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N3wY34rN3wM3 Archive

View 4 posts and 204 comments by N3wY34rN3wM3 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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21

You are goals and your username is accurate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/22 11:54 PM
36

I would not recommend looking to celebs as relationship examples. You never know if the relationship is real or if it's for PR or some other business motive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 10:54 PM
1

Mind sending me a chat request? I think your's is disabled.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 02:51 PM
1

Hello! I just wanted to say that I notice we browse the same subs and have the same traits (childfree, no marriage) and wanted to ask if you're open to chat?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 02:19 AM
45

My mom is like this. My sympathy for her has died for a while now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 11:27 AM
46

I agree with whitefox00. You're not crazy at all. Better to take a longer time to vet him than to repeat your parents marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 04:17 AM
171

Yeah I've also completely let go of the notion of finding "the one" and it's made my life so much more peaceful. Also, the family issue you bring up is something that's been on my mind for a while. Another user here mentioned that you date him, but you marry his family, and of course it's better to have a good relationship with his family. However, if you look at the subs pertaining to in-laws, sometimes it can be a total nightmare to deal with LV in-laws. The older I get, the less inclined I am…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 02:16 PM
57

I feel like the older I get, the less I'm offended by getting called cold by others. Once I stopped caring what other people think of me, getting called cold just signals to me that I can think logically, do a quick costs/benefits analysis, and can control my emotions. I'm getting to the point where if I get labeled as a cold-hearted b*tch, it just means they can't f with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 04:01 AM
19

I hear you. My dad isn't this bad yet, but he's still a terrible excuse for a human being. Whenever I try to convince my mom to divorce him, she refuses and insists she's fine. There's not much you can do to "fix" your family, but I really hope you're able to find a way to move out and live independently. That's what I'm working towards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 03:52 PM
6

Saving this comment as a future reminder for when my friends are getting married and I need to remember all the peace that I'll have not having to deal with issues down the line.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 02:34 AM
8

Finally someone said it! Sometimes I feel bad because I feel like i get more judgemental as I grow older but that's because my critical thinking skills are improving and I know how to think for myself now as opposed to my teens. Some people are so open-minded, they sound like their brains actually fell out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 12:52 AM
32

Wow, I'm actually mind-blown by your point. Now that you explain it, no wonder many users have previously said that religion is by men for men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 03:21 AM
14

May I PM you for more life advice since you've shared many golden nuggets of wisdom with this sub?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 01:45 AM
12

Thank you for discussing this topic in detail! It's been on my mind for some time now and I'm happy to see others thinking this way as well. I'm gen Z and I already share your perspective. I used to dream of a fairy tale wedding in my late teens in my first relationship, but the older I get, and the longer this pandemic fuels hyperinflation, I've pretty much completely lost interest in marriage or a wedding at this point (not bashing anyone who wants one). I feel like my money mindset has mature…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 04:53 AM
6

Queen Katie Kat, your comments are one of my favourite things to read here :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 09:19 PM
8

I feel you so much. This is why I avoid going to family get togethers as much as possible. Because each time we get together, I feel like an audience member in a very depressing family reality show, watching a middle-aged man act like a teen. Don't feel bad for walking out on Christmas, I would have probably done the same thing if I were you. Being HV means accepting the situation and your dad as it is and setting firm boundaries where necessary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 06:28 PM
24

I've been feeling the same lately. I can't listen to sad songs or breakup songs anymore. I think that's why I've been enjoying Lorde - Yellow Flicker Beat, Magnets, and Everybody Wants to Rule the World. They're my power songs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 02:13 AM
10

And the more society pushed, I pushed back even harder. I absolutely love your staunch childfree attitude here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 01:43 AM
9

You really are a queen and we are so proud of how much you've achieved! I really wish my mom had the courage to get a divorce, but I'm still hoping it'll happen one day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 01:18 AM
1

People are always saying “Well, a marriage is work.” Excuse me, but if I’m not being monetarily compensated, I don’t work. I find that emotional labor is (and, rightfully so) expected to be done out of love and therefore, for free. But, am I the type of person who works for free? No. So, because it is so oft acknowledged that a marriage is “hard work”, and I know I don’t like to work, much less for free, I’m not going to stress myself about getting married, or even being in a relationship with a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 03:51 PM
10

Thanks for sharing the story, you made my day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 01:44 AM
26

Can I just say that although I understand that "women should be able to choose", choosing to be a SAHM is like putting a deadbolt on a door, and I give up trying to understand why anyone would want to do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 07:03 PM
27

Beth Harmon for the win!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 01:10 AM
18

Oh yes, time has definitely changed many things. I'm an older gen Z living in one of North America's most expensive cities and I don't know how my generation would otherwise be able to afford moving out of our parents' house if we don't have multiple streams of income in this day and age. Sometimes I wonder what life was like years ago when one summer job could actually cover most of tuition for one term and when the inflation rate wasn't so high 😂.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 12:39 PM
48

