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Namtara Archive

View 4 posts and 181 comments by Namtara on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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31

The most important resource any adult can provide to a child is themselves. Being a good role model is invaluable. I didn't care about dating or men throughout most of my childhood. My mom was never good at explaining things; she just went about her single mom life without relying on men. She showed me that I could do anything all on my own. Then it started falling apart when she started dating while I was at college. She was self-sabotaging for male attention. Not a single man in her life impro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 12:59 AM
20

He said it's a bad insult and i have to apologize as this is objectively bad. I said "i m very very sorry i hurt your feelings i didn't want that at all" and he said this isn't the same as taking responsibility for my insult. I second the other comments and wanted to address this specifically. You apologized sincerely. You said you were sorry for the harm you caused (at least that he perceived), and that's taking responsibility for your actions. His response to your was bullshit. In comparison, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 09:21 PM
31

I feel like "brutally honest" is part of the teenage rebellion phase for people who were bucking against hypocritical adults that tried to force kids to pretend things were okay. But kids eventually realize that there's a purpose to soft lies and that they've been unnecessarily cruel in the name of "honesty." There is no reason for adults to act this way. They should have realized the negative effects by now, so sticking to this sort of behavior just means that they enjoy being cruel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/22 09:47 PM
18

It adds up when you accept that people are willing to pursue sexual relationships without romantic intentions or sexual attraction. In other words, plenty of the people in the study are willing to have sex with people they don't find attractive and whom they don't want to have actual relationships with; they just want sex. A lot of these types of studies are based on surveys, so I'd be wary of the results unless they were very careful with their chosen definitions and they actually explained tho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 03:04 AM
14

I think part of what you should consider is that there is no "right" shape for your body. Your body's shape is also going to change as you age, just like everyone else's. Similarly, there is no personal style that is objectively better than others. You're not a lesser person just because a particular cut of clothing doesn't compliment your shape. Your body isn't weird. It's just yours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 02:05 AM
17

Thank you. It wasn't a great way to become like that, but at least they are useful traits.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 06:46 PM
22

I have so many stories about that dude, it's ridiculous. I basically learned all the FDS rules from watching my mom end up in terrible relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 06:30 PM
63

Learned this before I even started dating. While I was in college, my mom was dating an old high school flame. He had moved in much too quickly despite that he had not officially broken up with his long-term boyfriend on the other side of the country. I did not trust him, but my mom was a total pickme (and I learned from her example what not to do). My mom wanted me to get to know him and suggested I go run some errands with him. We took my mom's SUV because he had not bought a car since moving …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 06:00 PM
12

I love both opals and emeralds, but they are indeed too fragile for an everyday ring. They're better suited for earrings, pendants, or special occasion rings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 07:10 PM
33

Nurses are in crazy high demand right now, and there's tons of short term contracts available for them. It depends on their qualifications, but if they keep grabbing up contracts, they can make bank.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 08:28 AM
48

When I'm waiting on something and can't dedicate too much attention to filler, I browse Pinterest for floor plans of houses. So far, my favorites have two master bedrooms with 2 master baths (plus one bathroom for guests), and the bedrooms are on opposite sides of the house. They do exist!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 09:33 PM
11

Well put. I'm a POC, so I know what it's like to see something that resembles one of those far right dogwhistles and not know if it's intentional or innocent. These sorts of discussions are awkward in text because it's also difficult to convey concern for these issues without coming off as patronizing. That said, I'd rather err on the side of speaking up. Thanks for speaking up too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 08:44 PM
11

speaking up politely to try to make them more comfortable is HV behavior. Aw, thank you. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 08:32 PM
25

Omg, I had forgotten about that. Neo-nazis ruin everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 08:03 PM
13

Sounds like now we're both overthinking our responses, lol. Thanks for being so understanding. Have a great day! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 07:32 PM
17

I saw your edit after I commented. Thank you for letting me know! I'm definitely not qualified to be part of the tone police (I swear way too much IRL), and I was just worried that you weren't aware of how the ((())) nonsense had been used in social media. Totally agreed on the circus OP has posted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 07:19 PM
16

lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 06:43 PM
53

Wow, I said twice in my comment that I was certain it wasn't what she meant by it. I didn't jump down her throat or intend any hostility. She didn't take any offense either, judging by her response. I didn't do any of the things you're accusing me of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 05:26 PM
91

This is completely off-topic, but I wanted to caution against using triple parentheses in that way. I believe you meant it as emphasis or to indicate that you're joking, but it's typically used to signal belief in an anti-Semitic conspiracy: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triple_parentheses Again, I'm sure that isn't what you meant by it, but it's likely to give the wrong impression. Sorry for the awkwardness! EDIT: LMAO, of all my participation in this sub, this is the one that got a lurking s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 05:05 PM
22

I'm like OP: I prefer in-person communication to texting. OP also mentioned that she told her preference to him directly. This could be him respecting that she doesn't like texting, or it could be what you suggested. Since it's not clear right now, it's something that OP should just keep track of in the event that things continue between them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 05:36 PM
360

If he works in healthcare, I personally wouldn't take his unavailability during this time frame as a red flag. If anything, his concern for your safety is a good sign. But you only went on one date. You should continue dating others as if he wasn't going to contact you again. You have no idea if he'll actually follow up. If he does, great, continue vetting during later dates. If he doesn't, oh well, it's not like you waited around for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 09:17 AM
8

Obviously though I don't want any LV/NVM to know this and want to be careful cause even if a guy seems perfect he might change towards me if he knows I'm financially stable. (Made this mistake with an ex and he literally lived with me without paying any bills for over a year :/) I second the other comments, but wanted to address this specifically. You shouldn't worry about any man who "seems perfect" changing his attitude towards you. If his attitude was positive and shifts to negative, then why…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 07:18 PM
2

