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Mamma_Midnight Archive

View 1 post and 302 comments by Mamma_Midnight on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
276

MINDSET SHIFTMamma_Midnight/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 02:57 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

I'm sorry but... Are you praising him for TAKING HIS SHOES OFF when he comes in the house? Jesus wept! Toddlers can do that. My dog used to wait at the door to have his feet wiped when it was muddy out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 10:55 AM
2

And can he cook? Is he capable of remembering his relatives birthday? Like the wee dude, I also have a splitting maul & am more than capable of using it - it's not that hard. Plus I can cook, bake, clean, sew, crochet & manage my life/home. I'm a gardener & can do DIY & basic carpentry. I'm capable of turning my hand to almost anything. My Mum moved into a bungalow as she's getting older now: so I've dug all the tree roots out of the garden (& a section of buried wall) by hand & landscaped it. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 12:12 AM
3

Thanks. It turned into a wall of text - I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I seem to waiver between total despair at humanity on one hand, and on the other, hope that humanity will get a grip of this & achieve our full potential as a species. Places like FDS foster hope while the rest of...the internet...fosters despair!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 12:33 AM
8

Another poster said: The solution I see for the problem in Japan with the low birth rates and for the fuure problem in other countries is for a widescale campaign for men to help out more in the home. Thing is... Women don't need men to 'help out' more: we need men to step up & take responsibility for thier lives like grown adults. They're not 'helping out', they're doing thier own damn washing & cleaning like a responsible adult. They're not babysitting thier kid - they're being a parent. Men n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 12:11 AM
3

She also has a twitter account.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 10:21 PM
2

The mods did point her in the direction of AskFDS, but she'd not posted there last time I looked. I hope she comes back too! At least she knows FDS exists, so she might lurk for a while.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 09:08 PM
3

This sub might speak some harsh, difficult to hear, truths sometimes & point out where someone made errors. But it's only so we all can strengthen our boundaries, be more aware, improve our dealings with men & genderally 'do better'. It comes from a place of solidarity & love. Could it be that all the negativity online is perpetuated by men Never! It's not like men fill the real world with death, destruction, violence, threats & negativity is it? Oh wait.... I am seriously humbled by the amount …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 10:31 AM
4

That's the beauty of this sub: the ability to get support, advice & opinions from so many women, all with different perspectives, which means that someone will notice the things we miss ourselves & give us a different view on things. I don't have kids either - but friends do. So I know that when we go out, we always have to be back by a specific time, & you can't change plans last minute.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 02:29 AM
5

She has messaging turned off. She also posted in FDS asking for 'the brutal truth' but her post was removed, however it's not locked so I posted the link to this thread.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 02:03 AM
1

The brutal truth is in the comments of this thread.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 02:01 AM
11

She's paying for the house and he thinks he gets to decide where it is?! He probably also feels entitled to ownership of half of her house too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 01:54 AM
12

Hang on a minute here... Firstly... HE knew there would be a long drive involved. Just like HE knew that he'd need a shower after work & before the date. HE also knew he'd be awake from 3:45am until late. So why not book a room, or pick a more suitable evening for the date, unless he was intending on staying at OPs place from the outset? Secondly... He's apparently a single, full time father of two, who works. That begs the question: Who was watching his kids that night? Why would the sitter be …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 01:45 AM
18

LibFems conflate empowerment & confidence because they're steeped in misogyny & the male gaze. They wear concealer, which means they're conforming to the demands of male sexuality: thus b/c they conform to become sexually appealling, they feel both confident & empowered simulataneously - so they conflate the feelings. LibFems feel empowered by being sexually appealling becuase they view female empowerment only through a male lens. A woman being sexually appealling ONLY feels POWERFUL to a hetero…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 01:09 AM
5

My late partners family had a naming tradition that was at least 5 generations old that preserved 2 surnames & mean that the surname wasn't double barrelled. So...each person got thier own first name, thier own first middle name, plus a second middle name then the surname. Example of how this played out is (names changed): Partner : Ian James Archer Smith Parters father: John Carl Archer Smith Partners grandfather: Andrew Sidney Archer Smith ...and so on. If we did something similar, children co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:55 AM
2

I did it. Regret it. Never again. You go through all the hassle of changing your name when you get married, and then all the hassle of changing it back when you get divorced. If you do further training / get additional qualifications when you're married, you have certificates in your married name so you're stuck with it forever. Changing your name can also impact your career if you're an academic or in an industry where reputation is important. And you lose a piece of yourself somehow: you're no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:30 AM
66

Car exhausts seem to be popular with penis people: Example one - 2015: Man caught on camera having sex with a car exhaust Example two - 2016: Car lover: Man caught having sex with EXHAUST Example three - 2018: Police catch man trying to have sex with car and shoot him with stun gun So...yeah... A man sticking his dick in you really isn't that much of a compliment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:17 AM
7

He doesn't even need internet access or need to be able to use a computer. There are multiple TV programmes on a range of channels that show people how to cook. He literally just needs to...turn the TV on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 12:37 AM
27

Man does work on printer & fails to complete the job properly, so the printer was not working correctly. Woman points out that the printer is not working correctly & asks him to rectify his error. Man tries to pretend the printer not working correctly isn't really a problem. Man then calls the woman 'demanding' for wanting a printer to work correctly. Man then launches a personal attack on the woman about her personal relationship status, future life outcomes & personality. ...all because she wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 12:11 AM
3

I feel the same. When I was thinking of example questions, there were just so many situations that were easy to recall. I'm in the UK and I could easily recall numerous examples from the US, plus a range of examples from across the rest of Europe without any effort at all. There were too many incidents to use all of them as examples - and I'd not even got round to thinking about the nations in South America, the Middle east, Sub-Saharan Africa, Asia & Oceania. It was really depressing. Male sexu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 11:33 PM
13

LVM have no respect for women, boundaries or the truth & they will lie to get what they want. So... Porn questions: I don't ask directly 'do you watch porn?' because it makes it really easy for scrotes to lie & say 'no', then quickly move the conversation on. Instead I prefer open-ended questions that don't indicate my opinions but require more than a single word answer, such as: "What do you think of Pornhub pulling all the unverified content & introducing age & identity verification?" "What's …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 10:22 AM
10

Never been on them - it's eBay with people for 'sale'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 09:03 AM
5

Not surprised you felt disrespected! He clearly indicated that he thinks you have no hobbies, interests, plans or life so you'll be available to amuse him whenever he feels like it, OR that he thinks he's so important / such a catch, you'll drop whatever plans you have to go on a last minute date with someone who has clearly stated he has no interest in you & just wants to use you for amusement when he feels like it. The audacity, entitlement & disrespect is off the charts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 02:06 AM
3

everything you're saying is the highest form of BS I've ever read Says the person who claims to have got a 50% pay rise b/c she broke up with her shitty boyfriend. Who claims to have 'lawyered up' to live with someone & get a dog. Who claims to have a legal contract that entitles her to a share of her boyfriends income. And also claims to have a legal agreement that ensures her ex BF will pay for her pets upkeep. This is total nonsense - it's laughable. 8 months is when we started having sex Not…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 03:11 AM
2

Oh do I exist to validate you? No I don't. And you can give it a rest with your passive aggressive sarcastic crap. And strangely enough, I don't automatically take as gospel truth, every single thing random people on the internet say, especially when what they're saying sounds totally fantastical. Do you think we're gulliable doormats on here who don't question anything? Seriously? And honestly - you claim you got engaged to a man after 8 months dating: how the hell can you tell whether someone …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 12:04 AM
6

Yeah I'm not buying any of it. The whole account seems like fiction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 01:16 AM
8

If you check the post history, she claims they got engaged after being together 8 months & they met on Tinder - but he's a HVM apparently. Plus: "He supports my career as a teacher while he's a very high up manager at international firm; he cuts figures and sheets for hours every evening, so my underprivileged students can interact more with the learning objectives." Er...OK.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 01:14 AM
11

The bit that really makes no sense is that her boss gave her a 50% pay rise because she split up with her BF. What boss does that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 12:54 AM
10

Why would her boss give her a 50% pay rise just because she split up with her boyfriend? This makes no sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 12:53 AM
7

"sex is an important part of a MATURE relationship" He's trying to imply that if you don't have sex you're not mature, you're not a grown up, you're being infantile. As for the rest...yikes dude. I need a shower after watching that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 12:37 AM
8

I just wanna be loved and I can't seem to do self love There are many different types of love: the Ancient Greeks had multiple words for love reflecting the diversity of human relationships. If you're struggling with self love, maybe you could work on developing the other types of love, such as 'philia' (soul connection, family, friend love) which can be more rewarding, fulfilling & enduring than romantic or sexual love. Or develop 'agape' (unconditional, altruistic love) by volunteering with an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 11:57 PM
56

"I can cook" as a way to impress women. Congratulations dude. Top adulting. Can you also dress yourself & wipe your arse?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 11:30 PM
12

There are more options than capitalism or communism. The post is probably more a call to social democracy than communism. Social democracy enables the people to have control over essential public services (water, health, education, public transport, housing, etc) via the government, and we can ensure they are run effeciently & at cost (or with profit reinvested in the public service or other services that benefit the community / country). Social democracy also enables the government to limit the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 11:21 PM
6

But isn't it strange how Vasalgel development just seems to stall? Well...not really - big pharma would lose billions if couples switched to a cheap, single insertion, long term contraceptive, so of course the development of such a contraceptive would stall. The one thing I wonder about Vasalgel though... Could you also use it in falopian tubes as a reversible form of tube tying? It would stop the egg travelling down to the uterus & it'd be re-absorbed (like in tube tying), plus sperm wouldn't b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 10:45 PM
7

"Well...it's the only way I can get them to stop fighting and pissing on the furniture"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 02:40 AM
14

WhY wOn'T tHeY PrOvIdE mE eNtErTaInMeNt aNd SEx? LIfE's SOOOOO hArD!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 02:05 AM
8

Why are these men so....stupid? And they always accuse others of being 'low IQ'. Men buying themselves things in order to impress women, isn't men spending money on women - they're spending money on themselves. And really, they're doing it to gain status & impress other men, not women. Women are not obligated to spend thier money on men, while men spend thier money on themselves. Women aren't impressed with your expensive pointless toys, and honestly, since when have men cared about womens opini…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 01:58 AM
35

