~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 123 | If you need to ask for it, just leave - You want PROACTIVE, not compliant!They start off praising you for “improving” them/their lives, then hate you for “changing them”. It’s petulant little boy shit | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/22 02:08 AM |
| 70 | If you need to ask for it, just leave - You want PROACTIVE, not compliant!The malicious compliance is such an insidious form of emotional neglect and abuse. It’s passive aggression at its finest, and often used by men with a pathological need to be seen as “the good guy.” It gives them both plausible deniability (“I was trying to make you happy!”) and a stick to emotionally beat you with (“you’re insatiable!”) when their resentment finally boils over. Someone who actually cares about learning who you are and the things you’re particular about is driven by a genuine de… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/22 02:05 AM |
| 145 | "Moving the goalpost" at its finest. Nothing good comes of long-term relationship, especially ones with wife benefits and no future in sight. At this point, this guy is enjoying making his girlfriend BUST for a ring while he blows money on a boat. A BOAT.Jfc. She’s spending hundreds, if not thousands of dollars on therapy and is popping antidepressants, all because of this loser who doesn’t love her and blames his unwillingness to commit on her “anxiety”. I’ll bet the therapist and doctor also have beliefs that her “mental state” is contributing to/causing the boyfriend’s reticence. Save the heartache, money, and prescription pills, dump the idiot. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/22 09:02 AM |
| 58 | A joke eh?This would be the fastest unmatch lol. Boy, bye | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/22 02:29 AM |
| 91 | Is he an asshole or is it Aspergers?I’m neurodivergent and can attest that the answer to this is a resounding “hell no” lol. Society coddles autistic men while labeling autistic women with personality disorders, most often BPD and Bipolar. Growing into radical acceptance, for me, has been twofold: first, recognizing that we live in a society where I am not the center of the universe and my actions have an effect on others, and second, to recognize the difference between masking (people pleasing) and authenticity, and being able to… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/22 10:51 PM |
| 19 | How can you tell if "My ex was controlling, abusive, crazy..." etc is the truth from a guy?Came here for this comment. Any wannabe manipulative idiot can throw out “yeah my ex is psycho” comment. But the scariest men imo are the highly intelligent manipulators who know how to weaponize women’s empathy by making “neutral statements” that appear to be taking accountability, but couldn’t be further from the truth. Example: he says “yes I tried my best but do admit I failed her in some respects. She also tried but hurt me” when the translation is: “I was a negligent selfish asshole who we… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/22 11:54 PM |
| 26 | I love it when scrotes just perfectly illustrate why we need FDS. This is the type of guy you will weed out with the "unreasonable" rules he mentionsMen aren’t pissed about “Chad” because women supposedly want him — they don’t care what women want. Men are pissed because they don’t know if they want to be Chad, or fuck him. When your world is entirely driven by the satisfaction of your own ego combined with zero emotional intelligence, having conflicting feelings is recipe for an internal crisis 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 12:30 AM |
| 119 | Therapy lines that are used for manipulation“You have to respect my boundaries and let me do ______________” (insert selfish edict) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 12:41 PM |
| 18 | Textbook Terrible V-DayRight, a narcissistically flawed argument 🙄 meanwhile, we’re also working a job, working out, working on our mental health, his mental health, our house, his house, the entire family and the relationship, etc, but nooo it’s just so, so hard for him to have a job AND show up as a partner. Poor thing, when will anyone think of the men 😔 Edit: I’m not advocating we do all that for men, but I’m betting a majority of the women who post/comment on those relationship subs do. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 08:28 AM |
| 64 | S/ she requires no conversation🥰 no effort❤️🔥I get to game while having a girlfriend who reads instead of having a relationship w her😽I feel like my mind is blown: “it isn’t even about what she does for him, it’s what she doesn’t even ask of him.” — I think this is main criteria for how men pick a partner/ “love” someone 🤢 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 07:30 AM |
| 25 | Textbook Terrible V-Day“Uwu I’m so busy at work” — Yes, a direct quote from today’s men! The self-pitying sob stories never end 🙄 sorry that you have a job and shit time management/life skills, bro. Did you expect a standing ovation for your gas station chocolates? The sheer narcissism and petulance is enraging. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 07:17 AM |
| 36 | Textbook Terrible V-DayUgh this is so triggering lol. His whole post is just main character victim mode. The reasons he gives to express “remorse” are self-centered. The logic is “I’m a terrible boyfriend but damnit I’m trying sooo hard and you know, I have it really hard too, with my tires and all my valiant efforts to make this brat happy”. He mentions his tires multiple times but can’t manage to mention an ounce of genuine empathy for how his actions directly made her feel. We’re supposed to understand his behavior… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 07:11 AM |
| 25 | "wait to have sex" labeled as "bad dating advice"...and all of the people in the comments applauding...This is what I hate about these type of Instagram pop “psychology” peddlers. The “advice” is presented in a fun, light hearted way but in order to get likes and views it caters to the majority by trying to appear neutral. Of course, he could be saying that the timing of sex doesn’t matter whether you have it one day or one year into getting to know someone. But the plausible deniability is giving manipulation, and people eat it up. He’s willfully ignoring the fact that sex and love (and the peop… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/22 12:45 AM |
| 8 | I’m not gonna ask on relationship advice subs to get gaslit, I’ll ask here if allowed. Do you think I should leave because he didn’t stand up for me, or is it trauma?You sound like a kind person who gives the benefit of the doubt and focuses on the good things this person has done in the past. While those good things he’s done back then may be true, it’s important to look at the whole picture, which includes the things he’s doing now. You’re rehearsing the ideal future, one in which he tells you what you need to hear to forgive him and move on (“look I freaked out and was scared to defend you, that was cowardice, sorry for that, I’ll rectify it”) but by doin… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/22 11:40 PM |
| 45 | Harbouring resentment in future relationships“You’re not losing anything by approaching 30” — this! Our society’s and men’s obsession with youth is sick and overrated. You are not losing a damn thing, save for assholes who don’t deserve you. You gained a lot of experience and tools, anger included, that will help guide you towards better things in life. Your 20s don’t have to be the “best years of your life”, every and any year can become that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/22 03:37 AM |
| 7 | Men need to stop being celebrated for the bare minimum. 👏🏼 All neurotypical/able-bodied adults should know how to take care of themselves & have their basic needs met. The coddling needs to stop.Holy shit, this is fucking sad. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/22 03:28 AM |
| 17 | I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I decided to keep the baby - was his answer a red flag?Came here looking for this comment, could not agree more 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 if a man doesn’t want to have a child, he needs to take accountability for his direct involvement in the pregnancy (his orgasm) and pay for it in full himself. On a side note, awhile back I had a pregnancy scare with a guy who is pretty outspoken about wanting to be child free. I asked him the same question, about what would happen if I were to keep it. His answer? “I can’t tell you what to do with your body. But no matter what, I’m… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/22 02:44 PM |
| 262 | Are You The “Clingy” Type?A man who uses adjectives like “clingy” and “needy” to describe women, especially ones he’s been romantically involved with, is just telling on himself that he’s emotionally unavailable. There’s no such thing as a “needy” person, just people with unmet needs. Someone who views bids for connection, honesty, and integrity within a relationship as some sort of huge, unreasonable ask has nothing to offer. Yes there are people who get into relationships where needs are misaligned, but someone with cl… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/21 05:07 AM |
| 7 | Adjust your crown and project your voice forever 👸Such a mood 😩 I think so long as we always choose ourselves first though, it’ll be easy/easier to walk away from shitty people before the things we’ve worked so hard to build can be lost. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/21 05:29 AM |
| 15 | Adjust your crown and project your voice forever 👸Thanks! Yeah it took me a long time, and many tears, to figure out that men view life extremely linearly, and view everything in their path as an adversary to be conquered in order to fulfill the life quest of their ultimate self-aggrandizement. Very video game mentality. They see themselves as protagonists; they are the absolute center of everything. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/21 05:26 AM |
| 160 | Britney Spears is a QUEEN who is STANDING UP for what's RIGHT!Conservatorships for women are the modern day equivalent for having your wife or daughter thrown in a mental institution (or even killed!) for “hysteria” when we all know what it really means is “didn’t conform to what the men want.” It’s incredibly sad. Just more proof that women aren’t allowed to express emotions other than happiness, and even then, it has to be tapered down for fear of coming across as “too much”. Men go on and on about how they “can’t” show emotions but that’s just a psychol… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/21 02:16 AM |
| 16 | Being skeptical of the advice you get from older women about datingTrue. A lot of older women took so much shit and in many ways had things even worse than they are now, in terms of having to settle, financial abuse, ability to get jobs, and so on. Those women then went on to have sons who viewed their mother and father’s marriage as “ideal”, and daughters, who they desperately tried to control to (imo) prepare them for what they view as the inevitable pain of being a woman. Generational trauma repeats itself. To admit their way of thinking, of coping, all thei… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/21 02:08 AM |
| 49 | Adjust your crown and project your voice forever 👸Men say they “like strong women” but what they actually like is the challenge — more specifically, the challenge of feeling like they are stronger than her. For them, it’s all about the ego validation which comes from power. And sadly, too often that feeling of power comes from breaking her; thereby proving to himself that he can “conquer” a challenge. Of course, once the challenge is “defeated”, and the war is won in their head, the woman, merely an object, an accessory, a means to an end, is p… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/21 01:45 AM |
| 10 | Queens take care of their healthAs someone who is chronically ill, your post resonates, and I know all too well how they don’t just expect, but demand praise for “putting up” with being with what they view as an essentially defective woman. There’s so many ways patriarchy infects everything about women’s lived experience, it makes me furious. Men believing they’re entitled to a perfect woman, which includes perfect health. The ableism, specifically patriarchal ableism, that manifests as women’s illnesses (which so often result… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/21 01:57 AM |
| 11 | If your spouse watches you suffer, then they don't care about you.This is also a form of gaslighting (in addition to being abusing and cruel). When he shows you “how caring” he is for other people, it makes us re-question his character and doubt our own experiences with him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/05/21 05:31 AM |
| 96 | The bar is several meters below hellExactly ☝🏼 the bar is so abysmally low that not only does the basic, bare minimum of humanity behavior from men get lauded as some sort of incredible personality trait, but also ensures that any woman asking for more than where the bar is, is socially punished (“her standards are too high! She’s stuck up, a demanding bitch!”). So men that don’t beat the living crap out of their girlfriends and wives get to wave it around like some sort of accomplishment, and justify their shitty behavior (“hey! … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/21 02:01 AM |
| 104 | Found this gem on Pinterest. Ideal body types and classism.Couldn’t agree more. We know that most men try to obtain the objects that will make them look good to others, specifically other men, thus boosting his pitifully weak ego and sense of self worth. I also don’t think most men engage in critical thinking or introspection so they don’t even bother to question what they actually like, they just see what’s most valuable around them and then do whatever it takes to obtain it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/21 01:55 AM |
| 4 | For all the moms that have to be the tough/strict/main parent, because dad wants to be the ‘fun’ parent.. You’re being appreciated!unless those kids are boys, then results upon maturation may vary 🤪 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/21 07:28 AM |
| 63 | He forced her to buy him a PS5 for Christmas, but claims that SHE'S the materialistic one! Nah, sis. If you see this... take your PS5 and leave him!This. Men cry abuse whenever they’re asked to treat their partners like a human being that they actually care about, and because they’re men they get believed and given the benefit of the doubt automatically. AITA is a testament to the way even complete strangers are quick to automatically exonerate a man and vilify a woman. Men think being asked to do something “they don’t want to do” and god forbid be “nagged” is abusive. They treat women like shit and then drag her down even lower when she da… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 07:52 AM |