You may want to change the flair to Social Group Strategy so that people can find your post when filtering by flair. I believe it also triggers and Auto Mod warning that people shouldn't try to argue with you about your experiences as a member of that social group.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 04:25 AM
64

You say you don't want to get married for a few years, so he has an excuse to not propose. I think this is as much of an issue as moving in together without getting engaged. OP has already set herself up to be a forever girlfriend with this, and I don't even know what to suggest to salvage it. It's already a gamble whether this guy would ever propose; he was told she wouldn't consider it for several years, and he thought that was acceptable. How can OP be sure that he'll want to get married once…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 08:34 PM
18

Agreed! They could be working on leveling up, but nope. They choose to lurk here and feed their anger over it; they want to hate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 09:36 PM
45

I love your comics/memes. They're apt and always get a chuckle out of me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 09:31 PM
44

It's hate-scrolling. It's like doom-scrolling, but they're just searching for "evidence" that they can twist to validate their perspective of this sub and the women in it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 09:14 PM
12

Well, my birthday is in two weeks, so we'll have to talk soon. You may have a social obligation, but you don't actually have to. If it won't help you or make you happy, then there's no good reason to speak to him. My father is a deadbeat. When I was younger, I became a lot less angry and disappointed when I stopped going out of my way to interact with him. I didn't cut him off; he could reach out to me if he wanted to. But he never has. I encourage you to stop going out of your way for him. It i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 05:09 PM
14

You weren't upset out of nowhere. The unfortunate truth is that he cares so little that he expects you to put up with his terrible behavior. He didn't expect you to change, and that is his problem, not yours. As the others said, don't apologize. You did nothing wrong. Never apologize for standing up for yourself or needing to leave a painful situation. He had the opportunity to address and help heal that pain, but he didn't step up to do it. He's the one that owes you an apology. You did somethi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 03:36 PM
2

I'm lucky so far that all the hardcover books I wanted are well known classics. They get reprinted a lot, so plenty of designs to choose from. But I have to keep that idea for custom bookbinding in mind! I might have to do that with a few if I don't find a design I like for some of the books. That'd be so fun to have a custom book.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 08:31 AM
4

That's the best gift! I was in your position last year when I got my Christmas bonus: I used the entire thing to pay down debt. This year I got to treat myself because I paid off all my credit cards. Debt-free living is the best treat for yourself. Keep going!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 08:27 AM
39

This month, I have: gone on a week-long vacation; treated myself to dinner at a nice restaurant 3 times; treated myself to 4 books from my wishlist; bought 2 beautiful hardcover books of some of my favorite classic fiction (replacing the worn paperbacks); had several at-home self-care nights with spa treatments, long baths, and reading by the fire; bought an oil painting by a local artist that I adore; and baked some new cookie recipes. It's been a great holiday season so far!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 11:46 PM
5

You should make a separate post for this! I'd love to see everyone's responses, and it would prompt newbies to treat themselves if they're not used to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 12:50 AM
1

I think your definitions don't really work then. It's not as simple as HV or not. The handbook has HV, LV, ZV, and NV for a reason. If that is where you set your boundaries, then all the power to you. But we shouldn't conflate those definitions, and FDS followers should be attentive to categorizing men appropriately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 11:06 AM
2

How would you differentiate between low and negative value then? We shouldn't conflate the two. My explanations match with the handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 10:50 AM
88

You're correct that there's nothing between them, but you're missing two other labels: ZV and NV. High value: Significantly improves your life and is a potential permanent partner (whether you're seeking marriage or something else). Worthy of your effort and attention. Low value: Improves your life, but not sufficiently enough to be seriously considered as a partner. These sorts of people might be male friends or friends of your friends, but they're not worth dating. The label has nothing to do …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 05:04 PM
1

So you're purposefully reading more from my comment than it says. Got it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 04:54 PM
5

When women have a pre-nup, their divorce is fast, inexpensive, free of legal jockeying and attempts to manipulate by “wronged” and resentful LVM? I'd love it if you could quote where I said any of that in my comment. I didn't exaggerate like that because that type of exaggeration is ridiculous. A prenup is a good plan, it’s not a panacea. Agreed. That is why I emphasized that women should seek education regarding the risks/benefits of marriage and all options relating to prenups. To add to it no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 08:24 AM
29

I have no plans to get married, but I only evaluate relationships with marriage as a mandatory end goal. Casual relationships, situationships, etc. are wastes of time. I'm a lawyer. I'm very familiar with the numerous legal benefits and risks. Almost all the risk can be dealt with by getting a good prenup. If a man isn't willing or able to take all of that on, then he's not worth a relationship. IMO, if a woman wants a relationship and doesn't want marriage, she is wide open to being used as a f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 12:13 AM
43

What you are dealing with is difficult, and it's clear you're putting in a lot of effort for yourself and your kids. You deserve the praise you are getting. Keep moving forward. You're doing a great job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 10:22 PM
268

My writing is in a constant state of improvement. Hey, that's exactly what HVW are all about: constant improvement. It sounds like you've done wonders at aiming a level and practical view of yourself and those around you. You've come a long way already and you're going to get even further. I'm glad you posted here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 09:52 PM
56

Agreed 100%. The difference between now and prior generations is the proliferation of cheap and fast communication and information. Education is more widespread than ever before. It's just that now we can see, on demand, how much of humanity is apathetic and ignorant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 06:45 PM
31

Objective vs subjective!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 05:16 PM
29