And the women he dates are probably working full time too. Despite this, he feels entitled to demand additional emotional & mental labour from these women in order for him to have a dating life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 01:50 AM
50

What he wants is the date, but without the labour, so he's writing a complaint to The Women Of The World to annaounce that he wants them to carry out all the physical & emotional labour required for him to have an interesting & regular dating life. He literally just wants to turn up & everything is done for him. This is actually male entitlement on steriods - he's literally demanding that every woman must be ready to labour to make him happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 01:46 AM
10

Dude is clearly struggling with cognition. Beauty doesn't fade - that's youth. Youth & beauty are not the same thing. She won't 'get prettier' but she won't become uglier either: her features will be the same & it's our features that influence whether we're seen as beautiful or not. He is not an asset - his money is the asset: he can't tell the difference between himself & his bank balance. He is not 'an appreciation asset' - his money is. He's comparing something he OWNS to something she LITERA…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 01:33 AM
23

I guess it's too much to ask expecting them to be able to tell the difference between 'kink shaming' and 'failure to obtain consent shaming' or 'rape shaming' or 'violent & life threatening sexual assault shaming'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 12:47 AM
39

Um.... it does not matter if someone knows women who like that. If one woman doesn't plus she says that then it is violent to continue. That's because you realise that women are individuals. It's also because you realise that individual women do actually know what we like & dislike, & that we don't need to be told these things by some random man. Also it is common sense that you have to ask consent and talk about any act that is not the most basic of the basics, or else ot is rape. Not if you're…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 12:41 AM
7

But that's why they deny we're a racist country - they really think "it's only a joke" or not that serious, or 'just a bit rude' when they say racist shit. So they really do 'deny' they're racist, because to them, it's not racism. They think racism is slavery & jim crow & segregation & apartheid - things that happen in 'other' countries. It's circular thinking: we're not a racist country > they say something racist > it's only a joke > we can have a joke because we're not a racist country > they…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 12:31 AM
22

It's not common - but it's not unheard of. I know a LVM who is now a single father after he got his new GF pregnant. I know that he really wanted a child from our coversations when he was trying to keep me hanging around until a relationship was 'convenient' for him. But I couldn't be arsed with that crap. So he ended up dating her. I met her briefly when she was about 8 months along & I've never met such an obviously unhappy pregnant woman. I was shocked by meeting her - everything about her sc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 11:44 PM
1

I think it was Smith who first pointed this issue out in 2017, possibly in that article. Then she went on the write about it in more depth in the book referenced above. It's amazing that all the authorities responsible for preventing terrorist attacks failed to notice that the terrorists all had a history of DV - blind spots like this are fundamentally dangerous to all of us. ETA: Here's the link to the book if you're interested: Home Grown: How Domestic Violence Turns Men Into Terrorists (2019)…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 11:15 PM
11

Not OP but this is a comment I made a few months ago - the links might be what you're looking for: From UN Women policy brief titled "Misogyny & Violent Extremism: Implications for Preventing Violent Extremism." PDF in English - publication information webpage "Hostile sexist attitudes toward women and support for violence against women are the factors most strongly associated with support for violent extremism based on survey research in four countries in 2018-19... More than any other factor, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:08 AM
15

Second, I couldn't understand how he could sink so low as to lie about being racially abused - to the Police! But I think I get it now. I think that men who harass, verbally abuse and threaten women fully believe that they are entitled to do so. And that whenever a woman challenges this entitlement she is at fault. His entitled male ego explained my failure to submit to his behavior as an act of racism. You're overthinking this. He didn't think it was racism. He lied, he knew he was lying, and h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 01:58 AM
29

He wants her but he knows he can't have her, so he messaged her to tell her that he's rejecting her in an attempt to make himself feel better. He's pretending that the reason they're not dating is because he rejected her (see his list of reasons) instead of the reality that he's got no chance & she's not even thought of him in years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 12:02 AM
26

My ex dumped me 2 weeks after my Dad told me he had cancer & it was serious. My ex said he was ending it because "this is going to be hard on you & you'll need a lot of support & I don't want to do that - it'll be too difficult for me".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 11:52 PM
33

She's become a prop he uses to live out his sexual fantasies. He literally turned her into his very own porn star, directed by his favourite director.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 11:44 PM
13

"Stable" Oh look! A man is calling his ex 'crazy'. How original!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 11:29 PM
11

Ah but you see... She only said words - whereas he 'made the DECISION'. Sad attempt to grasp at power & rewrite history.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 11:27 PM
11

And don't forget "I am disappointed". He used that 3 times - he's clearly drowning in his own patronising, manipulative 'disappointment'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 11:23 PM
73

Test his attitude towards high performing women? Does he have a female employer or supervisor? How does he speak about her? What does he think about having a female boss? Would that be a problem for him? How does he treat / speak about high performing women who are equal to him? What are his opinions on women in the board room or as political leaders?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 10:56 PM
5

My ex had fantastic hearing for the word "cuddle", but anything else that started with "have you done" was ignored. Is he a dog? Dogs often suffer from "selective deafness" - they can hear a crisp packet rustle inside a closed room from 100 metres away, but they can't hear anything you say when you're stood next to them but they can see a ball.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 10:52 PM
41

It's covered by Section 67 of the Sexual Offences Act 2003: (3) A person commits an offence if— (a) he records another person (B) doing a private act, (b) he does so with the intention that he or a third person will, for the purpose of obtaining sexual gratification, look at an image of B doing the act, and (c) he knows that B does not consent to his recording the act with that intention https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/section/67 ETA: the only question on this will be around part (b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 10:23 PM
47

"Do you want to split the bill?" That's a passive aggressive way of saying: "I don't want to pay for your meal, but I don't want to say that outright. In order to get what I want AND save face AND make it your fault, I'll try to embarass you or make you feel awkward by forcing you to publicly make the decision I made privately"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 09:36 PM
8

1821: The most notable & significant characteristic of a woman is the man who is married to her. 2021: The most notable & significant characteristic of a woman is the man who is fucking her. Yey liberal feminism! So much progress! /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 11:22 PM
8

Her own arguments fail the coherency test - one minute she's raving how she's not had a job in 9 years, the next she's on about how she works so hard at writing. Which is it? Does she work or not? As far as I'm aware, writing is a job when you do it for money & publish the work. Nevermind the internalised misogyny....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 09:55 PM
5

11 year olds are able to use punctuation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 11:28 PM
16

It seems they think 'attracted to both men & women' = 'attracted to abolutely everybody on the planet & wants to have sex with everyone'. I'm guessing it's because these LVM will have sex with any woman at all, & they assume others are like them, so they project thier own indiscriminate desperation onto the rest of us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 11:11 PM
28

"you're so hard to shop for. I never know what to give you." Yeah it's really hard to buy a gift for someone when you don't know anything about them because you're simply using them and you don't care about them. He basically doesn't pay attention to her, has no idea what she likes, doesn't bother to remember anything she says or does, doesn't care about making her happy or special or cared for, and he has no interest in her as a person. But yeah...he's a great guy. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 10:06 PM
11

They like to reminisce over thier first motorbike, or that really great car they had 10 years ago. They do it with women too - it's just that you don't talk to your car about how great your last car was, or talk to your motorbike about how much you loved your first bike.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 10:08 PM
8

The Beggars Opera was written in 1728. Then there's Bonnie & Clyde; mods & rockers; The Krays; 'Public Enemy' era outlaws; the Great Train Robbers; Dick Turpin & all the other 'robber heroes' - the list goes on & on & on... Folk music lyrics are peppered with references to highway robbery, murder, etc..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 01:18 AM
13

I'm sorry but... WHAT?! Men have been beating, murdering, raping & stabbing women & each other for centuries. Men weren't all sweetness & light until rap happened. Jack the Ripper? You think he was influenced by violent lyrics & video games? The reality is that these are terrorist incidents & they're perpetuated in the same way as other terrorist incidents: through online radicalisation. It's not lyrics that are causing these men to go out & murder women - it's online forums where i**els gather …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 12:44 AM
6

Men are such doormats. According to thier own words, they have absolutely no control over themselves - all the control is held by women. They claim "a woman made me do it" constantly - aren't they capable of independent thought or dissent or self-determination? Men frequently confess just how hopeless, emotional, obedient & easily influenced they are. Maybe they need to grow some ovaries & cultivate courage, independence & autonomy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 01:36 AM
2

Nope, never put up with that crap - I can't stand people being too close. Pre-pandemic I used to maintain personal space in queues using my bag. Day to day, I carry a small rusksack & it's amazing for forcing people away from me - slinging it from one shoulder to another, & catching them with it in the process, always results in them moving back. Stepping back into people & catching them with my bag, because they're too close also works. Or turning round & catching them with it. I also use the s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 01:24 AM
3

I've known a number of people with eating disorders (of both sexes) - and none of thier disorders were rooted in men (or society) telling them they look fat/need to be thin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 12:14 AM
11

Literally none of the points made in the article are accurate descriptions You could've stopped there; this is the most inaccurate pile of crap I've seen about people with eating disorders. Like... 'there aren't many poor girls with eating disorders - they come from money' - erm what?! I've known two ex-care kids (both sexes) who had eating disorders (from you know...being in care), & a broke working class person with an eating disorder. I've known a male ex-junkie who has an eating disorder, & …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 12:12 AM
15

So basically really want to delete but have this fear of potentially missing out on ‘the one’. You might miss out on "the one" because instead of taking that class or joining that club where you meet him, you're spending your time swiping / talking to / filtering / vetting / dating scrotes from the apps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 12:32 AM
4

I'd love to hear of a strategy that works! Hosepipe? Supersoaker?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 12:16 AM
16

A cabin in the woods...or taking over one of Spains 3,000 abandoned villages to create a womens village.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 11:21 PM
116

