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Nick_Sparks Archive

View 5 posts and 63 comments by Nick_Sparks on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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32

Spot on, and echoing momass' point about not worrying about being superman, don't wait until you feel like you've read enough books and are "ready" to start taking these actions in your life. Just do them now. If this is truly rock bottom, you don't have any time left to procrastinate.
/r/seduction02/03/21 11:09 PM
1

Thanks for taking the time to ask!
/r/seduction10/02/18 05:08 AM
1

Next one is 1st weekend of April, but no lie that's probably going to fill up in the next week (2 spots left). After that, please ask again here in a couple weeks or so. http://www.sparksofattraction.com/livetraining/
/r/seduction10/02/18 04:15 AM
1

The most fun city in America: Austin, TX.
/r/seduction10/02/18 04:08 AM
1

This is an amA! The cost for the program is currently $2500 with discounts available. That covers the pre-program exercises we begin immediately, (my goal is to get you on a "hot streak" before the program to maximize our chances of making it permanent) the life-changing weekend, and the guarantee that you'll never have to worry about this again for the rest of your life. Thanks for asking!
/r/seduction10/02/18 03:47 AM
1

I commented on this on one of my youtube videos, but it's really difficult to fake a genuine interaction. I'm not a good enough actor and I'll always look relatively awkward when I try -- even though they're helpful they're not the best representation of a real connection. I have been doing more of these video q&a's on FB with my friend Kelly. We have good offscreen chemistry and although we're a little new at doing them together, I'm sure that chemistry will show more as we get more comfortable…
/r/seduction10/02/18 12:29 AM
2

Sounds like you need some meditation (or more of it) asap. Practice getting out of your head by yourself before you do it with people. Either sitting down with feet flat on the floor, or laying on your back -- whatever's more comfortable for you. Start with 10 minutes (set a timer), every morning when you wake up and at night before you go to bed (that's twice a day). When that gets easier bump it to 15 minutes, then 20. Now practice. Put all of your attention on the feelings in your body. Embra…
/r/seduction10/02/18 12:01 AM
1

I could be wrong, but this sounds like a case of getting in your head and cutting yourself off from your sexual feelings in certain situations. It comes down to what you focus on in those situations. Are you focused on the things about the person in front of you that you find beautiful, that create stronger feelings inside of you? Are you allowing yourself to check out the way that her dress hugs the curves of her body that drive you the most crazy? Or, are you getting caught up in your head thi…
/r/seduction09/02/18 07:31 PM
1

You're very welcome, thanks for posting! And I never, ever consider any of the questions you're asking. I mean, when it's on, it's on and none of that stuff matters. If I'm out with a woman and we're making out, pulling our bodies closer together, hands needing to be held back from places they shouldn't go in public... in those situations someone just says, "your place or mine?", or "my place?". At that point it doesn't matter if the 'setup of my place' consists of my grandmother's couch... if w…
/r/seduction08/02/18 05:23 PM
1

It's like asking, "what are some of the best ways to handle hunger?" -- you eat. Human beings go crazy without intimacy, both platonic and sexual. As a social species, our brains require social cohesion to function properly -- if everyone tells us we're unattractive and they don't like us we'll receive a burst of some not so pleasant chemicals that will attempt to help us correct that situation -- often leading to some less than attractive (but still very normal human) behavior. It's not surpris…
/r/seduction08/02/18 01:32 PM
1

It could either be you not opening up and being intimate enough on dates, but if I had to guess it would be the being comfortable expressing your sexuality part. I hope the advice above helps!
/r/seduction08/02/18 01:06 PM
1

I swear in my formatting those are numbered correctly
/r/seduction08/02/18 01:01 PM
1

Great question, and I mean this in the nicest way possible: it stinks of desperation. If you had multiple options of women to go on dates with you wouldn't care about a woman who may like you, but clearly isn't in a space to like you enough to want to continue seeing you right now. You'd brush it off and find someone else you really like spending time with. Maybe you're coming on too strong too fast, or maybe she's just looking for something casual right now -- or maybe her ex came back into her…
/r/seduction02/02/18 11:34 PM
1

That's fairly common. How much would you say you're bringing your genuinely self to these interactions vs trying to put on a face that you feel people will like best?
/r/seduction02/02/18 10:38 PM
1

I just gave a long response to u/Champyboy1 on this very question that I'll refer you to. If you're looking for something beyond that please ask!
/r/seduction02/02/18 09:05 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/seduction02/02/18 09:01 PM
1

Now that's a good question, and my pleasure. Look for people's beauty first. As I mentioned in another response here, every time you encounter another human being you're communicating and reinforcing a specific habit. We all have a default communication when we look at someone else. Many times the first time we look at someone else we do so with judgement and or insecurity: "she's ok", "am I in her league?". Instead, we have the option to choose to look for what's most beautiful in another perso…
/r/seduction02/02/18 09:00 PM
1

