Boundaries around relationship stages

daisyinflux · 2020-12-05T19:15:35+00:00

First Question

A “just dating” benefit is he gets to go on a date with you, that’s it. You keep yourself as the number 1 priority. You live your life, work on a career, education, and date other men.

A “girlfriend benefit” is exclusivity, emotional support, and sex. You keep yourself as the number 1 priority in all other ways (career, finances, education) but now he is the only man you date.

A “wifey benefit” is all of the girlfriend benefits plus sharing children, some financial support, sharing a home, some cleaning, cooking, dedicated time, and the possibility of changing your life goals for his. (Never give up your career or your financial freedom even after your married in my opinion)

Second Question

For example, is having a dedicated lunch date every week reserved for him a dating benefit or a girlfriend benefit (or even a wifey thing??)

This is more of a long term girlfriend/wife benefit. If you are not exclusive you should not give him any dedicated time out of your life. Continue to focus on yourself and date other people.

Everyone is different so think of it as a guild line

I hope this helps :)

tallwomenneedlovetoo · 2020-12-05T17:53:58+00:00

Benefits? The benefit of being with you is getting to be with you. You don’t need to be exchanging anything to a man you’re dating to provide any type of benefit.

Don’t make yourself constantly available for some dude you just started dating or even a guy you’ve been dating seriously. He should never stop wooing you or finding ways to make you special and having a standing date to do the same thing once a week definitely lulls men into a sense of complacency by putting you in a position to be relied on as always being there without him having to put in any work or effort.

If he wants to see you once a week, then he needs to arrange for that but in no way think that you need to oblige if you have other plans, including just wanting to be by yourself. Keep living your life and don’t turn down engagements with friends or family that you’d jump on just because that’s a day he typically wants to see you. Same with last minute plans during pretty much every stage up to marriage. And even then, my husband knows better than to ask me to do something less than 2 days ahead of time, since I’m liable to make plans with my free time.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-12-05T18:02:28+00:00

[removed]

Title	Boundaries around relationship stages
Author	Ghost_namesake
Upvotes	65
Comments	10
Date	December 5, 2020 5:41 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/k7budf/boundaries_around_relationship_stages/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/boundaries-around-relationship-stages.738180 https://theredarchive.com/post/738180

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