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NilEntity Archive

View 0 posts and 128 comments by NilEntity on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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12

Hot yoga is great, hot pilates as well, but I don't go there (or did, fell off recently) to meet women. Attempting to hook up in yoga studios is notoriously frowned upon, don't wanna get labelled the local yoga creep.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 04:15 AM
5

Yeah, but be open to something, well, maybe but good, but neutral. I wouldn't be opposed to doing a post-mortem with my ex-wife, just with distance and time reflect together on what happened, what went wrong etc. but no way my ex would be up for that, that would involve her also annoying some fault of her own. Who knows, maybe OP's ex is better in that regard? Here's to hoping.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 06:30 PM
2

I get it, we even do daily changes, Monday, Wednesday my daughter's with me, Tuesday, Thursday with her mom, we alternate weekends as well, Friday she's also with my mum, that started during the marriage - it was our "date evening" then - and fortunately my ex agreed to keep it. Honestly, I think she enjoys the free evening. We also almost never do direct hand-overs, it's always "I bring her to school, her mom picks her up, and vice versa", helps to reduce the time I have to interact with my ex …
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 01:31 PM
3

Imho you have to have something to live for. And also consider how it'd affect people that love you, acknowledge that there are still people who care about you, at least I assume. For my, that's my daughter, she's why I never seriously considered suicide. My father killed himself when I was 16, I'd never do that do her. I'm beyond anger etc. at him now, it's just disappointment, that he cut off future possibilities. There's so many things that could have happened that just didn't because he deci…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 01:22 PM
6

You have to do what feels right for you. I only took it off when we left the city house after the divorce was finalized and completely done. She took hers off months earlier, probably didn't like a reminder while she was with her new guy ... Taking it off any earlier would have felt ... Wrong
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 03:34 PM
1

I wouldn't completely agree on the first part. I was definitely not 100% before, when younger I never wanted children, but over time the idea grew more appealing. But I'm 100% now, the birth, the first time I saw my daughter was a truly earth-shattering moment for me. It's just something you cannot describe, something you can only experience yourself. Having a child, the stress, may have been a contributing factor to the problems that led up to the divorce but I'll never regret having her, she's…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 05:30 AM
2

Wtf? "If you do these things I'll retract the knife a little bit to make you feel safe only to plunge it in again when I randomly feel like it" Work together to save it? Yeah, that'd be productive and a good idea. But purely fulfill her requirements with her not doing anything? In most cases it takes two to ruin a marriage, unless you're abusive etc. you're most likely not the only one at fault, it's not only your job to fix your issues, it's not only your problem to solve. She should be your pa…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 10:07 AM
1

I'm not keen on it, but to be fair, that's also what I ask the woman to do, raise another woman's child (or actually not raise, that's what I do, but there's the whole problem of having to deal with a kid not your own but not exactly having parental rights, wishy-washy situation, on both sides), not gonna be a hypocrite about it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 09:02 PM
3

I don't know yet, based on this one relationship experience since the divorce that's what I'll try next. But if I happen to hit it off with another childless woman first I won't turn that down.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 11:33 AM
5

edit: cut my comment down a lot; Essentially, I only have had one relationship since the divorce with a childless single woman and part of the reason we broke up was that the reality of a child (demands, energy, as well as her own trauma from the divorce), dating a divorced father - despite that the fact that I'm an involved father was something she found attractive - with all that entails (the ex always being in the picture to some degree, my daughter wanting us to get back together despite zer…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 05:40 AM
4

Definitely. And don't do a DNA test, the constant doubt if you're raising another man's child will keep things interesting.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 06:18 AM
15

This sounds extremely similar to my situation, except my daughter is 7, so I can relate strongly how you feel. Also I suspect, but don't know that she actually had an affair before dropping the bomb, or if she just started immediately after. If I'm being totally fair and honest I actually believe her, that she didn't have an affair (physical, definetwlt already an emotional affair) then, yet, but pretty much she was about to, she started right after separation started officially. My ex and I com…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 06:33 AM
1

40
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 08:19 AM
3

It sucks. Just had a recent relationship end because, among other things, our life situations and expectations were not compatible long-term, in her opinion. In theory she appreciated me for being a father and how I care for my daughter and she likes children, in theory, but I think the reality of it proved too much for her. How exhausting a child can be to deal with, while not having the benefit of being the parent, it being your child etc., with the ex-wife always in the picture to some degree…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 07:52 AM
7

Not quite there yet, but I want to. When it was good, I enjoyed having her as "my person", trusting someone this implicitly, feeling such a connection to another person. I want that again, I want let her and the divorce experience etc. take that away from me. But I'm going into it with eyes unclouded now. It'll be a tight rope to walk, being open to finding it again with another woman but also being mindful of the dangers, being hurt like this again. Honestly, no possible future break-up could b…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 05:48 AM
2

"Been divorced a little over a week" Dude ... take time to process. I took a year off from any dating, advice I saw here, and I'm glad I did. Even after that year getting back into was strange, but I definitely wouldn't have been ready for dating, a relationship before that (we were together/married a little longer, 11 years and 6 years). Don't try to jump straight back into dating again just not to be lonely anymore, be honest with yourself, if you're really ready for it, if you can honestly sa…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 12:43 PM
4

Exactly, get divorced, like yesterday. It's over, you just haven't accepted it yet.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 12:25 PM
8

So the one you KNOW you have doesn't come up and that tells you, you DON'T have the other one either? Dude ... There's no definitive proof of type 1 providing immunity against type 2 not vice versa, unfortunately, I wish there was. Unfortunately research on the subject is very ... Limited, there's just no money in it, herpes doesn't generally cause a lot of problems
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 06:02 AM
4

