing so will get you laid. Do it because you’re a functioning human being and your wife/gf is not your goddamn maid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 09:23 PM
38

Woooow. Okay. Not that uncommon, btw. I don’t know what country you’re in, but in most of the world plural marriages are known as void. Meaning they are not valid and can’t have their invalidity cured. In the states, he’s not married to her. He’s shacking up with her. Bigamy is a felony in every state but Utah and federally illegal. If you were to file for divorce right now, you would have an excellent claim for all properties they may have acquired together since he left. If you wait until he d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 07:54 PM
61

So, it depends. I’ve discussed prenups a few times but hitting the basics right quick: If your home is already paid for in full, then feel free to set it to the side and buy a new one together OR charge him rent to live in it. If you’re making payments on the house, it gets trickier because, depending on the state, all money that comes in at the date of marriage is marital money. 99x out of 100 you’re always entitled to the equity you built prior to the marriage but any subsequent equity is subj…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 01:06 PM
12

Wookie has the basics down! Look to your divorce decree or child custody agreement. If your attorney(s) were worth their salt, they put in a distance provision that states how far you can move away in miles from the court and/or the other parent without having to notify or petition the court. Out of state is a little different and you’ll usually always have to ask the court for permission and/or notify them and the other party well in advance to the move. If custody is split 50/50, this can turn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 12:58 PM
11

So this depends on your state. I know in Texas, there are several funds that are set up to help with transportation/access to abortions in the state as well as legal funds to obtain judicial bypasses if you’re a minor. Planned Parenthoods also have access to non-medical transportation (NMT) that can be scheduled them as well. The PP in my metro area has an emphasis on the abortion pills so that you are ambulatory and can take it at your leisure as well. Your best bet is to call and see as your m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 12:51 PM
157

If a man wants children, he’ll bring it up. Men aren’t exactly coy. They’ll let you know either overtly or in subtle terms, like “I wouldn’t want to raise kids here because it’s in a bad school district” or “I’d love to teach my child how to play baseball.” You don’t want to give them the opportunity to start future faking by giving him the roadmap of how to be the person he thinks you want. As to your second point, it’s up to you and your circumstances. If it’s important to you to have him pay …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 01:54 AM
53

I made a post! Thanks for encouraging me! I know it’s an anonymous website but I just always get that niggling fear that nobody cares what I have to say that’s left over from being called a bossy know-it-all during my whole academic career leading up to law school.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 09:43 PM
53

I just made a post. If you need help covering the cost of an abortion, reach out to your local planned parenthood, they WILL help you. Do NOT ever call those “pregnant and scared” billboards. Those are from churches who will try to guilt you into motherhood/adoption. And if worse comes to worse, put it on your emergency credit card which should be ONLY in your name.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 09:41 PM
598

Advice to every woman here, including those lurking from an attorney in the states who has handled divorce and family violence cases extensively: Never ever tell anyone that you’re pregnant unless you are 100% keeping the baby and you depend only on yourself for e v e r y t h i n g. That includes your mother and father. And I did say KEEPING the baby. If you choose to get an abortion, this advice goes double, even years down the line. Seek therapy groups but be wary of ever informing your relati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:02 PM
40

I’ve said this to my sweet friends over and over again: These men work in complex lines of work where they use their noggins to make inferences and they all clearly have deductive reasoning skills to have made it this far in life. They own homes, pay bills, work, get promotions and make contracts like real functioning people. So HOW are you justifying to me why some man is too stupid to get why his actions upset you? Men who spout that cOmMuNiCaTe shit are looking for plausible deniability when …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 05:39 PM
58

UPDATE! These shitty good ol’ boy cops just tried to justify this animal’s behavior by bringing up the fact that they were sex parlors and said the locations were “a temptation he wanted to eliminate” and saying he had “a really bad day” They’re literally pieces of human garbage doing what I thought they would. They’re shifting the blame to the 7 women for being “temptations” to him instead of blaming the murdering POS. I H A T E it here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 06:01 PM
41

Deeeeeef not a hero, lol. You just happened to bring up the one thing I’ve decided that my life’s work is dedicated to. I spend probably too much company time talking about the evils of sex work, both legalized and not, around the world on the internet and how it intersects (or should I say, FAILS to intersect) with our current wave of feminism, which I lovingly call white woman feminism. You also might remember me as the annoying link to statistics and foreign stories person from Gender Crit as…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 04:47 PM
67

Oh absolutely. I volunteer in DV and Human Trafficking Recovery on the legal side apart from my day legal job (I’ve mentioned it before on this sub but not recently), which means family reunification and pressing charges where warranted/necessary. Theoretically, I agree with you however, in practice, I simply do not. I’ve seen great families that supported their girls when found and I’ve seen some not-so-great families that believed their daughters (never encountered a son) were worthless follow…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 04:09 PM
30

I am too! The shooting ITP took place in Buckhead, which is a very well-to-do area with a Dior, Tiffany’s and Gucci literally down the street. Definitely not somewhere that you’d think about any kind of violence happening, even in ATL. We were out picking up an early dinner and had absolutely no clue what happened until we got home and turned on the news.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 03:42 PM
24

We have that guy too!😫 He’s still walking around in his dusty ass MAGA hat being drug around by his two snarling, ill-behaved Pitt mutts. 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 03:36 PM
151

He was way too quick because he held all the power in the relationship. And he r e l i s h e d it. She was stuck as soon as she moved in. She couldn’t take a shit without his say-so. When you depend on a man to the extent of being a SAHM without the benefit of marriage, you’re doing worse than playing the lottery because there’s no possibility of winning. He’s GLEEFUL about throwing her and the son he’s been playing daddy to for 8 years out on the street with nothing to her name. And they’ll lik…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 03:33 PM
89

Honestly, I’m somewhat conflicted about how I feel about them glossing over it. On the one hand, I live in this religious cesspool and I know that the moment they mention that these women were more than likely sex workers, the victim blamers will be crawling out of the wood work to justify these people (all but 1 were women) being murdered. And that’s disgraceful to their memory and their loved ones who deserve to mourn in peace. On the other hand, if sex work is work, as so many state, then the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 03:23 PM
29

Ma’am. Men don’t care about their OWN kids in divorces aside from how they can be used to hurt the mother of the child. And I’ve seen this first hand as both counsel and opposing counsel of men in divorce cases. Ofc they don’t care about a stranger’s baby. I genuinely believe that if it were socially acceptable, they’d k*ll and/or cast off any kids not of the union, like certain species in the animal kingdom do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 03:14 PM
37

That part! Rights for white men =/= rights for the rest of us. Just because it’s textually legal for us to open carry the way white people do, does not mean that carries over into practice. I saw too much during my brief stint working in the criminal side of the courthouse to believe any different. It’s a sad truth. But a civil payout and NDA from your city will never bring back a father, sister, or cousin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 03:10 PM
195

Not to get too too deep into it. But I was about a block away from one of the locations when this racist POS shot it up. I live in the Dirty South where people often say, “the only thing that defeats a bad guy with a gun, is a good guy with a gun!” But I can say with all my heart, as a non-ambiguously black woman who works and lives in predominantly white areas, nothing frightens me more than a white man shopping at the Whole Foods or Kroger with a gun openly on his hip. I don’t feel safe; I fee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 02:56 PM
29

A true HVM is going to be an asset to your entire life. Instead of carrying the knowledge that I have to do 100% of everything, I know that I will need to do maybe 40% of most things. I’ve got a partner who will spontaneously leave the house early to fill up my car so I can sleep in an extra 15 minutes before leaving for work and handle difficult tasks that I may not have the spoons to do to mitigate my stress when he can see my mental health declining. Who sees that the house needs cleaning/mai…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 02:43 PM
108

The Greeks were also the ones that practiced pederasty aka socially condoned forced homosexual pedophilia 🤮. Men are just fucking vile. Raping anything they can get their disgusting, depraved hands on that isn’t nailed to the ground. And even then, they’ll just lube it up and rub off on it 😒😒😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 07:54 PM
29

Precisely! I sent the meme of the man with an Afro shooting someone in a chair, then turning around because that’s the exact vibe everyone involved in that hot mess was putting out. I’m not super meme savvy, so I hope you know which one I’m referencing lol I’VE BEEN INFORMED THAT IT IS IN FACT AN ERIC ANDRE MEME.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 07:37 PM
86

THANK YOU! I had a colleague send a video in a group chat that was “refuting” male privilege. I swiftly rebutted every topic the man brought up such as “men are in prison more” “men are murdered more” “men are killed most in wars” and “men carry most debt,” with the the facts that men commit more AND more violent crimes, men are the typically the ones killing other men, women weren’t even permitted to serve as soldiers in the armed forces until the 20th century and women in the US couldn’t even …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 07:02 PM
126

One of my former friends’ useless, Trump adoring husbands once said that to me. I asked him what kind of compliments he’d been giving if he thought he could get arrested for them. He had no actual answer. This is one of those tactics where men feign incompetency to get out of doing something. Oh, saying “let me motorboat your ginormous knockers” is out??? Well then, you can bet your bottom dollar that I’ll never give another woman a single, non-sexual compliment like “excellent presentation, Sar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 02:02 PM
5

I think it depends on the couple. I don’t drink aside from a glass of cab sav once or twice a year because I just don’t like the taste of alcohol. My spouse is a scotch connoisseur who likes to consume a lowball from one of the bottles in his collection while watching his films from time to time and also likes trying weird craft beers if he sees them at the farmer’s market. We don’t really drink together come to think of it, either as an activity or a habit so I wouldn’t care either way. But, he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 02:52 PM
104

In my experience, it IS largely cultural. I’m black, raised in a black family and household. Though I’m an only child, my extended family had lots of boys. In the black community, boys are treated like gold and never have to lift a finger and are allowed to stay out/go out whenever they want. Little black girls get called fast if they wear shorts above the knee and are told they have to maintain a household, perform like a p0rn star, and manage the kids while also serving the man from like 11 ye…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 07:03 PM
91

I had a fellow IRL FDS attorney colleague shut down a (also an attorney, graduated in the same year I did) man playing devil’s advocate in her comment section RE: fatphobia the other day. And it warmed the cockles of my cold little heart when she and a few other friends collectively told him to fuck off for debating fat women’s right to exist. I don’t debate a few things with men: my blackness, my femininity, my education, and my right to humanity. And I beseech you all to shut that shit down at…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 06:56 PM
45

Legally, the benefits are just easier to obtain in one fell swoop by getting married, but you could technically get most benefits by hiring a lawyer to do your dirty work. 1) Inheritance - can take care of most things. Just pay to get an ironclad will 2) Hospitalization - get an advance directive drafted but just know that in some states/places, they may not let the other in to see one of you’re on your deathbed 3) Tax benefits - nothing you can do to trick the IRS, sadly. You either are or you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 02:48 PM
595

It’s the same reason that men apply for and get jobs that they’re supremely unqualified for. Men are immensely entitled to everything around them. And the world around us just accepts that entitlement as par for the course. ETA: I give not one single, solitary shit about the opinions of unwashed, uneducated men who get their little fee-fees hurt cuz I don’t like them. 💅🏾Go cry to your mommy ‘bout it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 02:05 PM
6

I have a similar set up with my husband. He knows there’s a pretty good sum of money somewhere in the ether that I have access to. Same for my car. Same with the bank accounts, etc. A HVM won’t have a problem with you taking out an insurance policy on your relationship. After all, if nothing goes wrong, what skin is it off his nose?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 08:08 PM
77

This is so disgusting and victim blame-y towards women as a whole. They’re asking us to sacrifice the humanity and dignity of all the unwitting and unwilling participants of sex work so we can be perhaps .0001% safer. But there is 0 evidence of that fact. Twitter users are some of the stupidest, fake woke, talking-confidently-but-directly-out-of-their-assholes, ass numbskulls on this planet Men don’t r@pe because they want sex or are aroused. It’s about exerting power over something that can’t m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 12:39 PM
123

If she came to my firm, I’d let her cry it out (discounting 15 mins of the consult) then carefully ask her “how would your workload be lessened if he/you moved out?” And wait for her to reach the correct conclusion From the outside looking in, we can clearly see that her life would be better single as she wouldn’t be cleaning up after two grown people, would get scheduled time for self-care during his custodial weekends, would know whoever is taking care of her baby is actually giving him adequa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 03:28 PM
14

I know in the US, but she said “flat” and I realized she may live in the UK, which recognizes partners more readily than the US does, or some other country that calls them that instead of condos/apartments. I’m tryna do my best to not be so US centric since so many of us in this sub are in different countries tries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 01:03 AM
118

That’s his wife. You cannot convince me beyond a reasonable doubt that they aren’t married. And even if they aren’t actually married, he’s married to the idea of going back to her. Girl, if you don’t go on somewhere and let that man cheat on her with someone else so you can live in harmony and peace with someone that actually likes you. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 10:09 PM
71

I definitely wouldn’t recommend it for anyone. At 22 turning 23, I was graduating from law school and my husband had already been at his 1st high earning tech job for a year and a half. And we bought our first house at 24. We’ve always been career-minded and driven people (graduated from undergrad at 19 and 20) and looked at marriage from a business viewpoint as well. And at 30 turning 31, we’ve accumulated a lot of wealth that will make it possible for us to retire much earlier than our peers w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 05:36 PM
143

Sooooo much more. And it’s always young girls who allow their education to suffer. I knew so many intelligent girls from high school who chose to go to the local community college to stay with their D- boyfriends over going to the top schools they got into. Inversely, there were a few guys who got into Harvard and Princeton in school. As soon as they did their signings (they were all sports stars,) they broke up with their devoted girlfriends who had been wearing the guys’ letterman jackets. No …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 03:51 PM
363

Speaking as someone from the Deep South where getting married at 21 is the norm- Don’t. Do. It. Young marriage typically doesn’t work out because there’s so much growing and evolving you need to do, ladies. You don’t want some man dragging you away from achieving your dreams like Corey dragged Topanga from going to freakin YALE to go to a middling state school just to be with him. I never got over that, even as a child watching Boy Meets World, lol. Single women are so ambitious. You can pick up…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 01:46 PM
177

And that attitude is double-dump worthy once you’re engaged or married. If my husband ever made ball-and-chain jokes or said he wished he was single, I’d have no problem letting him know that it’s just one filing away and I’d be happy to call in a former coworker or two to do the honors. My company- all of our company- is a pleasure and a privilege. No man has the right to take any of us for granted and especially not disrespect us by making “jokes” about not wanting us. It’s negging meant to lo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 01:32 PM
275

Whew chile. So he can’t differentiate between literate and illiterate. AND he doesn’t see the irony in him saying that literally while texting words
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 01:08 AM
61

Idk why men feel like they have to compete with sex toys. Like why do they feel so antagonistic toward something that in practice can be incredibly erotic and increase the pleasure for both partners? Perhaps TMI, but my spouse knows it takes me a while to orgasm with manual stimulation (THANKS antidepressants) and as a result has researched and provided several incredible sex toys so that we’re not rubbing me down there for hours until I get sore. He doesn’t want to enjoy/have sex if I don’t enj…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 10:03 PM
70

Um. He has a mama, 2 sisters, a best friend annnnd a therapist. I’m not a Pokémon who’s gonna evolve if you put dominance tokens into me. I’m his spouse. While I cannot see the race of this poster, this kind of thing is prevalent in the black community and evokes, at least in me, the notorious Maya Angelou clip where she tells a young woman who called her by her first name to respect her by calling her “Miss Angelou” as she is her mother, teacher, sister, professor, etc. So, the phrasing simply …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 06:23 PM
21

And it’s so strange they think that way, because people can recognize that having someone in the house who constantly provokes and instigates arguments with a family member is a toxic behavior in a family home. People make memes (pardon the weird 4chan frog but this is the meme I always see posted about this issue) about how peaceful home life is up until the parent that always starts fight comes back and starts something. So WHY would you willingly choose a partner that gives you those same fee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 05:59 PM
91

I’m reaaaaally tired of this nonsense that I’m always seeing about a relationship being stronger because a couple constantly fights. I’ve had a friend tell me her toxic relationship is stronger than my calm, pleasant one because my husband and I do not argue about anything. We may have differing opinions about 2-3x a year on serious subjects and may try to persuade one another but we do not get angry or raise our voices at one another. A strong stable relationship should NOT be rife with fightin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 05:32 PM
19

Coming from a legal perspective, I believe it’s because the sexual age of consent in Japan is 13. Big fuckin 🤢 btw. It’s obviously reprehensible but we do allow children to enter the commerce stream in pretty much every country in a somewhat limited capacity. So I think it’s a combination of it being seen as acceptable for children to sell items to earn money and also that sexually, in Japan, children at that age aren’t necessary considered “children” for that purpose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 02:19 PM
44

I have a friend whose bf, after they lived together, moved 3-ish hours away for a job and now they only see each other 2 weekends (Friday night to Sunday at 12pm) a month. He proooooomised to visit every weekend and FaceTime every night but of course that’s fallen completely off to a couple mins chitchat of just regular calling 3-4x a week. I honestly believe he starts arguments with her every few weeks to get a break from her. Meanwhile she’s 25 and his big grown ass is 32. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 06:41 PM
69

Everyone I’ve ever met who is married to a man like that gets 1) Chlamydia, 2) A side baby, or 3) boffum. Truckers are notoriously bad and there’s even a slang term for the prostitutes they chase after: lot lizards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 06:32 PM
145

HIM!?? He said that? This Jabba the Hut, double-chin having, ugly, refrigerator on toothpicks??? And now he’s in counseling?? Good grief. He knew what he said was wrong without any paid professional having to explain it to him. Imma need society to quit giving mediocre white men the benefit of the doubt over deliberate actions, citing cluelessness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 04:59 PM
256

My question for these people has always been, “Do you think that the vagina is an intelligent, thinking organ that can differentiate between 100 different penises 1 time vs 1 penis 100 times and accordingly stretches out after each new partner?” Shit just don’t add up. 🤔 If their logic is that you’re gonna be “stretched out” after 1 year of sex with your husband, literally why would he bother staying with you instead of just jumping from virgin to virgin? Buncha morons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 04:20 PM
43

All things aside, like KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE. Somebody watching videos about Youth Pastors is not going to enjoy watching a p*rn-like ad like this. At least target somebody watching one of the sex Youtubers like Lac(ey/i?) Green(e?). It was a waste of money on the company’s part and an unwelcome assault to the eyes and ears of someone who 99% likely took offense to the ad based on the video they clicked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 01:55 PM
18

Excuse me? What exactly is she getting out of this marriage besides headaches and possibly an STD? If this doesn’t show men just take take take, nothing will.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 01:37 PM
52

Since I left for college, I’ve been braless with a few exceptions, like going to court with one of the male judges that throws a fit if you don’t wear a skirt suit and hose. Don’t believe the myth that it’ll cause saggy boobs or desensitize your nipples. It’s all just propaganda shoved down our gullets to scare us into hiding our female-presenting nipples to act as modestly as society can shame us into acting. Sagging is caused by genetics and factors such as smoking, weight gain, and tanning. A…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 12:54 PM
86

Where is the fucking shame?! What happened to guys using the ol’ hand + sock combo?? What a literal degenerate 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 10:03 PM
66

Any man who says “engineer” in his title that isn’t just an engineer or civil engineer, is self-aggrandizing. My spouse is in food production & gov’t tech and has engineering in his official job title but uses layman’s terms/synonyms when introducing himself to not sound like a pompous ass. Hell, remember when they were telling STAHMs to put “Domestic Engineer” on their resumes when they entered back into the workforce as it sounded better? Same thing. For all his lies and double-talk, the lawye…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 03:09 PM
8

People have also used P*rnhub to upload Disney movies to get around YouTube copyright strikes, but that doesn’t mean that makes the website any less insidious. The point is more that Snapchat was conceptualized for sneakiness. If you’re a grown person paying your own bills, who are you sneaking around on that makes it imperative that your messages expire? There’s a billion other texting apps that don’t have convenient and disposable sexting as one of their main goals. The one excuse guys used to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 02:19 PM
45

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Then they want to set this bum up in my head rent free because they want me to solve his unemployment problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 01:36 PM
64

What man over 30 even has Snapchat downloaded? What man over 25 worth a damn uses it? Snapchat was made for teens to send messages their parents can’t go through and sending nudes as adults. THASSIT. My mind cannot be changed about this. He shouldn’t have been messaging that young girl anyway; he’s not anybody to her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 02:49 AM
39