| 18 | Why do we praise mothers only for their sacrifices? I’m trying really hard to think of a time I heard a man praise his mom for an aspect of her character and not what she has done for him.Because men believe that women’s character = what she does for them. Those things she does (or doesn’t) do will be graded according to patriarchy, so women who cook and clean and give blow jobs and don’t talk back and have no needs are the “good ones”. And of course, no matter what a woman does or doesn’t do, a man will hold it against his mother and blame her for everything lol. There’s no winning | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 07:37 AM |
| 37 | How to NOT date women in 2021!!“Adam Sandler cosplay fever dream that only serves him” — there it is, right there. The perfect description does exist. Sadly, I had the misfortune of knowing a dude who fit this description extremely literally. He worshiped Adam Sandler and literally couldn’t fathom the idea of women being three dimensional beings lol. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/21 03:25 PM |
| 67 | This is horrifyingThe thing that really pisses me off about talking about the damage pornography does to society and men, is that the rebuttal is always some fallacious argument about how women deserve bodily autonomy, sex workers deserve rights, sex shouldn’t be stigmatized, etc. I agree with all of those things. But it’s a bad faith argument to refuse to disentangle those claims from the subject of pornography. As in, “women deserve bodily autonomy so therefore pornography is immune to criticism” is a bad faith… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/21 07:44 AM |
| 17 | The housework user typeThe majority of men have no idea how to take accountability or that they don’t exist in a vacuum; I’m convinced that most of them, regardless of the country or amount of “work” they contribute to the household, will resent their wives at some point or another. Because their only coping mechanism when life hands them problems (as life always does, real or imagined) is to externalize it and blame someone else, oftentimes a person close to them and almost always a person with less social status and… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/21 03:44 AM |
| 25 | This man going viral as his many wives figure it out.Yeah i get serious sociopath vibes from this guy. The fact he’s a cop and an ordained minister, he went out of his way to seek two traditionally revered roles in society (not saying cops are worshipped but they are given massive amounts of power over other people, which is also true of being a minister). This is the type of person who doesn’t just enjoy the affairs because it gets him (sexual, ego) benefits, but because he actively enjoys lying to these women. That’s the kink for him just as, if… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/21 02:55 AM |
| 53 | Neurodivergents & the Manic Pixie Dream Girl TrapAs a fellow neurodivergent, this post resonated. We know that men like to use women as objects to fill the gaps in their life and psyche but the experience of being a neurodivergent woman is unique. I agree, we too easily fall into the manic pixie dream girl archetype not even necessarily because of our personality/interests/expression, but because our brains are wired different, and that has effects on how we live our lives. If I had a dollar from every average ass, bored and insecure mediocre … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/21 03:38 AM |
| 55 | There is no Dream GirlThis reminds me of the bullshit, gaslighting projection I would hear from terrible boyfriends, about how I “fell in love with the idea of them.” Yes, it’s true that my immaturity and trauma caused me to see what I wanted to see, not what was in front of me, but it always pissed me off that the difference between men and women experiencing this phenomenon is swept under the rug. My “falling in love with the idea of them” = giving undeserved benefit of the doubt and viewing them as a kind, generou… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/21 07:34 AM |
| 5 | Saw this on Twitter and it’s so true! Be careful what man you date - they can drag you down!this deserves a standing ovation. I’m speechless 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/01/21 07:44 AM |
| 33 | Saw this on Twitter and it’s so true! Be careful what man you date - they can drag you down!wow this is so relatable. I don’t understand why men can’t just love women. It’s always about control, winning, and as you said, a pathological need to have the upper hand. What’s supposed to be love is just a competition, a war to be won, and you, the enemy to be defeated in their eyes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/01/21 07:42 AM |
| 85 | 🤢 Imagine he’s gaslightening her into thinking she’s crazy?!!!“Am I being irrational for feeling upset that someone who claims to love me and who I’m about to have a child with is totally inconsiderate of me, and insults me when I try to speak up about it?” Ugh.... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/01/21 01:31 PM |
| 43 | Is honesty and respect really that much more difficult than manipulation and lying? SMHAnd men say we’re the ones that use tears to manipulate them, smh. The projection is so ingrained everywhere it’s infuriating. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/01/21 01:19 PM |
| 28 | Is honesty and respect really that much more difficult than manipulation and lying? SMHexactly, because their work and status around other men are serious matters for them. We, however, are just games to them. Little fucktoys, and ego boosting devices. Like how they’ll rage when their little video game doesn’t let them be the big winner, so too do they take out that rage when we don’t satisfy their warped desire to have an object (woman) that serves them and makes them feel good, but has no needs of her own. They don’t kick their own vehicle because their other objects are more im… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/01/21 01:17 PM |
| 83 | If you ain't serious, send me on my way and I will thank you. Sadly, LVM love to string women along with the hope of something permanent. I'm good.Ugh, you’re so right. So trashy of them too... I’m cringing so hard at all the long, long novel length paragraphs I sent to men in the past. Wonder how many women have seen them by now.. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/01/21 07:55 AM |
| 24 | Nailed it!! It’s their birth right to objectify and disrespect their partner. So stop being insecure and accept your mistreatmentI wonder how many poor women get stuck in therapy for their “jealousy/insecurity/control” issues, meanwhile the husband is just babied like “ooh it’s okay to show emotion!” As usual, the majority of the work falls on women’s shoulders to make relationships work. Only in a patriarchal society can men gleefully manufacture the conditions of women’s subservience, label it as insecurity problems, and go on with their day. Makes me sick | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/21 01:21 AM |
| 16 | Yet another example of women bearing the emotional load. 😑Gifts are my love language because giving a good gift requires work. Anyone can talk to you (and tell you the things you want to hear, touch you, or spend time with you. But giving a gift, a good gift, not some obviously thoughtless last minute purchase (which itself is a red flag and a good vetting stick for me) means you have to listen, really listen, and know a person well enough to get them something truly special. Special doesn’t mean expensive, I know rich men who go to a designer store an… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/20 12:48 AM |
| 17 | 😂😂Adding onto this, I think men who use (or imply) the word “transactional” to describe interactions with women are huge red flags and should be avoided | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/20 12:36 AM |
| 13 | One scroll down this advice sub and it's raining LVMs. These headings were all within an hour or so of each other 🤦🏻♀️“It takes two....” trauma intensifies sometimes, it really feels like there is no hope. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/20 10:47 AM |
| 34 | Being gaslit and manipulated so much that your SO talking about murdering you doesn’t look like a 🚩For real. This goes far beyond your garden variety emotionally abusive LVM. This is straight up clinically sociopathic behavior, and quite frankly I hope she accidentally ends up telling this to someone who is a mandated reporter, because this is truly frightening. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/20 01:20 PM |
| 1 | I'm done 🙅🏻♀️💢💔That’s good to hear! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/20 07:59 AM |
| 26 | If you keep explaining and nothing changes, it's not going to get better. He's dedicated to not putting effort in.“Every week is a new thing with you! I can’t do anything right! You’re impossible to please!” Meanwhile he’s giving nothing and actively causing harm, all the while deliberately provoking you to play victim to your reactions to his abuse and neglect. It’s so triggering, like I literally have so much PTSD from this shit. Why don’t men care about women? It’s so evil | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/20 12:05 PM |
| -3 | I'm done 🙅🏻♀️💢💔Idk. Community care (ie new mother has multiple other women helping her after the birth/even helping raise the child in large community groups, vs the very western nuclear family unit ideas) and those communities still uphold and protect patriarchy, and arguably even more so in some ways than western cultures. So I’m skeptical that having more women around would mitigate this culture of encouraging rewarding and excusing LVM behavior | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/20 04:26 AM |
| 197 | So glad he is her exIt can be used as a manipulation tactic, too. For example, my mom’s ex husband was an extremely passive aggressive alcoholic. She needed to get new seat covers for her car, and asked him to pick them up for her. He asked her, what color do you want? And she said “any color is fine except that one, I hate that color!” (She was showing him the catalogue at the time). Well, something she did upset him, as was typically the case, and so guess which seat covers he came back with? 🙄 He said “oops, it … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/20 01:10 AM |
| 24 | This woman is badass. She’s a saint for going above and beyond to make sure the son will have someone proper in his life.Holy crap! That long game! No choice but to stan | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/20 07:34 AM |
| 1 | Men hate women and there is no cure for itOh god lol. You’re brave for tackling that one!! Best of luck to you lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/20 03:21 AM |
| 2 | Men hate women and there is no cure for itThose dots are obscured — and the ones that are visible, justified away — by design. We need more awareness! Except I don’t know how that can be accomplished lol... every time I speak or write about this stuff (save for FDS, bless) people just discard it as radical, and me, as a crazy misandrist | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/20 03:16 AM |
| 3 | Don't bother "communicating", actually. Just go.I’m also a behavioral psych “junkie” and I used to hold the same/similar opinions to you regarding abusive men (excluding psychopaths/sociopaths) lacking the tools and self-esteem to treat people well because of their own misery/trauma, and how being a jerk is easier than introspection. BUT, after getting my advanced degrees in abnormal psych and experiencing firsthand the discrepancy between what men experience, say, and do, I no longer believe this is the case. A person who is truly traumatize… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/20 01:49 AM |
| 2 | Men hate women and there is no cure for itEarlier than that, and that even goes for millennials. I remember reading a study in my undergrad psych program that interviewed thousands of middle schoolers and the amount who said they had been watching porn for years/already had sex/already gotten blowjobs etc was way, way more than you would ever expect. Well over 50% | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/20 01:34 AM |
| 10 | Men hate women and there is no cure for itYeah, this sort of stuff has been weighing heavy on my soul too. I don’t think there’s hope for rehabilitation, society is broken. The only hope for women to be able to exist without constant persecution and oppression and violence would rest in the unborn generation of boys, but I don’t have any hope in society to raise them right/better | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/20 11:34 AM |
| 18 | It’s time for: Spot 👏 The 👏 Flag! 👏 🚩 🚩 AKA profiles that made me give up on OLD.And not even in a “ha ha men are such trash lol!” But like, a soul crushing, hot, angry tears of despair and just utter sadness the world is the way it is, that men rule the world and hurt women with no regard, it feels like it’s pointless to even exist if you want to be romantic, if you wanted to be treated well. It’s sad how terrible men are to women all over the world, and will continue to be until the planet blows up from their greed. It’s hopeless. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/20 11:32 AM |
| 22 | It’s time for: Spot 👏 The 👏 Flag! 👏 🚩 🚩 AKA profiles that made me give up on OLD......... every time I think it might be fine to get on online dating again, I’m reminded of how shit the “options” are. It’s just the same, shitty, basic dude with a mindset that makes me want to vomit. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/20 11:30 AM |
| 8 | 🤮 “ion see shit wrong with this” EXACTLY why we don’t do dinner at home dates ladies - the queen in this story up and left!!Ah, every woman’s dream. To eat overcooked spaghetti from a plastic bucket. How romantic | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/20 11:10 AM |
| 28 | This man got a whole wife and family to support him, yet he wants to "clear up" things w/ his ex so that he can die in peace. They absolutely know that they are guilty of the way they treat you....don't let them feel the other way.No, men never get over their losses. We’re not people to them, just ego puppets. They want to apologize so they can assuage their ego about being a shitty human being. Not because they care about us. That would require empathy, and men who have empathy generally aren’t losing women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/20 10:51 AM |
| 60 | ALWAYS leave your cheating spouse! Every time a woman forgives a cheating man, she is spitting on the grave of all the women who suffered under patriarchy before us. Staying with a cheater is degrading to yourself and to all women.It’s hard for me to have sympathy for men who’ve been cheated on. Most men who have “trauma” or “trust issues” will tell you they’ve been cheated on. But you hear more of the story and it turns out they were cheated on because they treated the woman like absolute garbage lol. And rather than self reflect and improve as a person, he uses that “hurt” to continue being shitty to women, emotionally withholding, noncommittal, etc. like, if being cheated on is the WORST thing that can happen to you if… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/20 05:34 AM |