I'm not set on getting married again, but I'm open to it under the right circumstances, with the right woman. I liked being married, having a "wife" rather than "just" a "girlfriend". But I'm careful about the dangers I faced in the first divorce (which fortunately didn't happen), e.g. losing contact to my daughter, praying alimony out the ass etc. With my girlfriend I could see it happening because we won't have any children (both too old, and I got a vasectomy, and it just doesn't make sense w…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 05:22 AM
14

More or less what I did. I was too shell-shocked to react well - the most embarrassing thing I remember I did was be understanding when she admitted she might have fallen for someone else (she did) "you can't control your feelings, who you fall for" ... Jesus Christ .... - but I didn't beg for her to reconsider. I asked if it was definitely over, I asked her to clarify whether there's a way to save the marriage, whether she'd be even interested. Because she very much did NOT communicate her disc…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 05:29 AM
5

A lot of us don't see it coming, I didn't :/ Take your time to read through the sub, but imho you have to be careful, getting red-pilled and painting all women with the worst brush can easily happen and imho happens to a lot of men here, often because they had admittedly terrible experiences. But if you go through this process hating all women, viewing them in the worst possible light, referring to them as "females" as some do is also not the right way, that'd just be a sad way too live. Do what…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 12:48 PM
1

I didn't have to fight either fortunately, I decided early on what was most important to me (getting my daughter 50% and getting having her "registered" at my place, something we have here, which prevents her mom from just up and moving away with her; didn't think she'd do it realistically, but also didn't think she's just call it quits with no prior warning; I'm not gonna do anything with it, just this way she can't either), focused on that, gave way/in on other things that were not so importan…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 06:39 AM
6

I don't care romantically about her - hah! no fucking way - and I truly don't want to care about her at all, unfortunately I'm not quite there yet,however being in a new relationship (with far better communication) helps getting more distance mentally and emotionally. She's the mother of my daughter so I'll never be completely rid of her and I have to deal with her. I'm still .... hm ... maybe not so much "hurt" anymore but still annoyed/angry about how she ended our marriage, no warning shot, n…
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 06:45 AM
8

Same here. I know for a fact she was out for an event with him and his sons and our daughter like 3 weeks after separation officially started, long before the divorce was finalised. But I strongly suspect she started sooner, very soon after we separated - even though we still lived together, more or less, for about 3 months before I could move it - possibly before she even told me she wanted to end things, but I'll never know for sure or be able to prove it. Given that she showed absolutely zero…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 04:10 PM
6

Genuinely haven't heard/read this advice. That's a weird kind of setup, the divorce being "out there" but going full weird-ass-passive "change and mayble she'll notice/come back" instead of confronting the issue in some way, talking about it, therapy, counselling, accepting it, hell, fighting ... no, just beginning a slow, long-term process and hoping and praying something will change, what? Bettering yourself, improving yourself, working out, working on yourself FOR YOU, is good advice in any c…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 08:13 AM
2

I vented to my family and in group therapy, I felt those were appropriate places to vent. Imho it's not good to stew in those feelings too long, I want to let go completely, free myself from her etc. although two years on I'm still not completely there yet, but finally being in a new, healthier (I think, although not without it's challenges) relationship helps. But I never vented to friends and acquaintances. No clue what she told/invented to whom, I just wanted to behave the way I think is corr…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 09:07 AM
8

I'm not anywhere near panic attacks fortunately, but only after beginning a new, healthier (I think, I hope, I looked out for warning signs, we communicate WAY better etc.) relationship I realized I also got some kind of trauma from the marriage. At first it helped my confidence, the feedback of being loved and accepted, in the end it hurt my confidence though in varying ways, being rejected, dropped like that, always being low-level afraid of doing something wrong, walking on egg shells because…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 03:23 AM
7

Yellow flag imho. You should have established from the outset where you stand on this issue and she should have understood/accepted. If you didn't state your expectations and stance clearly yet, do so, now. If she's dating a father, not a single guy, to a grown up woman it should be clear that his children are a priority. If she values herself above your children seeks to prioritise herself above them with you, that's not great imho. I also finally entered a new relationship just recently and my…
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 09:57 AM
7

I'm about to hit that point and I'm a bit apprehensive .... No clue what she actually thinks/says about her boyfrined in any kind of step-dad role but I'm about to make my girlfriend "official", as in shooting the ex a quick text that I'm in a relationship and I'll start introducing her to our daughter. She didn't do that, but I want to act the way I deem is right, even if she didn't. Anyway, no clue how she'll react. Best case is, she's still feeling about guilty about how she ended things and …
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 11:23 AM
2

If you have children, they're your purpose. If you don't, your purpose could be to live for yourself, to live a life you enjoy living by yourself, doing things you enjoy, striving towards goal you want to achieve, fixing things you did wrong so you can do/be better in the future, improving your quality of life, your health. It's all about you, no one else. Ideally, if that's one of your possible goals, you'll find someone again at some point who'll enjoy joining your life, enriching it rather th…
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 12:40 PM
7

I try - and often fail, but it's a slight upward trend - to be indifferent about it, I can't change it or her or how she raises our daughter. She got pretty much all she wanted, I moved out, she could buy "our" flat (with inheritance money) without me contesting it, I didn't take that much stuff with me, she could legally be with her new BF months before our divorce was even finalized (because separation had 'officially' started). I have no clue what she'd be unhappy about, yet she's as unstable…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 05:34 AM
8

I had a similar experience a few weeks after separation I think. Romantically I got over her relatively fast, the anger, sadness, depression, pain helped make that happen fast. One day, when I was bringing our daughter to her or something, I happened to glance at her butt (yeah, I'm watching women more again, butts, boobs, sue me) and I immediately shied away. That had been "my" butt once .... and now I didn't want to look at it/her anymore. So maybe not 'no feelings' but 'no positive feelings'.…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 06:24 AM
1