I’ve said it before on here, but it bears repeating: It’s the high rates of spousal abuse in cops and military men for me. Those professions tend to attract a low caliber of men who desire power over those weaker than them. AND the well documented thin blue line phenomenon that makes them protect their own to the detriment of the public that they’re paid to serve. YUP, that means that flag is literally them telling you that they come first before public safety. When I did restraining order work,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 01:23 PM
31

Thank you 🥰 I try to put as much thought and the background reasoning into my responses as possible to legal questions so that other members can at least have a working idea about what a court may do and apply it to their own situations. Lawyers fo’ sho ain’t cheap and are stingy with the free advice outside of pro Bono hour clinics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 10:18 PM
131

Former divorce attorney here. I’ve seen this go a few ways in my practicing days. Honestly, my gut is telling me gambling addiction more than anything but I don’t know your location (I suspect NYC, however) and I don’t have details on his behavioral changes to say any different. Here’s my advice: Hire a PI for a day to tail your dad out of state. It’ll be expensive depending on where you are but not prohibitively so, since you know how often and when he leaves on these trips vs leaving a lot of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 08:12 PM
2

I wasn’t expecting to see tone policing here. I would think that at least here, women are allowed to freely express their disappointment and frustration with common state of things without having to mince our words. If someone doesn’t like the message or the way it’s being communicated, nobody is holding a gun to their head and forcing them to read OR agree with us. And like in the case of white moderates who are complicit in black and brown oppression, I don’t owe any kind of positive or uplift…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 07:33 AM
8

I totally respect that. It’s definitely not my 1st, 2nd...or 5th choice but I could either have a psychotic break due to my medication interference, get rendered accidentally infertile or suck it up and deal. It definitely comes down to the systematic exclusion of women in STEM fields that starts from essentially pre-school. It’s made it so difficult for women to reach for a career such as that. In a major city, there should be more than a handful of women gynos and especially gynos of color.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 10:51 PM
128

I have somewhat mixed feelings about this. On thé one hand, I think it’s weird that men are willing to base their whole career around women’s reproductive systems. But then I recall that I’ve never had a single gyno that’s a woman (I’ve had 5 🥴)take me, my pain, or my severe birth control side effects seriously; they’ve literally told me I’m either exaggerating, lying, drug seeking or to just plain get over it. And my young working professional friends all indicate something similar, despite liv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 09:27 PM
60

Before Covid, my husband used to take me clothes shopping 2-3x a month. I love fashion and he likes keeping up with what I like and has drops calendared in his phone. His love language is also gift giving so he enjoys buying me clothes, shoes, makeup, other things that he knows I enjoy. If your partner isn’t an annoying ass who acts like an 11 year old child with no attention span, begging to leave every 3 minutes, it’s a lot of fun to be taken on spontaneous shopping trips without a budget. It …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 05:44 PM
44

I reached out and popped a friend’s exbf automatically when he said “finger tip check” to her about a skirt she picked out. Then when she stepped away, I hissed that he has no right to tell a woman what to wear but especially no rights when he isn’t even picking up the tab. A separate time, he said something about how he thought a dress was frumpy that she was holding and I had to pull him aside and get him back right AGAIN. I’m tired of having to punish the mangy dogs my friends bring around fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 05:29 PM
195

I’ve got about 5 friends in various stages of wedding planning with me taking 2nd or 3rd in planning. 3/5 were all flabbergasted when I shut down strippers at the bachelor parties. The other 2 already knew I don’t play that shit. Get drunk, YEAH! Rent out an Airbnb at the beach or in the mountains with your besties, YEAH! Bring naked women/men around a few weeks before marriage? RECORD SCRATCH. Why would it be respectful to start a marriage a couple days after some coked-up, strung out man was g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 07:44 PM
2

When I read this, my mind immediately jumped to thinking, “This man is in a relationship with an already married woman at work and settled for OP.” I cannot imagine saying a man loves me and mentioning in the same breath that he is emotionally distant and always has been. This is why we’ve gotta be careful who we procreate with. This man is going to treat his daughter like a pest by blocking her out and only exchanging am and pm pleasantries like how he treats her mother. And that’s if he doesn’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 01:50 PM
67

My presence is his present 🥰 But forreal, V-Day, in my experience, has been the one day a year where these fuckin scrotes know that they actually have to make some sort of an effort towards romancing the women that they’re been using I mean, loving. These regular ass dudes don’t do a damn thing throughout the year while their gfs and wives cater to their every whim and then have the audacity to request a gift on V-Day? TUH. 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 10:26 PM
26

I was so disgusted when he left. They weren’t in a good place in their relationship AND he had the audacity to ask for a “loan” of 1st month, security and moving expenses from her. And she gave it to him! My husband would never just up and leave me behind for any reason, even before marriage. Any permanent employment decisions are made jointly and only after whichever one of us wants to change has consulted our life goals plan. Why would a man who loves you willingly move 3 hours away for a job …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 10:13 PM
130

I have a friend that has admitted to my husband and I that she will probably be buying her own engagement ring because her good-for-nothing, 30 something year old boyfriend (she will be turning 26 in May) is terrible with money and still hasn’t paid her back for the money she loaned him when he lost his job almost 3 years ago. They’ve been together for 5 long and miserable years, 3 of which have been long distance, and she thinks that all the fighting and breaking up and pushing each other’s but…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 08:48 PM
18

Ooh girl, no MMA or boxers, though. As far as I’m concerned, they’re all woman beaters. Any man who, as a leisure (aka relaxing!) activity, chooses to commit acts of violence is frighteningly scary. Plus they take those ‘roids and stuff that they admit make them rapey and even more violent and terrifying that normal. And for that matter, tackle football too. Their brains get rattled around and they get TBIs and CBSs that also up their rage and violence factor towards women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 05:31 PM
5

That’s awful. If you don’t have the money to lose, do. not. do. it. It’s basically buying a lotto ticket with the grocery money and crossing your fingers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 05:17 PM
80

Never never never ever never take a nude photo of yourself. Not even if you’re feeling yourself and you just save it on your computer or phone. Never. Both of those things are easily hacked/broken into and have been for many women. It’s not worth it. Take a mental picture. It’s easy to say that it won’t get out or if it does, it won’t ruin your life. But it will. Because this “sex positive” world looks at sex workers as the scum of the earth and you’ll be rendered an untouchable by anyone who go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 02:48 PM
9

I planned an outdoor activities fest for my best girlfriends! I got a photo wall, drinks, a specialty cake, and little goodie bags to show them how much I love and appreciate them and their support throughout the years. My husband and I aren’t huge traditional Valentine’s or holiday people; we skip the dinner near our house and usually go on a trip by ourselves somewhere quiet. Obviously we have to skip that until we get our hands on a vaccine but we’re planning on a 2 or 3 week no technology bl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 02:09 PM
22

This shit is wild. When my friends leave after visiting my home, I literally watch them from my porch until they pull out of my driveway and I live in a quiet suburban area. And when I go visit them at their apartment complexes, they walk me to my car (I drop them off at the entrance) to make sure I’m fine as well. Don’t accept less from men than you would from your girlfriends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 03:37 PM
39

Hit dogs holler. When someone says attorneys are slimy liars, I don’t shit my britches running to defend myself. Why not? Because I recognize that that person probably has had some bad run-ins with the legal profession, I’m secure in my morality and I know that shit don’t apply to me. I know a few people who pad their billables who would get hot under the collar at that statement tho 🌚
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 12:44 AM
18

For a second, I thought the second pic was a picture of my girl Darcey from 90 Day without the booty length, cheap hair extensions. 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 04:27 PM
24

And if he complained about literally anything, that’s be on his dumb ass too 😂😂😂 I don’t understand how anyone could expect their adversary to look out for their best interests. Like??? In what world would it be a good idea to let someone hired by a person seeking to separate from you decide your financial future?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 10:33 PM
41

Yeah, for some reason, people combine child support and child visitation into one thing. As in, if they don’t see their kid then they don’t have to pay support. And also the inverse of if they don’t pay child support, then they can’t see the child. Those things operate completely independent of one another...unless of course you stop paying child support and get thrown in jail for contempt. Cuz then you can’t see your child. 🌚
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 10:22 PM
10

He also spoke about requesting alimony from her which wouldn’t be an option if she wasn’t employed. I tend to believe that when a couple is dumb enough to get a joint attorney, one party is always going to get a much shorter end of the stick as opposed to when each party retains their own representation. I explained elsewhere that in an Obligor Percentage state, ~20% of gross income is normal; if (big if) he consented via the attorney to 30%, then his attorney wasn’t advocating particularly well…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:27 PM
40

1) He feels like he got snowed because he felt that his joint attorney didn’t advocate zealously for him. And he’s probably correct because a joint attorney has to serve two masters instead of just one. It’s his right to feel that way but he waived it by not taking action and retaining a separate attorney . 1) She wasn’t unemployed; she had her own 401k and bank accounts that he is upset he didn’t get half of. But, he’s obviously not giving the full story. It’s very possible that hers had only 2…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 08:49 PM
25

The child support model you use depends on your state. Most states use the Income Shares model (the one you’re referencing;) the percentages change up and down with little caveats but the basic idea is looking at both incomes and calculating it the way you explained. There’s a couple other methods that aren’t nearly so popular, like the Melson method and the Percentage Method. It seems like he’s in a state with the Percentage Method, which is the least complicated and straight out says you pay a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 06:40 PM
88

30% really is an exaggeration but in some states, it’s standard practice to award ~20% of the non-custodial parent’s gross income as child support. That’s being phased out in favor of child support worksheets and tables in most places because MRA lobbyists have bitched and moaned about men -excuse me, non-custodial parents- not being able to eat after paying child support. For this to be even remotely true, it’d have to be in Mississippi, Texas, Nevada....and maybe 3-4 other states. I’m not prec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 06:19 PM
221

He wants to be mad at her because he CONSENTED to this agreement via their JOINT attorney?? Boy, BYE! He’s a fucking moron who let himself get snowed. In the words of a wise older woman, “Am I supposed to feel sorry for that bitch? Cuz I don’t!” Clearly he was cool with it at the time since he didn’t decline and request separate representation, which he had every right to do. *sidenote: As a former divorce attorney, I never advise getting a joint attorney. If you’ve got the money, get two separa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 05:57 PM
7

Oh! Did you not read the article that OP posted? I was responding to you and everyone else in conjunction with this article. I’ve been explaining up and down this thread that AOA claims are a separate tortious wrong and that the redress against spouses is separate and under a couple of completely different legal theories. I can see how you’d be confused if you didn’t know that the question wasn’t a hypothetical, but was instead Elle trying to open up a dialogue about alienation of affection clai…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 02:34 AM
13

Several as in...I’m barred in several states (and DC!) not as in I have multiple copies of the same license. 😂 I don’t know why you think I’m “barging” in. I didn’t call you names or imply anything beyond expressing legal knowledge that the average layperson wouldn’t have access to. You commented in an open forum and I explained, not unkindly, why it wouldn’t work to sue a current spouse. But stay ignorant if it makes you happy, I guess?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 02:23 AM
13

Ma’am, please direct me to your state bar license and I’ll happily show you one of my several. My point is that there are antiquated laws that are still on the books; that’s why your quote says “technically;” were a prosecutor to attempt to follow through, he’d be laughed out by the presiding judge. Same as the ice cream example, which ALSO hasn’t been prosecuted in many years. The audacity of you to say “I’m pretty sure lawsuits are possible” when a person with an actual degree and license to p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 02:12 AM
6

There’ve been some pretty high profile cases, such as Fantasia’s. It doesn’t need to be used every time or even often, imo and it isn’t. Only about 200 cases or so are filed per year in the whole state of NC. But, there are plenty of torts that aren’t very common, like wrongful birth/life, that are still incredibly useful for recovery of damages when you happen upon a particular set of circumstances that lines you up for a slam dunk. Were I in the wife of Fantasia’s boyfriend’s situation, I beli…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 02:04 AM
10

??? 1) just because something is on the books doesn’t mean that it’s ever prosecuted. There’s laws about not putting an ice cream cone in your back pocket but when was the last time you heard somebody get locked up for that? 2) a tort or civil wrong, is completely different from a criminal offense. I literally don’t even know the point that you’re trying to express here by saying that it’s illegal? Many things are illegal but that doesn’t mean that you can sue somebody for doing it; laws don’t a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 01:56 AM
24

But, as I’ve already stated throughout this thread...we do??? We penalize by lump sum (or periodic payments) at the end of marriage during asset division and/or by barring men from alimony claims if they normally would have been entitled to seek it. That’s the recourse. We have it. Now we need to focus on hiring attorneys that are intelligent and savvy enough to use it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 11:15 PM
7

Just because you lack the personal experience does not mean that it doesn’t exist or doesn’t happen. It’s common as all get-out. Just type into google “How does adultery affect my divorce in (insert state)” and you’ll get literally dozens of law firm websites with exacting, nuanced answers begging for a chance to help you out. And it’s not just rich or wealthy people who deal with adultery or divorce. Property division can be just your bank accounts and your two cars or even just who takes on th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 08:59 PM
14

I’ll provide examples for you but please note that in your reply you didn’t bother to address the incorrect information in your original comment. Armchair attorneys run rampant and unchecked on Reddit and it’s important to me that FDS be a place that women can turn to and reliably get accurate information. Long attorney ramble: Well, in the years that I’ve practiced, where there was infidelity, we did request a higher percent when calculating property division and it was consented to in lieu of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 08:49 PM
13

Couple things here. If the adultery partner can demonstrate in their defense that they did not know that the spouse was married, there will be no recovery because the elements of the claim will not be met. The courts absolutely take things on a case-by-case basis, particularly in criminal and tort (civil wrong) cases, like here. A court has to hear the case to ensure that all of the elements are met prior to making a finding of fact. And that’s as a matter of law as these findings make the basis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 08:26 PM
39

This doesn’t make sense for a few reasons. (I’m an attorney who formerly specialized in family law and I’ve hashed this out many a time in the last decade or so) There is no cause of action for suing the husband. AOA claims, where they’re still permitted, maintain that it must be a 3rd party, not the spouse. If he’s your husband, any money getting paid out to you, comes out of your own coffers. There’d be no benefit. In addition, the civil redress for adultery in a marriage is divorce and reques…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 08:11 PM
47

It’s not you guys, it’s these garbage publications that frame legal issues like this. They intentionally leave out information to lead people to the conclusion that they want, which is the eradication of AOA lawsuits in this case. Let’s never forget the shit media representation of the McDonald’s hot coffee case, despite Stella Liebeck suffering 2nd and 3rd degree burns requiring skin grafts on 22% of her body. https://www.caoc.org/?pg=facts The average person doesn’t know enough about laws or h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 07:26 PM
121

Former family law attorney stepping in: This isn’t about some poor sweet woman meeting a lying guy on online dating and the scorned, hateful wife decides to come in and ruin their happiness. No. To prove alienation of affection, there has to be proof of the third party’s malicious actions, aka proof that he/she knew that the partner was married and made affirmative actions to continue and further the affair despite knowing that fact. You literally cannot prevail on an AOA claim without that fact…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 07:04 PM
28

It’s the anti-intruder baseball bat. I’ve lived in a rural area before with my grandmother and cousins and everyone had a hatchet/baseball bat/butcher knife by their bed or in arms reach just in case somebody breaks into the house. Much safer than a loaded gun, which is what my husband keeps for protection on his side of the bed, if there are kids in the home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 04:49 PM
159

Not someone admitting to beating off to owls 😩😩😩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 04:45 PM
7

That’s so wild! Men in tech here are less Elon Musk and more...the IT Crowd? Very much button ups with belts and not very social but also not anywhere near these Reddit basement dwellers. I literally couldn’t imagine seeing any of his straight-laced coworkers doing anything further than getting really tipsy at the Christmas party 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 10:28 PM
18

I’m here with a word on this today. True Crime Genre consumers are overwhelmingly white women. By and large. And they aren’t lusting and obsessing over all types of serial killers, just white men who, not coincidentally, murder white women who look just like them. There are plenty of killers who target brown and black women, however they will never reach the notoriety of Bundy and others because 1) the media (and society at large) doesn’t care about women who don’t look like Natalie Holloway or …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 06:06 PM
891

Literally all I can do is cackle at this. It takes way less work and maneuvering to actually go to the Probate court and pick of a marriage license than what he’s suggesting 😂😂😂😂😂😂 God. I hope she dumps him. He wants the clout of being married so fucking bad. What a poser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 05:27 PM
36

It’s crazy to me that this is such a big thing in some tech circles. As far as high earning careers, tech is probably my #1 or #2 pick for a husband and father. My husband has been in the tech industry for around 10 years; they’ve got great pay, great benefits, dependable 9-6 hours, and fabulous work-life balance (30+ days of PTO p/year!!!) I could see how it could allure scummy dudes as independent contractors, but all my husband’s coworkers are pretty similar as family men, 2.5 kids, pictures …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 03:56 PM
5

You’re free to add whatever you want but I’m not sure where in my comment you got anything about me expecting mothers to be primary parents when I was specifically speaking to the myth of men being unjustly treated in child custody cases? I’ve drafted plenty of divorces (which include child custody and support worksheets) in my day and the vast majority of men just flat out don’t want to be bothered with their children from the beginning of the divorce. And that’s whether they were previously ac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 05:37 PM
30

But we aren’t vetting for Patricia Pickme who is happily performing as an emotional crutch and surrogate wife for a man who doesn’t even care enough about her to think about his feelings when she isn’t there nor ask her to be his girlfriend. The question was what is FDS advice for this woman. There’s literally nothing he can do to fix it. She should cut her losses (only 6 months!) and move on. We aren’t in the business of handholding and raising grown ass men here, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 10:30 PM
42

Men who use 5 dollar words when small words do just fine are either overcompensating for their lack of education as they’re embarrassed by it or are attempting to be purposefully condescending. I’m an attorney, all of my friends have post-graduate degrees, and we all use common words (or txt lyk dis) to speak to everyone outside of work because we’re not stuck up our own asses thinking that we’re better than everyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 09:29 PM
98

FDS advice is to dump him before she ever got to the point of sobbing her feelings out to him. She should have dumped him at the first instance of him giving the friend the boyfriend experience and never looked back. He lacks boundaries and lacks the ability to understand boundaries that are a necessity in adult relationships. A HVM doesn’t need his hand held to see inappropriate behavior. He would be cognizant of his behaviors and once he got in a relationship, would have started putting distan…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 09:25 PM
158

If only these shitheads could sit through 10 divorce proceedings involving kids. 😂😂😂 NEWSFLASH: 99.99999% of the time, child custody/visitation is jointly drafted and consented to by both parties. Judges aren’t running around making those decisions unless it’s contested, which it almost never is. Men LOVE their sweetheart deal. They specifically REQUEST every other weekend, Thanksgiving and 4th of July weekend because they love getting the glory of being an “involved” father while also making mi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 04:26 PM
5

Honestly, once you’re married, it literally doesn’t matter if a man goes on the deed + mortgage documents or not. That equity built from that moment forward becomes your (plural your) combined equity in the eyes of the law. He should most certainly be contributing as in the event of a divorce, he will be arguing that he’s entitled to at least half of what accrued during the marriage. Now, I always counsel clients to get on the mortgage after marriage ASAP so that you have rights to your home sho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 06:53 PM
249

If this is how he acts when he knows he’s got a camera on him, imagine what he’d do to that tot while they’re alone. Men with anger issues are just ticking time bombs waiting to pour over their rage on the smaller innocents around them. You never see a man getting furious and taking it out on a man bigger than or equal to his size.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 04:54 PM
30

In consultations, I would let clients know that it’s for the best to just buy a new home together AFTER marriage. That way if it works, you begin your new life as one with no exes or other memories in one house or the other. And if it doesn’t work and you have to sell, neither of you are trying to spite each other by selling the other one’s prior memories/accomplishments. I can’t tell you how many women I’ve had scream at me that it isn’t the “marital home” because she bought it before they marr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 03:57 PM
72

Heyyyy, one of the FDS resident attorneys and former divorce attorney here! This question runs deeper than one might believe. If you have a home and you’re married, any increase in the valuation of the home (market or equity) is automatically assumed to be marital property. That’s if he pays bill or never works a day in his life. That doesn’t mean the home itself but the improvement in value from the date in marriage on. Same with a man that makes improvements to the home either through sweat or…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 03:32 PM
43

