~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| – | Many men on Reddit who seek long-term relationships claim that OLD is not working out for them (barely any likes, matches or dates), many women on Reddit who seek the same thing claim that there are almost no good men to choose from (most matches seek casual sex, are incompatible or creepy)I'm not going to tell you that your experience is wrong, but personally I disagree with the less women complain part. r/GirlDinnerDiaries has 4.4m weekly visitors, and arguably a third of it is about there being "no good men" anymore or them misbehaving in some way. Compilations or memes of men being creepy in online dating aren't exactly rare either. But I do agree with the notion that you can be very successful on OLD if you're smart and careful about it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 05:53 PM |
| – | Many men on Reddit who seek long-term relationships claim that OLD is not working out for them (barely any likes, matches or dates), many women on Reddit who seek the same thing claim that there are almost no good men to choose from (most matches seek casual sex, are incompatible or creepy)> I see men complain about OLD more than women Not sure if this is true, because the "no good men" rhetoric is incredibly common on Reddit, especially in female-only spaces like r/GirlDinnerDiaries. Yes, there are non-shallow women who are successful on OLD, but they're not the same vocal group of women who seem to be stuck on OLD apps with the worst matches imaginable. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 03:00 PM |
| – | Many men on Reddit who seek long-term relationships claim that OLD is not working out for them (barely any likes, matches or dates), many women on Reddit who seek the same thing claim that there are almost no good men to choose from (most matches seek casual sex, are incompatible or creepy)I can see where you're coming from, but here are a few points which give me reason to believe that the truth is a bit more nuanced than that: - A lot of success stories from OLD mention that the woman in the relationship found her partner rather fast, sometimes even in the same week as registering there - This implies both LTR goals as well as non-shallowness to me, and it also implies that women who are vocally stuck on OLD are actually just a group of women, not all women - A lot of success st… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 12:54 PM |
| – | Many men on Reddit who seek long-term relationships claim that OLD is not working out for them (barely any likes, matches or dates), many women on Reddit who seek the same thing claim that there are almost no good men to choose from (most matches seek casual sex, are incompatible or creepy)If you think that OLD interactions are draining because of the parameters surrounding it, then I have nothing against it and respect your opinion. Of course you're going to act a little bit differently if all you're getting is one match per week at best, just as you're going to act a little bit differently when your getting flooded with likes and have to experience the FOMO of choosing wrong. In my opinion this promotes negative behaviors in both genders, i.e. women coming up with problematic fi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 11:44 AM |
| – | Many men on Reddit who seek long-term relationships claim that OLD is not working out for them (barely any likes, matches or dates), many women on Reddit who seek the same thing claim that there are almost no good men to choose from (most matches seek casual sex, are incompatible or creepy)It's still contradictory from my point of view. Most men who complain online about OLD not working are looking for an honest long-term relationship - so exactly what women complaining online about OLD say they regret the absence of. If these men with honest intentions are somehow automatically getting categorized as undesirable by a woman, then this actually changes her "no good men" verdict into a "my matches aren't good" verdict, doesn't it? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 11:26 AM |
| 2 | Many men on Reddit who seek long-term relationships claim that OLD is not working out for them (barely any likes, matches or dates), many women on Reddit who seek the same thing claim that there are almost no good men to choose from (most matches seek casual sex, are incompatible or creepy)I guess it's not contradictory if we completely separate physical and personal attraction from each other. Though, I still feel like there is a massive difference between "there are no good men" (often this is the exact wording) and "my matches are low quality, incompatible, or only want sex". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/26 11:44 PM |
| 2 | Many men on Reddit who seek long-term relationships claim that OLD is not working out for them (barely any likes, matches or dates), many women on Reddit who seek the same thing claim that there are almost no good men to choose from (most matches seek casual sex, are incompatible or creepy)I think it's contradictory because women search for good men (not just seeking casual sex, being compatible with the provided bio/prompts, not a creep), but men who fulfill this criteria get like one match per week on OLD - or sometimes even way less. Also the looks threshold goes both ways, so in theory there should always be someone to match with. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/26 11:26 PM |
| 1 | Many men on Reddit who seek long-term relationships claim that OLD is not working out for them (barely any likes, matches or dates), many women on Reddit who seek the same thing claim that there are almost no good men to choose from (most matches seek casual sex, are incompatible or creepy)If that's your opinion, there not being any good men on dating apps anymore, then I'll respect that and not dig any deeper. Personally I disagree with this notion though, because there still are happy relationships forming from OLD, even if it's less common than 10 years ago. So some women and men are still doing things on these apps that actually lead to success. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/26 10:14 PM |
| 1 | Many men on Reddit who seek long-term relationships claim that OLD is not working out for them (barely any likes, matches or dates), many women on Reddit who seek the same thing claim that there are almost no good men to choose from (most matches seek casual sex, are incompatible or creepy)I feel like in its core essence, your argument actually boils down to a variation of "no good men", too: There are no men with emotional intelligence or social autonomy on OLD apps. Where are they in that case? They need to be somewhere, because studies show that the overlap between the sexes when it comes to emotional intelligence is much larger than the average difference. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/26 10:01 PM |
| 2 | Many men on Reddit who seek long-term relationships claim that OLD is not working out for them (barely any likes, matches or dates), many women on Reddit who seek the same thing claim that there are almost no good men to choose from (most matches seek casual sex, are incompatible or creepy)I think this is a very sensible take, and I agree with it. Many stories of successful and non-shallow woman finding a real relationship on OLD go like this: A few weeks after installing the app, I got lucky and found the one. Many stories of successful and honest-intentioned men finding a real relationship on OLD go like this: After months of patience, I've finally matched with her. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/26 09:38 PM |
