Keep your financial future in mind while you vet: HVW should get a prenup, and a HVM will understand that necessity.

Namtara · 2020-02-29T07:47:32+00:00

This is only tangentially related to dating, but HVW must educate themselves on the financial implications of marriage, divorce, and death. The best way to prepare in anticipation of all three is a prenuptial agreement, or a "prenup."

A prenup is a contract signed by spouses before their marriage and goes into effect once the marriage happens. It can include a lot of things, but it's most widely known for determining how finances are handled in a divorce. However, prenups can also help you decide on your estate plan, the financial structure of your marriage, property arrangements/ownership, etc. You should not look for a "standard" or "form" prenup; your situation and your future are unique, as is your fiance. You should have a candid, open discussion about finances, marriage, and a prenup before even getting engaged. Once you are engaged, you should each get attorneys to help you build your prenup. You should put yourself first during this process; your fiance and his attorney will handle his interests, and you must handle your own.

When couples do not get a prenup, the government will decide what happens on your behalf. You might get a chance to make arguments in court if you disagree with the applicable law, but you will not have control over the outcome. Only a contract like a prenup (or its post-marriage cousin, the post-nup) will allow you to have real control. You should also look into getting a will for when you or your spouse pass away.

A HVM will accept that your financial future must be planned out before you get married. However, prenups do have a stigma; initial distaste for the idea is only a yellow flag, but only adamant refusal to get a prenup (even after dispelling myths) is a red flag. Do not enter into a financial partnership with someone who wants you to gamble.

whathisbastardid · 2020-02-29T15:11:06+00:00

If I ever marry (unlikely) I would try to get a prenup that’s says I get all assets if porn use, including browsing soft core social media images repeatedly, is discovered.

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