I think that's why many think fuck it and turn to sex work instead, because men are that bad at sex and want you to be like a free pornstar. I read an article a couple of years ago on the increase in young women entering prostitution and other sex work. One interviewee said something along the lines of: "Well sex isn't enjoyable is it? So I may as well get something out of it". I was gobsmacked - this young woman had absolutely no idea that a woman could have sex with a man - and enjoy it. Her w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 10:58 PM
7

I had a copper IUD for 2.5 years and found it incredibly troublesome. Almost constant spotting; periods were extremely unpleasant, long & heavy; and I ached nearly all the time - it was exhausting. So I went to get it taken out - turns out that it was embedded in my uterine wall. If you are in constant pain from your IUD, I'd suggest you get it checked out (if you haven't already) as it may have become embedded or be otherwise malpositioned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 10:25 PM
17

Yeah you can. Hairpins are not on the list of prohibited weapons - so it's legal. That said, if you do use it as a weapon, police will question you - but then again they'd do that if you used a pencil, screwdriver, hammer, aerosol spray or anything else that you had in your pocket. You just have to say that you just used what you had to hand because you were in fear of your life. Carrying anything with the intention of using it as a weapon is pretty much illegal - but they gotta prove that you i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 12:05 AM
5

This is also why they share nudes with each other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 01:05 AM
25

Combine this quite astonishing level of self-inflicted male sexual dysfunction with the news that man-made pollution is causing human sperm counts to plummet (while also shrinking thier dicks), and you're left wondering how much longer the species will survive. Well done men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 12:59 AM
15

That'd be sissy porn. There's a sub genre called 'hypno sissy porn' that claims to use hypnosis/subliminal messaging to turn the viewer into a 'sissy'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 12:53 AM
17

To men: cars and women = conspicuous status symbols that can be flashed around in public. Both cars and women are 'toys' - a house might be a status symbol but you can't take a house out in public for all to see. See also yachts and motorbikes. They're both about control and power too - status cars are powerful, fast machines that the driver controls. With women, they feel powerful when they can 'command' a woman to do as they wish - in this case, fucking his friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 12:38 AM
13

I had similar thoughts watching him: what levels of violence and abuse has that dude inflicted on women, for cash?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 12:28 AM
9

He told me not to worry about birth control because ‘he’s got that covered and women shouldn’t be taking drugs for men’ WTF does that mean? He's claiming to have had a vasectomy? Can he prove it? Or does he want unprotected sex and then abandon you to deal with with consequences?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 12:12 AM
30

You're not "making him wait" - that makes it sound like it's something he should be having but you're witholding it. Which is bollocks - sex is supposed to be a mutually pleasurable pair activity that both parties enthusiastically wish to partake in. So you will have sex when you're ready to have sex - not before. If someone else doesn't like that and thinks that you owe them access to your body, then they have no respect for you as a person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 12:01 AM
30

Same. I'm not making anyone "wait for sex" - I'll have sex when I'm good and ready, and if that's not good enough for a dude, he can jog on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 11:55 PM
18

It's entitlement: they feel entitled to the services they can derive from our bodies (sex, cleaning, babies, etc). This mentality is why women who really don't want kids have difficulty accessing sterilisation, & doctors say to them "but what if you get married in future and your husband wants children?". We're just expected to fall into line & prioritise mens wants. It's the clearest demonstration that they don't see women as individuals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 11:46 PM
10

TRIGGER WARNING Man: I'm afraid of another man making me scared and taking my wallet on the street at night Woman: Me too - I'm also afraid of having a hard weapon forced inside my most delicate & initmate area causing long-term psychological damage as well as bruising, bleeding, lacerations, tears, internal injuries, etc (that may require reconstructive surgery to fix), while also potentially giving me a sexually transmitted disease and making me pregnant against my will. I'm afraid that if I d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 01:34 AM
14

Basically the same logic as guys who lie about wanting a relationship to get you into bed and then ghost you right after sex: "if I was honest then you wouldn't give me what I want! I HAVE to lie, you see" Basically: you made me do it. That old chestnut.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 11:48 PM
7

You're getting downvoted and I've had my comment removed because I might've violated reddits hate speech rules by pointing out that our governments' actions are causing British peoples lives to end. Screw Britannia.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 02:20 AM
17

Like France we should do away with them. They don’t serve us, they serve themselves. Hell yeah. I'm up for a revolution. It's not just thier cringe inducing racism & imperialism, but also thier fucking hypocricy - like, they lecture 'the people' on sustainability while flying around in private jets. Or they 'bestow' thier 'patronage' on a charity and then these fucking millionaires encourage poor people to give money to the charity: why don't they give the charity some of thier MILLIONS instead …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:36 AM
34

The monarchy to a lot of millennials and gen z living in the uk is a archaic and useless It's archaic to lots of boomers, Gen X and others too. I'm sick of the royals, and I'm sick of the lie that this country is a meritocracy while we're 'ruled' by an unelected firm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:05 AM
20

Simple solution to this situation: abolish the monarchy. I'm sick of this privileged, entitled, fimr robbing the taxpayer blind while we're told to bow and grovel before them. Fuck that and fuck the monarchy. I'm sick of them. They're millionaires - they can all do one. The country deserves better than this archaic shite.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:03 AM
12

...while sat under a garland/banner that says "love". Love. While promoting prostitution.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 12:46 AM
1

No worries. You take care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 07:01 PM
12

sadly, we as a society never run out of abused women in the media Unfortunately this is very true. Maybe it was arrogant to try and draw some sort of power out of my story You keep negging yourself and putting yourself down. So far you've called yourself arrogant and privileged - but not in a good way. It seems you have some self worth/esteem issues here maybe? It's like you're using anything you can to beat yourself up and put yourself down. I'm guessing other people (family) have done that a l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 03:36 AM
19

I read the other comments you made: yeah I'll give you my thoughts. If you want to vet a man for victim blaming you can do that by bringing up a current or recent news event rather than offering up your own trauma for his consumption (and possible use against you later on). Over-sharing personal trauma with a man you don't know very well isn't a good idea - and it's totally unnecessary when there are other ways of vetting for victim blaming. You are sharing a very personal story and intimate lif…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 03:19 AM
22

So... Have boundaries, but don't defend them. Make your voice heard... but shut up. So you can have boundares but you must never argue or contradict him, always defer to him, agree with him when you don't. So how do you actually have boundaries then? This is insane.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 02:44 AM
23

No worries - we all need to know how to protect ourselves from predatory men. That's why FDS recommends not to share your past trauma with men - because the point of this strategy is to protect you from harm. And yes it is dangerous - and it really doesn't help you vet a man at all: any predator can fake sympathy, and many do. Predators seek out vulnerable women and if you've been abused before, they see you as a target. From the handbook: How to be repulsive to predators, repel LVM and stay saf…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 02:17 AM
29

If the person I'm disclosing this to doesn't answer with anything but understanding and kindness, they are not worth my time. Dangerous, manipulative men can perform this trick easily - they're very good at it - and it enables them to trap another victim. Soft boys may perform sympathy, but they'll still fuck you over while using you as a free therapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 01:37 AM
3

I'm supposed to be sad that I've been "robbed" of sleepless nights, screaming, boredom, stretch marks, endless cleaning, vaginal tears, temper tantrums, bleeding, post-partum depression, dependence, and the rest of the horror that is having children? Nah mate. It doesn't make me a "failed woman" - it makes me someone who never liked kids and didn't want to be a slave to some lazy arse man and his screaming offspring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 12:52 AM
2

The other day, at a low point I thought, "I'd just like to have 'someone' in my life, to not feel so alone. So is this dream a way for your mind to remind you that there are now conditions on "just having someone in my life", and that you'd rather be alone than cheated on?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 11:36 PM
2

Maybe it wasn't just a dream but more like a nightmare? As an adult, my nightmares tend to be about my worst memories or my worst fears. This dream sounds like it could be a manifestation of a subconsious fear (that you'll behave like a pickmeisha and take back a cheating LVM). Or it's simply a reflection of the things you're thinking about in your daily life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 11:33 PM
3

“I consider myself better than other men. I was angry that women disagree with me".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 03:56 PM
3

Because they think: "why should I pay for a female when Chad gets 3 of them for free? The females needs to be shared out equally between people." Because in thier minds, only men are people and women are resources to be owned and used by people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 03:54 PM
4

"I think therefore I am" is responsible for a whole pile of crap we're currently seeing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 03:47 PM
11

So...BroTheDude thinks low birth rates are caused by men not having babies? Right....... He thinks that social changes and medical advances that enable women to make life choices other than motherhood don't impact the birth rate, other than through how these changes impact men? Talk about not seeing women as important: he thinks that the only people whose choices have any noticable influence / impact are men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 02:40 AM
14

Hhhmmmm... "you can have a home, an income and freedom from violence, but only if you produce a baby for the government & economy" doesn't sound like liberation to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 02:30 AM
7

So nations are trying to coerce women into having children - sometimes by offering them money (and thus a way out of violence) or shaming them. Countries should offer free child care, decent affordable housing, and easy escape from abusive relationships as standard - and without any strings attached that results in women having to give birth in order to meet thier basic human needs. Because "we'll give you somewhere to live & an income, but only if you have a baby" doesn't sound like liberation …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 02:26 AM
5

He's the CEO of Reddit? He sounds like he's never even been on Reddit - he either has no idea what kind of subs exist on here, or hes does know and he's lying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 02:11 AM
4

I keep seeing those abandoned villages and towns in Spain and Italy, and thinking how awesome it would be to turn one into a womans community. Other villages have been reclaimed - so why can't women do it. And it wouldn't have to only be a 'living off the land' thing - with the current availability of remote working I don't see why women couldn't build a thriving, diverse community with a range of employment types.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 02:12 AM
18

You're not alone - I'm sick of it too. Men make visual media that represents thier fantasies and worldview. It's the cultural representation of patriarchy and a tool of socialisation. And it reminds women of our place. It keeps us scared. It makes sure women know what men can do to us. It perpetuates fear. It's basically terrorism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 01:48 AM
47

I've applied some of the advice here to all my relationships - but particularly those with men (inc my brother). The validation of having boundaries is probably one of the most important aspects of FDS for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 01:30 AM
16