Seconded. My brother had this exact same behavior pattern because he learned it from low value friends. There's no fixing it. He's now in his mid 30s still acting the same way and nothing to show for it. All talk and no substance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 06:01 PM
5

I'll out myself: I initially downvoted out of instinct and took it back. I grew up poor, and class identity has been a strong psychological hook in my life. I am doing much better financially as an adult, but I still instinctively identify as poor. My first thought at anything that is unnecessary for survival is "I can't afford that. Ignore it." even when I could buy ten of whatever it is and not even come close to my monthly budget for spending money. That is the lens through which I looked at …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 06:38 PM
48

The only thing I didn't like about the first film was the sudden costume change to pants. It was weird and obviously done as a dramatic shirking of skirts/dresses despite that it had nothing to do with the story. Loved everything else about the film.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 12:30 AM
6

No problem, we've all been there. Don't take any downvotes personally; this sub attracts a lot of trolls, and many members assume that comments like yours are trolling rather than just not realizing what FDS is. It's definitely not the sub to be in if you care about reddit karma, haha. I lurk here more than I comment, and I bet that most FDS members do the same. The handbook is a great place to start, and once you learn the sub's lingo, it's easy to search for discussion of any particular dating…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 10:42 PM
14

FDS is a radical feminist subreddit about dating strategies with a common underlying premise: women should only date men who substantially add "value" to their lives. The definition of "value" differs from person to person, but it leads to a common perspective. There's a lot more to it than that, but that's the best summary I could give. I really do recommend browsing through the handbook; it wasn't a dig at you. It's a collection of common topics and issues for dating with a radfem lens. There'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 10:30 PM
15

I referred you to the handbook in the sidebar because you're giving terrible advice that has already been addressed numerous times. If you aren't interested in using FDS tactics for dating, that is entirely your choice. I just don't see why you want to put the effort in to post here if it's not what you're interested in. Good luck, and hopefully you figure it out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 10:16 PM
35

I also don't think there's anything wrong with making the first move? It's because you should be vetting. If he wanted to ask you out, he would. He didn't because he doesn't. Women asking men out means that they aren't vetting for men that are actually interested in them. Read the handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 10:07 PM
5

A friend of my brother's started texting sexual content to me when I was 15 (my brother was 17). I knew it had to be one of them because only my mother and my brother knew my cell number. Our school had a central outdoor area that was adjacent to the cafeteria, admin offices, library, and a hobby room. Aside from a few small clubs, every student was in the cafeteria or in that area during lunch. I barged into the hobby room during lunch to confront them. I called them all out: my brother for giv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 09:57 PM
31

TBH, I'd recommend deleting this and reposting with another title just to be safe. Don't give haters any ammo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 08:43 PM
85

Just a reminder, since I think you might have forgotten: LVM does not mean he is a bad person. Plenty of generally "good" men can be low value. Value is about whether or not he improves your life. From your post, it seems like you already know the answer. A decision to break up does not mean either person is good/bad. It's about compatibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 10:44 PM
167

I do this with tea houses. I take a good book, order an afternoon or high tea course, then nibble on treats and drink tea while I read for about an hour. Bonus points if there's outdoor seating on a patio with a garden.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 05:07 PM
69

There's also men that just refuse to be up front about their sexuality, regardless of whether they are gay or bi. My mom dated a man in her early 20s and they broke up. Decades later, he reached out to her again and he is in a same sex relationship. He insisted that he was gay, not bi, and that my mom was the only woman he had ever had feelings for. (He had a lot of girlfriends, this was a total "you're not like other girls" con.) My mom fell for the BS and dated him despite that he had not brok…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 07:47 PM
91

She has self-respect as a businesswoman, but not as a person. It's sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 11:33 PM
20

I had forgotten about this song. Definitely a good anthem: I don't want to be the filler if the void is solely yours I don't want to be your glass of single malt whiskey Hidden in the bottom drawer I don't want to be a bandage if the wound is not mine Lend me some fresh air I don't want to be adored for what I merely represent to you I don't want to be your babysitter You're a very big boy now I don't want to be your mother I didn't carry you in my womb for nine months Show me the back door Visi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 04:25 PM
84

Exactly. Any time any woman on this sub describes anyone as "middle value", she is admitting that she has or is willing to settle for less. It's a tough pickme trait to shed. We are inundated with BS that we should be grateful for what we can get. FDS is about not settling for anything or anyone that does not meet your standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 04:56 PM
10

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 08:55 PM
14

Which movie is this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 08:50 PM
22

The best part is the comments in that thread. Basically everyone called OP out that (1) the numbers are way off for everything he mentioned, and (2) the point of that sub is to spend money on things that are important, especially experiences, and that is why people often spend so much on weddings and funerals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 08:58 PM
1

If you want, feel free to check the handbook then, since that's actually what decides.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 04:56 PM
2

This shows you didn't read the link I posted in my higher comment. I do not agree with OP that LVM means a terrible person. She responded that I changed her mind. Please visit that other post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 07:21 AM
18

However, many women won't want to refer to a new man they're dating as a LVM if he's been treating her well. He could be showing a lot of HVM traits, and could very well be a HVM, but you can't tell that early in a relationship. That's actually the exact reason they are LVM. The whole point of focusing on the value they add to your life is to force you to acknowledge whether he is worthwhile. All "potential HVM" are LVM because they haven't proven to be more. These aren't permanent labels. They'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 11:06 PM
8

I'm glad you found it helpful. This sub is all about perspective. We have to be mindful about how we look at people and relationships. Everyone here is working to be better at it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 09:48 PM
44

There is good reason to differentiate between LVM, ZVM, and NVM. We should not use these terms interchangeably. https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/g5o0kt/stop_elevating_negativevalue_men_in_fds
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 09:39 PM
53

