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daisyinflux Archive

View 12 posts and 466 comments by daisyinflux on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
343

CULTURAL MISOGYNYdaisyinflux/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 03:37 AM
225

MOOD FOR LIFEdaisyinflux/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:16 AM
166

FDS TRANSLATES MENdaisyinflux/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:25 AM
139

PICKME CULTUREdaisyinflux/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 05:14 AM
124

THINGS SCROTES SAYdaisyinflux/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 04:12 AM
99

FDS RESCUE MISSIONdaisyinflux/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 11:06 PM
95

CULTURAL MISOGYNYdaisyinflux/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 08:02 PM
83

MALE DEPRAVITYdaisyinflux/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:35 AM
52

LEVEL UP BRO! daisyinflux/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 02:13 AM
31

SCROTES MADdaisyinflux/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:27 AM
7

daisyinflux/r/askFDS11/11/20 01:35 AM
1

NAH, SISdaisyinflux/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 03:03 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
41

I’ve been there. I’ve been on the “is my vulva considered attractive” rabbit hole even. I decided that it’s not my vulva’s job to “be attractive”. It’s to allow me great pleasure. And a woman connected to her own pleasure is the most attractive thing in the world. 💛
/r/askFDS21/12/20 01:35 AM
81

I’m guessing you’re young because this doesn’t exist in the same way as it does for my generation of men. Anyway, listen, a man who tells or shows you that he doesn’t adore every ounce of you is an LVM. Move on from those and eventually you may meet a HVM worth seeing you naked and enjoying you sexually. Men can be quite disgusting. Uh. Let’s also protect our mental health by staying off those areas of reddit/discord/insta and irl. Men like that do not deserve our attention.
/r/askFDS21/12/20 01:25 AM
11

Ooof, it hurt deep inside. Thanks for sharing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 02:59 AM
42

Same. I’m learning to trust the intuitions that have tried to save me in the past. I gaslit myself in the past.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 12:26 AM
2

That makes sense. :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 07:35 PM
4

I kind of just wish they would come in and explain to those people that they need to read the handbook, otherwise it just continues right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 07:09 PM
6

Thanks for the support. I was crying the other night about a similar situation and wondering what’s happening to FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 04:57 PM
8

Wow I’m glad I missed those. I reported one of her comments against FDS rules. This is supposed to be a safe place for us to level up, but lately we are having to argue with people who seem to think they belong here even if they don’t read the handbook and want to understand it. I totally get trying to learn and not understanding everything right away, but she’s not asking, she’s telling us that she disagrees with FDS. I don’t want to be in a group of women excusing men when that’s easily found …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:53 PM
3

SO WEIRD!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:47 PM
42

How dare you not cover your air holes with extra masks? What if a man got turned on by your natural need to breathe?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:37 PM
51

He failed those little tests when he was a kid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:36 PM
71

But who else can they blame for being victimized by their own entitlement? /eye roll at them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:36 PM
10

100% agree. This week I’ve seen a lot of people here who seem to blatantly disregard FDS values. I’m not even sure what to say to her if she doesn’t see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:26 PM
17

Exactly. It’s a lot of distorted thinking here to categorize “very beautiful and no kids” into a high value category (incel mindset). FDS stands tall and firm, even in this red flag extravaganza.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:25 PM
17

It’s very incel to blame others for your problems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:22 PM
28

I’m honestly surprised we don’t just walk around vomiting from all the stuff we have to hear from men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:22 PM
12

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:21 PM
38

Men come equipped with high levels of audacity after leaving the factory.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:20 PM
107

How would she have survived without him? /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 05:48 AM
90

...that earns her a lot of money. 😂🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 05:47 AM
13

WHAT SCIENCE?! Lol. You are not crazy. You did not react irrationally. You are responding to his utter disrespect for women and disregard for science.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 01:05 AM
51

That I’m not DOUBTING myself with him. If I feel insecure or confused, and I try to clarify, I actually feel grounded again, not just as confused and uncertain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 01:03 AM
6

She’s got a good head on her shoulders. It’s rare to find a woman who doesn’t. Men, on the other hand,...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 01:00 AM
7

Exactly! The same shit happened to Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, and other famous women. You cannot be successful, attractive, and believe in yourself if you’re a woman. That’s the ultimate threat to the patriarchy. And when I say attractive, I don’t mean by “standards” even.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 12:58 AM
7

This has been a huge insight to me lately. I knew women who ghosted my ex and I knew why, but I still believed they shouldn’t have ghosted bc it seemed disrespectful/rude/immature. Now? I recognize those women were queens all along. We don’t owe them education, training, or explanations!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:50 PM
21

Yes that absolutely makes sense! This Internet porn age is TERRIFYING. It’s too accessible and normalized. I can’t. Can we start a new world on another planet please
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:48 PM
3

You sound clearheaded for someone so sleep deprived. Trust yourself. 💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:46 PM
10

I was just wondering the other day how many guys actually wipe till the TP is clear...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:45 PM
7

This is everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:44 PM
18

Why do men not learn how to clean their asses?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:44 PM
7

Men don’t even communicate this stuff to us, so why do you need to? If he’s not confirming exclusivity, you aren’t exclusive. He can act all betrayed if he learns otherwise, but that’s just gonna’ show you he’s an entitled LVM who thought it was okay to set relationship standards for the both of you on his own. Only kiss who you want to kiss. Date. Have fun. Enjoy the ride.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:39 PM
31

Yes! Normalize speaking out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:37 PM
8

Agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:36 PM
27

Omgosh. I’m so so sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:36 PM
30

Yeah, “therapy” is not a stand-alone cure for domestic violence. I doubt he actually changed, only picked up the right sentences to use to look like he’s in progress.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:35 PM
8

This was super helpful. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:33 PM
42

She’s written incredible songs even from album 1 but has grown a lot. Her “better than revenge” song was one she apologized for since it was slut shaming and such. Her story amazes me. There’s a doc on Netflix she put out this year about how she was treated and how difficult it was for her to manage her own mental health issues while everyone kept telling her she was horrible and bad for no reason. She’s the poster child for misogyny attacks from all genders. There’s no bigger red flag for me wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:31 PM
9

Long gone are the days of “should I have the talk with him, ahhh, does he want to be my boyfriend”. Usher in a new age of FDS-inspired women who — in response to a request for low value dates, sexual advances, and confusing communication about the relationship status — respond with: “oh, can’t we just see where this goes though?” Taste of their own damn medicine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:21 PM
56

Yeah, that’s disturbing. But isn’t porn also exposing young boys (and girls) to stuff that ends up slowly changing their brains to like it? So porn could somewhat cause desire for things we don’t naturally desire? I don’t know the answer to this, genuinely curious if (all) men are just naturally wired to want violence against women and sexual abuse with children? If so, extra disturbed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:18 PM
69

“Let’s just see where it goes.” Okay, but that’s gonna’ be a see where it goes while we go on expensive adventures and don’t have sex ‘cause I’m also seeing where your intentions go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 02:13 PM
1

In this case, he bought several attachments to increase pain as a purpose. It’s more about his intention and belief about the receiver than the toy itself. It’s totally fine that it feels good for you. Had he been dating you and you requested it, it’d be a different story
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 02:06 PM
4

You’ve been teaching me a lot, queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 04:28 AM
26

I’m so glad it’s more than this. I hate being lumped into a group who also calls the police for a black person being black just because I want to talk to someone who has the power to solve my problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 04:07 AM
3

Yeah it’s a special type of soap for shaving! I use the one from Tierra Marie Organics. Cheaper, longer lasting, easier to see what I’m shaving, and way less irritation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 04:06 AM
2

This is related to a post a woman made about a man treating her poorly and claiming to love him. Why are you telling me how it’s best to spend my time? I’m not the first person to share about a conversation they had.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 04:03 AM
31

And why don’t you care that one of your best buddies doesn’t want to be my friend too? Or what are you saying to her that she doesn’t like me? Or you’re banging her, I don’t care how devoted she is to the other LVM in her life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:59 AM
3

😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:57 AM
29

Whoa...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:56 AM
20

What came on the inserts? 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:55 AM
2

Have you tried shaving soap? Changed my sensitive skin life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:55 AM
9

Hit the nail on its head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:53 AM
9

Thank you for sharing the history! I didn’t even know it was an acronym.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:46 AM
13

Ooo what’s the Karen story?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:46 AM
2

Okay, but do you believe you can love someone after knowing them six months, while they are treating you poorly?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:43 AM
2

I hear you. I’m only interested in men who ask me exactly what you said so maybe I’m just not fully there yet in my head. Thanks, queen. You aren’t a prude for liking what you like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:14 AM
2

This post makes me happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:12 AM
3

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:12 AM
3

You explained this even better than I’ve tried to in my comments. Thank you. And that chemical stage can last up to two years, but around four months is average! Lol. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 01:51 AM
1

I gutted him hard on that one by letting him know my ex had no problem doing that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 01:49 AM
5

I still like different types of impact play, for sure. Though I am not someone who wants to be “hurt” anymore. I just enjoy the way it heightens my pleasure. I use impact play alone, too. I also enjoy edge play and orgasm control (another thing i use alone too). My recent ex and I used to play a game where I had to wait to come till he counted down, for instance. There weren’t consequences or anything; it just both turned us on to slightly exchange power that way. I feel like my desires shifted …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 01:48 AM
8

I don’t even think they realize how screwed up they are. People DO work through their trauma with BDSM...but there’s such a difficult line in that community between safe and unsafe. I’ve heard too many stories of toxicity. I believe FDS is completely against BDSM activities, but I just see it as people in pain trying to figure out what to do/who they are/how to overcome. Some are conscious of it; some are not. Now...the type of BDSM I’ve seen displayed in porn, THAT frightens me. I know a lot of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 01:31 AM
2

100%!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 01:24 AM
6

Yeah, I like the way you put it. The thing is - people never really define the word love, so they can use it however they want because they make up the definition. I prefer to think of love as actions toward someone rather than feelings. “I love” isn’t a feeling grammatically either (this is just me being pedantic). Feeling loving, enchanted, compassionate, tender, giddy, blissful - sure. But saying “I love you” to someone you hardly know...what is that exactly? I believe (just opinions here) th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 01:23 AM
10

I smacked him with how my ex had no problem making me quiver with his fingertip (he hates my ex) and then he just spiraled into his own depression. LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 08:03 PM
7

Maybe others can give more info too but what I’ve seen is that men decide and know if they want to commit pretty early on. Once invested, they don’t un-uninvest easily. Doesn’t mean it’s true love or anything, right? Also I’d guess it’s pretty rare for a woman to strategically manipulate a man for six months about who she is whereas our collective experiences show that men do this on the regular and require us to vet the shit out of them. What do YOU think? Your inner voice matters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 08:02 PM
2