Just wanted to say thanks for sharing your experiences. I hope to be able to find a HVM like your second husband one day, but if not, I'll stay single. Also, from some of your other comments on this sub, you sound like you're living my dream future life with your multiple income streams.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 03:46 AM
18

Just wanted to say that if you'd like an internet stranger to keep you company, I'm here. I've been in a similar situation as your third sentence and I know what it feels like to feel as if your life is falling apart, so feel free to reach out if you need to. Otherwise, I hope you're able to cope and heal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 10:57 PM
8

As much as I advocate for women having choices, there are some choices that have a much higher risk than others, so I agree with you in saying that being a SAHM is a very vulnerable position. That would be my worst nightmare.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 07:05 PM
1

Kudos to you for planning on adopting. There are so many children out there who deserve to have loving parents :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 09:45 PM
27

Completely agree! I'm out of college now and I've changed so much since the start. I look back at old journal entries sometimes and can see how young and inexperienced I was back then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:34 PM
39

I can totally relate! I've changed so much within the past few years and felt myself drifting apart from some friends I made earlier because we are at different stages in life, have developed different values and beliefs. I'm glad I don't believe in forever anymore, because otherwise I would have been so disappointed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 12:16 PM
27

Do you think Carli is gonna be a forever girlfriend? I remember the comments under the video of her and her boyfriend about how they knew he was gonna be the one, and how he was blushing when asked when he was gonna propose. I'm assuming it's not gonna happen, but then again I haven't been following their relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 09:11 PM
16

I have been thinking the same thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 10:56 AM
5

There was this girl back in high school who bragged about sugaring and getting designer (Coach, Guess, Michael Kors) bags from her sugar daddies because, at that age, those brands were considered a luxury. Flash forward a few years and I know people who are regularly flashing Gucci and LV on social media. It really is sad knowing that there are teen girls putting their careers at risk because money really does increase with time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 01:14 AM
22

10/10 response
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 10:17 PM
3

That'd be a great book title and I'd buy it LOL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 05:49 PM
89

"Single, child-free, and happy at 61" goals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:12 PM
5

I just searched it up and I cannot believe it is a challenge.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 11:40 PM
11

Same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 08:23 PM
5

I hope to create a business one day in the future 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 06:02 PM
14

I feel so sorry for her. It sucks that she's in that situation, but as someone who's similar to her age, I understand why she's thinking that. I think the fear of being alone is a big part of it. Before I discovered FDS and when I was still with my ex, I was jumping through hoops to stay with him because I was convinced that we had a future together. We only had one thing in common and I remember molding myself and compromising on so many of my values to stay with him. Looking back, I'm glad tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 02:14 AM
52

Right? There are so many things wrong with a "pandemic baby". Why bring another human into a world already going down the drain?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 09:22 PM
7

I had the same thought. While I get the main message of this post is to encourage women to date with serious intention, I also think that for those of us who don't care about marriage can stay single and keep levelling up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 02:48 AM
7

Thanks for being supportive. Tbh I just wanted to know how many other women out here don't care much about marriage and children, so I'm glad to see now that although this is technically a dating sub, there are others who are not following the life script.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 06:34 PM
11

I was considering writing a post about being marriage-free and childfree and I'm so happy to see how many other women here are the same :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 04:03 PM
15

Right? Although there's nothing wrong with women wanting a grand wedding ceremony, the idea of having the "perfect" wedding day just gives me anxiety because most of my major life events haven't really gone with what was planned. And same, especially considering the current economy that the world is in, I'd much rather invest in a decent home than a ring. Wedding rings are nice and all, but I would be scared to accidentally lose it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 08:45 PM
23

I've been stuck at home with family since the quarantine started and I'm dreaming of a future where I live with a few pets and no one else. Whereas some people are afraid to be alone, I also much rather be by myself than be with naysayers and others preventing me from reaching my dreams.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 01:19 AM
15

Yes to all of this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 12:14 AM
25

Exactly! I have a bunch more thoughts about SAHMs, but to me, it's always seemed more libfem than radfem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 11:50 PM
32

Same here, I'm too scared of pregnancy to have biological kids. I'd rather adopt or foster if I really wanted kids in the future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 10:56 PM
155

This is why I don't get women who want to be SAHMs. I get that they want a family and to take care of their children, but putting yourself in a situation where you're one man away from poverty is extremely risky, especially in today's age. We do not live in a fairytale, we live in reality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 05:03 PM
4

Saving this and making your life my goal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 02:56 AM
5

I might just try this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 02:20 AM
3

Thanks so much for sharing this. Can I PM you about how you've reached financial freedom? I'm graduating while there's still a pandemic going on, so I'm trying my best to get a stable start in my career.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 02:03 AM
2

