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PollyAnnaSunshine Archive

View 2 posts and 869 comments by PollyAnnaSunshine on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

A (male) relative of mine has a secret compartment in a dresser that you could never find if you didn't know it was there. You have to pull the drawer out to get to it. They told me so that I could get the money out in case of an emergency.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 09:54 PM
16

I have never initiated contact or pursued men (thanks to my Granny's teachings when I was younger). Am early 30s and single but the relationships I've had have been decent -- with a few notable exceptions-- because I was with someone who had at least met the bar of putting in effort to court and get to know me. Recently a male friend who I talk to occasionally and who always has women chasing him said some snarky comment "How's that workin' out for you?" when I said that I don't chase after men …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 07:24 PM
11

My dad was of the "rotation of girlfriends in and out of the house who may compete with and traumatize your kids" variety and neither me nor my siblings are speaking to him anymore after he pulled some ridiculous shit with his current girlfriend. There's nothing to destroy your self esteem like your father allowing a grown woman to bully you in your own home as a child and justifying it and making excuses for it, or even joining in on it and blaming you for being a bad child. Of course, a HVM wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 07:15 PM
1

For the first couple of dates I like to wear something that makes me feel like the best version of me and emphasizes my face. Once I know the person more and feel they have earned va-va-voom or fancy, then I can unlock that level. Typical outfits for me (I live in a cold climate): Nice jeans, dressy boots or some cute heels, and a blouse or a soft knit top, with a jacket. Skirt and tights with a simple cute top and shoes that match the tights in color (cute flats or heels) Jewelry- a favorite ri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 04:31 AM
56

Same, I was like ooh he cute (because of what he's saying). He does have a nice, deep voice though too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 01:29 AM
94

Zayn has always given me creeper vibes. Hope Gigi leaves him and finds someone better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 02:55 PM
195

So true. Think about how "domestic abuse" is treated so differently socially and in the courts compared to someone doing the same things (hitting, slapping, kicking, destroying property, surveilling) a non-family member. Abusers love to use the 'private matter' language to shoo people away so they can't intervene, and the legal system has befriended them in this regard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 02:53 PM
42

I think it can be a red flag if they demand on picking every restaurant or meal at home around their very narrow eating preferences. Also fearfulness around ethnic food is a no-go for me because I have ethnic family, love cooking, and enjoy traveling and the pickiness would really impact my ability to enjoy family time, cooking, and exploring new cuisines while traveling. Some people really do have textural issues or even dietary issues that can make them picky (ex. not allergic but a lot of thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 11:09 PM
21

I would do the following: Install a deadbolt or one of the other devices shown on FDS recently to prevent his unauthorized entry into your apartment. (Edited to add- there were some posts recently about different types of locks but I forget the name. I think if you search FDS the posts were in the last few weeks and there was one for hotel rooms / travel and other types that could be used for home and the commenters talk about the pros and cons). Do not open the door or let him in if he comes ov…
/r/askFDS28/10/21 02:14 AM
32

Read this article and reporting back here, slightly nauseated, to say that IMO it's child abuse to have this going on with a kid in the house. Sounds like the girlfriend is up there screeching like a cat in heat while mommy pickme cries in her room and inventories her lingerie collection. And "Eric" probs doesn't even notice the kid since it's not someone he can f*ck. I'm ready to start a gofund me for this kid to attend private school and regular therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 12:21 AM
38

She even used the word "helpmate" like wtf did I just read
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 12:10 AM
2

This is the tea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 11:21 PM
232

By about age 35, most men who are still single seem to have had the experience of being dumped HARD by a woman who probably did communicate her expectations, but instead they toyed around and played chicken and didn't value her. Maybe they tried the forever girlfriend thing, or playing house and adopting a dog together, or the being "unsure" about marriage due to their parents' divorce in 1993 or their highschool girlfriend dumping them. I've heard all of those excuses and they're stereotypes fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 05:09 AM
11

Yes, yes, yes, to all of that! We've all made mistakes before, the most empowering way to recover from betting on potential is to make a written list of standards, which are protective, as you said, and commit to fully adhering to them. And I definitely agree with your insight at the end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 03:17 AM
75

While I think it's good that your boyfriend was receptive to learning about the porn industry and the negative effects it has on both the actors and the consumers, the fact he didn't reach these conclusions on his own is less than ideal. In my experience, men may go along with what you say if they fear losing you, but often the changes are temporary and inauthentic. What we see as setting a boundary, they agree to to avoid being single again/being without you. Later, when they renege on the comm…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 02:07 AM
13

I'd recommend a portable charger for anyone who enjoys outdoor activities. I think I've seen ones that use solar to recharge the charger so that you can get more battery into your phone. Also send a written itinerary to a couple of loved ones and make plans to check in, especially if doing something like hiking or camping. A family member of mine will do this when hiking/backpacking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 09:04 PM
103

Wow, that dude was being hella creepy. He sounds very steeped in red pill misogyny, good for you for recognizing it and getting away from him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 08:55 PM
27

Imagine hating yourself this much that you proudly publicize on the internet how good you are at emotional abusing your girlfriends so they won't break up with you. Guys who do this are just such pathetic and small people. As another commenter said, if a guy makes you feel bad about yourself then don't sit around and analyze it, just take it for the red flag it is and leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 02:58 PM
11

This
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 04:04 PM
3

I've definitely experienced this with smell and color. At some point I was in an office with a strange smell and the admin and I could smell it and started to get a headache from it... none of the men said they could smell anything. Someone came by with a little meter and said the particles in the air were detectable to the machine but weren't at the level that a human nose should detect them... um, sir, do you mean the MALE nose cannot detect because mine definitely can! Likewise with color. Wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 11:59 PM
3

After some of the stories I've read on FDS, that thought crossed my mind as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 10:33 PM
31

You nailed it :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 10:27 PM
60

My ex as well (a very "manly" Arab-American with two toxic parents). He was super in denial about how his childhood affected him while also complaining about his family and then also justifying and defending them... a real mindf*ck. And he drank a lot to repress/avoid his emotions, "couldn't handle" tough conversations, and was the life of the party/super positive and accommodating to his friends but I was there for him to vent his anger upon. So glad we didn't end up married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 10:27 PM
63

On the street I have my sunglasses and am looking at nobody in particular and usually walking quickly. If a man approached me or made some comments I would either ignore and keep walking or give a very short answer and keep walking (if that feels like it would be safer). Whatever keeps the interaction short and keeps you safe. There have been posts on here about meeting HVM in the wild but HVM know the right time and place to introduce themselves to a woman and it's not when she's a stranger wal…
/r/askFDS07/10/21 10:59 PM
30

Oh, indeed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 10:54 PM
157

And the ex is literally "laughing all the way to the bank" :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 10:49 PM
2

The most important thing is that the ring should meet the prospective bride's preferences and the prospective groom should take care to find out about those in advance. Some women TRULY don't want an expensive ring but a quality gold and precious stone ring can be had for $500 from a nice family jeweler. And if the woman wants the very "traditional" (in the US) diamond ring, that's going to cost quite a bit more but IMO the man should do whatever he can to meet that expectation. Secondly, the ri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 08:09 PM
13

Oh, he lists himself as a Student at Self Employed, too. Tell me you don't have a good job without telling me you don't have a good job. But he'll just say he's protecting himself from "gold diggers".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 08:31 PM
10

With the humiliation he inflicted on her, I feel like the only thing she can really do is throw his stuff out on the curb, change the locks, and ghost him. There's no way I'd stand up in front of a crowd of people, including those who witnessed this "confession" of his, and pledge my life to someone after this, even if they swore up and down that they were just drunk and it's not true. No way. I feel so sorry for her and I hope she can find someone who can truly value and love her the way everyo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 05:41 PM
19

So shameless and gross. Never marry a man who cannot or will not support the family financially and requires loans from your family to meet basic needs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 03:23 PM
9

If your friend is in the US, depending on the state, being married will likely offer her some protection in terms of housing. Some states are "dowry states" which require that both spouses sign off on things like loans against the marital home-- even if one spouse is not on the loan/deed. This is to prevent one spouse becoming homeless in the event of an untimely death etc. Being a girlfriend, if her name is not on the deed to the house, the best protection she would probably have in most states…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 03:22 PM
3

That is a good point!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 02:23 PM
8

I agree with this. It might not always be validation but just wanting to feel like the person you are in a relationship "gets" you and is paying attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 02:21 PM
94

Sis, I hear you. There have been some spot-on responses and I don't have much to add. It's normal to want to be loved and seen and gift giving can be a physical recognition and reminder of that. There are a lot of LVM out there and if you are very attractive, you will be attracting EVERYONE and LVM are like flies on shit with any woman who gives them the slightest chance. The stuff in the handbook really works and it will help you to vet and weed out LVM quicker. Please do not listen to your Pic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 04:30 AM
2

OMG yes I love this. There is a painting in my local art museum coming to mind that would be the perfect place to pose this question.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 01:20 AM
2

I'm glad she's getting out. Stories like this as well as the one about the g*ng r*pe of the teenage girl leaving her permanently maimed and using a colostomy bag underline why certain types of content and behavior need to return to being illegal. This woman and her child are financially being damaged by her husband's addiction to pornography. Young girls are being physically harmed, r*ped, and killed by men who use p*rn. The abusers are never held accountable in court because of the lies that th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 01:11 AM
2

You can drop it off to another post office to be mailed from there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 12:57 AM
1

It doesn't look like 20M to me. Hope their house doesn't flood or catch fire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 12:52 AM
1

This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 12:17 AM
34

First: I've been in an LDR before with someone I had known for years prior and would never recommend that to anyone. Especially someone you have met online. You have all the emotional attachment and obligation of a relationship without the fun parts and without getting to see the "real" them as everything is filtered through a screen or phone and through the lens of "wow this is so amazing and romantic that we are together in person!" Second: You were not too harsh. You stated a boundary. I thin…
/r/askFDS30/09/21 05:59 PM
3

Text him "Thank you for the gift" :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 01:38 AM
129

Keep in mind that your exclusivity is something that is of value. There is a reason that the man asks the woman for her hand in marriage- a woman's exclusivity is valuable and taking yourself off the market for the wrong pick can lead to opportunity cost. Continue to date others until he expresses an interest in being exclusive, and continue to vet and evaluate whether he is someone YOU want to be exclusive with, rather than trying to gauge whether he is interested in being exclusive with you. W…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 01:16 AM
6

This was so sad to read. I hope the best for your family member. The level of planning and care that goes into a wedding says a lot about the couple's respect for each other, for the institution of marriage, and for their guests. A simple courthouse ceremony or Sunday afternoon wedding can be just as beautiful and meaningful as a huge 300+ person black-tie bash. One of the most beautiful weddings I have ever been to was in the mountains with maybe 35 people in attendance. The sense of joy is pal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 12:36 AM
26

So true. A number of those qualities are something that would appeal to me on a surface level but I want to see that someone has the ability to go deeper and be an individual as well. Social media and the internet have in some ways led to this collective personality cropping up among many people. People become this little collection of facts about themselves, most of them trivial, or things that can be photographed and posted for attention-- but hardly anyone really knows themselves in a meaning…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 03:27 PM
6

As a shortie who tends to look younger than my actual age, I can confirm. Men who fetishize "tiny" women have something wrong psychologically. Many times they are looking for someone to dominate and/or are insecure in their masculinity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 01:09 AM
5

I can completely see what you mean. To me it depends a lot on the situation and the sense I get from that person. If I met someone out like I described above and we had a conversation about something of mutual interest, in addition to a physical attraction, and then they asked me to exchange (Google Voice) numbers, I personally might feel comfortable doing that. At that stage, would I tell them where I live or work, or give out my real phone number or email address? Absolutely not. A guy who is …
/r/askFDS06/09/21 06:18 PM
13

I think you have to do what makes you comfortable! Men do chase women out of physical attraction and lust. Being approachable and out in situations where you could potentially meet people (be it clubs*, religious organizations, lectures about art or culture, classes, parties, fine dining events) will simply create opportunity to meet people... after that point vetting about their character and intentions comes in. *I mean clubs for shared interests, not nightclubs here That brings up another poi…
/r/askFDS06/09/21 05:38 PM
20

This is my dad's personality as well. Currently we are not speaking because he put his girlfriend's preferences over my physical health (related to COVID). I texted him that for the last 25 years, he's put relationships with selfish women and his own selfish wants over his children and family and that I'm staying away until he can figure out how to stop doing that. It now sounds like most of my family is either not talking to him or not willing to be around him due to his choices.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 03:33 PM
85

My grandmother used to tell me to make eye contact and then look away, or "drop the handkerchief" and if they guy is interested he will come over to you/help you pick up what you dropped etc. She was fending off interested men until she died in her late 80s (she had been a widow for 10 years at that point). In a cafe maybe if you're both looking at the menu you could ask him a generic question about the menu in the same way you might to any other person standing next to you, and see if he contin…
/r/askFDS06/09/21 02:46 PM
15

Sounds a lot like my dad. This is emotional abuse and you don't deserve that. Your mom excusing it isn't right-- it's possible she's been broken down from the years of abuse and no longer sees this as wrong. Either way she is not going to be of help to you and it sounds like you have realized that. The grey rock suggestion from another commenter is a good one, as long as you have to live under their roof. I do not know how old you are but if there is any way you can move out safely on your own o…
/r/askFDS04/09/21 01:45 PM
1

This is true
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 02:15 AM
32

Unfortunately, I think it is going to get worse. -Porn is not going away and has fried the brains of a generation of men. -The internet connects all kind of weirdos and they become an evil echo chamber that spawns attacks on women and children like Plymouth and Sandy Hook. -LibFems are the face of feminism in the Western world, and right now they are focused primarily on keeping porn legal, being anti-kinkshaming and anti-slutshaming, legalizing prostitution, etc. These causes actively hurt, dis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 03:53 PM
11

If you want throw and lasting power, I think Versace Crystal Noir is a good one. One spritz and it stays kinda close or you can spray more and it will give you more of a dramatic scent. Lots of compliments. Angel by Theirry Mugler is also a good one and I've worn that on and off since 2015i/2016ish with lots of compliments. Gucci bloom is nice for summer. Tom Ford Black Orchid is powerful old lady perfume but in an amazing way. I recommend going to a department store or perfume store and trying …
/r/askFDS26/08/21 11:36 PM
1

Yes and as a result I have cut contact with him. Told him we can talk again when he is ready to treat me respectfully and recognize boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 02:45 AM
110

This is so stupid and possibly the stupidest part of it is that he doesn't consider Mexican girls to be "Westerners girls". Mexico is literally in the Western hemisphere, pls learn geography, dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 01:50 AM
79

I have never thought about this but now I am going to pose that question :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 01:10 AM
4

So sick that any woman would post something like this Pickmeisha did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 02:04 AM
78

Great post. You were right to question why any woman would leave such an apparently good catch and to see that as a red flag. In my experience, most women do not leave the father of their children unless something is really off. Either cheating or some kind of abuse, most of the time. My parents are divorced for reasons very similar to what this guy did to his wife. Men who do that kind of stuff see nothing wrong with it most of the time and don't seek therapy or help no matter how many loved on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 03:09 AM
11

And that none of the women are trafficked or otherwise coerced
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 12:32 PM
104

Saw this earlier and met my daily salt intake reading all the LVM tears about how this is just like the Taliban and happening because "banks don't want the little guy to get rich."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 11:21 PM
23

Wow what kind of "Doctor" doesn't know that women are humans not objects to be given away? Sounds like he got his degree at some incel school or maybe one run by the Taliban.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 10:12 PM
2

Women can't afford to have nervous breakdowns, even though we have every reason to. Oh, I felt this in my SOUL. So true-- and I feel super lucky to at least have the mother and siblings I have. They have been caring when I was on the edge of breaking down and needed some help getting on my feet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 12:15 AM
4

Wow I never thought about that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 12:02 AM
10

FDS teaches women to be financially independent so that they can afford to walk at any time. It's strategic to be a SAHM with a side business, investments, part time work, inheritance, etc. which helps mitigate the risks associated with having one income only- divorce, abandonment, death, disability, etc. on the part of your husband. A pre or post nuptial agreement to protect you and your child, and a financial plan that accounts for various possibilities can both be beneficial. Have your own la…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 11:16 PM
24

Yep!! I've noticed a really weird overlap between more leftist beliefs and extreme right wing beliefs coming together under the umbrella of the New Age to promote some very dangerous ideas. Basically the anything goes attitude of the extreme left with the bootstraps economic theories and outright fascism of the hard right. Anyone who expresses concern about someone's behavior can now be labeled "low vibe" or "toxic" or told that they are "attracting" bad things by speaking truthfully about somet…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 02:41 PM
5

I used to lurk "manosphere" blogs from time to time years ago as I had a feeling this stuff was about to come mainstream and wanted to learn more about it (the info has been useful in guarding against it as it has become mainstream). Some of my family is from the Balkans/Asia Minor area originally and it made me sick to see some of the comments recommending that guys who cannot afford to travel overseas visit their local Orthodox church to look for young women to scam with their PUA techniques. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 02:14 PM
50

I see so many of these toxic memes around the subject of "energy" acting like it's almost magical. From blaming women who have been victimized with stupid slogans about "like attracts like" and "you attract what you are" to this "her energy could bring out the best in the devil" or the idea that toxic people are attracted to a woman's energy to be "healed"... just no. Popular books and memes on this topic have brainwashed a generation of women to take responsibility for abusive relationships bec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 02:04 PM
5

So happy for you! Congratulations and best wishes! Your ring is beautiful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 09:55 PM
4

Wondering if anyone wants to share what timelines you think are reasonable for when you meet someone IRL through shared activities. How long should a guy get to know you at the activity before expressing interest if he is genuine and acting high value? Versus when is too soon?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 01:39 AM
2

This. There's no one size fits all here. The basic standard is that the guy has to be marriage material aka a fully functioning adult and willing partner who actually loves us. Unfortunately seems to be not the easiest to find in today's world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 01:05 AM
5

Could not have said it better. One of my bff is deep in the shit right now, wanting to take time off work to care for her child and her spouse is not willing to "let" her not work. Almost every woman I know who is married is in a 50/50 relationship or at best 25/75, they do a lot of the housework and when kids come, most of the kids work. I left a guy who paid for everything due to some disrespectful behavior on the part of him and his family. And honestly I think most of my friends thought I'm …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 01:02 AM
3

Story time about why it's Yes All Men. My very first weekend of college, I was pressured to going to a fraternity party with a guy I really did not get a good vibe from, by my friend's pickme roommate who was after one of the guy's friends. The guy kept leering at me, getting way too close, trying to get me to drink and to go back to his room to "watch a movie" in the middle of the party. I kept refusing the drinks and moving away from him. Finally, I stood up from the couch we were all sitting …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 12:12 AM
10

Yep. I would always Google. And if you've met online or somehow get the vibe that things don't add up and you want a gut check-- I also recommend searching county court records and the sex offender registry if you have his full name. Civil court records will show if the guy you are dating who is "recently divorced" is ACTUALLY divorced, and if he's been sued for back child support. If you suspect he is married, you can also search his name up in the county auditor's office and see if he owns a h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 11:38 PM
7

They know you are too attractive for them and would not agree to a date with them, so they hope to play the "friends" card to get one on one time with you. "Friends" also means you can talk about more things (vs. a date where people are on their best behavior) and maybe they can get you talking about your love life, your personal problems or drama, etc. and find a way to manipulate you. into "giving them a chance." That's what friends means to most men. I get this all the time and it's so annoyi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 10:25 PM
28

This. Networking is so awkward when the men in the room are trying to see if you're DTF and maybe be a live in GF who will split rent with them :) Ewww.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 01:47 PM
21

Oooh yes. It's so annoying. I am in the same boat as you and was often *shook* by the types of guys that would bother me in public. These guys are like mosquitos though, their approach does not reflect anything about you except that you're there and you probably look nice and approachable. I look younger than my age and my natural resting face is a slight smile so I think that many of these men felt safe to approach because I didn't look like the type to coldly reject them. I once had a man prob…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 01:44 PM
40

Lots of men on dating apps see women as a mail-order-prostitute and get ragey when we don't want their offer of lame date and sex. I left the apps as well once I realized that I was at best getting low effort men, and at worst, all kinds of rejects and predators.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 01:18 PM
12

Completely agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 01:15 PM
23

Congrats and best wishes to you! Love the ring and your nails are stunning also.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 12:00 AM
4

I'm not actively dating because I work a lot and don't have the energy. Spending time outside of work for me looks like friends, family, social stuff, self care days, hobbies... not swiping online or spending 2 hours getting dolled up for another guy who probably just wants sex. That being said, I am in my early 30s and I do want a marriage and kids. So, sooner than later I may need to make room in my schedule and mental energy to put myself in situations where I can meet quality people and acti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 07:13 PM
38

I'm glad she was able to figure out the truth of the matter and make a plan to get out of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 11:03 PM
62

I think it's very weird that she was surprised by the husband wanting to leave a portion of his 401(k) to his adult son. She protests that she's not trying to get him to disinherit the kid, but it sure does sound like that is what she was expecting. And in turn, I think he was wrong to question her about wanting to leave a portion to her nephew or mother. Sounds very tit for tat and petty. Fair or not, second marriages with children involved are different from first marriages in some respects --…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 11:02 PM
13

I agree with this. IMO the most common reason for ghosting is that the man (ghoster) realizes that sleeping with this woman (ghostee) is going to take more effort than he is willing to put forth. And he has other options that he believes will be easier. However, they want to leave the door open to come around and say "Hey" and try again later. So instead of being upfront and saying he wants something different, he ghosts. I also think it doesn't really matter the reason for the ghosting. It's a …
/r/askFDS25/07/21 05:48 PM
71

He's clearly kinda karma farming/virtue signaling with this post. I'm glad he recognizes the fact that women are intimidated by strange men, but I don't think he deserves a cookie for that. I don't fear every random man that I walk by in public in the daylight, so is there something he's doing to creep women out?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 03:18 PM
11