Yup. I should write a post about my own journey with this. I still like certain aspects but the one thing that utterly turns me off is sadism. My last ex (who I miss terribly and comment/post about) was so caring that when I suggested he spank me during sex, he was like “are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.” And he meant it as in, hitting a woman is wrong, not he was super strong and would HURT me. You know? A woman also asked him to choke her during sex once and she ended up laughing at him …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 08:00 PM
4

I agree with everyone here. We are very close and his partner consents to his sharing with me. It’s a weird relationship. We are exes and decided to remain housemates for years after. I was basically fucking with him because I know him so well. I just had to share his slip about laziness. For anyone worried, I’m actually moving out on my own after our lease ends next year. For now, there’s a general peace keeping living in the same house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 07:56 PM
10

Maybe that’s what bothers me so much - that it dilutes the meaning. I can be a bit pedantic when it comes to language! I prefer to expand my vocabulary when I’m expressing those feelings anyway. If you are in a LTR, you start saying I love you at every goodbye. I KNOW when someone loves me. It’s clear. I don’t need them to throw the word at me so much that I question if it means nothing to them. /jaded about the word itself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 07:54 PM
38

Yeah, he tried to make it out like he enjoyed giving pleasure too, but... my theory is that a lot of guys who enjoy giving pleasure are only in it for the way it validates them. It’s not really about enjoying the other person experiencing pleasure. And trust that I outright asked: how come you didn’t buy a vibrator? He said wants to buy one that is notoriously intense and really used for a type of BDSM pleasure torture. Also...they call the electric things violet wands. I wonder who came up with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 07:46 PM
3

The direction can be so simple like “use this part of your tongue” or “focus here” and they even implement it effectively...then forget? And then forget again after multiple lessons. What am I supposed to do, put them on a performance improvement plan to kick their butts into gear? What are they even learning from porn anyway? That their dick is the center of the universe?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 07:43 PM
4

Yes please it’s perfect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 07:22 AM
1

He is belittling her, right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:18 AM
1

It’s disheartening but seeing young women like you so wise...gives me hope. Also don’t mean to say it like I’m that much older. I just wasn’t aware of that stuff at your age. I’m so glad I found FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:06 AM
5

THANK YOU. I feel like I was on an island in other comments. There’s even one commenter saying she needs to communicate with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:03 AM
4

He knows better than her how she should direct funds in her life. = does not see her as an equal He puts down her passion and pride = he’s already demeaning her this early? Huge age gap, she’s 21 = he’s a predator, come on He’s love bombing her with money and gifts = she’s in a slippery slope of control Thoughts? They seem glaring to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:02 AM
1

You can’t communicate someone into respecting you and seeing you as an equal. They also have a HUGE age gap and he’s love-bombing her. I’m sorry you can’t see the red flags everywhere. I can smell the gasoline all over your comments to me. You’re telling me that despite the fact that my gut and the guts of all the commenters here, I must be thinking too much into this and he’s not that bad. Even the OP has commented saying she recognizes this isn’t a good situation. If you didn’t have a post/com…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:00 AM
8

I see so many red flags on him that I can’t consider him anyone’s HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:54 AM
2

I’m so glad you’re here. Visit daily and read comments on posts that strike a nerve. You’ll learn quick that you were wise all along. No matter what anyone tells you about your age, btw, you know what you know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:53 AM
3

I’m sure you heard about the Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky scandal too? There’s a great podcast that breaks down how publicly we shamed her and overlooked the blatant sexual harassment and grooming from him, our amazing president. Everyone fucking loved him. You’re Wrong About They also do a great series on princess Diana and the way she was treated and Tonya Harding and how abused she was publicly. If you want to get a good view of the 90s... This shit was so normal. So much has changed yet …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:49 AM
1

I’m sorry, but you are doing the “communicate” thing we trash here. And yes, “people” will encourage someone to start a business then tell them how to run it, take credit for success, demean her for failure, be patronizingly “proud” of her for being able to put on big-boy pants and run a business. She didn’t ask for his money for her business. There are so many red flags youre missing and I feel like I’m debating with someone on the relationship subreddit. This is a place for awakening, not defe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:45 AM
48

Can confirm. LVM are a dime a dozen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:42 AM
3

NO APOLOGY NECESSARY, QUEEN.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:36 AM
3

Guessing you’re maybe a decade younger than me but yeah, not only did Allen do that but it was incredibly PUBLIC. I can’t believe what was overlooked in the 90s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:35 AM
18

Yep! Only thing you missed out on was extra trash to take out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:28 AM
4

Another sign to me is anytime we feel the need to write out paragraphs to others to validate what we feel, it’s because we already know something is wrong but we’ve been taught not to trust ourselves our whole lives. His line of thinking shows he does not see her as an equal. It’s not a one-time thing. It’s not a mistake. FDS has taught me not to ignore this shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:19 AM
1

Look harder, girl. That’s a huge red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:15 AM
24

It’s become apparent than men put more effort into gaslighting women than...anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:12 AM
3

I know you mean well. However, he does not respect her as an equal and never will. Only your elders like your parents or mentors should talk to you about what they foresee for you. A partner should not tell you that the way you want to live your life is in any way wrong or frivolous. Also...gifts are about the receiver but he’s saying he wants to gift her money and tell her how he wants her to spend it. Red flags all over.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:58 AM
3

Absolutely condescending and patronizing. He’s saying he knows better than you about yourself. Also, I can make my own money to start my business, thanks, you don’t need to take credit for my success dude. Gifts are about spoiling someone usually beyond necessity. Also one of my top love languages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:53 AM
29

Desperate for attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:50 AM
175

Can we make a new sub Reddit that’s called feminismmoderatedbywomen and askfeministsmoderatedbyrealfeminists ?! LOLOL Also can we collective get together to get him out?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:38 AM
28

Yup! Guys like this, you teach and they learn for one session or less then “forget” even when you teach over and over. It’s another way in which I thought guys were dumb and incompetent when I was the naive bitch! If they wanted to, they would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:36 AM
59

It’s a type of gaslighting, isn’t it? To take on victimhood when they caused the problem? But then twist it because you had a reasonable reaction?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:35 AM
16

And they aren’t even good at it!!! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:34 AM
9

Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:32 AM
53

Yep. You can’t possibly have typed all that out believing this is right for you. Your values have to be bigger than those silly feelings telling you to bond with a loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:31 AM
3

I figured you meant no harm since you’re a woman!!! LOL, the recipe IS being self centered. 💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:14 AM
4

Update: he saw porn the first time at age 9 and had access to masterbate to it at 14. I was 15 the first time I even SAW nudity and other than appreciating the body of a beautiful woman, I was a bit horrified and shaken and felt wrong about what I was seeing. Ugh. I’m glad I grew up when I did, I guess. Him being that young is absolutely sexual abuse... eye opening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 08:18 PM
7

I like that asking what their currently reading implies that you just expect them to read. 💪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 08:15 PM
8

He was one of those “if he wanted to, he would have” situations. I had to force him to quit nicotine because it disrupted our lives but he just snuck behind my back and then started up again the moment we broke up. Had to force him to see a dentist for the first time. Had to force him to buy undies that weren’t shredded. Like...the whole ridiculous deal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 08:14 PM
2

I’m going to ask him when it started. I cant believe how open my eyes are about porn. It wasn’t really big when I was young - you would spend hours downloading a very grainy clip or you got ahold of a magazine - so at least my teens and early 20s with guys was rather tame compared to now. But this ex is 8 years younger than me so he aged up during the porn age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 08:11 PM
8

LOL even if it isn’t, it’s not enough to have good dick if it comes attached to this! So many of us have been trapped in a guy’s dicksand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 08:08 PM
18

He felt so much insecurity about my desire to find satisfaction elsewhere. He still drove me to 3 stores and helped me test toys to find the perfect one, but yeah...he has serious sexuality issues. I don’t want to play that game ever again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 03:23 PM
15

3 minutes would have been nice. 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 03:21 PM
18

Yes! He was and is still ashamed of his sexuality. I was convinced he might have experienced sexual abuse, especially with how defensive that idea made him even though he can’t remember a lot of his childhood. I would never argue I KNEW what happened if I didn’t remember...but, men. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Now though, I’m wondering if porn itself can create a similar pattern as sexual abuse?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 03:21 PM
3

It makes me want to read it all over again with new eyes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 03:19 PM
10

Your first paragraph was incredibly insightful, and I completely agree. It’s not really about the exact thing they choose but whether or not they’re using the right things to stimulate their mind! I love it! Between comic books and video games, I just can’t with men. 😂 I watched most of the series before I read the books (the story doesn’t match the books in later seasons anyway). I think that just increased my enjoyment of it because I could picture characters instead of having to figure out wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 02:58 PM
38

More so, when you value yourself over all else, you have strong boundaries, seek out what you want and need, and you’re busy af living your best life. These energies and behaviors are attractive to everyone. And a high value human doesn’t want to overfunction in a relationship with someone who has unclear boundaries, never prioritizes themselves, and seems to be hinging on getting a text back. But agree about your premise for LVMs! Edit: I also want to add that that’s the goal - to be your highe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 02:41 PM
26

I agree, but I also have exes who choose profoundly incredible women. Another flag is how deeply they got to know the women, what kind of relationship is maintained after...and how she left. I never realized that women ghosting my ex was because of him - I thought they were disrespectful and immature to not “communicate” what happened before they left. Now...ha...I see why they did what they did, and I recognize they were wiser than me all along.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 02:36 PM
12

You’re right. I want to know not just IF you read, but what. I want to know who you look up to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 02:32 PM
26

Maybe it depends on your own standards? I love reading, I consider myself an “intellectual” who’s constantly trying to learn, etc. Every guy I’ve dated read, but they read teen-level fiction books usually. I’ve been thinking a lot on whether or not my standard shouldn’t just be reading actual books vs. short-form internet reading but also reading at least 50% non-fiction. I loved the sookie stackhouse series, for instance. I get the fiction love! But...I want a grown up who can debate topics wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 02:31 PM
13

I want to love her, but I’m constantly disappointed by her pickme ways. Just another woman who takes the sides of our oppressors instead of using her position of power to speak out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 02:28 PM
110

Wow. His entirety is a red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 02:14 PM
60

100% would not stay in a relationship with someone suffering ED unless they were at the age of necessity (80+). I’ll add premature ejaculation with no efforts to change and no change to the problem. Does it relate to porn usage too? One of my exes even believed that since he quickly jerked off to porn by standing at his computer as a youngin’ worrying someone would walk in, he programmed himself. Did he go no fap in an attempt to let his brain re-wire after numerous tears and fights from our dis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 02:11 PM
7

Ohhhh. That’s cool. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 04:24 AM
25

So many incels started following me. Little do they know I don’t even know when I’m being downvoted nor what it means.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 04:23 AM
2

Could this really have been written by a woman?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 04:01 AM
3

