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Newbie1955 Archive

View 5 posts and 282 comments by Newbie1955 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Check out Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. I think it's been renamed Queer Guy, because they started featuring some women as clients, too. They're marketed as a "makeover" group but in reality most of the screen time is dedicated to life skills--self care, communication skills, social skills, healthy self-prioritization, and other skills that are directly transferable within a relationship. It also shows how the standard self-improvement advice can be implemented, all without the side dish of mis…
/r/ExRedPill16/05/23 05:19 PM
7

I'd recommend getting more involved in the hobbies you enjoy, in real-life social applications. Debating online isn't very helpful to the going-outside-and-interacting-with-people goal, but perhaps there is a feminist-centric book club you could look into joining? Or a men's group? So longas it's irl and not online. Having hobbies that are mostly male-dominated is fine. You'll meet men there, and you will make friends with men. Those men have their own social circles, and will invite you to even…
/r/ExRedPill22/02/23 12:53 AM
1

Bit of a shameless self-promotion, but I spent two years researching Red Pill and ended up writing a book challenging and debunking it. This subreddit was essential to it's success, and many of the members here ended up beta reading for me or being an advanced reader. The dating coach who runs School of Attraction ended up doing a podcast interview about it, and I know he recommends it to his clients. I've had many men tell me it greatly helped in their deradicalization. It's not a thing that wi…
/r/ExRedPill11/02/23 09:40 PM
4

I'm so sorry you are struggling right now. The damndable thing about RP and BP is that it convinces men they need to "be" a certain way or look a certain way in order to "get" women, at which point they will be happy. But a woman can't make you happy. That's putting an impossible level of pressure onto someone who has their own life to figure out. Asking and/or expecting a woman to take on that mental and emotional load to help a man love himself is... unreasonable. And women are likely to simpl…
/r/ExRedPill01/02/23 11:40 PM
4

My book does :) It's called Red Pill Ideology: Lifting the Shiny Wrapping from the Manosphere by Cynthia Payne and is listed in the pinned "detox" thread at the top of this subreddit. You can read a short excerpt on my website, which happens to discuss this very topic.
/r/ExRedPill23/01/23 11:59 PM
13

Because in RP, women are not sexual creatures. They're not fully human in the way men are human, and so they do not have agency over their own sexuality like men do. In RP, women's sexuality is only in response to the men around her and has nothing to do with her own desires, worldviews, goals, or preferences. So, you see, women do not have ideas in their heads--they only respond to the men around them and since women are the picky ones, they have hurtles around their sexual choices. A sufficien…
/r/ExRedPill22/01/23 01:20 PM
5

"It's not out of the norm" This exactly. Things get shared and get exposure when they are novel. When they are different. When they are not normal. What gets views is extremes on both ends. The overwhelming average is... normal. Not interesting. So it doesn't get traction. The problem with the internet and social media is that it's possible to be so inundated with novel that you get tricked into thinking it's normal.
/r/ExRedPill21/01/23 01:39 PM
10

Let me save you some time: You are doing something right with your life. Don't go looking for trouble. No need to google it or figure out what it is, just keep doing what you are doing.
/r/ExRedPill15/01/23 03:16 AM
5

I would advise you to seriously reconsider committing to this man. He is waving multiple red flags and, for your sake, they should not be dismissed. Another critical tenant about red pill is the idea that women after age 30 have no value, and start losing value after age 25. Really think about what that means for your future. You think it's bad when he badmouths women now? Wait until it's mixed in with how much better and sexier and higher value all these younger women look. I wrote a book analy…
/r/ExRedPill14/01/23 11:14 PM
11

This is a logical extrapolation of Alpha-seed Beta-need (also false), and it is absolutely critical component of red pill ideology. If they can't make you believe that women are only capable of transactional relationships, then you might just go out there are try to find a woman who wants and is capable of a healthy relationship. Such a woman existing would negate red pill's AWALT assertions. Shallow people who just want what others can give them certainly exist amongst all genders, but red pill…
/r/ExRedPill14/01/23 12:32 PM
35

This guy is fantastic. Like, he's legitimately trying to help people (and men especially) learn new skills that will improve their lives and solve their problems. Tate thinks that if you cook a meal you're a simp, so yeah he probably wouldn't respect this guy at all.
/r/ExRedPill14/01/23 01:19 AM
2

"Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl, like someone else said, is incredible, and a very short read for how big of a punch it packs. I would also add "A River In Darkness" by Masaji Ishikawa, who is a man who escaped North Korea. His story also puts a lot of things into perspective, especially when it comes to the relationships in our lives.
/r/ExRedPill12/01/23 12:09 AM
3

This is so true. Well said <3
/r/ExRedPill06/01/23 07:21 PM
2

What else can a man be, if not a father who dedicates 100% of his time, attention, emotional energy, and ambition into his children? Or would this, by definition, be an unhealthy man who is forcing himself to live vicariously through his children? Wouldn't you expect a healthy man to want "more" than fatherhood? Why would it be different for women?
/r/ExRedPill03/01/23 11:22 PM
6

Because some women are terrible people and know it's a sore spot that will hurt you if poked. That's really all it boils down to. I also second another poster's comment: if this is happening at work, then this is sexual harassment that needs to be reported. Best wishes <3
/r/ExRedPill03/01/23 10:06 PM
1

You're really going to put credible intent of rape/murder/burglary/whatever the hell these men plan on doing to us when they follow us home at 2am without consent into the same category as "having a hard time"? You genuinely believe that men getting their ego stroked is more important than women's physical safety? Really think on this. If you tried seafood 20 times, and 2 of those times you had an allergic reaction so bad you had to call in medical help to not die, would you learn to avoid seafo…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 12:25 PM
1

It's frustrating on both sides, and I hear you there. The reason the only thing you hear from women on this issue is "harassment," it's because basically every woman has been harassed as a direct result of her trying to give a platonic compliment to the wrong guy. In my case, it was when I was 18, delivering pizzas to pay for college, and he was a coworker. I don't even remember the compliment. I think it was something along the lines of "I like your new haircut." For the next month, I couldn't …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/23 09:06 PM
1

When you've consistently got women telling you the same thing, why do you refuse to believe them? https://www.theroot.com/men-just-dont-trust-women-and-this-is-a-problem-1822523100
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/23 12:57 PM
75

"Dude, I went outside, looked at real people, and realized 99% of this shit is not just false and childish, but legit damaging to my life goals. Let's go do XYZ instead."
/r/ExRedPill31/12/22 12:52 PM
7

In a patriarchal society, men's value is defined (largely) by how much power he has over the woman(en) he has sex with. This, by necessity, creates a superior/inferior dynamic in romantic relationships. Women become objectified for the status they can provide to the men. When women as a whole reject overt submissiveness and exercise the option of rejecting this dynamic instead of accepting being the second-class citizen, this creates a great deal of resentment in men who define their self-worth …
/r/ExRedPill29/12/22 11:29 PM
1

I highly recommend it, but I may be a touch biased ;) I have a part of the second chapter published for free on my website. It's mostly meant to give potential readers an idea of if they like my writing style rather than be a comprehensive summary of the book (or even of the topics discussed in the excerpt), but at the very least it will tell you if you can't stand my style, lol!
/r/ExRedPill27/12/22 11:53 PM
10

Woman being terrible at sex = man still gets an orgasm and sexual gratification. Dude being terrible at sex = no orgasm AND a physically painful experience. If sex was repeatedly a negative experience for you that caused you pain with very little, if any, pleasure, wouldn't that cause you to be more selective in choosing your partners? And this doesn't even touch on the idea of men having sex = social status increase while women having sex = social scorn and slut shaming.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/22 12:55 AM
3

So... legit something like this did happen to me, with me being on the female side. The only reason my friend, who wasn't my friend at all but just a woman who was part of the group I was hanging out with while hanging out with my friend, decided all on her own that I needed to meet the guy. Nothing against the guy, but I wasn't interested. So she, against my wishes (alcohol was involved), went up to the guy and basically had the interaction you had. Except I wasn't interested. And then the guy …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 10:17 PM
1

No matter how politically correct you phrase it, the existence of context in female gaze means women simply aren’t going to be interested in men without context i.e. the vast majority of men, correct? What I'm saying is that how we measure male sexuality isn't the "only correct and valid way." It's one common variation, and dismissing any other type of sexuality simply because it is not a mirror image of the "only way real humans do sexuality" is the problem--NOT the fact that women are not a co…
/r/ExRedPill07/12/22 10:55 PM
1

You are welcome. I've also read Barbra Cartland... and yes, present day romances are not comparable. Her books are... charming. Quaint. Sweet. Check out Lauren Blakely, Ruby Dixon, Ava Harrison, or Eric Morgan. If you like the historical setting, then try Tessa Dare. If you want something a little more tame and mainstream, try the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon, but know you're getting something a little less steamy. Don't pick up the safe-to-be-seen-in-public with PG-13 stuff they sell in t…
/r/ExRedPill07/12/22 08:50 PM
2

Except maybe believing women who respond to questions while in a place of safety and accounting for how the differences in the male and female real world experiences might effect such behavior? Genuinely not trying to be combative here--really not. But the standard of evidence being asked for is impossible given the current social culture. If the only type of proof we will accept for the ability to problem solve is how many apples an animal picks apples from a tall branch, then we're going to th…
/r/ExRedPill07/12/22 06:27 PM
10

I also find men sexually attractive. Especially forearm's. Forearms are so sexy! Problem is, I absolutely cannot, under any circumstances (beyond being alone with my long-term partner), express this attraction or I end up getting stalked and harassed by men and then shamed for leading them on. If I suggest anywhere other than the void of the internet that I find men physically appealing, then I put my physical safety at risk.
/r/ExRedPill07/12/22 03:29 PM
22

They're the same ideology as red pill, which is to say that they break down people into objects and rank them based on what they have deemed to be an objective value system, then try and foster a transactional relationship based on what they assume the one-size-fits-all monolith of the other gender wants.
/r/ExRedPill30/11/22 11:24 AM
1

It's very difficult to fully understand if you've never experienced it, but the risk of very real physical danger is ever-present when being approached by men. Being desired by those larger and stronger than you puts you in a fantastic place economically and socially, but a truly dangerous place physically. When you have the chance, spend some time perusing r/whenwomenrefuse . Also, as you read in that forum, consider that there is not a woman alive over the age of 16 who hasn't had a guy be cha…
/r/ExRedPill04/11/22 02:52 PM
3

Yes, yes, and yes! I find the differences between the "male gaze" and the "female gaze" very interesting. What men find attractive and appealing in other men does not necessarily mean women find the same things attractive or appealing. A smiling man, outside in the sun, petting a dog is going to get a lot more attention than a stoic-faced dude in the gym mirror pulling up his shirt to show his abs. And yet....
/r/ExRedPill02/11/22 12:47 PM
5

You are welcome and I hope it helps you find what you are looking for. In the future, I'd recommend requesting specific books from your library instead of pirating them. Pretty much all libraries have an e-book catalogue and if they don't have the title you can request they purchase it. I find most libraries jump at the chance to respond to their communities' reading needs and have a budget set aside specifically for people who want books enough to request them. This way you don't risk your comp…
/r/ExRedPill01/11/22 01:38 PM
9