I bet that's a lie. I doubt he's overly competitive about cleaning the damn bathroom, washing the pots or getting the laundry done. I reckon he has no desire to be competitive about being the first to see the dust bunnies or the smear on the window. I imagine there's a whole bunch of life chores he has failed to show any sense of competition over.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 01:47 AM
3

You're welcome. I struggle with anxiety too so I understand how hard it can be to talk in front of people at times - I mainly struggle with speaking in front of groups of people. When men are misogynist I just become aggressive (which isn't that helpful really). Look at it this way - that bloke had the audacity to sit there and declare to everyone in that group he's a boring LVM with no hobbies. Because that's the reason he said it: he's boring and his hobbies probably consist of playing video g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 12:11 AM
10

I remember saying, "I don't need you to keep up with me." before I could even think about it. It was in a quiet, shaking voice but I looked into the camera as I said it. Which is a huge step for me because of my social anxiety. You get an award just for that - well done! That's a really big step to take especially in an online therapy session. You spoke up and defended yourself despite the fact you could feel yourself dissociating and you were in an unknown group. And well done for blocking him:…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 08:54 PM
10

I took the...sponges (used and unused) 💀💀💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 02:59 PM
16

I think each dog is different, and if you want to get a dog for comfort, company, lifestyle and love, then any protective characteristics they also have are a bonus. But if you only want a dog as a tool for protection, then yes they'd need to be specifically bred and trained for that purpose. But that's an expensive process unless you're doing that yourself - and you'd need to vet each dog for personality and traits before taking them on. I got all my dogs because I wanted a dog, and I was happy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 12:23 AM
29

Same. I knew the dynamic in the house had completely shifted when my boy full on snarled at my ex-husband. At that point it was all out conflict: me and the dog vs the ex. Me and the dog won.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 10:59 PM
31

My lab would walk up to people in the street, he was a really sociable, friendly dog and I always thought he was useless at any form of defence/protection compared to my crossbreed boy. Until the evening he nearly had hold of a neightbour coming home from a late shift - I'd never seen that dog move so fast or make such a deep, low threatening growl. That incident changed my view of that boy. My other boy was a bit aloof but generally sociable - he definately chased off and bit intruders / aggres…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 10:56 PM
8

It's an 8 ft fence unfortunately... Can you plant a row of pleached trees? They can be any height you want and are narrow so they take up minimum space but give screening at height but with no bulk below the canopy level. A pleached evergreen species would give full year round screening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 10:15 PM
8

Can you increase the height of the fence between the properties? Or install a privacy screen on your side of the fence? And would it be worthwhile seeking legal advice? The police might not care, but there may be legal action you can take.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 10:00 PM
1

Ah yes...brocalism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 09:42 PM
4

So... does that mean for libfems, 'sex for rent' is bad, but women prostituting themselves to pay rent is good? I just...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 01:12 AM
10

How do libfems react to the 'sex for rent' phenomenon?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:02 AM
14

Instead of "life saving sex work" wouldn't it be more sensible to give women access to a life saving welfare system?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 11:58 PM
21

If it was empowering, prostitutes would be wealthy white western men, rather than the global norm of poor, trafficked, often illiterate, often brown, girls and women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 11:57 PM
51

Because this is ow sex actually happens Nah dude...this is how rape actually happens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 01:57 AM
46

It's so weird that their reaction to female indifference is anger Isn't anger thier reaction to female anything? So many men are angry when women have sex before marriage/thier relationship, but then men also get angry when women don't have sex & 'deny' men the sex they think they're entitled to. If women get jobs and are in the workplace, men get angry - but conversley if women stay at home, they're angry at us for that too. If they get a woman pregnant, they can get angry, but they also get an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 01:42 AM
23

Showered, ass washed The fact that you have to follow SHOWER with "dudes you need to wash your fucking arse" will never cease to amaze me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 12:33 AM
47

Number 4 is literally saying: "I love shopping, but when I've finally got the new shiny object I desired, I get really stressed due to the time and energy it takes to take care of it - so I throw it away and get a new one"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 12:26 AM
85

"Heroin controls my life and I think of it 24/7 haha" "Alcohol controls my life and I think of it 24/7 haha" "Gambling controls my life and I think of it 24/7 haha" And these dudes just can't see the pattern...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 12:22 AM
1

No worries. I think the key to communicating our opinons of other people is to avoid condeming someone outright (eg. he's a terrible person) and instead honestly state your opinion of someone's behaviour towards yourself (eg. I found that his behaviour towards me was problematic; he was never my friend). The first option is a judgement against the person themselves, which could give a negative impression of the speaker. The second option gives an honest statement on, or review of, a persons BEHA…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 11:20 PM
6

"We don't spend time together anymore. He was never my friend." If they push: "I won't spend time with people who try to bully, coerce and manipulate me". That's not speaking badly of him - that's speaking honestly about him. You're telling the truth, and you're under no obligation to protect his public image for him while he clearly has no care for your reputation or his own. This notion that we must not speak badly of people is a patriarchal jackpot that allows men to abuse the women around hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 03:43 AM
8

no one cares enough to put effort into anything for me What about you? Do you put the effort into your birthday for you? Don't rely on someone else to provide you with what you need and want in life. Try some self love: plan and deliver the birthday you deserve. Treat yourself instead of waiting for a man to make you happy. You should care enough about yourself to put in effort for your birthday.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 02:53 AM
11

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Priceless
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 02:14 AM
11

Oh goody. Another Brexit bonus. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 02:06 AM
16

Well...it's fucking up everything else so...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 02:05 AM
21

Armin Meiwes had a cannabalism fetish - fantasised about killing and eating another person for years. He eventually killed and ate Bernd Brandes. I'm guessing there might be a link between his fantasy and his actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 12:24 AM
12

I think I'm depressed and feeling really lonely. I don't want to talk to people on the phone even when they reach out. I don't fucking get it... Like I want it but then I don't accept it in some instances. Yes this sounds like depression: as well as making sure you stick to your routine and get regular exercise/outdoor time, I'd also suggest scheduling some video (or picnic / walk) dates with friends and family - and stick to the date regardless of how you feel. Depression makes you avoid the th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 01:21 AM
19

Who the fuck do these men think they are? So much insecurity, arrogance & entitlement. "you gave me that access" - we're not amusement parks dude, women are people "not that I'm effected by it" - oh...you really are "I had given you feedback earlier" - so what? who are you? "childish"..."if you don't learn" - infantilising
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 12:33 AM
13

he says he wishes he never met me This is the last part of DARVO (reverse victim / offender). Typical manipulation of psychological abusers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 12:13 AM
32

> abandon her if she “stops working” (gets sick) This! This is a really effective way of summing up the issue with men leaving thier wife when she gets sick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 12:51 AM
1

I think that many of the women here would choose to be in a relationship if suitable HVM were available - but they're not. So FDS women stay single instead of putting up with crap - but singledom isn't necessarily the first choice. If it was first choice, then I'm not sure why they're on a dating sub discussing strategies to vet potential men, manage boundaries, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 11:32 PM
2

The Guardian is nowhere near far left! It's socially liberal but thier political and economic slant is decidely centrist (left leaning at most). They certainly don't promote communism (or even socialism much) and they really don't challenge neoliberalism. They may criticise neoliberal capitalism, but they certainly don't call for the overthrow of the capitalist system, full nationalisation, the end to private ownership & the establishment of a communist state. So not sure how the Grun can be con…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 11:25 PM
12

I doubt the woman who wrote the article also wrote the headline - so sometimes the headline is a mismatch to the article. I thought the stats were interesting - it demonstrates that single women aren't freakish outliers but a growing and important demographic. She also raised the issue of how single women are viewed by society - it's never been good. I thought she voiced the conflict between socialisation (a woman needs a man, coupledom is normal, no relationship = missing out, etc) and her life…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 03:10 AM
8

I think it's an extract from a book being published later this year - so I wonder whether she'll confront the issue in the book.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 02:55 AM
11

Yeah... The article is an extract from a book and I thought some of the data was interesting and it was good to read a womans thoughts on her perpetual singledom. I just wish editors wrote better titles/headlines - I guess this one was written by a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 02:52 AM
16

It's written by a woman who is single - and so thanks to female socialisation in a patriarchal society...yeah of course she's looking at herself asking 'what is woing with me?' instead of asking 'what's wrong with men?'. But I found the stats interesting: society makes out that single women are basically selfish freaks - but the data says we're a group that's increasing in number and we're actually pretty happy with our lives. We're not an outlying group, we're starting to be a significant demog…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 02:49 AM
4

I loved that too - so much better than 'spinster' etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 02:44 AM
2

He's an author - I shared links to his goodreads page and instagram (the apparent source of the image) in another post in the thread.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 02:56 AM
4

I did some digging and found out he's an author. This is his instagram, and I think this is where the above quote came from as most of his posts are almost identical to this. This is a goodreads page for some more quotes and this is his author page on goodreads.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 02:54 AM
35

maybe I’m too selfish to have children People have said that to me - I always ask them if they say the same thing to men who don't want kids. The answer is usually silence, and them opening and closing thier mouths repeatedly while trying to figure out how to answer. No one condems men who choose not to have kids - just women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 02:20 AM
36

As a European, that section is the most mind boggling to me: like the fact that if you loose your job you loose access to healthcare. I mean just...WTF?! That's insane. And a month or two of maternity leave? We get 26 weeks maternity leave with an additional 26 optional additonal weeks of leave if we want to take it: and we get Statuatory Maternity Pay for 39 of those weeks. And part-time workers don't get sick leave? I'm speechless - it's bonkers. We're all entitled to sick pay if we're employe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 02:07 AM
4

Could be an aspect of r/FemaleLevelUpStrategy/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 02:25 AM
20

Why do people bust their asses trying to set up every fucking single male friend they have? Because patriarchy indoctrinates people into thinking that all men should have a woman to clean up after them and service thier sexual demands. And so when a man is single, people freak out that OMG HE MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF! THE HORROR!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 03:08 AM
1

You did nothing wrong at all: he did this (consiously or unconsiously) to gain power and control. It's likely that he'll be in touch in future: he'll give you time to miss him, then try to wheedle back into your life - they always come back. So don't give him the chance: block him everywhere now (if you already haven't).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 11:29 PM
39