Same but it felt weird. I’m so grateful for veterans helping me open my eyes wider!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 04:00 AM
53

Yeah, the tone seemed weird and I didn’t understand the motivation. I would imagine a woman who is raped and scared to come forward would go to Reddit to share her story without having to out herself. Gotta’ love the propaganda they’re feeding to women that they should just take the rape and move on with their lives...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 03:58 AM
9

Muzmatch? 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 03:55 AM
35

Literally so many woman are incredible!!!! I only met a few handfuls out of thousands that I truly disliked or was utterly bored by (usually both).... yet men are constant disappointments?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 03:54 AM
64

I just realize that I’m not the only woman who’s had a man try to tell me about my own motivations instead of just asking. Wow. Gaslight parade.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 03:52 AM
3

I’m not on TickTock, but is there a way for you to give me a link to this that I could post somewhere?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 03:50 AM
4

Oh wow, thanks for letting me know. That’s intense. I didn’t realize that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 01:11 PM
14

Take time for yourself. It took me 5 months to feel more like myself and 6 to start enjoying my company so much I worry about compromising it.
/r/askFDS08/12/20 03:42 AM
8

All of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 02:56 AM
9

The only thing that anyone can upgrade is themselves!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 02:13 AM
10

“You do not get cool points for degrading yourself.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 02:09 AM
8

I was thinking about this last night. If I was seeing a guy for enough time that I wanted to become intimate but didn’t want to have sex yet, I might start by doing things like making out in bed or on a couch and moving his hand away and expressing verbally that I’m not ready for more. This would be just another great test of how much a guy respect your boundaries and cares about how you feel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 02:08 AM
4

There’s no where the two of you can kiss outside? I’m in a state that had ongoing lockdown since March and it’s pretty strict, but they don’t require us to wear masks in public unless we are getting within 6 feet of someone that’s outside our household. No one would pause for two people kissing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 02:07 AM
27

I’m so down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 02:01 AM
6

They look pretty nice! A lot of guys here know how to do their hair so they put it in slicked back ponytails, they take pride in their beards too. It’s like a thing. Mountain men usually have shorter hair but it isn’t neat, they usually have some facial hair, they wear hats all the time, I dunno The way I’ve heard it described to me by people from Colorado is to imagine that you’ve lived your entire life in a town with only like 100 people that actually live there if that, and then just a ton of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 01:22 AM
3

I don’t know how long ago you lived here, but everyone native I meet tells me it’s drastically changed in the last 5 years even! I haven’t really met more DJs here than we’re on from, but I’m definitely from a bigger party area! Nonetheless, far too many people casually do nitrous and ketamine at parties and that type of drugging is all about not existing/dissolving your brain. I’m sure it’s fun, but I would prefer to hang with intentional, present folks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 01:18 AM
5

Good! There are a ton of hot guys here that are just not my type. I dunno if any are of value, but attraction is a start!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 01:16 AM
73

It’s quite a reductive argument from fighting for our rights to equal pay, equal opportunity, equal education all free from harassment, rape, and domestic violence. All they hear is we think we deserve more and undeserved pay for different work so why aren’t we pulling our weight financially? Simpletons who can’t think critically.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 01:13 AM
4

I think it depends on how assertively you project yourself and how much those women choose to cross boundaries, for sure! One of my tricks is to overshare my weirdness as a means of getting people to not bother me. I also enjoy talking to people with very different views and exploring it with them, and I never mind stating that it’s becoming unprofessional. Absolutely depends on comfort and their overall disrespect!
/r/askFDS07/12/20 05:35 PM
7

Sure! You’ve got a few categories and they can overlap: guys super into outdoors. They want to travel, hike 14ers, ski/snowboard, etc. guys who love craft beer and have that sort of bro-personality, except the bros here are also the same as festival/red rocks concert guys so they have a different look stoner types (it’s a look, not really a behavior here) / “wooks” as they call them who don’t really have jobs/decent jobs, travel during festival season despite needing a savings, mooch off everyon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 05:05 PM
7

By statistics there are more women than men in the Denver metropolitan area, but I wouldn’t recommend moving here for dating unless you like the type of looks and personalities that congregate here. It’s very specific.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 02:26 PM
5

It’s one of the boundaries we need to strengthen - just biting our tongue after asserting our truth, not explaining ourselves when no one is even inquiring why. The women who respond to you and want to know more about your line of thinking are the ones that you’ll probably end up connecting with on a deeper level and possibly inspiring to transcend in their own lives!
/r/askFDS07/12/20 02:24 PM
2

lol, well I’m glad it inspired you to extend a definition to yourself! It’s all the little and big things that matter just like it was all the little and big things we’ve settled on not getting in the past! So fuck yes, queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 02:22 PM
5

Yessss!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 06:15 AM
13

There’s a Carrie underwood song where she sees her ex happy with a family many years later and the chorus is some thing like “but I thank God I didn’t get what I thought that I deserved” and it always hit me hard because I thought I deserved shit. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 04:30 AM
2

Girl, so relatable. Obsessing is a skill, right? Well guess what, you honed it so well and now it’s time to turn it in on yourself!
/r/askFDS07/12/20 04:29 AM
25

LOL, I know. I have so many great stories about him and his toxic ways. I guess this didn’t shock me because it’s so in line with what I would expect of him. I’ve spent too much time over the years pondering how he could just become better and stable with her when he never could be that way with me. But if that’s who he is seven years later, then he’s been treating her in the same toxic ways he’s treated the three girlfriends before her. They don’t really change when they’re that screwed up unle…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 04:18 AM
1

Absolutely. You’re going to need a lot of resources and support, and you’re going to have to make a commitment to truly give love to yourself every day. You will get where you need to go, I promise you.
/r/askFDS07/12/20 04:13 AM
31

No it’s totally cool. I found her name. I forgot they had a public wedding registry when they got married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 04:13 AM
69

Oh no he wanted to impregnate me and marry me, not make babies to raise with her. We women are interchangeable playthings, ya know? /annoyedaf We were both just objects to him and when she couldn’t give him what he needed, he remembered the woman who was so easy to impregnate that it happened by accident. He’s awful. They’ve spent seven years losing fetus after fetus and I am sure she’s beyond heartbroken. She’s a really good woman. But, like many pickmeishas before her, I don’t even know if tel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 04:10 AM
19

Ugh! She never changed her last name and I don’t remember what her last name was. This was seven years ago and I only knew her last name from Facebook at the time. He’s not stupid and he’s done everything to ensure that I can’t contact her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 04:00 AM
2

Go to FDS and do a search about crushes, obsession, etc. I would also recommend that you find a great therapist if you don’t already have one. This type of behavior goes much deeper than one guy.
/r/askFDS07/12/20 03:59 AM
3

Do you want to have a future with someone that you constantly have to reassure? Do you think that your behavior will change over time in order to manage his emotions? Will you feel like less of yourself or more of yourself as time goes on with this guy? Be honest with your answers, but don’t say you want to be with “him“. Tell me whether you want to be with a guy that has the above qualities.
/r/askFDS07/12/20 03:57 AM
3

Because why not? It’s pretty low effort to send a text message or like a photo or give us a call.
/r/askFDS07/12/20 03:55 AM
4

Tell me all the reasons why you think it’s the best. Tell me about the times in those four months when you questioned what you were doing but then didn’t listen to yourself. What kind of red flags did you see? How did you feel when you were around him and away from him? Was he really right for you? Or was he just right in the right now?
/r/askFDS07/12/20 03:55 AM
42

I don’t find it effective when I tell other people to do some thing with their lives, unless they are directly asking me for that. I try to be a little bit more creative in my communication by asking really pointed questions that don’t necessarily have a predetermined answer. I won’t say something like, “don’t you think you need to be treated better than he’s treating you?” But I might ask something like, “does it bother you that he’s still on tinder?” or “do you enjoy paying for trips?”/“ what …
/r/askFDS07/12/20 03:52 AM
44

Single women are a threat to people in relationships, sometimes directly and often ideologically. Usually they’re not super happy in their own relationships or at the least they are bored. You can’t be out there living your best life single. No way! Since you’re not interested in dating right now, I think I would respond to that first with the fact that I’m not interested in dating right now. If they were like “oh but if you were, what kind of guy would you like?” I might be open to answering th…
/r/askFDS07/12/20 03:42 AM
21

Thanks for caring! I think I have to pay to get that information? I looked through his profile and I don’t see her name anywhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 03:37 AM
3

What are some ways for you to really enjoy your time by yourself and what kind of support do you have when you don’t want be alone? You’ll find that nurturing relationships with women and with yourself will for fill you in ways that LVM men never did. The loneliness subsides.
/r/askFDS07/12/20 03:00 AM
9

You are way too young to worry about being behind. Most of the people that are in relationships right now won’t be in a relationship in the next 10 years if not less. Do yourself a favor and think back to 10 years ago at what kind of boys you were attracted to and tell me whether you’d be sure that they would be good guys for you now. All of the friends you have that are coupling up at such a young age and thinking it’s forever are, unfortunately, wrong. All of the data shows that and if you sta…
/r/askFDS07/12/20 02:57 AM
11

Hey lady, I’m sure you’ll hear a lot of “no, no, no” from the queens. What I want to know, is what you think? What you feel? Do you think the cons on the con list are acceptable? Do you think this is all you deserve? What do you think the future holds with this guy? If you’ve not done this type of exercise before, please do it now, and share. The problem isn’t that you don’t know what to do, you came here and said things like you’re losing your mind over this. The only problem is that you don’t …
/r/askFDS07/12/20 02:51 AM
236

And the fact is that most women wish that most men didn’t want to fuck them. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 02:48 AM
6

I am so so happy you are here. Thank you for revealing your pickmeisha list. Our only accountability is not recognizing ourselves!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 02:30 AM
169

Wow. This is not unrealistic. An ex that left me seven years ago reached out to me last year to ask me if I would mother his children because his wife had so many miscarriages and it was unlikely that she would be able to get pregnant. Not joking. He left me right after we completed an abortion. I love seeing karma in action. By the way, he locked all of her social media stuff so I have no way of finding her, but I wanted to. 
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 02:27 AM
44

I even read “why men love bitches” in my 20s. While there was a lot of good stuff (I still have notecards I pasted to my wall from back then!), there wasn’t a great connection to men themselves. FDS opened my eyes to how smart and strategic men are, and how naive we are to believe they’re dumb. After the book, I was still left excusing their behavior for so many reasons never addressed. FDS made it clear cut that if he wanted to, he would, and if he doesn’t have to for the same benefit, he won’t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 11:09 PM
2

That’s so relatable. My ex had a lot of issues with his sense of self worth. One of those guys who slept with a ton of women because he needed the validation. I have a past pattern of trying to level myself with a guy and be the understanding one. No mooore. Thank you so much. I’ll see you around these here parts!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 09:45 PM
7