I actually wrote a whole book on this, and it is linked in the Detox thread pinned to the top of this forum: Red Pill Ideology: Lifting the Shiny Wrapping from the Manosphere. To start, you can check out Sexism and Assertive Courtship Strategies by J. Hall and M. Canterberry and published in the Journal Sex Roles.
/r/ExRedPill01/11/22 12:28 PM
1

Ah, yes I did misunderstand, thank you for clarifying. This is also a nightmare scenario for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 12:23 PM
8

I would suggest that if a man finds it humiliating to not be in a relationship with a woman, then he's seeing women and relationships as status symbols. And that's not a mindset conductive to being in a relationship with an actual human being.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 12:48 AM
3

Do you have any social circles outside of school that you interact with physically, and not just online? OLD is a shit show for many reasons, and real life gives a much better return on investment. What are you into that you do with people? Cooking classes? Book club? Bowling team? Volunteer work? I'm specifically recommending activities that you do for YOU, and not as a way to meet women. Being social and enjoying the social increases your opportunities to be social. I know a guy who was really…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 12:45 AM
2

It's a bit self-serving, but you may be interested in my book, Red Pill Ideology: Lifting the Shiny Wrapping from the Manosphere by Cynthia Payne. It's on the Red Pill Detox list pinned at the top of this forum, and you can read a brief excerpt from my website to see if you get along with my writing style. I did not approach the subject from a feminist perspective per say, more from a logical and scientific perspective (my background is in biology), but a number of my red pilled and ex-red pille…
/r/ExRedPill12/10/22 11:58 AM
8

You are very welcome :) My book is titled Red Pill Ideology: Lifting the Shiny Wrapping from the Manosphere by Cynthia Payne. Reddit doesn't like Amazon links, but it's listed in the Detox Kit thread pinned to the top of this forum :)
/r/ExRedPill06/10/22 02:29 AM
11

I spend quite a bit of time addressing this issue in my book, because it. keeps. coming. up. Here is the short version: It's all a lie. The study they keep referencing was done by Dr. Rebecca Turner and first used to support this claim by a Dr. Eric Keroack in his paper written for a Christian abstinence magazine. Keroack used his political position to get this idea mainstreamed, but Turner's research had literally nothing to do with pair bonding. Keroack took some idea she was playing with abou…
/r/ExRedPill05/10/22 11:29 PM
8

Moreover, how is someone that displays little to no self control (through multiple partners) then develop self control through the same experience? This is a common assumption I've found in red pill mindsets, and it works on the foundational assumption that women have no sex drive of their own. This line of thinking simply cannot hold unless the woman is objectified to the point where her sexual responses have nothing to do with her and everything to do with serving the men around her. I'll try …
/r/ExRedPill02/10/22 01:24 PM
4

Because sex isn't a simple biological insertion of Tab-A-into-Slot-B, repeated with multiple partners like muscle memory. Having multiple casual sexual encounters while single is a wildly different behavior than cheating on a partner while in a committed relationship. The mechanics may be the same, but the environment, behavior, and motivations are not. Yes, there is a high correlation between failed marriages and high body counts. This is because sex isn't the same behavior for everyone--some u…
/r/ExRedPill02/10/22 01:07 PM
1

...what possible reason would she have to lie? Why do you assume she's lying when women say this stuff all the time? Just look around the other replies on this post--women are saying this or versions of this. Dating is dangerous for us in a way and to a level that most men simply don't understand. We don't have it easier--we have it different. If you'll notice, she wasn't posting on a red pill/dating/any sort of subreddit like that. This was a subreddit that posts visual representations of data,…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 04:40 PM
2

I did about two years worth of research on red pill beliefs, culminating in my book on the subject. There are four main categories on the spectrum of red pill ideology, IMHO. The furthest two extremes are the MGTOW movement and, also on the spectrum of ideology but a different branch, is Black Pill. Roughly half or so (again, in my estimation) are pretty far down the ideology spectrum but haven't yet picked a MGTOW or Black Pill branch. The other half are mostly men who don't necessarily "live t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 01:49 PM
2

Dead if you guess wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 04:00 PM
7

I like to use this example of a woman who documented the results of 6.5 weeks of her online dating life. Yes, she did get 290 matches, but a solid 40% of them were straight-up harassments and rape threats. And those were not all the men looking to do her violence--just the ones so upfront with their intentions that they could be weeded out via text messages. Daily threats to their lives and safety is not something most men have to deal with in the "normal" day-to-day of trying to get dates. I th…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 12:18 AM
2

Excellent post. Well done!
/r/ExRedPill14/07/22 12:50 PM
3

I wrote a whole book on this and the fundamental ideology of red pill :) You can read the free excerpt I have on my website, and if you like the style, then the amazon links are at the end: https://cynthiapayne.webnode.page/red-pill-ideology/
/r/ExRedPill12/07/22 02:40 PM
1

No, men are not worthless. I feel like this is built-up animosity from generations of objectification on both ends, which is all now socially coming to a head because--frankly--we are rich enough as individuals that we no longer "need" the other sex. Male/female relationships have traditionally been based heavily on an assumed transaction: protector/provider for fertility/caring/home managing. Women in the West can provide and protect themselves now (paid jobs), and we've got all sorts of techno…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/22 10:39 PM
1

I've done a lot of research into red pill and black pill, and the way I look at it is as more of a spectrum--Black Pill and MGTOW are two more extreme branches of Red Pill's ideology. They all share the same foundational beliefs. I wrote a book examining this ideology, which you may find useful. I've had a few former/current red pill and black pill reviewers, you can read what they've said. Many others have reached out to tell me it helped them challenge some of the beliefs that were holding the…
/r/ExRedPill04/07/22 03:47 PM
1

I am an author who wrote and published a book seeking to verify the claims of Red Pill, and to confirm or debunk those claims as needed by applying hard data and scientific scrutiny (my background is in Biology). Joining and participating in both red pill and anti-red-pill discussions allowed me to get both side's perspectives on the issues, and helped me to better understand all sides. I am a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 07:14 PM
1

That's not a gesture of respect. That's a basic act of human decency. Treating other women as an object and dehumanizing them doesn't get men any brownie points when he treats a woman he's interested in as an actual whole person.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 12:58 PM
2

Thanks! It's been a cool journey. I'm hoping to get an audio version started soon, since so many people have an easier time fitting those into their schedules (including me!) You may find the Goodreads reviews more interesting. Take care!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/22 05:15 PM
3

Lol!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/22 02:47 PM
3

Yup, that's me :) It's published now.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/22 02:47 PM
1

I've got a tread pinned to my wall with, I think, 130+ comments, many about the excerpt. Ultimately, the excerpt is a writing sample designed to inform potential readers if they like my writing style or not--it's not designed to be a complete, condensed summary of the book. I was limited by my contract to a word limit on what I could offer for free, and the excerpt actually cuts off less than halfway through my analysis of the 80/20 rule. A lot of red pill claims are complex and nuanced, and it …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/22 02:46 PM
2

Feel free to check out some more male reviews: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60603909-red-pill-ideology
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/22 02:15 PM
3

This is me :) Hit me up after you've read it, I'll be happy to chat :)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/22 02:12 PM
7

New book analyzing the claims of Red Pill from a scientific perspective, which may be of interest: From the accomplishments of feminism to the dynamics of the modern dating market, Red Pill and the larger Manosphere claim that everything we have been taught about women, society, and seduction is a lie. Within Red Pill, the concepts of Alpha-Seed, Beta-Need and the Feminine Imperative are accepted as gospel. Red Pill men are shown how masculinity is under attack, and are instructed to always main…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/22 01:58 PM
2

Aww, thank you! <3
/r/ExRedPill17/06/22 10:20 PM
1

Next time you get the chance, look up "benevolent sexism." You are suffering from it. Many women do, too. Then come back and please read this.
/r/ExRedPill17/06/22 11:38 AM
1

You are 100% correct--if sex, if physical release with another flesh-and-blood person was all men really wanted, then it would make sense to just get into sugaring or to hire a prostitute. Easy. Red Pill says we need to look at women's actions to discern their motivations, not their words. I think this is pretty good advice. If we apply it to men, and we see they are not doing this very logical thing, then we must conclude that it isn't just sex men want. If we go by what men say (I just want to…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 08:36 PM
1

I do intend to record an audio version for this book this summer. We will see how long that takes in reality--I've never done an audiobook before. I've got all the equipment since I do voiceovers for my youtube channel, it's just a matter of getting consistent blocks of time set aside where the kids won't be interrupting me every 10 minutes. There are no plans for an audio version of The Last Dragon Princess. The book has performed well, but still not quite well enough to justify the expense to …
/r/ExRedPill16/06/22 07:54 PM
1

I agree that knowingly withholding sex to 'test' a man isn't kosher. However, that's not the dynamic that was happening with me and I don't believe it's the typical dynamic in dating. It does happen, but I don't believe it's the norm. It's experienced, from the female side, more as a way for us to quiet our own insecurities and meet our own emotional needs, rather than a way to "make sure he's up to standards." If that makes sense. Ultimately, they're not called emotions because they are rationa…
/r/ExRedPill13/06/22 11:20 PM
1

Hi there and thanks for reaching out! I sent you a chat request :)
/r/ExRedPill13/06/22 11:04 PM
2

I'm totally fine with that. What consenting adults do is none of my business.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 11:44 PM
1

No... my argument is that sex is not a need because lack of sex does not prevent someone from having a healthy and productive life. And then I gave examples of how these two are treated differently in extreme examples: a starving man can easily be excused for stealing food. No man can ever be excused for stealing sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 09:31 PM
1

I would encourage men to use empathy to try and not take her rejection as an insult, or as negative feedback. She has her own baggage around sex, and it isn't necessarily about you. Try to use empathy and understanding the other perspective to not hear what isn't being said. Paradoxically, by not immediately disengaging from friendship and confirming for her that all you value about her is sex, you become the one exception in her universe. If you do truly value her for her and not just for the i…
/r/ExRedPill11/06/22 07:51 PM
1

Alright--I feel we are getting somewhere :) This is my point: what is being said is not what is being heard. The reality is different from what each person is interpreting, because there is a lack of empathy and attempt to understand the other's perspective.
/r/ExRedPill11/06/22 04:37 PM
2

I agree entirely. I see the clear-as-day misandry in feminist groups, too. There is a toxic lack of empathy and a dearth of any attempt to understand the other's perspective on both sides.
/r/ExRedPill11/06/22 04:03 PM
1

Thank you! That's so nice of you to say :)
/r/ExRedPill11/06/22 04:01 PM
2

Things are not better for us in this regard because we do not wish to be objectified and only wanted for our bodies. A buffet table full of food we're allergic to is the same as no choice. I now understand that men rejecting my friendship when I would not include sex was not intended as a personal insult--but from a woman's perspective, that is how it is taken. Just like women do not intend it as a personal insult when they turn men down for sex--but from a man's perspective, that's how it's tak…
/r/ExRedPill11/06/22 02:35 PM
1

Sex is not a physical or psychological need. You will survive just fine and be fully capable of being a functioning human being if you are celibate. I would argue that sex is required for happiness. However, no one is entitled to being happy. I America, it's even spelled out in our founding documents: you are entitled to the pursuit of happiness. Whether you catch it or not is up to you. No one is required to make happiness happen for you. So a sexless relationship is a problem and it's valid gr…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 02:24 PM
1