I know what you mean. But lately, I've been watching 80s and 90s popular films (hooray lockdown), and holy shit, they are sexist as hell. Honestly, I think we're all just paying attention to things we used to shrug off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 06:03 PM
117

This isn't a new advertising tactic. Look up sexist advertisements for cigarettes, alcohol, appliances, etc. This isn't unique to gaming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 05:50 PM
19

Exactly. This is not limited to or unique to anime.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 05:39 PM
27

Just chiming in for newbies that might get confused: it is a good thing to discuss marriage before a proposal, but that is not the same thing as floating the idea of getting engaged. Being engaged is worthless. It means nothing. You are either single or married, and engagement is just the time that you let people know you will get married. It is not a status to flaunt or something to aspire to. The reason everyone in this thread thinks that line is ridiculous is because he's acting as if talking…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 07:33 PM
38

It isn't, the character is just gaslighting. The point of the comic is to show that people who act this way will go to absurd lengths to gaslight women into thinking that they are shallow for having any expectations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 07:17 PM
41

when the lows are super low the highs are higher. The highs seem higher, when they're actually at or below the bare minimum that anyone should expect from a relationship. It's so self-sabotaging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 11:28 PM
19

Yeah, I really felt the need to explain myself Then here's the lessen you should really focus on right now: you never need to explain yourself, your decisions, your thoughts, anything at all. "No." is a complete sentence. You will be okay!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 06:17 PM
7

You need to stop dating and re-read the handbook. Your are not in the right place mentally to evaluate a potential partner. Decide on your standards. They are unique to you. What do you need? What will make you happy? What will satisfy you? If you can't answer that, do not date. You need that confidence before taking the next step. You did not meet a HVM. Why would you even think he was a HVM when you only interacted with him for one date? You must have missed or misunderstood something from the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 10:04 PM
60

To be frank, we shouldn't even bother with dating while in school. Investment in yourself comes first, and school is the time to hustle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 09:38 PM
42

And it's all proportional of course. For example, he's making $100k+ a year, then a $1k engagement ring is not a huge investment. That's not even 1 month of spending money. That's why the whole X month's salary isn't total bullshit. The point isn't the price tag or what the ring is made of. The point is that it's a ring you would love, and he was willing to save up to get you something that will last your entire life. The specifics will vary, but the purpose is the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 06:41 PM
90

For anyone reading this comment, it is not an exaggeration or misstatement. He literally claimed that women who excrete bodily fluids as a result of being sexually aroused must suffer from a harmful medical condition and that his basis for this belief is his wife, a licensed, practicing doctor, told him so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 10:56 PM
25

This is also why women really need to secure financial independence. Financial security does wonders for mental health and relationships of all kinds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 06:07 PM
2

That was the point of my original comment. You obviously do care, but you just won't do anything about it. Weak women that don't want to take action are always going to be victims.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 03:18 AM
5

It sounds like you really need to learn about how the government works and political science in general. Reddit is not the place to go for basic education on that. And if you're trying to pick some philosophical debate, I'm not interested in debating what the government structure should be. OP's post is about what people should do given how it's already built.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 12:54 AM
4

That wouldn't happen unless the right was removed, which would likely require a coup. That would be an autocracy, which is unacceptable. What is the point you are trying to make with that question?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 10:20 PM
40

Several commenters are missing the point: the range of election candidates will never improve to suit your desires if you refuse to exercise your right to vote. If you're not voting, it means they know you'll never vote against them, so they don't need to take you into consideration. If you did vote, then they know there's a risk that their opponent could get your vote, and they have to take you into consideration. Change does not happen when people do nothing. Apathy is a low value trait.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 10:28 AM
2

Right. There's no need to get a last word in. The best "last word" in texts is the system message that they are blocked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 06:38 PM
1

That is why we vet. People can keep up lies for quite a long time. Put yourself in a position where you can observe their decisions. It's easier to test affirmative statements ("I care about the environment") than negative statements ("I don't watch porn"). However, that is also why you keep your distance and make them wait. Most liars do not have the patience to wait out the FDS minimum timelines. If a man isn't willing to wait for you, you didn't miss out on anything worthwhile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 07:34 PM
1

This is why we cannot judge people on words alone. What they do reveals who they are. Honestly, I usually ignore what people claim to believe. First, it's rarely my business. Second, people are often wrong. It could be intentional deceit, or it might be ignorance about what they have identified with, or they might have a true lack of self awareness that they do not practice what they preach. Third, people change. Words mean so little sometimes. Don't take people at their word, especially when da…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 06:26 PM
9

Indeed, it has to be fake. Let's assume most of it is real, for argument's sake. If she threw a glass at him, it's because she was too far away to pour it, which she has done before. That means there's no way he instinctively slapped her, because she wasn't in arms reach. It makes no sense if you assume the guy was telling truth. It's made up nonsense. (And as a side note, ladies, don't let a man goad you into wasting a drink!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 05:43 PM
10

It's always hard to start on a new path, but you can get through it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 11:48 PM
12

You broke the 90 day rule, and he's comfortable playing you because of it. You let this relationship progress too quickly. If you had held off longer, you would have been able to look at this more objectively. Move on from this guy and learn from it. He is not worth your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 10:20 PM
5

At least partly yes, because you don't tell people your strategy in your tinder profile. Part of FDS is that you don't tell the man how to act or what you are going to do. He'll either do right or he won't, and you want to know what his natural inclinations are. Queens don't need to tell anyone "I am worth chasing" except themselves as an esteem exercise. They don't need to tell someone "you'll like me." Someone who needs to say the quiet part out loud to other people is insecure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 09:16 PM
-1