Right there with you, queen. I am attracted to tall guys. Somehow, men twist that to mean that women are horrible, but I don’t see anyone complaining about the fact that tall guys like us short girls, which is also a commodity! Now I’m curious what you mean by sex to add to her list. Do you mean masturbation? I feel like we need an entire post where we talk about our favorite ways to get ourselves off and recommend the best toys. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 09:31 PM
46

I’m 37 and I look at most, 25. I have to fight at every turn for people to take me seriously unless I’m already in a position of power. While my intelligence about men, self love, and my career has grown over the years, I was still fucking brilliant at 25. In fact, I would say that I I could debate the best when I was in my teens, I had so much energy and could remember so much more! I think the whole thing is wildly inappropriate. I can’t be the only person who’s spoken to a four-year-old or an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 09:27 PM
64

Hopefully FDS saves a lot of younger women from having to wait till their 30s like I did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 09:22 PM
12

I’d let him think we had plans and then when he hit me up on Friday, I would play dumb and be like oh I thought that you weren’t sure if you could make plans so I did some thing else. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 09:21 PM
2

Yeah, 🤔 what are they eating for breakfast? Not like they can cook for themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 09:20 PM
13

Right? You can either make plans with me or you can’t. I have (female) friends that do this too. It’s absolute disrespect. Here we are trying to plan to see each other and you’re going to asked me to hold a day for you that you can’t hold. No.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 09:20 PM
16

Considering the business model as it’s been for years has been for Amazon to try to buy off companies that are doing something that integrates with them or copy them until they put that the original company out of business, I would agree with you. Copy, copy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 09:16 PM
13

Not to mention the fact that the two of them have not yet explored the world together as two people, so who knows how he would treat her in real life in different situations! This applies to people who think that they’re in love under one year of knowing someone too, like how much have you actually experienced together during that time to where you can make a logical decision about that? But then again, people just become victims to the way they feel and label it love!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 09:11 PM
20

Yeah, I know that that’s not the most problematic thing that was in the original post, but I’m right there with you. There are plenty of guys that I used to Skype with back in the day (I’m almost middle aged) Who looked so damn hot on that video chat and it was so comfortable and nice. And then when I met them, it was just different. People are different in 3-D like you said, they have smells and mannerisms and it’s just different.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 09:10 PM
5

Having different step ladders in my house has liberated my 5’ frame. 😂 Share your list with us when you make one. There are probably so many other women struggling with your exact same question.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 08:11 PM
21

It’s like people don’t even know the difference between porn and real life anymore. In my youth, it was Paris Hilton‘s sex tape and the Tommy Lee, Pamela Anderson sex tape. They were clearly very personal tapes that got leaked. Cameraman to me automatically means porn. The other details you described about posing and such... yeah. Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 07:32 PM
19

What are some places you would want to go, experiences you would want to have, material things that you would like to own, or even errands and chores you wish someone would just take care of for you? Try to make yourself a list of all the ways your life could be better if those things happened, and that is a list of ways in which a man could begin to bring value into your life. Otherwise, what exactly is he bringing into your life? Attention? Validation? Sex?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 07:21 PM
46

Yeah, I can’t even understand someone being the love of your life until you’ve actually met them and interacted in person. And this is coming from someone who has formed a lot of deep relationships online over the years. It can be real, and deep, and meaningful to you, but it’s not irl love unless it’s IRL!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 07:19 PM
44

I LOVE yelling at the TV. I watched all of greys anatomy over pandemic time and my roommate kept having to say “did you say something” to which I would respond with a rant about the ongoing sexism and ridiculousness going on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 07:17 PM
11

It sounds like they purposefully made a pornographic video. How is that homemade and for their eyes only?! Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 07:03 PM
11

Okay, I’ll find the comment! Thank you!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 07:00 PM
4

Holy fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 06:42 PM
7

LOLOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 06:30 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 06:30 PM
5

The first time I drove in a bad snowstorm, I could not get my windshield to clear unless I put the cold AC on full blast. It was freezing in my car and I kept having to switch back-and-forth so as to not shake from the cold. It was insane, and I still don’t understand why things work sometimes and not others. I now have windshield wiper fluid that melts my windshield, so I don’t think I’ll ever be in that particular situation again but it was awful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 05:27 PM
206

Exactly. Men are somehow always the victim even when they created the situation that victimized them...and women can never be victims. Whaaat!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 05:20 PM
13

Can I get an amen for all the times that men have claimed they know how to do some thing and then fuck it up or wing it or take forever to do something you realize you could have done faster? For me, there’s been some programming to undo around what things I’m capable of doing and what things I’m not capable of doing. I’m so competent but I can’t learn how to do car/house/computer stuff? Please. Also, Society tries to tell us that men are the only ones who can fix cars or whatever, but then they…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 05:17 PM
9

Okay, what’s the secret here? I’m successful at de-fogging only half the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 05:15 PM
20

I’m so glad someone made a post about this, thank you! To speak specifically about pubic hair, I have been turned off my entire life by guys that say they prefer it or that she should at least trim, or at the worst that they won’t even date a girl unless she completely shaves all of it off. I knew something was wrong, but it took me a long time to realize how misogynistic this is to say a woman’s natural state is not acceptable. Even the whole “no one wants to get pubic hair in their mouth” is b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 05:12 PM
95

Since I don’t even know who that is and certainly don’t want to search out some thing that’s going to be disturbing to me, can you describe what you saw? I just wanna join the conversation!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 03:44 PM
27

Wow to that last piece of info.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 03:43 PM
38

I might even be a bit glib if a guy asked me this, “what do you mean by type?” or “are there predetermined type options in the VIP package?” If a guy asks me something that doesn’t feel easy (TRUST YOURSELF, queen!), he’s gonna’ get either a test or a difficult answer back that shows him he has to work harder. Guys who ask that question are usually not my type, too. What about you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 03:42 PM
37

I love that you linked this to laziness. It’s the most effective logic for why I shouldn’t do something. No over-functioning in relationships!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 03:39 PM
10

Wow, the depravity deepens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 02:55 PM
3

Your first paragraph = exactly! I care this much about what people think: Me = 100% Close friends I trust and respect = 50% Family = 25-50% Men I’m dating for longer than a year = 25-50% Men I hardly know = 0%. 😂 I’m so excited for your journey in breaking through speaking your mind! I seemed to speak my mind so easily till an attractive guy came along and dismantled my self-worth. I felt like two different versions of myself often. But if I’m honest, I just never cared enough and valued what I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 02:52 PM
46

You can’t even know a person before a year. It’s such hilarity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 04:51 AM
4

I see the applicability of FDS in every area and with everyone, especially since a lot of the problem was me and my dismissal of myself. I’m so glad it can help you and that you feel welcome here even though we talk constantly about men. 😂 💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 04:45 AM
5

Absolutely about the difference with dating women. Most men are strategizing how to get sex/attention/validation/whatever for the least amount of effort. Women aren’t usually THAT depraved even at their worst. Does that agree with your experience? I’ve had a ton of lesbian friends throughout my life and they’ve constantly told me that all of the problems I would complain about in regards to men were because I was dating...men. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 04:17 AM
2

Also I could see having made the same mistake as you if I was on Reddit and only heard about the stuff or sought here and there. I wish I could remember how I stumbled onto FDS but I’m pretty sure I was looking for this information without realizing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 03:37 AM
6

You said this so beautifully. I like the fact that the value really isn’t about who somebody is but how they treat you in particular. There’s a part of me that believes that there’s some guys that tow the line between high value and low value depending on how the woman behaves, but I’m not sure. And I think the reason that we feel so resentful of low value guys is because what it really means is that they’re too lazy to make efforts for us but still expect us to give them the world!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 03:37 AM
19

Facts
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 03:07 AM
5

Yes back atcha’! For me, it’s not about whether or not they care, but that I just don’t give a f*** anymore if they do. I’m starting to think any guy who doesn’t think I’m incredible must have a disability and I’m just sad for them being unable to love and enjoy me. Oh and I didn’t mean vulnerable topics (I’m honestly not even sure what i would find vulnerable...) I meant just sharing opinions and views. For instance, I wouldn’t call someone on an offhand comment, or act like they’re on the righ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 03:04 AM
44

Are there a good amount of men who don’t watch porn? Like, it’s okay if not because I’ll just date myself but... curious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:37 AM
104

I’m floored by his disrespect toward her by assuming he could spend her money because she belongs to him so her money belongs to him? Funny how if you switch the genders, this is what men claim makes us evil!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:34 AM
20

I’ve been thinking the same thing about how I feel when I’m talking to guys on OLD! I have this whole new perspective that is all about observing their behavior and trying to determine if I want to give them more attention. Sometimes I’ll log back in to read the response a day later and realized that I missed spelled something wrong or mis-wrote something so it didn’t make sense like I thought it did. I stop myself from correcting it or apologizing for my mistake, I’ll just restate whatever I me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:29 AM
26

Men are so much smarter than we realize. This minor effort on his part sent you into a tailspin, divided you from a woman who obviously needs a strong friend like you to save her, and drove you to a place of having to earn him. Such manipulation. Any one of us could be and have been victim to this. So glad you’re here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:21 AM
4

This is so relatable. I second feeling way more equipped to handle literally everything in my life and finding the most supportive community here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:18 AM
6

This. Mindfulness in the present.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:17 AM
13

There was some silly women friendship movie I watched recently (can’t remember name) and they instituted the response “it’s true”. For me it feels a little bit different than having to say I know, and allows me to be a little bit more present to hearing what someone is saying about me and reflecting on whether or not i agree! 💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:14 AM
4

It’s such an immature view of what love is too, especially since it’s you know and over 30 sub Reddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 11:46 PM
4

100%, queen! I knew that I badly wanted to comment on posts here, but I had no idea how supportive, uplifting, validating, educational this experience would become. I feel like I have a real community. Thank you, by the way, I definitely wasn’t struggling as much as a lot of people are, but mentally I was going a little cabin fever insane.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 11:16 PM
6

You’re right. I feel like I was already on my path to FDS before I found it and then I was probably even googling something that helped me found it but I don’t remember. I was ready and I wanted to level up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 11:15 PM
8

The painful realization that anytime women gather together to try to make anyone’s life better, people will try to take us down because we threaten their way of life. In the case of incel men, we are threatening their choice to be lazy and depraved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 10:53 PM
8

Also, it makes me smile to realize I’m not the only woman who finally decided to join read it because...FDS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 10:51 PM
8

Yeah, let me be the one who made the mistake for both of us. I was unemployed for the last three months and you know in isolation from the pandemic, so I needed some sort of interaction and thought that that would help. I started work this week so yeah I think I’m good without that shit!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 10:50 PM
4