Yes, this is so important.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 01:44 AM
5

Is it better to marry in your early 30s?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 01:07 AM
3

Flashback to my previous relationship gosh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:59 PM
6

Outgrowing people hurts a lot, but it's so worth it in the long term.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 04:11 PM
24

Wow, we have the same dream!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 04:35 AM
19

Ever since I discovered that romance movies/novels were created by men to keep women brainwashed, I lost all interest in that. Also, weddings are hyped up to be the pinnacle of a woman's dreams, but now that I look at it, if the start of your marriage is the best day of your life...isn't that actually sad? Your life certainly doesn't end when you get married and you should be enjoying the rest of your marriage, not just your wedding day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 10:17 PM
30

Please do it! I save those kinds of posts often and I'm interested in reading yours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 05:04 PM
6

Your life sounds like a dream come true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 03:00 AM
18

Sometimes I wonder if a day will ever come when these women wake up and realize there's more to life than finding the "right" man to marry. It's sad to know so many women are still stuck in the deep brainwashing of the patriarchy when they could be having fun doing so many other things in life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:03 AM
8

I also found a condensed version of the book: here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 02:43 PM
7

Love your analysis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 04:48 AM
3

Thanks for sharing the blog posts, they're great :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 12:50 AM
6

Can I read your thesis? I'm so interested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 02:44 AM
10

Yup. This is the reason why I'm keeping to myself and staying detached from guys while the pandemic/quarantine is still going on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 07:05 PM
10

I have the same question. It boggles my mind why some couples would have another baby when they're already under so much stress.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 12:44 AM
10

I used to dream of having a huge wedding, wearing a beautiful bridal dress, and hosting a huge party. Now I am the same as you. Then I realized it was too ridiculous for me to spend 20k on a one-day event even if it's a life milestone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 12:31 AM
26

You should definitely look into starting that. I've also been trying to brainstorm more proactive ways women can help each other leave abusive relationships and you have a really great idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 10:04 PM
15

It's like we dated the same guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 07:04 PM
3

I agree!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 02:00 PM
3

Oh I did not know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 01:57 PM
7

Adding another golden nugget of life advice to my saved posts, thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 10:10 PM
28

May I ask how you've changed in the past 4 years?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 03:31 AM
2

Which brand/product do you use?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 01:07 AM
2

Weird...I'll try again. If it doesn't work, we can always wait a day or something if Reddit isn't working.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 06:46 PM
1

Hey girl, I PMed you, please check.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 05:42 PM
4

YAS GIRL YAS. You do you <3. I wholeheartedly agree with everything you've said :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 11:19 PM
3

YOU TELL HIM THAT!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 08:46 PM
9

No wonder I couldn't see the other comments. I thought there was something wrong with my account or web browser. And I feel you. Growing up, my dad constantly criticized me for being so skinny, but it's just my genetics. In the past few years, my goal is to just stay healthy and dress in a way that suits my body. I've stopped caring about everything else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 03:37 PM
41

This sounds more like love-bombing to me than a genuine connection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 03:40 AM
1

Unfortunately, the financial planning/accounting/tax preparation industries have lobbied successfully to keep financial literacy out of education standards. If we were taught how to handle our money those industries would shrink drastically. For real? O_O
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 12:03 AM
2

I've read Smart Girls Marry Money before and was reading the chapter about "true love" talking about "temporal insanity", which described the process of falling in love as just a feel good happy hormone that makes a person irrational. That chapter really awoken me to the reality of what happens when a person "falls in love" and tbh now, I've started regarding modern marriages as legally binding agreements based on emotional feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 03:04 PM
14

Education has nothing to do with school. I learnt more from books than at school and I have a bachelor degree I've been meaning to say this for so long, thanks for putting it out there! So I don't meant to bash other women because I have huge respect to those who have completed higher education (masters, PhD's) but one thought I've been having lately is that doing well in academia doesn't automatically mean that person is street smart or all-rounded strategic. It's been said a few times that eve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 08:20 PM
7

nice username
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 02:32 AM
2

I'm genuinely curious, what's so bad about Ukraine? Feel free to pm it to me if you prefer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 11:19 PM
1

If you truly know you’re a solid character as a woman & find yourself lonely or don’t seem to fit in....it’s likely you have a higher purpose to spearhead change with other ‘outliers’. Thanks so much for saying this. I needed to see this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 08:47 PM
4

I'm sorry you went through all that. I'm in my early 20s and I've been in a 2yr relationship before, but my ex was desperate enough for sex that he never made me feel insecure about my body. Since I have a rectangular shape, I'm already insecure about the more visible parts of my body to worry about my intimate parts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 01:13 AM
55

Tbh I'm shocked that so many women are insecure about how their vagina looks. If a guy ever makes a negative comment about my vagina, I'll just happily replace him with a vibrator. Men don't get to make me insecure about my most intimate parts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 12:01 AM
29