| 15 | Don't bother "communicating", actually. Just go.Mmhmm mmhmm, exactly. This type is so insidious because it preys on things we as women are significantly statistically more likely to experience (anxiety, depression, trauma) and therefore have empathy for. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/20 03:28 AM |
| 12 | Don't bother "communicating", actually. Just go.I used to think that, before reading Bancroft’s Why Does He Do That, where he outlines how men actually are much more aware of their abusive tactics to harm their partners. But I also agree with you, that they’re idiots. I don’t think the two are mutually exclusive | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/20 03:27 AM |
| 23 | Don't bother "communicating", actually. Just go.Couldn’t have said it better. Only survivors know. Emotional neglect is abusive, it changes the brain structurally. Humans weren’t meant to be ignored and ostracized, especially not from their closest connections. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/20 03:25 AM |
| 27 | Don't bother "communicating", actually. Just go.Men will use anything as an excuse to treat you like shit. Mental health issues are just the current cultural iteration of their bullshit. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/20 02:51 AM |
| 19 | Don't bother "communicating", actually. Just go.Wow this just blew my mind, seriously. They totally DO mimick childish responses to frustrate you (so you react and then they get an easy out from accountability by blaming your reaction) or make you shut up/give up. Lol these manipulative creatures out here talking psycho babble about why they’re shitty people and don’t have communication or empathy skills, etc, when really, they know exactly what the fuck they’re doing all along. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/20 02:47 AM |
| 32 | Don't bother "communicating", actually. Just go.I’m in the same boat as you. The PTSD from emotional invalidation and neglect from someone who was supposed to love you is too real. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/20 02:44 AM |
| 2 | And I always am.😂😂😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/20 02:38 AM |
| 2 | And I always am.This makes sense. I can definitely see it being used as a compensation tool to reassure themselves they can still manipulate women into sex. Ugh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/20 02:37 AM |
| 7 | I'm getting flashbacks to every first date monologue a LVM put me through - Never again!Ugh.. so selfish. And mean | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/20 12:36 PM |
| 102 | And I always am.Why are men so obsessed with being funny? I get it, it’s a perk, a party trick or whatever, but every guy I’ve ever met is INSISTENT that HE is the funniest person alive, and it’s like a huge contest to best anyone and everyone else in that department. I had one guy get extremely jealous that I went to see a stand up comedian, for example. Sulking about how “he’s not actually that funny”. Uh, yeah, he’s fucking hilarious, and that doesn’t mean you’re somehow unfunny? What is the logic? Why do me… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/20 05:15 AM |
| 42 | I'm getting flashbacks to every first date monologue a LVM put me through - Never again!And then they have the audacity to project and complain that it’s women who talk nonstop. There’s been numerous peer reviewed studies that show men underestimate the amount of time they spent talking during a conversation with a woman, while grossly overestimating the time she spent talking. “Interestingly” enough, they didn’t display this bias when talking to another man. So basically, a guy can gab on and on about the pithy ego accomplishments colonizing his brain for the majority of a convers… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/20 03:59 AM |
| 41 | STupiD whAmEn wAnT chADs 🤡And if a woman isn’t conventionally attractive, it’s viewed as sign that something is morally WRONG with her. Looking hot isn’t just a biological bonus for us, it’s a culturally mandated expectation. But if men are ugly/have poor hygiene/overweight then surely they must have other redeeming qualities, and us horrible women are at fault for not giving him a chance. We can’t ever win in a game designed specifically for our failure. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/20 01:15 AM |
| 4 | Do not let him gaslight you! You're not crazy, it's your intuition saying something's up, follow it.Wow. Yes, all of this 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/12/20 02:50 AM |
| 122 | Imagine you man inviting you out to dinner on you ANNIVERSARY only to demand you pay half. And she cooks dinner for him 🤦🏼♀️What a fucking sad, bar in hell place to celebrate what’s supposed to be a special, romantic occasion. “Happy Anniversary, babe, let’s go to Buffalo Wild Wings!” Making her pay 50/50 is just icing on the shit cake. I hate this man lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/20 06:35 AM |
| 36 | This PostSecret shook me, I think most women can relate to this.And what eats me up inside every night is the fact that I’ve come into contact with so many of these truly evil people. Is it just me? A flaw? Or are there way, way more evil people out there than I thought? These people were inside of me. It makes me so sad, and angry. Sometimes I feel I’ll die from the anger at the injustice. It’s pure, evil, injustice. Maybe some people just get fucked over and suffer forever. And the best we can do is come to terms with the fact those horrible things happene… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/20 05:39 AM |
| 13 | FDS Isn't a Hate Sub, We're An Angry SubShe’s a woman She’s Black Both of those things on their own are a big no-no for expressing oneself and having emotional autonomy, together it’s worse. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/20 05:34 AM |
| 7 | FDS Isn't a Hate Sub, We're An Angry SubYeah, and nobody ever tells a dominant group not to fight hate with hate. Because one of the biggest forms of privilege that we’ve created is in this world, is the privilege to get (and visibly express) anger. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/20 05:31 AM |
| 8 | Hint: the answer is usually “no” 💕aw... you’re so kind. I’m doing better without a loser waste of life literally sucking mine away. But if it (the cancer) ever comes back, and is definitely terminal, I’m getting my revenge. Lol. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/20 05:27 AM |
| 26 | Hint: the answer is usually “no” 💕I got the gardasil vaccine, and still got HPV 16 AND 18 (the two most dangerous types and ironically, one of the “big 4” strains gardasil is supposed to protect against). I got cancer a few years later, and recovered, then got it again. And I still have both 16 and 18. My ex was so abusive he said I was manipulating him by telling him haha. And when it came back a second time, he screamed at me so badly, then stonewalled me (as usual). Moral of story, vaccines don’t always work, but staying away… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/20 05:23 AM |
| 1 | Birthdays before and after FDSwow... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/20 01:17 PM |
| 4 | Why do you think men (especially older males) immediately assume that younger women are dumber than they are?Structurally, we know women’s (girls) brains mature faster, particularly with regards to impulse control. But you’re also right, that our society places an ungodly amount of burden on young women while excusing away any male behavior basically forever, so culturally we’re relying on those structural differences to explain a lot more of gendered behavior than they should. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/20 06:35 AM |
| 20 | Why do you think men (especially older males) immediately assume that younger women are dumber than they are?Society also perpetuates this narrative that young women are frivolous, vain, superficial, and above all, less intelligent than men. Never mind the scientific evidence that shows how female human brains mature faster and all the anecdotal evidence of young women being badass in their pursuits. The narrative that young women are dumb helps to facilitate the brainwashing that, because they are so helpless and pitiful, they need to rely on someone - namely, a man - to do anything. Women get rewarde… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/20 01:14 AM |
| 23 | Birthdays before and after FDSYep sounds about right, despite all their nasty projections, they are the true “drama queens and attention whores”. Spiteful, angry little shits | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/20 12:58 AM |
| 43 | Birthdays before and after FDSBecause the attention not being 100% on them and their “needs” (to have complete control and all the attention on them and their feelings and inner world) drives them insane. It’s why narcs intentionally ruin important days/events | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/20 12:52 AM |
| 55 | LVM avoids his own wife and kids yet finds time to lecture strangers on their reproductive choicesIt’s also interesting (sad; maddening) how claiming infertility is taken more seriously than her simply stating she doesn’t want children. It reminds me of now telling some guy harassing you “sorry I have a boyfriend/husband” is taken more seriously than “sorry, I’m not interested in you.” As women, we learn to reach for outside things to validate our feelings/wants/needs to others, because the fact of a woman simply wanting/feeling something in and of her own right isn’t enough. When will women… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/20 01:28 PM |
| 2 | Ladies, expecting a father to support his child financially is LITERALLY MURDERThis!!! For real, like dude you have a whole ass child and you’re on Reddit complaining about oppression because it (surprised pikachu face) actually costs you some of your money to keep it alive? The pure demonstration of entitlement | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/20 04:46 AM |
| 1 | Ladies, I present to you, The Scrotes of PPD: Where Male “10s” are 5ft6 and 58 years old, racial discrimination is unfair to men only, and Adriana Lima is Ugly and Masculine. Screeeeeaming at the delusion 🤣🤣“A camera can’t POSSIBLY capture the true RADIANCE and POWER of a 10’s face, often distorting them.” Brb, going to go die from laughter. This fucking loser.... 😂😂😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/20 04:40 AM |
| 7 | ProjectionMan getting angry — people view it as normal, natural, and therefore logical Woman getting angry — woah, crazy bitch, let’s institutionalize/abuse/kill her Like, jokes and memes aside, I think it’s actually very depressing how men, the controllers of information, have set up this society where their emotions are legitimated and rewarded, and women’s are punished and controlled, often violently. “Hysteria” as a label has serious consequences, and ofc it only affects women. It’s terrifying that an… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/20 04:25 AM |
| 17 | How to raise a hvm....And then that boy grows up to be a hateful, resentful misogynist who blames all his shortcomings on his “bitch mother” who wouldn’t let him do whatever the fuck he wanted, whenever, and however he wanted. He then claims it was obviously an abusive and traumatizing childhood. Deep, deep sigh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/20 04:00 AM |
| 12 | It’s a pandemic of LVM men everywhere!! Another story of an LVM man taking a woman out on a date. PandemicMen’s needs whenever a conflict arises. Wonderful to see it out so succinctly | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/20 09:38 AM |
| 5 | Vegan vs. Non-vegan menThe only vegan men I’ve met are ones who use it as a moral superiority. I know that’s the running joke on vegans in general, but, as is the case with most things (eg astrological signs), the male version of the stereotype is much worse. Also, they all tend to have disordered eating and orthorexia. Obsessive workout/running routines, and food management. It’s tiring. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/20 09:31 AM |
| 260 | Just... NO 🤢🤮I hate how a woman orgasming/feeling pleasure is defined as “her needs” and therefore something she needs to educate/communicate/be firm about, but a man orgasming is basically the definition of what sex is. It’s a given. Pisses me off. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/20 04:12 AM |
| 3 | My friend she wouldn’t mind being casually proposed to while doing dishes or taking out garbage - I hope I never get to this pointThe way I smiled reading this | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/20 03:14 AM |
| 32 | Beware LV people who think a relationships are supposed to be transactional.This. So many men “love you” because it feeds their internal image of being a loving person. It’s delusion at its finest, because as we’ve all experienced, these kind of guys are the least loving and kind ones out there. Dated so many guys who called it “keeping score” when I would try to hold them accountable — like, what am I supposed to do, just forget about all hurts and never speak on them? (And in their logic, yes!!) but they will remember every last instance that “they were kind” to you, … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/20 01:29 AM |
| 236 | You don't even have to try to weed them out on OLD, you just breathe at them and they melt into incels mid-conversationWoman: This dude: yeah, just so you know I’ve been in the streets, doing/selling drugs, and seeing people die Sir, what the fuck? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/20 09:04 AM |
| 48 | No girlfriend benefits without exclusivity.Ugh that is so sad, and so embarrassing for her tbh. Of course her idiot husband complains he was FORCED to marry her. Meanwhile he probably looks her in the eye and says “I love you.” Fucking sad. I guess even famous/beautiful/well-connected influencer girls aren’t protected from fuckboy bullshit | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/20 07:59 AM |
| 47 | No girlfriend benefits without exclusivity.Yes exactly! Greedy boys need to snatch that item off the store shelf so no one else can play, then go home just to set it on their shelf and browse pornhub lol. Most men treat their dogs better. I swear they just like the idea of “owning” us and getting us all to themselves, meanwhile they don’t ever actually want to give any of themselves smh. But yeah, glad I threw him, and that old clown costume, in the bin for good. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/20 07:56 AM |
| 134 | No girlfriend benefits without exclusivity.I had one loser ex get visibly angry and lowkey verbally abusive when I told him on like the second or third time seeing him that I was also going on dates with other men, since we weren’t exclusive and had literally just met. He pressured me into cutting off my other options and giving him exclusivity immediately after that, all the meantime without calling me his girlfriend. After a month of doing everything a relationship would be, I sat him down and presented my logical, thought out argument… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/20 05:37 AM |