Yes--the book contains a full bibliography/reference list at the end. We'll see what happens. It's been getting a lot of traffic and sales so far, and it's only been out for three days. I'm pretty happy with the early performance :)
/r/ExRedPill10/06/22 08:46 PM
1

Have you got Kindle Unlimited? The book is free with the subscription. I'm limited by my contract of how much of the book can be shared. But just think--if the excerpt has you this intrigued, just imagine what tidbits of interest you'll find in the full 280 pages :)
/r/ExRedPill10/06/22 08:37 PM
1

I agree :) The bibliography at the end of the book is about 25 pages long. The sample excerpt is just meant to give potential readers a feel for my writing style.
/r/ExRedPill10/06/22 08:19 PM
1

Thank you :) All in all, while a lot of Red Pill makes sense on the surface, when you examine their claims in detail you discover that red pill just doesn't know how to Science. They've got many, many flaws in their evolutionary theories. One of the main struggles I've seen men here and in r/incelexit struggle with when they WANT to leave red pill is that they believe red pill is based in sound scientific principles. One man posed a very valid question to me: Is it misogyny if it's true? That's …
/r/ExRedPill10/06/22 08:17 PM
1

Can't men get emotional validation from their friends and then masturbate to meet their sexual needs? If not--why not? What about sex with a woman is different from sex on your own? Or with a doll? Or with a prostitute? What makes all these things inferior to sex with a willing woman who chose you? I'll tell you--it's the fact that she chose you. That's an emotional need that runs far deeper than men's need for sex. It's the reason OnlyFans makes a killing when free porn is abundant on the inter…
/r/ExRedPill10/06/22 08:03 PM
2

Yeah, I see a lot of projection from both sides. I suppose that's to be expected, but it can make a mess of things. I do think it's universal, but not going to lie--being inside our heads can get screwy pretty fast. Women are inherently sexual beings with their own sexual needs. So we do like sex and want sex--but then we're trained to believe that's all we are valuable for. So we emphasize that part of ourselves and lead with it, just like a man might lead with a fancy car and expensive clothes…
/r/ExRedPill10/06/22 07:48 PM
2

I agree, and that's all I'm saying. I feel like a lot of hurts and insecurities are based on miscommunications or a lack of understanding other's perspectives. I don't think women fully understand how closely tied men's emotional need for validation is tied directly into getting sex, and I don't think men fully understand how closely tied women's emotional needs are to being valued for something other than sex.
/r/ExRedPill10/06/22 05:06 PM
3

How is this any different than what I said? Legit question--you see it as an insult to be turned down for sex. I get that, but hear me out: You perceive her giving the "best part" (ie. the "most valuable part") of herself to other men. To you, she isn't worth being around without sex being involved. Maybe that's not an intentional insult to her--but can you see how it would be perceived that way by the woman? That you are stating, through your actions, that the only part of her you are truly int…
/r/ExRedPill10/06/22 04:40 PM
3

Absolutely. OMG absolutely. "men only want one thing" is instilled in us from literally before puberty, and then is confirmed again and again in teenagerhood and early adulthood every time we offer friendship to a guy, he makes a move, and then completely leaves when we say we just want to be friends. I can't tell you how many guys I thought was my friend that this happened with. I'm older now and I understand better that these guys likely were interesting in the whole package that is me, but we…
/r/ExRedPill10/06/22 02:23 PM
4

Exactly. It's not just red pill men who worry that the opposite sex is incapable of loving them the way they want to be loved. That's a universal insecurity.
/r/ExRedPill10/06/22 01:53 PM
11

I literally just published (this week) a book written for this situation :) I'm sorry your brother is going through a rough time right now. I've spent the past two years researching Red Pill, and like you said--it acts as a type of therapy for traumatized men. Psychologically speaking, red pill actually does some good in that regard, but red pill is also a trap, and a toxic one at that. Check out my reviews on goodreads and amazon and see if it sounds like it would be helpful to you. I've also g…
/r/ExRedPill10/06/22 12:32 PM
1

Well, thank you so much :) That's a hell of a compliment and was so nice of you to take the time to write <3 I don't think I need that second cup of coffee now, dang :)
/r/ExRedPill10/06/22 11:58 AM
4

In any way that does not relate directly to her beauty or sexuality. Beauty is appreciated--but it's a double-edged sword. It's never taken as a pure compliment, but also as a judgement. As in, we are keenly aware we are being judged on this huge insecurity. Things she has accomplished and worked towards that are her own. Hobbies, school, work, etc. When others compliment personality traits is also appreciated: her intelligence, her humor, her empathy. I tend to be a bit socially awkward and tha…
/r/ExRedPill10/06/22 11:55 AM
2

You are very welcome :) Glad I could help.
/r/ExRedPill10/06/22 01:18 AM
2

Thank you! I imagine it's probably responding to the fact that none of the reviews are verified purchases? That's all I can think of. It's normal practice in publishing to send out advanced copies so that reviews can be submitted on publication day, and since the book is brand new, all my reviews are advanced ones.
/r/ExRedPill09/06/22 08:31 PM
2

I've had a few reach out. I imagine most of them aren't very proud of that part of their lives and would rather not relive it. I agree their stories and guidance would be immensely valuable for men walking the same path now. You may find this video relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=be\_Ms3nVG10
/r/ExRedPill09/06/22 08:29 PM
1

Thank you! :)
/r/ExRedPill09/06/22 08:24 PM
30

I don't think men necessarily have it "better." I think men have it "different." Like you said, the best the other side can do is try to empathize and intellectually understand the other's challenge, but neither will ever be able to fully internalize the experiences of the other. One of these differences is that men face a ton more rejection than women do. That's not to say women don't deal with rejection, only that men deal with it more. That takes a psychological toll that is accumulative and …
/r/ExRedPill09/06/22 07:45 PM
1

You're suffering from what I tend to call the "starving man's syndrome." Because your emotional and sexual needs are not being met, you daydream with rose-colored glasses, as it were. Being objectified as a sex object and only being valued for what you can provide others is not a fun way to live. Being objectified means you are seen as an object--your needs, your desires, your opinions are not seen as relevant. Being objectified as a sex object means others use you to masturbate with, like a liv…
/r/ExRedPill09/06/22 07:19 PM
3

Ahh! That makes more sense, thank you for clarifying :) No, I never subscribed to red pill. A man I respected starting taking the red pill and went to extremes with it. I started reading and trying to either refute or validate the claims he was making--some checked out, but most didn't. At some point I realized I had 60 pages of notes and a bookshelf full of reference material. I had enough for a book, so I wrote one :)
/r/ExRedPill09/06/22 02:49 AM
2

I'm the author. Have I grifted? Are you asking if I'm a scammer? No... not a scammer. It's a legit book. You can check out the "look inside" feature on Amazon if you want to check :)
/r/ExRedPill09/06/22 01:49 AM
1

Hello. I am not familiar with Buss's work, but a brief scan of his Wikipedia doesn't shoot up anything bizarre. The field of evolutionary psychology and evolutionary biology is very, very new and there are a lot of competing theories within it. There really isn't a theorist who isn't controversial within the field :)
/r/ExRedPill09/06/22 01:38 AM
2

Oh, you'll love it! I also write fiction (this is my first nonfiction). If nothing else, there are about 25 pages of references at the end of the book. You may see some interesting source material to inspire you for your project :)
/r/ExRedPill08/06/22 09:51 PM
3

You are very welcome, and thank you--I hope you enjoy :)
/r/ExRedPill08/06/22 06:40 PM
13

I think you may benefit from this book, which systematically goes through Red Pill claims and explains how the foundational ideology is toxic to both men and women: https://www.amazon.com/Red-Pill-Ideology-Wrapping-Manosphere-ebook/dp/B0B2VC7671
/r/ExRedPill08/06/22 01:07 PM
40

Yes. Just do a brief survey of the couples you know in real life. Are you seeing large age gaps where the women went for men 20 years their senior? Are you seeing only ripped, rich men in any sort of relationship at all? Reality does not match up to red pill rhetoric.
/r/ExRedPill06/06/22 03:27 PM
1

Oh, awesome! Thank you :) I hope you enjoy <3
/r/ExRedPill06/06/22 02:53 PM
12

If red pill is helping you to be happy and moving you towards the kind of life you want, then by all means, keep doing what works. if red pill is causing you to have even worse relationships with women than before, and you're suffering from even more self-defeating thoughts that are inhibiting you from being happy, and developing a victim mentality that will only hold you back in life, then those are good reasons to rethink what red pill has given you.
/r/ExRedPill05/06/22 12:24 PM
2

Omg you cracked the code, lol! I'm glad you were able to get out of an abusive relationship, and it's cool that you still care enough to want to help him. The book is live now, although the official launch date isn't until June 8th. The e-book is available, and the paperback is showing up, but looks like it's still percolating through the system. It should be available for sale sometime this weekend: https://www.amazon.com/Red-Pill-Ideology-Wrapping-Manosphere-ebook/dp/B0B2VC7671
/r/ExRedPill03/06/22 05:23 PM
14

There is an inevitable point in red pilled men's lives where they realize that it wasn't the sex that they wanted--it was emotional validation that so many men tie to sex that they wanted. Lots of sex with lots of women is fun... for a while. But it doesn't fill the actual need. The women who also want casual sex don't want YOU--they want casual sex and you're the vehicle, just like they were the vehicle for you. They're trying to fill their own emotional needs, and no one's needs are truly gett…
/r/ExRedPill03/06/22 04:32 PM
3

It will be officially published June 8th. The paperback is still percolating through the system (this allows advanced reviewers access in order to leave their reviews), but the e-book is live: https://www.amazon.com/Red-Pill-Ideology-Wrapping-Manosphere-ebook/dp/B0B2VC7671
/r/ExRedPill02/06/22 10:17 PM
5

Aww, thank you! I'm so excited you're enjoying it :) I swear, this is just the best community. :)
/r/ExRedPill02/06/22 05:16 PM
1

To be honest, that would still raise a red flag for me. After more than a handful of times, it starts to become a relationship and I'd be worried it wasn't a professional one on his side. I'm not against casual sex, but it is really hard to keep feelings from happening after repeated sexual encounters. The escort has a built-in emotional buffer because she has many clients , and so has an easier time keeping emotional distance. The emotional dynamics of a prostitute/John relationship from the Jo…
/r/ExRedPill02/06/22 04:37 PM
4

I dated a man in a similar situation to yours. He was in his late 20s and a virgin (at first. we ended up in a long-term relationship). He confessed he'd seriously considered hiring an escort just to get rid of his virginity, but for whatever reason decided against it. I think religious women would have an issue with it, and I think most women would have an issue with a man having multiple experiences with escorts, but I wouldn't have thought any less of him for a one-time thing. Men are under a…
/r/ExRedPill02/06/22 03:35 PM
4

I second everything MelodiousTones said. Escorts are literally pros at dealing with emotional issues, and in our culture we wrap a lot of meaning and validation and messy emotions in with sex. Part of this is natural, but I feel like we put too much self-value in it. I've chatted with a few escorts, and they pretty much sum up their jobs with "we get hired for an hour. What do you think we do for the other 45 minutes?" They talk. They cuddle. They listen to his problems and what his day has been…
/r/ExRedPill02/06/22 03:14 PM
11