You expect your moneys worth? Women aren't a part of the fucking service sector Mike.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 01:27 AM
16

Then almost overnight, he was too busy and had to ration how often he could see me. I guess the mask has to slip off and it was confusing for me. He called it “being time poor”. He would still tell me he’s interested in developing into a relationship while calling me naïve and immature. This sounds like pick up artist bullshit: push and pull (or hot and cold) technique. It's manipulation. First he love bombed you - acted like the ideal man; then he pulled away and started negging you. This was m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 12:51 AM
10

So dude is saying "society must provide vulnerable, economically disadvantaged, marginalised women for men to sexually exploit and rape, otherwise men will randomly rape any & all women" This is an outright threat to all women; it's patriarchal divide and conquor - he's clearly saying "it's either her or you" expecting wealthy, advantaged women to throw poor, vulnerable women under the bus to save themselves from rape. But we all know that offering up those vulnerable women as sacrifices won't s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 01:47 AM
2

Yeah the patriarchy's great at socialising women into thinking EVERYTHING is our fault, even when the problem is someone elses' behaviour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 09:05 PM
2

He knows his rights? If he did this in the UK he's committing at least 2 offences: (1) filming her without consent (voyeurism), and (2) distributing explicit private images without the consent of the person depicted (classed as a form of sexual assault). The first offence carries a prison term of up to 2 years, while the second offence is punishable with up to 5 years in prison.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 02:01 AM
13

Because they've never experienced life without watching porn. They've been educated/conditioned by porn & have no idea what a healthy normal relationship looks like. They've been told 'iTs nOrMaL' to watch porn - and they've always done it & it's dominated thier sex lives - so to them, not watching porn is 'abnormal'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 01:18 AM
14

He's been caught - all he'll do is get a second secret phone for his affairs, prostitutes & porn. He's got this serious problem and wants to fix it? Nah...if he wanted to fix it, he would have done it already. This is just a cover to keep her on the hook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 12:56 AM
89

Many of the 'sex worker' social media accounts are really run by pimps, and other men invested in exploiting women. I had a debate on twitter with an account that claimed to be a woman working as a prostitute - except something was 'wrong' with the things that were said. So I picked through their comments - and it became clear that it was a man. When I accused the account of being run by a man and provided evidence to support my assertion, the account immediately deleted all the tweets. I've see…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 12:46 AM
25

I tend to love too much Turn that love on yourself. You deserve it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 10:22 PM
22

this is another area of comtemporary western life I don't understand. We have one group of people who work 5, 6 or 7 days a week, and another group of people who either don't have any work, or only work 1 or 2 days and would like another 1 or 2 days work. Work is not being shared out equally between the people who are capable of working. Outdated working practices also exclude people who can't work 9-5, 5 days a week - eg. people with physical or mental health issues. Such people may not be usin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 03:44 AM
8

Will Kamala Harris be making a speech about how she feels so empowered once she's the vice president of one of the most powerful nations on the planet? She'll literally have vast amounts of political and economic power on the international stage - if any woman is feeling empowered, it's gonna be her. Or maybe instead she'll start an OF account?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 02:55 AM
2

Men have ruined themselves. And they're trying to drag us down with them. I'm sticking with being alone - it's so much less hassle - and use FDS techniques to manage the relationships I have to have with men due to work, family, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 03:04 AM
47

It sounds like a coping mechanism: "I just got used by an awful man but it's OK - it's not that deep".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 02:21 AM
25

Another poster suggested the mods should make an FDS podcast the other day. Book, podcast, modding - ladies you're in demand! And thank you Jammies for creating this space. You have done women the world over a great service.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 02:19 AM
2

And that's why men don't compliment each other - the only form of 'compliment' they can give is sexual.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 11:50 PM
2

We're here for you. We have to take care of & support each other b/c men & society in general won't do it. I know what you mean about this place being so important - another good place to visit is https://ovarit.com/ - it's a feminist space that's run by the old moderators of Gender Critical. You need a code to register and post but it's well worth it. I've not yet registered for the FDS website but I should do it soon - I can't imagine they'll let us keep being so openly feminist on reddit much…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 11:45 PM
1

The sexual exploitation of women has become so normalised that people are simply incapable of recognising it anymore. Even women who claim to be feminists argue for men to be able to buy women - we just need to make it more ethical somehow!! Would they argue the same thing about child marriage? Slavery? I turned off messaging and chat on reddit to avoid those messages. I highly recommend it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 11:36 PM
4

Me too - if it's not, then humanity is fucked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 11:32 PM
9

Are you a people pleaser? People-pleasers want everyone around them to be happy and they will do whatever is asked of them; they feel the need to please others often at the expense of thier own needs or desires. If you are a people-pleaser, try searching 'people pleaser psychology' and 'overcome people pleasing'. There is abundant advice available online about people-pleasing & how to overcome it (eg here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here). Advice mainly focuses on identifying why you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 04:03 AM
59

Because money is always more important than womens suffering
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 02:10 AM
9

The best compliments are genuine and unique to the person. And how do men 'compliment' women? "You're hot", "nice tits", "hey sexy", "great ass", "I'll hit it", etc etc etc. Sorry dude but I have no interest in the opinion of your penis, so please keep that shit to yourself. Men want us to compliment them & claim they compliment us - but they don't compliment us - they leer at us, harass us, verbally abuse us, & even threaten to sexually assault us. All they do is tell us thier opinions on our a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 02:07 AM
54

Men seem to think that every woman on Instagram is a free sexworker or something. This is why liberal feminism is not feminism - they fail to see the class-level impact of thier ultra-individualist choice-based interpretation of feminism. When one woman has a price tag, this negatively impacts ALL women - it creates a social assumption that all women have a price tag, and you just have to push her until you find out at what point she'll give in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 01:56 AM
21

who the hell even thinks of stabbing someone's anal cavity? Pornographers probably.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 01:44 AM
130

He anally raped her in her sleep with a knife. I cannot believe I just typed that. Stop the planet, I want to kick men off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 01:43 AM
2

he was just that unconcerned about my safety Yeah...men really have no idea about the lengths we go to in order to stay safe, and the constant mental energy it takes. And I'm guessing that copper is the kind of man who, if anything had happened to you, would've said it was your own fault for letting your date into your home. I saw your comment about the copper possibly assuming your date must not be fit to drive just b/c you were driving, because to him, women probably only drive when a man can'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 01:29 AM
3

This whole situation was weird as fuck. No wonder you were unbalanced by it - any normal person would be. The behaviour of the copper was frankly bizarre; almost to the point of making it seem like a set up: Why else would a copper be there? And then to tell a woman she HAD to take a man she hardly knows home with her? It's just nuts. You did your best in a really strange situation - despite your date totally failing to take responsibility for himself & just letting you be forced to take respons…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 01:00 AM
27

Yeah the need for consent doesn't miraculously disappear when we go to sleep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 01:39 PM
78

I asked if I should stop him during or anything like that, and he said only if I'm uncomfortable or not enjoying it WTF? He's telling her there are ONLY specific circumstances in which she can refuse to comply with his actions. How about "I don't feel like it"? That's nothing to do with pleasure or discomfort, but it's certainly a bloody good reason to stop him. This sounds rapey as fuck. Plus, he can do whatever he wants to her then just claim "sorry babe I was asleep, I can't control what I do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 01:15 PM
8

This is the point though isn't it? Your date was given the opportunity to step up in a difficult situation, to defend your interests & he...didn't. Did your date stand up for you against the police? Did he point out how dangerous this situation could be that the police was forcing you into? Did he offer to be breathalysed by the cop to prove he was able to drive? Did he come up with alternatives (eg local hotel, take him to a bar & call a friend for a lift) instead of going to your place? Your d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 03:13 AM
2

It is extremely revealing to consider the stark difference in how our culture responds to male vs. female dating strategies. PUA = attacking strategy that promotes manipulation, assault & boundary violation FDS = defensive strategy to protect women from being used & abused Men: "both these things are the same!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 02:30 AM
13

I use: self massage - you can do pretty much the whole body (hands, arms, face, legs, neck, shoulders, chest, back, head). I do a 'section' at a time (eg. neck & shoulders, or feet & legs, or hands & arms). foot bath, foot massage with wooden massager & general feet pampering (eg. exfoliation, moisturise) skin brushing then a hot shower hot bath with a bath bomb - massage the oils / butters into your skin curl up with a book/film and a hot water bottle
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 01:50 AM
28

This. Also, see how porn is compared to a violent , dangerous sport, yet we act like it's just about "sex". And you know he's totally oblivious to the comparision he's just made and why it's problematic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 01:10 AM
22

Yeah... But they also just compared porn to cage fighting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 01:07 AM
8

Not in the UK - our class system is different. Since this bloke is in the UK and he's living within our class system, his position in our society has to be understood in our terms. Otherwise you're trying to impose a foreign (US) cultural & economic perspective on other people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 12:51 AM
29

Upper middle class?! He's giving values in GBP - these people are fucking LOADED! He's earning a quarter of a million each year - this means he's in the top 1% of UK earners. In fact he's probably in the top 0.5% of UK earners. Dude & his wife aren't anywhere near the middle class: in the UK the middle class earns between £20,000 - £60,000 pa (he earns 4-12 times as much!). They might not be the super rich, but these people are definately elite - especially in terms of people who work for a livi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 03:53 AM
10

Or by the fact that I have short unmanicured nails?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 02:21 AM
31

‘selfishly on their own’ But but but! If women are 50% of the population, & some women are rejecting relationships then there must be a MAN somewhere without a mummy-sex-toy! How terrible! These women are just so selfish, living thier lives as if they are actual human beings who can do as they please when they should be prioritising the desires, needs & demands of a random stranger they've never met! /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 02:15 AM
3

Audience: ooooh dude you're such a hero for feeding your baby Me: yeah I know right! And get this! This woman CHANGED HER BABYS NAPPY! And THEN! She babysat her own kid for 2 hours ON HER OWN! What a heroine! Let's hear a big cheer for this AMAZING mum!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 02:01 AM
6