| 31 | Say it louder for the male lurkers who claim we're misandrists huh 😂They know logically “men who manipulate and mistreat women” does not equal every man in existence. But maintaining a bullheaded, intellectually dishonest viewpoint is a silencing tactic, it is manipulation. And thus we need to examine why such a man would need women in his life to “shut up” about those issues. Hence, a hit dog hollers, and not all men, but definitely the men who say not all men (which is, sadly, a lot of them! Sigh) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/20 02:04 AM |
| 37 | Say it louder for the male lurkers who claim we're misandrists huh 😂So many men cannot tolerate when women are mad, especially when it’s directed towards them. And by cannot tolerate, I mean they’ll use every manipulation tactic in the book to silence, blame, and shame you for having the gall to express anything but happiness and adoration in their presence. It’s not a trigger, it’s a control issue and a serious, deep crimson colored red flag | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/20 02:00 AM |
| 8 | He’s done it again. His videos are so spot on.For real. My heartbeat is so fast after watching that video lol, pure PTSD flashback. It’s unbelievable the mental gymnastics men will employ to NOT CARE ABOUT YOU. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/11/20 12:16 PM |
| 3 | A lesson learned.So much agreed! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/20 01:13 PM |
| 36 | Asking for men to pull their weight is MaNiPuLaTiOnGrowing up, I always heard the anecdote about how holidays bring out family drama. Always thought it had something to do with the nature of holidays themselves, but I honestly think holidays bring out “family fights” because they require so much extra mental, emotional, and physical effort on the part of women, and a lot of resentment boils to the surface. Cooking a nightly meal with little to no support can be overlooked, if you’re steeped in denial. But slaving over an entire feast and event a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/20 01:02 PM |
| 7 | A lesson learned.A lot of women are upholders of the patriarchy too. I’ve had a lot of female therapists who similarly had no idea how to understand narcs and blamed me. Whereas Lundy Bancroft, for example, is a male therapist who obviously knew how to deal with that relationship dynamic quite well. Honestly I just think that most therapists in general don’t know what the hell they’re dealing with with abusive relationships. The tradition and practice of therapy is inherently patriarchal, just like the medical s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/20 12:57 PM |
| 87 | this angers me so muchAlso most of them just don’t care how you feel. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/20 12:37 PM |
| 12 | I’m so disgustedIt’s also frustrating that men like this, when you bring up how they make you feel about your body/desirability when they do shit like this, will spin it on you and say things like “it’s not my responsibility to give you good body image, that’s your insecurity problem, you can’t expect me to MAKE you feel good about yourself, that’s unhealthy” yadda yadda. It completely erases the fact that a relationship is supposed to uplift and support your life, which includes how you feel. Obviously a dude … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/20 12:34 PM |
| 21 | The pickmeisha in the comment sec being like "OR you could both love each other and it doesn't have to be a one sided street" Nah sis that's how you get played. Learnt my lesson the hard way , a man should always ALWAYS love you more than YOU love HIM.So true! I also notice the same thing when problems arise in the relationship. Women bend over backwards to excuse, deny, and minimize basically any transgression (giving the benefit of the doubt “he didn’t mean it” and gaslighting themselves “maybe I’m just overreacting”) and will often do the same for even literal outright abuse, but most men walk immediately at the first sign of conflict, because “she’s too much drama.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/20 10:04 AM |
| 10 | It's as simple as that..... what the fuck is wrong with men | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/20 09:42 AM |
| 15 | This was toxic for the girls. I think at the end they should have flipped the script and said “Okay ladies now rank the guys.” What do you guys think?Because for men, a woman’s personality = who he judges her to be based on what he wants to see (eg manic pixie dream girl), not who she actually is. The criticism of “falling in love with an idealized image” is thrown at both men and women, but I’ve noticed that women’s idealizing men tends to be basically them imagining a man to be way more wonderful than he actually is, whereas men’s idealization is literally just the standard for how they interact with women: fabricating her entire personalit… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/20 06:26 AM |
| 10 | Imagine feeling this entitled to women's bodiesI agree. I don’t think men are physically and uncontrollably sexually aroused when they see an attractive woman. What arouses them is the mental idea of themselves, “fucking” the woman that’s going to boost their self esteem and whose photo they can show off to the boys. It’s like imagining yourself as king for a day. What they’re getting off to is the idea of “winning”. And since men aren’t socialized to honor anyone’s needs except their own and those of other men, they just go ahead and sexual… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/11/20 12:54 PM |
| 6 | TeeheeYuuup. Used to be on some real clown shit for most of my life 😬 that guy wasn’t even close to being the worst of them, either haha. I wish I, and girls/women around the world were raised to believe that we’re worthy of being cared for. But better late than never, I’m grateful to have figured it out now vs, well, never | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/11/20 12:10 PM |
| 32 | TeeheeOne time, I dated a guy whose birthday fell within the same week as me. When the week before “birthday week” rolled around, I, despite having just faced a huge unexpected financial setback, spent the last of my dollars going all around the city to buy him gifts. I also wrote seven personalized hand written love letters, so he could open them on each day. I literally slept on a bare floor inside an apartment with no curtains, electricity, or running water and stole sandwiches from the convenience… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/11/20 12:27 AM |
| 7 | I got the most lukewarm apology via email from my sad excuse of an ex after he blocked me 6 months ago 🥴Same with several of my exes! It’s true and so scary! Like with my female/gay friends we talk about emotional leveling up, therapy, self-improvement, and it’s generally a positive and uplifting space. So you would think the same would apply to men, that the ones who speak “the jargon” are on a higher emotional level, but sadly I’ve learned this is rarely the case. Men weaponize therapy and self-help, in the same vein as they co-opt feminist language. It’s intellectually dishonest, manipulative, … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/11/20 03:12 AM |
| 33 | One of the comments on this post said “porn is ruining sex” and I couldn’t agree moreBecause men protect men, no matter what. Any laws involving sex are set up to disenfranchise women. Laws, like everything else, are designed by people in power (men). Women aren’t considered human, only sexual machines, so sexual assault against them rarely considered (and even less legally condemned as) assault | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/11/20 02:13 AM |
| 14 | His wife is for working extra hard since the pandemic, so he decides to support her by quitting his job and living off her income so he can spend an hour or two cleaning up, cooking, and making her a cup of coffee??? What is he doing the other 38 h a week instead of working?Ugh, so triggering. Men really do want to be totally fawned over and celebritized/worshipped for doing the bare minimum thing that usually isn’t even done right. Then when you don’t, they scream at you for “not appreciating them.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/11/20 02:05 AM |
| 17 | Men: “Just give us a signal you’re open to being approached!” Women: “Ok, how?” Men: “Ask us out”Lmao at the study the idiot at the end drew up. If a woman has to signal 13 (or more!) times to get a man to notice her, I guarantee you he’s not that interested. Men see what they want immediately | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/11/20 02:01 AM |
| 36 | I wheezed reading this 😂🙅♀️This. And quite frankly, if he gave a damn about her health at all, but knew for whatever reason he had a black thumb for cooking, the literal least thing he could do is pay for decent takeout or go to a local deli, somewhere where there’s access to ready-made food | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/11/20 01:54 AM |
| 16 | I got the most lukewarm apology via email from my sad excuse of an ex after he blocked me 6 months ago 🥴This asshat probably patted himself on the back, in therapy, on the Internet, and to other/future women about his “remarkable growth, humility, and ability to take accountability.” It’s why whenever I see a man talking about his emotional accomplishments, it raises skepticism (eg: a guy tells you what a mature, kind, and honest person he is 🙄) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/11/20 01:51 AM |
| 6 | There is no such thing as closure. Don’t waste any more time, Queens, and kick him to the curb!It’s so sad that for so many women (myself in the past included!) the reality of the situation — that he doesn’t love you, he doesn’t respect you, he doesn’t give a shit about you — is too hard to mentally or emotionally bear, so we spend months, years, looking for “closure” and any and all explanations for their behavior, when really, all the closure we need has always been right there: he doesn’t fucking care about you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/11/20 12:20 AM |
| 19 | They really tell on themselves! We've to be vigilant and not make excuses for their words.Ugh. These are the guys who gaslight you with shit like “well, it’s not hEaLtHy to have your partner be number one, I need to have a life outside the relationship and be my own person” meanwhile they put everything and anything above the relationship. Just say you don’t want to make your girlfriend/wife a priority and gtfo - oh wait, but then they wouldn’t get free sex and emotional and physical labor 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/20 10:38 PM |
| 43 | He even starts by saying he's adding backstory to make himself look better. I have no words.Right, and it’s not even guilt that comes from like “omg I really hurt someone I care about and I feel bad about hurting them”, it’s their existential fear guilt “omg what if I’m not the perfect person I thought I was??!” That they’re trying to assuage. It has zero to do with her, and that precisely is the root of the issue with men in relationships | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/20 06:21 AM |
| 100 | He even starts by saying he's adding backstory to make himself look better. I have no words.Exactly. And the entire nature of the post gives away his true intentions, too: not to make genuine amends and improve his character to be a more supportive partner in the future, but how to “make it better” ie so she forgives him and he can rid himself of the guilt at being a shitty person that even he can’t avoid in a situation like this. The question isn’t “how can I make her feel better”, it’s “how can I feel better about this”? Very telling about what their whole relationship is like 😒 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/20 04:44 AM |
| 6 | We are not responsible for who is attracted to us. But we do need to be discerning when it comes to the kind of people we entertain and keep aroundDamn, I wish you were my mom growing up haha. This advice is amazing, and so important, needed to hear this today, thank you | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/20 03:55 AM |
| 13 | Actions speak louder than words“I stop myself from crying sometimes because he convinced me it was just me trying to make him feel bad, not that it was me genuinely hurting.” — okay, this is THE comment though!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼As women we’re automatically pigeonholed as being manipulative for expressing any emotion that isn’t positive. Not just my parents, but every guy I dated had such contempt for my emotions, said I was “manipulating them with my tears”, yelled at me, beat me, or the worst of all, sat there emotionless uncaring wh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/20 03:49 AM |
| 52 | I have no words for this lunacyThe complete lack of awareness and empathy this idiot has would be hilarious, if it weren’t overshadowed by the depressing fact that so many men think like this. They’re so chronically allergic to the idea of possessing, let alone showing any weakness that whenever they encounter someone else sharing their vulnerabilities, their hatred kicks into overdrive and they project their own insecurities onto the target, usually by labelling them as “playing the victim.” They hate women speaking about th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/11/20 12:25 PM |
| 18 | A man who has nothing to hide will hide nothing.Let me guess, the comments said she’s paranoid, codependent, toxic, and needs to stop being so controlling because clearly she’s just projecting her past trauma onto him and that’s not his responsibility, and the fault therefore all lies with her 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/11/20 03:27 AM |
| 19 | r/sex told an ABUSE SURVIVOR not to be scared of someone who wants to STRANGLE and HIT her 🤡🤡🤡Yeah, the condescension is really triggering. The emphasis was clearly on the “you”, as in “this must be hard for someone like you to understand.” He’s implying that being a rape victim is somehow synonymous with being unintelligent. The victim blaming AND misogyny truly jumped out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/10/20 10:56 AM |
| 6 | There are many men out there, so sadistic, so sick that if you consider leaving them they will plan revenge porn in advance. Beware of men video taping youSo true. I think we’re giving men a little too much benefit of the doubt to chalk posts like this up to nothing more than incel fantasy. There are a lot of very, very sick men out there, not just “basement dweller neck beard incel virgins” but wealthy, powerful men who absolutely do have the networks to get away with heinous shit, as well as millions more “ordinary” guys who contribute to sadism with their viewership. The “dark web” for sex slavery, trafficking, and murder isn’t just comprised o… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/10/20 02:33 AM |