Yeah... instead I’m going to seek out a man who considers cleaning, cooking, running errands for me, etc. are the BENEFITS OF DATING ME. Why the heck are you cleaning up after another adult, outside of maybe specific situations like illness or injury?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 10:48 PM
13

I’m so glad she asked this because I knew I would need some guidance after the pandemic ends. Especially the question about when you give someone dedicated time. It makes a lot of sense that you want a guy to work on making plans with you each week rather than holding a day for him without any effort on his part to express his desire to see you and make plans.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 10:46 PM
2

Peace is everything!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 10:44 PM
4

I literally don’t know any women over the age of 18 who haven’t experienced at least one of those. I’m not in the business of having a ton of conversations with children, but I’m pretty sure that age could be set a lot lower.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 10:40 PM
6

Thank you for the recommendation!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 10:38 PM
17

Girrrrrl, missionary is classic for a reason. I feel like if any guy ever referred to me as prude or vanilla, I would see it as a red flag. There’s no high-value man who would want to pressure me or shame me for my sexuality!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 10:37 PM
22

And you just have to wonder why he was dating a woman who may have sat so far outside of his sexual preferences. Like, I’ve definitely dated a few guys that strayed from what I thought I liked, but I came to be so ridiculously attracted to those guys due to FEELINGS that my preferences for all guys changed to include that. This guy was dating you and still wanted a completely different type of look. Does anybody know if men are equipped with a different set of feelings than us? They are wildly e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 10:34 PM
27

I just want to stop in and say your vagina is tight and spectacular and a gift from the universe/heavens. I’m so glad you didn’t get the surgery. Somewhere on reddit, I saw stories about how it ruined those women’s sense of pleasure. Don’t get me started on labioplasty and the horrifying stories about doctors who remove clit-adjacent parts because they don’t know the difference between our pleasure centers and our labia minora. 💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 10:32 PM
19

Yeah, I can’t believe how many message request I’m getting like this - unsolicited incel input. I don’t really understand why they’re providing a manifesto that’s clearly incompatible with my views. They also tend to follow me a lot? I honestly think it’s a strategy to get a woman’s attention. FDS has taught me that men are much smarter than we thought they were. Block, delete, no thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 10:28 PM
8

I almost feel like this might be the only safe place for women on reddit...and sometimes in life in general.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 10:25 PM
5

It speaks volumes to how impactful this way of thinking is - they can’t be lazy if we make them put in effort to sleep with us, spend time with us, etc. They perceive that type of threat to their laziness at the level of the threat we experience every day in our lives as women. 😂🤷🏻‍♀️😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 10:23 PM
4

Ohhhhhhh haha it’s because this way of thinking is a real threat to the laziness and depravity of a lot of men. HOW DARE WE MAKE MEN WORK FOR OUR TIME, ENERGY, AND SEXUALITY? We have no right! /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 10:22 PM
10

Thank you for the validation. Whenever I come across guys with that line of thinking and they’re all I don’t have a chance because I’m not a 10, I so badly want to interrupt their brains by asking them if the incel sub Reddits that they subscribe to and that line of thinking has done anything to serve their life. Whenever I see anything from those types of men, they seem really miserable, lonely, desperate, and living in fear. On the other hand, FDS has changed my life for the better. And while …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 09:30 PM
10

My question exactly. Do you think I should try to reach out to a moderator just to get clarification that I can publicly shame them with here? I fucking love men and I can’t wait to finally be with one who gives even half as much as I have given to every man in my life! (You know what i mean...I can actually wait as long as forever if it means I can now be stable and at peace!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 09:20 PM
6

The sub is called 2X? Are you recommending I go make waves there?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 09:19 PM
12

I literally only made a Reddit account for FDS so maybe I won’t even bother anymore with misogynist subs like that, especially after the queens in earlier comments clarified that they are labeling this sub as a hate sub. The only other communities I’m somewhat active in now are the curly hair communities, and I kind of hope that when I uplift a woman there that she will stalk my posts and join us. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 09:18 PM
6

I already thought that I was reframing a lot of my language outside of the sub and even in the ask FDS sub, because I know that not everyone understands the terms, but it completely went over my head that even describing someone’s value might be misleading to someone who doesn’t know how we use it here. I’m enlightened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 09:15 PM
7

Yes, and remind them to just keep being “themselves” and eventually things will work out...even though the OP moved in with the guy a month into the relationship IN A PANDEMIC and was begging for him to say he loved her back at 6 months. I’m sorry, lady, things are not going to work out for you if you keep making the same choices and deluding yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 09:14 PM
14

You are both right. Omgosh. I was considering remaining a lurker but I see now that I can’t support that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 09:12 PM
24

Honestly, I kind of wish that there was some sort of demarcation on reddit so I could only be part of subs that are women-run. Needless to say, I won’t be contributing in that sub anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 09:11 PM
30

Oh, that makes sense. What we really mean is that their BEHAVIOR and CHOICES are high value just as we use the term for women, too. In my understanding, people aren’t inherently assigned a value at birth and a LVW OR LVM can easily gain value through FDS principles. Is that correct? This as compared to the incel insistence on assigning a value out of 10 to looks despite the fact that attraction is highly predicated on preferences and life experience. THAT is hateful to all genders to think you j…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 09:10 PM
9

That’s fascinating! I’m still super new to reddit and I actually followed a few subs one night out of boredom, but only really look at FDS and curly girl subs. I saw this post on my home and confused it for /askFDS so I just responded as I would there. When I realized my mistake, I re-read it and agreed with every word. Crazy!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 09:07 PM
16

Right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 09:05 PM
192

And often setting expectations about how girls should behave that contradict each other and make it impossible to ever be right, good, and worthwhile. And we are offered crumbs for all our efforts while they are highly rewarded for...being men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 08:11 PM
3

I don’t know how to link the post but the title is “looking for shared experience - breaking off a situationship”. How do FDSers feel about loving someone you only know 6 months?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 08:05 PM
2

How many men are like this in real life? I only got on reddit for FDS...and I’m shocked how often I see this thinking on reddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 07:59 PM
3

Okay yeah I love her. 👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 07:44 PM
34

The good news is that the more that they do it publicly, the more evidence we can share here to help more and more women become aware!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 07:42 PM
9

Spot on. As women, we are expected to take on more because we can, we’re good at it, we like it, etc. now that I have FDS, I’m suspicious of the idea that men believe they should be running the country (USA) and don’t trust women to be in positions of power at every level of the government and private sector, yet when it comes to different types of interpersonal relationships, they believe that we should be the boss. There’s a huge disconnect here and I’m calling BS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 07:40 PM
19

The efforts men are willing to make to avoid making real efforts astounds me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:51 PM
2

I agree. They aren’t my current circumstances fortunately but like I said in my earlier comment, I just have so many friends in the stripping and cam girl world, and my gut tells me that no matter how much they enjoy it, something isn’t right. It wasn’t until I found FDS that I learned about the porn sickness of men, And now that I know that it exists, I can see it play out in the lives of men in my life in different ways. I am pretty sure that even the women in my life who claim to enjoy doing …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:09 PM
0

Well, I wouldn’t say that I am privileged and that it’s theoretical to me, in that sense as I have engaged in sex work and a lot of the people in my life engage in sex work, but I absolutely have privilege over many women and children in the overall industry for other reasons such as being born in America.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 04:58 PM
51

This is just another example for me Of situations in which men claim to be stupid when they actually just don’t want to put any effort in. They would rather gaslight us than stop being lazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 04:41 PM
3

Omg thank you!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 04:29 PM
0

Totally. My senses tell me to dig deeper into this subject and educate myself on it. I’ll dig through your posts and that website. I appreciate it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 04:21 PM
0

How does that differ from other entertainment industries though? Not all sex related work has dissolved boundaries. Those who sell on onlyfans or strip in a respectful club have great experiences (according to them). I perform in non-sex work and I’m a product and my opinion doesn’t matter because that’s what performance art is. I just don’t understand how all sex work = no human rights. I don’t support the industry at all, and I think it’s problematic. I just don’t agree that “being a product” …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 03:42 PM
2

The entitlement audacity is way way too high.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 03:37 PM
1

Articulated extremely well. This is what we are dealing with. MALE LURKERS, read that again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 03:36 PM
2

Hopefully most of us learn to pick ourselves and take out the trash. 💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 03:35 PM
3

And even if it’s just “dating life”, they mean SEXUAL OPTIONS. You know, the ones in which we could sleep with a man who does not even live up to normal adult standards and then that man will fail to pleasure us sexually and treat us like they treat themselves (like shit). They can’t stand the idea that a woman has the agency to choose the same way a man would choose. We are objects to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 03:34 PM
6

OMG I was thinking this as I went to bed last night. They act like they don’t have the same options we have. They don’t want them but they expect us to. Most of us question our sexuality due to these decrepit options we have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 03:27 PM
3

I agree wholeheartedly. It’s one of many efforts guys are unwilling to make. The redpillers refuse to put effort into any number of things women describe as valuable (cleanliness, ambition, exercise and healthy eating, dedication, reflection, accountability, ANY self-improvement that’s real and lasting). Instead, they blame our “nature” and then try to meet standards hardly any women have...and again blame us when we still don’t pick them. ALL THE ANSWERS ARE HERE. We don’t hide our wants and ne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 03:23 PM
6

NAIL ON THE HEAD, queen. They live for our acceptance...but only for sex. They define an entire system and community around how to bang us and how awful we are if we have lots of choices to bang guys we’d never want to bang. They hate when we are pathetic pickme’s but don’t reflect on their own delusional pickme lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 03:19 PM
5

Yeah, totally. Women get unlimited lives, right? /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 03:16 PM
7

Yeah, those things he has to offer are bare minimum. Stop putting men on pedestals because you can’t see your own worth!
/r/askFDS05/12/20 06:26 AM
8

One of these “males”. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:55 AM
10

They do this weird ass comparison that proves they don’t listen or understand women AT ALL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:48 AM
5

Exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:47 AM
25

It’s funny how their version of FDS is “let’s only put effort into fooling women into sleeping with us” when we do clearly spell out here what they could do instead - you know, the basic things all adults should do like clean their bodies and homes, cook actual food, maintain employment, develop meaningful friendships and support, heal childhood wounds, etc. “BUT THATS HAAARD” — almost every guy I’ve known Okay, so you agree, women do hard shit day after day and you choose the easy life?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:30 AM
26

It’s the truth of truths. They are so entitled to their laziness that they assert themselves as victims to the idea they would have to try. I would love for him to respond to whoever actually allows the chat (I won’t) and ask him what efforts he’s made that make him deserving of ANY woman, let alone one he thinks is attractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:27 AM
41

YUP. My ex even told me it took only minor efforts to stand out, that it wasn’t that hard to do the things that impressed me or made me feel cared for, and that women were pretty easy and fun to please. I should have said, “what kind of relationship would I get if you actually put in real effort that felt challenging to you?” but that’s a story for another day. Point is, FDS is full of women stumbling here after feeling beyond heartbroken and lonely. I don’t know why reddit trolls think women ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:24 AM
48

