same. and i’m a minimalist so i truly don’t want more junk in my house. i live alone, so a practical gift for cleaning my own home would thrill me. but i do think it would hit different if it was reinforcing the expectation that i use the gift to perform labor for the giver.
this is so important. feminism isn’t the only reason women work. wages are low, cost of living is high, houses are the biggest they’ve ever been, most households have two cars now, everyone in the house has a smartphone and data plan, multiple computers and flatscreen tvs in the house, internet service and equipment cost, college tuition costs through the roof, medical advancements mean more treatments available to pay for… living just costs more than it used to. which isn’t universally a bad th…
i’m not sure if i’d be strong enough myself, but it may be her only chance to save herself and get out of this. it’s NOT going to get better from here.
i imagine it’s the same as any other privileged group with no grasp on equality vs equity. they’re thinking in terms of equality, where if you get tampons, i should get the same amount too, whether i need them or not. an equitable arrangement is where no one is bleeding all over the place, and people who need tampons to achieve that get access to them, and people who don’t just continue to not bleed everywhere.
NEVER assume ANY partner is clean, regardless of what they do or do not say about it. assume they ALL have something. some things (e.g. HPV) even the most well-intentioned guy could have no idea he has.
this brings back such awful memories of dirty old men when i was a teenager working retail. i realized as an adult why they came to the store to be creeps - they knew we had to just stand there and take it. disgusting.
less than that! it’s WEEKS and they want to introduce either porn or pornified acts to “keep things interesting”. since when is regular old sex not interesting??
YEP. and i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again - this is why LVMs rage so hard about SAHMs. they don’t do jack when they stay home and they project that onto women too.
exactly! the same people who think showing up at church means you’re a good person or being at the office 60 hours a week means you’re doing work. it’s performative. i’m interested in the people who get shit done and don’t care who sees them do it.
i was thinking the same thing. the implication that we’re not capable of managing our negative emotions is just silly. we’re EXPECTED to manage them if we don’t want to be called “crazy”.
men are projecting bc they know that when THEY stay home, they don’t take care of shit. they just play video games and watch porn and eat junk. they can’t fathom that a SAH spouse might actually DO something.
looking back, my hoe phase was the LOUDEST cry for help. like i may as well have been introducing myself with “i was sexually assaulted in the last five years and i am NOT processing it in a healthy way”. in retrospect, i sort of can’t believe that NO ONE i was close to, like… noticed. said anything. ever. ☹️
my thoughts exactly. afaik i don’t act outwardly afraid when encountering men in public, certainly not enough to attract attention, and being constantly surrounded by fearful women isn’t something the well-adjusted men in my life have ever commented on. this guy is clearly doing something.
oh god, i fell for this in my pickme days. there’s always way more to the story - it never seems to boil down to a psycho woman who refuses to share her kid or let them have a dad.
i didn’t have a height preference at first, but got tired of dudes being insecure about my height (i’m nearly 5’10”), not “letting” me wear heels, etc. so now i definitely prefer guys that are a couple inches taller than me 🤷🏻♀️
i think it’s similar to how people talk about homelessness, addiction, etc. - they say crass shit like this to try to reassure themselves that it can’t happen to them. because it CAN happen to them, and that’s terrifying
and as soon as the news broke, teams of scrotes gathered in basements with their programming skills and business plans trying to be first to market with whatever will take this platform’s place. unfortunately there’s still an audience and it’s guaranteed to migrate elsewhere
idk, personally i feel weird putting things on my guests’ plates when i don’t know what they want. i always serve buffet style or on the table. BUT sitting there while some of my guests serve some of my other guests would be weird af.
fixing a plate is something you do for a child, or to send leftovers for someone who couldn’t join, or when you spot your neighbor out the window and have plenty to share. fixing a plate for a capable adult who’s right there at the table just does not compute.
probably the same way they expect us to look flawless but not spend all our time/money on appearance, and be “a girl that can eat” but stay a size 2, etc etc - MAGIC! 🌟
he’s not comfortable addressing this issue with the waiter, a complete stranger whose job it is to handle it? but he IS comfortable addressing it with his date, also a complete stranger, whose job it is NOT? yeah no, that’s got manipulation written all over it
a screen reader would still tell her the dude is 63 and in an “open relationship”, so i think helen keller would have run for the hills too. she still had a sense of smell and you know this dude smells like cheese.
but it’s cancerous because she is clearly NOT presenting her vaginal area to him on a daily basis, and she makes decisions to do things without consulting him, and apparently takes a long time to get out of the car. can you really expect a man to live like that?? 🤡
and there is not NEARLY enough conversation about this. we’re all just walking around in the world with men acting like we don’t know this is what half of them are beating it to??