| 48 | It’s the colorism, misogyny, ageism,and blatant disrespect for me. Black men are taking a full on L for this one.I think even men who are interested in you and even claim to love you will resent and eventually despise you for being abused. For having any sort of negativity regarding men in the past. They’ll pass it off as a failure on your part for “not healing” (as if healing from trauma is a magical destination where you never feel sad anymore ever) and “pushing another mans issues onto him”. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been screamed at, physically assaulted, and abused by men, who were upset … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/10/20 12:52 PM |
| 72 | JUST TYPICAL LVM TALKI will never understand the whole “rewarding” men for cleaning trope. THEY. FUCKING. LIVE. THERE. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/10/20 12:34 PM |
| 1 | beyond disgusting - no normal, well adjusted person makes friends for this purpose“I don’t see the point in being friends with women — oh wait, lightbulb moment, I can use them as pawns to manipulate and triangulate the girl I’m dating into feeling bad, and get away with infidelity!” And people think this type of sociopathic attitude is equivalent to us saying here that we don’t want to date a man who treats us like shit? Ugh | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/10/20 12:49 PM |
| 48 | MhmOmg....mind.....blown 🤯 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/10/20 12:09 PM |
| 5 | Classic example of scrote stringing his forever girlfriend along. I hope she dumps himI agree. I think by having his children, it becomes harder for him to separate her from his mother - the woman who he either loathes because she didn’t love him enough/loved him too much (your garden variety misogynist whose mommy could never do anything right), or who he reveres (nobody can be as good as mommy). Either way, you’re in a losing battle against his fundamentally warped perspective. Even before childbirth, men constantly complain about being “nagged” like their mothers nagged them. … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/10/20 05:58 AM |
| 31 | I love this woman. Her Twitter is usually about having standards and HVM, and people are usually big mad.I’m sorry to report that grown ass men well into their thirties are still frequently suggesting a walk as a date. Even an offer of getting coffee seems like a rare treat. And, of course, they almost always expect you to pay for yourself | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/10/20 04:52 AM |
| 26 | Con men do.Right, because rarely do men actually communicate with women. Usually we’re just the mirror/vessel through which they monologue to themselves. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/20 12:55 PM |
| 20 | Men can’t make women orgasm because they don’t “cOmMUniCatE”LOL this dude is so pissed that he sucks at going down on women, it’s hilarious 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/10/20 12:15 PM |
| 7 | Saying a man will act right for the “right woman” is deeply misogynist and a huge lie.I used to be the woman who would listen ~empathetically~ to men describe the awful things they did to women, and then console the bastards like a mommy would. Pat their hands like “there there,” as they would say the most terrible things, physical abuse, emotional terrorism, the stories I’ve heard are chilling. And yet, I was so desperate for the ego boost, at “getting” to be his therapist, but feeling like I was “different” and “better” than these women. I helped the men bash the women, telling… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/10/20 12:54 AM |
| 38 | Good men hold other men accountable. End of story.Exactly. They don’t give a shit about male rape victims, they just want women to shut up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/10/20 12:41 AM |
| 13 | As a PhD track woman, I'm realizing more and more men are stupidI was also pursuing an advanced degree in the humanities and couldn’t agree with your post more. I’ve met a lot of men who were proficient in one thing (eg engineering) but their critical thinking skills and the mechanisms by which they evaluated information (and certainly their listening skills) were just... sad. Like not just lacking, but completely, pitifully underdeveloped. And that sort of mediocrity in independent thinking is so rewarded in society. To stand out and contest popular opinion… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/10/20 03:43 AM |
| 10 | As a PhD track woman, I'm realizing more and more men are stupidThis is an excellent way of putting it. Groupthink is insidious when it involves the male lens. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/10/20 03:37 AM |
| 53 | “There’s nothing wrong with being alone.” - Daniel Sloss - JigsawI do love what he has to say, and he makes solid points. However, in my personal experience at least, men who are the more intellectual/cynical/discerning/skeptical types regarding love are often very stingy, their mentality is very much “what’s in it for me?” And they play off their stinginess as pragmatism, while still holding women to the expectation of being absolutely perfect to “deserve” a commitment in the back of his mind. Example: I was talking with a guy who basically said all of this.… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/10/20 03:12 AM |
| 39 | Your age is your age....it’s not a sliding scaleA 51 year old man on Tinder taking about “vibes.” We truly are in hell | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/10/20 07:33 AM |
| 20 | Stop Talking To Men Who Flirt With YouUgh these assholes are so juvenile. “Either way, I win.” Life is a game to them and since they view themselves as the protagonist of earth the only way they know how to relate to others is by “winning.” It almost feels like the only way to not get harassed is to cede to their egos. In a way though, that makes me get sucked into their game and feels like I’m letting them “win” by fawning when really, I’d like to punch them in the fucking face. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/10/20 07:31 AM |
| 3 | When guys post shit like this on their feed I just laugh. I just find it so cringey😆 Am I the only one who notices this influx of men comparing themselves to animals?Yeah, i shouldn’t have used the r*pe word, I’ve just seen too many videos about the barbed members of cats and the females shrieking bloody murder/fighting against the male cats, etc. And the “kill” was directed at rival/younger lions coming in to kill the current leader of the pride to take his place. You’re right about male lions defending against hyenas/other scavenger animals taking the kill. I always thought it was interesting, because a hyena wouldn’t normally try to, say, instigate a figh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 09:32 PM |
| 40 | When guys post shit like this on their feed I just laugh. I just find it so cringey😆 Am I the only one who notices this influx of men comparing themselves to animals?Also, once lionesses bring the kill back to the pride, the male lions are the first to eat (followed by lionesses, then cubs). And if I remember correctly, because lions are apex predators and therefore have no predators of their own, the majority of what lions are protecting the lionesses from is other lions, who come in to rape and/or kill them. So basically, go fucking figure | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 02:19 PM |
| 57 | She gave him her best years but once she's hitting menopause he wants to cheatThis is why I’m so afraid of marriage. Assuming you’re lucky enough to not end up with someone who becomes/is abusive, you can spend a significant portion of your life with a person who just decides one day not to speak to you, not to touch you. There’s no intimacy in this post. He’d rather look at a phone during dinner. He doesn’t care when she’s upset. He doesn’t notice her. He doesn’t confide in her. They share nothing, she’s been completely rejected. Imagine tying up your future, your dreams… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 02:10 PM |
| 4 | An advanced Pickme spotted in the wild, commenting unironically:Exactly 👌🏼 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/20 01:46 PM |
| 15 | An advanced Pickme spotted in the wild, commenting unironically:Came to comment something along these lines. I don’t get why these types of people assume the two to be mutually exclusive like.... only a low effort, not thought out free “hangout” can lead the way to genuine intimacy? Aside from being a bad opinion, it’s just bad logic | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/20 01:40 PM |
| 11 | Imagine being pregnant and not allowed to use a chair. Just when you think you've seen it all. And most people are voting NTA which makes it even worse, most YTA are getting downvoted!? Poor girl.Right, he’s already tit-for-tatting her into the ground. He thinks “well it’s my chair, it belongs to me, why should I share it with HER?” Not giving a damn about what she’s currently doing for him. Clearly anything she does after delivering (like majority of the childcare and housework) won’t register on his mental spreadsheet because he feels entitled. These “what’s mine is mine” assholes trying to start a family (and yes, a seriously relationship itself is a family!) deserve to die. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/10/20 06:32 AM |
| 57 | Imagine being pregnant and not allowed to use a chair. Just when you think you've seen it all. And most people are voting NTA which makes it even worse, most YTA are getting downvoted!? Poor girl.I think reddit is mostly younger male, and mostly white. I swear they’re just chomping at the bit to play judge jury and executioner on AITA whenever a story involves a woman because like 90% of those posts are just an all out woman bashing frenzy. It’s sad, and it makes me feel scared. This is how men think | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/10/20 06:28 AM |
| 17 | The red flags here... so painful to read after FDS!! 🚩The first three sentences: 🚩, 🚩, 🚩. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/10/20 11:27 AM |
| 4 | Need some support and encouragement. Just left an emotionally abusive and psychologically traumatizing relationship.Love these links | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/10/20 11:12 AM |
| 11 | Need some support and encouragement. Just left an emotionally abusive and psychologically traumatizing relationship.Girl... reading this whole thing was a wild, sad ride. This dude obviously fucking sucks and sounds like a petulant manipulative rich kid with severe narcissistic traits. You’re going to waste a lot of valuable time trying to figure out “will he or won’t he” re: whether he’s going to buy off cops, send people after your friend, etc. Narcissists operate under the most selfish of cost benefit analyses: namely, he’s going to do whatever he feels it takes until he gets his way, until he decides that… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/10/20 10:52 AM |
| 36 | “To be honest, I just want to f*ck this girl to prove to myself I can, and move on with my life. I’m determined to make this happen” - Ugly scrote wants help manipulating a “9/10” woman 🙄I used to be obsessed with these types of questions lol. Trying to figure out “the whys” and “the hows” behind men and their behavior, thinking patterns within relationships. The deeper you get into it though, the bleaker things can become, and in my experience, chasing down these paths in the name of “understanding” men can even lead to some serious self-betrayal and harm. I try to focus only on myself now, specifically protecting myself. If some guy makes me feel uncomfortable in any way, it d… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/20 04:01 AM |
| 194 | The fact that men are fertile 100% of the time and women are fertile 2+ days out of the month and yet the burden of birth control falls to the woman is one of the greatest schemes of the patriarchyThe pervasive argument (from men’s perspective) is that male birth control “caused” suicide but the study was extremely limited and suicide itself is hard to pin on the drug itself (eg the guy could’ve been depressed to begin with, had another drug interaction, negative life event during the study, etc). They’ve never done systematic, repeated and long-term studies on large diverse sample sizes of men on birth control, so any man who says male birth control is “dangerous” and “causes suicide” is… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/20 04:45 AM |
| 4 | Not even forever gf but forever tenant 10 years and she gets this, can someone explain to her she needs to leave ?!For real, that whole post was a group of glaring red flags lol. You’re so right though, he isn’t prioritizing moving forward as a team, he’s looking out for number one. Leading a woman on for ten years AND trying (and succeeding!) to turn a literal profit from her. Not to mention in addition to all the benefits he’s getting from having a live in bangmaid. Terrifyingly sad | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/20 03:42 PM |
| 7 | Not even forever gf but forever tenant 10 years and she gets this, can someone explain to her she needs to leave ?!I can understand if a couple want to purchase a home together and then both pay into that sort of large investment to each have a claim to the property. But this man asked his forever gf to move in with him, to HIS house, which is an entirely different situation. He can afford to buy a four bedroom house, and now he’s asking the woman he doesn’t want to commit to to make a huge commitment to him by altering her life and moving in with zero benefit to herself? Who buys a house on their own and th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/20 03:13 PM |
| 3 | Reality checkBecause that would require effort on their part which goes against their socialization and worldview that they’re entitled to women without reciprocation, materially or emotionally. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/20 02:55 PM |
| 17 | NVM begging for nudes even though we lived 15 minutes away from each other 🤡Ugh. Men want everything for free. Free porn. Free sex. Free therapist. Free maid. Free chef. Free womb. Then you ask them to take you to dinner once in awhile and maybe try to pretend to give a shit about you as a human being (eg: listening to you! Asking you a question about yourself! What concepts!) and all of a sudden you’re using them, trying to change them, smothering them, controlling them, the list goes on and on. Fucking crybabies | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/20 02:38 PM |
| 8 | "I love beautiful sexy women". Judging by his pictures, he loves them sauteed in Paula Deen volumes of butter most of all.I lost it at “potato looking ass” 🤣 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/20 02:30 PM |
| 54 | Guy treats his GF like shit because he thought she’d never leave. She leaves him and is gone for good. THIS IS A DAILY REMINDER TO TAKE ZERO SHIT FROM MEN!Damn, yes, I cannot hit the upvote button on your comment enough lol! I checked the comments of that thread and it’s a bunch of people praising him for his “reflection” which is clearly the intended result of such a self-serving action. People who feel true remorse and do the inner work don’t need to show it off. But men like him are all talk, no action. They think talking/thinking about something carries the same weight as the behavioral change required for true accountability. And you’re right… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/20 02:05 PM |