These are great examples. It's been about a couple years now since I was on online dating and I was about 10-15lbs lighter then, very thin. I also had very long hair at that time. I found that my look attracted a lot of the gym bros and wanna-be gym bros who would comment about me being 'tiny' and then basically ask questions like the ones you cited about how I planned to stay this way.... "So what are you into to stay fit?" I took it as a shit test and also a way to open the door to brag about …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 03:06 PM
7

*drools* Their outfits are amazing also.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 01:39 PM
6

My list grows longer every day... Police, military, firefighters ---> Known for DV and cheating, also have connections to those who can help them escape accountability. Trial attorneys ---> Trained in the arts of charm, manipulation, and tenaciousness; lawyers are among the professions with the highest level of psychopathy. Tax attorneys, patent attorneys, and corporate law may be good prospects for dating, however. Doctors---> long hours in the hospitals, potential God complex. Family practice …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 12:57 AM
4

This is true. I know several of these guys personally (got into software engineering or something similar to advance their earning potential, after having studied a different career)-- generally they come across pretty decent and don't tend to have the same nerd culture background as traditional computer science dudes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 12:35 AM
1

A couple topics I would be interested in: -Meeting men in the wild- OLD has been discussed heavily on the podcast as far as the positives and negatives and some strategies are concerned. A discussion for strategies of meeting men in real life would be great- where and also how to do this safely as there are safety pitfalls of being approached by men IRL just like there are for online dating. Also, any tips for vetting/background checking a man we just met. -For women who are part of a religious …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 07:39 PM
1

Me too! RBF, sunglasses, and a purposeful walk bypasses most of them. Sad that it takes so much energy to exist in public / go get a coffee/ watch the birds outside as a woman these days.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 05:42 PM
4

Thanks for sharing this. A couple times I had women approach me in public and compliment me, ask how old I am, etc. It always gave me weird vibes. In one case I thought it was someone who was on drugs and just a little crazy (this was in a major city at 12 in the afternoon) and I also had the thought of this could be a potential trafficker. This has validated my concern and that I wasn't being paranoid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 05:33 PM
1

"Kingdom" lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 03:38 PM
5

He should also be asking when he asks you out, like saying "I'd really love to take you to dinner this weekend. Do you like seafood?" A man should generally be asking what you like (and you don't want to waste too much time if there isn't gonna be a first date). He should also make sure to ask if you have any food allergies or diets you follow to ensure the venue will have a menu that you can enjoy! This is so key. One of my "rules" since discovering FDS is: I no longer EVER accept invitations w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 12:13 AM
57

I think she brings up some good points about the challenges of trying to date multiple people at once. Women are almost always going to have a favorite and like the other ones less. And we absolutely do have more skin in the game. That's one reason I didn't agree with some of this week's podcast, where it was recommended to keep guys around to date or enjoy their company when you know they do not meet your standards for an LTR or marriage. Many women have a really hard time keeping that emotiona…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 11:55 PM
1

I completely agree with this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 11:24 PM
1

Yes, a traditional woman.... and I assume they are a traditional man who will not so much as make MENTION of sex until the 3 months salary diamond engagement ring is on the finger... you know, tradition? Oh... they don't mean that kind of tradition. I see.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 09:04 PM
62

The only kind of 'outfit' I want a man to give me is sets of fine jewelry
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 08:32 PM
4

IMO tapas or something similar is a nice date, and it's easy to avoid drinking by ordering some sparkling water or a virgin cocktail/fresh squeezed juice. That being said, it seems this guy ignored your preferences when you stated you wanted to do dinner and meet by you. With the information you gave him about when you were going to be in the city, he took the opportunity to re-suggest what he wanted to do... when he could still have suggested dinner. Instead he chose not to do that. As far as i…
/r/askFDS05/07/21 08:11 PM
2

Completely agree. I know a couple of people like this (some men, some women), who live off of others because supposedly working for "the man" is evil. I guess it's not evil for your parents/boyfriend/girlfriend to go to work for "the man" to keep a roof over their heads and food in the fridge, though? Many claim to be self-employed but seem to do nothing all day. Women should stay away from men like this. There's a weird convergence between these types of leftist men and the extreme conservative…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 07:22 PM
2

Being new to a city or returning back after some time away opens up a lot of opportunities, IMO. It's a great conversation starter when you're out and about doing activities you like or joining new clubs. Introduce yourself, say you're new to the area, maybe ask if they recommend any places for lunch/to workout/coffee. People like to share and feel like they are helping you so the friendlier ones will probably open up the conversation more from there. Fitness classes can be really nice ways to m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 01:49 AM
2

Thank you for this post! I think these are some good strategies and even though I'm not on the apps, this has given me some points to think about if I ever get back on. Love the points about being upfront about any deal breakers to chase away those who will be against them (religion, want to live in a certain place, etc.) A lot of these are also great pointers for social media, for those of us meeting people IRL and potentially adding them to social sites.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 01:35 AM
1

Aw that's sweet. It is an old tradition for the man to carry his wife into their home after the wedding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 11:55 PM
1

Love to see it. Cheers!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 11:41 PM
3

I don't take bc for all of these reasons and no IUD either. Fuck that shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 11:40 PM
3

Amen! I would be proud to be her friend, she seems pulled together and cool as can be. Love her outfit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 11:33 PM
1

Saw this on TikTok earlier and didn't even click the comments as I knew the Scrotes and PickMes would be on their shit trashing the girl. My first thought was, this guy has obviously not had the conversation about whether this girl wants to get married to him and if so the timeline for taking that step. This is his fault for putting himself in a situation to be publicly embarrassed with a refusal on what looks like a busy street in NYC. A proposal is a question and the person being proposed to h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 11:29 PM
2

Queen <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 11:06 PM
2

Good for her parents for bringing this up to her. This man does indeed sound cheap for expecting them to pay the way for his adult children and asking her to go 50/50 with bills. I'm curious why they don't clearly state how to divide the check when the server asks? At least where I am from it wouldn't be rude for someone to say who should be on what tab if it's a smaller party.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 10:46 PM
25

Absolutely! That is an important realization. I am 32 and have had some single dads show an interest in me. I like kids but I strongly feel that if a guy has young kids, he doesn't have the time to have the kind of relationship I am looking for while being a good father to his children. Men know that women are aware of the challenges that come with dating a single dad and I have even had one tried to hide it from me... he got blocked and deleted as soon as I found out :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 10:40 PM
37

I would agree the vast majority of the time. Most women will not leave a man who is the father of their children unless there is something really, REALLY wrong in that relationship. I would say less than 1 percent of the time would a mother break up her family for petty reasons... even when women cheat it's usually for different reasons than men. Also, as the child of divorced parents, I know from the kids' side what it's like when your parent starts dating and is so absorbed in the new relation…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 10:20 PM
3

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 02:25 AM
1

Love this. Congrats on your new role!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 02:02 AM
33

Thanks for this post. You provided a gut check for me- after COVID I'm slacking on getting back up to date with all my various doctor's appointments and this was a wake up call to make those appointments! I agree with a lot of your points, especially the ones about knowing and living your standards, constant self-improvement, and balancing that with self care. I also agree about staying off online dating and I think most HVW would realize quickly that it is a waste of time. My personal markers o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 01:56 AM
1

That is so interesting and helpful-- thank you for sharing this information.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 11:55 PM
1

Can you elaborate on how Botox can erase trauma? Are you referring to some kind of traumatic marks on the skin or does Botox have a psychological effect as well. I am asking because I've heard of it being used for migraines so I'm curious how this could apply to stress and trauma as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 10:47 PM
8

Yep. Your story really resonates as I've been through similar at work, at a job I was overqualified for. This is slightly OT but I do believe that most HVW will be the target of envy from both men and women, regardless of their perceived social class. Why? High Value Women are highly adaptable in social situations, almost by our very nature. This means we can fit in with people both above and below our social class, without necessarily always "conforming" (although there are some times when conf…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 10:27 PM
2

Also want to add: FDS has done a lot to help me raise my standards for friends and family, not just in dating. I was ready to cut my dad off for the foreseeable future and I did. So please don’t misunderstand my discussion of unhealed wounds as making any kind of excuse to keep LVM or LV family and friends around... others are responsible for their own healing. But I find it helps to realize their actions are a reflection of their own poor character and/or unhealed trauma, not your worth or what…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 08:46 PM
2

Girl, I feel for you. My dad is also a LV male and I cut contact with him a couple months ago. He does have some good qualities and I do love him and appreciate those things about him. And that’s okay to appreciate the good things (that he taught you or brought to your life) while also being honest with yourself about the bad. Know your worth and don’t be afraid to let go of this relationship if he’s mistreating and disrespecting you. People like this are not necessarily evil but they can be... …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 08:40 PM
18

So true. I dated one ex of a much lower social class and he was constantly resentful that I had come from the fancy town in my area (even though after the divorce my mom was actually poor and we sometimes didn’t have money to pay for things we needed). Despite the lack of actual money I had still grown up with the manners and style of dress and way of speaking and he was often correcting me or acting like I was too uppity even though I was 19 and had super low self esteem. I was a total pickmeis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 08:19 PM
0

So true. My mom is a lovely person, but she makes excuses for men. In the past she's talked about how she always wanted sons because "boys are easier" and she has THREE daughters. Yet she harbors a lot of understandable anger at men also (having suffered abuse from them as most of us do). I learned years ago not to ask her for a gut check or dating advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 02:02 PM
2

Good question... I don't know if there is an honest way around it but there probably is a legal way, if that makes sense. Such as having a family member hold on to the money and then gift it back to you. A lawyer would be able to advise on the legality of a step like that, or whether a certain amount of funds that you already own is exempt from disclosure. Additionally, funds must be disclosed in a divorce as well (all bank account numbers etc.) so that would also be a good question to pose to a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 01:49 PM
33

This pertains to the USA only- I think if you meet at school, work, or other places where there are some type of similarities between the people there, there is more possibility of it working out than for people who specifically seek out members of a higher social class but don't have much in common with those people and don't come from that social class itself. Social class in the USA is so fluid and has to do with money but also norms, manners, behaviors, expectations, traditions around marria…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 01:23 PM
1

The scrote was ugly and sad but the assertiveness of these young women made me smile. They shouldn't have to do that, but they stood up for themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 03:26 AM
8

You can also search your own address and see if there is anything concerning in your neighborhood and nearby where you work. It’s a really valuable tool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 05:23 PM
2

Wow, I’ll definitely check that out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 05:22 PM
10

Yep... back when I did online dating I had a pair of “cute boots” that were flat with decent tread on the bottoms. Easy to run in, if necessary. I used to leave the guy’s full name and phone number (and address and place of work, if known/found online) with my mom and a friend, and run the full name through the sex offender registry. Would recommend doing all of the above for any guy, even if you meet in real life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 03:33 PM
16

-Porn -Pollution and contaminants in the water including plastics -Poor diet -Drug and alcohol and prescription medication abuse Those are my theories.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 03:51 AM
6

You know, it's funny they say this stuff because I know MANY gorgeous women who have all of these qualities (beauty, youth, long hair, white teeth, no tattoos, etc.) including myself- yet those women aren't married... and most of the women I know who ARE married do NOT have all those qualities. In real life, men (especially GOOD men), are interested in all kinds of women, not just ones who look like dolls and cook and clean and have no boundaries. Some of the women I know with the nicest husband…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 04:25 PM
2

Men like this will sleep on the same dirty sheets and yellowed pillow for years. I won't be taking advice from them about what I "need" and what I can "do without" thankyouverymuch. Same with women who are "scared to have anything expensive". I hear that bullshit so often. Can you imagine having so little self esteem that you don't even believe you are worthy of having stuff that MOST people do throughout their lifetime like getting an engagement ring or a decent car? Diamonds are the hardest mi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 04:17 PM
32

My thought as well. I had to turn it off after about a minute, her body language and laugh and all the tics with flicking the cigarette and licking her lips and the over-exaggerated facial movements just scream "traumatized" to me. Poor woman, she's not happy at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 04:12 PM
44

My grandpa used to describe my grandmother as his "dream girl" - no one should settle for a man who thinks less of them than that. Not all of us are great beauties and we all have our physical imperfections. But a man who really loves you will still describe you that way and not pick you apart looking for flaws. A man who is hateful inside and wants to tear a woman down so that he can control her will find fault with ANYONE and be sure to let them know about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 04:05 PM
7

This is absolutely true. And it's the opposite for men who are decent. None of my exes were perfectly high value, and some were even pretty low value. Yet, most guys I dated were capable of being in bed naked with me, doing sexual things, but not actually having sex until I was ready and gave a clear yes. I only actually slept with one of them and that was after 6 months, during which we were very physically affectionate, and at times we had even drank a lot. All the "gray" area excuses were the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 03:56 PM
9

Utah ladies, enjoy bathing in scrote tears as a result of this article hehe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 03:49 PM
3

I'm so sorry this happened to you, and I'm SO glad you didn't go home with this guy. He sounds disrespectful and insane, and like someone who doesn't care about consent. I would report him to the dating app and block him on LinkedIn to prevent his accessing your info. You could consider reporting him to his company's HR as another poster suggested. You could also consider retaining a lawyer to write a cease and desist letter as was also mentioned. Personally I'd probably contact the lawyer first…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 03:23 PM
15

In my state the spouse must sign and be on the deed even if s/he is not on the loan. This is to protect the non-borrower spouse in the event of death or other unforseen circumstances. All the loan signings I did had both spouses present and signatures notarized, even if only one spouse was guaranteeing the loan, because they were both on the deed and had to sign off on the refinance. I would be curious which states or countries do and do not require this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 03:23 AM
25

I think it depends on what is meant by this. When legally married you are one legal unit so putting your spouse first means doing things in the best interest of that unit. That's not something that everyone wants, and that's okay. Ex. if a wealthy widow wants to continue to put her children first and not share her money with some man she just met 2y ago, she could have him as a companion but remain unmarried, or devise a prenup that works for her. It would be understandable her wanting to put he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 03:37 AM
8

Please, take my free silver award :D This is handbook material, seriously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 10:58 PM
49

I think this is great! That is so awesome you have this new filter. One thing FDS has really helped me with is eliminating the shades of gray when it comes to male behavior. Now I'm like they're a HVM or a LVM, True or False, 1 or 0. In the past I wasted a lot of time on men who had MANY HV qualities, which led me to rationalize red flags and LV qualities that were quite serious- pushing for sex, deep-seeded family issues, verbal abuse, and selfishness. Then I felt like I "lost" something when t…
/r/askFDS03/04/21 03:55 PM
1

I wear boyshorts under dresses that aren't maxi and/or are lighter fabric. It is definitely nice to have a little extra coverage. Free people makes some little shorts that are cute and go well underneath a dress that could blow away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 03:31 PM
3

Love your response
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 03:27 PM
1

My first thought as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 03:14 PM
3

I super love this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 02:56 PM
10

The increasing acceptability of pornography and all this "kink" stuff is flowing downhill to encompass incredibly dark things that need to remain illegal, like incest, bestiality, and pedophilia. Hence Kinkmeisha in this post talking about a "pHySioLoGIcaL coNnEctIoN iN tHe bRaIn" like she's a neuroscientist. The brain is very little understood, and this is becoming an excuse for EVERYTHING. These people are co-opting terminology from legitimate civil rights movements such as the LGBT community,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 02:49 PM
12

This is so true. It also applies to many other "superficial" things such as how a person dresses and grooms themselves, the type(s) of education they pursue, their relationships with friends/family, etc. The type of career a man chooses to pursue and how diligent he is at doing so are valuable datapoints. It definitely isn't everything, but HV people will be reliable and stable, as that is the baseline for everything else. They will show up consistently to their work and do a good job, listen to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 02:46 AM
10

Oh, I needed this laugh to day. The delusion!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 01:19 AM
21

My cat is a family member and I love her like one. When I moved across the country with her I would only fly with airlines that let her be in the cabin with me, and paid more for a direct flight to minimize her time in her cage so she would not be scared. She is my responsibility and I take that seriously, as any responsible person would do. I would NEVER put her below the plane. It's loud and cold down there, and unfortunately abuse, neglect, and "baggage claim" issues (ex. put a pet on the wro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 01:14 AM
11

He was cute! I shouldn't have slandered him so, haha. I was thinking of him in 13 going on 30 with Jennifer Garner.
/r/askFDS01/04/21 12:19 AM
44

Same. It's the "Mark Ruffalo effect" from all these movies showing the handsome guy with a strong jaw being a cheater and a creep, meanwhile the pudgy, weak chinned, awkward guy friend is just there pining away. It's propaganda I think.
/r/askFDS31/03/21 10:08 PM
7

For the first time in my life, I feel mostly neutral or stoic towards the men in my dating pool. Started reading FDS about a year ago. Prior to that, I didn't act openly pickmeisha, but I was definitely an inner pickme. I never asked guys out, texted them first, or offered my number... but inwardly I was too easily moved to comply with a guy's wishes and ways of thinking, and not assertive enough of my own space and boundaries. Maybe I'd meet an attractive guy and search him up on social (not fr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 06:48 PM
12

This is so awesome <3 Been blocking content and people on my phone and unfollowing lots of accounts on socials. It's a great feeling <3 #moodforlife
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 06:38 PM
5

Thanks <3 Luckily it's over now as I have transferred to a new position in a completely new department! I believe she did know-- she made some comments alluding to it so I figured she had heard it through the grapevine. When I interviewed for the transfer (by upper mgmt), I was told since I had been at my original office less than one year, they had to know the reason. My coworkers in my original office knew I was supposed to be getting married and that the wedding was off. So there are multiple…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 08:59 PM
3

It would be twisted, for sure. Probably something along the lines of equating HVW with a woman's job/income/net worth to convince women who don't have those those things that they are "low value" and don't deserve a good man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 08:38 PM
19

Yep. My dad's side is of Mediterranean origin (one grandparent Sicilian and another from SE Europe) and I have dated men mostly from that area. Staying with your parents until you get married is normal. They also prefer to own property and not get into debt. And there is a perception that certain work is for men and other for women. Ex. the men will often fill up the cars with gas, do yardwork, lawnmowing, fixing, grilling etc. and women do indoor stuff and cooking. Men in my family can be jerks…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 08:16 PM
35

Years ago on OLD I had a guy start harassing me via text, and then when I didn't respond, tearfully apologize due to him being "drunk" when he sent those messages. Um, dude? You are 28, why are you drunk and harassing girls you do not even know and you think "I was drunk" is a good excuse? I told him off then blocked him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 07:47 PM
7

I have been on the receiving end of this behavior so many times. Most recently at my job. After breaking up with my ex, I transferred back to my home state to be nearer to my family. My company allowed me to do this, and they had vague reasons as to the transfer which was fine-- of course they're going to ask. My first day I get there to meet my new boss, a late 30s woman who was quite pretty. We went in her office to talk and just get to know each other. She immediately mentioned the fact she w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 05:08 PM
4

Same here. It is absolutely porn and the presence of these communities on the internet that are contributing to it. In the past I spent some time reading redpill stuff, misguidedly trying to understand men and dating better and arm myself against this. It is blatant misogyny and a perversion of men's mission in life to protect and provide. There is a lot of racism, antisemitism, and more tied up in these ideologies as well. These men have low self esteem because they contribute nothing of value …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 04:34 PM
10

Haven't been on OLD in quite awhile, but I always found this one grating. Usually these guys had pictures of them posing in front of some big rock or whatever on a hike. These dudes feel more and more like a hive mind sharing the same annoying personality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 03:21 AM
6

If the reason he wasn't a good partner to you is you're a vegetarian and he's paleo or some other such incompatibility, then sure, he's not a bad person. From your post it seems more like he was shitty to you and in that case his actions = his choices = who he is as a person. If he did bad things willfully and / or repeatedly, of course that reflects on him as a person and your friends are being obtuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 03:16 AM
5

Want to watch this. As an aside, it reminds me of all the uneducated, redneck folks in my state who think Covid and masks are a hoax and that doctor Fauci is an idiot, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 03:03 AM
17

He's probably back there with his phone beating his meat. Same trick as these scrotes taking their phone into the bathroom to "poop" for hours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 02:55 AM
2

❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 07:33 PM
7

I know this is not funny, but my first reaction when I saw that a third of these losers are not getting laid was to laugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 04:50 PM
4

Omgggg that is so cute
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 04:47 PM
13

Thank you both for this idea, I love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 12:01 AM
11

I am so sorry that happened to you. Spitting on someone is considered an assault, and it's an incredibly demeaning thing for someone to do. I would be angry, too. Sending you well wishes and support.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 11:56 PM
10

I'm so sorry :( There are HVM out there and I am confident you will get to experience it! It's sad to see how low effort guys are now. Even in college, date invitations were lunch or dinner at a cute place. Occasionally it was an invite to a party with dinner beforehand. My college ex was so broke he had holes in his shoes at one point, yet our first date was lunch out and he would save up money to take me to nice places for special occasions. He wasn't completely HV, but that was seen as normal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 08:13 PM
45

Right. Like, great for them that they decided to turn things around. But going to work every day and being a reliable friend/family member, having safe sex and avoiding unintended pregnancy, educating yourself, etc. are all fairly bare minimum requirements. I think some people who get into a prolonged "stuck" phase can at times be suffering from depression or similar. Others may have had financial issues growing up and unable to access higher ed right out of high school. So if they overcame that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 07:57 PM
20

You're right. Women across the board get harassed. But slightly older women might recognize it quicker. I'm 32 and remember a time when dating was still sweet and respectful. Even if the guy turned out LVM/NVM later, they did basic things like asking you for a day/place/time and didn't push for sex on or before the first date. Tried dating apps briefly after my last breakup and felt exhausted, shocked, and disgusted trying to filter past all the obvious losers, predators, and guys who have decid…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 07:45 PM
5

Can you imagine what Reddit would do if a woman wrote this post? She would be ripped to shreds "hE tOlD u He DidN'T WANT a BabY!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 07:33 PM
50

You are right. We need to form organized voting blocs in our respective countries. The Atlanta Spa shootings and the Sarah Everhard case are in the news right now. The gaslighting and victim blaming have already begun. Last year was Breonna Taylor case where the perpetrators went unpunished and has largely been forgotten... and so many others. We need to get a coalition of female lawyers, analysts, researchers, and other experts together to spur awareness and push for legal reform, as well as gr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 07:16 PM
17