You've got it :) I wrote a whole book on the things that red pill just doesn't seem to 'get,' and these points were all in there, lol! Good job seeing through the hypocrisy.
/r/ExRedPill02/06/22 12:54 PM
6

Thank you :) And I similarly wish you the best in your journey <3
/r/ExRedPill29/05/22 08:23 PM
13

I do understand, and I'm not minimizing the struggle of breaking out of this mindset. Just the fact that you are here means you are trying, and I commend you for that. I'm sending you a link to my website. I'm in the process of publishing a book refuting red pill, and I have a brief excerpt published there that covers a bit of why alpha-seed beta-need does not make sense from a scientific perspective (my background is in biology). The whole book covers far more, obviously, but that wont be avail…
/r/ExRedPill29/05/22 06:10 PM
41

I'm far, far more concerned with the guy attached to the penis than the penis itself. Are you at risk of dumping your girlfriend if a willing woman with a tighter vagina was available? Or is there something beyond sex keeping you in the relationship? Would you be insulted if your girlfriend was worried about you leaving her for a woman with a tighter vagina? Because that means she thinks you're that shallow?
/r/ExRedPill29/05/22 04:16 PM
1

Well, of course. Unrealistic body standards affect everyone, male and female, in media. We've got some pretty deep-rooted shit that shows up in media. Take a look at any kid's cartoon--the ugly people are the evil ones, and the beautiful people are the good guys. Is that reality? No. But it is who kid's want to aspire to, and so those are the characters kids will like the most, and those are the shows that will sell the best. It's a positive feedback loop: more of the same sorts of shows trains …
/r/ExRedPill28/05/22 11:18 PM
3

Because entertainment isn't intended to be a reflection of reality. Entertainment is intended to sell, and a fantasy fulfilled sells.
/r/ExRedPill26/05/22 10:24 PM
1

PM sent!
/r/ExRedPill25/05/22 01:02 PM
6

That's generally what I hear. The internet red and black pill communities create an echo chamber. Really toxic stuff. Thanks for replying. I've been getting contacted a lot recently from red pill, black pill, and self-identified incels because I'm in the process of publishing a book about red pill, and while some of the men are just using the opportunity to spew more toxicity, many are really struggling and have a lot of pent up frustration. I'm hoping guys like you, with your perspective, can h…
/r/ExRedPill24/05/22 02:27 PM
3

I'm glad you were able to break free of the mindset :) If I may ask, what was it that set you on the journey to getting out?
/r/ExRedPill24/05/22 02:17 PM
1

Excellent article--thank you for sending it to me! Focusing on the extremes of one demographic (in this case, Western culture) and trying to extrapolate those extremes to the rest of the population (humanity) is a very dangerous game and usually does not end well, as this article states. I enjoyed this--thank you :) I've also sent you a Chat request. I'd love to have you on the team :)
/r/ExRedPill19/05/22 12:05 PM
1

Thanks for checking it out. I've found a great deal of projection going on in Red Pill, and I go into it in depth in later chapters. It's been a fascinating rabbit hole.
/r/ExRedPill15/05/22 12:39 PM
1

Sounds perfect. Check your messages--I just need your email and I can put you on the list :) Advanced e-books go out tomorrow.
/r/ExRedPill15/05/22 12:23 PM
1

Excellent! I look forward to hearing from you :)
/r/ExRedPill15/05/22 12:23 PM
1

Well you sound like the perfect candidate, lol! Please message me with your email address and I will add you to the list :) Advanced e-books go out tomorrow.
/r/ExRedPill15/05/22 12:21 PM
1

Hey there, I'd love to have you on the team :) I've certainly experienced what you are talking about, but while this is my first nonfiction it is not my first book. I considered putting it under one of my pen names, but I felt it ultimately wouldn't matter much. Those who will discredit it because I'm a woman will find something to discredit about it just because they don't like it. That is reality when you blasphemies an ideology held as gospel. Ultimately, die-hard Red Pill men themselves are …
/r/ExRedPill15/05/22 01:02 AM
2

I would be thrilled to have you. What I need is reviews when the book is published--good reviews, bad reviews, neutral reviews--it's a numbers thing. A single sentence and a star rating is all I really need. People won't buy a book that doesn't have any reviews, and Amazon's computers won't suggest a book without enough reviews to show reader interest and engagement. If this is a book that interests you, it would be a huge help to have you as an advanced reader :)
/r/ExRedPill27/04/22 12:27 PM
3

Thanks for this :D Being a writer often means telling jokes and then having to wait for a year to see if they were funny, lol! Do you think you'd like to be an Advanced Reader for this?
/r/ExRedPill27/04/22 01:57 AM
2

Thank you :) I'll be your arch pen-pal nemesis, lol! Take care :)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/22 11:53 AM
1

I've not seen it yet, but it looks interesting. Sounds like she really kept an open mind and met a lot of the same sorts of men I did.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/22 11:51 AM
2

Well thank you very much :) Would be interested in your thoughts once you get through it.
/r/ExRedPill26/04/22 11:47 AM
2

Great reply! And yes, these are issues I discuss in later chapters of the book. Competing duel mating strategies are common in many species and is obviously seen in humans. Red Pill (painting in broad strokes here) generally puts forth the idea that betas are regularly cucked due to AF/BB, with women being driven to go out of their way to reproduce with alphas and then go home to the provisioning of a beta. In practice, this would severely punish any beta male who managed to be duped by this. Ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/22 07:26 PM
–

This is an excerpt from the middle of a chapter in order to best show the style and writing of the book. Alpha and Betas are talked about and defined earlier in this chapter. Thanks for looking it over and feel free to pass it on if you think anyone may be interested :) I'm looking for all types of reviews, so long as they're honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/22 05:16 PM
–

That specific 80/20 claim is actually addressed in the sample on my website :)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/22 05:09 PM
–

Red Pill is a philosophy that promises men the secrets of how to avoid being taken advantage of and emotionally hurt by women.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/22 05:07 PM
–

You are very welcome to sign up to read it so you can leave a review :)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/22 04:56 PM
–

You are very welcome to sign up to read it so you can leave a review :)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/22 04:54 PM
–

My references and bibliography for this book is approximately 20 pages long (haven't done the final formatting yet). The vast majority are from peer-reviewed literature and each point made is referenced within the body of the text so readers can verify for themselves. If you click here you can read a sample to get an idea of the style of the book.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/22 04:54 PM
–

I do talk about Black Pill. I see the ideology as more of a spectrum, with Black Pill and and MGTOW on the further extremes of that spectrum.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/22 04:37 PM
–

Through a very convoluted route I stumbled into the rabbit hole of red pill. I have a background in biology and some of the claims didn't quite sit right with me. I started reading to verify RP claims and was able to confirm some while debunking others. Ultimately, I have come to believe that while a lot of the advice Red Pill gives is pretty solid, their underlying foundational understanding of why they give that advice is deeply flawed and is resulting in more harm done to men and women than g…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/22 04:36 PM
–

I have written a book debunking Red Pill and am looking for Advanced Readers. The book is scheduled to be published this summer and Advanced Readers get a free ebook copy of the finished book several weeks prior to publication so they can provide an honest review on game day. Link above goes to my website which includes an excerpt so you can decide if you like my writing style or not, as well as my contact info. All you need is an active Amazon and/or Goodreads account in order to review the boo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/22 03:55 PM
2

I was friends with my hubby for nearly a year before I asked him out. About to celebrate 14 years of marriage with two kids. Here is the difference between a "simp" who is "friendzoned" and a "friend" : Simps are not friends to the women they are friendly with. They are not "friends" with them because they enjoy the woman's company, they are just waiting for a moment of vulnerability where they can make their move. They're lying to the woman about their intentions, lying to themselves about thei…
/r/ExRedPill04/03/22 01:27 PM
7

That's a relationship issue, not a legal one.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/22 06:50 PM
40

There is literally nothing stopping a presumed father from getting a paternity test done on his own children. He is the assumed father--he doesn't need mom's permission to swab the kid's mouth and send the samples off.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/22 04:30 PM
10

I think you missed the joke.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/22 11:04 PM
25

Whoa, whoa, whoa---let's not get ahead of ourselves. We know all women lie in surveys. If anything, this is proof that they do just want to be used as a human fleshlight.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/22 10:04 PM
12

It's a part of it. I'll try and explain better--wanting to be wanted isn't a sexual validation for the way I'm using it. Having friends who want to spend time with you is being wanted, having family that wants you around is being wanted, but I don't see RP men getting this emotional need filled by friends and family. They've linked it specifically to sex and so have tied their entire self-worth to this one measuring stick. Women receive validation from sex, too, but the larger 'wanting to be wan…
/r/ExRedPill12/02/22 03:13 PM
13

Many men link their emotional needs with their sexual needs, and especially when they are young their sexual drives are huge. You're right that it's not about sex most of the time--they just think it is. More than they want sex, men want to be wanted. It's not quite the same as validation, but that's in there too. Unfortunately, this isn't a 'manly' emotional need, so it gets twisted into something else. Then, when they are continually rejected, it's not just a matter of women not wanting to hav…
/r/ExRedPill12/02/22 12:59 PM
5

What you're talking about is called the Preto Principle, where 20% of men report 80% of the sexual pairings. What Red Pill conveniently leaves out is that the Pareto Principle also applies to women: 20% of women also report 80% of the sexual pairings. This does not mean, as Red Pill logic would demand, that 20% of women are having sex with 80% of men. Meanwhile, roughly 80% of men and women report 10 or fewer lifetime sexual partners. What this means is that there is a great deal of sexual pairi…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 05:15 PM
1

I am currently writing a book to debunk all of these. I'd say of this list, #4 (Alpha-seed Beta-need) is my biggest complaint. That and "women can't love you the way you want to be loved" are the two biggest foundational causes of misogyny in the larger Red Pill community. The assumption of #4 leads to the assumption of #1 which leads to the logical conclusion of #3. Red Pill has a habit of cherry-picking good data, misinterpreting it, forming a reasonable hypothesis about that misinterpreted da…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 01:22 PM
3

Awwww!
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 12:47 AM
1

If you want casual hookups, use dating apps. If you want a legitimate relationship, delete all the apps and go out into the world to meet women. Looking for love on apps is like looking for a deep, philosophical conversation on Twitter. The platform simply isn't set up for it.
/r/ExRedPill03/02/22 02:49 PM
1

That is entirely up to you. I wouldn't recommend becoming 'that guy' or you may end up with consequences later in life--eventually men do want to settle down and have a stable family. The women who want and are ready for the same things look at your history just like men look at women's history to predict future behavior. A lot of young men do have luck with the cougars. That's probably what I would do if I were in your shoes. Statistically speaking, those relationships are unlikely to become lo…
/r/ExRedPill02/02/22 01:21 PM
17