That is why I said you didn't give much information. Your post is far too vague to give you any meaningful advice. You write like someone who doesn't know what she wants and concluded that must mean she has everything she wants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 07:15 PM
0

I am 27 and honestly have everything else I want in life. I’m highly educated, happy, fun social life, love my appearance, and financially well off . I really feel like the only thing left is husband and children. Your post doesn't provide much information, but that's an incredibly narrow view of what life has to offer. If that was all to life, there'd be no such thing as hobbies, traveling, etc. You need to view a relationship as a bonus, not as a missing necessity. If you think it's more vital…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 04:58 PM
19

We really shouldn't label passivity or similar traits as effeminate. All that does is reinforce sexist stereotypes. I don't like this dude either, but that's because he's showing 0 effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 10:20 PM
1

Deterrents are not perfect, which is why HVW still have to tell NVM to fuck off every now and then. But they dissuade a significant number of people from trying. Predators look for easy opportunities. It's rare that they'll put in serious effort or sacrifice, let alone put themselves in a situation where they could be found out by social workers before they get to exploit anyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 03:13 AM
4

Lol @ effort time and money being a deterrent That is literally the basis of several FDS principles. If you don't believe they work, why are you here?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 12:44 AM
3

Glossary says negative value male.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 09:45 PM
1

Here's a refresher.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 09:39 PM
5

From the Glossary in the wiki: Negative-Value Male (NVM) - A male that subtracts value from your life. He leaves your life worse off than before - these are men that women should avoid. Even Pickemeisha's deserve a better fate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 09:33 PM
3

It means Negative Value Male.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 09:32 PM
29

You're not evaluating this with an FDS mindset. First, what are your values? Forget that you're in a relationship. What do you want? What are your plans for yourself? What life are you working for? What standards must a man meet for you to even consider marriage? Next, does your boyfriend meet those standards? Be ruthless. Does he actually meet them, or are you allowing him to fall short because you're already invested? Then, does he significantly improve your life? This isn't just about standar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 09:57 PM
6

Always get a prenup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 10:07 PM
2

That's no big deal, you had several valid points regardless. All people do experience a "honeymoon phase" when they first start dating, and it wouldn't surprise me if what you described plays a part of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 08:31 PM
4

That's a NVM. Anyone that makes your life worse is negative value. Don't give him any more credit than he deserves. You deserve the real thing. Glad you got out of that situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 06:49 PM
10

My understanding of it is that "post-nut clarity" people usually talk about lasts only a short time, minutes to maybe a few hours. There might be other phenomenon that last longer (like what you described), but I'm not sure that's the same thing. In either case, any man who tries to use that as a reason to have sex needs to go in the trash. If they're actually incapable of thinking logically without sex, that's a waste of time. If they're lying and just want to get laid, pass. If they actually t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 06:12 PM
7

I love them too, but I always remind myself that I am essentially buying fancy lunchables.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 05:35 PM
29

I'm not disagreeing with you on the FDS principle. I just don't believe that "post-nut clarity" is anything other than meme bullshit. I think it's made up. Men are willing to make up all sorts of nonsense to get laid. Trying to slap a label on "being horny distracts me" and using it to justify why they need to have sex so often is just lazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 05:13 PM
72

No. Just don't even entertain this nonsense excuse. Men claim they're so horny that they can't think logically or control themselves until they orgasm. Once they do, they supposedly have a few minutes where they reach "clarity" and can think without any distractions. Are people distracted when horny? Sure. But if anyone, whether male or female, is going to claim that they're so horny all the time that they can never think straight until they've had sex, they can move on. It's ultimately irreleva…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 04:35 PM
113

What does that even mean? It's adult lunchables FFS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 08:21 AM
26

That's like saying never be into a guy that watches U.S.-made movies. That's extrapolating a red flag from specific genres to an entire industry. It also ignores that many genres are made for and/or by women and buck the misogynist values in other genres. You can have a personal standard about not permitting any anime, but that doesn't make it an objective standard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 04:33 PM
131

You were raped because a man raped you. Whether you could have avoided it does not make it your fault. There is always a "if I had done X instead" factor. Always. The presence of those possibilities does not shift any blame. I'm sorry that it happened to you. I hope you are able to work through the trauma that can cause, and I hope you seek out professional help if it is available to you. You deserve to heal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 06:23 PM
23

I deep down always felt he was “the one” but he never made me feel desired or special. Just like one of the homies. And always vowed to myself I wouldn’t go back unless he became an Alpha male. He now seems he’s on that road. Decide on your standards and stick by them. Anyone who doesn't already meet them is a LVM. He isn't meeting your standards, you just wish he did. He is a LVM at best. You haven't shaken being a pickme. You're just pretending you have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 08:32 AM
6

You don’t have the effing right to touch me where you want when you want! FTFY.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 07:07 PM
7

I'd be more worried about the ink actually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 04:33 PM
16

Lawyer here. Schools have no business deciding whether crimes have been committed by their students. It should be dealt with by courts. Whether a rape has occurred should not be investigated or decided by school administrations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 07:29 AM
2

NVM*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 04:26 AM
7

Then definitely read the sidebar guides in /r/skincareaddiction when you have time. Skincare usually does not need to be expensive, so don't worry about that just yet. The first thing you should do is READ. Read all the guides! Then re-read the intro guides at the end. You should have a general idea about skin types, conditions, symptoms, and how different ingredients affect your skin. Re-read the intro guides so you can focus on your first steps into skincare. Second, use the guides to figure o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 08:37 PM
25