I think you're spot on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 05:11 PM
37

You're getting downvoted but I agree with you... I think Harry and Meghan are both LV. Harry has a history of womanizing and dressing as a Nazi (I don't care if he was young... who tf does that?), and people who have worked with Meghan have claimed she mistreated them. That said, Megan was treated unfairly and was a victim of racial bias in the press and allegedly by her new in-laws too. That was problematic and I don't blame them for wanting to distance themselves from that mess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 05:09 PM
3

Yes. I discovered FDS last April during the lockdown. Initially, the lockdown was super stressful due to all the uncertainty about the virus (and I was in-office everyday, working with the public) and whether myself or family members would lose jobs, get sick, etc. Then, lack of social things to do helped me to really focus on improving myself. It gave me space to define my boundaries and to think deeply about my role in different situations (where things went wrong). Mainly, that was an over-fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 04:58 PM
2

The quarantine helped with my depression, too! And that's wonderful you're finding a new career path.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 04:23 PM
3

Love to see this <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 05:26 AM
3

I am in a similar boat (age wise) and can relate. Covid was a nice little break from focusing on dating and getting to stay home, level up, and recharge without FOMO. On the other hand, I am turning 33 at the end of this year and my friends are mostly moving into that "married with kids" phase of life. Every now and then, I get that feeling of being on the outside looking in at other people reaching those milestones while I'm left behind. As for advice- are there any ways you can expand your soc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 05:24 AM
13

She has such an aggressive vibe that this was uncomfortable to watch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 04:10 AM
17

That made me so sad to read, but we have a lot of this type around where I live and your description is all too accurate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 04:08 AM
2

What does this guy know about High Value Men, exactly?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 12:04 AM
7

Good idea- it would have to be password protected/paywalled to keep them from getting in
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 05:10 AM
3

Great suggestions!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 04:22 AM
1

Thank you for the laugh! That would be some musical/album...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 10:42 PM
10

Can I ask, was there a book or resource that was helpful for you starting out?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 02:33 AM
10

This is so sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 08:40 PM
12

Yup. It's stomach turning. They had a really weird relationship. Both his parents were abusive in my opinion, and his mom treated her 2 sons like her little mini-husbands. There were no boundaries with her and my ex was always guilted into doing things her way, helping her with stuff that he shouldn't have to, and he often compared me and his sister in law to his mother. The night he made that comment about his mom's opinion I think I did tell him that I didn't want to see him anymore, and that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 08:24 PM
12

This is the tea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 08:17 PM
12

My ex waited 6 months but I almost dumped him around month 2 due to him pressuring me consistently about it. Like, he was so gross about it I should have just dumped him. He told me his mom asked him if we had done it since "physical intimacy is important" and also that certain of his friends had said he was "crazy" for dating even though he was not having sex with me and were texting him about whether he was "getting it in". * Absolutely disgusting and looking back on it I should have dumped hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 08:12 PM
5

Love to see this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 05:37 PM
23

Female self improvement is wildly different from male self improvement. First, the baseline level for a typical woman includes being hygenic, presentable, showing basic politeness to others, and doing some kind of work (paid or unpaid) that adds value to yourself and your family. Even a woman who is pretty down in the dumps will be doing most of these. For lvm, it seems like all of the above are optional. I meet so many men who are some combination of under/unemployed, poorly dressed, poorly gro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 05:13 AM
46

Amen. It's hard to imagine after having some bad experiences, but I have faith that us ladies on here will find this kind of love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 04:37 AM
7

I’m finding myself more annoyed by men than ever before. Reading FDS for about a year now seems to have cured me of any tendency to “give him a chance”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 08:25 PM
1

Mainly some decorative stuff that I don’t use often / holiday decorations
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 03:29 PM
2

I'm about 80 percent confident that this was written by a man LARP-ing as a woman. Pickmeishas have their own vibe to their writing that can sound male-identified but this writer comes off as male to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 03:44 AM
2

I saw the thing about how she makes $10k and then skimmed down to see the word pregnant and stopped reading. This is a rescue mission.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 11:38 PM
15

The stuff (seemingly most) men say is worthless, if not negative value. I'm starting to kinda hate them. :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 01:43 AM
32

Yep! You hit the nail on the head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 03:57 AM
63

I get that no one wants to be exploited by the gig economy but I'd love to hear them answer this as well. Especially when there are SO many professions that actually do serve and help people. No doubt these professions are challenging, but many are well paid, especially medicine and engineering, and literally save lives. I'd really love to hear this lady explain how working as a surgeon or a civil engineer is LESS noble than cooking your husband dinner and washing his nasty skidmarked panties. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 03:56 AM
38

You know, if her husband did the exact same thing for her, waking up with a mission to serve and protect and provide for his wife and worship the shoes that touch her precious feet... then sure. But we know that in all likelihood, she calls her scrote "captain" and he calls her a "plate" or worse. She's trying to make it a matter of "nobility" when a) that is extremely debatable. I would argue we are put on earth to be responsible for ourselves and any children we may have. Not a grown man. Self…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 03:47 AM
9

I’ve had the “strippers” discussion with past boyfriends and just said many strippers are also prostitutes I don’t date men who patronize prostitutes or go to places where those activities are taking place... or who knowingly socialize with other men who do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 07:22 PM
10

Everything you write here is the truth!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 05:20 PM
8

I think there are quite a few of us here who have these similar experiences. Another FDS user posted about the Crappy Childhood Fairy on Youtube and IMO that channel has some great thoughts on the importance of not settling for LV/inappropriate partners and having written boundaries overcoming fears of abandonment and not isolating out of fear which can feel safer, but can also prevent full healing because we miss out on the inclusion and social needs that all people have. So far it seems pretty…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 04:59 PM
15

Your first paragraph is what "finding someone" was always about for me. And also about feeling included in a community which is harder as a single person. I grew up feeling abandoned by both my parents and not accepted by some of the people in my extended family. My parents were both "present" physically but I have a lot of resentment about my dad's abusive behavior and long periods of abandoning us financially and emotionally and allowing his girlfriends to abuse and alienate us in our own home…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 04:48 PM
39

so, if one of the guys at my work had a cup that said MY DAUGHTER DOES ANAL, I would definitely call HR and probably the police.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 05:06 AM
20

Her confidence is electrifying! It's always great to see people who love and value themselves and have learned not to listen to the hate from LV people and bullies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 02:48 AM
5

the commenter's name was queen something- could we have queen of the pickmeishas here?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 02:37 AM
22

This is honestly such Queen Shit. I have had okay boundaries around sex and most of my friends consider me extremely strict, but your post has shown me the benefits of tightening those up. And also dropping them when they start with the whining.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 02:35 AM
12

OMG. They ruin everything by not being grateful for what they have. He might as well write that he has 20k in cash and he doesn't really like the feel of it and wonders if lighting it on fire or wiping his ass with it would be more fun and exciting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 02:29 AM
73

Yep, interesting how they want to means test for everything and propose drug testing for welfare, and cut aid to the hungry and pre-k for kids in poverty. Yet they “deserve” thousands per month in government benefits. Having worked in the banking world for some time, I can say there are plenty of people with net worths of millions collecting social security. Maybe it should be a need based program like typical Boomers want all the other ones to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 03:31 PM
654

Well, I always wanted a family with a nice guy who could support us while I'm pregnant and after the birth, a flexible work environment that will allow me to excel at work while still being able to parent my child(ren), and most importantly my husband must be a loving, caring, devoted, and faithful husband who is a patient and loving father with valuable life experience to pass on to our kids. I've finally gotten the flexible work thing figured out, but Jared and Kyle in my DMs are addicted to p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 04:51 AM
38

When I lived in Seattle, I actually saw quite a bit of this where 2 women who were sisters or friends would invest in a property together (often a decent sized older home or multifamily dwelling). Growing up my mom's parents lived right next to my grandma's parents, and my mom went over there every day after school while my grandma was working, until her parents or older siblings were home. The nuclear family can't always do it all. My grandmother was a great helper for both of her parents as th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 02:19 AM
13

Your last part is what makes it so hard for me to fully do this. I hear my mom's voice in my head asking, "well what are you going to do for him?" as though I am selfish and only want to receive. This comes not from a libfem ideology but more from the very GenX nicegirl standpoint, I think. Maybe they are one and the same. I've never paid for dates but I often start to feel immense guilt and even shame around receiving without promptly reciprocating in kind. Do you have any tips on how you overc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 05:16 PM
8

This is one of the most lucid and accurate ways of describing the language around gender politics that I have ever seen. Thanks for writing that all out. It’s absolutely social and sexual control, creating confusion through constantly changing, subjective terminology, and it also aims to create division among groups that should be allies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 05:32 PM
3

We used to keep a crow bar and I think a metal baseball bat in the front closet growing up. Someone on here posted that wasp spray or bear spray can be a good alternative to pepper spray, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 02:15 AM
8

Not very nice of him to mess up his mom's back yard like that! Also, he needs to drink more water.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 02:04 AM
15

I have seen "trafficked women" to apply to women in the situations you describe. This provides the connotation of trickery, coercion, or force that takes place in many/most cases where women and girls are being prostituted. The "sex work" term is def problematic for trying to whitewash an industry where coercion, abuse, disease, etc. are the norm but I agree with you we need a term to dignify survivors. I've also seen the term "survivor of the sex industry" used in the past.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 01:59 AM
58

This is a great point. Today, a friend of mine who is pregnant sent me an article about pregnancy and I noticed the article avoided mention of pregnant "women" and instead referred to any person who is pregnant as a 'pregnant person'. I understand this is meant to be inclusive, but it was a bit jarring. "Gender studies" is another good example you noted, as "Women's Studies" has been made politically incorrect and too exclusive. As recently as 10 or 11 years ago, my college offered classes in Wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 01:52 AM
3

I wouldn't want to deal with all that or with parking on the street and slogging through the snow to walk from street parking to his place. Plus, snow plows often throw salt or snow or dirty water on cars parked on the street as they go by. If he had offered to clear a space for you or park the car while you warmed up inside, that would have been reasonable. He didn't apologize or empathize with your frustration so I don't think you overreacted.
/r/askFDS24/02/21 05:11 AM
11

He's also holding it in his fist like a gorilla. Hard pass indeed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 12:01 AM
5

Armie Hammer vibes. No thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 11:58 PM
5

This. You rock, OP! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 03:21 PM
2

I have a meal subscription box and I love making the new recipes and plating them in a fancy way. It’s like a healthier way of ordering takeout or going out for dinner. Also, fancy herbal teas in a pretty cup, some candles, and a perfectly cleaned house is always enjoyable and feels like a little treat. Doing art projects. This year for Christmas I made putz houses which turned out adorable and now I’m learning how to make fancy soap for my Etsy store. This was a small financial investment for s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 03:01 PM
9

My ex was nice to my first cat who was an old tabby (RIP 🐱💝💐) but then when we moved in together and we got a kitten while my family pet stayed with my mom. He was jealous of my attention to the kitten and told me he didn’t like her, he also called her “stupid” and “shitty” and one time she did a hurt or scared meow and he made fun of that. I really started to hate him bc of this. When we broke up he threatened to let her outside the house and also to destroy my paw print from my old boy who had…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:55 PM
14

That is a ridiculous comment and the fact people “loved” it hurts my soul.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:30 PM
2

You’re welcome! This is all stuff I’ve started practicing in the last 2 years. Before that, I was a baby voiced over explainer 😬 Once I started doing these, I basically got addicted to the thrill of watching users step aside. Best wishes ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:27 PM
7

That’s true! I’ll have to experiment and see if it’s my dress style or posture (or maybe just my face) that gives that impression. For example I had guys asking me out at work who I had never flirted with or really talked to... and who weren’t a kind of guy I would be interested in. Think 45+ year old overweight, widowed dad of 4 and I was 30. Guys my age who are decent looking that there’s nothing really “wrong” with but they act awkward and try to get me to chase them. Maybe it’s gonna happen …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:21 PM
1

Great question and I am glad to see your edit, that one of your friends was supportive of your assertiveness in this situation. A couple of things that have worked for me: -Make direct requests of others when you need or want something from them(e.g. "We need this report by end of day Friday." or "Please stop touching my shoulder.") Whatever it is, picture a period at the end of your sentence rather than an a question mark or no punctuation. -If their behavior is inappropriate, use a lower and f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 05:23 AM
8

Your style sounds similar to mine. Love your suggestion of multiple wardrobes. Lately, I am feeling like mine is kind of one-note. Lots of dresses and feminine tops with jeans, and very little else. Thanks for giving me something new to think about!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 05:19 PM
2

Great post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 05:07 PM
23

A question on how your look affects the type of man you attract... So I am doing a little spring cleaning and during this process I’m making some changes to my wardrobe and makeup. Last year during Covid, I took myself out of dating and worked on leveling up in other ways. So now that an end to the quarantine is on the horizon, and I’m looking at starting to meet people again, I’m curious how people here find that their look affects what kind of men are attracted to them? I am conventionally att…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 04:18 PM
2

This is a great explanation... thanks for writing it all out! This has given me a lot to think about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 05:31 AM
2

The name Ravi Zacharias sounds familiar to me... very sad to hear he was abusing women at his church. Unfortunately this is a theme in any context where men hold a cult of personality like that and are able to attain most of the positions of power. These famous pastors typically give me the creeps for that reason... they are still human and still men and in our culture we see everyone from politicians to athletes to religious leaders abuse their power and get away with it. There's a great SVU ep…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 05:10 AM
2

Yep!!
/r/askFDS20/02/21 09:59 PM
21

I never rounded up my height back when I was on OLD but that's actually not the worst idea for ladies who are on there. Also always wear heels for sure! And if they're 5'10 and I look eye to eye with them in 4 inch heels, I know they're not really 5'10 lol!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 09:45 PM
6

I agree with you. Anecdotally, I know several women who met seemingly really good men when they were at their lowest point of life, mental-health wise. One in particular cancelled her first date with her now husband because she was too anxious. And I do agree with you that it's victim blamey to tell people that they're "attracting" negative things or "bad energy" to themselves. Some of the magical thinking/new agey stuff about energy has so much toxic positivity imbued in it. "Negative" emotions…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 09:32 PM
39

Yep, this! Especially on online dating. I'm 5'3 and it's weird how guys not even a head taller than me are claiming to be 5'10" lolol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 09:07 PM
1

Got it. I get the wedding thing- My church requires that both parties be baptized Christians before they would perform a wedding. But only one party has to belong to our actual church. That admittedly makes dating challenging, but personally I don't think I could ask a guy to convert if he didn't actually believe the faith, nor would I convert for anyone. Either way, I wish you both the very best!
/r/askFDS20/02/21 02:47 AM
2

That's interesting that his mom is of a different faith. Has he said why it is so important to him that you would convert? Like would you two getting engaged be conditioned on that, for example. RE: the sex thing... In some ways I get it but it's something you can choose to do or not to do. Dating in 2021 does not HAVE to include sex until marriage if one is very religious. It's that kind of picking and choosing that I would be wary of.
/r/askFDS19/02/21 10:47 PM
15

I would try to gauge specifically what his plans are, what actions he is taking, and also to an idea of what his savings and credit situations look like, etc. Ex. if he earns less than you but has no debt and some savings, and decent credit, and he's talking about wanting to be a good provider and actively seeking to improve his earning potential, I think that's encouraging and positive. If he's starting from 0 with savings in his mid-30s, has tons of debt or bad debt (consumer credit card debt)…
/r/askFDS19/02/21 04:37 AM
3

I think it is a yellow flag. Does this faith have tenets that specify what a woman is supposed to do or be like? Does he talk about his mother or sisters and how they exemplify the faith at all? Do you get the sense that, by asking you to convert, he is asking you to conform to certain outward religious behaviors or change some part of who you are and your routine way of being? Will decisions you two have to make be determined by what is religiously correct, above all other factors? If so, that'…
/r/askFDS19/02/21 12:24 AM
1

Great question and I loved reading everyone's answers. As for me, I live in the US in a mid-sized city. Been WFH since September and though Covid cases are going down in my area, there are still restrictions- so, dating right now would not be wise or nor probably very fun. Gyms are open but due to concerns about the lack of mask-wearing, I've been working out less, so my sister and I are doing a 30 day Peloton app challenge together in March to hold each other accountable. Since the New Year, al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:14 AM
12

So true! Congrats on the move.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 05:11 PM
69

He was out all Valentine’s Day weekend with “a buddy”? Sure. If I knew this lady, I would send her some flowers with a note that says “You are beautiful and you are loved. Leave him.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 04:58 PM
6

Not having a stick up his ass about every dollar is ideal. I am just saying that wanting to only "invest" is no excuse as precious metals and gems can absolutely be a valuable investment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 02:27 PM
29

He is verbally abusive and she should divorce him. He is stupid and lacks problem solving skills- if he was having such a hard time "entertaining" he could have called for delivery food.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 02:24 PM
62

He could get her a rare pink diamond from the Argyle mines or some other rare, investment-grade gem that will appreciate, if the girl wants jewelry and he sees the need to make the piece worthy of being an investment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 04:13 AM
58

-use of clichéd phrases, showing lots of time on social media/the internet and likely a lack of independent thinking. See also: goofy faces in every photo and vocal fry/vocal affectations- again shows a lack of knowing/liking oneself and a propensity to follow the crowd- for me it's a red flag -compares you to their mom - pink flag -comments about "women" in general, especially those that are negative in tone - red flag -uses the word "females" when talking about women - red flag -not setting a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 02:36 AM
3

<3 Hope things continue to go well. You do deserve this!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 02:14 AM
14

Sis if you read this, leave him!! Guys with a poor attitude never really change. They learn to go through the motions, but they are always keeping score. This dude doesn’t even want to change or go through the motions, so the chance he’ll change inwardly is approaching zero. My ex took me out on nice dates and bought me flowers and cards for valentines (nothing extravagant, but I appreciated it and always sent him cards, gifts, and thank you notes for what he gave me). In spirit he was still che…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:43 PM
4

Love reading these posts! Queen energy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:06 PM
6

You have great talent with decorating and I love your dress!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:15 AM
12

From the perspective of someone who has been the "kid" with a dad trying to date... these dads always act like they are so involved with the kids and doing everything for them, but they're out there chasing women and using the kids thing as a cope when relationships don't work. They like to act all heroic about being a parent who stuck around but complain about paying for things or having to put aside doing whatever they want whenever they want to be a parent. Welcome to adulthood, if you can't …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 08:16 PM
1

I absolutely love this, thank you for sharing! We need to see more positive success stories on here like this :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 07:07 PM
2

LOL. Yep... btw my pregnant friend told me her husband brought her McDonald's for Valentine's day. Sad when our satire becomes reality? I love her to death and her husband seems like a decent guy but I am not impressed. Guess that's why I'm a single catlady. :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 07:01 PM
10

Caption will probably be "nuggetssssss" or something stupid. What is it with pickmes and chicken nuggets? I always see posts about "He could propose to me with a chicken nugget" and "I just want someone to eat nuggets with and just vibe" etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 03:43 AM
16

Yep, I read the "man"-o-sphere trying to figure things out and found not only misogyny but racism and antisemitism as well! A lot of these clowns have gone deep into a scary pit of darkness. One of the blogs gave me chills when the commenters started talking about going to the Orthodox Church (I am of Orthodox background) to try and find non-western girls who were supposedly more feminine and naive to fuck and/or turn into tradwives. Then of course the ones who can afford it are turning to sex t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 02:49 AM
15

Encouraged that the dad was livid and called the “friend” a pedo rather than excuse it. Would he do the same if the girl was not his own daughter, I wonder?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 05:27 PM
2

Thanks. Thank God we are all doing okay now. Broken is the right word. We do love our dad and he has done some good things for us... but it's the inconsistency. The knowing he is capable of doing good and watching him choose to do bad and then come back and ask for another chance. There is always lots of drama, excuses, and DARVO tactics- his behavior is very much like that of an alcoholic in many ways. This last year I've reached my breaking point and now struggling with what extent I even want…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 01:30 AM
16

I hope someone reported that comment and I also hope the GF sees this dude's reddit history and dumps his ass like an old tire before he does something terrible to her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 12:49 AM
2

You are right. Pickmes and LVM are two sides of the same coin, and they enable one another and hurt innocent women for their own selfish gain. You deserved support from your friends and family and I am sorry that you didn't get it. "Devil's advocating" about how the OW might not have known isn't supportive or helpful to a woman who has discovered a cheating husband and needs to vent and feel supported.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 12:46 AM
2

That's a good point to bring up. I'm 32 and it's started to happen to me. My mom got divorced from my dad when she was around my age and was ostracized socially as well. This happened at the church she attended, in neighborhood/mommy groups, and even her best friend who was also recently divorced basically married another guy real quick and ditched my mom so fast. Neither of us are the type of person who would ever DREAM of "stealing someone else's man."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 12:38 AM
1

You make a good point about the LVM tactics- even if there are some circumstances where I think it could make sense to use this law, most divorcees would probably just do best to hold the husband accountable and walk away... for the sake of their own peace and well-being. The exception might be where it truly is a case of a third party coming in and attempting to break up the marriage- for example, I have heard of women getting calls/texts from an affair partner or a woman going after a well-to-…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 12:31 AM
4

I think this law could be a useful deterrent for "Other women" who go after married men intentionally Meddling in-laws who intentionally create divisions in a marriage (this happens more than one would think). Honestly the number of comments on here sympathizing with the other woman is surprising Yes, the man is the one who is married and he should be the one primarily held responsible via the divorce and any other legal avenues available to the wife. But that doesn't make the other woman blamel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 12:13 AM
2

I get that- definitely agree that he should provide something of value on par with his income level that shows care and effort to the taste of his intended!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:18 PM
2

If some other kind of fine jewelry is what she wants, then sure. I read your comment as saying if she wants a huge 10 carat rock that he can't afford then she should buy herself one and she could even say he picked it out... If I read that right, then I don't agree with you there but if that works for someone then by all means. IMO being gifted an heirloom stone by your mom/grandma to use for your engagement and designing a ring around that is different than buying a 10 carat diamond for yoursel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:11 PM
64

