How do I stop making people feel special, especially men?

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-12-15T19:03:38+00:00

Look up something called grey rock. It's actually how you deal with people with narcissistic personality disorders or other issues. But it works well on men since they're also narcissistic. Less eye contact, less interest, small short non-committal answers to questions, don't share information about yourself, don't help them. Just get uninterested.

AbundantOverflow · 2020-12-15T19:14:19+00:00

I make a habit of asking, “Does being nice to this man benefit me?” It rarely benefits me to be nice to most men. The men who are useful in my life aside from my father are transactional and don’t need my sweetness in order to execute.

Only consider being nice after they’ve tangibly benefitted you. It’s an easy way to filter most of them out from receiving your kindness. And remember most of them see us being nice for no reason as being naive or weak.

2020-12-16T01:40:43+00:00

You don't have to take this advice because it can cause you to suffer at first, but look at male advice videos and see how they look at us. How they pick apart our bodies, view our being as a means to pleasure and uplift themselves while hurting us in return, how they get joy out of manipulating us and making us feel awful.

Look at statistics. See the rape, abuse , and murder of women, children, the elderly, and even animals (and just crime in general) that goes on at the hands of men. Look at how most of the so called good guys sit back and passively do nothing to put a stop to this despite being the stronger sex. look at how they just want to suck the life out of us entirely. Many of them laugh at our suicide attempts.

Look at this long enough and you'll begin to think "christ these are demons. Not people". And then you'll turn into me. Getting joy out of seeing the shitty ones suffer and start making fun of them when bad shit happens back to them. That's why my name is the The Tower, in tarot it represents the destruction of ignorance. be the tower

Edit: this advice goes along with people in general to. Remember that no matter how nice you are there are people who don't mind hurting you regardless. You're better off being a ruthless witch than a doormat

Mamma_Midnight · 2020-12-16T04:03:27+00:00

Are you a people pleaser?

People-pleasers want everyone around them to be happy and they will do whatever is asked of them; they feel the need to please others often at the expense of thier own needs or desires.

If you are a people-pleaser, try searching 'people pleaser psychology' and 'overcome people pleasing'. There is abundant advice available online about people-pleasing & how to overcome it (eg here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here).

Advice mainly focuses on identifying why you people-please; learning to identify your own needs/desires; learning to say no; recognising the damage people-pleasing does to both self & others; learning assertiveness; building self confidence/esteem; establishing & maintaining boundaries; learning to self-validate; recognising you can't please everyone; and dealing with people who exploit your people-pleasing for thier own benefit.

janatztxcxxx · 2020-12-16T02:50:52+00:00

You do this by staying firm with your boundaries with actions. I usually don’t reply in person or even in texts if I dont want to answer their questions.

I don’t do these 3 things when dating a men; sex, paying for dates and emotional investment. So I let them plan dates, carry on conversations and ask questions. If I don’t want to answer to their sexual questions, I pretend like I’m deaf.

BabyBlankieieieieie · 2020-12-16T05:31:29+00:00

I love grey rocking men. It’s so fucking fun.

Edit: I say this just bc it is, but also bc they don’t expect it. I just love seeing the light in their eyes, which is there because they’re expecting me to return their advances with a demure, gracious, sweet, let-them-down-gently response, go out when I give them a big grey rock instead.

Title	How do I stop making people feel special, especially men?
Author	Accomplished-Ad-6925
Upvotes	76
Comments	13
Date	December 15, 2020 8:44 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kdi4ux/how_do_i_stop_making_people_feel_special/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-do-i-stop-making-people-feel-special.499177 https://theredarchive.com/post/499177

Comments