You're welcome! And helps me get through what? The first pro tip I'd give is to start with a clear, specific definition of what you want.
/r/seduction02/02/18 03:24 PM
1

What I mean by is that sometimes in our lives we get hit by a surplus of emotion. Sometimes when that happens people freak out -- they close up, start talking too much, or act as a poor representation of themselves in some other way. Becoming aware of when your emotions are in surplus, embracing those feelings and learning how to process them positively, sharing those feelings constructively/attractively with others -- or taking time to yourself to calm down -- this is all a lifelong learning pr…
/r/seduction01/02/18 09:59 PM
1

The AMA brought my 2009 website down. My tech person just got it back. Not just you.
/r/seduction01/02/18 08:20 PM
1

Great question. Building value in a woman's eyes, anyone else's eyes, or your own eyes are all the same. Human beings need the same things to feel fulfilled and confident in their abilities to provide that kind of life for themselves and others. What are these things? Physical health, proactively using your gifts to make a positive impact on the world, building intimate relationships with other people, learning to embrace your emotions -- including sexual emotions. Which one of these areas is we…
/r/seduction01/02/18 08:01 PM
1

Sounds like she didn't feel that much sexual chemistry. I'd move on and either find someone you have more chemistry with, or learn to project your sexuality more confidently.
/r/seduction01/02/18 07:55 PM
4

Easy one: don't have an agenda. You can tell when someone is trying to get something from you and it always makes everyone feel uncomfortable -- unless they're both trying to get something from each other. Instead, simply try to enjoy another person's company for the sake of that company without wanting anything else (this is a surefire path to misery). When you share yourself with others warmly, without agenda, 95% of people are going to feel comfortable around you.
/r/seduction31/01/18 10:19 PM
2

my nick: 5/7 nick And probably -- most likely if I ever visit a friend in Dallas (although why they wouldn't just come to Austin is beyond me.)
/r/seduction31/01/18 05:11 PM
3

If you're more introverted, they can be an easy way to gain a social circle quickly -- plus a lot of professional fraternities are great places to make connections or learn more about a career you're curious about. Be careful though, it's easy to use one as a crutch to not develop yourself more socially. If you move to a new city without most of that circle, friends start having families, life, whatever -- you'll have to learn to branch out and meet new people on your own anyway. The benefit of …
/r/seduction31/01/18 04:58 PM
2

Thank you! Hearing about the positive impact my work has made never gets old.
/r/seduction31/01/18 12:28 PM
2

I AMA Dating & Relationship Coach. Take something that you're passionate about, do it to the best of your abilities for over a decade, and you can most likely make a living off of that thing as well.
/r/seduction31/01/18 12:26 PM
4

Text her! Continue the conversation, flirt, setup a date. A phone number is just a way for two people who are enjoying each other's company to keep enjoying it if one of them has to leave at the moment. If you're struggling at all to setup a date on ~90% of the numbers you get, either you're acting like someone different, you're not asking her out on a date, or (and most likely) you didn't have THAT great of a connection and she was just giving you her number to be nice. No amount of "text game"…
/r/seduction31/01/18 12:46 AM
3

Most likely a talk I give on sexuality that's exclusive to Christian's program. And I don't even have that video to share.
/r/seduction31/01/18 12:42 AM
2

I'd say it's a more specific version of, "A true lover of people never misrepresents", or "A true lover of himself never misrepresents." Love for women is an extension of love for self and human beings in general. Misrepresentation of oneself divides/hides that self from others. It's the contradiction/denial of love for oneself and by extension others. A true lover of himself, humanity, and by extension, women -- by definition -- never misrepresents. Just my guess
/r/seduction30/01/18 11:02 PM
4

We're all more wise in our own ways. And not knowing what she wants in this situation sounds like a nice way of saying she's not that into you because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. It probably means that there are some parts of her that would really love to be with you for some of the wonderful things you offer... but she can't talk her way into attraction. Imagine a really awesome woman who you really care about who you're attracted to on some level... but you just don't want to be he…
/r/seduction30/01/18 10:22 PM
3

I'd love to! Same answer as all of these, if I've got enough guys to fill a workshop I'm there.
/r/seduction30/01/18 10:17 PM
1

If I've got enough guys lined up for a workshop I'm there.
/r/seduction30/01/18 10:16 PM
4

Share stuff you're embarrassed by with others. Closest friends first, a therapist if you don't have that readily available. Keep doing it with more and more people. You'll naturally stop trying to put up a wall with people and just start being yourself more.
/r/seduction30/01/18 09:47 PM
5

The reason I became a dating coach was because of my own huge insecurities. If you asked me a decade ago though, I didn't have the awareness to know that yet. I just thought it was awesome and there's nothing else I'd rather do. Point is, you don't need to understand your motivations. You just need something your passionate about for some reason or another. Follow that, and all the answers you're looking for will be provided.
/r/seduction30/01/18 09:44 PM
5

