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NewJerseySmiles Archive

View 1 post and 19 comments by NewJerseySmiles on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
47

NewJerseySmiles/r/Divorce_Men23/07/21 03:36 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

You are going to have a tougher time with women in their 20s because most of them have not been married and dont have any kids. Once you start with women in their mid 30s, you will see many have kids and it wont be an issue. And by mid 40s it is pretty much assumed everyone does.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/21 12:11 AM
1

I really hope it helps. Stay Strong!!
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/21 10:35 PM
2

I hope my post and advice helped. Thankfully, I have some great friends that have given me tremendous support. Without that support, this horrible situation would have been even worse. I am not sure I would have been able to get back on my feet again without that support. Make sure you get yourself that support. Friends, Family, Self Help groups in person or on internet. Whatever you need to do to get it. Just remember, the path forward may be unclear but it will present itself when it needs to.…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/21 04:01 PM
1

With the personality type of a "Fixer," I keep thinking about things until I find an answer/solution to it. Some things just dont have an answer or way to fix it. That doesnt stop my brain from automatically trying to resolve it though.... and in some cases over and over and over again. All of my mental energy was going to thinking about my situation and perseverating over it, leaving me no mental energy to deal with other issues. I had to find a way to stop my brain from trying to resolve a sit…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/21 03:31 PM
2

The procrastination is very common because you are spending so much mental energy on the divorce. The "getting stuck in your head" is also very common. To help with that, I do 2 things. One thing is called, "BOX BREATHING" (Google it). Actually Navy Seals are taught to do Box Breathing while they are in combat in order to cope with the stress they are under. I do Box Breathing multiple times a day and can be done anywhere, including at work. The 2nd thing is called PROGRESSIVE MUSCLE RELAXATION …
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/21 02:12 PM
2

I am not a Doctor and dont want to give any medical advice. You should see a Psychiatrist and discuss your specific situation with him/her. With that being said, for me Wellbutrin was more of a mood regulator. It really didnt help with anxiety or depression symptoms. It basically allowed me to stop crying, to stop mood fluctuations, and to stop the perseveration. Thinking back to when I was at my worst, I would just start crying every hour for about 10 minutes for no reason. I just couldnt self-…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/21 02:02 PM
1

Click on my name, then click on "more options" then "send message."
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/21 01:46 PM
1

I am glad. Keep the Faith and dont lose faith in yourself. You will get through it. Trust yourself and know that even though you dont see the path out, the path will be there when the time is right.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/21 08:39 PM
1

I loved doing 5:2. I lost a steady 4 lbs a week for 16 weeks. My body still craves it, but I had to stop. I was losing too much weight. I am now 6'3, 195 with a cyclist's build. Glad you are doing the other things and they are helping.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/21 08:37 PM
2

Thank you. I appreciate that. Best advice I can say is that IT GETS BETTER! I actually gave my STBXW a birthday card a few days ago. Granted it was snarky, but it was still polite. It read, "Have a nice birthday. Hope you find a new husband that you like better then me. :) " LOL
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/21 08:35 PM
2

Just make sure that prenup is ROCK ROCK ROCK solid.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/21 08:31 PM
3

I agree. I dont see the point in getting remarried again. For what purpose?
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/21 08:30 PM
4

Definitely do the Meetup get togethers. Also search Facebook groups. Type in your state and the word singles and see what comes up. For example: NY Singles or NJ Singles, etc. From there you can refine the search to more local. I find the Facebook Groups to be more Activity centered and Meetup to be more exercise centered. I participate in both. BTW, dont focus on what she is doing. The BEST REVENGE you can have on her, is for her to see you happy.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/21 08:29 PM
5

Thankfully my STBXW sees the value in the kids having a father around. She is comfortable with Shared Custody. Surprisingly, the kids were not surprised by the news. When I told my 9 year old her response was, "Yeah, whenever you hug mommy she doesnt hug you back." Funny, my 9 year old figured it out before I did.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/21 08:19 PM
1

My attorney tells me ABSOLUTELY Do Not Move Out if at all possible. Now if things are really ugly, it may be better for your sanity and to not "catch a charge" to move out, but if you can stay there in peaceful terms (even if it means swallowing the discomfort or ignoring stuff) then you should do it. When I asked my attorney why I should not move out, he said the judge can see it as "(Financial) Abandonment" and this may impact how assets are divided, alimony, child support etc. Also he said ev…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/21 02:29 PM
1

I am going through the Divorce process. My lawyer said a Lump Sum payment for Alimony is a smart move to make because it would be for a lower amount. The reason it is lower is for reasons other poster stated: inflation/depreciation of future payments, risk of you dying, etc. Plus this also frees him up to move forward with life and remarry/live with someone if he chooses. If you are getting a significant discount, I would do it. I actually plan on doing it. With Child Support, I dont think there…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/21 03:23 AM
2

I had a very similiar question to the above and I asked both my Lawyer and Accountant the same question. My Accountant told me I could get the CHILD TAX CREDIT switched back and forth between us (every year switching) as long it is written in the Separation Agreement. He said the DEPENDENT CARE CREDIT would automatically go to her because she would be the Custodial Parent and the kids would be by her the majority of the time. My Lawyer basically confirmed the above but not as specifically. He ju…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/21 08:19 PM
2

You can find alimony calculators online for your state. In the end it is up to the judge, but there are formulas for your state which is most commonly used, baring extreme circumstances. My understanding is once you file the Complaint of Divorce, the clock stops. Meaning any new 401K contributions are solely yours. Let that be some comfort for you as it takes over a year for the divorce to finalize. The more years you are in the marriage, the more alimony you will have to give, the more assets w…
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/21 03:46 PM
2

The whole Emotional Abuse thing is a slippery slope for me, and one I do not understand. I had a platonic female friend who was going through a rough divorce with her husband and they were living together. They would get into screaming matches for which they both participated and both were wrong. Her lawyer convinced her that the husband was emotionally abusing her. She called police, he was arrested, restraining orders were filed, he was kicked out of house. As others mentioned custody, child s…
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/21 03:34 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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