| 2 | Many men on Reddit who seek long-term relationships claim that OLD is not working out for them (barely any likes, matches or dates), many women on Reddit who seek the same thing claim that there are almost no good men to choose from (most matches seek casual sex, are incompatible or creepy)Wouldn't this mean that most good men get snatched up early and are never let go of again? And are men who stayed single past the age of 25 automatically not good men? I personally feel like the notion of "no good men in OLD" is based on some very broad assumptions. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/26 09:28 PM |
| 1 | Many men on Reddit who seek long-term relationships claim that OLD is not working out for them (barely any likes, matches or dates), many women on Reddit who seek the same thing claim that there are almost no good men to choose from (most matches seek casual sex, are incompatible or creepy)Yes, that's exactly the question I want to tackle with this thread. Are men with honest intentions actually a minority on OLD? If yes, why? If not, how can women claim that there are no good men on these apps? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/26 09:15 PM |
| 7 | Many men on Reddit who seek long-term relationships claim that OLD is not working out for them (barely any likes, matches or dates), many women on Reddit who seek the same thing claim that there are almost no good men to choose from (most matches seek casual sex, are incompatible or creepy)It might have to do with the fact that it's even more socially inacceptable for a woman to be undesirable than for a man, which might be the reason why unchosen woman come forward less often about this topic. At the same time, I feel like most women who actually do complain about OLD are women who claim that there's not a great selection to choose from on these apps, hence why I have an interest in finding out why that is the case. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/26 09:05 PM |
| 3 | Many men on Reddit who seek long-term relationships claim that OLD is not working out for them (barely any likes, matches or dates), many women on Reddit who seek the same thing claim that there are almost no good men to choose from (most matches seek casual sex, are incompatible or creepy)I've used this descriptor because I keep seeing this notion again and again: "Where did all the good men go?" or "Casual sex seems to be the gold standard for men these days". Good man equals a man with honest long-term relationship goals in this context. Why do you think that both women and men are not getting what they want in OLD? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/26 08:55 PM |
| 4 | Many men on Reddit who seek long-term relationships claim that OLD is not working out for them (barely any likes, matches or dates), many women on Reddit who seek the same thing claim that there are almost no good men to choose from (most matches seek casual sex, are incompatible or creepy)I can see that many self-proclaimed "good men" are actually just wolf dressed up as sheep, but what about the men that are actually looking for long-term relationships but who barely get any likes, matches or dates? What's your explanation on why these type of men exist, while most women seem to claim that they barely exist in OLD? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/26 08:49 PM |
| 3 | Many men on Reddit who seek long-term relationships claim that OLD is not working out for them (barely any likes, matches or dates), many women on Reddit who seek the same thing claim that there are almost no good men to choose from (most matches seek casual sex, are incompatible or creepy)This reminds me of the fact that there are personality-based matchmaking services, where you pay per date and barely get to know or see the other person before meeting up with them. There's actually people who pay decent sums of money to participate in these services. As you've mentioned, online dating apps are the complete opposite of this. Find someone you think is attractive, then pray that they're actually your soul mate or at least hope that they'll change just for you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/26 08:44 PM |
| 3 | Many men on Reddit who seek long-term relationships claim that OLD is not working out for them (barely any likes, matches or dates), many women on Reddit who seek the same thing claim that there are almost no good men to choose from (most matches seek casual sex, are incompatible or creepy)So you're saying that there are NONE good men on dating apps, then what about elsewhere? Are there good men in social circles or somewhere at home just minding their own business? And if there are, they never try OLD out? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/26 08:41 PM |
| 3 | Many men on Reddit who seek long-term relationships claim that OLD is not working out for them (barely any likes, matches or dates), many women on Reddit who seek the same thing claim that there are almost no good men to choose from (most matches seek casual sex, are incompatible or creepy)I see your point, and I think that it doesn't help that most of the household online dating apps have been bought out by the company Match Group. Also it seems like many people who've used these apps for a long time can attest a serious drop in quality of the app's effectiveness throughout the last decade. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/26 08:37 PM |
| – | The "Choose Better" debate always seems to devolve into defensive and/or deflecting off-topic discussionsAll men definitely aren't wonderful, but I highly doubt that the majority of man is looking for casual sex when dating, especially not the unchosen average men who know exactly that they're not in the position to get it. I think the truth of OLD is that the most likely person you're going to match with is also the most likely to aim for casual sex, because the men for whom it worked out in the past (tall, fit, wealthy, confident, etc.) are returning there again and again. Most apps even boost yo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 11:22 PM |
| – | The "Choose Better" debate always seems to devolve into defensive and/or deflecting off-topic discussionsThis is such a broad statement that I have to ask: Why do you think that there are not many great options to choose from? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 07:01 PM |
| – | The "Choose Better" debate always seems to devolve into defensive and/or deflecting off-topic discussions> It was determined that the bottom 80% of men (in terms of attractiveness) are competing for the bottom 22% of women and the top 78% of women are competing for the top 20% of men. Source: Tinder Experiments II: Guys, unless you are really hot you are probably better off not wasting your time on Tinder — a quantitative socio-economic study Edit: I acknowledge that the linked blog post isn't an actual study and I've linked to a better data set in my original post. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 06:39 PM |
| – | The "Choose Better" debate always seems to devolve into defensive and/or deflecting off-topic discussionsThanks for copying a common response from my common response lists I guess? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 06:32 PM |
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