Actually, the 80/20 rule is surprisingly accurate--just not in the way Red Pill has interpreted it. They see 20% of the men reporting 80% of the sexual relationships and jump to the conclusion that 20% of men are having sex with 80% of women. That's inaccurate. What Red Pill never mentions is that the 80/20 rule also applies to women: 20% of women are also reporting 80% of the sexual relationships. This does not mean that 20% of women are having sex with 80% of all men, at Red Pill logic would r…
/r/ExRedPill01/02/22 01:45 PM
2

IMHO, I believe women see a lot more ‘context’ than men do and it’s that context that we use primarily to determine attractiveness. The male gaze vs the female gaze. So, the way this would work is that if you give a man a close-up picture of a nice set of breasts, he will rate that ‘body’ reasonably similarly to what he would rate the breasts if he saw them on an actual woman. I don’t believe women operate in the same way in this regard. If women’s ‘equation’ for attractiveness requires more fac…
/r/ExRedPill01/02/22 01:40 PM
2

I hear you. You're 25, I imagine that will change dramatically in another 3-5 years. I got involved with other guys specifically to avoid getting involved with men who I knew I'd want to settle down with eventually. I consciously focused my attention on men I knew had no long-term potential. Red Pill likes to call this alpha-seed beta-need, but I was generally even less attracted to those "alphas" as the "betas". I simply had my own plans for my life and I didn't want to get off track by getting…
/r/ExRedPill31/01/22 02:18 PM
1

You remind me of my hubby, just not as socially awkward :) Hubby used to ask me why I fell for him, and for years the best I could come up with to describe why was that he was "sexually nonthreatening." Much like you, he took it as an insult to his masculinity, but that is not what I was trying to communicate. It took me 15 years to figure out how to put this into words: All my life, from before puberty until long after I married my hubby at age 22, men made it clear that they didn’t want to spe…
/r/ExRedPill31/01/22 01:12 PM
3

Just sending hugs.
/r/ExRedPill30/01/22 08:52 PM
1

I'm writing a book about Red Pill. This is research.
/r/ExRedPill25/01/22 10:36 PM
59

Yeah. Red Pill men don't realize that they are part of the system they are critiquing, and through their actions they are giving themselves a selection bias. Women who want a healthy relationship, refuse to play games, and are looking for something genuine and not transactional, are going to immediately reject these men and not engage with them. The only women who will engage are the women either so needing to love someone that they will put up with anything, do anything for a shred of affection…
/r/ExRedPill25/01/22 06:04 PM
2

Except that understanding the pareto principle in its entirety means understanding that the pareto principle also applies to women. 20% of women have 80% of the sexual partner count. This means there is a great deal of sexual coupling going on amongst the top 20% of sociosexual men and women. This does not mean that 80% of women have a duplicitous sexual treatment of men. https://relationshipsinamerica.com/relationships-and-sex/how-many-people-have-americans-had-sex-with#:\~:text=How%20many%20se…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 11:43 PM
1

Except that understanding the pareto principle in its entirety means understanding that the pareto principle also applies to women. 20% of women have 80% of the sexual partner count. This means there is a great deal of sexual coupling going on amongst the top 20% of sociosexual men and women. This does not mean that 80% of women have a duplicitous sexual treatment of men. https://relationshipsinamerica.com/relationships-and-sex/how-many-people-have-americans-had-sex-with#:\~:text=How%20many%20se…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 11:42 PM
1

Except that understanding the pareto principle in its entirety means understanding that the pareto principle also applies to women. 20% of women have 80% of the sexual partner count. This means there is a great deal of sexual coupling going on amongst the top 20% of sociosexual men and women. This does not mean that 80% of women have a duplicitous sexual treatment of men. https://relationshipsinamerica.com/relationships-and-sex/how-many-people-have-americans-had-sex-with#:\~:text=How%20many%20se…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 11:42 PM
5

Here is how I see it: Toxic masculinity in the Red Pill sense is the idea that men should increase their value in order to have more women be attracted to him and want to be with him. This inevitably leads to the mindset that women, sex, relationships, and ultimately love can be "earned." After all, if you are not getting the kind of women you want, it just means your SMV isn't high enough. Increase your value. I don't have a problem with a lot of the things Red Pill tells men to do, just with t…
/r/ExRedPill24/01/22 11:15 PM
2

Thing is if you continue to feel ashamed of it then you give those that shame you power, you have to just do it. You've pretty much summed up what feminism has been doing for the past several decades :)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 10:50 PM
1

You may be right, and I hope you are. My instincts tell me that those women are probably just comfortable with you if they work with you and don't expect to ever see you again if they aren't working with you. Women talk to other women (peers) all the time and that's never changed. Women get women and understand what they do. It's part of girl code to talk about these things. But do they talk the same way around the other men in the office? Around the higher-ups, even in a more casual location li…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 08:57 PM
-1

That's great--but are you sure about that? I'm not trying to be antagonistic, just asking a legitimate question. I assume you're a man. Social standards do vary, but are you sure the women in your area won't face these kinds of consequences in their work, family, and social lives, even to a lesser extent? Have you asked? It's no secret that men and women are judged differently for having casual sex--is it really so surprising that we'd develop different strategies based on those consequences? I'…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 08:33 PM
1

I was responding to a poster who was politely articulating his understanding of the situation and seemed to genuinely want to understand a woman's viewpoint on this. I was offering my alternative understanding of the situation in an effort to help him see the woman's viewpoint. He didn't see the downside, so I explained the downside from a woman's perspective. Chill.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 08:21 PM
-1

Because women get judged for their sexual behavior? Boss gets wind that we're an actual sexual human being and suddenly it's harassments and lack of respect as far as future promotions/responsibilities/advancements go, even though our sex life has nothing to do with our job performance. Our parents get wind we're an actual sexual human being and it's lectures and shaming every holiday and get-together even though our sex life is none of their business. Guys we thought were our friends either try…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 08:16 PM
4

Wow. The radical concept that a woman's sexuality could be her own rather than something defined by the men she is 'conquered' by.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 06:41 PM
1

... If she's not looking for commitment, then why would she want to shape men into boyfriend material? It's instead in her best interest to filter out boyfriend material. Not only would these guys likely want to stick around and then get hurt by what she's not willing to offer, but they are also likely to bring with them drama and complications that she doesn't want to deal with. It's not a punishment, it's a filtering. I've noticed red pill consistently assumes women are after commitment, despi…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 06:31 PM
-3

It actually has nothing to do with how HE will react or potentially perceive her, and everything to do with the extreme consequences women suffer for their sexual activity compared to men. If she wants to get laid, it's safer to go with someone not in her social circle who won't be likely to call the next day or cause her drama and bring down the slut shaming consequences upon her. A relationship is about sharing your life with someone--and specifically sharing that someone with your life. He's …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 06:14 PM
1

I don't think anyone is born fully developed and complete. I think we all grown and change as we go through life. Some people will be ready one day... when they are ready. Some may never be ready. We're all figuring out this life thing as we go along.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 06:03 PM
12

I was insistent that hubby and I not get our boys circumcised. If my son wants to be circumcised, he has that option when he's old enough to give informed consent. He can't decide to undo it if I make that decision for him. Not my penis, not my place.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 06:00 PM
6

I think the vitriol more stems from a resentment of there potentially being consequences for their actions that they will be held accountable for. "Oh! How inconvenient that I reproduced. Damn women who dared to get pregnant. All her fault! Why should I have to deal with this?"
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 02:50 PM
6

The women don't chose him because they think he's ready for commitment. They chose him because they aren't and he will be the bad guy for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 02:37 PM
8

From our perspective, the asshole is a good bet for casual sex specifically because he has an established record of not sticking around. The asshole won't cause drama and won't bring upon us the slut-shaming consequences that a 'good' man probably will. We don't respect the fuckboy, but just like men, we aren't always ready for commitment when we are young. The good men want to call us the next day. The good men want to stick around. Red Pill thinks this is what all women want--sometimes we just…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 06:32 PM
8

She's not punishing you. It means she really likes you. There is a belief amongst men that “When a woman has casual sex with a man that's proof that she's actually attracted to him.” Not necessarily. You need to understand that women live in a different world than men when it comes to sex, and we have different ways of going about it. Women pay a much, much higher price for their sexual activity--so the men we are 'casual' with need to not be a part of our social circle least we pay that much he…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 05:04 PM
1

Ironically, a man usually not chosen for casual sex can increase his chances of casual sex by following much of Red Pill's advice, which is essentially the same advice that any dating or life coach would give: improve yourself and then put yourself out there, knowing that rejection is part of the deal. Even "expert" PUAs by Red Pill's standards can only expect a 2-4% return on investment. I think a lot of the time, men who have experienced rejection just need to be assured that's it's okay to be…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/22 01:48 PM
1

Just accept that you can fuck guys out of your league and that you settled. I'm trying to explain to you that this isn't how it's seen from the perspective of a woman in a healthy LTR. Would it make you happy if I told you my hubby's nickname is "big ugly"? That he had facial surgery as a child that left him far from symmetrical? I dated men who earned six figures and who would be considered very attractive. They wanted me to fill a pre-formed "girlfriend" mold according to their criteria. They …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 08:16 PM
2

...Did...did you read the article you linked? Because it's saying what I just said. What we prioritize in LTRs is now what we prioritize in casual relationships. ​ However, experimental research, as well as evidence from online dating and speed dating, shows that physical attractiveness is equally important to men and women. Key words here being "online dating and speed dating." What else are they to judge the other on at this initial stage? Things like "reliability" and "honesty" cannot be judg…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 07:52 PM
0

Otherwise, you'd just find a guy with the body type that you prefer and get a relationship with him, right? Imagine a vinn diagram: One circle with the top qualities you look for in a casual lover, and the other with the top qualities you look for in a LTR partner. For women, this may look like 1) safe, attractive, good humor, not going to cause me drama, and 2) Honest, safe, reliable, good humor. You'll notice that not all the qualities on one list are on the other. That's because these are two…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 07:28 PM
1

Because if you are in a relationship with a person, then they can't just be a sex symbol. They can be attractive and sexy and thrilling and fun, but not a sex symbol. If you are dating a sex symbol, then by definition you cannot be dating a real person--you are dating an idealized version of what you imagining that person to be, and they will fall off that pedestal and hurt you on their way down. It's possible to go from 'casual sex symbol' to 'person,' but wow does it take some mental gymnastic…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 06:43 PM
8

When men believe that the only things they have to offer in a relationship are the same things that men have always offered in relationships (security, provisioning), but women no longer value those things as much because they can provide their own security and provisioning, then the amount of the 'currency' men have to pay goes way up. If this currency, which she values less, is all she's getting, then she's going to require a lot of it. Particularly if all she's ever been offered is this thing…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 06:32 PM
1

Same to you, take care <3
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 06:20 PM
2

I can see how that would play out, but I imagine most women genuinely have no idea what they want, beyond what they feel in the moment or knowing it when they see it. Same goes for men. Most young people (and many older ones) think they know what they want or they absorb what they're told they should want and it sounds good enough, but it's not until later that they have some experience both with romance and sex that they are able to introspect and come to some conclusions about what they actual…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 05:57 PM
2

It's a terrible reality we live in our own heads :( Men try and be so stoic and unemotional because society punishes them if they express this level of healthy vulnerability, just like how women get punished for expressing a healthy sexuality. Men have it worse, though, IMHO, because they have so fewer outlets for it. At least modern women can hide behind "ya ya! feminism empowerment though one-night-stands!" occasionally. It's not healthy, but it's an outlet. Where do men get to work out their …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 05:27 PM
3