Ma’am. You know men are out here beating off to the mom from the Incredibles, the rabbit from Zootopia and My Little Pony right? Same with NatGeo. There is literally nothing on this earth that men will not touch themselves to. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 02:02 PM
4

RED. FUCKING. FLAG. And it’s flashing too! Any man who tries to control you spending your OWN money but especially when you aren’t married and don’t live together is a LVM. He will undoubtedly grow even more controlling over more aspects of your life if you stay. That man is not a HVM and he told you such to your face and in his actions. He literally told you that he’s going to rob you out of 6 entire years of your life for his career without a commitment; idk if he knows this, but he can be mar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 01:58 PM
5

I’m surprised! I adore Bumble BFF. I had a lot of reservations originally as a black woman with natural hair in a sea of blonde hair but surprisingly, women of most other ethnicities were incredibly open to a relationship with diverse women. No luck with 99% of white women, actually. I was as choosy about who to swipe on as FDS says about to be about men. Too many mirror selfies? Swipe left. Friends all look identical/the same ethnicity? Swipe left. Only photos of her? Swipe left. Talks excessiv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 01:49 AM
49

For reference, I’m a married black attorney. If I were thrust back into the dating world, my career/education requirements would look like: Any man I’m dating must have 2+ degrees that are high earning and useful. Black women are notorious for marrying down at the educational level which prevents social mobility and I do not want that for myself or my future child. NO LAWYERS. Nuff said. Must have a salaried position. Period. I know independent contractors can make damn good money and so can ent…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 01:34 PM
62

His steps can be helpful but I don’t believe he’s an ally to women. He has pretty archaic ideas about a woman’s place and is currently involved in a federal suitfor firing a pregnant woman from his staff for daring to be unmarried.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 07:49 PM
9

Natalie nailed it when she called Mike low class. His closet and probably his whole house stinks. His house is cluttered. She’s left alone in a house that’s only heated via wood so she’s freezing half the time. Nothing was cleaned or prepared for her. And he’s so lazy. He’s not going to provide her with any kind of stimulating lifestyle. If I had a friend dating Mike, I’d pull her right out of there and ask her why she doesn’t love herself right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 11:48 PM
30

Yo. When Tom asked her (under his breath like a coward) if she had gained weight? And she called him out on it and he was too scared to respond? That was the best I’d ever seen out of my bb girl Darce. Big fuck you to Big Pred tho. Sex tourists fucking disgust me and every talk show that gave him air time ought to be ashamed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 08:40 PM
26

In 2021, women don’t let women go out with gross fat scrotes with this sunglasses pfp on. We’re not doing it anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 06:49 PM
84

The crossover from this sub and the 90 Day sub is not an illushon. 😂 Jesse was a narcissistic gaslighter. And I don’t say apply those terms lightly. Jesse has overinflated his self worth to the nth degree; I mean, he said he’s a traveling motivational speaker who does talks worldwide, meanwhile he’s preaching about love at an old folks home. He treated my girl Darcey like absolute crap aside from the gaslighting. He worked hard to make her feel self-conscious and like she’d gone crazy. Don’t get…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 05:32 PM
14

Lol absolutely not! My guess is some very angry, very selfish in bed man. I’m not really Reddit savvy aside from this and the 90 Day sub so I wouldn’t know how to do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 02:43 AM
30

So more: He should be able to perform 30 minutes of moderate cardio without passing out vs becoming the heavyweight pump (as in in-out sex lol) champion of the world. I can respect that! I was just concerned about all that friction for that long starting a fire 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 01:28 AM
51

Nothing super constructive to add from me! I’m just awed that you can enjoy 30 minutes minimum of penetrative sex. Healthy living is definitely a necessity but I think it’s important that a man baby bears the length of time so that he isn’t a 2 pump chump but can achieve orgasm without thrusting for 45 minutes. I just feel like if a man has to thrust for 25 minutes plus into a vagina after foreplay, he’s probably choking his dick out on the regular.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 01:08 AM
82

I don’t think that we should shy away from the fact that a large amount of heterosexual women also feel strong emotional connections to one another. I remember growing up and thinking I might be gay or bisexual because I really just craved having emotional ties with my friends and girl cousins and wanted to spend every waking moment experiencing life with them. I tell my girlfriends all the time that they provide a level of comfort, love, and support that I cannot get and do not want from my hus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 10:21 PM
12

Lord Jesus. Why are attracted to men?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 07:26 PM
18

See, that’s another thing. Whenever women (me for my family 🥲) try to contradict guys that say Steve Harvey-isms, I always get shut down because I’m not a man and he knows how the fellas think! And same for any black woman that talks about how Steve perpetuates the perspective that black women are so StToNg and are there to build black men up; they get called lonely, bitter or taunted with “if you know so much, why don’t YOU have a husband!?” It’s toxic as fuck, especially because black women ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 07:09 PM
45

I’m really not a fan of Steve Harvey as a relationship coach since he’s got a seriously terrible track record, but I can appreciate how he introduced some serious FDS principles to the black community via mainstream media when normally black men are pushing us to be face down, ass up. For instance, his 90 Day rule to make a man prove his worth to you/have the men only seeking sex fall back before you ever think about having sex with him. He also tells women to raise their standards, not to move …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 06:23 PM
134

I know so many women who are well read and are intelligent and have diverse interests. Women don’t just go to work, drink beer, and watch men running around in tight clothes/play mindless video games for 4 hours before going to bed and doing it all over again for 35 years. Men are just so fucking boooooooring naturally. They all only like the same 4 things: beer, sports, video games and sex. I’m still sometimes caught off guard when my husband and his 2 best friends start discussing their novel …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 03:59 PM
111

Lol, this useless fucking man. This poor woman had to deal with a shotgun marriage (married 7 years but have an 8 year old) to a total moron. He’s so stupid that he couldn’t think to grab a pair of flip flops to leave by the back door to go in and out to prevent making extra work for his wife. He also editorialized; for sure that morning he tried to initiate sex and she shooed him off due to being tired and doing everything and he whined and bitched about never getting sex. Then, he decided that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 02:22 PM
25

Yes. There are a couple of different screening processes: PGS and PGD. One checks for chromosomal issues (Down Syndrome and prevents spontaneous miscarriage due to abnormalities) and the other screens for genetic disorders, like cystic fibrosis, some types of cancers, and other deadly medical conditions. There’s some promising research as to mapping all the autism markers but at this point, no guarantees as of yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 06:48 PM
52

Yes! So much yes! Your strength is commendable and I’m so happy your family can be here for you. People tend to shy away from medical intervention in regards to childbearing but I think it’s so important if it’s financially feasible. No, it’s not romantic to be implanted with an embryo at a doctor’s office as opposed to a baby being conceived in the moonlight on a beach but if you could avoid your child being born with painful and/or debilitating birth defects, how could the latter even be an op…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 06:36 PM
1

I’m married to the man I met and began dating at 15 who was maaaaaybe my 2nd or 3rd kiss and we’re turning 31 this year. I know about not liking any and everyone. However, I’m about 99% sure that most of the functional population had at least held somebody’s hand aside from their mother’s at that age. And he’s not saying he wasn’t looking and being choosy, just that nobody is interested since he’s “bad with girls.” Certainly different from waiting til marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 02:29 AM
32

Um, the only thing stopping a man from sleeping with other women has always been the man. Even if sex work was truly decriminalized, that same man could still go out to a bar and meet a woman without exchanging currency. Vet, vet, vet for men’s opinion about sex. If he’s pro casual sex, I believe that is a large red flag. If a man brings up sex work on his own, at all, I believe that it’s a big red flag; all he’s trying to do is gauge your feelings on it to see what exactly he’s willing to revea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 06:20 PM
33

For a couple of my childhood friends, it’s the sunk cost fallacy. They’re throwing good years after the bad, thinking that it’ll pay off just like a gambler does. Spoiler: it doesn’t work like that. Just because you spent all of your early 20s with a man doesn’t mean you need to stick it out in hopes it’ll get better. Cut your losses, get up from the roulette table and go try poker...or whatever the proper metaphor is. I’m not a gambler 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 04:15 PM
20

One might be tempted to feel sorry for him, but honestly, if by 22, he hasn’t kissed or even held a girl’s hand, there is something seriously wrong with him as a person. Whether it’s serial killer vibes or B.O. or overbearing mom but something ain’t right. There’s 15 year old boys in homeschool that have had girlfriends at that age. The solution is to work on himself, not pay money to feel another human being’s touch. Plus this is the type of man to imprint on a sex worker then stalk and harass …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 03:18 PM
23

She’s from the North so she’s had a lot of dating experiences with ain’t-shit men who have gotten away with that crap all of their adult lives. It’s taking some reeducating for her not to feel like she’s commodifying herself when she’s demanding respect and to be treated well. But now we’ve got her saying, “if i wanted to pay for my own meal, I’d go out with my friends and actually enjoy myself.” Which is 100% true, except all of our friends pay for each other all the time 😂😂😂 I don’t know wheth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 03:10 PM
14

I’m here for the black and brown girls! We’ve got a lot of unlearning to do in our respective communities about a woman’s place and this is one of the best avenues I’ve seen on the internet for it since it’s an all girls club! We deserve better and we’re demanding better in 2021 and beyond! ❤️❤️❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 03:07 PM
63

If a man wants a woman who thinks that sitting in a car outside Burger King, eating off the value meal on a Saturday night is a date, I just want to let him know, she is out there and begging for attention, literally yelling “pick me!” Go. Date. Her. Nothing is stopping a man from doing that. But men don’t want that. They want a pretty, high maintenance lady and they want her to lower herself to his nasty ass standards just because it gets their rocks off to see a woman brought low. Why can’t th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 01:33 PM
159

I had a girlfriend tell me a few days ago that a man asked her out and she offered to split the bill and he just accepted. She was outraged until my husband and I were like, well why did you offer? She said that it was to show that she’s progressive. And we asked her if that’s what she wants in a man. She said that she wants to be treated like a queen. And we had to walk her through how a queen would just be herself and trust that any man she chose would know her worth and not fakeout her values…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 04:44 AM
47

Also, he’s a fucking liar. He didn’t spend 7k on computer games. He spent it on porn, gambling or another woman. A working man doesn’t have the time to spend playing that many games a day unless he’s either lying about working or flat out not sleeping. Someone making good money should not be living paycheck to paycheck unless they’re both bad as budgeting. You should spend no more than 30% of your gross monthly income on housing and truly, you should spend only about 15-20% to live a good, well …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 08:03 PM
42

Good gravy. This is what I hate about “equality” culture saying every thing must always be 50/50 equal. Me and my husband, who makes almost 2x what I make as an attorney, have a shared checking & savings account, a shared credit card, he has a personal card as do I. I have access to every single account in the house; his personal card is just a backup in case we get fraud on our main card. He respects that I need financial security and access to accounts at all times and goes out of his way to e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 07:57 PM
36

Yessss! Colonizer ass attitudes is exactly what it is. Liberals looooove moving into historically black neighborhoods here and gentrifying them, pushing out black families that have lived there for nearly a century, thinking it’s okay because they put a BLM sign in their yard, have a coexist sticker on their car and use this emoji 😌meanwhile they’re causing irreparable financial damage to the community they put a black box on for on Instagram. It’s that “I ‘found’ it so I’m entitled to it” attit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 02:58 PM
27

Girl nooooooo. This man does not respect your boundaries. He’s going to keep pushing and pushing and pushing, making you uncomfortable. Further, you needed to be firm from the outset by blocking and deleting after he ghosted you. FDS applies to all aspects of your life, including friends. Don’t keep associating with people who treat you as an option and cancel on you last minute; it lowers your self-value. Finally, your texts seem very flirty. I don’t know if you’ve made a commitment to being mo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 02:37 PM
70

She def went on an FDS journey from being a pickme to a fully realized, independent woman who stands up for what she believes in. She helped other women without betraying them, rejected a male professor’s advances and used her feminine knowledge to get ahead all without having to sleep with anyone, including her eventual love interest. In the sequel, she went to Washington DC and made a difference for a cause she cared about, not taking no for an answer just because people thought she was dumb b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 04:27 AM
51

The trash took itself out. You need friends with stronger wills and respect for other women. And you can use this as an opportunity to get out of a relationship that, from this glance, seemed to be emotionally draining. You can lead a woman for FDS but you can’t make her think. 🤷🏾‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 01:30 AM
83

Automatic divorce and supervised visitation. He was so negligent that a small child, probably not tall enough to properly reach and turn a door handle, was able to leave their home. Anything could have happened to that baby. She could have been run over, trafficked, or gotten lost and died of dehydration. What a horrendous neglectful man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 10:28 PM
83

Listen here. This man thought he was really doing something but all he did was reveal a giant red flag. An immensely low value behavior for all people is the inability to empathize. When someone denies the existence of sexism or racism until it either happens to them or someone very close to them, they are low value, self-centered trash. These are the men who blame women for rape until their daughters are assaulted and even then, they might take it out on her. Avoid people like this at all costs…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 10:25 PM
17

Tuh. I was just informed that for Valentine’s Day, my husband will be wowing and awwwing at his present this year: me enjoying a weekend getaway he planned for us at a cabin up north. He’s very grateful and I’ll be sure to post his reaction for them. 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 06:19 PM
87

The money is more than likely for buying some weed since he included a wrapper for making a blunt. And gas money since she drove over then had to drive back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 05:14 PM
8

Toxic masculinity convinced men that caring and keeping up themselves was somehow feminine. Aka dirty gross dudes peer pressured weak and mindless follower dudes to quit taking care of themselves. I’m not into men getting manicures or having perfectly waxed brows (Tim from Tim and Jennifer of 90 Day Fiancé anybody???) but plucking the unibrow, cutting fingernails and filing them down so they aren’t little daggers, and smelling good are a must. Plus, I think that lack of care for their person tra…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 01:16 PM
19

I grew up with a father who, every time he left the house, returned with something for me and my mother. That could be money, cookies, dinner, flowers, a t-shirt, suckers from the bank, but something. And it wasn’t a big deal that he wanted praise for. He’d just knock on my door and toss me my favorite soda or a silly t-shirt and go back to living his life. He’d get my mom’s work stuff ready without her asking by lining up everything she needed so she could get extra sleep. He’d also go fill up …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 02:19 PM
96

It’s a challenge on the Tikky-Tok. It involves a remix of “Hot in Herre” by Nelly that had women begin the video as dressing normally, then the beat drops and they “bussit” (AAVE for bust it, aka drop it low) down and begin twerking (AAVE for rhythmically making your derrière bounce in a sexually enticing way) to the new beat while looking seductively into the mirror. As pretty much all viral Tikky-Toks, it started in the black community but now the popular white Tik-Tokers have found it and are…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 01:54 PM
209

As someone who has only had sex with the same person, I’d like to add that I am astonished when I hear that men under 45 can’t get or stay hard. And that goes double for not being able to finish in a reasonable length of time. We’re 30, been having sex for 13 years and he still gets hard at the drop of a dime if I hug him full frontal for too long in our bed or if we kiss for a bit. These dudes need to stop strangling the life out of their dicks and their sex lives would improve a thousandfold.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 03:31 AM
63

It’s nice that he purchased this set (likely one bundle purchase off her Amazon wishlist) but I can’t help but be wary when men go on beauty or nail or clothing subreddits expecting strange women to provide free labor so as to please his wife. Plus, they’re usually looking for pats on the back for bothering to click 2 buttons to purchase something, which women give because we’re so used to men giving us jack shit even on their birthdays. To figure it out on his own, putting in more effort beyond…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 04:08 PM
33

I haaaaaaate beards the majority of the time. They always look so gross and unkempt with hair creeping up towards their eyes and the sides of their noses. I’ve really only seen some black and middle eastern men give them true upkeep, sculpting and length trims to look good. My spouse keeps some stubble which shows off his cheekbones but isn’t long enough to give me beard burn and imho, that’s enough ornamentation for most men who are naturally very good looking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 03:50 PM
30

Life is not a competition, but my husband and I began dating at 15. He would have married me as soon as he could afford a ring at 19 if I’d have agreed but I set the tone of the relationship. I told him I wouldn’t get married before 21, but would accept a proposal at 20. We married 2 months after my 22nd birthday and 1 year before I graduated from law school, once he could financially provide the wedding I wanted. That was clearly 5 years to a proposal, but I’d say under 18 doesn’t count since o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 03:01 PM
37

She thinks that all any man wants is a supplicant to worship him so she was trying to show me how a real woman treats a man. She’s the type of woman that takes her man’s work boots off when he gets home and serves him food before she feeds her children. 😂😂😂 A real man dotes on a woman like the luxury she is. One second she’s “playfully” pretending to steal a necklace he got me just because he thought I needed more neck adornment and the next she’s telling me that I’m not acting like his ideal wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 09:53 PM
56

My pickme family members treat me a little like Ciara post-Future. They see my husband and the life he provides for me and ask me for the specific prayer I prayed to get a good man. My mother also married a HV man (my beloved father) and they were jealous of her too. It’s led to my dad and my husband being treated like kings at family functions, which they both handle with as much grace as possible. Last time we visited, my single cousin wanted to “fix my man a plate,” she was more than welcome …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 08:15 PM
48

They don’t actually want to know. It’s just a foot in the door to tell you that whatever you say, no matter what it is, is wrong. Who gives a shit? I don’t debate feminism with men and I don’t debate racial inequality with non-BIPOC. There are millions of articles with information about both of the above and my time is too fucking important to spend regurgitating information into the woefully or willfully ignorant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 07:41 PM
41

Man, idk anyone who does that with their spouse. Our friends are all high earners, as are we, and the last photo set we saw of most of them were wedding photos or their annual Christmas cards with their children which served a purpose as it got mailed out to friends, family and sometimes their clients (dentist and real estate agent.) I’d advise them to get a hobby that isn’t collecting social media points and shitposting every time Dylan or Taylor fucks up only to take him back right after.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 07:04 PM
187

If you’re from the South, I hear you and understand you! Every season, maybe 5-10 of my HS classmates post a series of seasonal photos where they and their 7+ year boyfriends throwing cherry blossoms, posing with sunflowers, jumping in fall leaves, or wearing Santa hats. And these men look miserable or begrudging just being there and participating with these stupid fucking fake smiles or grimaces plastered on their faces. Like, where are you hanging all of these photo sets?! And then I realize t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 06:19 PM
20

Maybe a bit of both? I’m 30, turning 31, so no spring chicken but not dust either. The people in my area who bought class rings typically had their shit together and usually went off the college. These were also the guys that lettered (got letterman’s jackets) and gave them to their gfs as a status symbol. Lol, typing that out made me feel like I went to some sock hop, 1950s school.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 05:38 PM
5

You don’t have to be rich or have a PhD to be HV. HVW work in all sorts of environments and some are even SAHMs! Don’t let society make you feel lesser than because you weren’t born with a silver spoon in your mouth. I believe you when you say you’re highly intelligent; I just think that this post could have used some better phrasing to tailor it to your actual goal, which is the last sentence of the comment I’m currently replying to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 05:30 PM
8

I didn’t say you wanted a millionaire; I corrected your assertion that being wealthy is necessary to make a man HV. I did, however, ask you to correct me about what career a beauty room is meant to lead to then provided encouragement not to wait for a man to come along to begin fulfilling your wishes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 05:17 PM
76

Promise rings are absolutely adorable in high school, although I’ll admit to being annoyed that men are buying those cheapie little Pandora rings (50-80) over giving a girl their class ring (usually 200 plus and actually sentimental and made of quality materials) on a chain like when I was young. Over 20 and it’s embarrassing. He’s pissing on you to mark his territory but not serious enough to truly commit. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 05:05 PM
23

??? HVM aren’t always millionaires. Plenty of HVM are part of the middle and working class. High value behaviors aren’t even close to always being trips to Bora Bora or Chanel bags biweekly. Correct me if I’m wrong, you’re saying that you want a man to fund you starting a business as a makeup artist or youtuber? For either of those, you can level up without a man by building yourself up and doing it part-time until your career takes off and you can quit your main gig. Don’t wait on some dude to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 04:50 PM
12

A financially literate grown man will have a 401k or a Roth IRA. As soon as he became eligible at work, he should have started socking money away. He should also have plans on how to improve his station. That means saving, moving up in his career, paying off his house, not taking on extra debt and not just stagnating and blowing all his money at bars. That goes a long way in the vetting process as far as being a stable provider in the future. You can also look up his job on Glassdoor to know how…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 02:20 PM
118