Also "and use a condom before that". We always used condoms before and after our daughter and before I got the snip, specifically because she didn't want to take hormonal birth control and I wanted to spare her from it. So unfortunately I can't blame her behaviour and or issues on birth control and hormones. Midlife crisis though ....
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 06:55 AM
7

Not gonna lie, the thought that being bi might be nice, has come up for me. I'd imagine dealing with men might be easier, having more 'options', both men and women, might be nice. Also a bonus if you're into swinging etc. (I'm not really, but dipped my toes in for a try once). Unfortunately I'm also definitely straight, zero attraction for men, so that's a no-go.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 07:31 AM
1

I have this coming up, most likely and it's got me worried. My daughter's birthday party is coming up, this year the ex is arranging it (we alternate by year, I did last year's) and I'm fairly confident this year her new guy will also be there, with his sons. The guy she definitely didn't have an affair with but started doing family outings with his sons and our daughter maybe 2 weeks after separation started officially and "hinting" in the separation talk that she *could possibly maybe become i…
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 09:33 AM
11

Sad but true. Dishwasher? Did it "wrong" (=not the way she did it) Washing, folding clothes? Wrong Organising fridge? Wrong. Cleaning the house? Wrong. But god help me if I ever once brought up the possibility of her doing something in a way that could be improved .... Definitely don't miss that.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 05:49 PM
1

I'm sorry you're going through this. Sounds very similar to my story, ex-wife didn't really let on that she was unhappy in the marriage until when she finally dropped the bomb it was already too late to do anything anymore, according to her. At that point I only had two options, fight her, force her to stay married pretty much against her will, when she already wanted out to be with her (at least) emotional AP. Didn't see that going well. Or give in, accept it and try to get the best outcome for…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 09:25 AM
5

I'm coming at this from the other side. My ex blindsided me with "it's over" out of pretty much nowhere. No clear prior warning etc. and when she finally spelled out clearly that she's unhappy she was already at the "it's over, nothing to salvage" stage. I wish she'd gotten me prior warning so I, we could have tried ... something, anything. Especially for our daughter. It's been close to two years and she still occasionally asks why we can't be/live together anymore and it breaks my heart each t…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 07:56 AM
8

Honestly, more. The AP didn't swear to stand by you in good times and in bad. He's an asshole for going for a married woman, but the majority of the blame lies with her.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 03:24 PM
2

Hate her tomorrow, the day after etc but the goal is to one day not care at all, ideally "forgive" her, not for her, but for yourself. Although I'm not quite there yet either. You hating her only hurts yourself, doesn't do shit to her, she may not even be thinking about you while you are all about hating her. You're "giving" her power over your emotions, how you feel. Better to just not give a shit about her at all. That's what helped me a bit, the realization, that while I'm here, riling myself…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 04:34 AM
7

Going on a speed dating event in about an hour and I really, really don't want to ... But that's the 4th time I booked one, didn't go to the first 3, I figured I finally have to give this shit a shot, at least once.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 05:30 PM
3

Also recently hit 40. That's definitely a big part of it, yes. Sex, physical intimacy, stuff like just cuddling, walking holding hands etc. But it's not just that, it's also all the rest that also comes along with with *good* relationship. The need for Sex I could take care of hiring escorts. Haven't done that yet but I'm getting there. Fortunately it's legal here, so that's not an issue, but I have to square it with my morals. I want to enjoy good times (and better ones) like the early years of…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 06:50 AM
5

Oh boy .... I run this in circles in my head still, two years after separation, and I hate it. I want to get over it, to truly let go of it, be free of it, of her. What I still have a hard time getting rid off, is the disappointment, feeling of betrayal, the hurt of the person you trusted and relied on the most to just ... give up, not care anymore and not even give me, us, the chance to salvage this. She only told me that she wanted a divorce when it was already over, too late according to her,…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 03:43 PM
8

Same. I took a year off after the divorce, only hit the apps after that year. The first few weeks sometimes spent hours a day swiping, not many matches. One great match, wrote with her for a month, two dates, didn't work out. Unfortunately had no match anywhere as good since then. I swipe like a handful of times a day if I remember to do it but when it's actually a match, my motivation drops beacuse I'm starting YET another conversation at zero. Trying to come up with good questions I genuinely …
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 02:38 PM
5

No way, none of her fucking business. She didn't even officially tell me she started a relationship with her "definitely not an affair" emotional AP immediately after we officially separated and immediately played happy little patchwork family with our daughter. So why the hell would I ever tell her about something that is very definitely MY thing which won't impact my daughter for a long time, until a relationship has gotten serious.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 06:38 PM
2

Ah ok, thanks, different language. More used to the term alimony. Thank god I didn't have to pay my ex SS, that would have made that already bitter pill way worse to swallow. Only had to pay child support and only because she'd been working only part-time for years (voluntarily, more time for herself, to find her emotional AP I guess ... ). And that finally stopped recently now that she's back to working full-time, thank god ...
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 05:16 PM
3

What's SS?
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 03:47 PM
2

Gym isn't necessarily about becoming bulky/muscular. Resistance training is also good for bone strength etc. I would give gyms another shot before giving up on them, but try changing things up. Go early in the morning when it's empty, or late at night etc. Maybe an empty gym works better for you, it does for me. Maybe a higher, more stylish/more high-class gym works for you, maybe you need guided courses or some coaching/personal training etc. But doesn't have to be gym of course, plenty other o…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 09:59 AM
1

I tend to agree. Unfortunately I looked my best when I got together with my ex (67kg at 175cm). Now I'm around 74kg, so decent, compared to my heaviest at 92kg during the marriage. But it's easier to get fit in you're mid-twenties than in your late 30s ... So slow process. But physical attractiveness is only a part, although that helps. Working on my confidence is even more important, although getting more attractive, feeling better about myself, helps in that department.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 04:56 AM
1

Damn, I gotta get me one of those.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 04:52 AM
15