Did someone report this comment? They are giving this scrote instructions on how to tie up his girlfriend and rape her. WTF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 08:29 PM
4

I agree with you-- she shouldn't buy her own engagement ring and say it's from her fiancé. He should gift her the best ring he can afford. A friend of mine whose family is well-off (not quite generational wealth but her dad is worth many millions and her mom also comes from money) was gifted her grandmother's diamond to use in her engagement ring and she and her fiancé went to pick a setting for it. I would say the setting she got probably costs more than many people's actual engagement rings! B…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 08:02 PM
42

Definitely true. When my grandma died we got her wedding rings. Her original wedding ring was, I believe 18k gold and just a plain band. For an anniversary gift one year, my grandpa got her an 18k gold and platinum diamond band with 5 sparkly diamonds. The bands were worn thin from years of wear. She treasured those rings. She had a beautiful strand of pearls he bought her and a diamond necklace. They were fairly poor people, and they both worked hard, but my grandpa bought her high quality gift…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 07:50 PM
60

"We got married in the park next to the charcoal grills, I wore a burlap sack because the dress doesn't matter, and he presented me with a BSDM collar instead of a ring. I got him a new PS5 because he doesn't want to wear a ring, the skin on his left ring finger is way too sensitive and he has a rare allergy to all metals and silicones. It might not be for everyone, but it was soooo us!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 07:41 PM
11

"He doesn't see it as a gift"?? What does he see it as? Is he going to saw the diamond in half if y'all break up and take his little half with him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 07:37 PM
34

Yes, it is sad. It would be interesting to see statistics about daughters versus sons in these circumstances. The ironic thing is many times these men (including my dad) give themselves pats on the back for being such good dads and family men. Because in comparison to other men who outright abandon their kids, I guess they're good? lol. The delusion and the audacity. My dad was good in some ways but it's only very recently that I have allowed myself to see that the "2 sides" story I believed in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 07:08 PM
65

This is terrible, I can only imagine how your MIL must have felt. My parents are divorced and my dad has had a long history since the divorce of disregarding and neglecting his family, while allowing his girlfriends to treat us horribly, and at times, treating us horribly himself. I am in my early 30s and finally dealing with the trauma caused by him letting us live in borderline poverty while he lived in a big house and went on vacations with his girlfriends, and mocked my mother for working at…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 06:50 PM
7

That's true, she's super cute! I think that's the kind of girl he's hoping will respond to this, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 06:34 PM
29

Zooey Deschanel's male version has entered the chat, apparently?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 07:09 AM
16

Funny story: for many years I said I'm for women's rights, but that I'm not a feminist due to LibFems telling me I can't be one since I'm not promiscuous and don't believe in prostitution due to the human trafficking and rape etc. And of course I do wear makeup and dresses and generally act feminine which is also "bad" and I want to get married to protect my own legal rights which is unfeminist, too! So after all these years of thinking I'm not a feminist, I'm for legal equality, cultural equity…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 02:21 AM
7

Sure!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 12:14 AM
32

The audacity. The lady of this couple looks so pretty and graceful and the dude looks like a distorted gif of the monopoly man or something. He is clearly trying to neg her so she won't leave his ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 12:12 AM
36

Wow, amazing. It is his job but it still took courage. Bless him. I hope the girl is safe and will continue to be so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 12:06 AM
2

Cheers!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 12:02 AM
6

Something that worked as more of a matchmaking or concierge service would be it for me. Men would be required to submit to a background check as well as social media check and maybe even an in-person meet with a representative from the company to be accepted. There would be a cost to this service that may cost a bit more for men as well. They provide detailed information about what they are looking for and women get to do the same. No swiping on profiles- the matchmaker sends the women a few mal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 02:44 AM
5

Such a handsome fellow. From the first pic I get the sense that he's looking into the distance, waiting for HVW-Woodpecker to come check his house building progress for the day and give her approval. Cute.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 06:22 PM
5

Some weird looking hats and some sunglasses? I mean, that's nice he gave her $10 to spend at the Goodwill in the bad part of town.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 06:14 PM
4

Lyrics on point and that voice... wow! She's really talented. I hit play on this video and my cat woke up from her nap to come over and see what was going on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 06:51 AM
10

My favorite part in this message is the "Hmmm..." like he thought so hard before suggesting a walk. You just STUMPED him by revealing that you don't drink coffee.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 06:43 AM
44

This. Sometimes the only way to beat a bully is with a bigger, badder bully. Rape should carry mandatory prison time with no possibility of parole, in a segregated prison for sickos. Second offense and you spend the rest of your life in there. I cannot imagine treating an insect or a houseplant with the amount of willful hatred that a man has to have to rape a woman. ANY person who can do that to another human being is warped and needs to be put separate from the rest of the population for our s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 06:09 AM
5

ohh did he have plumber crack too? I should have known from your description he was an Adidas slides guy LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 06:02 AM
4

I agree with you. When I was in school years ago we didn't have this rule but we did have a rule against passing out the party invitations at school... because that can be hurtful to the kids who see they aren't invited. That is reasonable and good etiquette but inviting the whole class is problematic for many reasons. I also wonder, what about the kids whose families cannot afford to host a whole class of kids? That isn't fair. Nor would I want my (theoretical) child going to sleepovers or outi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 05:47 AM
6

I'm so glad you got away. And you make a great point, I completely agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 05:43 AM
5

You were smart to be "political" rather than confrontational in that circumstance. I believe in standing up for oneself, but my mom always says "don't cut off your nose to spite your face" and in those types of situations I try to step back before reacting and see if telling them off or playing along will be safer and more beneficial. Your story is a great example of this! And I am sure he will find ways to tie his shoelaces to each other and trip over them :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 05:41 AM
4

Reading this has moved me from the "anger" phase of dealing with men and well into "sadness"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 05:37 AM
23

This is a handbook worthy post! Regarding investment: This is anecdotal but I've noticed that women who have something about them that could be considered kind of a "pain in the ass"- be it a restrictive diet, food allergy, or they are just particular in some way that relates to their environment or food- often end up with men who seem very invested in them. I'm wondering if the "PITA" thing repels the low-value and low-effort men, whereas the HV men make efforts to get the woman what she wants …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 04:40 AM
10

You put it so perfectly. Thank you! <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 04:28 AM
2

Thank you! Sending some right back!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 11:22 PM
7

This whole thing makes me want to puke and for some reason my first thought after my puking reaction went away was, "I bet she has an OnlyFans." Then, I see another commenter say she does porn. Please, sis, if you can read this... LEAVE HIM AND GO GET ANY NORMAL JOB YOU CAN FIND.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 11:18 PM
22

"We'll just call it there" ?! No, sir, WE will not be doing anything. But thank YOU for being upfront about the fact that you are a piece of flaming garbage who does not respect women. Good men don't beat and rape their wives. Men who do beat and rape their wives don't raise good, well-mannered, and respectful children. They raise cowering victims, codependents, or narcissistic future abusers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 11:05 PM
4

I completely agree! Deleted OLD quite some time ago. In my experience, it is a bunch of LVMs who are either wife-shopping because their hairlines are receding, or fuccbois looking for hookups. COVID numbers are going down where I live and I think by April, some normal activities can safely resume. Like you, I also prefer to meet people in person. Your story of repelling losers with your yacht photos still made me chuckle!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 11:02 PM
4

Love it! That is a great story. And what a great way to filter out the LVM haters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 10:39 PM
24

Marriage in the good old days wasn't a choice. Let alone staying married. Great g-ma on my dad's side was essentially adopted by another family because her parents couldn't afford to keep her and married off to my great grandfather at age 14 (he was 28). They were in America and he could not speak English yet but she could so she handled all the banking/finance things from what we know of and was very close with her children, all sons. She died in her late 60s due to gallbladder surgery and her …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 10:26 PM
3

Sure- the first example that really bothered me and I ignored: I had a part-time job that later became full time. When I took the part-time role, they said I would be working "occasional Sundays." It very quickly turned into EVERY Sunday, preventing me from being able to go to Church and family events. At one point I expressed a little frustration with not being able to get a Sunday off unless I requested it the prior month in advance, even though the deal was originally 1-2 Sundays/month. His r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 09:56 PM
8

Weird codependent relationship with his mom and family. Noncommittal behavior even when he was still actively pursuing me. Correcting my thoughts/perceptions instead of taking in interest in why my perspective differed from his.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 09:14 PM
25

Sounds to me like the parents of sons - especially those who aborted or killed their daughters at birth - should teach their wee scrotes to start cooking, cleaning, and wiping asses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 08:57 PM
19

She is right. Why would you not want to do something special for your loved ones at any given opportunity? HVM who are into you know that if they don't do it, someone else probably will. LVM are more interested in justifying their need to be a killjoy by citing some supposed conspiracy by chocolatiers and florists. The talk about Valentine's day reminds me of the increasingly popular trope about diamonds and engagement rings being "created by a DeBeers marketing campaign" which apparently makes …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 08:49 PM
9

Icing skills are pretty good. Put them to better use. Bernie would not wait on a ring and neither should you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 08:29 PM
27

Proud of you and all the ladies on here! Congrats on your success. 2020 was a tough year with the pandemic, but like many of my wise, beautiful, and strong sisters on this sub, I worked hard on leveling up including finishing a school program, starting a new career, decorating my apartment, and getting my emotional and mental health to a place I haven't been in years, if ever. My next task this year is to get my fitness back to where I feel great in my favorite clothes, and get my money right to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 07:50 PM
20

That's a cute story about the leggings! And it's true that wearing nice jewelry has the great side-effect of repelling LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 07:25 PM
2

So stunning! I hope to have an emerald cut diamond for my engagement ring or just an amazing self-gift like you have done here. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 07:24 PM
2

So my first boyfriend when I was 19 was an INTJ and also an incorrigible asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:08 PM
20

This is so sick. I want to say that I absolutely hate that this first commenter to the post called it a “scene.” Their brains are so fucking pornified that to them this is just a scene, not something that happened to a real flesh and blood person. And by using that word, the commenter was manipulating the OP as well. The manipulation of language from those in the “kink community” to coerce people into a accepting physical and mental abuse into their intimate life is nothing short of pure evil. A…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:04 PM
8

Haters will lie and exaggerate to discredit and tear people down when they know they cannot measure up. FDS advocates women vetting so that women receive positive benefits from their relationships just like men do everyday however this will force a lot of LVM to level up or face rejection if it catches on. And it will also prompt a lot of Pickmes go take a long, hard look in the mirror. Neither group wants to do that, so it’s easier to call us gold diggers and pretend they hold the moral high gr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:12 PM
29

I read it before (about 10 years ago) and from what I can remember it does fall in line with FDS. The main premise (if I can remember correctly) is that beauty standards are largely contrived to market products and services to women, and that the disembodied women shown in advertising (think when they show just a woman's legs, feet, hands, etc. to advertise a product) is contributing to wide scale dehumanization and objectification of women. There might have been some stuff in there too about wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 01:17 AM
1

I’m sure most women would have no idea these beauty trends come from porn— definitely not something I would have guessed. Now I want to make a list of which ones to avoid lol! That makes perfect sense. Interesting that waist training and wearing corsets has been coming back with a vengeance as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 08:04 PM
3

Yep, that's very true. My mom loves to point out how contouring originated with drag queens and once I realized that I noticed all the other trends that seem inspired by that as well- including exaggerated lip injections, fake lashes, and all the rest. This also allows companies to sell more products such as specific palettes for contour, brows, blush, bronzer (distinct from contour), highlighter, brushes, shadows, lip plumpers, etc. You make a great point about performative, exaggerated feminin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 07:52 PM
11

I don’t take hormonal birth control due to side effects and I won’t get implants or other more invasive procedures done. I also made clear to previous partner and wanna-be partners that I will not abort an accidental pregnancy. It seems to weed out a lot of loser men who refuse to take responsibility for their role in creating a baby and think the world should revolve around their peepee.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 08:03 PM
5

Love her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 12:08 AM
23

Yep. My mom didn’t date for this reason. 3 daughters. She said she wasn’t going to risk it. We are forever grateful for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 12:02 AM
5

Wow 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 06:26 PM
4

My dads gf has been doing this since they started dating. It made me sick to my stomach and wasn’t totally sure if I was off base in disliking her... She now lives in his house rent free and doesn’t want him to turn in his second leased car because she likes driving it, and doesn’t work, not even on the small business that she supposedly owns! Plenty of men are like that too, claiming to be entrepreneurs when really they are just chronic unemployed looking for the next woman to “support their dr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 04:22 PM
2

I don’t advocate it either! It only works on emotionally immature men who don’t value relationships with women and only want one when a woman says she doesn’t. Little kids will not like a toy or forget about it til they see another kid playing with it, then all of a sudden it’s their favorite toy and they want it back and they absolutely must have it. It’s not about the toy but rather about someone else taking something that is theirs. These men are the same. We don’t want men who function like …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 03:40 PM
4

Reverse psychology
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 03:13 AM
28

I’m sure this phenomenon exists worldwide but I think it’s in large part an American disease. Perception here has been distorted by porn and by mythology about the 1950s “traditional family” - a mythology that I have also fallen prey to in the past. Many of my friends from Europe and parts of Asia are highly educated, extremely beautiful, incredibly feminine, and have successful careers and their own money — and many of them are married to men who don’t seem eager to force them back into the kit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 02:39 PM
159

They realize they can’t control you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 02:22 PM
3

I do not put men in my social media profile pictures, have not done since with my bf in college. It's my personal preference and if pictures of us are posted I don't untag. But I'm not about using social media to establish ownership over a partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 05:38 AM
10

Quit sleeping with him and start transferring money quietly and slowly to an external account for your lawyers bills, baby. That is the only "saving" you need to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 05:20 AM
50

Yessss!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 09:30 PM
0

Love your response. Mic drop!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 09:32 PM
7

I agree with you. My sister and I were talking earlier about how many dysfunctional **people** there are in the world (she was venting about her work and wondering if switching jobs is a good idea). The wonderful relationships I have with friends and family did not come overnight and a relationship with a HVM is the same. Not to mention that when looking for a dating partner, we aren't just looking for companionship and social inclusion like we are with our friends- we are looking for someone wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 09:10 PM
18

Same. I love cooking and don’t mind cleaning but I won’t be establishing a routine where I pick up after a grown man or even my kids. We will pay someone and do maintenance cleaning together not “let Mom do it.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 05:52 PM
10

Lovely
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 05:44 PM
12

These pickmeishas are absolutely demonic they way they descend on any woman who doubts her boyfriend or is rightfully disgusted by this type of behavior. I agree the answers were disgusting and had me feeling sick to my stomach.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 01:22 AM
7

This is so degrading. I would be single forever before I will prostitute myself for $40 and some gas station snacks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 01:14 AM
18

Anything you would be excited to do that is classy and you get to feel like a high value, feminine lady - visit a museum, go to the movies, go to an event like a wine tasting or exhibit of some kind, see the theatre/orchestra/ballet or a concert. I don’t really enjoy sitting across the table for a full dinner with someone who is a stranger to me so something like one of the above where we maybe have a snack or a coffee is okay with me, whereas just a coffee would be low effort and not of interes…
/r/askFDS15/01/21 12:33 AM
28

This made me smile! I’m 32 and would love to get married one day, but FDS has made me feel okay with what my life will be if that never happens... because it will be f r e a k i n g a w e s o m e 😇😇😇👸🏻❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 02:16 AM
31

Lol! They are so suspicious of us!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 05:22 PM
100

The catch is your standards are too high for him to meet them with his stupid response!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 05:12 PM
3

This is so beautiful. God bless him. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 05:17 AM
2

Completely agree
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 10:11 PM
5

That is interesting. When I worked in insurance I heard it described as "consideration for the promise to marry" and that dependent where you are, sometimes it matters who broke the promise and sometimes it does not. Thank you for the additional detail. I kept my ring after separating from my ex even though I broke it off. Initially I was going to give it back based on the above. I placed it at the bank for safekeeping until I could get away, and after he called me a c**t and threatened to hurt …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 10:01 PM
26

That facial expression is a red flag for me. When I was on OLD any men making that face or the stupid open mouth smile with two thumbs up would be an automatic swipe left. It reads manic and unstable to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 09:31 PM
21

This made me smile! We really don't care!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 07:19 PM
2

This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 04:35 AM
3

I agree with you completely. Back in 2019 when I was doing online dating, matched with one of these types.... he seemed nice until it was revealed he had spent the last few years traveling around the US and the world and basically not prioritizing a career or creating any sense of permanency and stability. He said he was marriage-minded, but the evidence told me otherwise. He started getting extremely clingy and I quit talking to him. A fuckboy who tried to date me about a year ago unsuccessfull…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 04:35 AM
13

Yes to all of that. I hope they get their just desserts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:34 AM
3

I didn't know about the goddesses of the ancient world but I read somewhere that there was a papal bull in the late 12/early 1300s claiming that witches could transform into cats that prompted the superstition in much of Western Europe. Queen Elizabeth supposedly had a cat killed for entertainment at her coronation party- again I do not recall the details but that is really horrific. Not sure about Eastern Europe or Asia or Africa but I think they have a less negative attitude to cats. Some cult…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:50 AM
30

Yep. Not an ultimatum nor even an argument.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:14 AM
19

I agree. Society gives us a "goal" that we can only achieve if a man agrees. It's hard to unlearn that and to give up the need for a certain kind of inclusion and approval that drives pickme behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 01:55 AM
70

Agree with this. Got engaged after almost two years dating and a couple of big fights about the "concept of marriage". My ex would always say he wanted to "be with me" but that he was against marriage due to his parents' divorce and his dad's subsequent awful relationship. After my grandmother died I was devastated that she wouldn't be able to see me get married and basically told him our relationship wasn't moving forward if we weren't engaged within a certain timeframe, and would in fact be en…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 01:50 AM
89

I hope they win and get even more than 600 million. And I hope those responsible for producing and distributing the videos or for ignoring their pleas to take it down go to jail for a long, long time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 01:28 AM
63

Yep, why is it any surprise that watching violent sexual imagery day after day where women and girls are used and objectified hypnotizes the watcher into making these types of associations in their brains?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 08:29 PM
2

She is beautiful, smart, and cool. I want more women like her as friends! And everything she said was straight FACTS 💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 08:21 PM
82

Do you like him? Honestly every man I’ve who has started out like that with the need for constant communication has turned out to be off in some way and has gotten very angry or just weird when I’ve set boundaries around communication. If the texting is indeed pestering you for constant contact like it sounds from this post, that’s a big red flag.
/r/askFDS07/01/21 07:13 PM
5

He’s seeing someone else and doesn’t want your name popping up in his phone while he’s with her. Sorry but I think that’s the answer. What an asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 03:22 PM
19

This is awesome
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 01:08 AM
23

❤️😭❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 01:06 AM
6

Stunning!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 01:04 AM
6

That’s a good point! I suppose I would try to guess at it, too, to make sure that we would have a stable life and ensure that the man can provide financially. A month into seeing each other I think it’s weird for a man to have looked so deep into the matter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 12:29 AM
11

That’s weird if she told him, but even creepier if he researched this to justify being more cheap with her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 11:01 PM
19

🥂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 08:59 PM
29

His question is stupid. Why does he know how much she makes??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 08:57 PM
1

❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 03:36 PM
12

Sure, we can go on a walk date just like in a Jane Austen novel, if.... he's gonna come express his intentions to my parents, propose to me at our third meeting and then spend a year writing to each other and getting to know each other chaste-ly over tea ;) My father will carefully inquire as to his reputation, net worth, business dealings, real estate holdings, and cash income as well as his practical skills and educational pedigree. We will need to meet his family right away also, to make sure…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 04:43 AM
24

I agree completely with you. This is exactly why I dumped my ex. His family treated me atrociously leading up to the wedding and tried to publicly humiliate me (and him) at my bridal shower. He did little to nothing to stop them in the lead-up and refused to even distance himself for a short while so we could work on things. I told him the day of the bridal shower that without sincere apologies and changed behavior, his father and anyone else who was taking part in his abusive, bullying dynamic …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 04:23 AM
3

Following. I have a beautiful 1.3 carat diamond engagement ring that I want to either sell or repurpose the diamond.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 04:11 AM
6

I agree with you. It's the child's parents' responsibility to care for him. The first step might have been for his mother to choose a father for her child who is not already married to someone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 04:08 AM
9

If the house had then both on the title with joint survivorship, could he possibly will away part of the real estate value without her signature on a quit claim deed or some other document? I'm not sure but I don't believe you can just sign real estate away like that when there is a second owner on the deed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 04:02 AM
31

Yep, I had an ex who would only take sneaky, weird photos of me (ex. with the snapchat filter on) looking silly. We had very few nice photos taken together. I found that very weird, one would think he'd want to show off his beautiful girlfriend/fiancée to everyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 03:44 AM
6

I didn’t know that but that’s interesting!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 08:21 PM
2

Beautiful!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 07:28 PM
65

This was beautifully written. I think your post should be a preamble to the handbook. It’s great for so many of us to be happy single but I think we shouldn’t resign ourselves to an unwanted single status merely because we believe there are no HVM worth committing to. Women are powerful. We are just as smart as men and we physically have the ability to bring life into the world, which gives us a perspective that men do not naturally have. One thing I have realized as I unlearned internalized mis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 04:20 PM
10

Aww. I have a little snuggle monkey too 💕 She’s a Siberian cat. They say eastern breeds get super attached to their owners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 01:22 PM
6

Spent a little bit looking that sub after they posted the ring posts. Lots of pathetic losers projecting their own loneliness and worthlessness onto women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 09:31 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 03:29 PM
2

So beautiful. Congrats!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 02:42 AM
2

This is so beautiful. Congrats!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 02:41 AM
2

Sooo pretty. Congrats!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 02:40 AM
4

Yessss! Congrats! <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 02:34 AM
8

Wow!!! Congrats, mama.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 12:51 AM
23