So true. When we were first launching into our careers/graduate school, my husband worked 2 jobs while going to school full-time so that he could give me everything I wanted and didn’t have to work while going through law school. I never asked that of him and he never ever complained; he was more than happy to live off 5 hours of sleep a day, commuting 1 hour each way to give me the life he thinks I deserve. Even now, when we’re much MUCH better off financially, he looks back at that time and ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 05:25 AM
8

Most people are completely ignorant of these common law rules and women should definitely take advantage of that fact by not volunteering the ring in the event of a breakup. Make him file in small claims because 9x out of 10, he’ll be too lazy to actually go through with it. But what I don’t want to see is women here assuming it’s always theirs based on incorrect info, selling it for the depreciated value and getting stuck paying retail in court in the event a man follows through. One of my peev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 10:10 PM
42

Not so fun fact: Montana is the only state in the US that always views engagement rings as a no-strings attached gift. In every other state, if a marriage never occurs, he can legally ask for the ring back and has a good chance of prevailing. In CA, TX and I believe WA state, you can keep it as long as you didn’t break it off with him. In a handful of states (I know FL is one because I’m barred there as well), it doesn’t matter if he beat you, cheated, or broke it off, you must give it back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 04:40 PM
16

Every attorney I’ve practiced against/with has called it an “infidelity clause” but any attorney you say “cheating clause” to will understand what you’re asking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 06:37 PM
9

NO! You cannot put custody arrangements or child support in prenups. Ever. It’s against public policy. This is the type of bad legal advice that I hate to see on reddit and why I say do NOT rely and to go to an attorney in your state.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 03:21 PM
26

Also wanted to add that there’s a such thing as POSTnuptual agreements in case you’ve recently married and wished that you’d made an agreement. Same rules as a prenup except obviously if he doesn’t agree, then you have no recourse to force it. Very useful tool if you come into surprise money or a career becomes surprisingly successful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 04:13 AM
91

Hiii, it’s your friendly local family law attorney! Please be aware that in most states, it’s a requirement that he give you an appropriate amount of time to take the prenup for legal review prior to the wedding or else it can be found voidable. Aka no asking you to sign the night before the wedding or else he won’t go through with it. In addition, many states will not permit alimony waivers (“if we divorce, I promise not to seek alimony”) even though men try to draft them in. Divorce law is so …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 03:52 AM
211

Listen, nobody told him to date a woman that could buy him twice. He saw a gorgeous, success driven woman who deserves to be treated and now that he thinks he’s hooked her, he thinks he can start asking her to help him woo her? Nah. As an aside, an attorney making that much at that age is working like a fucking dog in NYC. I’m talking 12-16 hour days. She doesn’t need the stress of worrying about some dude pinching pennies or trying to beg her into being a cheaper date. And frankly, she doesn’t …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 07:53 PM
125

It’s not ironic at all. Sex work is not a necessity. Not having garbage flood the streets absolutely is. Even pro-sex work people would panic if they knew the inherent risks associated and could think beyond “everyone should get their rocks off”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 05:36 PM
374

Sex work is more dangerous than nearly every type of “icky” job we could think about. On top of having fewer workplace protections and getting zero respect from the general populace, unlike sewer cleaners and garbage people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 04:18 PM
79

A man cannot be high value if he brings his family around and they act like this. I don’t care about “you can’t pick your family!1!! Waaaah!” If he willingly brings people around that disrespect you, talk down to you, don’t approve of you, then he’s not high value. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Some of my husband’s family is pretty toxic and some are racist. In 15+ years, I’ve never once met his racist family members and he’s cut off the toxic ones I met previously without a trace. If his family has a problem with you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 10:31 PM
108

Listen, I’m married to my high school sweetheart, almost 15 years down the line. We literally never talk about high school beyond the odd anecdote when we run into a former classmate. The love we had for each other in high school is nothing compared to the mutual respect, adoration, and genuine feelings that we share now. And I say that knowing that we had a very intense, healthy relationship then. If a guy is stuck on HS and he’s 22+, then he’s stunted. Like, he has nothing going for him so he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 04:00 PM
102

It’s because a hit dog hollers and they’re getting their asses torn up over here. Before I even found this sub, me and my husband lived by FDS dealing with our family and friends. He loves the screenshots I share from this sub and I think he’s even more ruthless than I am about not tiptoeing around my girlfriends’ feelings when they come over to complain to us about their relationships. He is the king of “dump and block that loser who doesn’t deserve you.” ...funnily enough, my friends blow off …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 03:41 PM
74

Lmao. You’re my kinda lady. Last week on our holiday zoom call, my SIL’s lily white bf was talking about being an ally and I checked him with my whole spirit about consistently saying the n-word around everyone else but me and my husband (my parents-in-law snitched via text when he said it to them after they also called him out but he demurred) as well as having Trump supporting friends. If you do the above, you aint an ally. You’re a beneficiary of the white patriarchy with a tourist visa in be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 12:27 AM
17

Ding ding ding! This is the only way to view marriage. Love is fabulous, fantastic, and wonderful, but it’s a contract. Take it from a former divorce attorney: this is the truth
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 12:10 AM
208

BINGO! It’s never black women being liberal and dating conservative men; it’s non-BWOC and white women. I had a former friend tell me she wanted to do stuff to support BLM and I told her she should’ve started with her racist, Trump loving husband. She knew he was a Trump supporter while they were dating, still married him and had the audacity to call herself a good ally. Ma’am, your vagina is harboring a beacon of racism and misogyny nightly. 💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 12:05 AM
191

On the flip side, I highly recommend using this time to get to know other women in your area right now. I’ve reconnected with old acquaintances and women that I had a brief interest in prior to the pandemic and have felt insanely fulfilled. A few days ago, I had a zoom call that lasted almost 5 hours with a woman I had only met in person 2 or 3 times, just talking and getting to know each other without any pressure. I’m a very friendly person, but we clicked in a way that I haven’t with another …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 05:08 PM
27

My father is in the same dating boat as you and your friend. My mom died in an incredibly traumatic way and he’s pretty religious and never wants to get married or cohabit again. He still enjoys taking his girlfriend out, paying for trips, gift giving, and just in general enjoying the benefits of dating a gorgeous, intelligent, well-travelled woman who also isn’t interested in moving from her established neighborhood and community. I think this mechanic actually works really well for a lot of pe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 11:26 PM
130

Could y’all imagine a woman bragging about one of her girlfriends simply hugging and listening to her while she cried??? Not to be a one-upper, but when my girlfriend simply broke up with her NVM bf of 2 months, me and our other bff drove over an hour and a half one way at 2 am with supplies to watch movies, make ice cream sundaes and remind her that she’s a star with no complaints or hesitation. We gotta expect more from men or we end up being thrilled when they aren’t actively rubbing dirt in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 08:00 PM
32

In certain professions, it’s an unfortunate reality that networking always takes place in bars or back rooms of restaurants. I have colleagues (legal profession) who are recovering alcoholics and thus haven’t been to networking or alumni events for years because they won’t hold them in places without open bars. I imagine it’s probably similar for most white collar careers that deal with clients/pretty large amounts of $$$.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 05:04 PM
49

Yes! Black women deserve to live luxurious, care-free lifestyles without any questions from annnnnybody about what we could or could not do with our money. Period. I’m proud of you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 04:55 PM
98

Lmao, we fucking wish! No, men will fuck their weird lil sex bots, then keep harassing us. They get their kicks from torturing sentient beings that they have physical and psychological power over.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 09:31 PM
62

My husband is the main breadwinner but he also has an insane amount of time off as he works from home and is higher-up in his company. He cleans, organizes, builds, improves, etc on his days off and in any down time. Sometimes, I call him on his lunch break while I’m at the office to say hi, and he’ll be doing something like building and sanding some shelving that I’d mentioned being interested in off-hand. He’d be the ultimate househusband if we had kids, except he said he’d be bummed that he c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 06:28 PM
24

Man. It was roughly the opposite in my relationship. My husband sponged up sooo many of my characteristics/hobbies because I have had so many interests over the years and he is typically interested or curious about everything I do. He’s supremely high value, but men are just naturally kinda boring to begin with. He worked, read books, built computers, listened to classical music and played soccer when we met. Yes, we were in high school but that was literally all he did until we started dating. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 03:31 PM
108

Super easy red flags to spot: Does he make it a point to tower over women during conversation? - if yes, he’s trying to keep her in her place/establish dominance Does he pick up his phone/turn his head/cut her off/start new conversations every time a woman opens up her mouth about something that isn’t a direct compliment to him? - if yes, he doesn’t value women in general Does he call women out of their names casually? - if yes, same as above.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 06:37 PM
325

27 is still a damn baby! What does he want her to look like? A girl fresh out of high school??? Sounds like he’s already setting himself up to prey on young women for the rest of his life if he’s already wanting to “trade-in” for a younger model when the woman he’s dating has only just fully matured.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 02:53 PM
77

I hope people are pointing out how disgusting it is that OP’s older brother, who is also related to the pornstar cousin by blood, was willing to look up porn of her to show the husband. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 01:54 PM
16

But, he had to go into her locked phone to access her private Twitter rants. It’d be like a man breaking the lock on your diary to read your suicidal thoughts, then someone claiming that you were faking those feelings to manipulate him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 05:22 AM
15

He’s ranting and raving about how little time he has, but I’ve ordered gifts to be delivered while: sitting on the toilet, in an elevator, walking from my car in the parking lot into my office, listening to my dad talk about his new job on speakerphone, and even while waiting for my microwave to beep. There’s a lot of dead time he could’ve done it, but he didn’t. If he wanted to, he would. But instead, he’s praying the narcissist’s prayer and making it her fault that he couldn’t be assed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 07:36 PM
11

And it’s at best 75-79c per every dollar a white man makes since the pay gap statistics get worse when broken down by race! Black women make around 62 cents for every dollar. Latina women make only 55c for every dollar. Equal Pay Day for non-Hispanic white women was April 2. Our (Black women’s) Equal Pay Day in 2019 was August 22. Last year, Latina Equal Pay Day fell on November 20th. It literally took almost 23 months to make what the avg. white man makes in just one single year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 02:25 PM
34

If you don’t have kids, do NOT date men with children. The only exception, and even then it’s only sometimes, is widowers. Once a man has a child with a woman, I truly think that he believes that he’s entitled to her unending love, support and body until the day she dies. It doesn’t matter if they each get married to other people, she has new kids, etc. Men think that at any moment, a “baby mama” ought to be ass up when he asks allll because he got her up the duff once.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 08:48 PM
260

Lmao, does she think that those same men “Who Were Going To Make [them] Wives” haven’t also been running around creating a metric shit ton of single mothers?? laughs in former divorce attorney
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 08:06 PM
244

This is why I keep telling people not to have children until they’re ready, willing and able in every way to be single mothers. Once you have a child and especially once you start staying home with the child, a man will snap on a whoooole new face. He’s got you trapped. He doesn’t have to do shit for you to be attached to him for the rest of your lives. So there’s no need to be nice, put in effort, or really even do the bare minimum for you. He already got what he wanted: you feeling the lowest …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 05:20 PM
3

While I haven’t done much (read: hardly any) plaintiff’s work regarding workplace injuries, I do recall that OSHA doesn’t cover independent contractors, which all the “talent” is. The producers and lighting folks definitely could though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 06:00 PM
41

Yes, it’s absolutely embarrassing to have to go into your local government building and register as a sex worker. Even if it’s only briefly, that’s a public record & stigma that’ll follow her around forever. And, anyway, the vast majority of women in German brothels aren’t German; they’re young women from Eastern Europe who have often been forced into selling their bodies. And Eastern Europeans are already treated poorly in the West. Due to Covid-19, a lot of them are currently homeless because …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 12:57 AM
65

And while I’m here, even in areas where sex work is legal, particularly in Germany, while there are “””protections””” for the women, they are taken advantage of, only legally this time. They must pay rent to the madame of the brothel, pay out of pocket for preferred condoms and lube, pay for their lingerie. They had to deal with gang-bang parties if the madame told them to, embarrass themselves by having to go in and register as a sex worker, and they don’t even get to set their own fucking pric…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 10:00 PM
33

Because the states don’t want to extend OSHA to this line of work. Why? Because it’s disgusting, demeaning, and they don’t want to legitimize it by providing protections or attaching their name to legislation that could be construed as providing protections. And of course, they hate prostitutes, porn stars and sex workers for being women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 09:50 PM
111

Now listen here, you done struck on something I’ve been going off about for Y E A R S! There wouldn’t be any safety requirements for ANY job were it not for workers striking + lobbying and the government responding in kind. I mean, we had amputee and black-lunged kids running around in the early parts of the 20th century due to a lack of workplace standards and child labor laws. Now peep this, instead of the Cali government heeding the facts and studies of scientists lobbying for mandatory condo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 09:32 PM
9

I hate that phrase because it likens women to objects, YET AGAIN. But more importantly, do men think that they’re low maintenance? Last I checked, women aren’t the ones expecting food hot on the table 3x a day, house cleaned, laundry washed, socks mended, kids taken care of, a full time job worked, and ass up at the end of the night from our partners. But a woman getting her nails done 1x every 2 weeks and taking an extra 15 minutes a day to put on a bit of makeup is high maintenance? True 🤡 shi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 09:20 PM
312

I tried this back in college and it worked a couple times. One guy was trying to holler at me after a night out with my girlies and I said “You can’t affooord me!” Would you believe this mf-er whipped out a pocketful of tens and twenties and fanned them out like that change was gonna do something for me. 💀 I didn’t even know what to say to that because I’d never expected a man to try 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 09:07 PM
46

“You’re pretty for a black girl. You ever been with a [insert race/religion] guy before?” 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 09:02 PM
40

A lot of the times, I call liberal feminism “college white woman feminism” because it completely lacks any sort of meaningful nuance or intersectionality. They scream for sex work being freeing while little brown girls are sold by their parents for nickels to be raped and given STDS by men old enough to be their grandfathers. They yell over black folks and silence our opinions on police misconduct because their white savior complexes tell them to treat non-whites paternally as though we do not k…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 04:59 PM
16

Okay so to start, she’s a brilliant and driven woman. She’s an AP teacher with a couple of masters degrees in childhood development and secondary education. She did all that by about 26. Her fiancé was 35, uggo, had only just gotten his bachelors in education despite coming from $$, couldn’t commit to a job field for longer than a year, and had a bad habit of scaring the shit out of her (similar to the guy who scared his wife while she was cooking and injured her via her cutting and burning hers…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 04:31 PM
42

There’s a few apps for finding likeminded career women. Idk what your career is, but there’s an app called Fishbowl for attorneys to meet and speak with one another. I know Bumble has the BFF feature, which shows age, school, and career which can be a fast filter for meeting women in different fields who would be likeminded as well. Then, there’s more organic methods! If you’re interested in a book club or a community cooking class, then that’d be a good method. My alumni associations have littl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 02:31 PM
15

For sure! I’m always down for help + advice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 02:19 PM
176

This may sound classist, but whatever. Due to our education levels/careers, my husband and I are surrounded by men and women who are in similar situations. Mostly mid-senior level software developers, Rns, attorneys, doctors, etc. Men can be garbage no matter how much money they make, but the more higher education a woman has, the more likely she is to be radicalized. So many women in high powered careers think the way we do, because 1) we’ve got our own and don’t want anyone who won’t be contri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 12:57 PM
4

Little pinch. Less painful than a long period cramp. Maybe 1/10 cramps for 2-3 days. I had spotting for about 10 days. Then nada. And my sex drive is flawless compared to bc pills and the nuva ring; it’s basically like if I wasn’t on bc except no periods, better skin, and more stable moods. I asked my gyno about the horror stories and he said it’s because a lot of gynos don’t care enough to take the time to do ultrasounds to determine best placement for each individual woman based on their uteru…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 09:31 PM
6

I can just imagine how painful the surgical solutions are. I mean, we’ve all heard soooo many horror stories about iud placements and the pain for months and constant bleeding. And I just expected to be down for the count like all my friends because that’s what women do. We just suffer all sorts of side effects and shittiness just so men can get their rocks off in us. But when I got my IUD placed at like 11 am on my lunch break, I was out getting dinner and drinking by that night. It’s the close…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 09:05 PM
136

I’m so confused. He lets his friends say she’s ugly? And they’re still his friends?? Also, he’d rather fuck a cold, inanimate object made to look like a woman that can’t fight him off than his warm, willing, young wife? I know it’s not the same, but I’ve always felt men who get those dolls have a necrophilia or somnopholia kink because they must be getting off on the fact that it’s defenseless and can’t do anything about it. My mans would never 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 08:38 PM
29

I might be dating myself a little, but this is why I used to love John shaming pages in newspapers. They’d post their mugshots in the back of the paper and shame them for soliciting prostitutes. No bigger motivator than your boss potentially seeing your ugly mug on the newspaper for trying to fuck underaged girls in the red light district
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 08:29 PM
19

TL;DR: Stop patting men on the back and saying they are good people who deserve props just for contributing money. But that’s not what I said. What I said was that it’s unacceptable for men to believe that they are on equal footing with the mothers/doing their share by just contributing money. It needs to be acknowledged that while what they’re doing by paying the court ordered minimum, and it is minimum because that’s the rule of law in every family law court in the US, is better than literally…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 05:27 PM
74

But that’s the thing, men think that by tossing a few measly dollars at the mother and child, that they’re contributing fairly. That’s. Not. True. Single mothers do not solely provide financial support. They provide emotional support, physical support, educational support, etc. And men only throwing bucks and never seeing a child actively works against a child’s development, creating abandonment issues and affecting the child’s self worth. Finances consist of maybe 10% of what a child needs but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 05:06 PM
46

Men already have the option not to become a father and it’s easy as fuuuuck to do. Get a vasectomy on his lunch break and freeze some swimmers if he wants to be a parent down the line. My husband offered that multiple times throughout the years before we finally settled on me getting an iud until we feel ready for a family. Why? Because we both believe family planning should primarily rest in..ahem...unloading the gun as opposed to just putting on a bulletproof vest. For us, it just so happened …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 04:59 PM
87

They’re watching YouTube channels on how to become successful, which tells them to use Tinder, Bumble, etc to promote their “business,” which is problematic as dating sites obviously have a lot about you. They’re also advising them to play up the sorority girl schtick with letters, so now they’re petrified that a) they’re going to get kicked out for violating standards, b) they’re going to get cut off by their parents who support them, c) they’re going to get kicked out of school, d) they’re nev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 04:47 PM
192

Except at least with a student loan, you’re guaranteed that money. Girls (and they ARE girls) from my college sorority have reached out to me for their legal options after some lowlifes posted their OF content on a diff site with their names and location. And when I ask them how much they’ve made, it’s N O T H I N G. Most of them said they made between 2-3 hundred dollars in a few months, maaaaybe 500 bucks. Less than a half a grand to have their nude pictures pulled up every time an employer pu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 04:12 PM
3

Wtf? That’s an automatic break-up with no hesitation; I don’t play about my safety and anger issues are the brightest, biggest, scariest red flags there are. And men who destroy their own homes/property out of anger also show a lack of restraint, intelligence, and care that should have you running for the hills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 05:10 PM
53

As an attorney, I can squint and see the speech argument, however, there’s not an absolute right to free speech and Visa and MasterCard aren’t the gov’t. P*rnhub, as a website for viewing pornography, caters solely to prurient interests and would fail the standard test for gov’t free speech anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 05:04 PM
180

I’ve told my single friends this multiple times. Any man that had to verbally tell you that he’s dominant and the head of the home is a poser and a pretender. If a man wants to “lead,” he’ll just...let his actions speak for themselves by providing without you needing to ask via paying for everything, taking extra steps to secure your safety and future, etc. If he’s going on and on about being dominant, it’s because he’s lacking self-confidence somewhere in his life and he’s trying to claim out o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 02:08 PM
37

Lmao. He’s sooooo hurt that she wouldn’t give him half of a second glance if she saw him walking down the street so he’s preemptively trying to drag her worth down.😂😂😂 Oh weeeeeell, guess she’ll just have to cry all alone in her gorgeous home that probably also decorated fabulously while he stays in Mommy’s basement, surrounded by McDonald’s bags and empty coke cans.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 07:44 PM
95