No. Or I discounted it as a possibility so unlikely to be an impossibility. " Sure, divorce is a thing, but that's for other people, not us ...." Idiot ...
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 08:13 PM
4

This probably, although I only have suspicions and no proof. I know for a fact that she was with him barely 3 weeks later and she hibtes in The Talk that there could possibly be someone maybe. She tried to minimize the shit out of it, no, nothing happened yet, for sure etc. But then just days, weeks later she's with the guy she definitely wasn't with beforehand ....
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 04:15 AM
1

38
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 05:03 AM
13

Personal experience: someone unstable, who melts down at every slight criticism or even imagined criticism (she did that already before we got together, everyone in our friend group was aware; I just figured I could deal with it because I loved her .... ). Although the larger issues were that she was a terrible communicator, avoiding conflict (thus no warning pre-divorce until it was already too late) and always wanted "more", never satisfied. Unfortunately both of those only became obvious in t…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 05:19 AM
3

I don't talk shit about her to/in front of my daughter and not to shared friends or acquaintances. Unfortunately I don't have any friends purely my own, so I only vent to her with my family. And trying to reduce that as well, I want to get beyond anger etc. into truly no longer giving a shit about her. I'm definitely not hung up on her romantically anymore, but I hate that I still get too annoyed/angry because of her, shows I'm not completely detached yet and I don't want her to have any say in …
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 08:30 AM
2

Maybe it needs to be said if he's still too attached to her. He needs to detach completely from her, she cheated, she fucked someone else, she betrayed him. At some point, "forgiving" her for himself is healthy I think, but to do that he needs to detach properly first, and maybe he needs his friend to tell him the harsh truths if he still has the pink goggles on despite everything. Especially if they don't have kids together there's no good reason to remain in contact with her after she betrayed…
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 08:24 AM
13

She did. Blindsided me. Week, she didn't even come out with it on her own, she was too cowardly. Way too late I realized something was up, she'd been taking more and longer walks on her own in the evening/night (maybe not alone ....). One night when she was out for 3 hours, until midnight (I was at home with our daughter who was sleeping), I got more and more worried and some things came together in my mind, clicked. She booked a "therapy" appointment for herself the next day, which she'd told m…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 05:46 PM
9

Disillusionment. Don't see the point anymore. It's supposed to be a lifelong love and committment. Not in a religious etc. way, just "I expect to be with this person until I die, might as well make it official" and also get a number of benefits. I believed in that the first time around. Seeing how that went, with the mother of my child, not gonna fall for that a second time with someone I will have no children with (vasectomy). Why would I get married, tie myself this strongly to someone again? …
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 03:51 AM
9

"plenty of fish in the sea" Kinda hard to be confident to be able to catch another fish if the one you chose, for life, rejected you. That's my problem right now. I'm glad to be rid of her bullshit but I'm struggling to have the confidence that I'm "good enough" to attract other women. Like, there's so many more successful/witty/charming/attractive/... men available, why would they want me? What do I have to offer? My confidence in general - never great but better during marriage due to the rein…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 03:00 PM
3

TIL what "cluster B personality" means. And fuck me, I never knew about "histrionic personality". I am hesitant to label my ex a narcissist, because it's overused and doesn't quite fit. But damn, histrionic fits quite a bit better.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 12:27 PM
1

Unfortunately mine didn't give me clear warnings etc. When there was still a change to change something, only told me clearly in the "it's over" conversation (when she was already done with us and had the next guy lined up), not before, not giving me a chance to actually do something about it. I definitely (try to) own my part of it, I've been working to improve etc. since. But I also acknowledge I'm not the only one at fault, she and her issues, inability to communicate etc. also played a big p…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 09:25 AM
3

I try to be fair, even if it's hard regarding the ex, so I'm not gonna claim she's a narcissist, but I'll say she has some narcissistic traits. I think. I'm very much biased ... But people like to throw it around way too easily. A while back I got accused of being a narcissist here on reddit because I admitted that I am not a great conversationalist, I talk about myself too much and not enough about/to other people. Not because I think I'm so great (quite the opposite, that's another issue) but …
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 08:04 AM
3

I can relate, felt similar to that right after it happened. The initial shock, definitely depression, everything. The future you thought you had, you looked forward to ... gone, never existed, never to be. That's a lot to handle. While in the past suicide might have been "attractive" in that state, due to my daughter that was also never an option for me, never seriously crossed my mind (my father killed himself, so no way I was gonna do that to my daughter). Not enjoying old hobbies, just existi…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 07:35 AM
8

Especially not at work, wtf
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 03:44 AM
8

I get something small, chocolate or whatever. It's not for the ex, it's for my daughter, to give her the joy of gifting something to her mother, which she enjoys. Ex does the same on father's day.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 05:09 AM
3

My ex brought up an open thing in the ILYBINILWY conversation when she sprung the whole thing on me. Just a quick mention of how we could be open or something, didn't even explicitly mention "open marriage", how a friend of her had done that and liked it (not marriage, only relationship) etc. Imho she just wanted the benefit of getting with her new guy (no idea if she was already with him at that point or just this close to closing the deal) while still enjoying the benefits of marriage, me as a…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 06:51 AM
11

Same here, in my daughter's friend group, I know of only one other child that has divorced/separated parents, and that only relatively recently (the kid entering the 'friend group', not divorce of his parents, that happened 3+ years ago). Not all marriages get divorced at the same/within a few years. Very likely some of those parents will divorce in the future and still fit the statistic then, even if they don't right now. But yeah, being the only "single dad" when everyone else is coupled up (i…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 04:28 AM
9

I'm taking the recommended post-divorce year off, still got a bit to go, but yeah, I'm kinda itching to date someone again. Right now it's mostly wanting to get laid again, but increasingly it's also the loneliness, missing being with someone, having someone there when get home to talk, to cuddle, to watch a movie together. But I'm very glad I'm still taking that time for myself, rebuilding myself etc., also because my ex immediately jumped into a relationship with her (emotional) AP and my daug…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 09:31 AM
6

