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Nicnasmith Archive

View 2 posts and 38 comments by Nicnasmith on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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14

Routine has been critical for my well-being. It directs my day and starts me off with a sense of purpose. Here's the routine that I follow every morning since my divorce: Jump right out of bed first thing in the morning and drink a lot of water. Low intensity exercise Make my bed Take a hot shower and end it with 30 seconds of ice cold shower. Get dressed and groom myself Write in my journal. Right one thing I'll let go of, one thing I'm grateful for, and one thing I'm committed to creating that…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/19 12:00 PM
1

I agree. Don't do it alone! It is a dark place to be and I'm sorry you are in this situation, but you CAN handle it. Don't give in, brother!
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/19 01:43 PM
1

I was in the same boat. I moved out a few months ago. Living in my brother's basement. It's been better. We're not getting back together, so it's helping me move on. We HAVE to move on when it's over. It's hard to do that when you're constantly triggered.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/19 05:27 PM
2

This is a great response. I believe amicable is possible as well. All it is for me is keeping anger in check while you work through the difficult emotions. But, my ex-wife is doing the same. Not every woman does that. I went on a date yesterday and cried after because I was so emotionally wrecked. I felt guilty and sad and really not fully ready to dive in to dating although it feels good to have so many hot women interested in me. I think it's harder when the divorce wasn't your desire in the f…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/19 07:44 PM
1

You're awesome! I'll take it easy
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/19 04:10 PM
1

Have read Brene too. Thanks for the advice!
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/19 05:02 AM
1

Wow. Thank you for your vulnerability. This is super helpful to me. I may read through this again. Moving on is hard, but I can do it. Have you read the book Models? It will give you some valuable dating tools. I hope you find someone you really connect with. For now, I am dating without any desire to build a long-term relationship. I wish you the best.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/19 04:33 AM
2

Thanks. I'm on it! I'll start exercising again 👊
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/19 11:32 PM
1

Yeah, sorry man. That really sucks. You hang in there too.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/19 09:58 PM
1

Very nice. Thank you! I have been working on being ind, but haven't been so kind to myself. That should be a priority too. I do need to remember to slow down with all of this and figure myself out.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/19 07:59 PM
2

That is profound and awesome! Thank you! Maybe if we had done this all along none of this would have occurred because we may or may not have been with the person we were with because they may or may not have liked our assertiveness. I am looking forward to saying no to the things I don't want and yes to the things I do.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/19 06:27 PM
3

Thank you! Pablo Picasso said the meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away. I find meaning and purpose in helping others, so I started writing and blogging again.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/19 05:59 PM
2

Oh, man. I feel this! I can understand this. It's like running a marathon through a tar field. I started dating even though there's mixed views on this. I'm at a cross-roads like you. I have to decide what I want moving forward. I used to live for everyone else. My life was whatever they ad going. Not any more. Now I really have to look at what I want. Granted, the kids are a factor, so that will play a role, but my ex doesn't get a say anymore. Thank you for sharing this.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/19 05:57 PM
2

Actually, I love the candor. I actually microdose shrooms to help with the depression because of the research around psilocybin and depression and anxiety. I can't drink too much or I get more depressed. I am going to pick up exercise again. I was in great shape. I can get it back. Thanks for sharing this. I'm sorry you went through that, but it sounds like you've found something to hold onto.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/19 05:53 PM
2

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/19 05:33 PM
3

Thank you! My relationship is ending and this is timely. I'm scared to death and excited at the same time. Life is going to move with or without me, so it's up to me to choose how I want to proceed. Good luck with your journey!!
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/19 05:10 PM
3

I feel you brother. I'm in the same boat. Sorry you are experiencing this.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/19 12:22 AM
3

Thank you for sharing this. I've been feeling this in my current situation. my wife has been hanging out with a divorced friend for the past 3 years and I've wondered if that has been influential on our separation. I keep having the impression that my wife could be a lesbian, or at least bisexual though I have no evidence of that outside of one experience I personally witnessed involving my wife and her ex best friend (a woman). I often wonder how much this current friendship is influencing my w…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/19 12:51 PM
5

I don't know if there is a way to ever stop thinking about it. It seems people still talk about their divorces 20 years after they occur. To stop the thinking is hard. To do emotional aikido may be a better way to go. Accept that it is the new normal and find something to engage in. Join a men's group! Reconnect with family! Do something for you! I had to give up hope that my relationship would heal. I have to trust it will work out even though there is a huge financial and emotional cost. When …
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/19 09:00 PM
4

Hey, man. I hear your intensity in your depression. It sounds really challenging, but you can handle it. You will need help though. Please get professional help. The loss of your life has a huge impact even if you can't see that some days. Call the suicide hotline, join a free men's group if you can't afford therapy. There are some free resources if money is tight. I'm sorry you're going through this. Being sad is a normal response. Being sad is grieving the loss and it will pass with time. Bein…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/19 01:13 PM
2

My ex is doing the same thing. 17 years and she's moving on like it's no big deal. It is a big deal. You have to let go of hope for that relationship and move on. It's a dead relationship and you can't do anything to change her views. My ex will be getting a lot of money too. Doesn't seem fair, but doesn't change the situation. Sorry you're going through this. Start working on yourself and what you need.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/19 01:02 PM
1

Thanks. I may do that. I would prefer to clear out as much debt as possible
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/19 12:47 AM
1

Thanks for this. That's how support is calculated here. By number of overnights. I am with my kids as much as possible. Trying to slow down and be strategic about the whole thing. It seems that no two divorces are the same.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/19 04:23 PM
1

Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/19 02:07 AM
1

Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/19 01:14 AM
2

Okay. I will keep that in the forefront. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/19 12:42 AM
2

Okay. Good to know. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/19 12:40 AM
2

I like that! There are so many ways to go about this. Thank you for sharing this with me.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/19 12:04 AM
2

Wow! Holy shit, dude. They're just things, right?! That's inspiring, actually.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/19 12:01 AM
1

Okay. That gives me a ballpark of where those items could be plus debt on top of that. Thanks for sharing this with me.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/19 11:30 PM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/19 11:15 PM
1

That's great advice. I did ask, but haven't received a response yet. I need to just give her space. I'm in no rush to worsen my situation.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/19 10:53 PM
1

Okay. I tried the 50/50 thing and that was shot down super fast with a threat that she would get a lawyer and I could live off 10% of my income. Not a very friendly response, but I'm guessing she took my offer as an attack.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/19 10:45 PM
1

Thanks. That's super helpful. Is alimony paid from your net income or is it calculated by gross and reduced by the amount of taxes? Are you saying I'll have to pay alimony, child support, and any debt that is solely in my name? I'm grateful you are speaking from a similar experience. Thank you. I know this is challenging. I wish you the best.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/19 10:43 PM
1

What about alimony and child support?
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/19 10:20 PM
1

Wow! That was really helpful. What if we don't sell the house. I'm on title and am willing to split the equity or have her cash me out when she gets established. Do you feel like that is a possibility? Understanding that none of this is seen as legal advice from you or anyone else in this forum.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/19 10:19 PM
1

Thanks. What was the end result with the trust?
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/19 10:13 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/19 10:10 PM
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