In my last house - every single door had holes in it. There were holes in the plywood panels on both sides, at both my head height and knee height. My ex husband would punch the door next to my head if I was stood near one, or he'd kick it while yelling at me. I was constantly filling holes until there was only holes left and the doors were falling apart. When I got him out, I had to replace the doors. ETA: and that was just the doors. Nevermind everything else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 01:35 AM
1

Mate that sounds like a shitshow. I'd avoid it if I were you. LVM's gonna be LVM, and pickmeshias will complain but never leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 02:43 AM
27

Conservative / religious men (eg Muslim or Christian or right wing men) want to make women private property. Western / liberal men want to make women public property. When it all comes down to it - they all see women as objects to posess, they just disagree on who gets to own us & how we are distributed. ETA: Both types seek to control womens bodies & lives - one side want to cover our bodies & keep us in the house for thier private use; the other side want us stripped naked & on public display …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 02:14 AM
2

they didn't know what appropriate boundaries are I think here you've identified a core issue for most people in thier relationships - whether romantic, familial, workplace or personal. We all have boundary issues: men don't respect other peoples boundaries and take too much, while women don't maintain our boundaries & get walked over. It's not healthy for anyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 02:03 AM
1

Yeah. It's always appropriate to monitor behaviour for signs of grooming regardless of relationships. I think behaviour that is appropriate for a 10, 11 or 12 year old may not be appropriate for a 14, 15 or 16 year old. But again - context is essential. However... in the context of competing with the stepmother This concept I find concerning. The idea that a child seeking affection and attention from thier parent is somehow competing with thier parents new spouse a little...odd. I have been in a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 01:54 AM
1

SD acting inappropriately toward her father Stop blaming children for the failings of the parents - they're kids. If the parents are allowing inappropriate behaviour then that's on them, & it's not the responsibility or fault of the child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 02:58 PM
7

There's a difference between a 16 year old laying nude with her father (just WTF no) and an 11 year old sitting on her Dads knee or holding his hand in public. Those scenarios are completely different and it should be abvious to anyone. If the there is an issue with a man sexualising these things - then the man is at fault not the child, and he should be dealt with. I'm a little concerned that you're interpreting a sulking 12 year old girl with being 'pouty' and 'manipulative'. And that a kid pl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 02:56 PM
-1

I'm sorry what?! A man holding his 11 year old daughters hand makes her his GF? Are you serious? She's a child - in public. Children are allowed to want the safety & security of thier parents in public - it may be a new place, it might be busy, or the child doesn't feel well, or they don't see thier Dad often so they want to get affection. Male parents are allowed to keep hold of thier kids to ensure they don't get seperated or lost. Stop sexualising keeping children safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 02:47 PM
3

Story of my life. This hits home hard today.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 06:21 PM
83

I was once told that I have "fuck me harder eyes". My eyes. My freaking eyeballs. They sexualise eyeballs FFS. It makes me want to wear some sort of burka to cover myself up I know that feeling... but even that leaves space for the depraved male fantasy Exactly. We're damned whatever we do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 06:17 PM
7

It just goes to show how deeply unnatural it is. I've often wondered whether the "visceral reaction of unease" we feel towards age gap relationships is due to a biological imperative - one that evolved to ensure species health. It would stop individuals from reproducing with thier own offspring / progenitors (regardless of whether individuals know who thier parents / offspring are) and thus prevents inbreeding & the subsequent genentic health issues. And it would ensure selection of healthy, sui…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 03:19 AM
47

'Someone's daughter' is about turning the woman into the possession of a man, whereas 'someones son' is about reframing the man as a child that needs to be nurtured, cared for & mothered - this means he can't be treated like an adult, held to account or held responsible for his actions. This framing switches the woman holding the man to account into a bully picking on a child (aw poor boy being picked on by the big nasty demanding evil woman). It also attempts to trigger female socialisation to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 01:47 AM
2

The NHS has already seen major privatisation & I really fear it's future post-brexit. The only saving grace so far has been the election of Biden in the US - he's got more morals than trump & he's more reasoned in his politics than 'how can I personally profit from this'. Brexit is going to be devastating for the UK - it's basically disaster capitalism & a 'wonderful' opportunity for the hard right to reshape the UK to thier own ideals. And they won't just weaken workers rights - they'll also tr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 01:30 AM
12

The sugar baby is taking other womens hard-earned money via an affair with thier LVM husbands. That isn't being a queen with high standards, good boundaries & a healthy relationship. That sugar baby is a LVW using a LVM so she can acquire the wages of another woman & make that woman & her kids worse off. The sugar baby should level up, ditch the LVM husbands & get some sodding standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 02:52 AM
56

but they're too stupidly incompetent They're not stupid - Johnson's blundering baffoon act is just that - an act. He's a calcluating, egotistical, selfish, ruthless POS who will do anything to get what he wants: lie, cheat, steal, harm the country, put the KGB in parliament, etc. The rest of them are just the same. It's a mistake to underestimate them & thier level of cunning & planning. They're knowlingly & willingly currently fleecing the nation for billions while simultaneously lying to our f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 02:25 AM
25

"It's going to be hard for you, you have a big brain and you speak your mind and these are things a lot of men don't like but I'd rather see you be a little lonely than see you dumbing yourself down to suit your boyfriend." Priceless advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:51 AM
9

I have PTSD too, and I've previosly been diagnosed with a personality disorder. Dude's behaviour isn't due to symptoms of mental health issues - dude is an abuser. This is abuse. So sick of abusers hiding behind MH to excuse & justify thier abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:29 AM
11

I'm divorced and it's not due to a personal failure of mine. Yes I could've chosen better, but then again, my ex-husband could've chosen not to cheat, abuse me & threaten to murder me. Protecting yourself, maintaining your boundaries/standards, and moving on from an unhappy relationship isn't a personal failure; rather it's a sign of personal strength, self respect, self love, maturity, confidence & independence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:10 AM
90

mens rights activist (a.k.a. anti-feminists, misogynists, patriarchs)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:56 AM
189

The only acceptable form of feminism is male-centred feminism. Actual feminism isn't patriarchy-approved, & is therefore prohibited.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 02:54 AM
31

Reads like stream of consiousness piffle from a multi-day bender to me. Dude is clearly bolloxed & talking bollox (to the entire world thanks to SM). Ditch the whole man. At best, getting wasted is his hobby; at worst. he's got a habit. And that's in addition to the disrespect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 02:33 AM
32

"Hostile sexist attitudes toward women and support for violence against women are the factors most strongly associated with support for violent extremism based on survey research in four countries in 2018-19... More than any other factor, support for violence against women predicted support for violent extremism." From UN Women policy brief titled "Misogyny & Violent Extremism: Implications for Preventing Violent Extremism." PDF in English - publication information webpage "Links between terrori…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 01:44 AM
2

Bitch, mare, cow, hen, chick, bird, vixen, foxy, pussy, catty... All these words are used to refer to women - and they're all words for animals. It's dehumanisation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 03:17 AM
2

Yeah I have a nightmare of an ex-husband who I don't want to able to find me, and there are also some men who he pissed off (to put it mildly) that I don't want to meet while they are searching for my ex. So yeah I get you. Stay safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 03:29 AM
15

So...sex work is just work right? It's not about sexual attraction. or anything like like that - it's just a job, like stacking shelves... So therefore a man can give another man a blow job or anal. The john doesn't need to be attracted to the prostitute right? Because it's just a job, just a service. So why aren't the MRAs banging on about the unequality of prostitution? Surely it's misandry that prostitution is dominated by women? So why aren't MRAs campaigning for an end to this clear misandr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 01:47 AM
56

"appreciate it for what it is" It. He's calling a woman "it"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 01:32 AM
29

Not only have they gone out and posed - but they're all wearing the same dress / outfit. Talk about stripping the women of thier individuality. Where the hell is thier self respect?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 01:27 AM
6

That's because in the UK we've been protected by EU data protection laws which ensured our privacy. Thanks to Brexit, that protection is now being weakened, & I expect in future could be totally obliterated (that's what Prime Minister Cummings seemed to want to achieve so he could harvest more data to corrupt more elections/votes).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 01:06 AM
6

You shouldn't be able to - there are two versions of the electoral roll: the electoral register and the 'open register'. The electoral register you legally should be registered on if you are eligable to vote - this list CANNOT be publicly viewed but can be accessed by political parties for campaigning, the police, jury duty summons & credit checks. The open register is publicly available and anyone can buy a copy. However, you can opt-out of the open register (I have) when you register to vote o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 01:03 AM
1

I did check and apparently they ship globally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 01:17 AM
5

Glad to help. An ex-colleague used to buy from them as she always struggled to get clothes to fit (she was 6').
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 02:24 AM
4

Long Tall Sally sell clothes specifically cut for tall women & they ship globally
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 01:09 AM
5

If you're in the UK you could try Long Tall Sally
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 01:04 AM
5

If you're in the UK you could try Long Tall Sally
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 01:04 AM
57

And then he'll use your leaving as 'evidence' that women are shallow & only want to date tall men. Erm no dude...we don't want men who lie & are insecure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:57 AM
13

I needed to see that today. Thank you for the reminder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:49 AM
48

It's not just fathers & male teachers - where are the grandfathers? The uncles? The male youth workers? The male coaches & trainers? The male scout leaders? Where are all these men? Why aren't they stepping up to be male role models for these boys & to support thier mental health? 50% of the population is male - if male mental health support is so poor, what are these men doing about it in thier daily lives to support each other?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 02:09 AM
34

David Challen really is worth a follow - he dedicated years to getting his Mum released from prision & raising awareness of DV, particularly coersive control. As a kid, he watched his father abuse his Mum, which continued until she was utterly mentally broken & killed her abusive husband. So David knows what abuse is - and what it does to families & people. He really does get how men abuse women & how women are disempowered, dominated & excluded by men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 03:40 AM
7

The man making the video is also a loser - he's clearly a homophobic misogynist LVM. All this video is, is a man policing the boundaries of masculinity & bullying males he deems 'lower' than himself. This is patriarchal bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 02:55 AM
4