I can't see my daughter every day anymore due to the divorce, so 50/50 is the next best thing. I want to have as much time with her as I can, which realistically is 50/50. I wouldn't want to reduce her time with her mother either (not like that's an option). I don't see eye to eye with the ex on a number of things but she's still her mother, even if I'm still angry with her and not happy with a number of decisions she makes (some also regarding our daughter). Also, I couldn't do more than 50/50 …
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 04:57 AM
4

Been around a year since the separation started, i.e., the relationship ended. Did nothing dating-wise in that time, wanted to take the recommended year off, that's gonna be in June (since divorce). The first couple months wasn't a problem (in this regard), sadness, probably some depression etc., all that killed my libido, had the head full off other things, problems. Recently I started craving sex again though, more than the rest of a relationship, for now. But I'm .... apprehensive about the i…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 06:13 PM
3

I'll most likely never move in with someone again, even for long(er)-term. Afaik that's getting more common today anyway, couples being together but not moving in together. I don't ever want to be in the position again to have to move out and re-settle again. That shit was hard (and expensive) enough going on 40, not doing this again at 50, or 60. If a future relationship falls apart, nothing in my life changes, other than the romantic aspect. The only thing I find appealing about the idea of mo…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 09:18 AM
2

Shouldn't those things count against the amount of child support? At least that's how it is here fortunately (Austria). I also have to pay child support in 50/50, fortunately not that much (yet, it's increasing with the child's age) but those necessary expenses I pay reduce the amount of child support I have to pay. The basic idea is to ensure there's equal money available for the child at both parents. I only have to pay because my ex hasn't worked full-time in years and doesn't intend to (she'…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 07:14 AM
6

I'm all for accountability, good idea. I've seen too many here go 'I was the perfect husband, the perfect father, I did nothing wrong, it's all her fault'. Honestly, I doubt it. Either you're all paragons of virtue and I'm the only one who fucked up here, or at least some of the men here are not properly reflecting on their own faults. It doesn't feel good to admit it, but yeah, I fucked up and in retrospect I can see how she reached the point of falling out of love with me. I was a ... good, de…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 10:29 AM
5

Honestly, any somewhat adult person shouldn't even need to google "when to introduce new partner to children", it should be obvious that like straight after informing the children about the separation is NOT a good idea. You just shattered their world, they want both Mommy and Daddy, not Mommy and fucking Mike. Yeah, at some point, of course, introducing new partners is ok, but ffs, give them time to heal, to process. If you want to shag someone else, do it in your own time, without involving th…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 11:18 AM
2

Heh .. yeah ..
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 08:57 AM
5

True. My ex was working part-time for years, starting before she got pregnant with her daughter, and continuing even after she entered kindergarten etc. for 7+ hours a day, 5 days a week, me full-time the entire time. Because she worked less she cared for our daughter more (since divorce it's 50:50, fortunately), of course, she had more time, which is a reasonable split imho (I did shopping and cooking, which she couldn't stand, also she was never satisfied with how I did laundry etc.) She's bee…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 08:32 AM
3

I have no idea what she did with hers. I know she stopped wearing it not long after separation officially started, probably felt weird when holding hands with her new fucking guy (double entendre intended) ... ​ I kept wearing mine until the divorce was truly finalized, took it off in front of her, after we left the court, for the first time as divorced people. I'm not sure she even noticed. If it gave her even a little bit of a guilty conscience, me wearing it, her not etc., good, I don't care …
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 05:29 AM
2

I hope so. Not there yet either, been a year for me. I'm glad to have as little contact as possible with here. Forced to have some contact due to our child. I received the advice, that it takes approximately 1/3rd of the duration of the relationship to truly get over it (I assume if you actively "work" on it, not just time going by alone), to feel relatively neutral about her again. This came from my therapist, who was divorced after 22 years and he said that, yeah, it took him around 7 years to…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 10:41 AM
7

No. Had she offered, I might have gone for it, I was still heavily in "married/love" mode, took a while to get out of it. She was busy having sex with someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 05:38 AM
9

I'm not fully there yet, but better. Consciously trying to detach from it. It's ok and valid to be hurt and angry etc. so it's ok to feel that way, for a time. But do I want to feel like that in 5 years, still tie my emotions to her and what she's doing with whom? Being miserable because my ex moved on (very, very quickly) years ago (then, in the future, been only 6 months for me)? Hell no. That'd mean years later my emotional well-being would still depend on her and that's not a life I want to …
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 11:16 AM
5

At least this crap didn't hit for me. My ex always had her "male best girlfriend". In the beginning I worried a bit about that but over the years he got from one relationship into another, there was never anything but friendship I could detect and in the end (very soon after the separation started, maybe before, I'll never know for sure) she got with another guy I knew only very little about, from her... sports club.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 05:53 PM
2

Very few people are gonna hit sub 10% though realistically, that's seriously low bodyfat territory, a lot of lifetime athletes, bodybuilders etc. don't hit that, at least not on a regular basis. I'm stuck around 20% for a while now, my goal is to hit around 15%, that's a realistic and achievable goal which also looks damn good already.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 01:41 PM
9

You're not gonna get a heart attack just by setting foot into the gym. There's plenty of low impact stuff you can do in the gym, you can take it easy etc. If these men are - as you claim - this close to a heart attack they could just as well get one from running to catch a bus etc. Long walks are definitely also a good thing, but they are lonely and you don't have much else to do but think. Which can be good at the right time, but also just as dangerous as you claim the gym is, at the wrong time…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 01:38 PM
14