Or fearing for our lives and the safety of our bodies because enough men abuse and assault women to where just about every woman I know has been abused or assaulted by a man?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 04:39 AM
58

And all the money, time and energy we spend to make ourselves fit the mold of attractive and acceptable to society even though it’s impossible to do both simultaneously while they can’t even throw out the trash by their gaming system?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 04:38 AM
43

You want a guy who’s imaginative enough to impress you at the level you can impress him. That’s all I can say. Stop worrying and hold out till you get at least that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 04:04 AM
2

Everyone has already said what matters here. I just want to add that as someone with debilitating health issues, I only learned this year how dangerous to my health peace disrupters are. I hope you ended it.
/r/askFDS05/12/20 03:57 AM
8

There’s nothing hotter than a guy saying, “I really want to kiss you. Can I?”
/r/askFDS05/12/20 03:38 AM
2

Yup. Came here to recommend reading my post (she linked) and the fire comment about how this isn’t my job. Now I fantasize about a guy who goes out of his way to spoil me without me managing it/begging for it/nagging for it.
/r/askFDS05/12/20 03:36 AM
2

Sometimes a backslide motivates several steps forward. Be kind to yourself and celebrate that you’re now ready to level up. 💛
/r/askFDS05/12/20 03:34 AM
5

There is literally no guy out of your league. That’s just not a thing. You are a prize, a queen, royal hot shit. Most guys would say yes to banging you, AT THE LEAST. You might want to back up from dating until you stabilize your mindset. Going into a relationship with the mindset that your value is LESS than it actually is will result in you getting way less than you want, need and deserve.
/r/askFDS05/12/20 03:05 AM
15

If you want to pull more than your own weight the entire relationship, lose your self-respect, and eventually get dumped after giving him everything — sure! /s Why did you say of course you’ll see him again? No matter what? Absolutely? If he invited you to go into the woods with him for date 2? Said date 2 is when he likes to bust out his luggage of sex toys? Suggests a “porn and chill” date in his filthy room he never cleans? Girl, you’ve got standards somewhere in there. They need to be strong…
/r/askFDS05/12/20 03:00 AM
24

I just have two sidebars: Men decide they should be in charge despite a depravity and “nature” they just cannot be expected to control [ANY TIME OF THE MONTH]. Men create an industry that purposefully exploits women, unintentionally exploits men, creates twisted standards of normal that have cascading effects on their self esteem, and desensitize them so successfully that they lose their ability to get erect, orgasm, or prevent premature orgasm, which further devastates their self esteem. I used…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 02:30 AM
48

Sounds so lovely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 02:07 AM
30

And you KNOW this is not the “rare thing he’s asked of her” because the layers within layers of misogyny in that DEMAND of his don’t just pop up “on occasion”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 01:35 AM
15

It’s not the only creepy but catchy song of his. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 05:27 AM
4

I’m sorry, girl. You are so desperate for this guy who’s done nothing specifically for you, made no real efforts to prove worth your company, sleeps with you and expects to provide nothing else consistently, and who has obviously rejected you in a lot of “little” ways. Do you like that? Do you want to be rejected and hurt and always trying to earn his affections? Do you think you deserve this because you’re not good enough to be chosen out right? You can feel your feelings but still dip out of t…
/r/askFDS04/12/20 05:25 AM
3

Exactly. It’s time to start trusting yourself.
/r/askFDS04/12/20 05:15 AM
5

Have you dived into the experiences from your much younger childhood that taught you to reject yourself? Go deeper. Somethings happened that you interpreted as abuse/neglect/abandonment/rejection when young, and you built behaviors to manage it such as rejecting yourself and identifying yourself as ugly (you could very well have learned to identify as smart, ambitious, talented, loving, kind, or whatnot, but you learned to identify as ugly - why?). Also, the “trauma” can be real or not, big or s…
/r/askFDS04/12/20 05:14 AM
1

Thirding the sentiment. Most of us only found FDS after years or decades of being pick me in the most mortifying ways. Yeah, it sucks to see how you’ve been undignified. The question is, are you ready to gain your power, self-esteem, and sense of value? If so, start digging into the FDS sub and materials. You can change this.
/r/askFDS04/12/20 05:04 AM
2

The only thing HSV changes is your ability to have anonymous sex without having to talk. I had and now don’t have (? Viruses are fascinating!) HSV2. The guy I thought was the love of my life gave it to me (and I consented). I never had outbreaks and wasn’t even sure WHERE I was infected. Now, like 15 years later, we have more understanding of HSV2. I now believe I developed antibodies (since that’s my only positive test) and never actually had the virus. I’ve disclosed to every sexual partner si…
/r/askFDS04/12/20 05:00 AM
1

Here’s my truth: My ex left me 6 months ago and my heart still breaks every day. I’m overwhelmingly sad more often than I want to be. I cry at songs or cry in bed or cry in the shower, and when I cry I feel exactly as sad as I feel the night he told me it was over. I cry about not being with him anymore, about his qualities I adored, moments we shared. I cry about good stuff, but I also cry about stuff I was pick me fucking naive about. I cry about wanting him back so bad, and I cry about knowin…
/r/askFDS04/12/20 04:23 AM
30

I love the music and he’s physically attractive, but his overly “sensitive”, victim-y, obsessive (but to new women even across one album) behavior turns me off so bad. I’ve always had the impression he was a bit immature. You summed it up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:48 AM
30

I don’t have a problem with LVM outing themselves, but I do have a problem with their low effort. It’s an embarrassment to our species. How will we explain this to extra terrestrial beings?! They gonna’ think humans are stupid, useless and worth enslaving! Sort of joking...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:46 AM
10

LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:44 AM
39

Right? (To both your points) Also — seeing all the tiktok and Instagram and meme content mirroring our FDS sentiments. Ideas worth spreading... 😂🤭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:44 AM
1

Welcome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:43 AM
4

1,000,000 percent!!!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:38 AM
2

...she says, as she exhaled fierceness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:10 AM
10

I’m horrified. I’m so glad you are here!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:10 AM
2

Paying it forward! My entire brain is being rewired. It’s okay to not feel as empowered or grounded or secure yet, and choose to do things you know you should be better than. I still fantasize and obsess about my ex...every day. I’m not where I know I can grow to, but I’m so much further along because of FDS. I come here and engage with so many royal women and strengthen those connections in my brain because I’m tired of chasing, trying to prove myself, trying to earn love, and always coming up …
/r/askFDS04/12/20 03:08 AM
4

How about “fuck with myself” for an anthem?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:00 AM
1

Love Banks so so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:00 AM
2

Yeah, I don’t really judge on reddit but irl, I laugh hard when people think they are in love or so happy or make big plans for the future that early. I’m like, you don’t know that person and they don’t know you! But only in my head because I’m practicing letting others live their lives and refocusing that energy on myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 02:58 AM
3

That the way I looked at him sometimes like the whole world stopped was despicable. Oh, I’m so sorry I adore you. Fuck. This is a long ago ex but one of many who constantly told me I could do better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 02:54 AM
2

Yay! I even apply FDS principles to friendship. I’m glad it’s applicable outside the hetero-sphere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 02:47 AM
15

Become the most entertaining version of yourself so you’re not seeking it in a man. If you aren’t focused on your goals, you need more space with yourself to clear whatever keeps you blocked. DO YOU.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 02:43 AM
13

Wow, he and the other subreddit gaslit the fuck out of you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 02:34 AM
8

Yeah. It wasn’t until this year that I realized someone else’s space matters to me even if I don’t or won’t ever live with them, that I deserve better and would now feel humiliated to be in a house like that. FDS helps me see that these intuitions are accurate: a trashed house (see my ex) reflects so much more than a trashed house. I see this charming, loving attractive man and ignore the fact that his ability to put effort into me is stunted by his ability to put effort into his own life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 02:31 AM
1

They know. That’s what wakes me up the hardest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 02:22 AM
1

This is the sense you need right here! If you’re afraid to be lonely and can’t figure out how to be grounded and care for your emotions, you’ll always be desperate and settle just to not be lonely. AND I GET IT. I’ve been single just about 6 months now, and I’m finally starting to navigate my loneliness. There’s so much work to do before you can even date again, and you know it. If you’re like me, you don’t WANT TO. It’s HARD. I want to skip ahead to the end. But it’s so so so important to inten…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 02:20 AM
84

I WANT TO BE THE STAR. Bring my supporting cast of men, please.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 02:14 AM
4

BAHAHA
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 02:12 AM
216

I just want to switch this up because being alone isn’t worse than indentured servitude. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 02:12 AM
2

Yeah, I’m mortified but also holding space for the girl who didn’t know HOW to know better. I knew stuff wasn’t right and I was feeling anxious af and all. I did. Let’s be honest, we both did. But I had no idea what was beyond how I felt. On the other side of this rainbow is intense self-love, self-care, and self-infatuation. Confidence. Awareness. I feel grounded. I anticipate a future in which I select partners who have proven themselves to be someone who brings value in to my life. My ex left…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 01:59 AM
4

Yeah, queen, you need support and love from yourself and other women to remind you not to seek it out in a man or man-child! Something to ask yourself: if you’re hoping he’s “always liked you too but it was never a good time”, what would he do if you were both single? Either he would be a man of high enough value to deserve you or he won’t. A HVM would find a way to tell you his feelings and build something worthwhile. A HVM would hold off, keep in touch to build trust and intimacy, and tell you…
/r/askFDS04/12/20 01:51 AM
2

And they just want to “overcome the challenge”, e.g. weaken us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 09:55 PM
5

Yeah...our energy has way better avenues than fixing men. I cannot believe how much they play “childish”. Then they blame us for acting like their mothers or treating them like children. I often said to that ex, “then stop acting like a child”. My manipulated ass was taken down with his low effort ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:39 PM
5

Yeah, I don’t even think she’s bad here. Anytime we don’t make it easy for men, we are “bad” in some way (bitches, rude, etc.).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:37 PM
4

It’s honestly so painfully refreshing to learn that men aren’t dumb at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:34 PM
3

TRUE 💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:33 PM
3

EXACTLY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:33 PM
3

Then why not just tell him later, after you’re separated? It will give him a chance to either make some sort of effort to see you again or not. Men have done all sorts of dramatic shit for women they love. Take control of your life and strategize how to make this information work for you. Ultimately, if he likes you, he will find a way to tell and show you...so I disagree about telling him, but I want to be supportive to you either way.
/r/askFDS03/12/20 02:32 PM
1

Yeah, I didn’t auto recognize the term! Thank you all!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:30 PM
16

What’s a terper?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 05:21 AM
177

Also I love how men use rating systems and degrading nicknames all day long but the second we do something similar, we are THE WORST EVER.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 05:16 AM
7