Yoooo, this didn’t happen. This might be the didn’t happenest thing I’ve ever read in my fucking life. How many men would even know the word “puckish?” Let alone how to use it correctly in a sentence? 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 06:29 PM
33

Can I see a show of hands in who believes this useless sack of shit waited until that child was 18 to start trying to fuck her? Nobody? Good. 100% he’s been sniffing at her, trying to angle his way into ruining that girl’s life since she was 14/15.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 09:56 PM
14

We believe my husband has some form of parasomnia when his very much diagnosed insomnia is acting up and he’s to the level of 3-4 days of no sleep before crashing after taking a bucketload of his sedative medication (Ambien.)He’s carried on full, important conversations when on-call for work that he has no memory of and I believe he might have some form of sexsomnia, but not at all like this. It’s less rapey and more like the sleep talking that he normally has on Ambien; essentially, he’ll “wake…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 02:36 PM
21

Men are so fucking stupid about their vanity that they’re willing to risk cancer and intense suicidal thoughts in order to keep their hair when they could’ve taken preventative measure a few years earlier. When we were younger, my husband noticed some thinning and went to see about his options. Doctors immediately started pushing this drug that is known to cause prostate cancer (has a black box label and everything) instead of discussing starting rogaine or something less dangerous because men a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 03:46 PM
14

3x a week but low libido? 🤔🤔🤔 Sounds like an excuse for jackrabbiting and putting in zero effort. I’m guessing the rubbing is also the vigorous kind that guys use to get Cheeto dust off their fingers onto their stiff ass jeans.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 03:07 PM
41

Retweet. As a black woman, it’s astounding how many gay men who I’ve just met feel entitled to my body. No, you can’t smack my ass just because you like men too. No, you can’t grope my tits to “see how they feel” because you kiss guys. Not to mention the constant misogynistic language. I’ve had to school gay men and remind them that they’re not immune from toxic masculinity. No, you can’t tower over me and call me a fucking bitch if I don’t agree with you. No, you can’t joke about fighting me; y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 02:09 PM
10

Originally, it was used in literary works as an abbreviation for simpleton, as in someone stupid. Then it fell out of use. In the late 80’s/early 90’s, it was coined as a rhyming antonym to pimp in rap songs, giving it the meaning of someone who is used by women instead of using women. Having no clear relation to the usage of simpleton. The definition you’re talking about- simp short for simpering- derived from the introduction of the simp definition from rap. Baltimore Sun Link on the etymology…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 05:56 AM
15

But it’s literally not though? Just because culture vultures have found a part of a minority culture and repackaged it for their purposes doesn’t mean they created it. See also: fleek, Becky, Karen, twerk teams
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:54 AM
23

There used to be women like her in the church I grew up in who would gossip about little girls (11,12,13) who were gangly little angels, just beginning to develop. They’d call them “fast” for continuing to wear the overall dresses of our youth because suddenly they had teeny little hips pressing against the denim. Or snicker about how a young girl wasn’t sitting like a lady because 3 months ago, she was flat as a board child who was unaware that men might be peeping at her innocent knees. They’d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 02:54 AM
126

I’m about to sound so old and crotchety but these youths took old AAVE and made it something it’s not. Back when I was a little girl, simp was a word for a man who would do shit like lie about literally anything from jobs, age, housing situation, etc, would flash money at women they were interested in, would do anything the degrade other men in front of a woman to make himself look good to that woman, despite being a POS. The roots are misogynistic, of course, as SIMP stands for someone idolizin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 02:12 AM
117

The husband definitely did not say that. The mom is threatened by a child dressing in clothes appropriate for the weather because she knows her shit-for-brains, unfaithful husband has a wandering eye and potentially wandering hands. She didn’t say it for anyone’s safety but as an attempt at preserving her sham of a marriage. If your husband can’t see a bit of ankle without having uncontrollable lustful thoughts, he’s a actual savage and you need to leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:59 PM
10

I don’t know what your availability is like with kids and all or what your specialty is, but retail and restaurants are begging for people for holiday hours. Otherwise, I’ve heard Uber/Lyft aren’t the safest gigs for women so I’d suggest you get some pepper spray and/or install a good thick barrier between the front seat and back seat if you want to go that route.
/r/askFDS09/12/20 09:06 PM
212

Yes, ma’am! You are nobody’s second choice or consolation prize. He can crawl right back in that dumpster where trash like him belongs and “be fine thanks”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 05:39 PM
72

Facts! This is a big issue in the black community, which is where both Twitter users are coming from. I’ve talked about my dad previously; he’s always getting compliments on how well he and my mother raised me as well as the accomplishments that I’d achieved at a pretty young age (barred attorney and homeowner by 24.) He’s always demurred and said he provided the best support he could but all these things I did were because I was brilliant. If he starts drinking, he’ll get onto other older men a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 05:36 PM
25

Right!?! My husband is somewhat friendly to my gal pals. Before the pandemic, he’d either: go out with the whole group (m+w) to a moderately priced restaurant or invite one or two friends and SOs to our house to hang out after he and I had dinner for a while to catch up. He’s even done me a favor and picked up a couple of my friends and family members to run errands when their cars were broken down and I was too busy at work to handle it. But to pick one of them up, drive them hours, and pay for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 05:27 PM
80

Have y’all seen the British YouTube documentary-ish video about what happened when the UK made it legal to get viagra without a prescription? My husband and I were astonished that 18 and 19 year olds were just popping pills all willy-nilly; we were that age a little more than 10 years ago and he would accidentally get hard if he leant down and smelled my hair for too long! ETA: it made ED occur in the men’s early 20s, which concerned the hell out of doctors. That shit is not normal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 02:52 PM
18

“I’ll marry you, but first you not only gave to let me fuck another woman, but you’ve got to recruit her and participate as well.” This man is a keeper. Truly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 02:03 AM
96

Did y’all peep how they described that innocent, unable-to-hold-his-head-up baby as “spend[ing] the next two hours flirting with nurses in the Le Bonheur ED.” 🤮🤮🤮 Starting early with assigning the baby a garbage gender role perpetuating the patriarchy, huh?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 11:35 PM
17

Yeah, my mother passed when I was grown and my dad waited over a year to tell me he might want to casually start going out with women, but only after sitting down and speaking to me about my feelings and how things were progressing with our grief counselors. Then, I didn’t meet a woman that he felt comfortable introducing me to until over a year later. They spoke to me and explained that neither of them were interested in ever remarrying as she wants her freedom (has her own money, career and ho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 08:18 PM
29

Or, in this case, teaching his son low value behaviors. This boy is going to be immensely emotionally stunted and destroyed and he’s gonna pass that on to every woman he meets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 05:02 PM
89

My husband would neeeeveeeeer 🤮 All this shows is that he doesn’t think that her efforts are worth anything. That her cooking and efforts are essentially worthless. He thinks the time, energy and effort are worthless and that he’s doing her a favor by cooking for him. If it’s one thing men have, it’s the motherfucking audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 01:21 AM
84

Absolutely not. Are you close to relatives/ do you have somewhere to stay? There’s a pyramid of the escalation of abuse in DV situations and this falls under the middle umbrella of lowering your self-value and right before the actual physical abuse begins (if it hasn’t started already). This includes pushing, shoving, shoulder checking, pinching, popping, throwing non-lethal items, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 06:05 PM
54

They don’t give actually give a single shit. They’re either trying to get woke points for being the first company to investigate OR they’re concerned with getting the blowback from the article and still being attached to the website. But still, it’s still a step in the correct direction and I hope everyone else falls in line. Wokefishing or not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 01:54 AM
10

It’s like ppl forget the origins of a common law marriage. It was for people who lived in rural areas where you wouldn’t see a preacher/pastor for months or years (back when parishes were a real thing,) travelling was an extreme hassle for days, and you were far away from other governmental buildings, so it was damn near impossible to actually get married. Not for people who get the heebie-jeebies at actual commitment. And that’s why some jurisdictions are removing common law- it’s outdated as h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 04:28 PM
14

This! But also if you live in a state, country or territory that recognizes common law marriage, then it’s typically a requirement to hold themselves out to the general public as husband and wife for the statutory length of time. In the states I’m barred in, though, there is no more common law marriage, so those ppl have no legitimate reason aside from wanting to look respectable
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:18 PM
12

I’ve said it here before, but I’d never advise anyone to date a lawyer. They’re typically extremely privileged and even if they’re not, they’ve been groomed since they were young that they’re better, smarter, and more hardworking than everyone else. So they’ve got huge egos and couldn’t imagine that a layperson could possible be right and themselves wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 02:09 AM
13

It’s more about making sure that you don’t let him get the feeling that you’re just waiting on him to fill up your time. You don’t want to give off the vibe of constant availability as it’ll make him feel that he doesn’t have to put in work to keep your attention. If you’re trying to find things to do, I’d advise that you make time for yourself, if possible, which sounds weird considering how alone everyone’s been this last year. In addition, I’ve had some friends pick up Bumble BFF to meet othe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 07:14 PM
37

Benefits? The benefit of being with you is getting to be with you. You don’t need to be exchanging anything to a man you’re dating to provide any type of benefit. Don’t make yourself constantly available for some dude you just started dating or even a guy you’ve been dating seriously. He should never stop wooing you or finding ways to make you special and having a standing date to do the same thing once a week definitely lulls men into a sense of complacency by putting you in a position to be re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:53 PM
23

Back before it got cold, my husband took me upstate to do some fall activities every other weekend in September and October. We explored an orchard, picked some apples, drank hot cider, then on the way back into the city, we’d hit a couple of new vineyards each time. It was nice to just talk and connect with each other while strolling through the rows or looking up at the stars. It was outside, fun, and not the same old dinner and a movie formula. Normally, we attend outdoor festivals 2-3x a mon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:36 PM
49

I’m a BW married to a WM. Lemme just say, the fact that he felt comfortable enough to ask her to do that, should’ve been her cue to exit stage left. On top of standard bdsm being denigrating to women, there’s the added racist element of acting out the historical r*pes that occurred throughout slavery (see: Sally Hemings.) I deal with enough racism, implicit biases, and micro aggressions out in the world every day; I’m not dealing with it in my bed too. My husband would never.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 01:43 PM
73

He basically fell in my lap when we were teenagers. His sister and I were on the same Rec sports team, he saw me, got to wooing, I gave him my number and the rest is history. I unintentionally followed FDS at like 15 because I only had the barest interest in boys before my husband showed up and showed tf out. He used to get up a couple hours early to either buy or make me breakfast and drive me to school so I didn’t have to ride the bus, despite attending community college across town in lieu of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:58 AM
133

Almost 15 years in, and my husband still likes to plan out surprise dates because neither of us believe just sitting around watching tv or coffee counts as a date. He once asked me to take a day off work on a whim. He got us tickets for an East Asian art exhibit that I’d mentioned being interested in, then made reservations for a Japanese restaurant that’d just opened and had a lobster ramen (my absolute fav 😋). If he’s truly HV, he should listen to you and take an interest in your activities an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 04:22 AM
277

If y’all listen to nothing else, please, please, PLEASE stop buying houses with boyfriends and fiancés! I don’t care if you’re getting married the week after closing. I don’t care if you know you’ll be together forever. I don’t care if your parents give you a down payment. Anything can happen and the dead last thing you want to do is be stuck in home ownership with someone you can’t stand while you can’t use the courts to force a sale like in a divorce action. The courts will not help you play h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 03:53 AM
58

I’m chiming in to say DO NOT invite folks to your house for dinner if you cannot cook. Don’t do it. You will get your feelings hurt and you’ll be lucky is someone doesn’t order Uber eats to your spot. I had a girlfriend hype up her man’s steak and macaroni for months. She invited us several times and I finally gave in for a Christmas party; I went over there and the food turned to ashes in my mouth. He looked at the three bites I took and started pouting. I told him I just wasn’t hungry but he k…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 03:31 AM
8

Especially now that Instagram has stories, which happened more than 4 years ago. I had Snapchat to periodically look at what my friends and family were doing back in the day because Snap stories were the easiest way to keep abreast of loved ones without constantly texting, but after Instastories became a thing... I forgot about it. I actually just realized I never actually deleted Snapchat when I was upgrading to the new iPhone last week and saw that lil ghost icon in my cloud transfer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 10:16 PM
352

Snapchat is a cheating man’s favorite. Idc, idc! There is no reason for a grown man to have Snapchat. There’s a million ways to communicate with others digitally but you just happen to favor one that leaves behind minimal traces? If you’re dating and suddenly he downloads Snapchat, just go ahead, grab your shit and block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 02:10 PM
16

I interpreted it as her sending everyone she cares about the same holiday poem in their cards a la Shutterfly seasonal greetings cards as opposed to personalized poems for each person. Lol, a fling definitely wouldn’t merit a specialized poem dedicated directly to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 06:57 PM
59

It sounds like she’s not that into him and that she’s planning on ditching him before Christmas, tbh. That’s why she had to demur on him getting a poem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 04:54 PM
4

So this is a two-prong question. 1) I see what you’re saying RE: abuse victims, however, there’s still the opportunity to provide evidence that one was abused or that this was a form of marital rape. It’s up to the judges to suss that out in one form or another. 2) Civil cases and criminal cases have completely different standards of proof. A rape case is criminal and has the standard of proof set as beyond a reasonable doubt, which is somewhere around 95-99% depending on who you ask. In additio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 03:45 PM
23

Fun fact: one of the shittiest states in the Union actually has one of the best takes on this. The TX HB 2789 was signed into law last year and makes it unlawful [to send electronically: unsolicited sex acts, nudes, dick pics, or images of hard dicks covered in fabric but not explicitly shown] as a Class C misdemeanor (up to $500) fine. I believe Cali also has a bill in the works.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 03:26 PM
5

What? No. That’s a really simplistic way of looking at the law aside from the outright perjury, which could result in the judge having less faith in her for the rest of the case and diminish her outcome should they not reach a settlement agreement before the final hearing. There are a million ways to prove reconciliation and condonation besides a video recording. The standard of proof for evidence in a divorce case is a preponderance of the evidence which means that more likely than not that it …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 03:14 PM
10

I’m from the Dirty South; I’ve had it happen to me at a daggone gas station as well 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:52 PM
20

I’ve had men airdrop the link to their damn SoundCloud at concerts before and thought that was the worst! Did you adjust your Airdrop settings to contacts only after that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:03 PM
16

Hey, so this is a biiiit of a misunderstanding on your part. Lemme preface by saying I’m a lawyer in the SE but did research how to become barred in CA during the last election cycle, so I’m somewhat familiar. It’s not so much justifying to the court as getting a default judgment. In all my years, I’ve never seen a judge not grant a divorce. Basically, if the spouse won’t sign, you have to either be able to plead your grounds (the hearing you’re referencing) OR have lived apart for at least a ye…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 09:58 PM
102

Well, you’re in luck! GA is one of the states that I’m barred in and I’ve primarily practiced family law during my career. I’d be happy to lay out a little groundwork if you shoot me a PM.
/r/askFDS02/12/20 07:53 PM
68

In most states, it has impact, yes. There’re a few theories that negate an at-fault divorce (all 50 states have no-fault divorce options but in ~33 states, you can still get a divorce based on fault allocation) and condonation is one of them. Basically, the theory is, you can’t allege that you’re getting a divorce based on your partner’s adultery 8 months after you found out about it if you started sleeping with your partner and reconciling afterwards. Meaning that if you file for an at-fault di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 07:51 PM
269

Let me tell you what! It doesn’t get any better than this from a divorce attorney’s side. The mistress’s mother posting a holiday dinner photo on her own personal Facebook is even better than a private detective or a GPS tracker! It cost 0 dollars AND the judge can’t even get huffy about invasion of privacy or spending marital funds to catch the cheater. Her salvation literally fell directly into her timeline! Now, she just has to make sure she doesn’t fumble the bag by sleeping with him or atte…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 06:39 PM
22

And your step mom didn’t leave?! After her husband sexualized her daughter? A child that he had readily available access to? WTF was she thinking?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 05:25 PM
64

It’ll help if you put your state, # of kids, and length of marriage to get you pointed in the right direction. Divorce law has nuances and changes from state to state and advice + strategy definitely varies based on the other factors as well. And take anything a layperson says with a spoonful of salt! There’s a lot of things that are repeated as dogma on reddit that will truly eff you over in a court of law.
/r/askFDS02/12/20 03:39 PM
27

How much more clearly does he need to tell her that he doesn’t give a shit about her feelings or pleasure for her to receive the message? Like, he likened you to an object. He understands. He. Just. DGAF. Either you bounce or you get the joy of dry penetration for the rest of your life. You pick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 03:13 PM
37

And, tbh, it’s generally going to be white men who have hang ups like this. Non-white people have grown up eating the food of our own cultures while also having to eat the “””normal””” (aka Anglo white) foods that are typically accessible to us so we generally know food from other cultures is delicious. This is one of the perils of interracial dating, aside from outright racism from him and/or his family and constant microaggressions. ETA: anyone who says “nasty” to food that is well-prepared an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 03:07 PM
57

Military men are already highly sus on account of the culture in the barracks and when they’re deployed. Couple that with the r*pe and abuse doled out to the enlisted women and it’s despicable. Throuple that with drinking and you’ve got a powder keg just waiting to explode. According to a VA study, approximately 22% of active duty service members perpetrated some form of intimate partner violence in just the single year they studied. That’s more than 1/5. And that’s just what’s reported. And hon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 09:45 PM
30

I’m just stunned. None of my husband’s friends would say anything like that to him by himself let alone to me. He gets defensive if a man even raises his voice to me during a disagreement. But I guess our crowd just isn’t full of hormone fueled misogynistic incels.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 03:26 PM
2

Ok, fun-adjacent fact: in only a couple states (NH is the one I know for sure because I almost took that bar in 2015) all assets are considered subject to division, including those obtained prior to the marriage or inheritances. That’s the default. BUT, if you don’t want something subject to equitable division, you can argue your case to the judge.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 03:17 PM
159

This is why it’s so so soooo important not to marry bums. I did a divorce mediation in 2018. She put him through Pharm-D/PhD school at a pricey, reputable private university. Worked her ASS off with just a bachelor’s to put him through school. He graduated but was so much of a POS that even the pharmacy he did his internship at wouldn’t take him. So he sat at home and smoked weed. She had the son he begged for. This man sat at home, did a little part time Uber here and there then had the audacit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 02:26 AM
45

The Eurocentric beauty standard strikes again. Surprise, surprise 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 01:24 AM
23

Nah, they’re fine financially. They’re business owners with at least one store front in a populous East Coast city. He just didn’t care enough to do anything for a decade and a half because it didn’t matter to him. And when he did finally do something, it was for internet clout. And now he’s begging for endorsements and a house from Oprah because people eat this shit up 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 07:10 PM
19

That part! All this man has given her is heartache, a diamond chip ring, and babies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 07:08 PM
46

I co-sign looking at the flair and raise you also reading the handbook to get what we’re about. From your post history, I’m assuming you’re also an American black woman but correct me if I’m wrong. FDS goes against every struggle love story that we were spoon fed as little black girls and that’s why you should look deeper into it! We shouldn’t have to deal with the cheating, lying, side-chicks, fuckboi behavior of the black men we defend with our lives who turn around and tell us they prefer non…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 05:11 PM
166

Is that really a question?! YES. What kind of self-respecting woman would stay with a man who thinks it’s ok/funny for him and his buddies to piss on her? 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 04:54 PM
10

I’m married to a wonderful HVM who essentially fell into my lap when we were still in HS (we’ll be turning 31 next year) but if he passes or changes his ways, I don’t believe I’d ever marry again. The quality of men is so low and I believe that most HVM, like my husband, saw a good thing, locked it down and are happily taking care of business and thus are unavailable. I think that maybe...15-20% of relationships are what I would call healthy. As in, no cheating, good communication, no resentfuln…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 04:24 PM
137

20 dollars is a haircut. 20 dollars is an entree at Applebee’s. 20 dollars isn’t even a full tank of gas. This man couldn’t go without a single creature comfort to get up enough money to buy his wife a ring that wouldn’t irritate her skin. And he’s spun his selfishness into a tale of how virtuous she is for accepting his worthlessness for years and how alllll the women who know their worth are just gold diggers for not accepting the trash men try to present us. And the pickmes are out in full fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 03:21 PM
51