Any recs?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 09:32 PM
10

Statistics wise, the risks that marriage bring for women completely outweigh the rewards. If you're tied up to a man who turns out to be LVM after starting a family with him, having bank accounts and sharing assets, it's gonna be really hard to get out without getting screwed over. I'd rather stay single and if I decide I want kids in the future, I'll just adopt because there's so many abandoned children out there who deserve to be in a loving family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 05:08 PM
31

Yup, I found out shortly after my last breakup what the true intentions of two close ex-friends were, ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 12:21 AM
4

When a man does all these nice things upfront for you, it has a good reason. And often that reason is, he's looking for his future bangmaid. Indirectly related, but this triggered a thought I had about marriage. So weddings are always hyped to be one of the biggest events in a person's life, especially for women. Most people have spent tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding, a white dress, etc, and vow to be life-long partners. That rarely happens though. Many marriages end up in divorce/sepa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 01:27 AM
5

I looked up Charlize Theron after seeing her mentioned in another earlier post and honestly she's a queen. She is HVW goals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 08:16 PM
12

Adding on to your point about social validation, sure others will approve of and respect your status of being married. But will it benefit you in the long run? If your marriage ends in divorce in the future, people's perception of you will change. And if your divorce screws you over, are you really gonna care about social validation? Life is too short to care about what other people think, if it benefits you, go ahead, if it doesn't, don't succumb to social pressures!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 08:06 PM
15

I was discussing with one of my friends about sociocultural dating norms and I think we should be able to criticize certain parts of cultures and religions without being labeled as a -phobe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 02:11 PM
4

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ewda9u/early_warning_signs_hes_low_value_when_dating/ https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/j3et1f/do_not_get_in_a_car_with_a_man_you_are_fighting/ https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/j37hux/just_because_a_decision_doesnt_feel_good_that/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 03:29 PM
15

Worst case, I hope your speculation is a "right" possibility. I used to be attracted to edgy narcissists years ago, but that was when I wasn't aware of my childhood trauma caused by my NVM dad. Still, murderers are something else entirely. Like I get the possibility that some women may be attracted to macho men, but a man who killed his entire family???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 01:11 AM
4

Can you DM me too?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 11:09 PM
16

I've been thinking the same thing. So I've been wondering: do most women want marriage and children because of heavy societal brainwashing or do they genuinely want them? Up until last year, I fantasized about getting married, having a large wedding ceremony, and walking down the aisle in a beautiful white dress. I imagined all of my friends and family attending and it would be a dream come true. Then my relationship came to an end. Then I discovered FDS. As I've been active on here for nearly a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 02:19 AM
7

LOL my nex once told me his second love language is acts of service. I soon realized our relationship was basically tit-for-tat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 02:41 AM
21

Honestly thanks for the reminder. I remember thinking I was so mature at the age of 18, but now that I'm almost done my college degree, I look back and realize I was just a kid back then. Sometimes I find myself looking back at my younger self with the rose-coloured lenses on and think what fun times back then, when I had a larger group of friends and could relate easier to my peers, but I like the person I am now. Although I'm surprised some of my peers are already getting married, I'll gladly …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 12:05 AM
42

Love reading about ambitions like yours :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 01:42 AM
17

That's honestly how I can picture myself saying my imaginary future vows.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 01:30 AM
48

Can we change "daddy issues" to "failed father" because I shouldn't be the one labelled to have issues when my Ndad failed to be a good father.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 10:40 PM
28

Early 20s college student here and can confirm that excessive technology use is definitely a problem in my generation. I have a friend who started a "textationship" around the start of quarantine and it basically played out just like OP described.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 03:41 AM
9

Glad I'm not the only one who thinks like this. Some days I really wish I was born a guy instead of a girl, not because of internal misogyny, but because guys have it so much easier. If they're somewhat more attractive than the average man and act "mature for their age", they can get women attracted to them. This is how low the bar is for them, while the bar is sky high for us. Imagine being a guy and being able to so easily impress women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 01:44 AM
6

Olga Unleashed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 12:13 AM
7

I recently discovered A Small Wardrobe after seeing her "CHILDLESS SINGLE FEMALE in 30s" video and I really like how her channel is focused on embracing minimalism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 04:54 PM
4

I feel like lately this sub has taught me there is no such thing as a HVM. They are all just living to whatever standards we allow them to be at. I've come to the same conclusion with some friends I've made here which is the reason why I'm staying childfree and only considering marriage as an option. If LVM/NVM can hide their true selves for decades, I'd rather be just focusing on myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 12:56 AM
19

It makes me so happy whenever I find more CF women on this sub who share the same reasons 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:26 PM
3

Since we're currently in a pandemic and everyone is in quarantine, I've felt this tendency become amplified with many people being alone. I usually have no issues maintaining strong friendships IRL, but even I've fallen into textationships to fill the void caused by self-isolation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 02:22 AM
4