“sweet enough to wait a year” = so we’re acknowledging sex with him is problematic enough that it’s kind to protect her from it for a while? which is it, pickmes??
fwiw, you can definitely still get hpv with a condom. it doesn’t cover everything. another reason to be choosy about partners even when having “safe sex”
lmfao. i love that there’s a specific exception for stories like nest guy. thanks mods, i agree that it’s time to take stock of and steer our collective attitude.
idk man, i’m out in the working world with everyone’s husbands and some of them absolutely ARE that useless at work. but that’s a whole separate discussion.
at this exact moment he’s swiping on tinder and trying his sob story on every pickme he can find. you’re absolutely right, these clowns always find a way
i’ve always lived in pretty sketchy neighborhoods, and moved a couple years ago into a bigger apartment with more amenities in a “nicer” part of town. ngl, love the apartment - having my own washer and dryer is amazing. but the neighbors are as goofy as every other place i’ve lived. and i’ve only called the police because i felt unsafe once in my entire life and it was in the new “nice” neighborhood, so 🤷🏻♀️
i agree. the crisis line i volunteered at had experienced fulltime staff that would help you make your safety plan. if connecting with an org like that is an option, OP, i would run your safety plan past them and see if they have anything to add. they’ve been through this with hundreds of women and know what to do.
i spend a lot of time/money on beauty rituals because i fear the consequences of not doing so - everything from less career mobility to strangers making snide remarks or even judging me silently. i’m under no illusion that i’m making these choices freely. and it can’t be empowering if you’re under duress.
this reminds me of a quote about how women are categorized as being fuckable or worthless, and the solution for this isn’t to expand the definition of fuckable. it’s to separate our fuckability from our value.
i always wondered if my favorite murder was as bad as it sounded. i almost detect a “cool girl” undertone? “we’re not like other girls, we gab about rape and guts and stuff”. idk.
exactly. that’s just not a trait of well-adjusted people who are looking for healthy and egalitarian relationships. there’s always something fucked up under the hood.
exactly. i don’t think any of them really “fell” for me either. they just start feeling entitled to my body after a while and aren’t sure how else to explain it.
"It’s about taking that power back, showing it off, and not taking advantage with it,” she said. “I’m not letting myself be owned anymore.” my heart is broken. no woman has ever claimed REAL power by “showing skin” and getting plastic surgery. that’s not power.
this is what kills me. they don’t actually want to talk about or work to fix any of the men’s issues, just use them as an excuse to dismiss the women’s issues
it was “follow this, you bitches” in her early 2000’s tour monologue, literally every show. i’m a cher superfan since childhood and haven’t thought about this in years. in retrospect, it totally sucks.
THANK YOU. the “masculine” traits we’re supposedly talking about here are basically “bucking up, taking responsibility, and honoring your commitments”, right? so the husband just needs to meet the same standard of “masculinity” as... his wife? listen, these are baseline requirements to be an adult of any gender. if men need to be paid more and have the legal right to rape/beat us in order to feel “masculine” enough to do the bare minimum, no thanks. i SWEAR by dave ramsey’s financial methods and…
perfection isn’t enough - women have to be EFFORTLESSLY perfect. that’s what “natural beauty” means. flawless with no makeup, no time getting ready in the bathroom, no worries about her diet. perfect, effortlessly.
i mean... my masters degree is rolled up in a tube right now. theoretically you COULD put your dick in it. but i can assure you that’s not what it’s for.
the women typically can’t eat bc they need to have an empty stomach in case emergency surgery is needed. so she’s probably hungry and eating in front of her is kind of a dick move...
i’m torn. i’ve lived alone for 10 years but would actually LOVE to have roomies again if i found the right people. i just live in an area where people marry young and finding responsible single folks to live with is annoying. i can afford it on my own so 🤷🏻♀️ i could see “it’s fun” as a valid reason to live with other people.
i didn’t come home early, but i was on total lockdown and let my bf back home make my life miserable the whole time. then he cheated while i was gone and left me for the other girl when i got back 🤡🤡🤡
i think it’s more to test how “cool” you are. they want to find out early if you’re happy to accept the bare minimum. if they start out treating you like your time is valuable, they might have to keep it up.
you are absolutely worthy of love. also, when you’re ready and if your teeth are a major source of insecurity, consider talking to a dentist about porcelain veneers. you deserve to be comfortable in your body, whatever route you take to get there.
when you give reasons, it turns into a negotiation. he will want to argue about how true or legitimate your reasons are, maybe promise to change or make some other counteroffer... it’s not worth the stress for either of you. if it’s over, it’s over.
absolutely true, although “failed to get her” plays a bit into the “woman as prize/reward” narrative that should be questioned. sometimes we’re just not interested - not because the dude “failed” or should try harder or doesn’t deserve the reward that is his woman of choice - but because we’re not interested and “no” is a complete sentence.
i love shoegaze, shit like this is how i start my mental gymnastics. “guys that like good music are hard to find, maybe i can convince him to take a bath??”
yes!! and don’t want her caked in makeup but still expect a flawless face. like, being perfect isn’t even enough, you have to be perfect AND defy all laws of the universe to achieve it effortlessly. wtf?
we have the same digestive system... but statistically women are more likely to have IBS and other gut issues. if it was really not possible to control your gas, we would have WAY more women blasting off