| 85 | Guy treats his GF like shit because he thought she’d never leave. She leaves him and is gone for good. THIS IS A DAILY REMINDER TO TAKE ZERO SHIT FROM MEN!Soooo true. Lol this sounds like my manipulative loser ex could’ve written it, these men act so unique but they act the same in these situations, trying to play victim and martyr to stroke their own egos with a pity party. This isn’t romantic, and it’s certainly not the words of a man who genuinely has empathy and compassion and capacity for self-reflection outside of their own perspective. Basically, it’s still all about him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/20 01:16 PM |
| 12 | YesLol facts! Guys complain about our “mental turn ons” being this convoluted and unnecessarily complicated thing they’d rather not “deal with”. But like... yeah. It turns me on knowing you actually give a shit about me as a person. Can’t imagine why they would think proving that isn’t worth the effort 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/09/20 02:16 PM |
| 79 | YesAnd vibrators don’t complain when they “have to” give you an orgasm or how long it takes | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/09/20 12:44 AM |
| 6 | Notice how he’s always gaming. Let’s pray for her.That pisses me off. If you marry/date LV, you’re just teaching your children that that behavior is okay. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/20 05:50 AM |
| 115 | Why FDS is nothing like red pill/MGTOW/other misogynistic garbageHonestly, men being so pissed off about FDS makes me laugh. I’ve heard that “you know you’ve really made it when you have haters.” This is a wonderful sub, and the amount of haters it has really emphasizes that, imo. Our names are stuck in their mouths; we live rent free in their heads. It’s funny because it shows how immature and insecure they really are. Idgaf what anyone has to say to me about my dating standards because I know who I am and I’m confident in that. I don’t feel the need to cont… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/20 05:17 AM |
| 9 | Breaking up with the best boyfriend I've ever hadMeh, dude sounds like half a glass of lukewarm water on a hot day. Gut instincts rarely lie! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/20 05:08 AM |
| 9 | Breaking up with the best boyfriend I've ever hadYes! We should always leave at the first sign of disrespect, towards ourselves, or anyone else. It can be hard, but will save a lot of heartbreak down the line | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/20 04:27 AM |
| 60 | Breaking up with the best boyfriend I've ever hadReminds me of the quote from James Baldwin, “We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/20 04:19 AM |
| 17 | Jesus Christ men are SICK. I know that the op is a sex worker but its still terrifying! What those men are even thinking? Shes literally getting assaultedI think it’s kinda like a chicken/egg thing. Does porn put horrible ideas into men’s heads, normalizing them in society? Or is porn just a reflection of the inner desires men have always had, but maybe didn’t always vocalize so publicly in the past? In either case, it doesn’t really matter. Because dudes are literally jerking off to women getting violently hurt. It’s scary as fuck. Even the most normal looking/acting guy could have a horrifying browser history. You just never know | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/09/20 12:50 PM |
| 22 | High Earning, Well-Educated and Well-Dressed Does Not a HVM MakeI mean, the military is basically a breeding ground for violent misogynistic rhetoric. Part of becoming a soldier is learning to think like one. The hegemonic masculinity is needed to breed literal killers lol. But I also think men who are more violent to begin with also seek out cultures like military, police, etc. Then the dogma of those institutions just makes them double down on their hateful beliefs. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/09/20 12:45 PM |
| 20 | I wrote this as a response to an ovarit post, but I wanted to share it here too. Why do men hate women?Omg, the way my heart just dropped into my stomach reading that. That poor woman. And she probably had no idea. That man and his friends are garbage human beings | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 01:54 PM |
| 11 | I wrote this as a response to an ovarit post, but I wanted to share it here too. Why do men hate women?ALL behavior towards women is justified in the mind of the man, because society tells him that is his right in the relationship | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 12:34 PM |
| 31 | I wrote this as a response to an ovarit post, but I wanted to share it here too. Why do men hate women?I see this question posted on Twitter fairly regularly, especially on comments to AITA posts. The posts are all generally the same, we all know what they look like: a poor girl asks the internet if she’s an asshole for having a human reaction to her boyfriend/husbands blatant disrespect, abuse, and entitlement, or it’s some jerkoff guy asking if he’s an asshole for disrespecting, abusing, and feeling entitled to his girlfriend/wife. Then, somewhere in the top comments, someone is often asking: w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 12:09 PM |
| 16 | Makes me 😤 to see a gorgeous queen put in effort for date night while her man does the absolute leastReminds me of my senior prom in high school. NVM loser ex insisted on wearing his dirty, mud stained vans because dress shoes were “uncomfortable”. Meanwhile I’m in five inch heels and a $400 ball gown. Lol. He even continued to bring it up for week after, how I had “forced” him out of his comfort zone (he didn’t even want to go to begin with. I paid for his ticket, the gas in his car to get him there, and dinner. So cringey) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 11:29 AM |
| 39 | Let's talk about gaslighting for a secIt’s almost as if all men are reading from the same script when they interact with women. I used to think it was only my exes who spoke to me this way, because I was some sort of flawed human being who managed to pick the worst of the worst people to be around. But reading posts like these and hearing other women’s stories over the year never fails to give me chills at the reminder that this behavior is COMMON. In my experience, men don’t just view interpersonal conflict as battles to be won aga… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/09/20 02:57 PM |
| 44 | I am tired of libfem financial adviceUgh, this libfem financial advice reeks of the equally bullshit marriage counseling advice of how it’s better to be happy in a marriage than right. Except no one bothers to analyze how the definitions of happiness aren’t created equal, and in fact are, by definition, unequal according to patriarchy. A man is happy in a marriage when he gets his way: total obedience, subservience from his partner with no nagging. A woman is happy in a marriage when she isn’t getting abused. And if a man doesn’t h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/20 03:03 AM |
| 13 | My ex read my diary after I left and got pissed because he violated boundaries.“you wanted to fuck beach balls” 😂😂💀💀 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/20 02:53 AM |
| 26 | I did everything wrong.Emotionally unavailable guys will ALWAYS tell you you’re asking for too much and “causing fights” “all the time” (by expressing your unmet needs), coupled with the “sorry I’m not good enough/can’t please the princess” meltdown, because they are emotionally bankrupt and chronically unable to take accountability for their actions and realize that they have an effect on the people closest to them. I honestly don’t understand why this type of behavior from them is so common in relationships, and why… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/20 02:45 AM |
| 10 | LVM only say this when they are looking for an ego boost from Barbara the Builder/Therapist Theresa. Don't fall for it! Remember: the only person who can save him is himselfExactly. Men are notoriously unreliable narrators when it comes to their interactions with women. I don’t know if it’s intentional (deliberate manipulation of the narrative to paint themself as the victim) or unintentional (a lifetime of zero empathy + viewing themselves as the protagonist of reality) but the result is the same, women lose if men want them to lose. And men want to win more than they want to consider the whole story, if they even can, lol. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/20 01:50 AM |
| 91 | Man once again panicking after getting a reality check about open marriagesI feel like a lot of the reason behind why women don’t want to have sex with their LVM husbands after giving birth is because they’re forced to confront the extent of his entitlement and non-participation in the marriage. Before a baby, a man might be able to maintain an air of innocence about not contributing to the household, for example, and the wife/girlfriend has more free time and energy to pick up his slack. But right after giving birth, her body is literally injured, she’s exhausted, sle… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/20 11:00 AM |
| 6 | One more reason to never 👏🏼send 👏🏼nudes👏🏼 There is literally no photo he could take that would be an even trade. You’re beautiful, soft, can pose like a goddess. He’s most likely dirty, unkept, and using flash.Using flash 😂😂😂😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/20 02:56 AM |
| 10 | This Brave Nurse Came Forward to Whistleblow about ICE Doctors performing involuntary hysterectomies on immigrant women.The depths of men’s unapologetic exploitation of women’s bodies for personal gain will never cease to amaze me. What kind of human being sits there and legitimately thinks it a good idea to mutilate another human’s body for profit and prestige? (Rhetorical question, of course) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/09/20 12:54 PM |
| 12 | What are some phrases LVM say in the beginning that are red flags in the early phases that we may not notice?If he uses the words “crazy/insane/psycho” etc to describe a person having an emotion he doesn’t like | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/20 01:45 PM |
| 3 | If liberal feminism was a comment. They are so close to realising it but they just don't want toSoo true. Like oil and water, men despise taking any form of accountability when it comes to women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/20 02:47 AM |
| 66 | If liberal feminism was a comment. They are so close to realising it but they just don't want to“I’ve found far too many times that given consent doesn’t necessarily come from a good place” — way to place the focus and blame on the woman “consenting” to be abused, while deflecting away from the real issue, which is HIM wanting the social benefits of calling himself a feminist but knowing damn well deep down that he isn’t. The mental gymnastics... 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 01:11 PM |
| 5 | Not sure if the flair firs, correct me if I'm wrong.The way I just literally laughed my ass off. This is soooo true! Emotionally bankrupt, misogynistic losers always expect women to nurture them (and all their “trauma”, which usually just consists of their few experiences of not getting everything they feel entitled to), meanwhile they expect you to behave like an obedient child/free prostitute. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 01:03 PM |
| 7 | (TW) Men have no empathy. And there are a lot of comments siding with the boyfriend.A child was gang raped and years later, some mediocre man finds a way to insert himself into the center of that narrative and demonize the victim. That’s unsurprising. The worst part of that post, imo, is the edit. The poor woman wasn’t only gang raped, her abuse was filmed and distributed, forever cemented in history. Her trauma resurfaces and then compounds when the one person who is supposed to be on her side shames and discards her - but not before expressing jealousy?? Of the men RAPING his… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/09/20 04:02 PM |
| 42 | That feeling when indigenous cultures have more of a sense of gender equality than men in developed societies could ever comprehend....Knowing the audacity of men, yeah, probably. I’d give that rope a few extra tugs for good measure. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/08/20 01:23 PM |
| 58 | Had a conversation with a male friend today that confirmed FDS strategiesNot only horrified, they would probably try to ruin the woman’s life lol. I mean, we get called gold diggers just for asking for a meal. Personally, I’d like to be friends with a woman like this though 😎 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 05:30 AM |
| 9 | 2 month relationship broke my heart. How do I move on and level upThis guy sounds like a spineless fuckboy. He can fall in and out of love in a one week span, nobody healthy does that. Clearly he just says what he know you want to hear, because real feelings have actions that match their words, and “big” words (I love you/ talking about the future / having children together) aren’t being spoken within a few weeks of even knowing you. Then he blames his disinterest on his family because he has the emotional maturity of a rock and can’t have an open and honest c… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 02:02 AM |
| 10 | How do I know if texting habits is a red flag or not?Sounds like he uses texting purely as a way to keep tabs on you and see how available/eager you are for him. Some guys don’t write paragraphs on paragraphs, sure. But someone who’s even moderately interested in you is going to make the effort to have an actual conversation and get to know you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 01:54 AM |
| 20 | Am I just being a prude or is this too much for someone who has only spoken to me for 5 minutes? #datingwhenyoure30Yeah, this is a totally inappropriate conversation on his end. Dude doesn’t even know your last name and he’s trying to tell you his sexual behavior? What a weirdo. At least this one told on himself early on, so you don’t have to waste any more time on entertaining his cringey monologues that no one asked for. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 01:50 AM |
| 111 | Had a conversation with a male friend today that confirmed FDS strategiesImagine casually dropping into the conversation with a man how you fucked and used another man and don’t care how he feels. Men would be up in arms lol. But that isn’t even a strange/rare conversation for men to have about women. It’s the norm 🤯 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 01:47 AM |
| 44 | All the comments were a variation of “WeLl HoLd On, iT’s NoT nEcEsSaRiLy FeTiShIsAtIon” - the bar truly is in hellOh great, another mediocre white dude trying to forcibly mold an asian woman into his stereotypical asian girl fantasy because he doesn’t view them as individual humans, just a walking projection, a live action prop for his anime spank bank. It would be more sad (not that it already isn’t extremely so) if it weren’t so cliche. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 01:44 AM |