Drive. I was too content in my marriage, didn't do much except enjoy married life, play too much video games, being lazy and content. Now I don't play games anymore (just feel by the wayside, doesn't give me the same enjoyment anymore) but hit the gym, read up on a lot of topics, do a lot of self work, group therapy, develop more interests, try to socialize with people again etc. on the days my daughter isn't with me. On those days it's 100% father daughter time. I don't have enough hours in the…
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 07:37 AM
2

I was about to go to my GP doctor, a woman, who's also a psychotherapist. Had one session, I figured I'd continue because I already liked and trusted her as a GP. However she's also my ex's GP, which would not have been a problem, it would have been weird. She said she wouldn't take the ex on as a psychotherapist if I was her patient, only one, and the ex, despite actually getting the recommendation by her to see a therapist, just ... didn't. I still like the doctor, still have her as my GP, but…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 08:01 AM
1

It's ridiculous. My ex also brought up open marriage, albeit only very briefly, in the "bomb drop" conversation. "A friend of mine had an open relationship and liked it and I never thought I'd be the person for it, but maybe ..." Also "I hugged this guy after we talked about how our children come first, nothing more, and I felt ... something. Nothing happened, but that showed me it's over" or something. Sure ... a hug ... nothing more ... that's why you bring up open marriage at THAT moment, THA…
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 05:45 AM
4

I know I did some things wrong, nothing big though. No infidelity (I'm no longer so sure about her, she got with her new guy awfully ... suspiciously ... fast), no alcoholism, no violence, nothing big. Just a lot off small stuff, doing and not doing things. Death by a thousand cuts. I just got lazy. I felt too comfortable in the marriage, didn't put in enough effort. I can now see how what I did and didn't do led to her falling out of love, I'm taking responsibility for that, for my actions or i…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 08:16 AM
1

No, I definitely was not in peak condition during the marriage. Why didn't I work out ... Lack of motivation, laziness, just being too comfortable in the married life. I now regret that, and a lot of other things, wasted too much time doing mostly nothing. I did pretty much nothing but "enjoy the good life" during the marriage, no self-improvement etc. (got worse over time, definitely didn't start out like that, I was in the best form of my life at the beginning ...). When I started going to the…
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 07:35 AM
4

Could be. One woman gets divorced (she initiates, of course), tells her married friends how great life now is, all the benefits, none of the problems etc. (misery loves company) and the married friends go "I want that too kind of", then all the little stuff her husband did wrong over the years (not a problem till now, but suddenly ...) get blown way up in her head and *poof* next "I love you but I'm not in love with you anymore", and on and on it goes. (Having a grouchy day today, other days I'm…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 09:03 AM
7

Same, periodically Google gives me "remember this x years ago" stuff. I don't click on it. Half the time it's also photos of my daughter which would be nice but also make me sad (got 50:50 fortunately, still, just reminds me of the life we had and lost) but there's also plenty of the ex-wife, so no thanks. I don't delete them though, in fact I have them on Google cloud as well as syncing them to a NAS. They are from when we were still happy , there were good times as well, and at some point me o…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 04:41 PM
10

I’m posting in this subreddit because I’m sure he has a lot of the same feelings as you men on here and I just want perspective from a man in his shoes. Not to be a dick, sorry, but you could get that in r/Divorce as well. r/Divorce_Men is only for men, our "safe space" so to say, same for women and r/Divorce_Women. Also, a less controversial point: Your post could use a few paragraphs. ;) Reading such a wall of text is exhausting. Could be a combination of him just being too hurt and thus wary,…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 12:11 PM
6

If we didn't have a kid I might have. My employer has offices in Seoul and maybe soon Japan so I might have just fucked off to there.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 06:06 PM
3

True. What if i was wrong? What if i was the one who’s wrong? You were. And so was she. To what degree, the specifics etc. that depends on you both, your marriage. But the worst thing you can do is get out of this thinking "I did nothing wrong, I don't have to change a thing". At the very least you have to change the type of partner you're going for, you were or became incompatible, she became a cheater, don't go for a cheater. Most like you made mistakes too though. If you both entered this mar…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 06:32 AM
1

I'm also worried about this this year, a bit less than I was a few weeks ago though.First year for me as well, fortunately this christmas my daughter is with me, not with the ex. Also according to the plan we made it looked like I'd have her only 24th and 25th, then 6 days with her mother, including my birthday which is during that time, then 6 days with me. Wasn't looking forward to that. Fortunately the ex's plan's changed (she says work, I assume something with her dude, frankly, I don't give…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 05:46 AM
2

How did you guys get over the anger and rage over these types of situations? ​ I'll tell you when I'm there. :/ It's been getting better, but occasionally I still find myself getting angry at her. I let myself be angry, feel the anger, for a short bit, then I try to let it go. I try my best to distance myself, to not think about her and her shit, to no longer care about it, it's over, it's done, me being angry or hurt does nothing to her, it only makes me feel like shit and worst case my daughte…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 09:19 PM
2

Been a bit over 8 months since separation for me as well, already divorced, went fast, relatively, fortunately. I almost put a toe into online-dating just recently, mainly for sex, flings. Didn't want to look for serious relationship stuff, just some quick fun for now. However I realized a) I'd just flood myself with happy hormones this way anyway, avoid the pain, avoid the hard work of working on myself etc., the same way the ex does with her new guy and I don't want to do that b) I don't think…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 12:38 PM
9

I planned on moving the day after she dropped the bomb. We had talked so much about buying our appartment, together, but mostly with her money (inheritance) so I knew if I insisted on keeping the flat, it would have been war. Giving that up gave me better odds on child-related stuff, what was really important. Started searching for a new appartment the very next day and moved out a month before divorce. Moving out into "my" own place, no longer having to co-habitate with her, when she didn't lov…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 01:34 PM
1