What do you hope to gain out of telling him?
/r/askFDS03/12/20 03:46 AM
0

It’s a fair question. I hope she digs deeper.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 03:34 AM
26

Your words reflect such clarity. re: goes ahead to show me he doesn’t really deserve me. I truly believe my ex was attempting to sabotage the relationship over and over while peeking over at me to watch how I responded. Until FDS, I didn’t realize how intentional and obvious it was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 03:27 AM
41

I aspire to this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 03:25 AM
21

My ex said something similar whenever I praised him for doing the bare minimum. I was princess pickmeisha declaring it was special to do the bare minimum because it’s so rare in the male population.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 03:25 AM
13

This. Cute. Comment. 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 03:22 AM
14

Exactly. She was 🔥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 03:10 AM
34

Wow. Thanks for sharing. I relate to her and this a lot. One of my pick me traits was positioning myself as the only person who understands them and can help them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 03:09 AM
63

I spent 5 years begging one of my exes to fix his rotted teeth, work on his mental health, make friends outside of me, and go after what he deserves. He’s now a way upgraded version of himself with another woman. This isn’t a hard feeling sort of situation; I left him. I just want to express that I wasted 5 years on a project I’m not even enjoying now. I have better things to do with my life than fix a man. If a man who fixes himself wants to date, I’m single. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 03:06 AM
12

Whoa. That’s some fucking proof of FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:58 AM
11

So well said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:56 AM
10

The new generations are gonna’ be so interesting to study later because of tech.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:54 AM
6

👏💪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:51 AM
19

YUP. Lying is easier than changing your thoughts and behavior. Low effort is low effort. The more effort you wait it out for, the more committed that guy now is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:49 AM
5

Ooooo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:48 AM
34

I was going to comment as a non-vegan as well about the general treatment I receive from most men about my restrictive diet. I have an autoimmune disease, and straying from my diet might mean I can’t walk for 3 weeks. My ex wasn’t a terrible human at all, but he would often ask me what I “missed most”, despite me explaining how I don’t miss being constantly sick and it doesn’t make ice cream look the same anymore. He didn’t know how to see me subjectively, outside himself and his own feelings. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:47 AM
4

How can I clarify my message here? It’s about the fact that the world is as much your oyster later as it is now. Our value does not diminish as we age. We are royal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 05:23 AM
1

This is 🔥.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 03:20 AM
2

I relate to not worrying about my responsiveness or attitude! I just do me and remind myself that the more difficult I am, the more I get to watch them prove themselves worthy or not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 03:19 AM
48

Am I the only one who’s excited to be radicalized? I’m going to consider this an achievement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 03:05 AM
2

Thank you to the queens who crowned me with my first ever reddit awards!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:56 AM
1

What life do you not want? To find love in your 50s?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:53 AM
2

Hahaha gotta’ be true!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:50 AM
7

Yes! I date younger guys now and they get a trip out of dating an older woman. They pride themselves on it. Im not even “old”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:50 AM
3

You know...she’s a pretty cool chic. She’s a subpar mom, but she’s got her own truckload of trauma and hurt to explain that. She has reinvented herself over and over in every area of her life. She’s not afraid to start over or be alone. She has a sense of entitlement she expresses with such passion that people can’t help but follow her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:48 AM
3

Yessss! It’s never toooo late! Ever! There’s a thread going somewhere above about meeting someone and statistics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:20 AM
1

HAHAHA. She’s such a trip!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:19 AM
3

Good! I’ve also had quite a life, maybe I’ll make a post about mine later too. She’s seriously so aware that a new human will come around if she walks away from someone, so aware she can develop on a project and be successful. She inspires me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:18 AM
2

Yeah, she can be very much that!! She’s also deep and serious and analytical so she’s kind of a package! Haha. She would crack up seeing these comments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:14 AM
2

You’re welcome! I’m 37 so cheers to mid-30s! I don’t want to create children but I’m so glad you’re learning it’s not too late! I know SO MANT IRL people who’ve had kids in their 40s!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:13 AM
6

As much as men can be focused on looks, I do believe they see more shape and overall energy. If you’re awesome af at any age, people SEE that over your objective looks. I even feel this way about characters in a show. Maybe a look I wouldn’t think twice about but then a character is so cool or badass, that I start thinking wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:11 AM
10

100% agree. My mom isn’t exceptional looking for the area she normally resides. She’s hot, because she’s so deeply alive and sexual and kind of always a bit of a teenager while holding her own as an adult. Her choice of location plays a role for sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:08 AM
2

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:05 AM
2

Now I wanna hear your story! I’m in my 30s and feeling similar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:04 AM
6

Exactly! People in unhappy relationships love to convince others how happy they are and trying to get company for their misery!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:03 AM
1

Then my post was for you, queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:02 AM
21

I think men truly believe life gets worse as they age (guys have life crises in their early 20s and some never stop being lost, flailing body bags) so they applied to the same logic to women. We thrive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:01 AM
3

You know...she’s a pretty cool chic. She’s a subpar mom, but she’s got her own truckload of trauma and hurt to explain that. She has reinvented herself over and over in every area of her life. She’s not afraid to start over or be alone. She has a sense of entitlement she expresses with such passion that people can’t help but follow her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 01:58 AM
15

Yes to both of you! My mom’s boyfriend was even telling me he wasn’t always a good guy because when he was young, all he thought about was sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 01:54 AM
1

Yassss! I tend to choose emotionally avoidant/stunted partners who elicit those same roller coaster highs and lows. But I’m DONE! I want peace!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 11:26 PM
19

Because we focused ourselves on thinking we could change them, that we are “special” and they’ll love us one day instead (I actually lived out this success twice and neither were happy endings—but sure, I’m special). Instead of: Focusing on how we are so fucking special and royal that our energy shouldn’t be spent convincing someone of these facts, but by dominating our lands and declining most suitors. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 04:17 AM
8

💛 right? 💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 03:58 AM
40

Ugh, I feel myself too much in this story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 03:23 AM
16

Facts!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 03:22 AM
13

💪👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 03:21 AM
24

I AM SO GLAD YOU DIDN’T REMOVE IT! I knew exactly what you meant and then loved the new nickname for pickme’s! Let’s spread the word.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 03:17 AM
24

Saddest but best story ending ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 03:14 AM
22

And yes, I agree with you. Even one friend I have now who has a seemingly great boyfriend told me (upon my asking) that they don’t really have sex much. They’re both hot af, and have only been together 1.5-2 years. I am terrified to be in a sexless or sex-minimal relationship (again).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 03:13 AM
47

“Supposedly traumatized by their girlfriend from high school” creates such a tactile response in me. My last boyfriend - his college ex. The one before that - his after-high school ex. Many in the past - some ex-girlfriend who’s long gone but is ever-present in his memory as the reason he can never love again. “...oh, but I can save him.” — eye roll at my past self
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 03:11 AM
62

I love this. I feel like I needed to dismantle the idea of “pretty and valuable” or “ugly and not valuable” because they went hand in hand. Now it’s, I don’t care if I look pretty bc I’m valuable but cool if my hair/outfit/eyebrows are on point right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 02:24 AM
90

YES. YES. YES. Thank you. I love seeing examples that prove our mission!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 02:22 AM
20

She has some great reels on trauma bonds, childhood wounds, etc. for those new to the concept but wondering if you’ll ever be into a HVM. I needed to understand the chemical addictions and finally decide I want peace. Another great one: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CHeEIZwBWq_/?igshid=ot52ox9s352o
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 02:16 AM
2

Oh gross! I literally just started a reddit to be a part of FDS. Down the rabbit hole I go...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 02:11 AM
3

100% is the dream/goal/my fucking future!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 02:10 AM
7

They want everything they want as their whims guide them and only want to give what is easy to give. It’s disappointing but also eye opening. I might be “alone” longer because I’m auto-dismissing these obvious signs but I’m in for a real treat when someone can prove it’s not “all men”. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 04:37 PM
14

You’re totally correct and I’m definitely not considering being friends now so maybe I shouldn’t call myself pathetic. Recovering pathetic, lol? The post made me think a bit about whether I should indefinitely cut him out or if there’s a time when it’s strategically acceptable. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 04:35 PM
10

Yes! I’ve also seen, “if you’re down to [eat my favorite foods / frequent my favorite restaurants]”. Like, that’s all you’re looking for in a partner?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 04:01 PM
3

Thank you for articulating this! It’s one of those nuggets of FDS wisdom that seems so obvious now but wasn’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 03:55 PM
17

Exactly! Now when I see dating profiles with 6 pictures all in hats, I’m like “okay, you’re bald, you could have just said that in one picture.” 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 03:42 PM
26

Question: if the man was your good friend prior to dating, and he’s a HVM, what circumstances and timing would occur to make it okay to be friends again? Asking for my pathetic self.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 03:38 PM
24

The focus is always on how we fail as women, even when it’s someone else’s behavior. This “logic” is never applied to anything but oppressed classes. And then (white) men are involved in exponentially damaging white collar crimes and get a slap on the wrist...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 03:37 PM
12

I’ve had the same experience with kik!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 03:33 PM
11

100%. Pretty sure I plugged up my ears and put blinders on and argued to their face that they were better than that. They ain’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 04:20 AM
3

Thank you so much 💛💛💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 06:12 PM
20

I agree with all the comments but I feel this way whenever I catch crush-feels for a guy. Mine doesn’t happen after two dates with a stranger but it gets so bad that I can’t sleep, eat, think straight. I’m 37. Ive been learning a lot about trauma bonding and the chemical highs that come from repeating stories from my childhood. Just wanted to leave this here for anyone struggling this way too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 06:10 PM
12

This is one of the most loving supportive women-only groups I’ve been in. I seriously cannot be more grateful!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 06:05 PM
15

If you forgot you’re a royal af queen, we are here to remind you. You can date anyone, fuck anyone, do anything with your super valuable time. You have a ton to offer to a partner. Have you made a list of all the ways you’ve benefited exes and friends? Look at that list. Look at it. Men are lining up for a chance and you want to pay one to be with you? Come on now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 06:04 PM
7

I agree about the microaggressions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 06:02 PM
29

This is succinct af. I love it. Don’t subsidize. Don’t date guys who can’t afford to take you out because that means they don’t have their shit together or have fucked priorities and that will hurt you in other ways later anyway. It’s a flag they simply aren’t good enough if they blink at a $100 bucks over the course of a few dates. Who’s gonna pay for the Airbnb when y’all travel? What kind of gifts will he buy you? Will you spend your entire relationship hanging inside watching him play video …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 06:00 PM
78

Wow. Every where we turn, men tell on themselves. He may not say this outright but his behavior would be clear if a woman was listening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 05:53 PM
5

Thank you SO MUCH for this response. I agree it’s not my job, but it absolutely helps me feel hopeful and aware of what I can have and expect! I was new and couldn’t comment back so I’m sorry for the delay!
/r/askFDS29/11/20 05:49 PM
1