| 197 | Had a conversation with a male friend today that confirmed FDS strategiesGod this is so... sociopathic. The ease at which he casually mentions he used this woman, knows she cares about him, and could care less. He’s talking about her as if she’s a pair of pants he’s tried on and decided he doesn’t care for because they don’t fit right. And all because she expressed an emotion (god forbid!) towards him, the guy who didn’t mind taking her body in the most intimate way possible, then discard her like garbage. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 01:39 AM |
| 5 | Need some advice: met a gentleman who turned out to be a pervert. Not sure if I’m handling this right.It doesn’t matter whether or not he’s a pervert, what’s important is how his behavior makes you feel. If you’re uncomfortable with the types of comments he’s making then that’s all the justification you need to remove him from your personal life. He may be a coworker but nobody is entitled access to your personal life without your consent. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 03:49 AM |
| 13 | They always come back! Dropped me the day before Christmas after hooking up with me= I blocked him. Reached out in Tinder Story in commentsAlso spending the second and third date talking about his sadness 90% of the time is a huge 🚩 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 03:26 AM |
| 1 | Has this already been posted? LolYeah, and its not like those assholes are going to pay for any beauty treatments either. It’s all supposed to come at our expense - financial, emotional, physical - for their maximum benefit 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 10:51 PM |
| 2 | Oh wellThis is a winning strategy right here. He says “oh I’m so terrible, why are you even with me?”, old me would’ve sat and comforted him. But saying “yeah, you’re right, bye” instead is suuuuuch a better option! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/20 06:47 AM |
| 1 | Who here can relate?Girl same | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/20 06:42 AM |
| 21 | Can’t believe this is even a question. Just goes to show selfish men can really be.Fuck this piece of shit. Someone who truly cares for you will want to share their successes with you. Any decent person who makes enough money and can afford it would want to share that experience with the person they’re supposed to love the most. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/20 08:35 AM |
| 94 | Who here can relate?Can you even imagine being raised to believe that you are inherently smarter than an entire half of the population on this Earth? That this was a fact as natural and indisputable as gravity? I don’t even know what that would be like. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/20 08:17 AM |
| 2 | Very pleased with every man in the comment section claiming this is 100% her choiceI mean, I totally agree that financial independence is such an important goal for us to strive for, but in the world we live in, most of us are one or two big emergencies away from being in a similar position to this poor woman. She could’ve been the most financially literate woman in the world and suddenly had a medical emergency for example, rendering her bankrupt. And then this absolute piece of shit garbage human being would still take advantage of her. I think in addition to investing in fi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/20 07:47 AM |
| 22 | The real reason FDS pisses people off so muchExactly! A hit dog will always holler | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/08/20 12:17 PM |
| 3 | Is it just me, or is most couples' advice from therapists/psychologists/counselors just goddamn AWFUL for women??Ugh... chilling! I’m immediately skeptical of men in psychology lol this is why!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/08/20 07:51 AM |
| 7 | Post from /trueoffmychest shows the reality of how men can take decades to learn that you deserve better than them.This sounds like some shit men would say when they renew their wedding vows | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/20 11:43 AM |
| 26 | Is it just me, or is most couples' advice from therapists/psychologists/counselors just goddamn AWFUL for women??And also because people assume therapy is a healing balm for shitty behavior (newsflash, it’s not like a pill, you can’t just go and automatically become a better person lmao. And ofc people who see nothing wrong with their behavior, rarely change. Guess which gender more often falls into that category 🙂) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/20 11:39 AM |
| 33 | Is it just me, or is most couples' advice from therapists/psychologists/counselors just goddamn AWFUL for women??Going to therapy and/or learning about therapeutic terms online just makes abusers better equipped to abuse. Because now they have lingo and mind tricks to justify their behavior and paint themselves as the victim. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/20 11:36 AM |
| 4 | The Abusive Man in Argumentsreading this excerpt made me feel so sad, remembering my terrible NVM ex. This could perfectly describe almost all of our interactions, except he rarely walked away, instead choosing to berate me for hours. Of course it didn’t begin this way. Looking back, early warning signs I noticed were sulking behavior, a tendency to self-describe, almost joyously, as “addicted to sadness”, and an extremely competitive personality. He bragged about how much better, specifically smarter, he was than others. … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 11:11 PM |
| 6 | The Abusive Man in ArgumentsTherapists are rarely educated in matters concerning abusive relationships, especially emotionally/verbally abusing ones. It’s sad. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 11:08 PM |
| 30 | “You’re so sensitive”Men will find a way to pre-emptivlely blame you for their lack of empathy | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/08/20 11:48 PM |
| 19 | What to do?let that disgust propel you far, far away from ever interacting with him, and guys like him in the future! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/20 02:42 PM |
| 73 | What to do?This guy doesn’t respect any of your boundaries, and tries to shame you with insults when you tell him no. The flag could not be more red girl. Block and delete | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/20 02:38 PM |
| 18 | "My fiancé infantilizes me and is generally unsympathetic towards my issues. Also, we have two kids together and we aren't married."Omg this ^ It’s not even “debating” for them because that would entail listening to your point and coming up with a counterpoint based on what you said. They just want a receptacle to scream their nonsense into over and over. Have personally found this trait to be more common in men who self-describe as “highly intelligent” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/20 05:26 AM |
| 5 | This was empowering to watch. If you aren’t getting what you deserve, dump his ass!!I feel the same way. The concept itself is cute but the way it’s utilized is for a lot of men to break apart what loving should really be (an all encompassing, mixture of all 5 “languages” and more) and making it seem normal to only give one. And coincidentally, the one they choose. Because yeah if you say yours is “gifts” then all hell breaks loose. And if you say you want all of them, suddenly you’re greedy, and demanding too much. But what’s new, men appropriating psychological concepts to ju… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/20 03:36 AM |
| 37 | Why do men expect women to take equal responsibility for violence, pedophilia, and rape despite glaring statistics showing otherwise? I'm so sick of ITs NOt aLL mEN. The overwhelming majority committing these crimes are men. Are they just delusional???They cry “not all men” because their ego matters more than your experiences. Also, they just want you to shut the f*ck up | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/08/20 03:56 AM |
| 8 | Yes, relationships REQUIRE effort...Jfc so many of them literally want to contribute and do nothing in their relationships, just lay back and receive 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/08/20 03:52 AM |
| 24 | Then again, alot of males wouldn’t tolerate their daughter being treated the way they themselves treat womenThis is a really interesting suggestion. It’s kind of like the whole “tell a guy harassing you that you already have a boyfriend” thing. Because men will forever respect and acknowledge other men’s wants and needs (“he wanted to provide for me”) over ours (“I want a man to provide for me”). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/08/20 03:13 AM |
| 7 | I am... appalledSo he belittles her feelings, tries to erase her identity and lived experience, projects his shitty white guilt onto her (“you’re just as privileged as me!”), gives her the silent treatment, with the exception of trying to initiate sex. Great, we’ve got a real winner here 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/08/20 02:30 PM |
| 8 | Why are strip clubs the norm?LOL true, the likelihood of an entire friend group being HVM is probably pretty low. I guess it just comes down to balance, no? Like, there’s a big difference between a guy’s best man oogling Instagram models and one who has felony sexual assault charges on his record. Obvious extreme example, but ultimately choosing the standards that work for you, and more importantly keeping them even right up until the wedding (and beyond) is what’s important. If a guy pulls LVM shit that crosses your bounda… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/08/20 02:13 PM |
| 19 | Why are strip clubs the norm?I would vet my boyfriends close friends before getting engaged. We tend to absorb the traits of the people closest to us. If his friends are dirty misogynists, chances are good that he is, too, despite what he might say to or how he acts around you | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/08/20 11:40 AM |
| 22 | I can't help but feel like I'm being fetishized when I get messages like this“Thirding” (didn’t know how to say but seconding doesn’t cut it since I’m commenter #3 but anyways, as a fellow Asian I have to agree: trust your gut instinct | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/08/20 11:33 AM |
| 4 | I can't help but feel like I'm being fetishized when I get messages like this“Thirding” (didn’t know how to say but seconding doesn’t cut it since I’m commenter #3 but anyways, as a fellow Asian I have to agree: trust your gut instinct | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/08/20 11:33 AM |
| 5 | A train wreck of a tinder profile. From shaming other women to embarrassing his ex to requiring women to be his “savior” (aka therapist).Lmao, ew. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/20 07:43 AM |
| 16 | Just got back from a first date where the guy have some sort of eating disorder and made a whole scene about splitting the bill. So awkwardYeah the sudden volume change at the end, is a what the fuck level of disgusting. Dude is so opinionated over the price of two appetizers and maybe some drinks? You’d think he’d have some extra cash lying around, since he doesn’t seem to feed himself very much/often. It would be funnier if it weren’t so sad. Men raise their voices when they feel like they aren’t being obeyed. Clearly the loser has massive control issues. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/20 03:48 AM |
| 23 | Guy trying to ‘change’ date plansI’m also a foreigner living in Japan, and have friends living here and in Korea too. These stories really resonate. I think it just goes to show that even when men in a certain culture are socialized to meet X standard for dating, the second they feel they can cut corners, they will. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/20 12:08 AM |
| 27 | Their opinions change depending on how it benefits themMen who terrorize their families through the court system have a special place in hell reserved for them. So sorry you had to experience this | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/20 05:03 AM |
| 2 | The guy I was dating gaslighted me about my own boundary regarding Instagram ModelsOmg yes totally! The no shame factor just adds an extra layer of suckiness to the behavior | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/07/20 08:32 AM |
| 89 | I see no liesEh I don’t know if men even do “protect” though. Mate guard, sure, but that’s just for their own ego and insecurities. I’ve seen so many prank videos where the pranker jumps out/chases an unsuspecting couple (for example), and so many men run like hell, not even bothering to help the woman they’re with, lol. It makes you wonder what a lot of men would really do in a true crisis situation, despite action and hero movies pumping up their collective ego about what “heroes” and “kings” they all are.… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/20 11:25 PM |
| 3 | “He called me Mom during sex” The biggest pickmeisha/cockholm syndrome sub is FULL of that kind of stuff.Amen 😩 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/20 11:19 PM |
| 8 | “He called me Mom during sex” The biggest pickmeisha/cockholm syndrome sub is FULL of that kind of stuff.It does sting ): the tendency to self-blame is what we’ve been programmed to do, but I don’t think it’s our fault. The experience of being a woman means being groomed since childhood to overlook and even accept subpar treatment. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/20 10:59 PM |
| 35 | “He called me Mom during sex” The biggest pickmeisha/cockholm syndrome sub is FULL of that kind of stuff.Haha yesss exactly! Also, she mentioned that he ignored her afterwards, which is more evidence that men don’t have some magic “power off” switch once they orgasm, its simply that they’re done with what they wanted you for, so they’re essentially making you go away. Which mimics the relationship a lot of boys have with their real moms (“go away, leave me alone”) 🙂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/20 01:31 PM |
| 59 | The guy I was dating gaslighted me about my own boundary regarding Instagram ModelsVomit, this guy sucks. Dudes who have nothing better to do than spend their time lusting over IG models have a whole truckload of other, bigger issues that you’re much better off without. Glad you saved yourself!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/20 01:03 PM |
| 31 | LVM makes gf have sex with his two friends then treats her like shit and manipulates her because of itExactly. And women are socialized to accept male abuse (gaslighting, invalidation, people pleasing) even in non abusive situations, so it’s that much easier for the brain to acclimate to an actually abusive situation, if you haven’t done work/gained awareness of how these power dynamics play out, and building a self esteem that doesn’t rely on male validation. No judgment at all though, I’ve been in similar situations | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/20 12:55 PM |