Is moving to Hawaii an option? It's a shit deal, but honestly, if you could make it work, you'd have your kids again. And in future dealings you could say "see? I was even willing to move somewhere else just for my kids", that's gotta count for something. Unfortunatley, if her guy is "stationed" in Hawaii, I assume it means he's military or something and they could move *again* when he gets stationed somewhere else. That the judge even agreed to this ... damn I'm glad I'm no in the US, sorry man…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 09:14 AM
2

True. I've decided to only start dating like a year after the divorce, at the earliest. I'd like to have sex again earlier than that (been going on a year soon, since the last time with the ex, not sure how to got about that yet. Trying not to stress out about it though, also trying to "desexualize" myself, I'm too focused on sex, to anxious, too horny, which ironically does not help actually getting some. In my head I'm not "single", I'm "recently divorced", just the wrong mindset, the wrong he…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 11:16 AM
2

Considered checking out golf but shit is expensive ... Might try it out at some point, but right now still too strapped for cash and I have another move/+new kitchen coming up.... Also have a guitar lying around, I'll have to get back to learning it. Also: learning a new language. Maybe check out local stand-ups. Not so much a hobby as an activity, but you get entertained and can laugh for an hour or two, often not very expensive. Went yesterday, funnily enough the topic of the evening was datin…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 09:10 AM
3

They're both dudes, "happy wife school" isn't really a good fit ....
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 06:52 AM
3

True. But giving it an honest try for the kids is worth it imho. And an honest shot at saving isn't "suck it up for the kids and stick it out" but talk to your partner and try to save it, address the issues clearly , try counseling, whatever, anything. My wife dropped the bomb and just ended it there "I love you as her father but I'm not in love with you anymore", also, there's another dude possibly already and so on. Because she had never explicitly addressed her unhappiness, the reasons, only …
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 06:37 AM
1

Part of the reason I got married because it would be easier when it comes to kids, i.e., you automatically get recognized as the father (also happens if your wife cheats and the kid is not yours however, but thankfully at the time that was not a concern, and our child is obviously mine), automatic shared custody etc. whereas if you're not married you have to "claim" the kid, request custody etc. However in the divorce I could have just as well lost all that again. Fortunately all went well, but …
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 05:41 AM
1

I have a bank safe (for original documents like birth certificates etc. in case of a fire, I'm a bit paranoid), I put it there. Our wedding rings were made from an iron meteorite (cool idea, never paid off enough though, couldn't see the Widmanstätten pattern very well after a while due to skin oils etc.) so materially it's not worth much, so selling it isn't an option.Kept it for now because I couldn't bring myself to throw it away (it still cost a bunch, fantastic way to waste money ...). Also…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 05:26 PM
28

Related, my experience: Our "split" was, among other things, that I do grocery shopping and I cook, because I was the better cook and I enjoyed cooking.She did most of the cleaning (I helped a bit, wasn't like she vacuumed every day or whatever either) because she wasn't satisfied with how I did it and, judging by the amount of youtube videos she watched on the subjects of cleaning and organizing, she also enjoyed it or whatever. Anyway. In the post-separation talks she dropped how "the cooking …
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 07:53 PM
1

This is so true. I didn't have that many friends to begin with then I let the few friendships I had wither and die over the years, because I had her and that was all I ever wanted and enough for me. Then she dropped me like a hot potato and I was confronted by the fact that most of the friends we had were initially/mainly her friends and I was just an addendum, or were friends that live in the building our appartment was in, the one she kept, so those mostly go with the appartment, because I'm o…
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 08:39 AM
2

Np. Around 3 months since divorce, 9 months since separation, which she sprung on me, so I'm still relatively early in the process (for a 10+ year relationship). Not there (over it) yet, but I'm slowly getting there, getting a handle on my anger, hurt etc. Support irl: That's more a problem, mostly my immediate family. Thanks for asking.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 05:13 AM
5

Misses an option along the lines of "No, I don't want her back any more but I also am not emotionally healthy yet, i.e., over it". I don't want her back anymore, I miss what we had and I still pay her too much attention emotionally, every little fucking thing she does I notice/hear about annoys me, angers me, hurts me. I want to reach the point where I truly don't care anymore, where the way she lives her life doesn't hurt me anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 06:28 AM
1

Thanks for this recommendation. I decided to "grow up" fashion-wise etc. after the divorce. I was always fine being a "grown-up kid" because my ex was like that as well. The shock of the divorce put a few things into a new light, made me re-think a lot of things and I decided I don't want to a going-on-40 20-year old anymore.Also because it feels like she's leaning even more heavily into this, afraid of the big 40, I think, and it just feels ... a little pathetic. Out of fear of the "the rest of…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 09:13 AM
6

No. Nooooo. 8 months ago: love of my life, I'll be with her till I die. Now: I don't know who this person is and I want as little contact as possible. Hypothetical scenario: IF she wanted to get back together I'd have to consider it. Just the off-chance to give our daugther "her" family back ... Not enthusiastic though, I don't know how I could trust her again.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 08:44 AM
1

True, but it's - as the title says - very much about the Nice Guy-type. Which initially I thought I was but the more he went into his definition of a "Nice Guy" and his behavior I realized "that's not me".There are some similarities, to be sure, but I don't think I'm a Nice Guy per his definition so also some - not all - of his advice doesn't fit/work for me. I'd definitely appreciate some other book tips specifically about how to "disconnect" your emotions from your ex. I find I still get trigg…
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 09:08 AM
1

I had it easy, as far as divorces go, got to keep my (not huge, but thankfully enough for now) savings (but she got the appartment nad most of our stuff), don't have to pay her allimony, just child support and not a lot of that.But I still used up close to all my savings, because I moved out with not a whole lot. She got to keep the appartment (custody etc. was more important than fighting for some stuff) and I mostly kept pretty much just my stuff, barely any of "our" stuff.So I had to get a ne…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 07:38 AM
8

Because we've all been there ... :(
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 04:11 AM
1