Lol. Depends on whether or not the mini-Christians have time to develop a product on overcoming a larger opponent.
/r/seduction30/01/18 09:41 PM
3

Next men's workshop is in April -- 3 spots left! http://www.sparksofattraction.com/livetraining/
/r/seduction30/01/18 09:37 PM
3

I love books on coaching. "Bo's Lasting Lessons" is a favorite. Otherwise, Multi orgasmic man. Pronoia. Pia Mellody. Dragonlance: Chronicles. Kant. To name a few. More importantly, what calls most to you? Everyone is looking for different answers at different times.
/r/seduction30/01/18 09:36 PM
8

I couldn't be happier to hear about your dating success and continued dedication to the success of your relationship. She's lucky to have you. And I've found the two biggest contributors to performance issues in a relationship involve lack of intimacy and a lack of dedication to looking for a person's beauty first. On the intimacy side.. are there things on your mind that you aren't sharing with her for whatever lame reason you have, or vice-versa? This always creates distance in a relationship,…
/r/seduction30/01/18 09:05 PM
18

Stop getting rejected so much. When you attempt to genuinely connect and express yourself honestly you get a lot more positive responses from people than negative ones. The few negatives you get are a lot easier to not take personally when everyone else loves you. All I do for my clients is show them how easy it is to have positive interactions with people when they're not being weird.
/r/seduction30/01/18 08:54 PM
4

Have always been tall for my age, but most definitely not handsome. I couldn't have been more lanky/awkward for my height. People laughed at me when I tried out for the football team. My coach said I couldn't walk and chew gum at the same time. Before braces my teeth were terrible, acne, and a tendency to try to style my hair like 90's Eminem minus the bleach. Oh, big glasses before they were cool. I've definitely gotten better looking with age, but as always my confidence took a lot longer to c…
/r/seduction30/01/18 08:47 PM
20

As I always say, a conversation begins as soon as two human beings become aware of each other. Every time you encounter another human being, you're reinforcing a particular way of communicating with them. A lot of people unconsciously communicate, "I'm anxious", "leave me alone", "you frighten me" -- or something of the sort in public, especially in social situations that intimidate them. Now, if you met someone and the first thing they said to you was, "Leave me alone, you frighten me" -- then …
/r/seduction30/01/18 08:44 PM
5

You're comparing apples to oranges. There's the fun rush of someone new... and a lack of intimacy that makes you feel fearless -- VS building the deepest intimacy possible with another human being. If you compare the former with most relationships you see, it's a pretty easy choice... fun sex all day. However, comparing the surface-level rush to having a true partner that knows and accepts you inside and out -- to enjoy the highs with you and stand beside you in the lows -- to share a sexual rel…
/r/seduction30/01/18 08:35 PM
7

Christian is an old friend, and there's a very good chance you would never have heard of Nick Sparks if it wasn't for him. Every guy relates to a different message, and ours have always worked well together. Space in an interaction is exactly what it sounds like.. it's nothing. No thoughts, no motivations, no pressure, no trying... when you clear your mind and simply notice your feelings, the other person, and the connection between the two of you. Because most of our natural inclination is to r…
/r/seduction30/01/18 08:23 PM
6

Carlos! I still haven't dropped the idea of translating the book into Spanish, btw. Thanks for the question! Quick review for folks who haven't read my book: I mention that aside from social/sexual health, it's vital to balance it with physical health, emotional/spiritual health, and developing your purpose. As far as where to start, everyone is different. This isn't a journey of me telling you where to go, it's a journey of listening to yourself and following through on what you really want. Ph…
/r/seduction30/01/18 08:11 PM
3

Anthony's living his truth as honestly as he can and reflecting that in his work. I have to respect a man for that, even if I disagree with his truth. Edit. I will say one thing about this that's not completely boring: I do miss the old convention.
/r/seduction30/01/18 07:46 PM
14

Guys need to stop looking at a number as a prize. All a number is for is when you're really enjoying someone's company and for some reason, you have to stop enjoying it at that moment. If you're not already sharing a connection with someone and you go for the number it's never going anywhere, no matter how good your "text game" is. From here perspective, if you really wanted to spend more time with her, why didn't you just take advantage of the fact that she's there with you right now instead of…
/r/seduction26/01/18 04:15 PM
6

If you spent 50 approaches trying to get a number, you just practiced the wrong thing 50 times and got worse. Women can always tell if you have an agenda -- trying to simply get something from them -- and it's never attractive. If your experiment was to see how many awesome connections you could find, or see how many times you had a flirtatious interaction for the sake of that -- then you would have gotten a lot more numbers. Instead, you just practiced how to weird a girl out 50 times by lookin…
/r/seduction26/01/18 03:43 PM
8