Thanks so much for sharing! It's wonderful :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 02:22 AM
41

If he's too big for a condom, how on earth is he gonna fit into me?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:20 AM
10

That's what I was thinking as well! LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:45 PM
8

Girls, let them prove it. Test them. Catch them off guard. Attack their character. All over time, not on the first date, and in public, of course. See how they react. A shouting session today might be a black eye and cracked ribs in 2 months. YAS GIRL YAS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 03:48 PM
63

The most you'll hear older women reminisce about their youth is how much better their lives were back then because they weren't married and didn't have kids so they had their freedom. Saving this comment as a reminder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 07:16 PM
45

I will stand by the fact that men will marry placeholders until they think they found "the one". This makes me skeptical about proposals. Can I even take him seriously?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 03:18 PM
7

Thanks so much for sharing your story. I'm glad that you were able to find your HVM. I'm sorry that you went through so many traumatic experiences and I wish you well on your healing journey. Also can I PM you to share some of my thoughts?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 09:07 PM
4

I personally started to resent my family the older i get, because thanks to them I had to learn all the things on my own. I feel betrayed and let down by my family. Both genders made me early on have hate for marriage etc with their amazing examples of how not to. Thanks for being honest. I feel guilty for resenting my family sometimes, especially my Ndad who will never change, but am comforted by knowing that I'm not the only one who feels this way. I agree on learning from mistakes and growing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 02:42 AM
6

It just has the power to make it difficult to get out of. This is the reason why unless a woman is gaining actual benefits from getting married, I see no point of marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 04:38 AM
13

I'm about half your age and you are where I want to be in the future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 03:06 PM
12

You are goals :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 06:22 PM
2

I feel you, of course there needs to be balance. As much as I'd like to be cherished, guys who seem overly interested in me also make me question their motives sometimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 05:20 PM
10

The more non-fiction books I read, I've realized how our reality sucks, but I've reluctantly accepted it at this point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 02:58 PM
1

Thanks so much for the reading recommendations, definitely gonna look into them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 07:57 PM
11

I was actually about to suggest the same thing. I'm so impressed with the way the mods have handled this problem, with how they've regulated the growth of this sub, and how stunning the new web forum looks. I would be more than happy to donate to keep it going.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 02:59 PM
30

If anything happens before we're able to successfully relocate to another place, I just want to say this: LadyGrimes, you've been one of my favourite users in this sub and I've really enjoyed reading your stories and bits of wisdom. Thanks to you and all the older women in this sub, the younger generation that I'm in can learn invaluable life lessons without having to go through bad experiences ourselves. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 03:54 AM
28

Sometimes when I see posts about HVMs in others' lives, it gives me a glimmer of hope. The only problem is they seem like 1% of the population and I don't have the energy to filter out a beach of sand to find a diamond. I'd rather be single and focus on doing other things that don't take so much time and energy with so little success.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 03:44 AM
3

Is the best main alternative the discord or are there plans for another website?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 03:31 AM
1

All the best! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 04:43 PM
2

Since their discord says "Going through the verification process does NOT a guarantee an admission." Maybe they didn't think you were like-minded enough?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 04:40 PM
3

I'm giving you a round of applause behind my screen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 03:04 PM
14

Firstly, thank you for being there to support them. I'm in that age range and I've had many discussions with my friends who are from immigrant families regarding learning about childhood traumas, toxic behaviours, and boundaries. Things I wish I knew as a kid: Love and abuse are two mutually exclusive things that cannot exist together. Healthy parents don't abuse a child out of love. Many "grown-ups" haven't yet actually grown up. Do not "see the best in people", believe as they say and do. Some…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 06:40 PM
5

What's really funny is if you watch the rest of their tiktoks after that one, it's like they're trying to mitigate the bad publicity stunt. I'm laughing at them trying to save face with three "relationship goals" videos after that one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 05:58 PM
7

'Wife' meant servant earlier in history? I've always hated that word for no reason but I guess it's because I subconsciously associated it to how my dad treats my mom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 05:10 PM
3

I can totally understand your reluctance to be exclusive. That's really sad that his friend passed away, but I also get your suspicion. Also, can I PM you to talk about things like this? I just wanna rant sometimes, but I also don't want to derail topics in threads.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 05:45 PM
24

You make me feel relieved that I'm not the only one who feels this way. The more relationship stories, feminist books, and non-fiction books I read - and I read a lot - have made me a really cynical person. FDS is definitely a great tool for minimizing risk, but also the more I read this sub, the more I think about how tiring dating for a high quality guy must be for a woman. It's almost been a year since my last relationship ended and asides from the pandemic and quarantine that have both minim…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 05:27 PM
26

Sometimes I wonder if a day will come when people no longer feel pressured to marry in their late 20's and early 30s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 05:29 PM
6