But she's not remaining neutral is she? She's clearly taking a side - his. She's throwing you under the bus to gain patriarchy cool girl cookies. She obviously doesn't mind confrontation with you - she just won't disagree with a man regardless how shitty he is & how unreasonable his demands are. And she's confronting you, alligning with him, & trying to bully you into submission.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 02:45 AM
9

I don't think he cares what women want. I doubt the thought that women have legitimate wants & needs has ever entered his head. So I'm going with: he hates that it's socially unacceptable to grope & rape whatever woman he feels like assaulting, whenever he feels like assulting them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 03:54 AM
2

Aw mate. You're hiding in fear from this prick. that really is no way to live. And his poor wife?! I mean...WTF? He's openly letching over his younger neighbour, while simultaneously bullying, threatening & abusing her? What does he think this will achieve? That his screaming at you wil make you think "hmmm why be faithful to my non-shouty BF when I could get pawed at & dribbled over by the demented, crusty, married, old psycho from next door?". Glad a PCSO will be coming round to see you. Hope …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 03:38 AM
8

Too right 'realism' is bollcks. It's got fucking DRAGONS in it. Can any of these men spouting 'realism' point out the evidence that unequivocally proves that dragons are real? No. Course not. If it's all about realism, why are all the actors' teeth nice & white? Where are the boils & pustules? The leprosy? Syphilis? Why aren't people crawling with lice? Because it's not about realism. They're misogynists justifying rape as entertainment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 03:58 AM
3

He's a misogynist. If the thing about you that he likes is that you've had one sexual partner then it means he's not interested in you, the person, but in you, the object, the piece of private property that he wants to posess. He doesn't see you as a person with a life, he sees you as a product that he's acquiring and he doesn't want a 'used' product. He's fetishising your 'purity'. I'd also be concerned that he holds conservative views about women: what other patriarchal standards would he want…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 03:38 AM
41

Do they want to please you in bed? Or do they want you to be pleased by whatever they do in bed, regardless how terrible it is? Do they want to please you, or do they want the ego boost of thinking they pleased you? Because this sounds like lazy men, who can't be arsed to remember what you like, telling you that you're the problem, when in reality what thier lazy asses deliver is frankly substandard. If they really wanted to please you, they would remember what you like. If he wanted to, he woul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 02:41 AM
7

Right-wing / conservative men want women to be private property, while left-wing men want women to be public property. Either way, they just want us to be property.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 02:24 AM
2

Oh I'm so sorry it's affecting you this badly. This man needs to be dealt with - he can't be allowed to do this to you. It's not surprising it's having such an impact on you though - it's a frightening & threatening experience. I hope you were able to speak to the police & they take action. I somewhat agree with the thing about defending ourselves - trouble is, whatever they make legal, men will use as wapons to attack women & each other. So making things like pepper spray legal just means givin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 02:07 AM
3

The reason you're upset is because this type of behaviour triggers our most basic instincts: we need food to live. Yes in the west we live in abundance, & the food you were eating wasn't survivial food, but food is still a very basic human need. This man clearly demostrated that he will take from you the most basic things you need to survive, even when he already has more than you, and more than he needs. This is pure selfishness & greed. Men helping themselves to womens food is misogyny & male …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 03:56 AM
5

Neither me nor my brother wanted kids - but he just went with it because his wife really wanted a family. He's really happy being a Dad & I love being an aunt: I always make time for them & love playing with them - and they love the fact I'll happily play anything from play lego to trampoline - and I earned much kudos from them & thier cousins the first time I was there when the scalextric had been retrieved from Mums loft & I beat my bro (we played scalextric a lot as kids). The boys are 14 & 1…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 03:27 AM
13

You need to start documenting this abuse - and I would also report this latest incident to the police since he gained access to your home to abuse & intimidate you in your bedroom. This is a criminal act & he could (should) be prosecuted. He'll probably get a warning to stop & if he doesn't, he'll face arrest. Since he's clearly ignoring you, your partner & his wife telling him to stop, he's not going to stop & you will continue living being abused. But he might listen to the police. Abusing you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 02:56 AM
10

I'm impressed you managed to hold her more than once! I have 2 nephews: the first I never held before he was 6 months old, & the second I held once before he was six months old (only b/c my SIL forced him on me, but it was only for about 1 minute before my Dad saw the panic & rescued me). Friends have/had babies -they all know that I won't hold them until they can sit up. I'm convinced I'm going to break them!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 02:41 AM
3

despite being among the group of the most protected, coddled and excused women in human history Yet despite being so "coddled" and "protected", it is estimated that there are around 100 million women missing from the world. Why? Probably due to: sex-selective abortions female infanticide neglect of women & girls - including inadequate healthcare & nutrition abduction of women & girls for human-trafficking differential healthcare between the sexes domestic violence high levels of maternal mortali…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 02:30 AM
97

People often tell me that "you think like a man" or "you act like a man" as well as "you dress like a man". I think they think they're complimenting me. They soon start shifting uncomfortably when I point out that I clearly think, act & dress like a woman since that's literally what I am while thinking, acting & dressing in this way. Harmful gender roles as so ingrained in how peope think. Also... Made me laugh out loud at "some of us worry we'll drop our best friends baby". That's so much me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 01:57 AM
12

MEN: "women wear "tight revealing clothes" at the gym because they want men to ogle them" ME for the last 10 years: "why oh why can't I find a decent pair of baggy tracksuit bottoms, that aren't made of jersey, that I can work out in? do they not make them anymore? why are all womens tracky bottoms fitted now? I miss the 90's"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 03:08 AM
26

I Tried Femdom And It Was Nowhere Near As "Empowering" As The BDSM Community Would Have You Believe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 01:06 AM
3

Excellent! It was the toilet debate that led me down the rabbit hole to GC - and what a joy it was to find that place. I'd read feminism years ago, but then life got in the way - finding my way back to feminism really helped me make sense of what had happened to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 02:46 AM
9

Feminism saved me too. I think it's done that for so many women. Have you heard of Ovarit? It's a radfem platform, created & run by the mods of the late r/ GenderCritical. Let me know if you want an invite code to join.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 01:07 PM
41

Not just "titties" but "the titties". Maybe in future I shall refer to my feet as "the feet" and my arms as "the arms" 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 01:13 AM
2

Mate this is the UK! We're drowning in misinformation: the government can't tell us ANYTHING straight. They don't want us to be informed & knowledgeable, as a poorly educated electorate is easier to divide & conquor, manipulate, confuse & control. And as for the media doing thier jobs and informing & educating the people... "woman wears bikini at beach" is 'news' while the government centralises power, weakens legal checks & balances, undermines democratic processes, dismantles the NHS, hands ou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 01:10 AM
1

I don't think they do. I've not been able to find anything similar in the UK due to privacy & data protection laws, however there are paid background check services available in the here which are mainly targeted at employers but also offered to potential partners. No idea how much they cost though - they don't seem to advertise thier rates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 01:00 AM
3

I know in the UK, you can go to the police and give a potential dates name to ask If he's in the database No you can't. The Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme doesn't work like that. Firstly - the right to ask & right to know can only be applied to a current or ex partner - not potential partners, or potential dates. Secondly, disclosure periods can be around 35 days. Thirdly, they will only disclose to the potential victim about thier partners past DV offences - nothing else. Fourthly, disclos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 12:18 AM
10

He's her best friend because he's isolated her from her friends & family - he got her to move 10 hours away from her friends & family & now she has no support network where she lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 10:59 PM
9

He's also isolated her: in the OP she says that she lives in his home area, & that her home (along with her friends & family) is a 10 hour drive away. And in the comments she says hse has no support network where she is. He's really got control here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 10:57 PM
20

Even if I...had told him directly I was bisexual or something like that it still doesn't mean I want threesomes. I'm starting to wonder... Do these men think that bisexual = 'two-sexual' = 'person who has sex with two people simultaneously'? Has porn melted thier brains so much that they can't imagine a bi person not having a threesome? iT's LiTeRaLlY tHe NaMe oF ThEiR sExUaLiTy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 12:39 AM
12

It's not just in war. Men bond over abusing women. Look at the Irish ruby rape trial - the four team mates worked together, not only to rape the woman, but to also conceal evidence & pervert the court of justice. I'd bet the porn industry operates on similar bonding - all the men on the set working together to 'destroy' a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 12:27 AM
5

I second Discworld - especially the witches. Esme Weatherwax is my hero.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 10:28 PM
1

Oh god yeah me too! We've all been brainwashed! 🙃 Maybe we need to turn it off and turn it back on again?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 09:21 PM
2

It wasn't meant as a criticism. And you're right, FDS is about being 'more of ourselves' - about being who we really are, achieving potential & living good lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 10:06 PM
4

I dunno... FDS does encourage women to change themselves... by levelling up, paying off debts, investing in education & careers, taking care of physical & mental health, developing hobbies & interestes, learning self love & self care, etc. FDS encourages changes that benefit women: so we can live better lives, be happier & more secure. PUA is about superfical changes to manipulate & exploit others - FDS is about slef development to facilitate happier lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 09:54 PM
4

If he clicks the light off and goes to bed, she'll get her ass up and come to bed, because he showed her HE AIN'T HAVING IT Because a woman is incapable of turning a light back on?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 07:42 PM
80

My abusive ex always seemed to 'accidentally' break things of mine that had sentimental value. He never broke things I didn't care about, or his own things, or things he'd paid for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 07:25 PM
26

he doesn’t realise the years i put into the tree He does. It's why he did it - & it's why he thought it was 'funny'. You don't have to forgive him. I wouldn't. I have lots of indoor plants - as well as my garden: my plants make me happy, they give me pleasure & they look awesome. If someone decided to destroy something that I care about, gives me pleasure, that is beautiful & that I have created, then they'd be out of my life instantly. Why would I want someone in my life who intentionally hurts…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 07:18 PM
10

Vending machines don't have feelings: you put in coins, press the button & get what you want out. When you're done, you walk away & the machine feels nothing. And that's how they see us - they insert 'being nice' coins, & want emotional support, love, commitment, cooking, sex, cleaning, a cheerleader, etc out. And when they're done, they walk away. We've been objectified & dehumanised to such a point that men can't grasp that we're actually people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 06:57 PM
11