If my friends who are still dating NVM know nothing else, they know that I’ll square up on them if they confess to me that they want to have a baby with one. I feel like I’ve radicalized nearly all the women I know regarding having children, for fucking sure. It’s just not worth it for us. And we see it in the women we knew in high school who’ve been divorced 2x in 10 years and have been left impoverished with full custody of 3-4 kids whose dads have thrown them away like trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 01:26 AM
90

I’m not here to discourage you from having kids, just to make sure that women know that there’s other options aside from the default of having kids. Because these men ain’t SHIT. They just aren’t. And motherhood is a damn lie they’ve sold us to keep the human race going. That whole idea women have of daddy playing football outside in the yard with junior isn’t real. Sure, he’ll play with him maybe 3 weekends in the summer if you’re lucky, but in all honesty, that’s all he thinks he has to do to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 12:56 AM
277

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: having a child with men does something to them. They think they’ve got you now. It’s game over. No more trying because they think they’ve diminished your value enough that you’ll have nowhere to go as a single woman. In my years as a divorce attorney, I saw so many men just cease to view their wives as people after they began to see them as mothers. Then get shocked when the ex-wife has zero problem finding a man as soon as they separated. It’s not a lo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:29 PM
15

My parents were older and hated technology so I’d never gotten to play video games as a youth. My husband bought/cobbled together/built me my very first non-homework computer specifically because he thought I’d like Sims 2. Turns out I REALLY really like soft, pastel time management games like Overcooked, the Sims, etc. so he’s purchased me a ton of games and a variety of systems over the years to help make up for my digital-free childhood. He also never abandoned me for hours to play since we l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 01:27 PM
29

My husband bought me a house, doesn’t have to leave the house to work his 40 hour job, was paid to attend college and still finds the time to walk to the store to get me dead (but alive at the time!) roses. 🤪 OH! And he married me before doing allat. A man can have goals and still be ecstatic to treat you like a queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 04:16 AM
20

My husband not only took the time to watch videos and read about my hair (I’m black with extremely kinky-coily 4c/z hair, and he’s white with 1A hair) but when I install protective styles, he’ll offer to section my hair and/or hold up my back mirror to assist. He’ll also either sit in the master bathroom with me while I wash & style, which is a 2-3 hour ordeal, or set me up a “styling station” downstairs while I wrap up washing so I don’t have to be alone every wash day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 04:08 AM
138

Men have the audacity to call us basic when sportsball watching in men is so ubiquitous, that there’s at least 4 teams in every damn state and college/university💀 I get being obsessed with playing a game yourself but to dedicate hours upon hours of watching it every week? Get off your ass and actively do something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 11:18 PM
20

I started this hoping that it was clickbait and that they were actually playing a game together with him on the controller and actually talking/reasoning out their moves as the character. Shoulda known better than to trust the scrotes and anything but disappointment 🥲
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 10:14 PM
483

It’s because we aren’t seen as fully, realized individuals unless a man is involved. From birth, it’s all “one day your prince will come,” training women to be brood-mares until they die. It’s why nearly all movies with women fail the Bechdel-Wallace Test and its derivative tests. To men, women only exist to live for men It’s also why men mock traditionally “women’s” interests; they don’t see them as being real, valid, or interesting, but as placeholders until a man one day blesses you with his …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 10:10 PM
51

Preferably the second option, because learning sympathy is nigh on impossible for these men out here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 01:30 PM
20

Conservative men just cannot handle being checked by a woman and I can’t get down like that. And they especially can’t handle getting checked by an educated black woman. Plus, I find them to be less educated, combative, and ultimately...stupid; I just don’t know what else to call someone that can’t follow one train of thought without diverting multiple times to multiple unrelated topics in one single, unpunctuated, run-on sentence. I cut out friends who are married to self-proclaimed conservativ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 04:58 AM
26

I will take actual boatloads of liberal men wokefishing and voting in favor of women’s rights for fake points over conservative men any day of the week. They might both be shit, but at least one set isn’t actively trying to disenfranchise us and take us back to the coat hanger era.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 04:52 AM
70

She’s right, though. He thinks he’s married her because they’re acting like a married couple. Why would he put in the time, $$$, and effort to propose and plan a wedding when they’re buying and selling houses, paying off joint debts, and having somewhat risky sex without him lifting a finger?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 05:29 PM
251

??? Did he want her to throw him a party? Cuz I don’t think Party City sells “Great Job Nutting in Me” banners anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 03:40 PM
28

Never underestimate the power of a sincere thank you or a compliment. My husband just built me some custom closet organizers and when he was finished, I told him that I loved them and that they looked as though they’d been built by a professional. Express your appreciation without acting as though you don’t deserve it or like you’ve never had anyone do anything nice for you. Just look him in the eyes and say it like you mean it. You don’t have to hammer it over again and again throughout the wee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 02:05 AM
62

We actually met while we were still in high school a little over 15 years ago! We’ve been together since 2-3 months after our first meeting and married for 10 years. No games, no break-ups, nothing even close to cheating. He financially and emotionally supported me through all of my lowest lows, including law school 😂. He’s always been very committed to me and making me happy from the jump; my mother once pulled me aside when he and I were baking cookies in my kitchen around 17 and told me that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 10:10 PM
23

You had me in the first half, not gonna lie.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 05:35 PM
133

My husband spoils the hell out of me because he’s obsessed with me and everyone knows it. A couple of weeks ago, we went on a trip (he pays for and attends whatever trip I plan out) and he spent the entirety of our time taking photos of me having fun doing different activities. Some of his coworkers make fun of him because when he comes back from vacation, he only ever tells stories as they pertain to me and/or photos of me; he gives no shits and has multiple framed photos of me in his office bo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 04:14 PM
17

Asking you to cut up fruit and bring it?! Did he want you to change his diaper too? Presenting cut up fruit to someone is sacred and reserved only for those you truly love. That’s why there’s memes about moms and fruit 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 08:11 PM
35

That’s a hobosexual. They lay their heads wherever they can convince a woman to let them sleep. They don’t care about anything else about the woman as long as he can layup, eat, and play his Xbox all day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 08:04 PM
19

Like most things, it depends. I’m not close with my extended family due to drug use, narcissistic behaviors following a death in the family and proximity issues. I really only speak with my father but we’re quite close and spend tons of time together. But, I would consider myself to be very family oriented, just lacking in family with which to spend time aside from my partner. I wouldn’t call my husband family oriented though he has tons of siblings and extended family close by that love him. He…
/r/askFDS09/11/20 06:46 PM
15

Okaaaaay. I just want to say that this is a commentary on the politicking of black women in Western society, particularly relating to our hair. And I’m saying this so that people get the full breakdown of the video, not glazing over the actual social importance of what’s shown. Like, YES, the dude was tragic but the majority of the reason he was tragic is, like her friend that commented that she should grow an Afro like Beyoncé, said her hair was bad, and dragged her nasty hands through Sydney’s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 02:47 PM
15

Yeah...she was on some other shit. I think I get where she was going: that women shouldn’t have to take their kids 90% of the time just because society gets pissed if a woman doesn’t sacrifice all her life for her kids 24/7, but her delivery could use a lil work. Lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 06:40 PM
50

As I said in a different thread, men are typically shit caregivers to children. They want a gd medal for making box Mac n cheese while women work a full time job and get scolded for reheating a meatloaf she made the day before. And if they are single fathers, they’re quick to move onto the next woman ASAP because they can’t handle half the responsibility that a single mother can.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 04:36 PM
69

Same scrotes, different day. Meanwhile men are in my inbox saying “Noooooo! I would die for my kids!!!” Sir, tell it to someone who ain’t live it for 6 years 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 02:45 PM
20

I love that for you! 💕 I hope he takes helping mold your child as seriously as raising a child merits.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 02:29 PM
63

Unfortunately, I had to represent such men too often at my firm. 🙄 They all follow the same script. They’ll quit caring soon enough, either as soon as they get our $2500 bill for the first 2 weeks of the case or they’ll come crawling back for a modification of custody 8 months later because playing Mr. Mom is more tiring than expected.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 02:22 PM
142

Yes ma’am! It’s super common as well for men to get a new gf and act like papa of the year. All of a sudden at 11pm, he starts calling you to talk to the 2 year old that’s been asleep since 7:30pm, screaming about “YOU WON’T LET ME TALK TO MY CHILD!!1!” Dragging you into court because he suddenly “takes an interest” in the child. Boy, BYE! New mommy will get pregnant and all of a sudden they’ll want to swap the custody again 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 02:16 PM
31

And that’s a real damn shame. At my firm, there was a case where the father was literally jerking off into their oldest daughter’s (14 if I’m remembering correctly) socks. CONSISTENTLY. Also some other specific things I’ll choose not to divulge, but rest assured daughter was uncomfortable being alone in the house with dad. Mom reported to CPS m u l t i p l e times before coming to us. They did jack shit. When she came to us, we had to file an emergency protective order and the judge granted it i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 01:55 PM
33

You literally said, “what if the mom is unwilling and uncapable” wtf else would you call an alcoholic who had multiple DUIs with a child in the car? Because she clearly ain’t capable of making good decisions. Go fight with ya mama because I am not the one, two, or the three to be arguing with people who have no real world experience and aren’t willing to learn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 01:40 PM
52

??? I’m not shaming anyone. I worked in divorce law for years and just explained why weekend custody for moms usually doesn’t happen because I’m privy to knowledge and experiences that a lot of people in this group may not have. Like correcting the fact that you thought CPS could force compliance instead of just removing the kids. I literally laid out how a mom was unfit to take care of her child but wasn’t allowed to properly get her shit together for herself or her child because her shit-for-b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 12:57 PM
54

It’s a lot more complicated than just reporting to CPS. CPS is so bogged down with requests and cases of life threatening abuse that they’ll just waltz in, look around for food and beds, and walk back out as long as dad isn’t actively beating or starving the children right in front of them. Aside from that, getting C’s in school, letting your kid’s cough medicine get left at home or missing practices, just isn’t enough for CPS workers. And even if it was, they’d not force him to take care of the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 12:48 PM
323

Let me go ahead and step in here with my experience * as a former family law attorney: Dads don’t want even 50/50 custody of the children in 95% of divorces. And in the 5% they request it, it’s because mom has a new boyfriend and dad is resentful about her “playing house” and being a family. Dads might bitch and moan about getting fucked over in family court, but they love getting their bachelorhood back and being daddy only 4-6 days out of the month plus fun daddy on Xmas and Thanksgiving alter…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 12:16 PM
7

Everyone I’ve ever met who says they’re looking for an intellectual is someone who is, at best, slightly above average intelligence with delusions of grandeur. And they’re usually super snotty and condescending about e v e r y t h i n g to everyone but especially to people they deem “below” them, like waiters, salespeople, and definitely people with less formal education than them. That’s a huuuuuge red flag to me. This is likely someone who only wants to talk about deeper topics aka constantly …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 03:33 PM
5

It’s basically 10 years! It’s citizenship, either person’s death, the spouse leaving the US permanently, OR if the spouse is credited with 40 quarters of work. 40 quarters = 10 years USUALLY. You earn a quarter by you or your spouse since the date of marriage working during the 3 month period and earning a statutory minimum amount of money that is eligible for the Social Security Administration tax during that same period. But he’s an Uber driver. Gig workers are more able to get dodgy with taxe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 07:32 PM
8

Here we have the 40 quarters of work credit, which is basically a 10 year clause, for termination of the affidavit of support. Three years is still a long time but a full decade? NO SIR! It could not possibly be me. And when people CO-SPONSOR for their kids’ spouses? Knowing that they’ll be on the hook taking care of them until they get citizenship?! Oh noooo! Could. Not. Be. Me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 07:19 PM
20

You’re preaching to the choir, sister! It’s one of the only legal fields that I refuse to practice in because it’s c o n s t a n t l y changing and I’m not ready for all that emotional labor 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 03:45 PM
55

This is exactly why lay people should contact lawyers if they even have a single of question RE: legal matters: If he came on a fiancé or a spousal visa/they swapped his tourist, student, work or other type of visa for a spousal visa, she signed a form (I-864) obligating herself to financially support him at above the US Poverty guidelines until he becomes a citizen, leaves the US for good, or dies. Meaning that if he’s destitute and signs up for food stamps or rental assistance, she’s on the ho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 02:39 PM
148

Some quick advice: 1) It would behoove you to seek out a different immigration attorney (if y’all are already working with one) before you seek out a divorce attorney. Immigration attorneys obviously know about immigration, but they’re much more familiar with dissolving a marriage involving a green card as opposed to what the average family law attorney has had exposure to. 2) Get all of the documents and court dates for the immigration process and citizenship in hand before you have your consul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 02:19 PM
157

I’m shook because he was planning on eating that himself and just happened to extend her an invite after. As in, he put thought into planning to eat this Oliver Twist supper and was looking forward to it. Like??? Clearly he’s trash but how can he not love himself enough to take a trip to flavortown? People in max security prisons in the US eat better than that slop 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 10:59 PM
361

I’m really not trying to be funny, but did this man just...brown some ground turkey and slap it on a plate? The most flavorless of the ground meats and he wants to use it as a stand-alone protein? He ain’t even put salt and pepper on anything 😭😭😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 09:26 PM
10

I’m guessing you live somewhere with a good population density and a high cost of living if you’re talking about apartments and being able to bike to your workplace? If not, let me know and I’ll reassess! A man doesn’t have to have the swankiest of swanky high rises with a concierge in the most expensive location to be a HVM. He could have a decent place in a safe neighborhood that is well-kept and within his price range to invest OR commute a longer distance to have a nicer place and sock the m…
/r/askFDS02/11/20 03:17 PM
567

Umm, does he think snuggling “in this climate” is a Covid approved activity? 😂 Like, as long as his penis is hard, the Rona can’t get to him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 02:13 PM
2

Nah. My husband and I graduated undergrad at 21 and 20, respectively. By 23, I’d graduated from law school already and we were putting together a down payment for our first house. And objectively, the difference in maturity between just leaving high school and having a f/t job, bills, responsibilities and a full extra 4-5 years of experience is just exponential. 23 is too old to date teenagers by any metric. We’re not finding reasons why it’s “technically” okay for men to date girls just enterin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 07:49 PM
54

There is no correction. You’ve got it. Men over 21 have no business dating girls still in their teens. They just don’t. It’s weird predatory. At 19, some girls have only just graduated high school. What business does a grown man have with a girl who almost certainly doesn’t have any higher education yet, likely still lives with her parents, has less than zero life experience and probably doesn’t have a red cent to her name?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 02:49 PM
69

There’s an old Southern black saying for everything and this is not the exception: I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your soulmate is not that lady’s husband.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 07:15 PM
62

I think it’s important to put your best foot forward and using correct grammar and syntax when you first meet someone is always the best way to go. They’re clearly not doing that. It’s also important to pick up on someone’s energy. I’m over 30, an accomplished attorney with 4 different degrees, a home, and a spouse, and I text my friends and family and especially my husband in the same very informal, shitpost-y way and will sometimes lapse into it with a new acquaintance out of habit, but if, af…
/r/askFDS30/10/20 01:32 PM
46

UM! No, I am not looking, but how common is it for people to have photos with Ed Sheeran for it to be on a bingo sheet?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 01:24 PM
72

Maybe I’m just being cynical, but, like, it’s federal law (FLSA) and the law in most states (but LA, where it was filmed, only hourly employees get mandated time to pump) to let women pump in the workplace and even where it’s not mandated, it’s common decency. It was definitely the right thing to do, but he shouldn’t be venerated for not being a completely shit person, especially because the movie was filmed in less than a month and if she walked out, production would have had to replace her and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 01:21 PM
4

I’ll never forget! I was in law school when she was getting sued for alienation of affection by his wife. I wish y’all could’ve seen the fury of the pick-mes and rich white dudes in my Fam Law class that day 😂😂 Ultimately, the wife’s case was dismissed, but not before Fantasia was dragged through the mud. This includes the wife forcing her to admit that she aborted her husband’s child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 09:13 PM
15

Great song, annoying woman. She was just checked, hard, for spouting the most pick-me stuff on the Breakfast Club. She said she believes women are not submissive enough to their husbands and that’s why so many women are single. She a whole goofy. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 07:35 PM
31

I haven’t been in the dating game in yeaaaaars, but I also apply this principle to my friends as well. If we set a date and time, the only text I send and they send back is an ETA when we’re on our way. My friends know I do not play around with my time and, although I’m fun, I’ll not schedule or invite them to another event anytime soon if they cancel on me the day of. For friends, I will allow the night before! We are grown people with full-time jobs, partners and some of us have kids; if I mad…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 07:01 PM
57

That’s because they’re not sitting around looking for outside validation all the time! I’m all for loving oneself but when I see people, specifically men, constantly posting selfies or flexing money and other status symbols (Hermès belts are a big one!) on the ‘gram, I automatically think that they’re a little too worried about people’s perception of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 06:43 PM
81

It’s just not normal. My husband finally made an instagram about 2 years ago, expressly for the purpose of promoting his sisters’ dance company’s posts. He follows about 60 people and they’re all friends and family, with the exception of a black celebrity news insta that we use to stay current on the culture. He uses it to see our family, especially right now with Covid. I just don’t see Instagram as a true social media site; you’re not really supposed to interact and comment and share the way y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 04:14 PM
437

This is why it’s FDS to say there is no date until there’s a time and place. He shouldn’t be waffling on fitting you into his schedule at the last second; the deets should have been set, in my opinion, at least 48 hours in advance. Don’t be leaving your life open for these scrotes at the last second. You are an important woman and you’ve got life to lead!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 03:13 PM
28

What a fucking moron. They already did video dating services in the 80’s and 90’s, just without streaming. And it was hilarious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 02:45 PM
66

Lmao, he’s not even being original. There’s already the song called “The Man Who Can’t Be Moved.” Did hé hear it, snap, and immediately jump to the green? Ay yi yi 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 02:23 AM
5

She isssssss....a goofy. If I found out one of my friend’s SO was beating off to me regularly and she didn’t tell me and/or dump him, I’d ghost her ass so quick. Women shouldn’t have to be scared of being objectified and used as wank material while just chilling at a girlfriend’s house. That’s so revolting. I recognize men are foul, but she’s actively bringing her friends around for her bf to use as spank material and I just cannot fathom how she thinks only her jealousy is the problem here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 09:11 PM
55

Like honestly, why have kids? I don’t understand the thought processes of men who demand kids but don’t want to spend time with them, feed them, interact with them, etc. Like???? Unless you like doing all of the above and they’re enriching you emotionally, all kids do is lower your standard of life, as they take a lot of time and money. And this is coming from someone who adores children and is looking forward to having exactly one in the very near future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 08:58 PM
51

I have found, in my somewhat limited view, that the men with the most compassion are “worldly,” so to speak. My husband + his family have always been interested in other cultures and traveling and as a result, he’s had a lot of exposure to different world views, despite being a regular vanilla white man. He grew up being sort of communally raised with other SE Asian and black kids by all the moms; most of those boys also grew up to be compassionate, currently happily married, successful and don’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 06:27 PM
23

The GOP is the Republican Party here in the US. It stands for “Grand Old Party.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 06:05 PM
9

I think I see what you’re trying to say, but human rights are universal, whether a despotic government wants to acknowledge it or not. We, meaning the UN and the countries therein, wrote and ratified the Universal Declaration of Human Rights in order to have a fundamental fallback on certain things, such as slavery, marriage, torture, and the right to life. You wouldn’t argue that the right to not have a government kill someone and their entire family in the name of “ethnic cleansing” isn’t univ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 04:17 PM
153

This is why it’s so important to vet vet VET everyone of importance in your life. Anyone who actively supports the GOP (not just typical republican values of the party up until around 2004) has an exceedingly high potential to be low value, as they prioritize greed over the health and welfare of others. I recently dumped a friend who I believed was a HVW, as she was highly educated, independent, determined, etc, until I found out that she was fine with her husband supporting Trump up until it im…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 03:40 PM
2

1) when talking about anything pertaining to legalities or the legal field, you need to use most precise terms. And here, that’s what’s being discussed. 2) I never made any absolute claims beyond correcting the original commenter that it is, in fact not illegal to disinherit a spouse as she said “[t]hat is not legal at all.” Reddit is so full of armchair attorneys dispensing incorrect legal advice to one another that then gets parroted back around like it’s black letter law. It’s FDS to help oth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 09:05 PM
2