| 144 | “He called me Mom during sex” The biggest pickmeisha/cockholm syndrome sub is FULL of that kind of stuff.“Afterwards, he rolled over and went to sleep” — good lord, I feel so awful, like viscerally gut wrenching awful for women who accept this as the norm. Could it be any clearer he’s just using your holes to masturbate into? Why is this normalized? lol like how can men even claim to be sexually attracted to women when they don’t even like to have sex with a woman? Not to mention the deprivation and dismissal of her emotional needs, dehumanization of her a human, etc etc. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/20 12:08 PM |
| 16 | Blocked him immediatelyYeah they’re quick to dehumanize women on the basis of whether they get all their needs met immediately and without question, so by that point it doesn’t even register to them as losing a match | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 08:55 AM |
| 5 | Beware of#himpathy: when a man only cares about women's issues as it relates to women in his life (wife, mother, daughter,etc.) Ex: His daughter is part "him" and therefore suddenly she counts in a way no other woman did before/ learned empathy when having a daughter/etc.Totally. Also, soo many guys who use this possessiveness as an excuse to assert their masculinity eg starting fights “because someone talked bad about my mom/sister” — no, they just want more tough guy points and justification to physically hurt another human being. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 05:00 AM |
| 1 | notice the double standardHaha very true. We know this, but ofc a lot of men don’t 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/20 10:48 PM |
| 17 | notice the double standardSame, the hormonal issues are so frustrating. I can’t remember the last time I ate over 800 cal a day, and men still feel the need to comment on how “fat for an asian” I am. Meanwhile, they love to watch videos of skinny asians stuffing their face and think that’s the norm for what we all need to look like to be desirable | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/20 05:25 AM |
| 2 | Man is pissed at his wife that she turned off his game (he asks why. she said it’s all he does. He says it’s all he has.) Everyone in the comments is pissed at her but it looks like it’s Mother's day and she just wants to spend time with him.Ugh what a pos.. 🤮glad you’re out of that mess! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/20 01:39 PM |
| 14 | Promise Rings- Do they mean anything?This . I thought promise rings were cute back in the day, but thankfully have grown up to see the true intention, which is to breadcrumb you with a token into staying and overlooking his unavailable tendencies because you think a “real” commitment is now on the table for you in the near future. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/20 02:17 AM |
| 17 | Thoughts on engagement etiquette?I would’ve mentally checked out when he said “well my perspective is that...” And for good reason, too. What a gross, lazy take on something that should be a beautiful symbol of partnership. The “what about me ):” is not gonna get this dude far with HVW. Sadly, he’ll probably find some naive woman who’ll do this for him 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/20 02:11 AM |
| 23 | Why Gamers are LVMAmazing! So true. The culture of men’s gaming circles is so toxic, the rhetoric is misogynistic, racist, and ableist. Dated so many gamers who would routinely make fun of autism/disabilities, homosexuality, and of course, anything and everything related to women. Their self esteem is both despairingly low and narcissistically high, they need that dopamine hit and ego boost from winning yet their insecurity keeps them hooked to that supply because they’re unable to and eventually unwilling to for… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/20 01:42 AM |
| 3 | Do I tell men that I have these things wrong with me?I agree with all the other women saying that there’s nothing wrong with you (but once more: there’s nothing wrong with you!!!). Don’t buy into the convoluted male-generated myth of what constitutes a woman, it’s all self-serving crap for them anyways. Maybe you don’t have the preferred breasts and sexual experience of men who jerk off all day to pornhub, but if you did, the loser men who would value you simply for those traits would just be objectifying you anyways, and you deserve better than t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/20 01:01 PM |
| 20 | Man is pissed at his wife that she turned off his game (he asks why. she said it’s all he does. He says it’s all he has.) Everyone in the comments is pissed at her but it looks like it’s Mother's day and she just wants to spend time with him.“It’s all I have,” he says to his WIFE for gods sake...this man who looks like a thumb could not be any more offensive and petulant. This behavior is honestly disgusting. Imagine being married to someone who always puts you in second (or third or fourth) place, for a damn video game, and has no reservations about telling you that to your face. If that’s all they think they have, then get a divorce, and let them truly be alone with their beloved, better than putting up with such disrespect | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/20 12:34 PM |
| 55 | He might as well put up his resume. Someone loves himself a little too much...You just know this is the type of man who, if you’re unlucky enough to be on a date with, would never shut the fuck up about himself the entire time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/07/20 05:26 AM |
| 11 | Nothing but teaI don’t know if this exclusively applies to men who label themselves “dominant” either. Kinda seems like the whole unresponsive to your needs + using your body to masturbate thing is par for the course as far as male sexuality goes. Yes, there are some who don’t do this. But they’re rare, and, at least in my experience, often huge egomaniacs who do it more so for their own satisfaction (“I’m so good at making women cum”), than for the satisfaction of their partner. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/07/20 03:36 AM |
| 3 | Don't be an unpaid therapist for men who never learned healthy coping mechanismsThis is very true. A smart, manipulative man who learns how to appropriate the language of therapy (or any other such self help practice, such as spirituality, holistic living, etc) to his benefit is extremely dangerous. Therapy often makes men better, stronger, smarter abusers. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/06/20 02:04 PM |
| 155 | The males are falling apart because COVID19 is forcing them to actually parent their kids nowThis is definitely a thing. Men love to martyr themselves for doing the bare minimum of having a job, and then wield it over the heads of anyone who tries to hold them accountable (usually women, go figure). “I work so hard, you don’t appreciate me, I do everything to provide for this family”, meanwhile the wife works essentially five jobs at once and isn’t allowed to complain. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/06/20 01:44 PM |
| 8 | When a woman in a relationship with a man finally snaps...The history and foundation of mental health is inherently male, and was often used as a way to control women and people of color. Calling women “hysterical” is literally woven into the fabric of therapeutic practice. It’s really difficult to find a therapist, especially a marriage therapist, who operates from an understanding of social inequality and how misogyny takes shape within interpersonal relationships. Because we’re taught to view each partner as essentially equal (“it takes two to tango… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/06/20 10:28 PM |
| 22 | When a woman in a relationship with a man finally snaps...Marriage therapy is scarily overrated. I trained to be a marriage therapist my entire life, but stopped when I realized how inherently misogynistic the entire institution is. The horror stories start from the education you receive, to the pedagogy of your classmates, to just how the world generally views women’s role in relationships to begin with. I don’t wish marriage counseling on anyone, 9/10 the woman is being abused and there truly is no “fixing” an abusive man. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/06/20 11:47 AM |
| 21 | Sometimes I think to myself “It would be nice to be married” but then I see stuff like this and say to myself: “nah.”This doesn’t sound like a “prank” so much as a manipulative gotcha trap and justification for gaslighting women and treating them like shit. Because obviously no one is going to make the “say it nicer” comment when a woman is already happy/in a good mood/feeling loved, etc. The “say it nicer” only comes out when she expresses legitimately hurt/upset feelings. This minimization/dismissal of her feelings builds up over time and leads to resentment. And of course, the recorded instance is hardly th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 04:28 AM |
| 14 | I am scared and don't know what to doGirl this behavior sounds manipulative af. He’s trying to see how high you’ll jump for him, how much emotional control he can have over you. Don’t. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/06/20 05:00 AM |
| 29 | After reading "Why Does he do That?" by Lundy Bancroft, I have started noticing how often abusive strategies are used by dominant classes (men, whites, ultra-wealthy) to maintain power, and preserve their ability to use and control others.The personal is political. Abusive relationships are just smaller versions (two people) of the abuse carried out by powerful groups in society. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/06/20 10:02 AM |
| 47 | The "cool girl" monologue from Gone Girl has stuck with me long after I watched the movie. Even though Amy Dunne is crazy, her madness touches on the trope I know we've all heard praised or even tried to aspire to.“Society wants women to completely lose themselves to become everything that someone else wants” — yes, and if you make any request whatsoever to a man that he treat you like a) a human being and b) a human being he actually likes and respects (such as “please spend time with me”) his retort will always be that you’re forcing him to lose himself somehow. Men will resent and retaliate against anyone who “tries to make him change who he is”. The rhetoric, the narrative, conventional logic, is alwa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/06/20 02:13 AM |
| 14 | The audacity. THE AUDACITY!Probably around the “me” stage of childhood development. There comes a time when all children begin to learn about their “self” and develop an ego with regards to who they are in the family, in society, the world, etc. They start using words like “me” and “I” much more, and begin asserting themselves and their needs. Except, in little girls this trait is often squashed, as we’re taught not to whine, to share more, not be selfish, be fair, to empathize. In little boys, however, this trait is enco… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/06/20 07:00 AM |
| 24 | **LVM; it’s not even always ‘a taste of their own medicine’ it’s just saying ‘enough is enough’It’s weird how men hate their mothers for being too “demanding” but then go and essentially force their female partners to be their mom. Which just leads to them then hating and resenting their partner. It’s almost as if men need to hate women, rather than take any accountability for their life | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/06/20 06:18 AM |
| 8 | Why are men so willing to let a great woman go and not make any effort? I can’t wrap my head around it.Ugh, men who think like this have mashed potatoes for brains. As if intelligence itself is some singular measurement ranging from low to high. I’ve met men who were truly brilliant in one subject, but god forbid I know more than them on any other subject - except for cooking and cleaning and makeup, of course - or else their insecurity comes roaring and they try to sabotage you. I’m so sorry that jerk wasted 4 years of your life, but good for you for leaving!! A very smart decision ;) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/20 10:39 PM |
| 60 | Why are men so willing to let a great woman go and not make any effort? I can’t wrap my head around it.This is so true. I knew a guy in college who used to say he needed a smart woman in his life, but that he would never marry a woman who was smarter than him. He’s now married. I feel sorry for his wife. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/20 10:19 AM |
| 5 | How to tell you're being fetishized for your race?I think what the women here have already commented pretty much nailed it down 🙌🏼 The only thing I’d add to this list is to keep an eye on the type of women within your race he looks at/prefers/has dated/likes on ig etc. No race is a monolith in terms of outward physical features. For example, not all Asian women look the same, even within the same country. By that, I mean a Korean woman is likely going to have different features from a Thai woman, and even within Korea and Thailand, there’s lots… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/06/20 03:16 AM |
| 12 | What are some orange flags you’ve learned to watch out for?Exactly. There are no “orange flags/yellow flags”. They’re all red as hell. Delete. Block. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/06/20 02:38 AM |
| 3 | Proof that FDS works , husband cheats wife with younger woman abandons her during her pregnancy , wife goes full FDS instead of cOmuNIcaTE and cOUnseLIng ,demands all and half of his paycheck , scrote regrets comes back begging .Because men are socialized to believe that women are inherently irrational, nags, bitches, etc, so to them, it’s not even an assumption/mind reader/false perception/projection in their minds to jump to these conclusions, it’s “lOgIcAl” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/20 01:50 AM |
| 3 | Nothing but truthExactly. For them, our pain is the kink. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/20 12:41 AM |
| 2 | Do you think women are more likely to be pickmes than men, and that women care more about male validation than men care about female validation?THIS! I came here to comment the same thing, but I’m glad someone else did it first. I have nothing against queer men. I do, however, find myself wondering often if it is even possible, given the society we live in and subsequently the socialization men are inescapably subjected to, for men to truly love a woman. It appears that what men love, what they value and crave and seek, are other men. What men use, are other women. Using, degrading, objectifying, abusing, are not adjectives of love. Wom… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/05/20 11:05 AM |
| 9 | Elon musk LVM tweeted “take the red pill” and Grimes mom called him out.☝🏼very underrated red flag | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/05/20 03:06 PM |
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