Thank you for posting this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 10:03 PM
21

This. Quite honesty I would not be surprised if her colon cancer was partly caused by the stress and anxiety of dealing with this awful man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 10:02 PM
13

personal boundaries on fleek... hot girl shit indeed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 09:53 PM
1

❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 05:44 AM
3

Agreed! And we are setting the standard for potential partners as well. Hopefully the ones who cannot make the cut will weed themselves out quicker and quicker. She was a gem! The era in which she lived had its issues which she was obviously subject to but she was a loving and generous woman who held herself to a high standard and taught the same to her family. Always grateful to have known her 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 04:54 AM
2

❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 04:43 AM
2

Aw thank you! I’m typically more of a stacking ring girl myself as well. Although I would not refuse a nice, big diamond!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 04:34 AM
4

Yes that’s true! I was inspired by an article about wearing the good perfume and jewelry and using the good china... it made me think, “I don’t need to wait for special occasions to wear the nice stuff I already have (mainly gifts from my dad/ family) or to get engaged again before having nice rings.” So I started collecting nice quality pieces. My grandmothers both always wore beautiful jewelry and taught me to enjoy having something of value on my person. My maternal grandma loved rings and di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 04:32 AM
5

That’s really beautiful! 🥰😍😍You get it girl!! I left my ex two years ago so this purchase is unrelated to the breakup! I’ve been slowly acquiring some nice pieces in the last few years... it’s super fun to treat yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 03:23 AM
15

Women liking ourselves is too taboo I guess!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 02:39 AM
3

Had a strange realization looking at ig today ... Almost everyone I know who is married settled. I don’t think I know one woman in an LTR that even meets fds standards. This isn’t to say that they are married to terribly “lv” men. But they’re married to men who need to split things 50/50, or who needed 3+ years to propose, or who are physically much less attractive than them, who have different spiritual beliefs, etc. The happier ones maybe compromised in the looks, wealth, or sex department and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 02:29 AM
3

Happy new year!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 02:13 AM
5

🥰😍😍😍😍 All I can say is WOW!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 02:09 AM
4

Hmm it’s up to you but I think that it’s iffy. It sounds like he isn’t in the same page with taking the pandemic precautions seriously. I understand that different areas are at different levels of severity and some places in this world that might not be as much of a concern. But it would be a red flag for me especially if you are self isolating. Working from home doesn’t mean he can disregard the precautions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 11:18 PM
20

Lmao they marked it not safe for work??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 11:08 PM
3

What did he do for NYE? I would say if he had any kind of gathering that was indoors and people outside of his household were there, it would be better to quit seeing him. If you guys live somewhere warm and he like went to the park with his brother or something that’d maybe be a different story. People who think they are special exceptions to every rule don’t make good partners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 11:02 PM
2

Omg you are right! Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 10:23 PM
4

Yes, she was an absolute boss. Her motivational speech to Little Simon sent chills down my spine! 👸🏽 Queen shit right there!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 08:45 PM
37

One technique I have learned is to put the question back on them or to provide a generalized answer until you are able to vet their intentions better. Most men know that most women want marriage and some use sweet talking and implications to try and game ladies into bed faster. It’s almost like a form of love bombing, to imply that they are “marriage minded”. To me saying something general like, “I would imagine most people would be interested in marriage with the right person! I’m interested in…
/r/askFDS01/01/21 08:42 PM
15

I liked the show. It was entertaining, but Daphne did go full on pickme at times which was uncomfortable to watch. I had sympathy for Simon and was rooting for him in a way. By that I mean I was rooting for him to resolve the issues and hurts he had with his father so that he could be happy and enjoy life, rather than being trapped in a vow of revenge that was hurting himself and those he claimed to love. Sadly, that is realistic because many emotionally unavailable people do have deep emotional…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 07:04 PM
25

It absolutely is a manipulation tactic. I learned in my last relationship that “sitting him down” to “communicate” had few if any results. It gave my ex ammunition to claim that I was making him walk on eggshells, that I was too emotional. He would either stare at me in silence and provide no feedback indicating he’d understood or even heard me, and not respond or yell and scream at me and punch his hands together and throw pillows. He accused me of being emotionally abusive for stating my feeli…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 05:53 PM
119

Yes they do! Men are capable of being sweet like this. The ring is beautiful and the little sign with the menu is darling. He’s willing to be vulnerable and show he cares about her, to show enthusiasm. This is how it should be!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 05:32 PM
61

It definitely does. I know women in my own circles who have sidelined their own talents and dreams for a man or because they were pressured by family to be realistic and get a sensible day job and settle down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 05:29 PM
20

Great advice. Having emotions is normal and healthy. So many of us are shamed for crying when we are sad or frustrated, or for expressing anger, no matter how diplomatically or productively.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 05:27 PM
107

This is heartbreaking
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 05:21 PM
6

Thank you!! I love jewelry so I’m happy to answer this question lol! If you want something that looks engagement/bridal to deter unwanted male attention, Pandora actually has some nice sterling and CZ rings. I have one of theirs and another friend of mine known for her fabulous and real jewelry also likes Pandora rings for stacking. Mejuri is another company I’ve heard had nice silver pieces with diamonds or CZ and they also make them in gold. If you want something that’s solid gold and real dia…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 05:18 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 05:03 PM
10

This. I’m Christian and friends with a lot of non Christians. Some Christian men are decent, but men who lead with spirituality and religion tend to be a bit weird or not have good social skills, and many times harbor odd or outdated beliefs. My family’s culture of origin is a bit old school and patriarchal and it took years for me to quit seeking male approval and to separate the cultural aspects from actual religious tenants. These days I keep my spirituality to myself rather than have some ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 04:26 PM
3

I can’t wait to have places to go again! RHR stands for right hand ring. Although I wear rings on both hands anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 04:18 PM
2

Ohh I’ve been there before 😭 Mine went away when I turned 30, it’s rarely any now thank goodness
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 04:09 PM
2

Thank you 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 03:57 PM
2

And it fits my ring fingers so I could wear it on either one! Normally I wear rings on my ring fingers and I have a few to fit the pointer fingers also.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 03:55 PM
3

Ohh thank you!! I also follow Caysie! Her work is gorgeous and she finds the prettiest colored gems. She is definitely on my list of jewelers I want a piece from someday so that is indeed a compliment!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 03:54 PM
2

💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 03:52 PM
3

Thank you! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 03:46 PM
5

Thank you! I didn’t post company name just because I don’t want to give our fabulous lurkers any hints as to my location but I can PM you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 03:45 PM
5

It fits my ring fingers on either hand. So I can wear it as a rhr or a cocktail ring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 03:44 PM
15

Me too! It was too coincidental that this came up on my IG when I pinned it in 2015 and didn’t know where I could actually buy it, nor did I have the money or the confidence in myself to get my own jewelry. So for me this is a symbol of all the changes and growth in the last 5-6 years 🥂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 03:42 PM
2

Thank you! Happy new year 🎊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 03:39 PM
10

Thank you! My friend got married yesterday in a micro- ceremony so I wanted to be sparkly for it lol! That’s a beautiful idea! And very nice your guy noticed and bought you something to match ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 03:38 PM
3

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 03:34 PM
2

Ohh for nails? That’s so cool!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 03:34 PM
2

Thank you! It’s London blue topaz. And the nails are opi gel polish 💅🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 03:33 PM
2

💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 03:31 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 03:30 PM
9

Thank you 💙
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 06:49 AM
23

It’s new to me too, apparently the different shades have different names like Swiss Blue is a different color. Who knows why!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 06:28 AM
9

And happy new year!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 06:27 AM
72

Thanks so much! I will pm the company name to you! It is a London blue topaz with diamond halo in 18k pink cold. The color is like an aquamarine mixed with sapphire, sort of mermaid-y!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 06:25 AM
52

Thank you! Happy new year!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 06:24 AM
39

Thank you! I’ll try to make a better picture with my nails later on!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 06:23 AM
26

It was a jewelry store I follow on ig that happened to make the same ring I had pinned years ago. So I messaged them to get a quote and then bought it from the store. I can pm you the name!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 06:22 AM
9

Well... strictly speaking, he is the “stay at someone else’s home dad type”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 05:46 AM
5

Wow. I’m sorry that happened to you. Your ex husband is a rapist and that doctor is an enabler.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 04:35 PM
3

Yep. Shoes $120, dress $140, makeup and perfume, hundreds, jewelry thousands, three hours getting ready, and that’s not to mention therapy at 200/hr to deal with childhood trauma and male-induced trauma and apprehension.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 04:33 PM
8

One of my friends was proposed to in the parking lot if a Buffalo Wild Wings or a Texas Roadhouse or something shit where they had their third date. She loves her husband but always seems unhappy. Idk if they split the bill for all the dates but I know they were 50/50 with household bills and she was weirded out and pissy that my my ex paid for everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 04:30 PM
2

Surprise, surprise... pickmeisha cannot spell
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 04:26 PM
2

Completely agree with all of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 11:03 PM
1

Great ring and manicure!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 11:00 PM
8

Lmao. I LOVE this. 👸🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 10:38 PM
29

Saying no doesn’t work, putting up some resistance doesn’t work... this guy is damn lucky she didn’t use physical force to defend herself since that is apparently the only “no” he would understand the first time. Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 10:32 PM
6

That blog made me want to go live on Mars til all these people are arrested :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 10:17 PM
7

I didn’t know that such classes existed but now I want to invest in some as well!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 09:43 PM
3

Congrats!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 09:41 PM
3

Gorgeous!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 05:40 PM
3

What is “real marriage”?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 12:28 AM
8

This. Keep your friends. Stay loyal to the ones that are loyal to you. I have my sisters and three best friends in this world who have been with me through all kinds of ups and downs in life and I for them. Staying close is a priority even as we date, marry, and have children. This 1950s idea of the nuclear family being the end all be all benefits almost nobody. Especially women who become socially isolated and exhausted from giving and caretaking with little to no support system.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 06:52 PM
94

Giving consent one time isn’t giving consent in perpetuity. If you want to enforce the boundaries then don’t be alone with this guy anywhere where things can happen. If he’s being cold then he might be LV and this would have happened regardless of when you slept with him. Your boundaries can’t change someone’s LV behavior they can just help smoke out the LV individuals who just want sex from the ones who are serious about you.
/r/askFDS24/12/20 03:09 PM
6

In my culture of origin in my dad’s side, the husband’s money is the family money and the wife’s money is her money. Doubtless this was a way that daughters could be protected in a time that women had fewer rights. That’s one thing I’ll always be “old school” about. 50/50 will never be fair as long as we are the ones who carry the children and most of the risks associated with relationships. Those risks can be minimized through vetting so that the risk vs. reward makes sense for women. But we st…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 02:34 PM
5

I’ve done it before on 2 occasions, both well deserved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 04:40 AM
3

I agree!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 09:37 PM
34

If he really loved her he’d find that wide, crooked smile endearing and unique and beautiful. That’s what you do when you really love someone, even their “flaws” become halos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 07:03 PM
18

Trying to set up a competition between his prospects and the 35 year old pickmeisha who bought the dumb thing for him, probably 🙄 Also, how is he in “management” and in the military?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 06:51 PM
95

Agree with this and also want to add: Keep your financial moves quiet at least until you have fully vetted a man. There are a lot of men out there who find financially independent women attractive because they themselves are not financially independent, and they want someone to “build with them” or better them. I used to work in investments and the amount of men who have money in their name only, deeds and property in their name only is staggering compared to the number of women I saw with the s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 06:48 PM
45

LOL right, exactly. Most guys are trying their luck on different apps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 05:04 PM
8

You’re not wrong. I’ve experienced this myself, from the kid perspective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 04:07 PM
19

The part where she said she could do things she likes now without being yelled at or made fun of made me cry. I’m so glad she gets some time to enjoy for herself, and that she told you the truth so you can break the cycle. I struggle with this with my own dad. Sometimes he’s amazing and supportive, and sometimes he’s the most emotionally abusive person I’ve ever met. After my parents divorced my mom was extremely depressed and didn’t deal with it well. She slept all day and read novels, includin…
/r/askFDS22/12/20 03:39 PM
59

This. I was on hinge last year. It was just like what I hear about tinder but with more lip service about wanting a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 03:29 PM
4

Nope. Just tell them it’s probably much lower than theirs and leave it at that or just don’t answer. Mine is less than 3 and they still find a way to use against me when I told in the past. No matter what the number is they will find a problem.
/r/askFDS21/12/20 10:34 PM
8

I think you’re totally right about the exceptionalism. Women’s studies in college, yes, and whatever they teach in high school that correlates. Our teachers in HS were very concerned with teaching about women’s “lib” and stuff like birth control and abortion but not so much all the other legal rights we didn’t have and how those were actually gained. Only things that actually connected to having sex were the focus of what we learned about women’s rights in the us, with the exception of the right…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 06:27 PM
14

Congrats and best wishes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 06:04 PM
5

Their house looks cold and sad in the picture
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 06:03 PM
16

The feminism taught in schools is usually of the LibFem variety. Sex work is work and “it’s my choice” type of feminism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 02:59 PM
5

❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 06:09 AM
12

Queen energy on your part not taking that cheap bait!! And not ever talking shit!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 05:50 AM
2

That is good to know! Yes, thank you for your honesty. I know some of the north side neighborhoods are very nice and I’ve heard bad things about the south side in general. So that would take some research. But I do love Chicago and the energy there.
/r/askFDS20/12/20 09:33 PM
1

That’s really great to hear! Do you feel safe living there?
/r/askFDS20/12/20 09:03 PM
1

You’re welcome! Hope you have great success!!
/r/askFDS20/12/20 09:01 PM
3

Also: leverage social media such as facebook and instagram. Another friend I know is a very talented artist. None of us knew it until she started posting her paintings on facebook and then made an ig page for her paintings which is gaining a considerable following. She's also making youtube videos showing her creative process and I think gaining some networking with that. She has a few kids and a new baby, and the social media helps her be able to work when she's available rather than having a 9…
/r/askFDS20/12/20 04:34 PM
3

In addition to Etsy which is a great suggestion- see if local coffee shops or other businesses will display your art for sale. There are a few coffee shops in my area that do this, and the building I used to work in before Covid did this as well. One displays paintings, another does frames and mirrors that are antiques refinished by a local artist. Another coffee place I used to frequent had ceramics that were handmade by the owner. A friend actually found out about an amazing local artist by se…
/r/askFDS20/12/20 04:31 PM
3

Do you have a good lawyer? If not you can search for lawyers by zip code or check with the local bar association for attorneys who practice family law. Having someone who knows the system and how to present the facts of your case, is familiar with the judges that could be hearing it, or can represent you in negotiation/mediation is likely to increase your chances for a favorable outcome.
/r/askFDS20/12/20 04:28 PM
2

I would be curious about this too!
/r/askFDS20/12/20 04:21 PM
1

I went to Chicago in the past and liked it. What are your favorite things about the city? I've only been there 2 days. I'm currently an analyst but I work in the banking/finance industry and my work could translate to another industry if needed.
/r/askFDS20/12/20 04:19 PM
3

That is completely true. Additionally, soldiers and ER doctors can also be women, and they also signed up for their jobs (unless there was an army draft which many people protest and argue against when that does happen). There are also options for career advancement in the army and in medicine. They are specialized and respected trades, not something you would be ashamed to tell your family about. And medicine and national defense are generally in the best interest of society, whereas prostituti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 05:59 AM
6

That's ridiculous. Men have a butthole they can sell, they should have to look at allll their options or risk getting their unemployment benefits cut, too, right? Yet another damaging consequence of the "sex work is work" lie.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 05:56 AM
7

I completely agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 05:26 AM
5

Thank you so much for your suggestion!
/r/askFDS20/12/20 01:03 AM
6

Well said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 10:06 PM
5

LOVE THIS! Way to go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 10:02 PM
26

Yeah I agree with you all as well. This lady is clearly overwhelmed and not feeling appreciated by her family. But it isn't really the kids fault, they have a careless father for a role model and are now witnessing their mom become angry and resentful. Unless taught otherwise, they'll probably just rationalize at is "well mom's just like that."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 10:00 PM
9

Stuff like this put me off of online dating. I broke my engagement and cancelled my wedding at 29, almost 30. I just turned 32, and look much younger than my age between being petite and just decent skincare/eating habits and probably some good genes from my 2 grandmas. Online dating with a "3" instead of a "2" for the first digit of your age has a lot of men making assumptions that you're "husband shopping" and will put up with their bullshit, or that you've "hit the wall" and are only good for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 09:55 PM
40

I used to work in a bank branch and one of the tasks that had to be completed yearly was cleaning out old safe deposit box contents (maybe the box hadn't been paid in years for example, and the customer could not be reached), logging them, and then trying to find the rightful owner or whoever would inherit the contents if the owners had passed. One time we found a letter from a woman who was either divorced or in the process of divorcing. She was writing to her parents that in the event somethin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 09:32 PM
23

Wow. Reading this absolutely gutted me. The levels of abuse that many of our foremothers had to endure is so heartbreaking. This is why I am thankful for my education and ability to work, and will encourage any daughters I have to go even further with their education than I have thus far.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 09:04 PM
13

What is the best strategy for when to introduce boyfriends or dates to your family? I don't recall seeing much about that in the handbook. I've introduced some earlier than others, and normally consider it a red flag if they haven't brought up family intros after a few months (like 3-6 months). That being said I could see the argument for not really treating a guy like it's "serious" until he starts talking marriage. But then I don't get the benefit of being able to vet his family and make sure …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 08:58 PM
56

I feel like the rise of serial monogamy, extended "dating" timelines, and living together long-term without marriage somewhat coincides with the legalization and normalization of divorce. That is to say, marriage does benefit and legally protect both partners, and once women had more freedom to leave the marriage with fewer legal and social consequences, society normalized these other 'steps' so that men can still have relationships where the WOMEN are "committed" and "monogamous" without them h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 08:53 PM
6

Why does the scrote husband know about her daughter's college fund? I hope for the girl's sake that this money is in an UTMA or UCMA fund which has regulations attached to when/how it can be withdrawn. It MUST be used for the benefit of the person it is in trust for. If it isn't in some kind of protected fund, the mom should lie and say it is, and that the money can't be withdrawn for another use other than to benefit the listed beneficiary. Some would disagree but that's my opinion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 06:04 AM
39

Wow, that's so terrible. I'm sorry to hear that (about your friend and her co-actor who died by suicide also). That industry is truly the embodiment of evil to me (not the individual people but the industry). It dehumanizes people, and causes so much pain and suffering, while warping the minds of the consumers. So sad :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 12:39 AM
53

Serious question: how can the male "actors" feel okay about doing this to a person?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 11:57 PM
3

One concern they may have is how to do it in a way that won’t allow the authors identity to be doxxed, which could be pretty risky.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 06:33 PM
5

Wonder if there’s a way to get the manual published as an e book and make it free on Amazon kindle to reach more potential readers
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 05:43 PM
52

It should not be legal to torture people, whether on camera for so called “entertainment” or otherwise. What the porn industry has done is they have normalized torture of women and children to the point where it’s functionally legal. For further reference, see the “rough sex/BDSM gone wrong” defense. Some of the same people watching these horrific videos would tell you that the US is a human rights violator for treatment of people in jail or at Guantanamo bay (we absolutely are). They’d tell you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 04:05 PM
34

Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 03:56 PM
5

Same here! That’s all we can do. It would be interesting to see if there could be an organized movement like with the women’s march to educate women on these issues. I feel like the only women’s issues that are brought up mainstream are abortion, birth control, and occasionally the pay gap. Rape culture as a concept seems to be something the libfems really aren’t talking about except occasionally when a celeb discloses abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 02:17 PM
10

I am so glad you didn't go through with it-- that would be so terrible to have that happen. The article I was reading was about the class action lawsuit (against girlsdoporn I think it's called?) and tying to the recent news about PornHub. The comments about trafficking were basically saying that tricking someone into doing hardcore porn and posting it on an American-based website should not count as trafficking. I couldn't believe the lack of compassion. Plus, that's literally what trafficking …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 03:43 AM
10

Oh I see. I don’t read that but I’m assuming they must be like a sensational / gossip type paper rather than real news?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 02:44 AM
37

Amen. Honestly I think instead of wearing pus$yhats we should organize women going on a sex and companionship strike against basically the vast majority of men, the LV and NV ones. Porn, abuse, lack of empathy, mansplaining, expecting mommy/wife behavior from any woman in their vicinity? It’s all become normalized and we need to collectively blackball these guys from interactions with women before a cultural shift of any importance can take place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 07:36 PM
3

Very wise
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 07:04 PM
1

Love your analogy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 06:51 PM
9

If you do not want to be a father, don’t have sex. Isn’t that what the “deeply religious” tend to preach to women?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 06:50 PM
7

You’re welcome! She’s definitely a smart lady with a lot of personality and experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 06:47 PM
4

This is definitely true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 06:43 PM
63

Completely agree. I was reading the news and us politics board last night and one of the stories I read was about the events with PornHub. A certain commenter mentioned “it’s not as easy for men to get sex” and complained that all the online dating matches he gets as a supposedly attractive man are severely overweight women and bots. Other men commented things about “well it’s porn, what did they expect” in reference to the trafficked women who were hired for vanilla porn or nude photos (suppose…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 06:38 PM
36

They can thank Regan for dismantling the “traditional family” with his policies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 06:26 PM
38

If Joe Biden were to die, Kamala Harris, a woman, would become president. She is our first ever woman VP and she’s also a woman of color.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 06:26 PM
50

Is there a petition out there to fire this guy and make him unhireable like he tried to do to this young lady? If so, I’ll sign.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 06:06 PM
28

This breaks my heart. How is it even journalism to dox someone working in healthcare as an emt for having an OnlyFans. I am not pro only fans but I don’t see how her having one was news and why this was written and allowed to be published.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 06:05 PM
2

Hilarity ensues!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 05:37 AM
2

Ok thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 06:53 PM
1

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 04:06 PM
2

Any part of the country, I'm just curious where other ladies have had the best experience!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 01:48 AM
14

I would say don't even volunteer your number. Make him do that work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 05:50 PM
15