They probably shouldn't get validation from it. Men will sleep with anything. I'm going to send some of your own words back at you in an attempt to show you how ego-centric you are viewing this situation. By ego-centric, I mean with the view of "you are not a person, you are my mother/girlfriend/roommate" or "your function in my life is XYZ:" "This is pretty much irrelevant as far as the girl is concerned. Even if she understands this logically, she is still going to feel a type of validation wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 05:17 PM
0

I'd use similar logic to talk someone following their irrational feelings about other bad decisions, too. Not feeling they are getting the progress they want with their diet or workout plan, feeling they should drop out of school because what's the point, feeling they should commit suicide. Facing our fears and insecurities with reason and logic and a steady head are how we grow as people. If after that a person legitimately thinks they are not in a relationship that meets the needs they want me…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 04:06 PM
4

If she was really so attracted to him, why wait to have sex? Might as well sleep with him quickly. Worst care scenario, he leaves you and he becomes a good hookup. Unless you're afraid of him losing respect for you, I don't see much of a reason to wait. Even if he does lose respect for you, why would you want to be with a guy who judges you for sleeping with you quickly? Because women incur a much higher cost and are judged much more harshly for our sexual activity then men are. It has nothing t…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 03:49 PM
4

Okay--I think I can see what you are getting at. But if we acknowledge that men and women inherently value different things differently, then wouldn't it be wiser to acknowledge that our partners likely value traits of ours that we don't, and don't value traits that we highly value as much as we do? That for them, it's a different equation and so they are going to come up with a different answer than we would with the same information? I don't disagree with you that either party is free to leave…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 03:35 PM
-3

In Red Pill, there is very often a claim that women confuse the sort of man she can get into bed with the sort of man she can get to commit to her. From this we get "alpha widows", which seems to be what you are struggling with, if I am interpreting you correctly. You believe that because a woman had casual sex with more higher SMV men in the past, those are her internal SMV standards. Anything less is settling. The truth is, men make the exact same mistake in assuming that the sort of women the…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 03:19 PM
8

I'm also have a hard time following your logic. What exactly is being used as evidence to show that she loved this ex more than her current partner? Are these the words coming out of her mouth? Or is the man interpreting unrelated things to feed a narrative that exists solely in his head? Having casual sex with someone 'hotter' than who we have a relationship with doesn't indicate a higher level of desire or love or commitment for the casual sex guy. Hotness and thrill are not love. Just like wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 03:10 PM
0

But is the breakup actually over the "not the best sex you've ever had" issue that isn't the woman's or man's fault, or is the breakup over the manipulative behavior immediately following that conversation where the woman tries to gaslight the man into believing he is insecure? I think there is a real difference here. Breaking up over the first sounds like legit insecurity to me, but breaking up over the second sounds like a very reasonable breakup over some very immature and narcissistic behavi…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/22 04:07 PM
14

Of the two links I randomly clicked on, both listed higher numbers of previous sexual partners as a higher-risk infidelity indicator for women AND men, and only 10% of the population falls into the high category of 20+ partners. What we're probably looking at here isn't a case of "higher bodycount = more likely to cheat" and instead we're looking at "promiscuious people have a more laissez-faire attitude towards sexuality," for both men and women. That's a values issue, not a sexual history issu…
/r/ExRedPill23/12/21 12:50 AM
6

If they met my other requirements (intelligent, curious, respectful, genuine, etc.) then it would probably cause me to be taken aback at first, but I think I'd get over it and be okay with it. Sex workers as a whole tend to not be the types of personalities or lifestyles I get along with, but I have no ethical issue with prostitution or sex work itself. Women become strippers to pay for college degrees, and I've found (some) of them to be perfectly interesting people whose company I enjoyed, so …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/21 03:06 PM
1

It does tell them to fake interest, but within the context of the examples given it could be interpreted differently. I'm not saying that any guy following this advice with this mindset is going to have a healthy relationship anymore than the kid being good for Santa is going to become a philosopher (far from it), but I've led discussions about topics that didn't interest we with men I was interested in who were interested in those topics. Sports, for instance. Is it lying and dishonest for me t…
/r/ExRedPill16/12/21 01:09 PM
8

This is actually pretty funny, IMHO. It reads, to me, like typical "treat women like they're real people... because in many ways they are!" only it's marketed towards immature men who don't get the irony. Taking an interest in her interests, initiating involving conversation, getting to know her and giving small, thoughtful gifts are all good "tricks" in any relationship. This article is literally just trying to teach these tried-and-true "treat women like actual human beings" to a kid who "beha…
/r/ExRedPill15/12/21 02:54 PM
1

I'm not saying they can't settle for something less. I'm saying that in their minds, they'd have to "settle for something less" because their preferences have been artificially modified. This means they'd be less satisfied and less happy with the real-world women that are available to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/21 12:28 PM
3

OMG this is gold
/r/ExRedPill01/12/21 01:44 AM
7

Thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry you've had to go on this journey. I feel like Red Pill preys on the fears and insecurities of men and instead of helping them overcome it, Red Pill just reinforces them over and over again. Can you share this post with your girlfriend? If she's stuck with you for a year, then she must really like you. If you want to keep her, it sounds like it might be time to put all your cards on the table. A very wise man once told me, "when you get old, it's never the time…
/r/ExRedPill26/11/21 01:31 PM
2

That's great! I think this is a perfect example of the Mature Masculine making an influence. Basically the difference between having a grown-up in the room and not having a grown-up in the room. Women have a similar push-back with the Mature Feminine and the man-bashing that often happens.
/r/ExRedPill24/11/21 01:23 PM
1

You've noticed a brother thing? I've noticed the don't-date-an-ex thing, but not the brother thing. What I have noticed with dating brothers is more a feeling of betrayal that they were not informed. To me, at least, Girl Code is prioritizing the communication/information/sharing secrets rather than the actual act of dating the brother. Like I said, I've spent less time on Girl Code than Bro Code.
/r/ExRedPill24/11/21 01:21 PM
-1

Socialism looks excellent on paper, but is universally disastrous in reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/21 08:30 PM
16

I'm 36 and I'd put my overall happiness at 8-9. I have a very good life with a wonderful husband. My teens and early 20s were quite miserable. I haven't put much thought into this, but I honestly think it has more to do with the internet than anything else. I think we gage our happiness based on those around us, so if everyone around us is in a similar socioeconomic situation, then even if we're poor we can still be happy because we see nothing "lacking." Today we are bombarded with stories and …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/21 01:22 PM
2

Pretty much by definition, women with more conservative values are not going to jump into bet with a guy right away. Not without some massive exigent circumstances, anyway. Rule #3 of the Iron Rules of Tomassi (Rollo Tomassi is basically the leader of Red Pill) is that any woman who makes you wait for sex isn't worth it. Thus, it becomes important to quickly filter out any woman who isn't "worth it." Roosh (another leader of Red Pill although he's redacted his earlier teachings now) called it a …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/21 12:57 PM
1

This is why I suggest Gary Wilson's book (who seems to be very sex-positive and not at all anti-porn. It's a book about applicable neurochemistry), because trying to sum up all of this research and connections in a Reddit conversation is impossible. If you read the article I linked, you will also see a correlation between ED and hours of porn watched. Everyone is susceptible to addiction. Some are more susceptible than others, but we are all fully capable of having our natural pleasure responses…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/21 12:53 PM
5

Ding ding ding! We have a winner.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/21 09:58 PM
2

Thank you. I see where you are coming from, and this is similar to responses I have gotten in the past. While you may be accurate in your assessment that individual choices do not change the behavior of the broader community, my question isn't necessarily a pragmatic one, it's a moral one. Communities are like living organisms: feed them and they will grow. Vegetarians believe that current factory farming practices are immoral and will doom the planet, so they choose not to feed the meat industr…
/r/ExRedPill21/11/21 06:41 PM
2

How nice, thanks for the offer :) I am curious about the internal rationalization of Red Pill men who (1) believes that a woman's value and ability to bond with future partners/become a mother and have a good future is affected by her increased n-count, (2) actively pursues commitment-free sex from women, and (3) does not believe he is actively damaging his own community by repeating #2. Obviously it takes two to tango, and I've heard the argument that it's women's job to be the arbiters of sex,…
/r/ExRedPill21/11/21 04:42 PM
5

Yup--but ultimately enforcement is based on respect for the man connected to the women, and not from the realization that the bro shouldn't treat the woman like shit. It comes from the understanding that he shouldn't treat his fellow bros like shit.
/r/ExRedPill21/11/21 01:02 PM
11

I'll try. I've spent less time on Girl Code than Bro Code, and since I've spent so much of my life internalizing it I'll probably need the help of a man looking at it from the outside to go any more deeply than I've been able to do. Bro Code's purpose is to solidify, protect, and grow men's relationships with other men. I was surprised to learn that Bro Code isn't just a mirror image of Girl Code--they use many of the same tools, but serve very different social function. Girl Code's purpose is t…
/r/ExRedPill21/11/21 03:32 AM
–

This is a helpful visualization, thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/21 12:02 AM
43

I think we are pretty far away from that with Red Pill in its current form, but it certainly has the ability to go there and I can see exactly the path it would take. I spent 6 years as a Deputy Sheriff and, unfortunately, spent a couple of those years pseudo-specializing in rapists. Actually I was specializing in pit bull fighters, but there is a bizarre amount of overlap in those two crimes. Anyway--the thing you need to understand about rapists is that only a very small percentage of them thi…
/r/ExRedPill20/11/21 11:56 PM
1

You're half right. Not all of Red Pill is what I would consider toxic and I've praised Red Pill in the past for giving many men the kick in the ass they needed to start taking responsibility for their own health and happiness and destiny, just like I've praised feminism for giving many women the kick in the ass they needed to do the same. Thing is, both ideologies have distinctly toxic attributes and I'm not convinced that either in their current form do more good than harm. Red Pill does teach …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/21 02:21 PM
1

All Women Are Like That
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/21 02:05 PM
–

He spent his whole Saturday driving to the next state over to buy me a goat. Her grandam was a Top Ten in butterfat and her dam was a 3*. And she was already pregnant with a perfect little moonspotted doeling. Best Mother's Day gift ever <3
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/21 12:48 PM
2

...or it would suggest that both men and women depreciate with age. Looking at 3.5 million individuals all participating in a free marketplace, men seem to hit their prime at 25-30 and then go downhill in desirability ever bit as quickly as men do (7th graph in article).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/21 12:26 AM
1

The only stats to answer your question I can offer is that men who are ordered to pay child support typically have 1.73 children they are paying support for, and that roughly 80% of both men and women report fewer than 10 previous sexual partners. It's the top 10-20% of promiscuous men who are having sex with the top 10-20% of promiscuous women. So--people of similar values are hooking up with each other. Which is exactly what you would expect to see in a free sexual marketplace.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/21 11:32 PM
33

When I first met my hubby was in college. He was returning to finish his degree after abandoning it the first time a few years before. He was obese, socially awkward, in debt, and living with his mother. He was also the first man who ever made me feel like he legitimately wanted to spend time with me because he valued me, versus was just willing to spend time with me in hopes he could get into my pants one day. Literally the first man ever who valued my 99% independent of the 1%, rather than con…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/21 11:01 PM
29