Sometimes I think about wanting a relationship in the future, but I feel like I don't really wanna get married, mainly due to the fact that I grew up witnessing my parents barely tolerating each other - my dad's a narc and I feel sorry for my mom. I definitely want companionship, but whenever people mention marriage, I always think about the consequences first and the legal ramifications of having a divorce, which makes me repulsed from the idea. Also, I hope I don't offend anyone here, but why …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 04:35 AM
9

If someone ever comes up with a pill or something for turning into a lesbian, I'd gladly take it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 04:24 AM
5

He probably doesn't haha. Now that you've mentioned it, I'm laughing at the thought of what if he was unable to have children...LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 03:52 PM
79

Flashback to when my ex told me that "it's unacceptable to not have kids" LOL. Being single feels so good compared to having to deal with patriarchal expectations to have children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 01:17 AM
3

I really recommend reading Psychopath Free by Jackson MacKenzie, Power by Shahida Arabi and The Smart Girl's Guide to Self-Care by Shahida Arabi. Shahida Arabi has written many books on the topic of surviving and healing after narcissistic abuse and her IG is a good resource as well: https://www.instagram.com/selfcarewarrior/?hl=en FDS's self-help books are a great resource as well: https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/wiki/recommended_reading_books2
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 05:58 PM
3

I love your reading list, mine's is pretty similar :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 02:06 AM
2

I was literally in the same situation as you for most of my time in college and same, I am so glad to no longer be in that kind of relationship, because as you described, it's a strange dynamic to be in. My ex moved to another city after he graduated because of employment and while I wish we had ended it right after he graduated, I'm so happy to be no longer following someone else's life plan. He was also a narcissist and I realized afterwards that he treated me just as an extension of himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 04:55 PM
5

My new favourite comic, thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 12:35 AM
30

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be bashing them for playing video games because that's their thing and I do what I like doing, but I've reached a point where it's like "since literally every guy plays video games, is there anything else you do?" They play video games from being children to adulthood while I've seen my girlfriends partake in a variety of much more interesting hobbies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 10:42 PM
32

LOL you remind me of when I was dating my Nex and I thought that for once, I found a man who was mature, intelligent, shared the same musical taste, humble, kind, and courteous. After reading about narcissists, turns out he was just mirroring my good qualities and showing me off to his family and friends like "look I found a great girlfriend, now I'm a good person too!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 10:34 PM
1

To add on, Shera7 said that the max amount a woman should be emotionally invested in a relationship is 65% when married
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 01:16 AM
14

Yes, thank you! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 02:10 AM
36

Thank you to all the older and more experienced women on this sub for sharing your stories, advice, and lessons learned with the rest of us. We really appreciate your daily doses of wisdom!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 02:05 AM
81

Dear teenage self, You're a good person and I know you want to believe that everyone else is the same, but the reality is a lot different and trying to deny that fact is only going to get you hurt in the end. Accepting and learning to deal with the reality is the best way to live. Sincerely, Current self
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 11:29 PM
2

This sub in the main reason I even have the Reddit app on my phone
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 06:03 PM
3

After my last relationship ended, I googled "dating strategies for women" at one point I think, and that's what brought me here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 11:50 PM
4

THIS. I grew up thinking that it's the norm for a woman to get super emotional and burst into tears when a man proposes, like in all of those proposal videos. At one point I was wondering if women really get that emotional when being proposed to or if it's all an act. FDS has taught me that there's no need for any of this to happen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 11:31 PM
3

Thanks! If it hadn't been for this pandemic, I wouldn't have moved back home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 08:28 PM
2

That's my goal once I have the means to move out lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 03:57 PM
2

Yes! Definitely invest your early 20s in advancing your career, building strong friendships and travelling instead of trying to find the one. The top commenter in this post recommended "Staying single until you're at least 25 is probably the best thing you can do for yourself."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 08:08 PM
8

Thanks so much for sharing this, I'm sending it to my girlfriends as well. I'm so glad I didn't jump from relationship to relationship and I'm gonna plan my single time productively :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 03:15 PM
14

That's an excellent idea! Yeah, I think it'd really benefit this sub to start imposing limits on ranting posts, maybe post all rants in one thread on a certain day, or have themed days of the week. It'd be much better than constantly seeing excessive negativity in the sub, which is bad for everyone's mental health. We are definitely in need of more positive, uplifting, and inspiring posts to level up the community.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 07:46 PM
184

I feel like I have developed a habit of browsing this sub daily to increase my awareness of how misogynistic the world is, and then I need to resort to reading about other topics and journalling more to calm down. Ever since I started spending a good amount of time here, I've noticed that I'm prone to waking up in an angry mood, which isn't the best for my mental health lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 04:03 PM
32

I wanna see more of this content in FDS. It's a lot more satisfying to view than excessive posts about NVMs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 08:43 PM
6