Easy, just be a man. You'll stick out like a sore thumb.
/r/seduction23/01/18 03:47 AM
2

Please allow me to clear up the ambiguity! Conversations start the second that two people become aware of each other's presence. Often, when we "start a conversation" with someone simply with eye contact, we communicate anxiety and shame. I advocate starting all conversations, whether they lead to a verbal exchange or not, in the same manner as people do it in small towns: with a smile and genuine good vibes exchanged (sometimes a verbal "hi" or "morning" is involved, sometimes not). I advocate …
/r/seduction27/11/17 10:28 PM
2

Guy's a douche. Seriously though, to answer your question about being torn... It's both. Another person's response ALWAYS has more to do with them than you. For a woman to give a positive response she has to be in a relatively good mood at minimum, and if she's going to flirt with you a lot more has to happen (she's single, she's biologically wired to have chemistry with you, she's comfortable with her sexuality, etc). So of all the women you could possible talk to, only a fraction of them even …
/r/seduction05/03/17 01:43 PM
1

This is the first new article I've written in over 3 years. I hope you enjoy it and would love your feedback!
/r/seduction11/07/16 03:28 PM
1

You're a human being. When your friend, or anyone who you're comfortable with, is talking about something you usually have a thought about it that naturally pops up. Maybe it's a past experience that relates to what they said, maybe it's a natural curiosity about what they said, maybe it's something you found funny about what they said. With people you're comfortable with you're not trying to make the conversation happen and the conversation naturally flows... and that's the major difference. Wh…
/r/seduction16/12/15 03:22 PM
2

Short answer: get out of your head, and go with your first gut response (as long as you're not in a bad mood). Stop worrying about having something great to say and just enjoy the interaction and say whatever thoughts pop up confidently. Longer answer: http://www.sparksofattraction.com/book-excerpt-awkward-silence/
/r/seduction16/12/15 12:23 AM
2

Since you don't provide many details it's hard to know for sure, but it sounds like you could be keeping the connections you're having very "surface level". You say that your "flirting and chatting" is excellent, so I'm not going to question your ability to express your sexual feelings or have great 5-10 minute conversations with people, however if all you're having is great 5-10 minute conversations that don't go anywhere then you're probably not "really" connecting with people. After the initi…
/r/seduction16/12/15 12:12 AM
1

Awesome job overcoming your fears in the moment and taking action! Lucky girl.
/r/seduction29/11/15 10:25 PM
2

The key to not staring in a weird/creepy way is her response. There's nothing wrong with making eye contact and giving a friendly smile, this is standard in small towns and generally seen as a warm, confident gesture. Now, if she looks away as if to say, "I don't want to connect for whatever reason" (usually having nothing to do with you) then it's important to read the cues and use social intelligence... if you ignore the signals she's giving and keep looking then it's staring/weird/creepy. How…
/r/seduction29/11/15 10:24 PM
1

Thanks! Title is, As You Are. And it's currently out on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01680KDA2
/r/seduction20/10/15 12:10 AM
15

I haven't posted any new articles in awhile, this is actually an excerpt from my book. Anyone who's watched my 21 Convention speech will be familiar with a lot of what I'm saying here, this just goes into a bit more detail. Hope you enjoy!
/r/seduction10/10/15 04:28 PM
3

You're definitely doing it right. This is all about developing basic social skills, practicing as much as you can, and realizing that some people are in the mood to socialize, some aren't - 60/40 and all. The more you practice, and the more you build your confidence through connecting with and having great times with people you enjoy hanging out with the more you'll be able to execute with women who intimidate you more. Then it simply becomes a matter of treating them the same as everyone else. …
/r/seduction26/04/14 03:28 PM
2

Couldn't have written those bullet points better myself. I hope you're teaching it to your friends, best way to solidify it more for yourself. Great work.
/r/seduction26/04/14 03:20 PM
2

This, basically. I usually just smile a little and go with "hi". Your eye contact already made the introduction for you. These are the "low hanging fruit". If you know what to look for you'll be amazed at how many easy opportunities there are. And this is why it's good to practice with everyone. Drop a comment to the old lady at the bus stop; to the mom at the grocery store; the guy at the drugstore. Make it a habit to be a social person so that it would be weird for you not to say something whe…
/r/seduction23/03/14 08:07 PM
4

It's much more likely that she's socially awkward than trying to play any games. I'll do one of tho things here: Just say/do outlandish/crazy shit for my own self amusement, figuring this already is't going anywhere... if I can't dislodge the boulder of social retardation with a push, maybe some dynamite will work. What I call the "warm goodbye": I simply say, "I have to get to so and so, but it was wonderful talking with you", or something along those lines. The colder she is, the more patroniz…
/r/seduction15/05/12 10:47 PM
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