The "bad boy" thing is just as common for women as the "hot crazy chick" thing is for men, but you never hear red pill talking about how many men go nutso over legit crazy, unstable women.
/r/ExRedPill19/11/21 10:40 PM
1

True, and valid. Don't know of much art depicting ugly people, though. Particularly naked women art. Particularly when the art takes a lot of effort, time, and talent to make.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/21 08:15 PM
11

Oh, I believe you. Men, particularly red pill men, legit believe this. It baffles me. Then--the best part--these same men spend all their time filtering out women who have more conservative values, but since they never spend any time with these women, they assume they don't exist and then complain that the only women who exist are sluts like them. The mental gymnastics of red pill are... impressive. In a very sad way.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/21 06:45 PM
20

I know a lot of men think that having a high body count will raise their status or something, but I honestly think it only raises their status amongst other men who also believe that. I can't imagine why I would want to have sex with a man who doesn't care about the women he has sex with? Everyone has a past, but what appeal is there in a man who considers sex partners disposable? I don't want to be disposable, and these men have trained themselves to think of women they have sex with as disposa…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/21 06:38 PM
1

Except for the conscious choice part, I agree. It seems attraction cues for men are fluid, not set, and based on a woman's ability to successfully provide for children. Status is going to be the #1 contributor to her having enough resources to give her kids the best chance of survival. In Western societies, very slim women are more likely to be high-status, while in modern hunter-gatherer cultures the highest status women will be overweight. For most of human history, having a few extra pounds w…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/21 03:31 PM
3

Here is a reality though. Red pill and other stuff tries to give you the illusion of control, but the truth is, you can't ever 100% know the future. Life is full of risks. You just have to make good choices and work towards good ends and hope for the best for yourself and the people around you. All the upvotes.
/r/ExRedPill19/11/21 02:57 PM
1

Look, this has been fun, but I'm out at this point. You want to change your own rules (married automatically means beta, unless they're bad at it, then having so little sex appeal that their woman divorces them somehow turns them into a high-sex-appeal alpha even if they choose to remarry--which is a beta move). I've also never offered any race-specific data, that's always been you. The great number of individuals across greater cultural variety means more accuracy as far as trying to deduce wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/21 05:49 PM
1

Ahhh! I see what you are saying. So we need to figure out the actual number of children fathered by alphas vs. fathered by betas, correct? Quick google gives me this info from the Pew Research Center. 46% of children are living with both parents (first marriage). Even when we account for the 4% cuck rate, that gives us roughly 44% beta babies and 56% alpha babies. I'm still not yielding on the 100% divorced beta men retroactively makes their children alpha, but even with that we're seeing a roug…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/21 05:27 PM
1

Still doesn't work--if you're wanting to get any sort of good-faith estimate of how many alphas and betas are making babies, you need to figure out how many of those now-absentee fathers are actually divorced and were betas when they were married and actually produced children. Otherwise, we've already established that the 80/20 rule is invalid since the percentages of women and men making babies are roughly equal. i.e. a small percentage of men are not impregnating a disproportionate amount of …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/21 05:00 PM
1

Lets Assume that Married men don't cheat and lets also assume that getting married means you are Beta. I am trying to show good faith, just getting clarification. You've set the assumption that getting married means a man is a beta. Fine. But half of all marriages end in divorce, so a good number of those absentee fathers are going to be men who produced children in a marriage and are now divorced and now absentee. Does a divorce automatically make a beta an alpha because that's how they find re…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/21 04:43 PM
1

You've used the stat of 2.6 million absentee fathers in your calculations for all fathers, then again in your calculations for alphas. Thus, you're saying all absentee fathers are alphas.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/21 04:19 PM
1

All divorced men are redpill? How interesting. So what happens to the 64% who decide to get married a second time? Do they get re-beta'ed?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/21 04:15 PM
1

Okay, sure. But you're assuming that all absentee fathers are alphas. Half of all marriages end in divorce, and many of these divorces involve children. 9 times out of 10, the mothers get custody, making the father now absantee. Do betas automatically become alphas when they divorce?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/21 04:01 PM
1

Good question! You may find the book "Your Brian on Porn" by Gary Wilson interesting. He goes into the biochemistry of addiction and porn addiction in particular. I'm glad you think the women in the classical paintings are attractive, or at least not unattractive. I think they are, too. They'd all be considered "overweight" by our current medical standards, some are on the thin side of obese. Most of the time, "overweight" does not look like what we think it looks like, as this BMI Project demon…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/21 01:15 PM
1

That's your opinion and you're welcome to it. You're not wrong that most Americans are overweight and being overweight is linked to health issues. But environment does have an effect on what humans find sexually stimulating--unless you think there was some genetic reason why Chinese men got boners over women with mutilated feet for a millennia. While idealizing beautiful, young, naked women is nothing new, the body types idealized have changed wildly over the course of history--check out these c…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/21 01:37 AM
1

For the purposes of this discussion I agree with your determinations of married men being beta (this is incredibly fun, btw.) I also accept your cuck rate. Only 50% of marriages end in divorce, so it's really a 40% chance of the woman initiating divorce. My hubby's a good man so I also accept the assumption that married men are good men in general :) I'm curious why you assume that ALL absentee fathers are Alphas and not Betas? Since half of all marriages end in divorce, and a good number of tho…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/21 11:01 PM
1

I'm glad we can agree that half the men are making babies with half the women. This has legit been an entertaining discussion and I thank you for taking the time. How have you determined that the entirety of absentee fathers are never-married Alphas and not divorced fathers and thus simply dumped Betas?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/21 10:08 PM
1

Fine! That's fine. Doesn't change my calculations at all. I'm using your data that tells me how many fathers are living with their children... and then I'm adding confirmed fathers who are NOT living with their children. Fathers + fathers = men who make babies. If you'd like me to critique you data further... your total population is for all black Americans. Including children and those old enough that their kids are grown adults. Over 20% of the population is children alone, so your ending perc…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/21 08:13 PM
1

I'm using the number of absentee fathers from the US Census. These are men who have literally been ordered to pay child support for children they are not living with. You are only counting fathers who have stuck around. There are over 5 million who haven't. They had sex and have the court order to prove it. The amount of men with kids is what's on A3 PLUS the men who haven't stuck around.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/21 07:53 PM
1

Yes, that's what that means. I took all those numbers and then added the fathers who are NOT living with a child.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/21 07:33 PM
2

They are, believe it or not. It's a numbers game. Roosh called it a fuck funnel. Even the pick up artists understand that it's a tiny minority of women who will be open. Roosh was basically the God of Red Pill pickup game (he's now converted and can't find a wife because he spent his life being a man-whore and now the high-quality women are rejecting him. Read his book "Lady" for an incredible story of irony and self-delusion) and even he's saying that an experienced pick up artist with fantasti…
/r/ExRedPill17/11/21 02:39 PM
2

You are not wrong--you really aren't. I have literally never had a girlfriend understand my attraction to older men. I've never had that comradery. It baffles me that Red Pill men think this is a thing. Since you liked that data, here is some more :) This is a bunch of charts and data and discussion of that data from OKCupid in 2010. 3.5 Million individuals all participating in a free sexual marketplace and it seems men hit their attractiveness prime at.... 25-30. How inconvenient :)
/r/ExRedPill17/11/21 02:27 PM
1

I don't think so either. I'd estimate less than 2% of women are like me and have a definite preference for older men (probably more like 1% or less, TBH) and then no more than another 15% who would consider an older man IF he met all her other requirements (basically women who don't see age as a deal breaker but who are not actively attracted to older men). All in all that's 84+% of women who wouldn't consider a man more than 6 years older than herself. This is roughly the percentages we see in …
/r/ExRedPill17/11/21 02:14 PM
2

I agree that it's a shaming tactic, but also a revenge tactic. They WANT to believe this, so badly, because they need to feel superior to the women who reject them. And while it's true that men of all ages seek women in their early 20s, all the evidence points to the majority of women being most attracted to men within 5-6 years of themselves, younger or older (only exception being those women 18-25 who just want men their age or up to 5-6 years older. Gotta wait for the guys to get out of schoo…
/r/ExRedPill17/11/21 01:51 PM
1

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/21 01:54 AM
11

Red Pill men complaining about turning human people into caricatures without nuance or actual personhood? OMG the irony.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/21 12:23 AM
7

You're right :) I'm of the belief that, as a whole, men provide the overall labor for society, but it's women's role to direct that energy into work that will produce a safe and effective society for raising children. When men are left to their own devices with no women, you get highly regimented and violent societies (think gangs, military). This is valuable energy and serves an important purpose, but it's not that great for furthering the human race.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/21 04:46 PM
1

Men (and women) who do this have no self esteem and are expecting others to provide it for them. It's entitlement. They can't or don't know how to build value in themselves and are trying to get others to give value to them through association.
/r/ExRedPill16/11/21 03:50 PM
1

This right here. Red Pill is a reason-based belief system, not a data-based belief system. It depends entirely on inferences based on cherry-picked antidotes, repeated as indisputable fact ad nauseam. The thing is, repeating a false statement over and over doesn't make it true. Repeating a false statement over and over just makes it believed.
/r/ExRedPill16/11/21 03:43 PM
25

With all the guys I see chasing after legit crazy women, I'm thinking men may be attracted initially to a pretty woman, but they require some sort of challenge to keep them interested enough to stick around. Crazy women are never boring, and humans are a highly intelligent species that hates to be bored. Crazy women give one sort of challenge, intelligent women give another sort of challenge. Also--for a hunter-gatherer woman to be able to keep children fed, safe, and warm, to identify all the g…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/21 01:22 PM
2

Look at the title of the chart. "Table A3. Parents With Coresident Children Under 18, by Living Arrangement, Sex, and Selected Characteristics: 2020" That's data of all parents with co-resident children (living with children) organized by living arrangement (married, step parent, single parent household). "Cohabitating" isn't referring to if they are living with the children--that's coresiding. Cohabitating is when the parent is not married and living with a partner. That's why is broken up into…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/21 11:20 PM
1

Yes, I saw that. A3 lists co-residing parents (parents living with their children) either married to partner, cohabitating with and without a joint biological child, and no partner present. I have taken the number of fathers living with their children (co-residing) and added the number of fathers not living with their children (not co-residing).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/21 11:06 PM
3

I agree. And I'm saying the understanding of those percentages are wrong. RP takes it to mean that 20% of men are having sex with 80% of the women, and as I explained, that's a gross misunderstanding of the data because the same can be said for women. To put it simply, 20% of men and women are bonking like rabbits with each other and the rest of the 80% of men and women are monogamous.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/21 10:46 PM
2

I see your problem. Table A3 is for cohabitating mothers and fathers. In other words, parents physically living with their children. It's not data about all people making babies, it's data about people making babies who have stuck around to raise them. If you scroll down A3 to the second and third tables, it breaks it down by gender. Cohabitating mothers total number = 51,589,000. Cohabitating fathers = 39,503,000. You are also using numbers for black Americans as the number for your total popul…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/21 10:43 PM
3