Thank you for sharing this, love the statements!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 01:48 AM
3

That's awesome that you're living your life to the fullest! I can't wait until this school term is over and I get more free time to enjoy hobbies I haven't had time for and take courses that I'm actually interested in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 09:45 PM
12

Really happy to know that single childless women are out there celebrating their lives! My mom once told me that "one day, you will be jealous when all of your other friends are married and have kids". I'm like really? As someone who always considers responsibilities before the fun aspect of things, I'm totally not jealous of the amount of work my mom does around the house compared to my dad, who is always busy with his work, and my brother who is constantly playing video games on the computer. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 03:55 PM
12

That's what I've started telling myself too! Sure I might have some friends in relationships, but would I date their boyfriend? Nah. That empowers me to stay single until I ever find a guy who I truly want to be with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 12:03 AM
4

I actually cried reading your comment on another post and just wanted to say that I hope you're able to at least live peacefully until you reach your end. Your marriage sounds like one of the few that are a genuine love story and may you both be reunited one day in happiness someplace where neither of you is in pain <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 02:38 PM
84

If you're planning to build an app like that, I'd love to help!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 10:39 PM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ewda9u/early_warning_signs_hes_low_value_when_dating/ Can we add this one to the handbook? It's really useful and I have it bookmarked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 06:01 PM
3

You know what I've been thinking? While the text explains a lot for those of us who have been through everything that was mentioned, I think what would really help is if there were several movies that depicted different relationships with the loser to really illustrate the text. Like you know how for some assignments in school, they show students a movie and get them to answer questions or analyze the movie and explain certain things that happen? I'm thinking having a movie corresponding with th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 03:27 PM
35

You just described my previous relationship to a T. If I wasn't looking happy, he would start complaining about me not being happy and make it even worse. If a small conflict arose, he would turn it into a MAJOR PROBLEM and throw a temper tantrum while I'm trying to talk it out with him like an adult. Those were some fun times dealing with a man with the emotional maturity of a child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 02:10 AM
31

Wait really, the majority of them don't want kids? I get questioned as to why I don't want to start a family because for some reason almost everyone else I know wants kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 09:51 PM
7

"A government-run helpline in Malaysia for vulnerable people, including those affected by domestic abuse, has reported a more than 50% increase in calls since the lockdown began on 18 March, local media reported." They're even worse than France...and yeah the government is pathetic af.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 02:03 AM
3

I've already reached the point where I think instead of even considering dating and trying to find a HVM (because reading all the stories on Reddit make dating seem to be a waste of time), I'll just focus on advancing my career, buying a house, and taking on new hobbies in the future. Like most women, I grew up dreaming of a life with my soulmate and growing old together, but this sub has changed my mindset entirely. I've learned to be happy being single, and due to various factors in my upbring…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 01:38 AM
22

Taylor Swift - You Belong With Me. That song used to be at the top of my playlist for an entire decade and now I barely listen to it anymore because I can no longer relate to the lyrics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 02:37 PM
7

Same! This year, I realized that just as it is good to develop and maintain good habits, it also makes a difference to let go of bad habits, which I am still working on. The positive impact is really deep though. Once I stopped caring about others' opinions of me, dropped toxic friendships and learned to identify when a friend was trying to guilt trip me, I felt that my mental health got so much better. Especially when I stopped talking to a male friend of mine who started flirting with me right…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 01:50 AM
5

I wish I had known this four years ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 04:47 PM
6

My ex worked there years ago and wow you almost narrated the stories he would tell me and his friends word verbatim, like yes that's actually how the conversation goes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 10:17 PM
20

I saw a friend's Instagram story once that read something along the lines of "The real world is a cruel place, which is why parents should raise their children with love, so that children can recognize right and wrong" and that just resonated with me so much. When you grow up thinking that abuse is part of love, the toxic cycle repeats itself until you realize the truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 02:29 AM
9

Thanks for the travel advice! I'll definitely make note of them when I do go travelling in the future. Would also love to hear any interesting stories or fun experiences if you're comfortable sharing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 06:31 PM
43

Agreed! After my last relationship ended, I did a ton of reflecting in the months afterwards and realized that with the bucket list of things I wanted to achieve in life, they would be much easier to accomplish if I stay single. I used to dream of travelling the world with a SO to share fun experiences with, but recently I've realized that I would like to try exploring the world as a solo traveller, or with friends. It would be a great learning experience. I have been embracing being single and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 04:44 PM
8

Where do you do your collaborative writing? I also enjoy writing and am trying to find other women who share the hobby. Do you write for blogs or on Wattpad?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 08:06 PM
11

I was beginning to think that perhaps we could create an online course for FDS to teach girls radfem ideology and dating principles. Although it would be great for FDS to be taught in schools, realistically speaking, I don't know when that would happen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:48 AM
8