It’s not “illegal” to disinherit your spouse in any state, because it’s not a criminal action. It’s considered unenforceable in community property states, but never illegal. It depends what jurisdiction you’re in as well as the extent of the assets and the length of the marriage as to the enforcement of such a strong provision, but it can hold up, especially when using trust instruments. Source: practiced estate planning law for ~ one year in an equitable division state
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 08:35 PM
7

I don’t know about making them addicted, but men seem to really be attracted to aloofness to the point of spitefulness. All the creeps I’ve ever worked with were attracted to women who wouldn’t give them the time of day and who would actually snipe at the men when they asked the women out for drinks or something. And they absolutely loved it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 07:57 PM
2

Dipping in to say that it is perfectly legal in most western countries to disinherit your spouse altogether in your will. In countries where individualism is viewed as most tantamount (US, the UK, etc), the ability to divest your gains is protected to the nth degree. That’s why we have wills instead of relying solely on intestacy laws, which make rules for the divestment of property in the sane way that the government believes most people will want. For instance, if no will and you died married …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 02:06 PM
85

The use of the word “dirty” in this post messed with my soul. I’m just gobsmacked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 06:26 PM
9

I’m also very uncomfortable with making friends with women who are fascinated with true crime podcasts or have serial killer merchandise. It shows a distinct lack of empathy to eagerly and constantly consume the torture of women like it’s not happening around us every day and it grosses me out when they talk about shit like dismemberment off-the-cuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 01:00 PM
26

In the most plain terms, my comment is: a woman wrote this up, pretending to be one of the men who mocked the original woman’s bills, for comedic purposes. As in, the guys making fun of her don’t have a pot to piss in but think they’re on her level. This was years back, but I’m sure you can still find the videos upon videos of black men criticizing her spending, meanwhile, those same men have cracked, ashy lips and are most likely spending their money the way the person who wrote the mocking not…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 08:07 PM
249

Okay, this is a parody of a black woman’s post of the exact same thing, except her expenditures are insanely high and basically saying that she has too much money to earn to answer such basic bullshit texts. This one is definitely clowning on scrubby ass black dudes and was written specifically to mock men’s response to the original.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 05:20 PM
28

Um. Yes. You aren’t his property. The only thing he should be concerned about is how you feel about your clothes because he isn’t the one wearing them. He’s acting like a jealous dragon, trying to hoard your beauty away because he’s terrified something will steal you, but you ain’t a possession. And he needs to stop treating you like one. The one thing I will allow is when my husband silently throwing an extra jacket in the back of the car if he thinks I might get cold later, but even then, it’s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 04:31 PM
101

I hate this. Hate it. I wear what I want, when I want, and my husband is more than happy to buy the clothes I want for me because they make me happy. In college, I was shopping with a friend and her boyfriend and she picked up a pair of shorts. He took it, held it up to her body and said “fingertip check!” As though he was a principal policing this grown ass woman’s body in the name of keeping order! I popped him on the nose (like a dog with an ad paper they handed us at JC Penney when we walked…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 03:32 PM
1

The one drive-in in our area doesn’t allow hatchbacks (or we would’ve been sprawled out in the back of our SUV lol) , as they block the view of the people behind you. Besides, during Covid, all the doors/hatchbacks on vehicles were required to be closed unless immediately going to the bathroom or snack bar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 04:40 PM
16

Listen. It’s too cold now to rent a truck to snuggle in anyway and I don’t think there’re cars you can rent that even have bench seats anymore. Skip the drive-in and make a fort in your living room. Then, you can Uber eats something delicious and have subtitles galore!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 03:24 PM
9

Do you mean your SO doesn’t like that you haven’t deleted your ex’s pictures off of your Instagram/Facebook?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 01:34 PM
53

My husband took me to a drive-in on Saturday to see a movie. Let me tell you: drive-ins suck. The popcorn was stale, the nachos were cold, and we found out that we can’t watch movies without subtitles anymore thanks to only watching tv in our house all year. Even the cuddling in the car was only okay because of the center console poking into his side. You gotta have a bench seat to really enjoy the old fashioned snuggling. I really came here just to slander drive-ins. I get the nostalgia factor,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 01:30 PM
1

He’s the father of her three children from a decade long relationship. Idk what all went on but I’m 99% sure she did dump him, though they all still go on family vacations together. New flings and all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 02:48 AM
128

It’s weird to pretend to be cheating on each other with each other but otherwise, I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with reminiscing about when you first met in 2004 or whatever. I’ve always found it charming when my husband wanders up to me at a grocery store after I’ve gone to grab something in a different aisle and hits on me by asking me what I’m doing later that night and if I’ve got a boyfriend. It’s playful and reminds me of when we first got together, except he’s infinitely…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 11:29 PM
3

Name any “traditional” women’s job and men who do it go straight to the top. Nursing, librarians, fashion, hair stylists. Anything we can do, they can do with a dick and people will think that they’re better than us 😒😒😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 08:05 PM
11

It’s a phenomenon called the glass escalator when men are lauded for doing traditional “pink collar” jobs like baking, cooking, and makeup. See: Gordon and James Charles. Hell, look at the mua subs and see the praise heaped on mediocre white men doing a bit of foundation as compared to women who do elaborate look and barely get a glance. Those same skills on a woman get overlooked, but men get fast-tracked to success 🙃🙃🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 03:56 PM
35

Agree with your sentiments, but jic you didn’t get the reference, it’s a song lyric from WAP by Cardi B and Megan the Stallion. It’s still a pick-me anthem about good sex keeping a man but constantly cooking + cleaning for a man shouldn’t be a requirement to be “wife material.” “I don’t cook, I don’t clean but let me tell you how I got this ring.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 02:24 PM
142

But like, why would she? Her time is better spent posting on social media, making money over lifting a finger to perform a domestic duty. She and her sisters might be problematic but they’re richer than god and could each hire 100 maids and chefs to be on call 24/7 without feeling a dent in their wealth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 01:06 PM
11

Lmao, I don’t know about all that but I do have several years’ experience with protective/restraining orders and international and domestic divorce law. It’s all lead me to say that FDS is the truth. Men will cheat on former Miss [redacted] who is the same size as she was on their wedding day and a millionaire can and will slap around his wife and kids just as often as an unemployed bum. But I will say this: having kids does something to men. Idfk what it is but, married, dating, rich, poor, or …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 07:51 PM
218

“Our kink is roleplaying as father and child” Is she being serious? It’s gross enough when two adults roleplay that way with a 5 year age difference, but he’s genuinely old enough to be her dad. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 05:00 PM
21

Yeah. Men in general love the standard custody arrangement of every other weekend plus alternating holidays. It gives them freedom and they don’t typically feel comfortable parenting solo. And that was true whether I was representing the husband or wife. In non-marital custody disputes, 90% of the time, I was communicating with the new step-mommy who just knew that the *old mommy wasn’t doing a good enough job, despite having primary custody for 7+ years before she came along. The men usually co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 04:18 PM
19

It depends on the situation. If there is a group of men and I’m on my own, I ignore them because they’re just seeking attention and I have less than zero to spare them. Plus safety concerns. If it’s an individual man and I’m somewhere populated, I might roll my eyes or visibly cringe so he knows I’m disgusted by his looks and/or actions and they usually won’t make eye contact after that. I live in a somewhat cosmopolitan area and have had gay men yell out things like “You’ve got a great ass, bit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 08:38 PM
4

I’m so so proud of you for standing up for yourself! ♥️ Please make sure to keep everything and stay vigilant for at least the next few months in case of retaliation. Monitor your video doorbell and stay safe. And if anything further happens and you need legal help, PM me and I’ll point you to your state and/or county’s procedures to guide your way.
/r/askFDS17/10/20 05:16 PM
12

I hate it too! 😭😭😭 I’ve just done so many POs for college aged women who’ve had men in adjacent apartments act similarly that I feel like I should write a handbook. On the one hand, it’s great advice to block for your mental health. But on the other hand, it’s disheartening when a woman blocks a man after he harasses her (and he continues trying to get in contact with her), but because she didn’t “””politely””” say she wanted to be left alone (“fuck off” seems to be too playful/ambiguous🙄🙄🙄) or …
/r/askFDS16/10/20 05:10 PM
36

Do NOT block his number if it prevents texts from coming through. Preserve evidence of stalking and harassment wherever possible. I had a case where we knew a man sent copious threatening messages and phone calls following his wife blocking him because he told her at a custody switch, but we had to wait to subpoena his phone records to prove his attempts to contact her because there was no record on her end.
/r/askFDS16/10/20 04:48 PM
84

Hello, former attorney for stalking and family violence protective order petitioners here! 1) Don’t add extra explanation in your response to him. You state “Your actions (texting, calling, compliments) have made me uncomfortable. Please do not contact me again.” Do not block his number or delete his texts, as you may need them and any subsequent threats or attempts to contact you as évidence in court for a protective order. 2) Tell your landlord NOW. Print out or screenshot the texts + call log…
/r/askFDS16/10/20 04:38 PM
38

The only pass I can give for a man having ever visited a prostitute is in the case of underaged boys being forced to participate a la Boosie Badazz. The act of soliciting and subsequently paying for sex is just so far into depravity and commodifying women that I don’t think there’s a way to switch off that way of thinking, so much as suppressing it. I’d always have in the back of my mind if I wasn’t interested in having sex that night, “Oh. If I don’t do this, he might just go pay another woman …
/r/askFDS16/10/20 03:52 PM
12

No ma’am! There were proctors staring at the exam takers the entire time, making sure their eyes did not flutter too often and that they did not shit around in their seats. I’m told some states didn’t even allow scratch paper. Like, honestly, every state could have come up with temporary practice solutions until the pandemic is over and then require everyone to sit. But noooooo...they’re greedy as hell. Meanwhile, the head of the National Conference of Bar Examiners NEVER TOOK THE BAR HERSELF, b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 02:58 AM
56

It’s disgusting and dystopian. The legal field was built for white, upper middle-class men at minimum. There’re people right now who have finished law school with HONORS but are being denied the ability to even sit for the bar due to either bad credit or high amounts of debt, including the student debt they had to take out to get their degrees. I know brilliant people who have to take a year or two off of taking the bar to save up enough money for the fees associated (bar prep, laptop fee, bar f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 06:48 PM
43

GIRL YES! My colleagues and I are saying that the next time one of us goes on (UNPAID!!!) maternity leave, a partner is going to say, “Well that one woman gave birth during the bar, but sure, we can get someone to handle your depositions and cases. No problem.” We ain’t safe at this point 🤦🏾‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 06:44 PM
163

Okay, before this gets started: my colleagues in the legal field and I are disgusted that this has been touted around as a story of hope. The Board of Bar Examiners in every state has fumbled around since this whole mess started. Some states granted diploma privilege in lieu of forcing students to sit for this test, but other states, like GA and IL, made them sit for the bar. The proctoring was a damn joke (and by joke, I mean women were being friend requested by men whose job it was to watch th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 06:38 PM
62

I meaaan, does he not realize that dates are just interviews for a life partner and the potential father of any children? Why would I want some short, uneducated, broke scrub contributing to my gene pool? Side note: there’s something really wrong with a man who made it to 24-26 without a single kiss. I’m talking sociopathic wrong here. I know a delightful and kind man with facial disfigurements and an honest-to-god hunchback who recently married a sweet, equally as intelligent woman and he never…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 01:14 PM
82

Your mom has the right idea, especially for black women! Marrying down aka marrying men with a lower earning capacity costs women around 25k a year in income loss as compared to marrying a man with the same level of higher education. And black women are more likely than any other educated demographic to marry a man with less education, widening the income inequality gap that already exists between the races and leading to children who will actually go on to earn less than their parents.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 04:01 PM
2

I think it’s because she came at me kinda sideways? Like, specifically at me about my husband’s profession. I think her statement regarding high earning professions being detrimental to society has merit, but the best place to discuss it probably wasn’t on my comment about my husband enriching my life with her saying his career makes him lower value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 04:10 PM
22

Lol, it’s me! I cook 3-4x a week for us and haven’t washed a single dish since I left my parents’ house when we left for college. My husband has some serious dishwasher stacking skillzzz. Except, you know this dude only cooked the one, likely under-seasoned, apple pie cuz he was craving it and never cooks an actual meal otherwise but thinks he ought to get a pat on the back. 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 03:27 PM
20

My dad had a radical prostatectomy and had to wear adult diapers for a couple months until he was able to control his muscles again and he could not wait to get out of them. He was embarrassed because they crinkled and he obviously couldn’t control his bladder so he was self conscious about swelling of urine if he was in an enclosed space. What the actual fuck could be sexy about that?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 08:50 PM
31

I think it just comes down to your personal feelings about it. My husband’s work contributes to advancements in agriculture that help make food easier to produce (hardier plants, shorter growing cycle, less water) which in turn, helps society as a whole, especially since his company is always relating back to the issue of greenhouse gasses and water pollution relating to the commercial meat industry. I find that to be a worthwhile endeavor and use of his dual degrees. On the other hand, I have c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 06:38 PM
46

He’s always paid for everything. We got together in high school, so things weren’t always of the nicest quality when we first got together, but he always paid for 2-3 beach or mountain vacations per year and all dates, which even in HS were at Applebee’s and Outback and never at McDonalds or walking dates. The money I make goes into our bank account, but pretty much just sits there until I eventually move it into savings or my IRA. My regular clothes/shoes/makeup shopping from month to month is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 05:53 PM
109

no stress about needing to have a high earning job/immediately quitting a toxic situation, because my husband pays every bill and luxury without my help and encourages me to do whatever tf I want my husband is white. I am black. He loves my natural hair as it grows and independently learned how to help me take protective styles down to make wash days faster and save my arm strength anything I might need or want appears at my house either before I mention it or soon after without me having to mak…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 05:35 PM
91

It’s really telling that mentioning equal rights to men and some women makes their minds jump to beating up women. Not pay equality, not women’s suffrage, nor the glass ceiling but the right to put a woman on her ass with fists. Violent ass monsters, the lot of ‘em.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 02:31 PM
5

When you put it so plainly, yeah, it can sound a lot overboard, but some of these are easy to accomplish. Like for the workplace, just keep a jacket of his or something after a date then drop it off with the admin of the place if you’re nearby. Either he’ll get it or he won’t, but if he doesn’t work there, he’s a liar and not your problem anymore. As for college, just check LinkedIn. Even if he lies on his own page, he ought to have connections around his age to people who attended that school w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 11:52 AM
6

I just don’t understand the whole white woman, true crime, obsessed with serial killers shit. Like what the actual fuck? Is the thought of women and babies being murdered arousing? I’ve seen women with Ted Bundy’s teeth marks tattooed on their bodies. And for what? To be cute? To be qUiRkY? Dis. Gus. Ting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 12:21 AM
12

ATTA GIRL! Some of my husband’s coworkers and a few distant relatives have called him whipped or said that I had his balls in my purse before and he always has a quip for it. For example, he’ll ask them what it is like to not want to spend every waking hour with their partners or he’ll jokingly say “I didn’t know it was possible to watch tv without her laying on top of me. I can’t concentrate like that” when we’re cuddling up while watching movies at someone’s house. Admittedly, he’s not getting…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 09:24 PM
3

His one brother is building/built a house for her by her family’s land, so he ain’t goin nowhere!🤣 I try to get him into it, but manufactured conflict and seeing these horrible relationships where they’re just making people as a hobby (lookin @ u Asuelu and Kalani) makes his blood pressure high so he hands me my snacks and dips upstairs to watch his shows that I hate (Curb Your Enthusiasm & The Boys).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 07:20 PM
90

But do you think any of these dudes would bother bringing their girlfriends a nice glass of wine and a tasteful charcuterie board while watching their shows? Hell nah. ***My high value husband brings me glasses of wine and a hand cut charcuterie board during my marathon 90 Day Fiancé/Darcey & Stacey’s nights, but any man commenting “wifey” and shit on a post like this because his ass is constantly planted on the sofa, playing pew pew all day on the tv definitely isn’t doing anything close to tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 03:43 PM
81

She “met” him 7 days before flying out to see him?! Jesus, talk about an easy way to end up on The First 48. It’s really for the best that he blocked her; this man could have been a trafficker, a rapist, a serial killer, or literally anything but a cowardly ass scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 03:13 PM
2

Sure thing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 07:56 PM
16

You can definitely have both. I’m an attorney, love my job, and at times during my career when I wanted to take a lower paying public-service job with fewer hours, my husband told me to go for it and not worry about money so much as being happy. And when I went into private sector, he encouraged that too and handled the bits of home that I didn’t want to when I was working until 9pm. HOWEVER, my husband, no matter what, does at least 70% of our housework. He washes, dries and folds the laundry, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 05:29 PM
147

Being attracted to someone is different from following someone, liking their pics, purchasing their porn and interacting with them via flirtatious emojis in the comments section. Like..?? Shut up, you disingenuous dirtbag, you know that if she’d give you half a lick of attention, you’d be sending her dick pics in a heartbeat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 08:17 PM
7

And honestly, trying to explain to people not from here that the South is actually a great place for black people to live, buy property and prosper is so difficult because they think that everyone is a racist, lynching hick. There are plenty of racists and hicks in the South, just like everywhere in the US, but in the metro areas, you’d be hard pressed to meet a young non-black professional that hasn’t been in close collegial contact with a black person. If businesses here acted the way some bus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 08:00 PM
5

This is an intersectional issue. The women being “witch-hunted” are women but they’re also white. Not Hispanic, not Asian, not Black, not Islander, not First Nation, but white. White women are the women who stand most to benefit from the U.S.’s white patriarchal society and have, for hundreds of years, used that status against POC, including WOC. See: Emmett Till, your white suffragette faves were in cahoots with racists, and the power of a white woman’s tears. It being misused and contorted to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 03:30 PM
145

That “tasting spoon” of just Dijon mustard had me rolling 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 02:17 PM
3

Hear hear RE: JDs. Men who are lawyers are some of the most emotionally unintelligent, arrogant, know-nothing ass men you will ever meet. They came into law school with their egos full to bursting and graduated with their head up their asses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 02:13 PM
28

I’ve been a darker skinned Black woman all my life. My mother had much fairer skin (think the color beige) and all my life, I had family lament that I was almost as dark as my father and wasn’t it such a shame that I wasn’t light like my mom. But every dark skinned black girl has heard that song and dance. The issue, in my opinion, is where she lives. I wouldn’t be interested in interracial dating in the PNW, the Midwest, or anywhere where the black population is less than 15%. Why? Because it i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 01:09 PM
61

She can make this out to be the best few years of her life! She’s going to school for F R E E in Berlin, something that people in the states dream about. She’s going to have access to a wealth of cultures that are only a 40 minute plane ride or a couple of hours by train away. This gives her the opportunity to develop her language skills via immersion if she wants, though most educated young people speak very good English in Berlin so if she’s hesitant, she’ll still be able to communicate effect…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 12:21 PM
133

This has been me at every firm I’ve ever stepped foot in. And I am unapologetically black and unapologetically feminine when I respond to this question by asking about their diversity, how many partners have been women, and how they plan to expand their business when they don’t attract communities that don’t look like them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 08:45 PM
45

While I agree with the overall sentiments, I also feel like this article minimizes the racial tones that come with calling someone a Karen. A Karen is always a white woman who uses her white privilege in one form or another to: question as though she has some form of authority, exclude, or demean people who are typically non-white and often in a lower class. There is no doubt that the roots of the call-out culture and mocking are in misogyny, however, I don’t appreciate the author’s tone of equa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 08:01 PM
9

Girl, yes! It’s why he lost his Disney deal. You can’t make shit like this up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 07:30 PM
1

Jameela has been problematic in many ways because she paints with broad strokes and oversteps. I can say that I hope that she’s grown from the sl*t-shaming that she’s done towards mainly black women over the years (Beyonce, Nicki, Rihanna) because she did an about-face and (patronizingly) said that Rihanna “had grown into” an important voice for women and POC, but I’m not positive that she has as she never actually apologized for being disrespectful regarding shaming Rihanna about the Chris Brow…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 06:46 PM
5

I’m just regular American black and every aspect of my expression of feminism is nuanced due to the fact that traditional feminism is not geared towards women who look like me and, as such, I find it important to contribute my black perspective where it otherwise is lost. I don’t have that expectation of white celebrities, because they don’t understand and are often ignorant to the specific plights of my community, thus I hold black celebs, like Tracée Ellis Ross and Gabrielle Union, to a higher…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 06:10 PM
8