You're so right about this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 05:45 PM
19

I hope that the fact they deleted also leads to a successful class action lawsuit against them. Let them take the millions they've made off of innocent people's suffering and humiliation and pay it out in reparations to those who have been harmed. I also hope that those who viewed or downloaded these videos can be investigated by law enforcement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 05:36 PM
13

So many questions, where to begin? How about with the fact he put those chicken wings on a used newspaper?!?! Does this dude know there is a deadly Coronavirus going around?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 05:00 AM
15

It will get better <3 I promise. Enjoy some high-calorie comfort foods and cozy blankets, comfy pajamas and nice perfume, a favorite show or movie or book, and some spritz like rosewater or something soothing for your face. It also helped me to write down a list of non-negotiable "must-haves" and "can't-stands" and identify where my ex was lacking so I am not tempted to romanticize the past. Stay strong, you can do this <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 04:54 AM
3

The only opportunity she missed was the one to throw them both out in the street in the buff and lock the door behind her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 01:10 AM
6

What cities or areas of the USA and the world have you ladies enjoyed living in the most and found to be most friendly to single women? I'm thinking in terms of safety, quality housing that is affordable for a middle-class person, access to cultural activities and nature, and overall quality of life? Access to safe and reliable public transit and/or highly walkable is also something I'd be interested in. ​ Does anyone have a place they'd recommend visiting or moving to? I moved "back home" almos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 04:09 AM
3

You two haven't been dating long and you are already noticing some red flags. I would continue to be cautious and not invest more in this relationship (emotionally/timewise) if your boyfriend does not start to develop some normal, adult boundaries with his parents. From experience I can tell you the situation is unlikely to change unless he has a real lightbulb moment and decides to make changes himself. I was engaged and broke the relationship off due to my ex's dysfunctional parents and their …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 04:04 AM
9

Good lions!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 03:19 AM
14

Focus on building skills in your career of choice, and developing your own passions and interests. Also on saving money and becoming stable. I'd second others' advice on finding a mentor. Work on your self confidence. Wear clothes that you love and do your hair/makeup/grooming the way you like it. Don't be afraid of making mistakes- everyone does. Everyone's life is different and you're not 'behind' if you don't have a certain degree, house, car, marriage, or kids by a certain age. Taking calcul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 02:48 AM
9

Did anyone else get sick of the constant mention of travel and dogs? I like travel and I like pets... but the travel-obsessed people who make that their whole identity strike me as individuals who are unhappy where they are and see conspicuous consumption as the way to deal with it. I could be wrong. And the dog one for obvious reasons- they know women like dogs and cute animals, so the 'dog dad' persona is used to lure us in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 02:05 AM
2

What. The actual. Fuck?!?!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 09:54 PM
8

The only argument she's presenting is a word salad of clichés: "you can't tar everyone with the same brush" "fits your narrative" "you don't understand" This lady is poster child for PickMe culture, "your brain on porn" and the abysmal state of education in the USA (and probably elsewhere in the world).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 09:42 PM
17

I am so sorry that happened to you. Anyone who could ask the question of what you were wearing is so wrong. 16 is underage, a child, in any circumstances. A 31 year old assailant preying on a 16 year old is an evil predator who deserves punishment, plain and simple, and anyone who would imply otherwise is beyond sick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 08:42 PM
8

This is a great idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 08:37 PM
36

Also about the friends/boyfriend: unfortunately even if they normally would do something, if they get drugged or too drunk too, they may not be able to. When the person did this with me and the family friend, we were by the bar but our party was elsewhere. So I think they thought we were just 2 women there alone and fortunately for us that was not the case.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:52 AM
24

Thank you! I have recovered mentally but it definitely shook my trust in bystanders. This was at a bar in a fancy neighborhood that has live music on the weekends. Lots of families were there. Scary that we need to be on guard literally anywhere and everywhere. It was actually a female friend of the family who was talking to the guy first and he bought us the shots. She also had some bad effects including memory loss. My dad was actually there with all of us and he said there was absolutely noth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:43 AM
64

That must have been so scary! I didn’t confirm this with testing, but I believe I was drugged once while out during the holidays with my family. I collapsed while getting out of the car and have no memory of how I got home, collapsing, or throwing up. If I hadn’t been with my family, who knows what could have happened. I had not had much to drink compared to other times and I’ve never had that reaction to alcohol before where I blacked out and collapsed. A guy bought me a shot when we were all s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:23 AM
111

It sounds like the bartender drugged you 😮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:12 AM
175

A man at my work was arrested after doing this to a young woman. He pretended to be an Uber and sexually assaulted her. Police caught him in the act and he was charged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:10 AM
3

99.99% of the time you hear someone say “be the bigger person” they are gaslighting you. I believe in forgiveness and moving on with life, for our own well being. But this “be the bigger person”/ “do favors for your abuser” stuff is a bridge too far. She should block unless she wants to give away these items. Which it doesn’t sound like she does right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 06:19 AM
35

Goddddd. Change the kids name to yours. And take out a life insurance policy on your loser partner and make sure he adds your child as beneficiary on all of his accounts so that your child is taken care of if something happens to his/her father who is just “not ready” for such legalities. I feel so sad for this woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 06:07 AM
1

Ohhh I shuddered reading this. And then I cringed and gritted my teeth when I read his “date” offers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 06:01 AM
4

I am so glad to hear that ❤️ My mom was a lot like you are and I know it was at least in part due to what she suffered (as a young woman). Her protection/precaution worked and thankfully we grew up relatively safe. She also told us about how when she was younger it was different times and unfortunately that wasn’t always a good thing. She talked to us early about boundaries and we would have felt safe telling her if any adult made us feel uncomfortable. She was also super cautious with the compu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:03 AM
67

For sure, this comment thread has me rethinking a lot of my perceptions of some of my classmates and even some of my own actions and memories. There was a girl I went to college with who was always talking in class about sex and how she lost her virginity in her early teens to her older sister’s boyfriend. She was hypersexual and was often very explicit in describing her encounters. She lied often and cheated on her parters. We were in the same friend group until she told some lies about me when…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 08:35 PM
9

Wow. Sorry to hear your dad treats you like this. And I completely agree with your comment. Men absolutely do this to their own children, regardless of the shit they talk about their “legacy” etc. My dad treats the women he dates while at times borrowing money from us kids and breaking promises to us. It’s taken me a long time to forgive that hurt, even though I am an adult now and even though I love my father. A couple times he’s broken promises to me or to my sister and I’ve gone ahead and rem…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 07:04 PM
6

Amen!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 06:52 PM
66

Indeed! Run, and run fast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 06:45 PM
219

Omg this is so heartbreaking. I’m sure I’ve known some people whose behavior I thought was odd when really it was odd because they were being victimized like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 05:24 PM
35

I’ve been there and had the same feeling. You did the right thing. Internet hugs if you want them. You got this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 02:50 AM
128

Yes, I would be upset with this man who wasted a meal where it was not needed. I have done work with a shelter in the past and they had a limited number of meals each day. With COVID, I’m sure it’s not just the meals but the seating to stay and eat, and additionally there are a lot of hungry people in need of food due to losing their jobs! If this man is frequenting a soup kitchen 5x a week, he’s either extremely food insecure and not in a place to be dating, or he’s taking from those really in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 09:55 PM
18

His finances changed in a week? Wtf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 09:42 PM
6

Love!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 03:29 AM
3

Yesssssss
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 11:35 PM
2

Wow 😢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 07:15 PM
16

This is the truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 01:37 PM
10

Omg, IT ME from 10 years ago hahaha 😣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 05:14 PM
19

I am so sorry that happened. He is a liar and a user and that is on him! Block him and treat yourself extra nice. You deserve someone much better than him!!
/r/askFDS16/11/20 11:14 PM
24

My grandmother had men chasing after her until the day she died at age 89. In the hospital, at the hairdresser, even in church! We don't need them, they need us. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 12:30 AM
6

I do the same thing and it does get easier!
/r/askFDS10/11/20 08:17 PM
25

Let them stick to their porn and video games I guess!
/r/askFDS10/11/20 08:11 PM
14

I agree 100% They want someone who doesn’t expect them to put the effort or put any of their feelings/pride on the line. A last minute dates avoid embarrassment if you have plans but if they get shot down twice that’s too much for their egos to handle. Or they honestly just do not want to date seriously and this is a flag they could be emotionally unavailable/ insecure/etc.
/r/askFDS10/11/20 08:06 PM
21

One of my ex’s friends was like this. He was functionally homeless and spends most of his day trading cryptocurrency and exercising 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 08:01 PM
70

Could be they are looking for low effort/last minute or maybe they think you are not interested in going out/trying to get you to chase them.
/r/askFDS10/11/20 07:50 PM
3

HBD ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 03:10 PM
1

🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 04:18 PM
20

This man should be charged with rape. My religion has a tradition of having the new mother stay home with the baby along with extended family for 40 days and they take care of her. I never really liked that tradition but after seeing this I kind of wonder if the point of secluding the new mother with relatives is to prevent her scrote husband from raping her. There are also taboos and sort of cultural traditions I always thought were weird around having sex while pregnant and oral sex, basically…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 04:13 PM
3

They're asking hoping to hear a Pickmeisha answer about how of course she can cook and she'd love to cook for him, she loves cooking for her man and picking up his dirty socks off the floor and she always looks after her man and fixes him a plate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 10:51 PM
2

Love her sass! What a queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 10:34 PM
7

Small update on a past situation I wrote on here about- a former work-friend who I had gone out with, he kissed me, turned out he had unfinished business with an ex and then I told him I didn't want to take things any further and he ghosted. A few weeks ago or so I found out he was moving to my area with our company. Yesterday he contacted me and said he was in town for the evening as he is preparing to move here and basically started asking me to meet up last minute, when I turned down dinner e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 02:50 AM
10

My ex and his family didn’t even pretend they wanted compromise. They just demanded what they wanted and pushed until I “compromised”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 02:03 PM
3

I can see that too... and honestly in the future if the guy doesn’t bring it up on his own after an appropriate amount of time, I will just leave the relationship. Why Men Love B***hes points out that most men know women want marriage and families so we shouldn’t need to bring that up. My ex was pretty low empathy though and made everything all about him and his needs. He wanted to be with me but felt he didn’t “need” marriage for that, but had too little empathy to understand why that was impor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 04:00 PM
20

They should have banned this sicko from their sub. He is probably getting off on the post-op pictures.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 03:49 PM
12

This man is a stone cold piece of shit asshole. She should take the child and move back near her family support system. His comments are verbally abusive and full of contempt for her. She sounds like a lovely person who can do much better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 03:37 PM
4

Smart- and only fair of her to protect those assets for her descendants. Even when I am happily married one day, I will do this. Even if I trusted my husband and my relationship 10000%, I could still meet an untimely death (God forbid) and in that case I want my children / descendants to have the wealth I've worked for or inherited, not the future Mrs. So-and-so who he might marry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 06:04 PM
3

Of course 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 04:27 PM
12

Yeah. I am not even gonna watch the clip because this sounds too triggering from me. After I broke off my engagement my ex accused me of "forcing him to propose" because I had simply communicated that I would not stay in a relationship long term without marriage, and that I didn't feel comfortable moving in with a man unless I was engaged. Those were MY standards I communicated before we even started dating, back when we were friends. Then after he showed his ass 6 weeks before the wedding and I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 03:14 AM
42

After a year if he isn't talking about marriage, I leave. The proposal should happen sometime between 1 and 2 years. The one exception is my college BF who I started dating at age 20, I stayed with him til I was about 23 but he wasn't specific about future plans so I broke up with him. We do need to stop normalizing the 'indecisive' narrative. If men are not ready for commitment, they should not be dating or they should inform their partners up front that they are only looking for casual relatio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 02:20 AM
7

Great post. As someone who used to work in financial services, I would echo the advice of always have your own money, always know what is going on with the family money, and ideally, have your own trusted financial and legal professionals who can advise you on what is best for you. Another piece I would say is do not co-mingle your inheritance with joint funds, especially if you do inherit a decent amount. Keep that separate for yourself and will it to your children directly, do not mix it in wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 04:20 PM
3

THIS is an amazing comment. Thank you so much for writing this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 04:13 PM
157

Watch all the Pickmeishas' heads explode: "But... I thought you wanted girls who aren't like other girls, who are real and drink beer and eat fries and aren't afraid to eat?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 04:04 PM
10

I'm sorry to say that I agree with the other commenters. A man who would have sex with prostitutes is supporting trafficking and rape, and is a LVM. If it is any comfort, years ago, I was seeing a guy from an Eastern European country where going to prostitutes was somewhat common for the men, and most women are virgins at marriage. I really liked him and we had great chemistry, talked about a lot of things and got pretty close. He confessed that he had gone to a 'professional' for his first sexu…
/r/askFDS17/10/20 03:53 PM
3

This is good advice and this quarantine has allowed me to see how much I enjoy my own company, as well as count my blessings with how many supportive friends and family members I do have. The last 2 years since my breakup with my old fiancé, I have done a lot of things by myself that I was too scared to do as a younger woman, and that feels great. I've travelled, gotten and furnished a new place, obtained more education and a new job, and even bought cookware that I was 'waiting' to buy until I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 03:35 PM
7

Both of my long term relationships have been with STEM men, one also had a big interest in the humanities and I thought he was much easier to get along with. Like for most men, with STEM men, ruling out misogyny, low empathy, insecurity, poor sense of self care/self responsibility is imperative. In my experience a lot of these men are very "book smart" and understand logical concepts well, but they do not think the emotional side, relationships, and collaboration with others is worthwhile someti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 03:15 PM
1

This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 03:41 PM
2

I hate the way she expressed this thought but I do think the stereotype of tradespeople can be misleading. A lot of them own their own businesses and make quite a good living. When I worked in investments one stereotype was that plumbers, electricians, etc. usually had a lot of investible cash and I found that to be true in many, many cases. However, women should not be asked to give up their preferences of what kind of man they'd like to marry. Everyone has different preferences and standards a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 03:40 PM
2

Ditto. 2 guys I have dated in the past for the longest both gained weight during the relationship. One continued to treat me well but the other was inconsistent. The fact that I am very attractive and they were sporting a 'dadbod' didn't make them more thankful for me or treat me better or anything like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 03:32 PM
1

My response would be “*you’re”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 08:16 PM
11

Ummmmmmm if he’s going his own way, why is he worried about “bastard children”????
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 07:37 PM
14

Agree with this x1000. Here are interactions I've had with men in the last week or so: -Guy acquaintance asks me out on date, we have a great time doing socially distant outdoor brunch. The check comes and he doesn't grab it but rather left it there and put his card down. I let him pay and say thank you for lunch, he says we should do this again sometime yet never contacts me. I think he didn't like that I didn't offer to pay for my half and rather let him take the bill. Age 34, never married, t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 09:44 PM
7

AT LEAST one of these dudes is the product of 2 cousins bumping uglies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 08:48 PM
6

I think I know this douche
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 06:51 PM
4

My mom hit my dad once, when they were going through their divorce. Like, actually hit him, hard. It wasn't the right thing to do. His response was to put his arms in front of his face as she was doing that and sort of back away, while not stopping her. Because he is 6'2" and my mom is 5"4 130 lbs. Any 'self defense', even swatting her away, could have done a lot of damage. My dad is not a perfect hvm in many sense, but he taught all of us that a man should NEVER hit you for any reason, should n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 01:07 AM
11

Agree with this 100000% Also: a HVM WANTS to give his best to the woman he loves. That's his orientation in life is to protect and provide for his wife and children. I see the FDS rule about guys paying for things as more about investment and showing a positive form of masculinity, allowing the woman to benefit from her relationship and feel that she is loved and cherished by her man. It's not hoe-ing for a bag and being dependent on a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 12:38 AM
6

Off topic buttt I want that makeup and haircut.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 12:03 AM
6

Pickmeisha wants that field date D.... let her have it! An 'old soul' would know that a man in love strives to impress.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 01:16 AM
14

This is absolutely insane. ​ Edited to add: I hope this sweet baby will rest in peace, and that this man will go to jail for endangering and ultimately ending her life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 01:04 AM
7

This right here is THE TEA.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 12:18 AM
20

Yep, that’s right! Between work and dealing with LVM, I’ve learned to not care about the opinions or hate of those beneath my level. I want to hang out with people who are committed to excellence ONLY, so that I can continue to level up. People who get mad at what they can’t have / won’t work for have low self esteem, and so they pick apart anyone who actually likes them because they need to abuse others to put themselves higher, and because they hate themselves and believe only a stupid/unworth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 02:54 PM
24

Get it, MC! She is the embodiment of a diva and a quality queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 02:22 AM
28

This is sadistic physical abuse. She should divorce him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 09:16 PM
3

😧
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 04:01 PM
22

It would be so nice to meet someone and just see green flags. I am happy on my own and thankful for time to level up my career and life. However I sometimes miss having someone special to be “my person” and talk about life with them. It’s been awhile since someone crossed my path who I really connected with in that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 03:49 PM
5

Trust yourself to recognize red flags and yellow flags and make a promise to yourself to end the relationship when red flags appear. For myself I’ve had a list of 10 must haves and 10 dealbreakers and I read them and cut the guy loose if he has dealbreakers. It’s like a written promise to myself. Natasha Adamo has some good blogs about red flags. Unfortunately we have to give people some trust to get to know them, giving a little more and a little more as they prove themselves. But trusting your…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 03:33 PM
13

I really relate to this and it seems like many other ladies here do, too. I also was raised to have zero boundaries, seek approval and validation, and take responsibility for the feelings of others. Some stubbornness and independence in my personality as well as some teachers, mentors, and relatives saved me from becoming a complete doormat and Pickmeisha in terms of my behaviors with those outside the home... but the desire to please and be picked and validated was still there internally and I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 02:42 PM
40

Eavesdropping and jumping to conclusions man... so unreasonable 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 04:45 AM
102

So where are all the people to tell OP eavesdropping is wrong and no kink shaming and all that shit? Do those people only hang out in r/relationships?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 04:25 AM
5

Pastor Pickme, church is in session! Listen to her extol the virtues of picking up after your man as you would a pet or a small child! Blessed are the pickmes, for ‘at least they have a man’.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 04:22 AM
9

“Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 04:11 AM
9

My friends and I used to screenshot losers profiles back in the day and roast them. Maybe that’s why FDS felt like home. 🤪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 01:15 AM
7

Very true
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 02:45 AM
41

Thank you for writing this. You've perfectly underlined why every serious relationship I have ever been in has been with a guy whose parents were from another country. Now, I'm not married to those guys so the relationships obviously weren't perfect... but I didn't have to teach them to pay on dates, open doors, ask me out, call me, buy me gifts, and the other stuff that is basically relationship hygiene that so many women unfortunately do without. The 2 full-on American guys that I really liked…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 02:10 AM
11

Yep! For any date, I’d say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 06:07 PM
2

Agree! Been there, done that, got the tee shirt and not getting back on the ride 🙌🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 05:35 PM
31

Serious question: where do these fetishes come from? Are men taught to like this stuff from p0rn, or are they born that way, or what? I feel like a healthy man allowed to discover his sexuality and sex at the right age with a real woman (NOT a “girl”) will be turned on by women who look, act, and smell like women. And would be turned off or weirded out by fetish stuff. I remember once my grandmother saying in response to something on TV that the Brazilian wax trend, the increasing tendency towar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 05:33 PM
12

SLAY 🙌🏻💅🏻🧖🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 05:17 PM
3

Love this 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 01:35 PM
24

Amen. Love her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 01:19 PM
16

Women are groomed to believe forcefulness, persistence, and not taking no for an answer = “passion” à la “bodice ripper” romance novel scenes. I wonder if that’s what some of the respondents were thinking of when they answered this question. Additionally, there is the issue of unresolved sexual trauma that other posters have already addressed that could be contributing. Finally, I wouldn’t put it past some extreme pickmes to play the “cool girl” and say yes to this, even in an anonymous survey 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 01:16 PM
5

Agree with this. And I would add... a HVM doesn’t need to be convinced to treat others as though they have worth. That’s a part of him that’s ingrained as habit or practice. He might move along when he realized he isn’t interested in a woman, he might be open that he’s not ready for a relationship if a woman expresses interest and it’s not the right person or time... but he won’t use people and shit all over them, only to reverse course once the woman dishes him up some of his own game.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 01:10 PM
8

Agree... it is worrisome. I think this will end up being about balancing risks with potential reward. For me going out with a guy who is putting in minimal effort is not worth it. If I should happen to meet someone with real potential, I think with appropriate precautions I would be okay meeting on a patio or for a nice picnic and not getting closer til I was sure they haven’t been doing this with others and putting me at risk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 10:19 AM
2

This is effing amazing. Thank you for writing it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 09:02 PM
6

You can do this 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 08:48 PM
36

I sadly have to agree with this. Many of the stories on here bear out the theory that the men rn are lonely and wanting cheap and easy entertainment/ female attention. They have it easy because they can text many women at once and that’s a very low effort way to string along a lot of women, meanwhile those women may be getting emotionally invested. Edited to add: hopefully that’s not the case across the board and there are always some exceptions to the rule. In my area we’ve been on purple and r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 07:24 PM
37

I’m avoiding dating right now and working on myself, at least until cases go down in my area. I have done open air meals with one or two friends who I know are self isolating and being careful, and I have seen my parents. Most HVM will be doing the same. Disregarding public health recommendations has been linked with sociopathic traits by researchers. Pandemic or otherwise, the amount of effort and, to some extent, money that the man puts into the date is important, so I’m not buying the idea th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 07:18 PM
1

I think you're right. Thank you for the reality check :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:11 AM
1

I don't know for sure he's a LVM. We used to work together and became friends, and he went out of his way to help me a lot when I was going through some things at work. One night we had a little too much to drink- not a drink date but we were visiting and catching up as friends- and ended up kissing, he wanted to go further and I said no, after that things were awkward and we just avoided each other. Before that he had always been VERY respectful and professional with me. He lived in another sta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 12:18 AM
3