And OFC the woman must ALWAYS remember not to have ANY needs herself, or if she does she needs to swallow them down or get them fulfilled by someone other than the man who exploits her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 06:09 PM
9

I mean it's really idiotic that all it takes is a show or a book to knock people off from where they morally stand. Oh but they're soooooo open minded! They just weren't able to entertain the thought without accepting it or promoting it. Or...they already secretly agreed - & this was the catalyst for vocalising it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 05:17 PM
6

From each according to her pussy to each according to his peen! LOL... but... Don't give them ideas!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 05:12 PM
23

Oh but... InTiMaCy! The poor menz will wither & die without InTiMaCy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 05:08 PM
13

It's a 'put down women who don't conform to gender roles' piece. It's in the right wing, conservative, Daily Mail - they hate women, and they really hate women who don't put men first & serve mens needs. So it's being written from an angle - and the angle is 'women who have careers & don't put thier husband first are terrible people'. That's why she calls herself & women like her "slovenly", " selfish", "self-obsessed", "failure" & "neglectful".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 11:25 PM
12

The problem for me is that she calls women like herself "slovenly", " selfish", "self-obsessed", "failure" & "neglectful". This isn't a celebration of a woman not conforming to gender roles, it's a piece written by a woman, negging other women like herself for thier "failure" to be a 'proper wife'. But it is in the Daily Mail - and they hate women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 11:21 PM
33

The headline will have been written by a copy editor - AFAIK very often, the person who writes the article doesn't write the headline. And this 'article' is from the right wing, racist, misogynist Daily Fail - so they have to make sure thier headlines set the angle for the article & push thier ideology. ETA: She actually writes "Does that make me a selfish, slovenly, neglectful wife? Probably" - she also talks of being an 'anti-wife'. This is a load of bollox - she's putting herself down for not…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 11:05 PM
10

This post goes with the other recent posts here praising men for the ability to walk into a shop and purchase some of the products they sell. The reasoning behind the praise seems to be "but they're sanitary products" - but they're just items for sale in a shop, Small children are capable of walking into a shop & making a purchase, but when men do it, the internet loses it's shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 02:21 AM
4

Victim blaming would sound more like: "it's your fault you had those awful eaperiences because you let those men treat you badly". This is more like empowerment: "you had those bad experiences, but you don't have to have any more - you don't have to let people treat you how they want, you're allowed to have boundaries & reject people who don't respect you"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 11:20 PM
99

It's even worse... Jessica isn't just any QC - she's recognised as one of the UK's leading experts in constitutional law. And Tom had the audacity to tell her to 'do a degree in it'...I just...SMH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 12:59 AM
1

I wouldn't put anything past men as a collective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 12:51 AM
3

Dunno... Just look at the Spartans. They would sit at home eating their own cum and complain about the taste. Hah ha ha ha ha! LVM gotta LVM
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 12:50 AM
60

Instead of going for a sushi date he’s going to the strip club! The sushi would probably be cheaper.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 02:15 AM
139

"take you to a field" ...and bury you. So yeah I'll go with serial killer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 02:08 AM
34

Swallowing a load is not "empowering". I highly doubt swallowing a guys load will make your stronger or more confident. Or give you any meaningful authority to actually make you more "powerful". If swallowing a load bestowed strength, confidence, power & authority, men would be sucking each others dicks ALL THE DAMN TIME. Entire cultures would be built on men sucking cock.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 11:05 PM
93

Someone is confusing 'empowerment' with 'patriarchal validation'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 11:01 PM
9

I was curious so went to see what I could find.... National Geographic: : Bikinis Make Men See Women as Objects, Scans Confirm Scientific American: How Our Brains Turn Women Into Objects Scientific American: Our Brains See Men as Whole and Women as Parts The last article states that both mens & womens brains objectify women and reduce us to component parts - one of the authors of the study claimed we shouldn't blame men for this. But honestly, when women are relentlessly objectified in culture, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 12:15 AM
3

If I hear / read "well it's my CHOICE!" one more time, I'll explode. It's like they've never encountered actual feminism, never critically assessed socialised norms & choices. I guess that's why they "reduce it to fancy slogans and ego boosts".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 03:04 AM
12

It is as if they reduce class analysis to... Individualistic rhetoric. That's because they've never bothered to utilise class analysis as, although they claim to be socialists, they're really products of ultra-individualistic neoliberal capitalism. When you try to get them to engage in class analysis they...can't. Then they accuse lifelong, athiest, feminist, socialists of being 'fake' & 'religious right wingers'. It's insanity & you can't even explain it to them because they refuse to listen as…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 12:19 AM
6

Thank you sister! So much truth. Loving the feminist rants on FDS over the last few days.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 11:52 PM
10

Gender critical is alive & well - they have a website with mutliple subs & it's run by the same mod team who ran GC on here. You need an invite code to join: you can get one by messaging thier Twitter account
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 11:49 PM
1

I think it's natural that we all blame ourselves for situations we get into in life. But as women, it's always helpful to analyse our choices & experiences through a feminist lens & understand how patriarchy, social conditioning & misogynist cultural norms influence us. I stayed in an abusive marriage for 7 years. I willingly stayed with a man who regularly abused me, put me down, threatened me, intimidated me, controlled me, sexually assulted me, isolated me & humiliated me. Because I saw it as…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 11:33 PM
16

Oh no! I didn't mean to cause you pain. I just wanted to let you know that what happened to you was enough to cause a trauma response. In a way it read almost like you were minimising what happended to you, or denying it, or taking responsibility for it: and when I read what you experienced, my heart went out to you & I wanted you to get some support for this. I just wanted to clarify that these were obviously difficult & distressing experiences, and you really deserve help to come to terms with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 12:47 AM
50

Can something be traumatic if in the moment it just felt really unpleasant? Because I'm low key not okay. I can see why you're not OK: I would strongly suggest you seek therapy or counselling if you can. Those men were hitting you, strangling you & otherwise hurting you during sex - that's abuse & sexual violence. During the abuse it may have "just felt really unpleasant" - but you may have been dissociating / experiencing emotional detachment in order to cope with what was happening to you. If …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 11:58 PM
1

You're welcome. Look after yourself & be kind to yourself. I know what it's like to be on benefits, have MH issues, struggle with weight/health, while feeling trapped. Other things I found helpful included: Having a daily walk - start at 10 minutes every day for a month, then increase to 20 minutes a day for a month, etc. Don't beat yourself up if you don't achieve it every day - do your best & see how you go. Keeping a 'one good thing' journal - at the end of each day write down one good, beaut…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 02:03 AM
3

Don't be so down on yourself. Women don't have to wear make up - I don't & haven't for years. If make up & femininity isn't 'you' then don't try to force it - be yourself. It really sounds like you need professional mental health support - I notice you said you're on an NHS waiting list, so here's some UK mental health links you may find helpful: The Mental Health Foundation has lots of info online including how to access support such as Samaritans phone line or the Shout Text Line; information …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 03:34 AM
9

That reminds of something a woman said once... "We didn't burn our bras to give men better access to our breasts"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 02:46 AM
18

You'll have to earn that Let's go for a walk then Jesus fucking christ. We're not dogs - we don't need to 'earn' food as a reward for good behaviour. We don't need to be walked in the park. Control & dehumanisation in one neat package.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 02:34 AM
10

Women might know, but often girls don't & they tolerate stalking & controlling behaviour because patriarchal culture repackages it as 'romantic'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 11:56 PM
29

I just googled my husband is a slob and I just..... It's an epidemic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 07:16 PM
4

I can see why you're seeking advice on this - the best thing to say is trust your instincts, observe & be wary. “maybe I’m the reason” But has he done anything about this? Some self awareness but not enough to take action? Your post did make me wonder... Are there some men who have a life they enjoy apart from having a relationship, but they don't want a real relationship with a real person that involves commitment, investment and emotional labour. They'd rather have a 'girlfriend experience', l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 12:32 AM
43

Firstly: how much older? He mentioned a girl that he dated was very jealous and would get angry when he would hang out with his friends One week, a couple of dates & he's already telling you what feelings you may have that he disapproves of? He's telling you how you should feel about his future behaviour. He's telling you this so that in future, you accept crappy behaviour while supressing your feelings & worrying "am I being jealous"? It seems manipulative to me. Also would question: what is he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 05:28 PM
17

Men consider that missing a sex opportunity is worse than having nonconsensual sex raping someone so they think they would have sex with rape women who don't want it just in case they are later fine with it. There is no such thing as nonconsensual sex - it's rape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 07:26 PM
10

asking if they're being unreasonable gold diggers because they're contributing 50% of bills in a relationship where they're being out earned over 3-to-1! ...when they're also taking on 100% of the childcare & 100% of the (unpaid) domestic work, while their SO eats the majority of the food, and even takes a whole extra room in thier home for his personal gaming room.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 02:37 PM
5

To forget our names, they'd have know them in the first place. They only want to hook up: for drinks & sex they'll spend less than 24 hours with you - so they don't think there's any point in knowing your name. Pet names mean they don't have to remember your name & they also wOn't get your name wrong when they're with you, which would piss you off & be an obstacle to sex. It's the ultimate in low effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 12:37 AM
21

"girl" "girl" "female" ...is this man terrified of using the word "woman"?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 04:08 PM
37

"sunshine" means... "I expect you to always be sunny & happy & positive. If you fail to be happy, positive, amenable, outgoing, sociable & enthusiastic, I will be disappointed with you - you are supposed to be a light in my life, not someone who has needs & for who I have to perform any kind of labour whatsover". It's as bad as 'babe' (I expect you to eat, sleep, toilet, giggle, gaze vaguely around & generally behave in an infantile manner while I control all important areas of your life).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 03:56 PM
24

and out of nowhere he says It wasn't out of nowhere - while he was walking along with you, he was thinking about his flatmate. He probably doesn't have gearing between his brain & mouth, so his thoughts just pop out. He wasn't giving you his attention - it was on his flatmate. You definately did the right thing walking away. ETA: If he can't give you his attention (notice you, listen to you, consider you important, give you special care) when you're right there in front of him, how is he going t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 03:05 PM
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