Subscribing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 03:42 AM
35

I truly believe in this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 03:29 AM
24

Wow, ...wow. 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 03:28 AM
8

Can we mass-produce them? Let’s put our hive mind to the test.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 02:37 AM
22

I grapple with chronic illness, chronic pain, and lack of mobility. Due to the vast amount of limitations and pain in my life, I often wonder this too. I DON’T wonder if I am a HVW. I am. You are. Even if we’re in the “becoming” stage, new to FDS, we already are. We are simply learning the how, why, and what of our inherent valuable identities. I’ve been trying to imagine how I would want a man to fit in my life. What would he say, do, etc. that would support my healing, foster my desire to focu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 02:31 AM
44

I wanna be in this mental place so badly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 02:22 AM
24

Welcome, queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 10:23 PM
43

Exactly, while I don’t condone a partner not communicating their particular preferences to their partner, there’s literally an endless supply of information on the Internet. Even back when I was 17, it was the first time I ever received great oral, and the guy actually admitted to doing a bunch of research to learn how to do it well. This was 20 Years ago, so I imagine that it’s even easier to find like YouTube tutorials on this now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 05:52 PM
5

I came here to say your post has me in tears. Just...same, girl, same. I see from the comments, we’re not the only ones. I can’t wait to be over him.
/r/askFDS27/11/20 12:06 AM
2

Thanks for this comment. My own heartbreak seems like an endless supply of tears. Thinking about it having a specific end feels hopeful, even though I have a lot of time left to go.
/r/askFDS27/11/20 12:04 AM
5

LOLOLOL. True. Mine too. The most loving and committed man I’ve ever known, 14 years going strong!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 12:01 AM
10

Oooo thank you!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 09:26 PM
23

The fact that I believed they were my whole life... ugh! 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 09:23 PM
2

I love penetrative sex and don’t “need” oral, but I still can’t imagine wanting to have a sexual relationship with a man who isn’t totally into this. I love sex, and I want to have sex with someone who truly loves it too. Pretty sure these guys who are grossed out by pussy are dealing with misogyny, same as the women who don’t look at their own body parts, don’t want to touch them, and are okay with a guy who doesn’t want to eat it. Like, you’re telling me guys can’t shower, brush their teeth, c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 06:59 PM
12

This is exactly how my ex sees me, no doubt. I only have myself to blame for my lack of love for myself. He showed me he was a LVM and I fought for him to love me anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 06:06 PM
9

I read a lot of literotica and am often vomiting at the writing bc it’s obviously men. Any suggestions for better?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 05:45 PM
10

Ughhh. Someone needs to write a whole post about how to fight for your pleasure with oral and harness the power of the beautiful puss. Men should bow down in awe and beg to eat it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 05:15 PM
4

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 05:14 PM
47

Oh wow, that’s eye-opening logic. I’m beginning to wonder if any man has ever seen me as a subject.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 05:12 PM
66

I think I no longer trust men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 01:37 AM
65

YUP. Doesn’t mean he’s effective at it or even truthful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 01:37 AM
1

Subscribing now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 07:03 PM
28

LOL. So relatable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 05:56 PM
3

Omgosh that’s the BEST story. 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 02:13 AM
5

Where did you get your username? It’s hilarious and awesome. I like actual clowning (not the way we use it in FDS.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 12:51 AM
4

THANK YOU! Yes! I’m so used to being love bombed in other ways, I didn’t even think about how it could be done with gifts. That’s very funny too because one of my top languages is gifts so some thing like huge efforts and high dollar amounts would have manipulated the eff outta’ me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 12:51 AM
19

As an HR professional, I’m dying of laughter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 12:39 AM
24

I don’t know why, but this effort so early on doesn’t sit right with me. Hopefully someone helps me understand one way or the other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 12:16 AM
5

SAME. I’m stuck in a 28-30 attraction range and it’s annoying bc they are still so immature at that age but then when do they ever grow up?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 03:39 AM
11

We treat the attractive ones differently, ughh!! You are SO RIGHT. I’m just about 37 and guys 31 and up on OLD mine as well be 40-50. Meanwhile, I look 25 at most.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 02:21 AM
5

It’s my perfect shame song. I don’t wanna forget what I allowed with my ex. 😂💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 02:19 AM
12

I would LOVE to know what you found attractive in a guy that age. It gives me the heeby jeebies! I’m glad you decided to run!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 02:16 AM
24

I love this song, especially the “did you give into his ego, just to give a little confidence?” I wanna smack my forehead every time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 02:13 AM
25

She has the most fascinating story! I will implement this shit test since most guys have seen GoT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 01:21 AM
33

Also, abuse aside, I’m guessing we are all coming to FDS with shame for what we put up with and our old (or current) pick me ways. The only way to liberate yourself from shame is to name it, own it, and speak it.
/r/askFDS23/11/20 08:20 PM
56

The best perspective I ever got was not to shame yourself for how long you stayed, but to thank yourself for leaving. There’s a reason you weren’t ready or able to leave until you did. But you did. Some women never get out. But you did. Some women don’t survive. But you did.
/r/askFDS23/11/20 08:18 PM
12

Ooo I might do one of these. Great idea!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 02:19 AM
2

By my comment, I mean more so realizing that my youth had value. I hated myself, I hated my looks, I hated all the ways I thought I didn’t measure up. But men didn’t see that, I just catered to that self-hatred so much that it ran my life. I would go back and walk around like I was the most powerful human. Which is what I’m doing now. Bc it’s never too late to realize you’re fucking incredible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 02:13 AM
24

Just came to say I abandoned the fuck out of myself in my last relationship and my heart is also shattered. So grateful to have this group of women and their infinite wisdom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 05:09 PM
10

Ughhh. Notice? I can’t get away from it. It’s similar to a guy getting a paper cut or stubbing his toe and crying to the heavens, while I deal with massively painful chronic pain with a smile. You need a break after one chore? Dude, I’m in constant pain yet I’ve already done 5 chores in the same amount of time as you did 1. They are sooooo lazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 05:08 PM
5

This. It took months for me to settle into it and benefit from it...so know that there might be anxiety and resistance until your light bulb goes off. Now I can’t imagine wasting my free time on something that isn’t as peaceful as being with myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 05:04 PM
25

Thanks for the compliment, dude! I’m valuable and value isn’t easy to lock down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 04:51 PM
18

Omg, I’m dying of laughter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 04:48 PM
35

Omg me too about 5. And in fact, I don’t need to be as kind, generous, thoughtful, understanding and available as I was because guys don’t even really care about that. They care only about the feelings they feel. Women can treat men like shit but if they got the idea that woman was “perfect”, he’ll continue to want her and chase her. Not saying treat them badly, but maybe don’t bother trying to be seen as “good”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 04:47 PM
44

I love all the points already made! I’ll add a few: It’s never over unless someone dies. If a guy breaks your heart and says he’ll never talk to you again - it’s untrue. They always come back and they’re always available to you in some way. Eventually you realize you’ve grown out of them but this helps during those crying desperation stages. Your standards grow as you age and want better for yourself. Any guy you thought was great in your 20s is a guy you wouldn’t blink at later. Also, all my cr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 04:44 PM
10

At almost 37, I agree about all of these aging changes. I would love to go back to my 20s and realize that my body is still rockin’ even though it wasn’t the standard I had set for myself. I wish I seized my youth! But no matter what, it’s never too late, and even though I’m coming up to 40, I feel sexier and more beautiful than I ever did. I promise you are worth the world!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 04:39 PM
11

Seriously - “no amount of love doting” or any efforts I make can change how a guy feels about me. It’s similar to how being a bitch, cold or uninterested doesn’t stop a guy who wants me. Stop trying to convince a man to love what he so obviously should be grateful for (me)!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 04:37 PM
23

And just to add, not only is he not into you if you’re confused — but, ask yourself, is the guy who makes you feel confused and anxious really the guy for you? Do you not deserve better? A guy who wants you as much as you want him would be going out of his way to express his intentions and prove them in his actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 04:35 PM
16

The “never assume he’s not like that” is 100%. I’ve had so many LTR’s with guys who seemed like they would never ever ever do something horrible - and then did. Including the one who almost killed me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 04:33 PM
11

Yes! Have trusted friends and tell them the whole story and ask them to be honest!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 04:32 PM
13

Seconding anxiety as a red flag I ignored for years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 04:31 PM
2

Right? I keep thinking about how I’m “on his mind”. Like, what? You mean I haven’t been on your mind every day since you regretfully left me?! Please.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 04:26 PM
3

I was literally in fantasy mode about efforts my ex could make to get me back and then he called and left a vm. Another FDS helped me realize that little phone call he made is low effort. I realized he’s nowhere near the guy I was fantasizing about, and he never has been.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 02:37 PM
2

LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 02:35 PM
2

Hahaha right, the scale is literally only high or low bc none of us are settling for any grey area here!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 02:34 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 02:33 PM
3

Whoa! Yet all the romantic comedies told us we were the gooey cheesy needy love sick gender...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 04:27 AM
5

Thank you!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 04:26 AM
13

Thank you! I put in the effort to use a ruler lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:56 AM
4

Thank you <3.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:47 AM
8

WELL HE GOT COLD AS ICE ::quietly cries in bed::
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:26 AM
8

Thank you for sharing. And wow, played you for two months, that terrifies me how fake they can be for so long. I feel like it’ll take me years to trust a man again, if there’s ever one worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:25 AM
6

Yeah he probably went on a little lonely phone call spree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:14 AM
3

Yeah. You ladies were a huge help though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:13 AM
6

LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:13 AM
6

OMFG this cracked me up. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:12 AM
7

Will you tell me what happened? Helps me shift my focus.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:12 AM
8

This was far too relatable. I was lying in bed with a migraine fantasizing about high effort ways he could try to win me back and all that happened in real life was he left a meaningless voicemail.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:11 AM
10

I won’t...because of this amazing support system!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:10 AM
9

True - to use me for something and I won’t learn anything I don’t already know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:10 AM
8

Haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:09 AM
9

LOLOLOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:08 AM
12

2 and 4 without a doubt, thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:08 AM
7

THANK YOU.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:08 AM
17

It’s so true, they always come back and it’s never worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:07 AM
11

I always was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:06 AM
24

You’re absolutely right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:06 AM
11

I feel set free by the pickmeisha cycles I perpetrated my whole life. I feel like I have a chance at real love because I’m making space for myself - and it’s okay if I have to wait awhile for it. Men are plentiful and they’ll always want me, it’s time for me to level up my decisiveness and get what I deserve. I feel happy to be alone and uncoupled from guys who never really saw my value. Like I have the opportunity now to recognize and validate my own value now. FDS put a hault to a lifetime of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 05:04 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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