For following the primary FDS principles? Read the handbook and raise your standards, sis. You can do better than defending an alt-right mouthpiece even if you feel like you don’t deserve it. I believe in you ✨ her deleted response to this comment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 05:40 PM
21

GIRL! My eyebrows are sky high at people excusing racism and anti-semitism as something he did once and apologized for!1!!1 Doesn’t the handbook say to block and delete after the first time a man disrespects you or displays low quality behaviors? I guess they thought that excludes their problematic faves. It don’t. That or racism and anti-semitism isn’t a problem for them, in which case, they TOO are low value as fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 05:23 PM
81

I remember seeing it for the first time and thinking she should fire her whole crew for allowing him to steal her show like that as well as boxing her in so she had to listen to him. She clearly tried to go off stage to get away but everybody thinks women HAVE to get cheating men another chance 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 03:43 PM
57

She threw a bottle at one bartender, then had her friends throw more bottles and chairs and other misc. items at the bartender and her friend. ANOTHER time, Cardi sent 5 friends to fuck the bartender up. They hit her with an ashtray. And the whole time, Cardi was threatening the bartender in-person and on Instagram.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 03:35 PM
27

Isn’t it just sooooo very interesting that heated gamer moments always involve that particular slur or sometimes the one towards gay people?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 03:07 PM
36

RE-fucking-TWEET. He doesn’t get a pass because he’s a rich white guy that some people might find moderately attractive. He does what the handbook preaches about, but all of a sudden, it’s okay? Nah. Bad take
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 03:03 PM
76

It’s funny how they spin this shit around on Cardi like she failed the marriage when she tried to leave in 2018 and he refused to leave her alone, following her ass around like a shitty, humping puppy. He and all their people pressured her into forgiving the most trash member of the Migos. If he wasn’t fulfilled, Sammie, why did he spend tens, if not hundreds, of thousands over months trying to get her back? Nah. This take aint it. Nothing will fulfill this man because he believes that he deserv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 02:12 PM
281

When Cardi left him over a year ago, due to his prolific cheating, he literally chased her around the world, trying to pop up and ruin her performances with cards, flowers and other corny shit. And her people LET him. They allowed this man to try to ruin her sets. She’d already been indicted for beating up two bartenders that he’d cheated on her with. It just goes to show you, just because a man has money, just because he goes above and beyond for a while, love bombing you after he does you dirt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 02:07 PM
2

You’re not wrong at all. He has no business telling you how to spend your own money or thinking he has a place to criticize how you spend your money. He’s also telling you that you’re incompatible financially because he’s not a generous and doesn’t see the worth in you having the nice things you deserve. My husband on his own is frugal. But you’d never know that from the way he purchases gifts for me and encourages me to buy any and everything that catches my eye. I have to actively talk him INT…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 11:29 PM
48

She, despite being a minority, spouts a lot of white liberal feminism principles. Her statements often lack the nuance and intersectionality that I would expect from the child of Indian and Pakistani immigrants. She very much has a habit of speaking over people because of things she perceives to be problematic, like KKW’s pregnancy support wear. She got up on her soapbox and dragged KKW for trying to make pregnant women “thinner” and saying she’s putting image before health, meanwhile, women who…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 12:22 PM
20

I’m not into astrology because of how the people I’ve encountered who are into it behave. No, Lisa, I’m not cranky because I’m a Pisces; I’m annoyed with you because I’m tired of hearing you talking about how Mars is in retrograde and that’s why Phillip the Philanderer isn’t answering your calls. Because of my career and background, I’m usually encountering upper middle class, professional white women who “borrow” (read: steal) aspects of all sorts of first nations people’s cultures to look thir…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 12:49 PM
1

I remember reading about this a few years ago Pony was rescued and they’ve tried rehabilitating her and releasing her a few times, but she’s failed to thrive. The last update I saw was in 2015, where she’s a big fine healthy girl now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 04:45 PM
9

Lol, he’s making the rounds now. He messaged me earlier this week about something or another he was salty about. Sir, get off Incels Without Hate and get some fresh air. The fumes from your piss bottles and your own unwashed funk must be going to your head if you think any of us give a rat’s ass about you or your ilk. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 03:07 PM
50

Every man I know who says they’re a feminist, cannot WAIT to hit a woman and says the stupid “so if a woman hits me, I can hit her back, right? Since we’re equals?” That’s what feminism means to them. The opportunity to do the one thing to women that they know society still looks down on them for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 08:34 PM
32

Hi! Agree with telling a manager and written records of his visiting. Female manager, if possible, as she’ll be more likely to take you seriously. Get your coworkers to send you writings (texts if you can) as soon as they see him lurking and describe the behavior in those texts. Hopefully he’ll stop on his own, but if he persists, request to have him trespassed from the store and ask security to walk you out if you leave at dead times or at night. You can also seek out an injunctive order for st…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 04:33 PM
44

It was a hyperbole. I doubt anyone with a F/T job and obligations could find the time to actually participate and review posts for content in 46 groups! 😂😂 For the very literal, I’m in 3 groups revolving around women’s empowerment through finances, dating, and career choices with a smattering of FB posts from the pick me women who never left our hometown
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 02:45 PM
133

And even if she says “oh, that’s just for the internet! He’s not really like that!” Yes, tf he is. He’s more concerned about looking like a simp (also, when did the youths find this word and decide it means literally any man doing anything nicer than actively spitting on women??) for his friends than valuing her efforts to make a moment special. He don’t deserve ur efforts, bb girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 02:09 PM
80

I’m in approx 46 groups dedicated to taking the piss out of scrotes. It’s surprising how NOT surprising it is that there is this much fresh content to be spread around *disclaimer -tallwomen actually belongs to 3 women’s empowerment groups but is bad at making exaggerated statements apparent and/or funny
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 01:54 PM
60

Girl, you should have blocked him after he asked to go to your house. This is a laaaaazy, unimaginative boring ass man. And wanting you to take a bus? Boy BYE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 06:25 PM
92

I can’t believe there’s discourse in this sub about this?! If a man offers to change your tire, let him. If a random man offers you a seat on the bus because you’re dressed well, TAKE IT! Why should you willingly make your life harder?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 03:42 PM
47

I feel it necessary to indicate that while all child pornography is heinous, he had images of children UNDER 12 years of age. Prepubescent, undeveloped children. And the reason he was caught was because he messaged an undercover sting operator on Craigslist SOLICITING people to spend time with a child in exchange for money. DIS. GUS. TING.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 03:37 PM
25

Jesus H! And she’s a shit friend for not immediately realizing that’s it’s not just HER betrayal that matters, but that her friends have been unknowingly victimized by this sicko. It’s worse than just going through their swimsuit photos on Facebook; this trash is literally manipulating their images to fuck them. If I was her friend and ever found out her bf did that to me or the rest of our squad and she stayed with him, I’d drop her like a hot potato. Because what else is this creep capable of?…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 12:23 PM
28

I had some guy message me about the guy who wanted to go 50/50 after the parking ticket fiasco. DELETE If you don’t have money to take a woman out, college or no, you’ve got no business trying to date a lady. Get a job instead of using your 10 other free hours during a school day to guzzle Mountain Dew and play Halo on Xbox until right before your 8 am. (I might be dating my self with that reference at this point 😂) Edit: I looked at his profile and his first post has Phineas and Ferb cartoon po…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 12:15 PM
13

Quintuplets =/= Six babies. He’s disappointing in so many more avenues than he even realizes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 02:54 AM
16

It’s not illegal to go through trash that’s been left on the curb/placed somewhere for pickup. You have no expectation of privacy to items that you abandon in such a manner. Friendly reminder to shred all important info on mail or other documents that you throw away! And as always, if the cops come a-knockin’, tell em “COME BACK WITH A WARRANT” *am a lawyer
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 12:54 PM
6

And I’ll bet you anything that he didn’t sock away shit for savings for his little mancation either. Just expected her to carry his stank ass while he starts fusing into the couch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 01:13 PM
20

It’s only ever men who still think like this after they’ve had kids. Women recognize that there are no more breaks or coasting on as little as possible to be selfish; it’s 100% on ALL THE TIME because there are small people depending on you for the best possible future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 01:12 PM
35

Makeup for women of lighter complexions is literally so easy to remove in comparison. When we first started dating, husband would get straight-up black cheek/nose after canoodling and instead of complaining, would wash his face or ask for a makeup wipe if I had it. Also, if my foundation got on a shirt, he’d pretreat it, then wash it once he got home. It’s really not that fucking deep; mans is trying to neg you into not wearing makeup anymore
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 12:53 PM
11

This man had the opportunity to describe his ideal “new woman” as smart, kind, funny, driven, literally anything, but all he cares about is a “big ole ass” and getting hard. Dis. Gus. Ting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 08:56 PM
32

If a 15 dollar appetizer and a 25 dollar entree would put you into such dire straits that you got apoplectic, then you, sir, had no business asking anybody to go anywhere. Put it in your savings account or, better yet, use that money to get a damn bed frame so ya mattress is off the floor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 08:49 PM
4

Like, I promise you that the lotion WILL NOT hurt you. I swear. Idk how they got through life so cracked and parched! Like, does your skin not hurt?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 07:21 PM
71

hE dOn’T lEt YoU hAvE fRiEnDs? 😒😒😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 07:11 PM
5

There’s NOTHING worse than a man with knees like Mr. Brown’s. 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 07:10 PM
5

Let me know when I’m wrong. 😂😂😂 Don’t worry. I’ll wait.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 07:04 PM
2

I’m married to my HV high school sweetheart (together for 15 years, married for 10) and we both firmly believe that if we hadn’t met each other, we wouldn’t have married until at least 30. My husband dated shallowly but vigorously in HS. He’d go on 1-3 dates then move on, noncommittal. I only dated one other man in HS because I knew I was better than being bred by the backwater trash that lived in my hometown. We began dating at 17. I was a virgin, told him and let him know in no uncertain terms…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 07:01 PM
16

Conversely, my husband sent this to me and asked “Why is he talking to that grown woman like the dog from the Beggin Strips commercial?” But, that’s because he knows I’d not tolerate that tone and take it as patronizing and walk away to take my own damn self out on a date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 06:11 PM
227

And THIS is what FDS says about men loving the chase. He probs blew her off a couple times, then she gives him that same energy and all of a sudden there’s no ifs and or buts. Too late. She needs to block him or he’ll still be sending her dms in 2032
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 05:43 PM
47

I love the Coltee callout but may I say how fucking depressing it is that we have to list out “clean hands/fingernails/toenails?” Like men’s lists are “herr durr head-sized tits n wisdom tooth ass” and we’re like..well, I need a man to have the basic hygiene skills taught to 3 year olds. Women really get the short end of the stick as far as heterosexuality goes, huh?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 04:38 PM
45

Married, so not looking, but my list is: Likes: - Conventionally good looks. I don’t care about race, but a straight nose bridge (can be a wide, big or bulbous nose but MUST be straight), medium sized lips (not overly full or super duper thin), a strong jawline, NO double chin, and great cheekbones. A great smile. Not unnaturally white, but straight and well taken care of A good head of hair on every race but black men. I’ve not seen a single white, Hispanic or Asian man look good bald. I just h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 04:29 PM
12

I stopped reading at “I am not a felon.” Any man who needs to open with this has less than nothing going for him if this is how he tries to lure you in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 05:25 PM
9

Hi there! I’m a darker-skinned (Jackie Aina or Gabrielle Union as a comparison) young black woman and recently posted on a thread here about my experience with my then-boyfriend, now husband. Idk how to use Reddit to link to it because I literally just made an account a few days ago, but if you’d like to talk about the experience in dating for the black woman, I’m here for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 04:10 PM
58

Let’s not forget that he was a friend of Dan Schneider...the pedophilic foot fetishist. She SAYS they only linked back up when she was 21 and he ignored her on set, but something about a man being friends and associates with someone like that, then going on to marry someone he met when she was 17 don’t sit right with me. I
/r/askFDS17/09/20 03:51 PM
20

They might be dusty to the non-kinkmatized woman but in their eyes, they’re Christian Grey. Despite having nothing in the looks, personality or financial department.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 11:23 PM
12

He just got married off, girl! And he certainly ain’t nothin to sneeze at either; he proposed, then bought land by her family’s house and is in the process of building her dream home so she can be by her parents as they age. His parents raised their boys right and I love em for it 😊😊😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 07:53 PM
22

I knew my husband was a HVM and am used to his acts but sometimes his high value behaviors still shock me as I see the men around me continue to act like trash. When we were younger, I was undiagnosed for BPD II, which was triggered/onset by a combination of the sudden death of my mother and my age. I entered a major depressive episode where I would attempt to refuse to eat for days, sobbing or rage at the slightest inconveniences. I wasn’t showering of my own volition or taking care of my respo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 06:51 PM
13

But the doctor is one of the so-called “model minorities.” Model minorities in the US (see Eastern Asians usually, South Eastern Asians sometimes) side with whites against non-model minorities consistently, though it has gotten much better in the last decade or so. Black and undesirable brown people are the lowest of the low to the narcissistic racists of this group; even though they aren’t white themselves, they still think they’re in a rank higher than us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 02:56 PM
31

I wish I could tell you that this is a fluke, but I can’t. He didn’t just say an “oopsie,” he ratified it, then performed the Narcissist’s Prayer I understand not wanting to throw in the towel at 2 months, but take it from someone who spent years in family law: this is just the tip of the iceberg. Would you rather get out of the marriage quickly, efficiently, with few ties (assets, possessions, accounts) to one another and your dignity in tact OR wait 5 years, have maybe a couple of kids to be s…
/r/askFDS16/09/20 01:55 PM
27

The reddit brand of libfem is WHITE FEMINISM. It lacks meaningful intersectionality is exclusionary to WOC. They ignore the pitfalls of legalization of sex work, focusing only on grown white women in nations like the US, meanwhile, the legalization of such leads to underaged girls in brothels, children forced to support their families on their fucking backs in video, and the slavery of appropriately aged women who, while appearing to be “””willing,””” are actually coerced into performing these a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 01:28 PM
1

I’m physically new, but a longtime peruser of Reddit in general and specifically this sub. I’m not fussed about a Specialist tag, but I would like the ability to comment!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 02:48 AM
3

First, we’re making the assumption that she posted from her personal account. From there- it would be...a stretch to consider the information that she posted about the client (my ex’s wife hired me to get her due and he cheated on her) to be confidential as there were no names or truly identifying information posted. You’re making the assumption that it’s well-known who her ex is, which, along with having her client list, would essentially be the only way to track back to who the current wife is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 08:39 PM
5

Every time I see these photos in wedding albums, I gag a little bit. Do what you want all day long, but you really, truly and genuinely, on your very expensive wedding day, took the time to go somewhere secluded so that a rando wedding photographer can see you on your knees, simulating the act of felatio? THEN YOU POST IT ON FB?! For your mama, daddy, boss, coworkers, kids if you have ‘em to see? You’re really willing to show yourself “having sex” as a pfp? Have some respect for yourself, sweet …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 07:26 PM
4

Girl! I almost choked on my drink @ mommy and daddy titty💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 07:17 PM
6

Now, that’s not true. She never represented him as a client in any matter and the odds of her having any relevant knowledge pertaining to the marriage, which occurred AFTER she knew him, are next to nil. She might know what used to be his favorite drink but anything about his marital assets, his behavior during the marriage, his earning potential? Nah. She’s essentially a stranger to him now. *Lol, am also an attorney if it matters
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 07:15 PM
14

He doesn’t respect you. He fucked her after he went on a Meet the Parents date that night for SURE. Block & delete. What other details could we POSSIBLY need?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 06:59 PM
103

The act of representation isn’t the issue. But posting on her personal FB/Twitter was unprofessional af, so I choose to believe the blurred out portion is one of those anonymous submission twitter accounts, since such a brilliant woman wouldn’t be naive enough to post with her name attached, and continue grinning, haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 06:44 PM
14

THIS PART! This part. This. Part. 😭😭😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 06:15 PM
51

But that’s not the definition of involuntary celibate. You could sleep with every man on Earth if you wanted, but VOLUNTARILY choose to reject them. Don’t downplay your reasonable standards like that to identify with a group of roadkill men who can barely scrape up enough to afford to have sex workers touch them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 06:14 PM
124

I’m failing to see how we’re incels? Plenty of women here are married. MOST women in here are turning down dudes left and right because we don’t want to be used for sex/childrearing/maids. In fact, one of the principles is that dick is abundant and of low value. We ain’t interested. But I guess telling women that they don’t have to settle for these no ambition, same-underwear-for-8-days-wearing, empty-bank-account-having, couch hopping or basement-dwelling ass men is sexism. 🤷🏾‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 05:46 PM
674

Love it! And for those questioning the professional ethics of it: there is no ethical violation here. It is permissible to represent a client against an ex. His attorney likely wouldn’t even bring it up, as she and her ex were never married and a sufficient amount of time has passed. Hell, it’s permissible to represent a client against your own mother, as long as there is no professional conflict, such as you representing your mother previously in a matter that is materially similar to the one w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 05:30 PM
3

Sweet thing, I’m not trying to be rude, but have you read the FDS handbook? I know it’s hard but you’re clearly looking for reasons to stay with him when he’s told you, point blank, that he does not want you. He does not want to be with you romantically. He. Broke. Up. With. You. How much clearer can he be? Do you really want to be the type of woman who begs for a scrap of a chance from a man who isn’t interested? You are a queen. Why the hell are you hung up on someone who told you that he does…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 03:42 PM
6

THAT PART! Men who go to law/medical school have been gassed up to an insane degree and finishing the degree makes their egos insufferable. They’re insufferable and no matter how great the woman who was there for him through school was, once he finishes, he’ll think: “Wow, if I could pull a perfect woman to cook, clean, and willing to support me while I was a work in progress, I bet I could pull an even BETTER woman now!1!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 03:11 PM
33

I say this with a lot of love in my heart: dump him. He’s in his last year of law school, and 99% likely the ZOOM School of Law at that. There are currently no externships or clinics running in most law schools right now, so in all actuality, he’s LESS busy than he would be if there was no pandemic. You don’t start studying for the bar until roughly May, if taking the traditional summer Bar. These are all excuses and he’s attempting to guilt trip you into staying on his hook by pretending to be …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 02:30 PM
7

The real red flag is if he’s never been in a long term (3+ years) relationship. It shows a lack of commitment, which makes me think he: a) can’t make up his mind; b) wanted to keep his options open to hoe around all his good years; c) has some truly gnarly habits that nobody can live with; or d) has a true personality flaw that makes women avoidant. I know many LVM and MAYBE 1-3 HVM through work. Most low value male attorneys I know have either never been married or have been divorced after putt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 02:09 PM
36

So she’s just fine with him being gone for a “boys trip” on her birthday? The one day out of the year that the world universally acknowledges is to celebrate the appearance of her in this world and he wants to spend it in DC, up under other aroused men, paying to stare at tits he can’t touch? Couldn’t be me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 01:34 PM
32

I think that the younger generation is turning the engagement ring industry on its head, but in a good way! We’re more socially aware of blood diamonds and the insane mark-ups in the diamond industry, so I think the prices of engagement rings are skewing lower because we’re looking at similar gems (white sapphires, lab creates diamonds and even colored stones) as opposed to buying into the antiquated diamond industry. The price should be commiserate with the salary, in my opinion. If a man is ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 02:11 AM
137

During my time as a family law attorney (I live and work in the US), I represented dozens of women pro bono in DV cases and I have never been so disgusted by employers in my life as while I volunteered there. I had clients no-show me and the judge in protective order hearings, with the judge (old, white, decrepit male) saying “well I guess she doesn’t feel TOO unsafe since she didn’t see it through” just because their shit-for-brains managers (usually male and white) threatened to have them fire…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 08:18 PM
35

As opposed to his kids from the future?! Girl, run!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 08:07 PM
6

If it helps, as a former divorce attorney, the “more money on the wedding = more likely to divorce” thing, is just because people with fewer financial means cannot afford to get divorced as often. There are PLENTY of people out there, married as hell, living in different states from their spouses, just because they were too poor/lazy/uninterested to get a divorce. As a married woman, I have no tolerance for toxicity and neither does my husband. We had a small wedding of about 50. We balled out o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 05:40 PM
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