When my ex broke up with me, he raged about how I "treated him like shit for the past few years of our relationship". Getting treated like shit to him meant me not catering my entire life to serve him and not spending all my free time asides from school with him. Basically, his claim of abuse was him not getting all of what he felt entitled to from me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:32 AM
37

"Your dad does love you. He just communicates in the wrong way. At least he picks you up from college and drives you back on long weekends." Mind you, half the time my dad comes to pick me up, I would rather book a train ticket if I can handle my luggage by myself because honestly the cost of a train ticket is worth paying to not have to sit for 2-3hrs dealing with a very irritated dad who is either complaining about the bad traffic, or the fact that him coming to drive me home is a waste of his…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 04:31 PM
6

I'm currently focusing on keeping good grades in school, landing a good internship after graduation, and going through my list of to-read books.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 04:43 AM
60

Yas please! A list of FDS movies would be great!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 09:39 PM
16

I wish I knew this earlier. I remember asking him if he would ever date a girl his age and his answer was "no, I like younger girls better". Younger girls meaning vulnerability and the ability to groom me into a low-maintenance pickmeisha who by the end of the relationship was begging for breadcrumbs of effort. I was too naive at the time to realize that. Also, seconding the block him on everything and ignore him if he tries to contact you in the future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 03:39 PM
10

Don't compare yourself to her. I know it's hard, but comparing yourself to others and being jealous, especially relationship-wise is bad for your mental health. I know that her life, particularly her relationship, seems perfect to you right now, but I don't think you can ever know for sure. Also, don't take social media seriously, most people are trying to portray a perfect life (that only consists of their highlights) on social media. Wanted to add to whycantweallgetal0ng's comment below. Altho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 01:47 AM
13

Agreed! Each time I tell my friends and family I don't want to have kids, I always get asked "why not?" My biggest reason is because I don't think I can deal with being pregnant for 9 months - huge respect to women who have been pregnant and have brought another life into this world - but also because I like the idea of adopting more. I wish each child who has been born into this world had been raised by loving, nurturing parents and had a loving family, but the reality is far from that. It's a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 10:43 PM
1

Agreed! Shopping is my go-to therapy for destressing :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 03:15 PM
1

Since I've just finished another busy week of college and have interviews for internship opportunities coming up next week, I'm thinking of treating myself to buying some new clothes I've been eyeing for a while and reading some self-care books.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 03:06 PM
13

You made me realize that with Valentine's day coming soon, all the single gals out there should celebrate it as a day that we love ourselves and value ourselves enough to embrace being alone and not be in a toxic relationship just to have a relationship status to show for Valentine's day. I remember growing up, especially in high school, I used to wonder why I couldn't attract guys, whereas all the girls whom I perceived to have "bad traits" were in a relationship. Now I realize it's a beautiful…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 10:21 PM
18

I needed to see this today. Had agreed to fwb with a guy friend of mine earlier, but I just realized that if we even have one accident in the future, it would become friends with consequences for me. Although the idea of fooling around with him originally seemed fun, this quote just reminded me that any potential consequences far outweigh the minimal "benefits" I'd gain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 11:09 PM
5

The dark triad refers to the personality traits of narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 07:17 PM
15

This would be a dream come true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 02:53 AM
16

I think we should all do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 05:57 PM
8

One strategy I used to get over my ex is to think of the good times as an illusion that he used to get me hooked onto him and think of the bad times as a reflection of his true character. Do I miss the good times we had together? I did, until I realized that reminiscing too much on the good times clouded my judgment on the reality of the relationship. What I did (and what you could do) to get over him faster is to write down all the bad things that happened in your relationship and his character…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 01:23 AM
11

My ex's reasons for wanting children were: 1) because most adults have kids, 2) what other purpose do people have when they're in their late-20s/early 30s than to have and raise kids? 3) his kids would be responsible for taking care of him when he's elderly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 02:23 AM
4

If you still have hope that one day, you'll be able to find a HVM and settle, then keep using the FDS strategies to try and reach that dream. If you want to change your mindset into finding a purposeful meaning in life far from settling with a man, I think you should focus on loving yourself more, finding new hobbies/interests that better yourself, and set goals that don't involve relationships but are focused on improving your own life. One thing I learned after my first LTR ended and upon disc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 12:33 AM
53

I used to think that dating around would be a fun experience, but after my first relationship ended, I realized I'm happy being single and focusing on myself. Just wanted to say this - try not to feel like you should be dating because that's what most other girls are doing. The most important thing I learned last year is that just because most other people our age are doing something or following a trend, doesn't mean that it will necessarily benefit us. I was thinking about going into the datin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 01:11 AM
72

There were so many sections in that book that made my blood boil and I feel so sorry for the countless women who have been victimized again and again by the abusive men, society, and the ways that the legal system operates to give these men special leniency.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 02:30 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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