Struggling this week after someone from my past popped up. I haven't contacted him or anything, but I am conflicted about whether to block or listen to what he has to say. We were talking last year and I put an end to it because he had unfinished business with an ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 05:17 PM
3

I did something like this in the past when I used OLD... except I didn't make the girl look passed out, just the profile descriptions and questions answered I made her a bit trashy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 04:58 PM
5

I'm so sorry that happened to you. And I agree 100% with everything you said... who we have children with is the most important decision we will ever make in our lifetimes (and also whether we will have them).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 03:54 PM
3

Once it became clear to me that men enjoy this act precisely due to the fact that it's degrading, I don't do them anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 02:30 PM
9

Oh, Lord. If anything, I feel like it's the opposite. Most single women I know are EXTREMELY self reliant and independent. They work harder at their jobs than a lot of marrieds because they don't have anyone to fall back on if sh*t hits the fan. Married couples take so many resources from the government in the form of tax breaks and they also to like to make sure they get their money's worth on the taxes they do pay in terms of choosing the best school districts etc. This is nothing against marr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 12:20 AM
37

yaaas. my old boss used to call this 'self gifting' and she highly encouraged ladies to do it (owned a jewelry store).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 12:07 AM
8

Aw, yay queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 12:07 AM
3

Thank you for writing this. I was feeling kind of down on myself today, as I'm about to be 32... while in no hurry to find a guy, sometimes I regretted wasting my 'young attractive years' being dedicated to a guy who ended up not being for me, or being single and shy. What a great reminder that the best years are not behind me by any means :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 11:33 PM
9

Yes, I hate them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 11:16 PM
6

This stuff is so groundbreaking, they're holding it til the 11 o'clock news. The NVM want to make sure the kids are in bed before this is broadcast!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 03:43 PM
45

Panhandling on the corner for male approval. Sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 03:40 PM
5

We’ve all been there
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 04:51 PM
6

😮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 02:51 PM
51

Yes at least they’re honest, I still won’t f*ck them but I respect them slightly more than the liars who are “looking for my future wife” on tinder or outright admitting that how they their hairline is receding, they’re looking to settle down with a nice girl like me 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 02:49 PM
11

You said ALL there is to say on the subject!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 12:35 AM
61

Am I the only one who is sick of this “best friend” crap in this context? I love my best friends and would do anything for them, but I feel like a lover and spouse should be so much deeper.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 09:45 PM
2

This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 04:39 AM
6

Yes!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 03:13 AM
134

Wait. He lost his job. But is too burned out so his wife has to get a second one?? And his own brother says he’s an extra mouth to feed lmao. Good for his brother for not pulling punches. And yes the OP in the post is an asshole and a super scrotatious scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 03:12 AM
9

LOL right. I feel like he has another date lined up and this is such a bad excuse it's almost insulting. Likewise asking to reschedule for an early weekday, WTF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 12:22 AM
15

Hell no, that is a lame excuse. Friend's little brother? He's been tasked? Why can't he say he has plans? That's just me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 12:13 AM
25

I love being a woman even though, yes, we get a crappy lot sometimes. One thing I absolutely love about being a woman is just that feeling of being graceful and free... like wearing a dress walking outside, you stop to pick a flower, you're spontaneous. Feeling able to connect to the earth and animals and the cycles of nature very intimately. This helps our intuition also. I love those moments when I randomly feel really beautiful, or really creative, or really smart because I'm present in the m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 11:42 PM
112

This is so cute. I hope it's real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 11:36 PM
2

So true hahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 11:15 PM
2

He sounds pompous AF!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 11:10 PM
9

Wellll most women don’t want to “date” or even be FWB a married man, especially one in an open marriage with kids. There’s nothing in it for them, no future. Whereas for the wife, she’s offering something that men out there might actually want... sex, companionship, etc without responsibilities! Men assume women think about sex like they do and it leads them to do stupid stuff like this. FDS posts like this have basically led me to the conclusion that men, on the whole, need to learn and practic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 12:58 PM
10

“Cee” appears to be a woman in the photo... PICKMEISHA ALERT! 🚨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 05:25 PM
1

No.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 08:49 PM
3

Love the way you think... I’m hoping for the same kind of thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 08:46 PM
1

I think he should spend on it enough to be a bit of a sacrifice... 3 months salary is a good rule, or as much as he spent on his car.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 08:44 PM
2

Yep we are
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 08:41 PM
4

I always hated her. Even as like, an 11 year old.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 08:38 PM
5

Aww congrats!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 08:29 PM
2

<3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 02:21 AM
1

<3 Love to hear it. Wishing you continued health and joy and happiness!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 02:04 AM
10

Thanks for writing this. I've felt like this, too. Many of us are conditioned to be nice as kids, especially if we grew up with abuse at home or school. Being nice/invisible/perfect is learned behavior that we pick up to avoid being a target. I was bullied really badly at my job last year and felt so disempowered and like I must just be walking around wearing a "Kick Me" sign. Slowly I came to realize that there was something wrong with those people, not me. People who bully and demand don't fol…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 01:23 AM
8

This looks all too familiar to me and strikes me as an attempt to tug at your emotions and further manipulate you. My LVM ex did the same sorry shit when I dumped him, going on and on about what a 'terrible person' he was and how he 'ruined everything'. Yet, not once did he offer to take concrete steps to fix the relationship and regain my trust. And I don't recall him ever apologizing for anything specific that he did, either. It was just a one-man circle jerk boohooing about how damaged he was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 01:16 AM
6

I think it's great he wants to make her feel special and also with the references to her work rather than their relationship, I wonder if it's a work milestone they're celebrating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 08:42 PM
3

In tears reading this. I have the same issue and you put words to the feeling so perfectly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 08:35 PM
5

I think it's okay to say you have court for your case and that it's weighing on your mind right now, if you feel comfortable doing so. Getting into detail about past traumas or trauma dumping is what's usually advised against. If you don't feel comfortable telling him that the court case is coming up then I think that it's also okay to deflect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 08:21 PM
45

This lady has such a bad attitude about her mother having wants, needs, and preferences. She also self contradicts when she says men need to be the alphas but then says they follow women’s lead. Which is it, lady?? “With my mother, everything was a fight. Everything was “No” unless she determined it was appropriate to say yes. If my mother wasn’t the one who made the decision, the decision couldn’t possibly be good. Every so often she would appear to cede to my father’s wishes, but only if she h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 06:35 PM
48

Final boss pickme for sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 06:22 PM
5

And this is also why you don’t propose to men!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 03:56 PM
4

Yessss
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 04:01 PM
43

Indeed! Love this post. This community makes me feel so thankful for likeminded women and HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 06:14 PM
31

Aladdin = fuccboi extraordinaire
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:37 PM
9

Same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:36 PM
2

WHAT A FUCKING BOSS. Agree with what some of the others have posted-- the best "thank you" you can give that girl is to dump the abuser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 05:15 PM
4

Well said. This is handbook worthy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 04:58 PM
5

Savageeeeee 💥🔥💫
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 07:42 PM
31

Her ~boyfriend~ of seven months, a grown ass man, thinks he should inherit over her 8 year old, disabled, flesh-and-blood daughter. NonononononoNO! She should dump this loser in the Hazardous Waste bin where he belongs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 04:51 PM
10

Lots of red flags... I’m team “dump him.” Any relationship requiring this much analysis means it’s triggering your intuition and you’re settling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 05:16 PM
9

This reads like some kind of weird fan fiction and the dude can’t spell for shit. Please, man... go your own way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 05:12 PM
35

Very sweet <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 03:06 AM
4

Yes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 05:37 PM
38

I understand, I’ve actually had similar experiences with my mother’s parents after they died. In one, my grandfather came to tell me he was proud of us and gave me a hug that felt exactly like in person. Right before my grandmother passed I had another dream of him, very vivid like that, and my mother said that she thought that meant that he was coming to help my grandmother and be there for her. I have no doubt your guy will love you forever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 04:53 PM
36

Yes, I have. And it’s infuriating. I dumped him. 💅🏻 They’re so wrapped up in feeling bad for themselves that you are mad at them that they don’t consider the problem or any possible solutions. “Well you could just choose to be happy” is not a solution.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 04:47 PM
76

I’m so very sorry for your loss ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 04:44 PM
15

Amen. Hope I have a daughter one day so I can teach her this when she cuts her teeth. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 04:36 PM
59

Learned this at age 29, wish I learned it at 18 but that’s okay!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 04:24 PM
2

You did the right thing! He sounds shady and rude!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 06:36 PM
1

You did the right thing! He sounds shady and rude!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 06:36 PM
6

I agree. I would not accept a lunch date on a work day. Fancy lunch on a weekend could be fun, though. For a first date, a deli and a walk wouldn’t be my ideal either. It’s too much of a time commitment as well and not relaxing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:17 PM
14

I could see a fancy bistro being a fun lunch date, so if that’s what this is and you don’t think he’s being low-effort, you could say maybe another time, for first dates I prefer dinner?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:08 PM
43

Came here to say this. Just get the child support and enjoy bonding with the new baby.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:01 PM
1

Love it <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 01:15 AM
11

So true
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 06:27 PM
17

To get sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 09:59 PM
5

Me too 💕💅🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:36 PM
19

Quit picking up his calls, Sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:27 PM
18

Right?? The mention of him being married before and therefore not wanting a public ceremony makes me think that there was no actual divorce!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 08:47 PM
152

This dude is still married to someone else or something
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 03:35 PM
8

Let me guess: the "King" is one of those dudes who somehow manages to have multiple chins and no chins at the same time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 11:52 PM
15

It's definitely repulsive. I do have enough backup from management at my place of work that I will just say, "I don't discuss xyz with clients." or in response to some comment they make, "I see." and then turn the subject back to whatever business needs to be accomplished. In a couple of cases I have told customers that I have another appointment coming in at x time and we need to move things along. In a situation where I may be surveyed it's harder to be as direct. There are a few customers no …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 11:14 PM
11

OMG this is like someone was spying on me and my ex. The pictures even kinda look like us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 10:58 PM
12

I feel like a lot of people shame women who don’t want to be Barbara the Builder. I’m 31. If I had married at 23 to a man I’d my own age, that’s one thing. Right now I’m well into the process of building myself. By no means am I wealthy but I have a steady job with a decent income and hopefully a new one soon that’s going to be above average in income. My target industry for the new job would allow me to work from home and parent my children when I have them. I have worked hard, planned, saved, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 05:52 PM
2

Agree, that was exactly my thought. Bitchy was the wrong choice of words. I’m sure he will wonder why I’m not as talkative but that’s on him to figure it out and do better next time with someone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 05:34 PM
2

I guess by that I meant confrontational. Which is not always a bad thing but in this case I think it’s smarter not to. Thank you guys for not standard shaming me! I talked with a friend about this and they were all, “well it could be a sensitive thing to tell someone! Maybe he is just waiting til he knows you better!” I’ll cancel and slow fade/distance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 05:30 PM
3

Agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 05:24 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 04:28 AM
1

I do my own facials with Omorovicza products. I don’t like the idea of someone tugging at my skin or extracting the pores.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 02:59 AM
11

A pretty cute guy I have known for awhile (works in my building) asked for my number last week and asked me out on a date. I gave him my number and we chatted a bit. I already had some reservations knowing that he doesn’t have a great job and doesn’t seem super career minded (I would like someone my equal or better, financially). Today I did some social media stalking and found he is apparently a father which he’s never mentioned. His bio on one of the platforms lists “Dad” as one of his charact…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 02:56 AM
5

You are high value for taking immediate action to protect your child! That is all the proof you need that you are a HVW. You're also losing weight, taking care of your mental health, working, going to school, and parenting your kids. That right there is a SUPERHUMAN amount of effort and strength you are putting into loving yourself and your family and improving your life. We do talk a lot about standards here, and every woman's standards are different. So I'll speak for myself: If I met the male…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 02:32 AM
2

SCROTES SAD 😩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 10:20 PM
6

They all have that tired, dead-eyed look. Like 3 wrinkly ballsacks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 01:40 AM
3

My ex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 01:24 AM
10

She has lacerations and those bruises look like she was in a bad accident. The definition of FDS rescue mission :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 01:01 AM
5

This was devastating to read. The husband and his parents are utter. garbage. How dare they shame this lady who bravely faced down these incredibly harrowing circumstances, managed to survive, and is now grieving? In all honesty, it's unfair to put the "choice" of this on her from an ethical perspective. I don't imagine most medical professionals would be willing to intentionally end the life of a living, breathing, fully developed, healthy, and sentient woman to try to save an unborn baby. I am…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 12:46 AM
10

These pictures hurt me to look at. I literally dumped my ex sitting in the car in the parking lot of a shopping center. That was a low point of my life; I feel for Kim.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 11:58 PM
6

Yep. I learned this lesson after my last breakup a year and a half ago. They know, they just don't care or are unwilling/unable to make the changes you desire. That dude has been blocked for over a year and it made moving on a lot easier. There will never be "closure" in the way we wish it would happen, where they empathize, get it, apologize, whatever. The most effective thing I did to get back at that guy was to calmly and happily pack my stuff. That's when he REALLY did freak out and get the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 01:18 AM
15

So, at 7:01 he says he knows he said 7 and that he'll head there straight from work. By 7:26 he has come up with this fictional account where the time was flexible and his job is inflexible. Even if this guy is a freaking brain surgeon who got stuck in surgery, a decent person would say, "I'm so sorry, something came up at work and I was unable to let you know I'd be late. I feel terrible, and would love the chance to make it up to you. If you don't mind waiting, I can be there in 20 minutes." M…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 05:09 PM
7

Savage AF I love it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 07:38 PM
1

WTF is an ESFP-A? Is it a mis-spelling of the world "Douchebag"?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 08:21 PM
10

Nope, don't do it. Allow him to take you out when he has the money. Invest in yourself, and don't bet on potential.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 07:54 PM
13

Ugh that's so terrible to think about. The post referring to him as a "baller" made me think he is a wealthy famous athlete or something that she could at least make sure her kid is financially supported. She should still get a good lawyer and dump the loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 07:35 PM
36

No, I am not that "mature". I'd be secretly meeting with every shark divorce lawyer in town, and making large monetary gifts to all of my family members from the joint account. Buy a new car, tell the scr0te I want some property in my name only as a "push present", along with some diamonds. Then, once the bb is born, file for divorce. And make sure there's not just child support in place for my baby, but an irrevocable trust as well, assuming this "baller" actually has money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 07:20 PM
3

This is so sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 06:56 PM
35

I think it comes down to socialization. Women, being physically smaller and more vulnerable during pregnancy, were protected from access by the "general public" of males. This is not to idealize the good old days when many things were very, very hard for women. But the idea that not every man should have access to women, socially or sexually, was mainstream. Women had their own spaces and men were not permitted to enter these, and in general women had a different sort of power than they do today…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 06:43 PM
6

If he has no income and she does, he might have been awarded spousal support and/or child support. This dude is the definition of a negative value male :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 04:59 PM
41

The thing to do here is: camera looking at front door and maybe bedroom door. Get evidence of the woman coming and going. Then, lie. Say you know EVERYTHING. And see what he admits to. OR Get video of the woman coming and going and say you went to the police about a home intruder. Some perv who is letting herself in and showering in your shower!! Tell him you've saved the hair as DNA evidence and they are investigating to make an arrest. Probably not as effective confrontation-wise. But funnier …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 01:57 AM
1

Thank you for this post! I think I'm gonna print it out for when I try OLD for real again, if I do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 01:14 AM
12

He's grabbing everything, like a grabby little monkey.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 02:39 AM
2

I think it could... maybe she meant it as a way to seem fun but also filter out guys who are just looking for THAT kind of fun? I haven't personally tried it, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 02:20 AM
5

Amen. Hopefully she hasn’t commingled it with any joint funds. It’s disgusting that he considers taking care of her brother and sister with this inheritance as disrespectful to the aunt, but paying his back child support which he incurred due to gambling debt is not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 07:17 PM
6

Hate the one that shows all the cities they’ve lived in, or the travel flags. Swipe right to get to know me breaks my heart kinda, it’s like a guy version of a PickMe lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 06:17 PM
2

SheraSeven1 says mention things you like doing (preferably things that cost money) and the word “spontaneous.” Has anybody tried it out?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 06:15 PM
10

Yuck
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 05:31 PM
16

It is her inheritance, in most jurisdictions that is not considered marital assets and in any case she’s not the asshole. She should dump the loser and upgrade.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 05:25 PM
18

Yep and until the wedding ring is on our finger, any sexual gratification we render is from the good of our hearts. And after, too. It was and isn’t your right. It is not an obligation. Some men think because they are “nice guys,” women owe them sex and companionship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 05:15 PM
6

Yay! Good for you for cutting him off. I did the same thing when I encountered Mr. I'm Working on My Career. That is a great book by Natalie Lue. Keep up the QUEEN energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 11:27 PM
75

This is very true. I love a truly good hearted, masculine, and caring man. This type of man will make every effort to protect and provide for his family and respect and empathize with the women in his life. The world needs more men like this, and this is the only type of men women should date and commit with. WE are the gatekeepers of sex AND commitment and we're choosing to give out neither to men who are less than worthy. About 5 years ago I spent some time reading the manosphere, trying to fi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 11:15 PM
28

And then yeah, don't have sex with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 10:37 PM
38

"... and don't you think we should get married first? I'd want little Herb to have your last name. Also you should probably know that twins run in my family! I've always hoped for fraternal twins so that I could have a little Herb and Herbette!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 10:37 PM
6

This is really smart
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 06:09 PM
42

Exactly. Nowadays there’s so much you can do if you’re out of a job like drive Uber, why does any guy need a woman to support him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 05:47 PM
10

This. Guys have said things to me like "You have never been rejected, you don't know what it's like" and it's like ummm... I've been not pursued, I've been mistreated, and I HAVE been rejected for the type of relationship I am looking for, in a way, when guys only want sex and don't want to appreciate anything about me as a person other than my physical appearance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 02:56 AM
2

I just signed up, thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 10:25 PM
12

I met a very sweet guy at work (a client) one day who had a little bag with him and he seemed concerned about keeping it safe. Like he didn’t want to put it on the floor next to him. He saw me looking quizzical so he explained. He beamed with pride as he told me he just picked up his girlfriend’s engagement ring and was planning to propose that weekend. He said he was nervous walking around with something like that. He was nice looking and had a good job too. There are good ones out there and he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 05:05 PM
15

Omgggg that’s awful. The ring should always be nice and a bit of a sacrifice IMO. Maybe like their budget for electronics and alcohol combined, at least.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 04:56 PM
14

It really does. Stuff like this is why I am in full support of snooping. Every ex I've had I will admit I looked at their phone and computer browsing history at some point to make sure I wasn't dealing with a psycho... /r/relationships would hate me for that but I honestly feel it's necessary and my first loyalty is to myself and my own safety.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 10:11 PM
31

This guy's comment is the stupidest thing I've read all week. Do these men think we are, like, comic book characters? 16 year old "perpetrators" of prostitution/sex trafficking who "start sex early" like some kind of evil Marvel anti-heroine who gets bitten by a nymphomaniac spider and discovers her "powers" and starts using them for evil? I wish people would say shit this stupid IRL so they could get the public dressing down they deserve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 10:07 PM
7

My ex: refuse to listen to me speak, talk until he wears himself out, get tired of talking and say discussion is over. Me: responds by writing letter My ex: "I'm saddened to hear you think I treat you poorly" Me: [breaks up w/ him for acting disrespectful and allowing his family to breach boundaries over and over again] My ex: "I read an article about narcissism today and YOU are the REAL narcissist!" Me: Rolls eyes, tells him to GTFO of my apartment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 10:02 PM
82

My mother did the same. She said not with three daughters at home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 11:36 PM
9

💯💯💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 05:58 PM
57

Understood! No disrespect to the ladies whatsoever. Also there’s no way to know the OF girls are actually consenting and not being forced so they can GTFO with the “ethical” BS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 05:33 PM
14

What a poorly written Pickmeisha rant. Bet she feels sorry for like, pro athletes who use drugs and crash their cars too. Us normal people just can’t understand the pressure they’re under getting paid millions of dollars to play a game! 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 05:05 PM
167

It is cheating and I would dump him. Same as cam girls or prostitution IMO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 04:55 PM
5

❤️❤️❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 01:33 AM
11

"Know your worth" LOL most guys overvalue themselves like Enron. ​ This is some evil pickme shit right here. Girl, bye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 09:14 PM
5

I think you're totally right. Thank you for this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 09:09 PM
50

You're welcome! It can be hard but in the end they will respect you for it, and you will weed out guys who just want sex, a forever girlfriend, or Mommy2/ free therapist to clean up after them and manage their emotions and mental health for them. Hopefully other ladies can add things I forgot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 08:50 PM
246

A few from Why Men Love B*tches by Sherry Argov Cooking for him Cleaning for him Doing any kind of chores for him Moving in/letting him move in with you Mingling Finances Having children with him Telling him every last thing about yourself Being overly helpful/accommodating, teaching him things, etc. Basically, "wife benefits" are anything that make a man feel like he is a permanent fixture in your life and cannot be replaced, before he has made the commitment to you and actually married you. Do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 08:40 PM
9

Love her! So much confidence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 08:35 PM
6

I love this. Having a rough day and this picked me up <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 08:19 PM
8

I can't imagine how much strength it took to get through that. Proud of you, Queen!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 07:21 PM
129

If roles were reversed, dude would buy his plane tickets and not look back. ​ Take the job, lose the dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 04:02 AM
33

the "opportunity" for a romantic relationship wowww the delusion is strong with this one
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 02:32 AM
4

Exactly, one of those radioactive waste drums will work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 10:24 PM
11

What a Boss!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 09:37 PM
26

Gently tell him to buy a bigger house where he can be a slob in his own bathroom located in its own separate wing, and also gently insist that he should hire a maid to clean up after him if he can't be bothered to clean up after himself. If this does not bring the desired result, kindly and gently bubble wrap him and dispose in the garbage- NOT the recycling. Please note LVMs are not recyclable, biodegradable, or compostable, but may be radioactive. This toxic waste must be treated with utmost c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 09:30 PM
18