The more I look at RP, the more projecting I see. Women may be hypergamous because they want to marry up the financial/social ladder, but men also show hypergamy because they want to marry up on the attractiveness/fertility ladder. Both want to match with a more valuable partner, they just value different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/21 07:06 PM
2

Exactly. But that doesn't stop them from spending their time and energy on pursuing you and your peers, does it? So their focus is on younger women, and they are passing up women their own age (at least for a while) so they can pursue younger women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/21 05:36 PM
19

This says that 52% of men have never married, not that they are childless. But let's say they are: 52% single and no children, 33% married, and 10% divorced. And between 40-45% of women are single and childless, while presumably 33% are married to the 33% of married men and roughly 10% will be divorced. https://www.statista.com/statistics/241538/percentage-of-childless-women-in-the-us-by-ethnic-group/ There is no contradiction here. I've included an article talking about the top 5% of promiscuou…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/21 04:41 PM
2

I think it's a fetish like many others. If, say, 0.7% of the population is incarcerated (which is about right in the US and they are mostly men) and 0.12% of women have a hard-core incarceration fetish (which is about the same as those with a hard-core furry fetish), then 1/6 incarcerated men can expect to be pursued by these women--more if the women pursue more than one man at a time. That seems high looking at it from the outside. Breaking down this further, generally what RD is talking about …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/21 04:22 PM
47

This is a common misunderstanding of the 20/80 rule. 20% of the men are not having sex with 80% of the women--20% of the men are having 80% of the reported sexual partners. And actually, the real numbers are more like 10/60. To assume that means that they are having sex with 80% of the women is to assume that 100% of women are having exactly the same amount of sex, which is ridiculous. This rule holds for women, too. The top 10% of promiscuous men are reporting roughly 50% of the total male sexu…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/21 02:36 PM
2

Absolutely. And many attractive 30-year-old women probably has enough options in real life that they don't feel the need to get on dating apps and the like where her age is filtered out by searching men wanting younger. As a whole, women at 30 are less attractive to men because, in large part, most women at 30 are in stable LTRs or have been in LTRs and, unfortunately, statistically speaking when people (men and women) get into LTRs they tend to let themselves go. So, while an attractive 30 year…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/21 02:27 PM
2

Also, in all fairness, there is also the issue of perception bias. All women go through a phase early in life where they are getting attention from men of all ages. Once they are out of this admittedly annoying stage of life, it can feel like their options have disappeared when in reality they're just getting less attention than they used to. Each individual can then feel like 30 year old women hit a wall, but looking at the larger data shows the pattern that happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/21 01:52 PM
2

Just like younger women are not attracted to older men (usually), most 30-year old women are not attracted to men 15-20 years older. It happens, but it's not the norm. The fact that 30 year old women want 30 year old men means nothing if the 30 year old man shuns her in order to pursue significantly younger women, since that's who he is attracted to. Not trying to be difficult, which is why I included the link which has all kinds of charts and discussion on this phenomena. There are lots of 30 y…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/21 01:43 PM
3

Good for you! Kicking any addiction is hard and you are on a great path to genuine improvement.
/r/ExRedPill14/11/21 09:39 PM
0

I bring myself. I bring being a competent and intelligent partner who always has his back and is in his corner. I bring the willingness to sacrifice to help him achieve his goals, to not imagine what I think is best for his life and push him towards it, but to instead trust he is wise enough to imagine his own future and path and desires in life. I bring the challenge of demanding a partner who will sacrifice the same for me instead of demanding his partner fit a pre-determined mold. I bring a s…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/21 08:46 PM
3

Prioritizing fun things instead of paying down debt is very concerning to me. It sounds like you have an agreed upon budget and he is not following it, correct? Is there any reason you can't be in charge of the budget for the next 6 months? Some people, including men, just aren't great at money. He still needs some fun money, but there is no reason he shouldn't be on a fun budget if there is debt that needs to be paid down and financial goals to be met. If there has been no or very little progre…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/21 08:36 PM
1

Lol! Yeah, total typo. Keeping it. :D
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/21 08:35 PM
3

These altered images are in women's magazines. As well as advertisements in men's magazines, commercials, TV shows, movies, billboards, porn of all types, Instagram influencers, pop-up ads, social media feeds, etc. We're not wired to recognize fake, so they all get lumped together, and my theory is it's skewing men's preferences more and more towards unrealistic standards. For a more thorough explanation on the biochemistry of this, I recommend Gary Wilson's book Your Brain on Porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/21 07:48 PM
3

As long as everyone is aware of the others and consenting, then there is no problem. Most causal people are okay with their casual partners having other partners. Not sure that a woman looking for a LTR would be okay with it, but if she is aware that you have other partners and is okay with it, then that's fine. Most women with a low body count looking for an LTR is going to be looking for a man with similar values, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/21 06:16 PM
1

I see where you're coming from. Western vs. hunter gatherer cultures have had different sexual selection pressures since diverging, but what I'm talking about is the common ingrained attraction triggers. I'm saying western men haven't evolved to like slimmer curvier women, they've had their preferences manipulated systematically for the benefit of others. Hunter gatherer men haven't evolved to prefer a set standard of heavier women, their attraction triggers are just getting manipulated differen…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/21 05:53 PM
1

How do you figure? Legit question--we're the same species with the same common evolution, so I'm curious as to your reasoning.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/21 05:32 PM
2

Cute is a fantastic compliment from a woman. "Sexy" = physically attractive, while "cute" = physically attractive + attractive personality. Women put a much higher value on personality than looks.
/r/seduction14/11/21 05:18 PM
2

It's very new from the perspective of evolutionary psychology, though. A handful of generations ain't nothing when talking about how our brains are wired to respond to attraction cues.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/21 04:10 PM
2

Yes, and more experiments like these will need to be done to gather a better picture of what is going on, but I find it very interesting that WHR seems to be an independent attraction marker, and that the attraction markers seem to have a hierarchy and are not "set" evolved standards but instead informed from the average of what men see everyday. I highly suspect that modern men's attraction cues are being rewired for profit, to the detriment of their happiness.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/21 03:52 PM
2

You're right--I was so incredibly happy to reach 30 and not have to dodge men all the time. I'm 36 now and for the first time in my life I feel I can have actual discussions with men and talk about interesting things without it inevitably leading to them hitting on me. Men are interesting and have very different perspectives and they're fun to talk to to get those different perspectives. It's been really nice after 30 and I've learned a lot about the world now that I can get that whole other per…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/21 03:44 PM
2

Women have a harder time after 30 because women's preferences for men stay the same as far as age goes (women want men their age or no more than 5-6 years older or younger), while men want proportionately younger and younger women as they get older. It's a conflict of interest--she is not attracted to men outside of her age range, and he's holding out for women significantly younger than himself. https://medium.com/@okcupid/the-case-for-an-older-woman-99d8cabacdf5
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/21 03:35 PM
6

Found this little gem and found it fascinating. It's been well-known for a while that hunter-gatherer men prefer heavier women, but Western men prefer slimmer women with narrower waist-to-hip ratios (WHR). Previous studies couldn't get hunter-gatherer men to give them consistent feedback on WHR, until this one where they modified the drawings to account for the preference for heavier women. They found that WHR was an independent attraction marker, ranked lower than overall weight to men. Another…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/21 03:24 PM
46

You sound like my hubby when I first met him :) We met in college--he was returning to finish a degree he'd abandoned years earlier. Obese, living with mom, no job. My advice is to focus on you instead of your external indicators. Take steps to get healthier. Read some books that interest you (both fiction and non fiction) to expose yourself to new ideas and keep your mind working. Find a job and get a budget so you are meeting your own needs and paying down debt. Honest to God if you just start…
/r/ExRedPill14/11/21 02:52 PM
10

I think that women do get a lot more attention, but not necessarily good attention. I've linked some graphs below to show what I mean, the second graph in particular. A lot of guys are willing to hook up with anything that's breathing, and those guys spend a lot of time online. So, it seems like she has options, but in reality she's spending a lot of time sorting through the trash. Men don't usually have that extra step to get to women more likely to want an actual date/relationship. I hope this…
/r/ExRedPill14/11/21 01:30 PM
3

I see this so much. A very fascinating read and one I’d like to recommend to men as well as women is "Lady" by Roosh. For background Roosh, was one of the top leaders of the Red Pill and manosphere communities and one of the leading Pick Up Artists (PUAs) in the world. He spent the better part of 15 years perfecting his approach to female psychology so that he could profit from their promiscuity while demonizing them for being promiscuous. In 2019 Roosh stopped defending the actions of PUAs and,…
/r/ExRedPill25/10/21 08:02 PM
3

“When a woman has casual sex with a man that's proof that she's actually attracted to him.” Not necessarily. Women have sex for all kinds of reasons. A lot of women play the hookup game in the same way as men—if they hook up quickly, it’s because they’ve already decided the guy isn’t “long-term material,” so why invest extra time? Meaningless hookups are pleasurable and stress relievers and provide validation for women as well as men. The thing you have to remember about us women and sex—we get …
/r/ExRedPill25/10/21 07:26 PM
1

I'm in the deep south and most people around here define "being single" as "Not engaged or married." This makes for all sorts of fun when a local answers the question with "yeah" and their non-legal partner who wasn't raised here gets all huffy.
/r/MGTOW208/07/19 04:43 PM
1

"I really like my life and think it's awesome, so it's hard to find people that I want to spend that kind of time with. I guess I'm just picky, but that's okay. I'd rather focus on the life I love and enjoy it than spend time with someone I'd enjoy less."
/r/MGTOW204/07/19 10:05 PM
1

I forget where it was, but I remember reading something about an organization trying to improve the infant mortality rate of a third world country. I really wish I could remember but it was some fairly secluded place. Really bad situation, the place didn't even have clean water and the rate of child death was insane. They may have been recently displaced refugees. Anyway, of course they first offered contraceptives but that didn't lower the birth rate. The women didn't use them or didn't use the…
/r/MGTOW204/07/19 09:18 PM
1

Very true.
/r/MGTOW217/06/19 12:54 PM
1

It kinda seems like she's been pretty up front with you. You had a professional relationship (she was an escort, you were a customer) for a period of time, then her circumstances and life goals changed and she was upfront with you what she was looking for (more stability, an emotional relationship, eventual marriage) and at that point you decided to start deceiving her to get what you wanted (free sex) with no intention of taking her seriously. You don't say when you told her that you were not i…
/r/MGTOW217/06/19 12:42 PM
1

I think maybe most of what people hear about MGTOW are just the ones that yell the loudest and post the most, not necessarily the best representative of what the MGTOW community looks like or is growing into. For me, the "typical" MGTOW, when making their points do make a certain sort of sense, but then they step a few paces closer to crazy than I'm comfortable with. However, having said that, I don't see the problem with looking out for your own best interests when it comes to your relationship…
/r/MGTOW216/06/19 10:14 PM
1

I've seen marriages like that, and have a few in my family. It's very sad and I can certainly understand being reluctant to enter into one. It speaks highly of your parent's character that you can look back now as an adult and realize that they sacrificed their own potential happiness in order to offer you and your sister stability and a traditional upbringing. They did what they thought was right, but I don't think anyone could blame you for being reluctant to follow in their steps.
/r/MGTOW216/06/19 09:39 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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