You should like yourself because you like yourself. It shouldn't be based on whether someone else likes that part of you. If you don't like something about your looks, and it really is your standard that isn't being met, then look into how you would achieve that standard. You'll have to parse it out more than just saying you don't like your face. Check out /r/skincareaddiction guides if it's that sort of issue. It is a ton of reading, but it is so worth it. Also check out /r/femalelevelupstrateg…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 07:54 PM
20

I actually had been doing FDS almost my entire life and never knew others did the same. As I've mentioned before, I grew up poor, am a first generation college student, and a lawyer. I've had men ask me out (and one or two women), but I almost always declined. The few times I dated, it just seemed like a waste of time. I focused on school and work, and constantly reminded myself that I'd rather climb out of poverty than be in love and poor. I wasn't interested in sleeping around; there didn't se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 07:23 PM
2

I think the "Green Flag" flair covers this, but we've got so many anyway that more couldn't hurt. I like the "How-To High Value" flair a little better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 06:22 PM
31

Disagree, but only because of my background. However, I think it is still a yellow flag. I come from nothing. My family was ultra-poor, and it's taken me until my 30s to finally get financial stability. I only managed it because relationships were not even close to being a priority. I dated very few people, and I wouldn't even call them relationships. And to be honest, I'm not even worried about dating for the time being. I might consider it in a year or two. None of that was due to being career…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 12:02 AM
1

The person you're responding to is a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 06:26 PM
13

I have a hard time finding someone that I have this much in common with and we have a similar vision for the future. I’m afraid of losing that and not being able to find it again. He's not a unicorn. Neither are you. Stop pretending that what you have is rare. We could sit here all day and try to pick apart your reasons for being in that relationship, and you'd probably come up with responses along the lines of "well I didn't mention this before, but ______ shows that isn't the case..." even if …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 05:28 PM
5

Yep! It's refreshing to see men criticizing LVM behavior and even using it as an insult. It's not only women on FDS that reject that nonsense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 05:28 PM
1

I agree, except on the tampons. We should be taking care of ourselves, so that example is helping out. I just couldn't come up with a better title for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 05:19 PM
12

I don't think it's anyone else's responsibility to buy my tampons; that's my responsibility. I would consider that to be helping me out. But I agree with you on the other examples in the image. It's hard to come up with a title that parses that all out though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 05:14 PM
2

Again, it's not about what the rock was or could have been or alternatives to lab-created. It's that he knew she thought it was a real diamond, and he was putting her down for being upset that it was not. It doesn't matter if it was CZ, moissanite, or glass. She had a standard and he's putting her down for it. If he was sold on the idea of getting her a not-diamond, whatever stone he wanted to get, then that should have been a conversation before the proposal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 06:27 PM
16

It's not about the diamond. It's about the fact that he knew she assumed it was a real diamond, and he's trying to blame her for her own disappointment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 12:54 AM
32

I don't think there's a reason to objectively gatekeep hobbies. Women put different values on different things. There are generic or objective HV traits, but that's not all there is. If an "output hobby" like what you describe is a high value to you, then wonderful. You've found a way to narrow down your prospects. But hobbies are zero-value to me. I've gone through periods of being a workaholic, being an unemployed student, being poor, etc. During all those times, I had different ways of expres…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 05:55 AM
26

Haha, that expression always comes from people who have never actually felt hate. They've been angry, spiteful, vengeful, and all manner of those emotions, but hatred is a completely different animal. It's so passive and quiet. The only way hatred does you harm is when people react to you verbalizing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 12:52 AM
25

I also get a little bummed out about that, but I think it's just part of the journey. A lot of people's first time in this sub is like "WOW, these men are atrocious. That can't be normal!" And the longer they stick around in FDS, the more they realize that terrible men are actually incredibly common. They begin waking up to how necessary it is to protect themselves and to filter the men in their life. But once you realize that so many men are like this, seeing that content begins to wear you out…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 12:28 AM
67

Exactly. Way too many people will go on about how "forgiveness is for yourself" and "hatred is like a hot coal" and so on. No. Forgiveness is not necessary. We don't have to forgive anyone. It doesn't make us worse off one way or another.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 12:18 AM
29

This a reoccurring misconception. Everyone attracts LVM/ZVM/NVM because they rarely care about who you are. They usually only care about what they can get from you. For some men, all that matters is whether they think you look fuckable. FDS is about vetting through dating because there is no way to filter them at the outset.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 05:13 PM
3

This was my sentiment. I agree with the feeling, but you can't get any flatter than a line.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 01:19 AM
36

I agree. I think the best way to address the problem is to correct people when they misuse it and direct them back to the handbook. I've done this a few times, and OPs have always been polite and receptive to the correction. We need to help remind each other. Contrary to the other comments in this thread (which are probably going to be all deleted), I don't view a LVM label as a bad thing. It is just someone who isn't worth my effort. NVM are the only people I would actually consider to be terri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 11:54 PM
9

Yep. FDS is all about breaking that mindset. We've all been so beaten down by how terrible men can be that just treating us like we're human is somehow an achievement. We have to do better than that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 08:46 PM
32

Don't get me wrong he's not a bad guy. My pup made me realize that he's just... Okay. He's a medium value man. (Is that a thing?) Not terrible, no horrible red flags, good man, he's just...fine. Doesn't provide, doesn't make my life particularly easier, doesn't give me anything I can't give myself, doesn't make me feel happier than my dog does, etc. Then he is a low-value male or zero-value male. That is exactly what these labels are for. People who do not add to your life are low-value or zero-…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 06:26 PM
11

It's not about preventing attachment, it's about filtering out men who can keep up the lies for that amount of time. A month is not a long time. Three months of consistent behavior is much harder to fake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 10:35 PM
32