He’s warning his potential victims ahead of time so that when he pump and dumps them he can say “well I told you upfront I was a douchebag!” I forget where I read it, but abusers WILL often have these kind of tells, they use it as a way to select victims who may be easier to manipulate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 03:17 PM
6

Yes!! Automatically swiped left on those when I did OLD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 02:46 PM
2

That RPW post literally turns my stomach.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 12:35 AM
98

Khlown Khosmetics
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 11:44 PM
1

One was him contradicting me about little things. I remember actually googling "guy always contradicts me" and "boyfriend argues with me". Example I remember complaining that my boss scheduled me to work almost every Sunday. His response was, "Well, you're making money." I don't know if that was meant to be supportive but I felt it was dismissive- maybe I'd rather be able to see my family/friends or go to Church than make $100 working on Sunday? For me this "yellow" flag would now be a red flag …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 11:15 PM
5

This is spot on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 06:07 PM
2

I just want to say working in a restaurant is not LV! Good for you for cutting off Poor Richard!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 03:47 AM
5

Love!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 01:07 AM
1

Yes!!! Love this <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 12:48 AM
2

Sounds very similar. There was another woman there who was this lady’s friend who has since moved to another office. She didn’t like me because I won’t talk bad about other coworkers and am not racist like she is (I call that out and say it’s not ok and walk away. Also reported to HR these racist remarks and to my knowledge they did nothing). Actively job search and gray rock seems to be the consensus here. Thanks for your feedback!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 09:13 PM
2

Some of my coworkers seem to think they are romantically involved due to the extent of favoritism she receives, and the fact that our boss is an a hole to everyone but her. But she is also very nasty and has been long before he started working here. Maybe the gray rocking you suggest will work til I get a new job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 07:03 PM
2

They’re both a problem for sure. She has worked here longer and glommed onto him when he started. HR reprimanded him in the past for his behavior to me and others but it seems no one will hold her accountable including my boss. You’re right that the only option is probably just hang in there. I’ve tried everything in the book and it might work till they adapt to it. They literally sit in his office and plan stuff out/make up new rules that benefit her only. Regardless of company policies. The re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 06:57 PM
4

I’ve worked a bit with WebDev (coded simple websites), and would be happy to help!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 05:31 PM
2

You are so spot on with everything you wrote. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 12:03 PM
6

That is a good idea. I am currently job searching. Yesterday was really bad. She is supposed to be junior to me but dumps off work she doesn’t want to do on me. We work with clients and she won’t help them and my boss demands that myself or another coworker drop what we are doing to take a new client even if it’s something she should take on in her role. She cherry-picks the ones that will allow her to make more money and we get the time wasters. Anything I say to the effect of I am already busy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 10:16 AM
2

I have a private office, there is a group IM that we get lambasted if we don’t respond to (except her)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 10:13 AM
2

Whatever technique I use stops working because she gets our boss to make up new rules for the rest of us or exceptions for her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 10:12 AM
9

Can anyone help me find a HV way to deal with a manipulative and nasty coworker? I am job searching and networking like the dickens. My coworker has bullied me since almost day 1- I feel stupid saying that as an adult, but it's true. She is extremely manipulative, creates drama to offload her work on others, lies, is constantly in the boss's office whispering, and makes me and others feel like we are walking on eggshells 24/7. How have you guys handled bad coworkers and jerk bosses before? So fa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 04:16 AM
2

Love this ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 09:36 PM
2

Aww
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 12:57 AM
11

Been there, ridden all the rides, and got the tee shirt. :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 12:32 AM
29

Sadly true. I'm tempted to wear a fake e-ring sometimes because I remember how much better I was treated by strangers when I had my real one. Also, women and sometimes men at work are meaner to single women, especially attractive single women... for whatever reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 12:15 AM
24

Yep and many of those men with mothers, sisters and even daughters who they love still watch p0rn, use nasty, misogynistic cuss words, and do all manner of other bad behavior towards women. It seems most men lack the empathy to ask themselves, how would I feel if a man treated my daughter the way I am treating this person right now? And how would that make HER feel??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 12:12 AM
19

LOL yup that's right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 12:07 AM
8

This is such a lovely story. Thank you for sharing. Reminds me of a coworker of mine who met his wife when she was a single mother who had left an abusive marriage. When they met she'd also had cancer once, she's since had it 3 more times. They have since had 3 more children, all daughters. The way he talked about his wife made such an impression on me- just like she was the most amazing thing in this world that had ever happened to him. <3 He told me once the story of how they met and he said h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 12:03 AM
16

Where can I buy one?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 02:40 PM
2

I would agree! He had some HV traits but once the bad stuff started to show, I think overall it makes him LV. Adulting well and being nice to friends is more neutral IMO- you need it to be HV but plenty of LVM have also mastered those basics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 02:30 PM
28

What a gem <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 01:48 AM
48

Sir, you are mentally ill. Please get into therapy for help with your obsessive thoughts. You are also rapidly turning into The Creepy Old Guy at the Bar. Yes, that 23 year old can tell you are undressing her with your eyes and she doesn't find your rehearsed pickup artist bullshit attractive. She wants to flirt and talk with other men who are her own age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 11:03 PM
96

This is just so sad. It is hard not to be floored by the way misogyny and men's general selfishness requires women to be tougher in every single facet of life, just to SURVIVE. We have to be spiritually, mentally, and physically more fit and prepared to either do life alone, or to possibly undergo absolute gut punches like being left by our life partners while ill. Sometimes I wish we were penguins or something, they bond for life and journey to the ocean together. EDIT: deleted extra word.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 10:59 PM
16

I want to say this is such good advice. My ex had a number of high-value traits, but also some low value ones. One of the big things he had going for him is that we are the same religion and that was important to me. In the beginning, we also had good chemistry. Later in the relationship (unfortunately mostly after we got engaged), some yellow flags turned screaming red. Some self-reflection after the relationship ended revealed that I'd always had misgivings but continued to be with my ex becau…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 10:48 PM
57

This guy seems rather dramatic, as scrotes are wont to be. He is so fearful, and the dehumanizing stereotypes of men have him feeling broken... This dude would not survive 48 hours as a woman, if he feels so down and out and depressed by the stereotypes of men. "Not getting it" does not begin to cover it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 10:36 PM
2

This is powerful, amazing, and inspiring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 10:30 PM
3

GO YOU <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 10:22 PM
3

"This will psychologically damage my kids." This loser has me rolling on the floor laughing with this ridiculous cop-out about why he needs to "nuke his marriage." He's doing it for TEH BABIEZ, by God!! Haven't all the mean feminists read the latest scholarly research? The peer-reviewed journal articles stating that it is unhealthy for men to deny their biological needs to f*ck as many women 20 years their junior as possible?? Even more important, though, in this wonderful man and father's eyes,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 09:43 PM
9

Love this... great post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 11:45 PM
5

Ok, Pickmeisha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 10:43 PM
3

I have a messy relationship with mine as well. He’s very assertive and displays narcissistic traits at times. Other times he’s delightful to spend time with. Therapy and boundaries have been the only things that have helped so far. Basically I spend time with him when it’s fun for me and don’t let him guilt me into following his ways of doing things. It helps how that I live an hour from him also. Following.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 06:22 PM
4

😢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 06:17 PM
10

Me too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 06:10 PM
66

My ex now has a tee shirt company where he sells poorly designed tee shirts with vulgar slogans. This is in addition to his day job. So glad we do not share a last name!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 02:53 AM
47

Thank goodness for the friend. This is divorce worthy IMO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 12:21 AM
50

Agreed. I heard somewhere that a man abandoning his children used to be termed “cowardice” and was punishable by death akin to treason and other “unmanly” behaviors. Social proof from other men seems to be the only way to influence male behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 06:43 PM
14

That’s very sweet! Glad one of the good ones found you in this world!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 06:01 PM
62

Oh, man. I feel this so hard. If only I had known this at 23. By 25 it felt like everyone around me was coupled up and the pressure to “find someone” was choking me. My parents are divorced and my only dream since I was a kid was to have a happy marriage and family. At 27, I started dating my ex... relocated and got engaged at 28-29, and dumped him, cancelling my wedding, just days before 30. Thinking about my younger self I just want to give her a hug and tell her to forget about guys for now a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 05:58 PM
16

Well said!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 05:48 PM
24

This is amazing ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 05:40 PM
210

This is one of the most disgusting things I have ever read anywhere in my entire life. Divorce laws and social norms need to punish men like this more, not less. ETA: “Even in her late twenties” 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 03:46 PM
69

How many dates? If 2 months have gone by and they are still regularly updating dating apps, for me personally that is a turn off. In my experience, guys fall pretty hard and fast when they are into you and will start to more aggressively pursue. ​ For others who may still be playing the field as well/building a roster, this may not be a big deal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 03:23 AM
9

Definitely! A lot of women in that GenX space are very 50/50 Bob the Builder and were taught that is how you get a man to appreciate and respect you. Our grandmothers knew the game and knew that men only appreciate what they invest in. My other grandmother was an actress, extremely beautiful, who settled down at 33 with my grandfather who was 34ish, and lived in NYC by herself as a single woman prior to marriage. She told me not to sleep with any man who is not committed (in her mind this meant …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 11:34 PM
16

Yes! This post had me thinking SheraSeven1 thoughts. I'm not for all of her advice but the advice about seeking a man who is stable and can provide and "growing in love", and reserving that unconditional love for your children ONLY is spot-on, IMO. My mom is to this day one of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen or known. She looks like a combination of Monica Bellucci and Marion Cotillard. My dad can be a good person but he can also be an assh*le... he was not a good person to her, he was …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 07:55 PM
11

This is so true, I get the best quality of interactions from men when I'm about 21-23 BMI, whereas when I've been 19 or below, it seems to attract a lot more men who are total losers. I think this is because I am petite and at a smaller BMI my frame can read as "teen" whereas at a healthy but average BMI it reads more as "adult woman." A couple times when I was in a larger BMI, it also seemed like the quality of men and the way I was treated went down. Sad that we have to even consider these thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 07:41 PM
6

Thank you for this. I'm sorry that happened to you and hope you will be feeling better soon. He is indeed LV trash for essentially ghosting you after a 6 month relationship, several months of which sounded like they were difficult and traumatic for you due to illness and the pandemic. You will find someone much better!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 07:32 PM
3

Ew *Blocked*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 07:23 PM
36

Page 14 of the Pickmeisha handbook 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 09:08 PM
13

This is sadly accurate for a number of people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 06:39 PM
6

Yep!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 01:55 AM
2

Right!! 6’0” is tall!! My mom is 5’4” and my dad 6’1” or maybe a bit taller and she barely comes up to his shoulder in their wedding photos
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 01:28 AM
3

LOVE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 12:04 AM
2

This convo was IRL. That was the weird thing to me... he had always been so respectful on text and we never even discussed that much personal stuff, more social and work stuff. Like, idk if he was just drink and lost touch of boundaries because who begs their work friend to f*ck them after a couple of after work drinks?? I left and cut contact with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 12:31 PM
3

You're right :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 02:05 AM
4

Today was such a rollercoaster of emotions for me. I had a networking event in which I had a practice interview with a senior person at my company for a job I've had my sights on for almost a year. He gave me gushing, enthusiastic feedback and told me I should apply for internal roles like this as soon as possible. He offered to be a resource for anything I need, loved my resume and interviewing style, and I came away from that meeting feeling like a million bucks. He told me to even apply for t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 11:06 PM
5

Sorry to hear that :( I hope you find an even better one!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 10:47 PM
1

Destiny is president and CEO of Pickmeishas International.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 10:56 PM
3

That's great advice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 10:48 PM
1

I think he should have disclosed whenever the subject of 'do you have kids' came up. Probably that took place pretty early on. Maybe having a sperm-donor child who he has a relationship with would be a dealbreaker for some women, but probably not for many as long as he's honest about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 10:42 PM
46

Saw this earlier! Read the comments, how ridiculous. One guy said he requests weight and body measurements? Whether I'm skinny, fat, or in between, there's no way I'm sending my weight and measurements over to someone. If that's acceptable then we should be able to see their bank statements, credit score, hairline, d*ck size, and interview their ex girlfriends. My friends and I joke that 5'10" on online dating is code for 5'7" and 6'0" is code for taller than 5'7". Edit: added a word.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 10:25 PM
41

Josh is likely a statutory rapist Josh is weird looking This whole thing is so cringe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 10:14 PM
2

💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 01:31 PM
2

Thanks, Sis! 💞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 01:31 PM
9

Thank you <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 05:49 PM
36

So, a female coworker of mine told me of all the ages, she thinks women are most attractive in their 30s, in terms of physical beauty. She said by this age you know how to dress yourself very well, do your makeup, hopefully have confidence and boundaries, but still look young. IMO "the wall" is fake. Fertility does decline in a woman's 30s for most women, which is something to consider if you want a family. My personal goal is to have a healthy, loving relationship with my husband and children, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 05:42 PM
35

My sister said it very well: "Decent people don't need you to explain what they did wrong. They figure it out on their own and take responsibility." And why would we waste our time trying to change someone who isn't a decent human being?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 04:08 PM
12

I never wanted to leave, and am actually considering a move there within about 5 years. The men were lovely for sure... true about the cops!! I had to cross the boarder again on the way home, because the VAT office on the other side was closed. A gorgeous, tall boarder police let me cross to get the papers filed and come back. On trains I was never without help putting my bag above-- a well dressed man would always approach and ask if I'd like any help. Several men politely asked me to dinner, f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 12:03 PM
12

He looks like a civil war re-enactor in his online dating profile pic. I'd say, bullet dodged. HVM seem to like when women are confident and playful, just like you were on the first reply.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 11:32 AM
50

This is so spot-on. Before Coronavirus, I travelled to Italy and was amazed at how men, young and old, presented themselves there. They were, in general, well-dressed, well-groomed, and polite. As far as their suitability as partners overall is concerned, I have no idea. But it definitely made an impression the way both men and women (as opposed to mostly just women) were making an effort to present themselves well. Here in the US, a well-put together guy is so rare, outside of a few really fash…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 04:16 AM
3

You sound like a nice person- continue working on yourself and know that it is never too late. It sounds like you lead a healthy lifestyle and have self awareness, which is probably at least half the battle to successfully leveling up in life and relationships. 33 is still pretty young and it's common these days for people to not meet someone until they're in their mid 30s or even a little older. One thing I think about when situations have me feeling down is, "If I do a little bit each day, 365…
/r/askFDS13/06/20 04:11 PM
5

This is so sad :( I will be honest, in the past I have dated guys who were not 'good' at gifts. Communicating that gifts were important to me did help in a few cases. However, this due sounds like a pathological cheap-ass if he's buying his GF broken shit from the Goodwill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 02:36 PM
56

This guy is acting like he actively dislikes you. Please block him on all means of contact and never talk to him again. He's only reaching out because he senses that you're beginning to move on. Check out the Baggage Reclaim blog by Natalie Lue as well as her books. This dude is the epitome of what she terms an "assclown" and you deserve so much better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 02:28 PM
210

"I'm not inviting you for a date" = I'm not paying "I'll be happy to meet up for a drink" = We can go dutch instead at a place of my choosing "and listening to your story" = I will show you what a 'good listener' I am, in hopes that getting you to disclose personal details will create a sense of intimacy between us, making it easier for me to push for sex after I was too cheap to even buy you one cocktail. Normally I'm of the block/ghost persuasion, but I like the way you called him out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 02:20 PM
2

Thank you for the encouragement. The not trusting other people is the #1 thing I'm afraid of as well. The other thing I fear is getting in a situation where I don't have control of the car, such as an ice patch or hydroplaning. I will eventually get my license or move to a bigger city again where driving is just not as commonplace. Even then, I will probably choose not to drive in inclement weather or heavy traffic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 01:59 PM
37

Sooo this is what I'd say to this person: none of those things are strictly HIS in a marriage, yet he's using your uterus, which is 100% yours, for reproducing and passing his genes along. I'd say you're offering a lot more than he is in this situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 05:06 AM
4

This is a great comment. Thank you for posting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 04:59 AM
5

I am like you, except a little bit older. In all honesty, unless you live in a big city that is walkable with public transportation or rideshare options, SOME men will consider it a dealbreaker. It can also make it harder for you to control the situation and come and go as you please (such as leaving a date that has gone south). In my case, family drama/money problems prevented me from learning as a teen. When I learned at age 23, my dad often scared me by yelling and just made the whole experie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 04:56 AM
100

Love this. Way to go, Nanas!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 03:56 AM
3

DAMN. Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 02:59 PM
3

I'm not sure if you are kidding but that made me giggle lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 08:40 PM
4

Yes, I love Anna and School of Affluence! I agree that it's important for a man to be able and willing to provide financially for the family... just saying that being a wife does not mean that you are obligated to be the sole caretaker of your home, children, and extended family like so many seem to expect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 08:36 PM
8

I would say no, it's not recommended. I reluctantly lived with my ex while engaged, and I think for some people, that may work. In our case, it was partly affordability/convenience due to living in an overpopulated and expensive city. There was nothing really new I learned about him during that time (about a year) of living together, that I couldn't have found out without living with him. In the happiest relationships I know of, the couple became committed (engaged/married) and set up house toge…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 07:27 PM
8

This is a great post, especially that last paragraph. 100% agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 06:59 PM
9

This is so interesting, thank you for sharing. In my family's culture of origin, the new mother stays with family for 40 days to be taken care of in a similar manner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 06:50 PM
8

That is really sweet <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 06:29 PM
22

Why do men want to watch this stuff? Just the titles are disgusting and scary. I clicked the article posted below and I read the text and once the images started, I had to close it. This stuff they're watching isn't even 'sex' at this point... it's rape, degradation, and torture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 01:44 AM
2

EW!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 12:23 AM
2

That sounds really terrifying!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 12:22 AM
6

That must be scary to find so many men who have a secret they don't want found. I guess it is good that your career serves as a deterrent to some LVM. Through my past job, I got pretty good at searching county records and police reports. I will admit to having checked guys from OLD against the sex offender registry, criminal court records, etc. before going out with them. These are available online for free in many areas. I would not be surprised to find a lot of people have skeletons in the clo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 12:21 AM
2

The seeking outside approval one is something I'm really working on. It's the #1 thing that has caused problems in my life and my therapist has really helped me move past that behavior over the last year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 03:34 PM
3

Same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 03:30 PM
27

I've had guys stalk me to find my social media profiles and message me there when they didn't get a response to messages on online dating. So creepy. One of the reasons I decided to stop online dating for the time being... Be safe!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 04:39 AM
5

Yay!! This was so great to read. Love the success and level up stories!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 04:35 AM
15

Him having the mother call her crying, begging her to abort so that he won't have to pay child support is 1930's Oklahoma level of dusty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 04:26 AM
14

I love Anna. She gives great advice and has amazing style, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 06:03 PM
1

<3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 05:56 PM
4

That's perfect! Love the one step at a time approach. I am also reading about CBT and working on using those techniques to reframe my mentality. Best of luck with coding, it's a great skill to have!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 06:11 PM
9

Think about this: is this man living his dream life right now? This hit close to home for me, not only from the perspective of dating but also with continuing my own level up and creating my dream life for myself. There have definitely been times I didn't play for fear of losing or failing. Thank you for the perspective here!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 05:51 PM
14

This, this, this! Obvious red flags like the ones listed in the post are definitely things we should look out for. But a 3-6 month vetting period is so important, because other, more subtle things will come out during that time. Stability, consistency, emotional maturity, empathy, etc. are not always readily apparent- and some guys appear to have their house in order, but the closets have skeletons and the attic is a mess. My ex was perfect for me on paper- we went to UG together, he graduated i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 05:31 PM
2

Yuck. I feel for you... it sounds like you've tried what most of the other posters have said and that this guy is just a big bully. Do the pros of this job outweigh the cons for you? For me, I need my job right now, so I just set boundaries where possible, but I'm currently job searching as part of my level up. Best of luck and I hope you find something way better one day if that's what you want!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 09:55 PM
2

My boss does this shit, too. I keep things documented in case there's a need to involve court/HR and have started recording on my phone app. I'm in a one party consent state and don't intend to use these recordings for HR purposes but rather to document dates/times/content for my own memory in case I need it. He threatened my job for taking company-approved FMLA and I contacted HR about it and he got his hand slapped. In the past I have told him his tone is unprofessional and it is not okay for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 02:32 PM
4

This guy did a few rude things- not ending the date when you suggested, suggesting drinks, insisting that you pay (multiple times!) for the thing he suggested doing, shoving the check across the table (sounds super aggressive), and kissing you when it sounds like you didn't really want a kiss. I would block his number. From your description it sounds like he's so focused on being "even-steven" rather than putting his best foot forward with you. That would be a no, for me. He sounds like he has a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 01:32 PM
3

so cute <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 05:08 AM
6

"If we can be honest..." sounds like a red flag he's not the most honest. How many pictures has he sent you? Ha. Hope you ditched him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 01:03 AM
3

I commented to try and help her. Apparently she deleted many of her replies with further evidence of his grooming, and then she deleted the post :( I hope she gets away from that guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 12:51 AM
2

^This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 12:50 AM
3

He cheated on her and then went to HER for support?? And now is supposedly upset that she doesn't want to commit to fixing things... he's flipping the situation around to allow himself to be victim. Gross, childish, and manipulative behavior. I hope she has left and starts living her best life, away from this manbaby.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 06:49 PM
3

Love <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 06:10 PM
12

This is very well put. I have seen this multiple times from men trying to get with a woman who is out of their league, physically. Targeting women who are vulnerable in some way is also something I've noticed... I think it gives them confidence knowing they can turn your vulnerabilities into put-downs, if you reject them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 08:26 PM
26

This is so true. My ex paid for a lot of our living expenses after we got engaged, because I left my job and moved across the country with him for his. For example the rent and our groceries. He offered to do this as he had the higher paying job and I was job searching. As time went on, little hints of resentment would come out, for example, he made a big deal in the middle of the grocery store about some probiotics I wanted to get. I got them anyway, but he huffed and puffed. My sister came to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 08:07 PM
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