Plugging /r/FemaleLevelUpStrategy (run by the same group of mods). Levelling up is about becoming the person you want to be. If the reason you are looking into plastic surgery is other people, then you need to refocus your thinking first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 10:32 PM
8

You broke the 90-day rule. Refresh your memory and stick to it from now on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 10:13 PM
15

It is not scientific because intelligent design is a metaphysical theory. It cannot be studied, tested, or proven/disproven. It is a belief system. I'm not here to tell anyone in FDS what metaphysical beliefs they should have, whether they are moral, religious, etc. If readers share your beliefs, then they will benefit from this post. However, I felt I needed to voice disagreement so that people who do not believe in intelligent design realize they are not alone in FDS. These can be difficult co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 06:48 PM
21

Just chiming in to say that I disagree because the basis of this is so anti-science. I cannot reconcile that. But if this helps you filter out men who do not meet your standards, then more power to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 05:55 PM
37

I feel like that's men in general then. There's LVM in every profession, and law is no exception. Big Law definitely tends to amplify the attitude, so I figured that could be it. Asking them about the type of work they do is pretty natural at the start, so maybe ask open-ended questions that could prompt either the Big Ego Jackass response or the I'm-gonna-change-the-world response. It'd have to flow with the conversation, so don't use canned questions. Here's some examples though: What type of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 05:10 PM
148

Am a lawyer. There's tons of different kinds of lawyers, but generally the ones you want to avoid are Big Law male lawyers in large metro areas. Law school is a competition. Big Law is a competition. First year lawyers at a big firm were big shots in law school and then were bottom of the totem pole at the start of their career. They worked 90+ hour weeks on gigantic cases they can't talk about where the partner calling the shots (maybe) humored their ideas before making a decision. For some Big…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 04:49 PM
4

Keep at it then. It definitely takes a while to get through all of it, but it is more productive than these sorts of posts. Your post kind of rants and doesn't have a solid question, and I'm guessing it's because you aren't sure where to start. Get through the handbook and then ask for more help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 04:36 PM
3

Read the handbook. You were told this the last time you posted in FLUS. There's a lot to read, but it is worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 04:26 PM
13

Plugging /r/FemaleLevelUpStrategy, which is run by the same team of mods, if anyone is interested in non-dating empowerment posts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 04:16 PM
2

You should crosspost this to /r/FemaleLevelUpStrategy too. There's been several posters there who really should get professional help to help them keep on track.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 03:00 AM
2

It's there. Sometimes the algorithm is weird at first, or it could be bitter lurkers. I'm in law or I'd help, but I'm sure the medical professionals will chime in once they get a break from the craziness going on right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 01:53 AM
17

There has been a few posts by medical students, doctors, and nurses in /r/FemaleLevelUpStrategy as well. I suggest cross-posting there too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 11:24 PM
12

Reminder to always get a prenup: https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fb94ak/keep_your_financial_future_in_mind_while_you_vet/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 11:16 PM
17

You should cross-post this to /r/FemaleLevelUpStrategy too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 11:14 PM
14

For sure! The artist did this quick comic based on her actual housemates. This is what men called them for being who they are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 02:20 AM
49

And even if you do give them sex or attention, then they'll nitpick that it's not exactly what they want. It's always the woman's fault that they don't get what they desire. LVM have no shame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 11:48 PM
25

I found this old comic I'd liked a while back and figured you all would enjoy it. (Don't look at the typo!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 11:32 PM
78

Your emotions are valid. You felt a connection to someone, and that relationship is over now. It is okay to mourn loss. Don't denigrate yourself for feeling a certain way. Take a step back and think about why you feel that way. You've gotten to the step that you realize he was a LVM, so you're not sad that you're missing out on something that was good for you. Whether that it's you missed feeling connected to someone, missed feeling loved, or missed believing that you were loved, you don't miss …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 09:12 PM
39

When my family told me to quit school during the last recession, I kept going. I had just finished undergraduate at the same time I'd had a cancer scare. While it wasn't cancer, I had to have immediate surgery to remove a tumor. By the time I was able to work, the economy was terrible, and I couldn't find a decent job. I juggled minimum wage work and getting a certificate (only a few months of work) to break into a competitive field. My family insisted that I was wasting my time. I was the only …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 09:03 PM
3

You need to figure out your standards. Mine, in order of importance: Mentality: I can, should, and want to improve all facets of my being. Stagnation is low value. Critical Thinking: Everything I read, see, and hear is there for a reason. I must understand that reason before I can determine if something is true and useful. Blind faith and allegiance are low value. Education: I must always continue learning. I must never mistake my expertise in one field for understanding in another. Anti-intelle…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 06:41 PM
6

I'm not sure what I wrote that gave you the impression that I'm taking anything personally. I'm not since this isn't my post. I'm also confused about this narrative you read that she gave him a chance and then somehow took it back. Telling someone your boundaries or standards is not "giving a chance" for someone to meet them. Calling someone out on bad behavior is not "giving a chance" to someone to change. I agree with your point that she probably should have just blocked him after he sent her …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 10:04 PM
6

Lol, this is FDS. We don't owe anyone a chance. If he was being honest about what he wanted (spending time with her), then he should have acknowledged that his behavior is a problem, committed to it, and then followed through. Instead, he changed the subject. There was no mixed message here. She was straightforward about an issue and told him what she wanted. He ignored it. Stop placing the blame on OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 09:38 PM
9

How is her message mixed? There was no ambiguity in what she wrote. She was straightforward about what the issue was and the resolution she wanted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 09:19 PM
3

Lol! I didn't even read the username. Lesson learned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 04:28 AM
2

I can empathize entirely, and that doesn't change my point that women should do whatever they are capable of to prepare for problems like this. I'm not making any moral or ethical judgments of anyone, nor am I being unrealistic. I understand that you feel strongly about a political issue, but that has absolutely nothing to do with FDS principles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 09:26 PM
7

Your point would have more relevance if not for the fact that the woman I responded to had said they were trying to get married ASAP specifically for insurance. Everything I said stands: women should level up financially to minimize these risks. A HVW would do everything she could to avoid needing to rely on others to maintain her health. That does not mean that getting help when necessary is wrong. It means we take responsibility for ourselves in advance so we can avoid it when possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 09:05 PM
11

I'm sorry you are going through all that. I sincerely hope you two manage to pull through. However, since this is FDS, I just want to caution all the other readers that they should level up their finances to minimize the risk of scenarios like this. Medical emergencies are not what anyone should have hanging over their head when they want to get married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 08:39 PM
60

Lawyer here. A legal marriage is a marriage, regardless of how fancy the ceremony is. You and your spouse both have legal obligations once you are legally married. That said, women should definitely refuse to get legally married if your fiance wants to split up the social ceremony and the legal process by a significant amount of time. Some people don't think signing the certificate with witnesses is very romantic, so they do it a short time earlier so it can be excluded from the festivities. Tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 06:57 PM
1

You are not over him if you want to keep getting an emotional stimulus from him, no matter how you frame it. You're devaluing your time, attention, and emotions. Block him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 09:47 PM
45

You should cross-post this to /r/femalelevelupstrategy too. All good points.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 10:14 PM
44

Everyone attracts LVM because LVM do not care about who you are. They care about what they can get from you. There is no way to ensure only HVM will be interested or ask you out. Keep focusing on being your best self and follow FDS methods of vetting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 06:06 PM
3

My mom broke up with her high school sweetheart when they graduated. She wanted to go to college and he wanted to work at ski lodges. He came back 25 years later. She went 100 percent pick-me over it, but he dumped her to go back to NY with his long-term boyfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 05:54 PM
3

Definitely a better metric for first dates!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 12:11 AM
14

I'm going to step in here to say that no one should ever feel a connection on a first date, whether they pay or not. The point of dating is to vet someone before establishing a committed relationship. You might feel interested in someone or even like something about them, but if you think that means you are "connected" already, then you are investing way too much emotional attachment much too early.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 11:43 PM
4

Check out /r/femalelevelupstrategy too. There are a lot of posts about managing anxiety, building confidence, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 07:55 PM
26

It's good to check in on social media (and keep copies) of former spouses for evidence in case they try anything later. Keeping regular tabs on bad behavior can be huge if they try to pick a fight about custody, spousal support, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 11:48 PM
31

Not even FDS, but FDA. Dude doesn't even know what sub he's in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 10:06 PM
36

OP is a man. He has several other posts claiming to be a Latina, a 35-year old man, etc. Even if it's a woman sometimes posing as a man, this is not a person who can be trusted, especially regarding meet ups.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 10:04 PM
13

Keep in mind that in order to enforce a prenup, a judge will have to believe that the specific clause you're enforcing is reasonable. Infidelity clauses are hard to prove, and even if proven, may not be enforceable if the penalty is extreme. Here's another article that includes some candid discussion from two female lawyers on the enforceability of some uncommon clauses they ran into: https://www.brides.com/story/the-craziest-prenuptial-agreements-these-real-lawyers-have-ever-seen A good lawyer …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 05:07 PM
25

This is only tangentially related to dating, but HVW must educate themselves on the financial implications of marriage, divorce, and death. The best way to prepare in anticipation of all three is a prenuptial agreement, or a "prenup." A prenup is a contract signed by spouses before their marriage and goes into effect once the marriage happens. It can include a lot of things, but it's most widely known for determining how finances are handled in a divorce. However, prenups can also help you decid…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 07:47 AM
34

Genuine question: should we be reporting posts that focus on pseudo-science and misinformation? My concern is that these posts don't add anything substantive to the sub, distract people from the purpose of the sub, and just give people reasons to bicker about nonsense. I'm by no means suggesting that moderators should scrutinize as much as the /r/askscience mods do, but I do roll my eyes every time someone brings up bunk science as a justification for FDS principles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 02:47 AM
32

You can't change people. You can influence their decisions by challenging them, but you can't change them. You are only responsible for yourself and your children, if you have any.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 05:41 PM
3

My mother is a complete pickme when a man shows interest in her, but she showed a lot of high-value traits when she was a single parent. It's been a weird thing to see, and it's taken a lot of reflection to process it. Honestly, it's been the issue that is most on my mind since I started lurking this sub. My father walked out on my family when I was 2. It was just my pregnant mom, my older brother, and me. My sister was born a few months later. My mother had been disowned by her family for marry…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 12:37 AM
5

"It's just words" cuts both ways. If a person acts like it is love (not just love bombing) and is trying to improve on verbal expression, then that's not necessarily a red flag. At that point, "it's just words" because their actions speak for themselves and they are trying to express love in a new way that they aren't used to yet. But if someone responds that "it's just words" as a reason not to say it, that shows a lack of empathy and caring. It isn't hard to say "I love you." It's just awkward…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 04:01 PM
17

I grew up the same way, so it's uncomfortable to say because it's not how people expressed affection around me. There's always plenty of posts about "love languages," but that's not it either. It's just words. People can learn how to say them at appropriate times. If someone is still having trouble with verbal expression of that, then it it something they should work on. A high value person, whether male or female, should be able to verbally express their feelings to their partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 06:26 AM
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