Does it help if there are two of them? I read a while ago that having two cats is better for them, because they aren't alone and even cats get lonely at some point. I'm currently thinking about getting a cat, or rather I've pretty much decided to get one, just considering whether to get two, and when to get it/them. Background: My ex loves cats but she's allergic (hah!) so she can't get one. I suggested multiple times she try something to get rid of the allergy, back in the marriage, she never l…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 05:26 AM
6

Pretty much this, yeah. At this point, considering how much she hurt me, and from a distance/in this new situation realizing more and more of her bad attributes (e.g., lying, cowardice, inability/unwillingness to reflect on her own behavior, ...) I don't want her back. I want back what we had when we were still good. I want the life back I had imagined, the certainty that "this is it and how it's gonna stay". I want the whole family experience back for my daughter. I want to see my daughter 100%…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 10:06 AM
6

For me, having my daughter and focusing on her helps a lot, as well as keeping busy on the days I don't have her. Fortunately we did 50:50 custody and I have her half the time as well, so half of the time I'm not "alone". The other days it takes some getting used to (similar time frame as OP, got blindsided february, finalized around a month ago), but right now I keep busy, e.g., going to the gym etc. I pretty much have no friends (the few friends I had I lost over the years, also because I was …
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 05:27 PM
2

The year wait is not for her, it's for you. Screw her and what she's thinking/angry about. If she was a healthy human being she'd also take some time for herself instead of jumping right into the next relationship, one she's definitely not ready for yet after a long-term relationship/marriage. (Just like so many other ex-wives, also mine ... 11 years relationship, 6 years married and ... already dating her new "definitely not an AP" guy) Hasn't been very long for me, the separation, divorce etc.…
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 12:06 PM
2

Yeah, also thought of that. For all I know she told him we'd been separated for a year already. She's more adept at lying than I thought she was, who says I'm the only one she's lying to...
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 02:15 PM
5

Exactly. That's what I'm torn on regarding my ex and her new guy.She wanted to end the marriage because she was no longer in love and was "starting" to feel something for him. Well, barely 2 months later they were together (well, that went fast ... almost like she was farther along in the relationship than she led me to believe ... lying $%!#) yet she still hasn't made it "official", to me or in general afaik. Probably because she knows it looks like shit to other people if you're already in a n…
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 07:44 AM
15

Same here for the "not looking directly at her" as well as all the rest. I didn't even start doing it intentionally, just happened. At one hand-over of our daughter later I realized I don't know what the ex looked like because I didn't look at her once.Now, sometimes I intentionally look at her at least once just for basic decency (just because she's ... whatever ... doesn't man I have to be; also, anything to reduce the risk of her blowing up over some shit, like being pissed off I don't even l…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 08:26 AM
11

Same here. The few times I see her it's a weird sensation. Just half a year ago, I was in love with this woman and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Now she's almost a stranger. Also, I noticed I can't really think back - or emotionally, mentally grasp - past memories with her. When I can, I don't feel ... anything. I assume it's still part of the emotitional grieving process, like shock or something. But damn, those Google Photos '1/2/3/4 years ago today" reminders hurt. :( I feel s…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 08:29 AM
2

Exactly. There is no nice way to say this, it's an ugly thing, you can't polish a turd.Like ripping of a bandaid, some things you just have to get over with. Not knowing can be worse than knowing. I know my ex had a new guy before the divorce was done with, I know he was a trigger for her wanting out, she actually said so in "the talk". But she minimized what had happened at that point, "just a hug, nothing more, but she felt something there". I have no clue if that's really the truth or if it h…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 05:16 AM
2

I'm pretty firmly set on getting a tattoo as well. My reasoning: I've been wanting to get one for 20+ years but never did it, never found an image I wanted to have permanently on me. Now I'm going on 40, freshly divorced, and I'm thinking just ... "fuck it". I don't want to hesitate anymore. I was very risk-averse for a long time, I'm not gonna completely change that, but dammit, I'll be finally getting that tattoo.I've pretty much decided to get it, I just don't know what and when. As luck woul…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 04:52 AM
19

Because everyone thinks "I know, I know, that will not be ME, I will be the exception". That's what I thought 2016 when we got married until 4 months ago when she dropped the bomb. That's one of the reasons I don't see myself ever getting married again. I don't want to risk facing the whole process of divorce again (finalized yesterday, fortunately it went relatively smoothly for me, the emotional pain aside, the loss of trust etc.). I don't think I can have the same kind of trust for another wo…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 09:47 AM
3

I don't think I'll ever marry again. I hope to have a (more) fulfilling relationship, maybe a lasting one, at some point again, because I did enjoy being in a relationship. But I have to change as well for the next relationship to be better, I definitely made myself dependent on her, which isn't healthy for either side. I get why she wasn't happy (or rather became that way, we started out well), as far as her perception, my behavior etc. go (some of it true, some of it overblown, some of it down…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 04:33 AM
3

Personally the thought of getting a dog came up for me as well but I decided against it. I've got my hands full with work, working on my issues and self growth, getting a handle on my new life, being 100% there for my daughter the days I have her (thankfully 50%) etc. I don't want the responsibility for another being not do I relish the thought of the effort Augusta (had a dog in the past) like training etc. A cat might be easier but I fear it'd scratch the hell out of my new furniture.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 06:34 AM
8

Not necessarily that much different, just ... became more herself, or rather the worst aspects of herself. Now that I've fallen out of love as well - I wasn't in the beginning of this shitshow, but the process and her behavior, her lying and hiding things, thinking I'm stupid (of course I don't realized she's already in a new relationship, she's just sooo adapt at hiding it.......), her valuing her personal happiness over our child's ... - I've come to realize just HOW MUCH she resembles her mot…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 10:55 AM
2

I'm not sure it was salvagable, maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. But I would have loved to at least give it a serious shot. She didn't give me, us, that option.Never explicitly (as in, we definitely talked openly about it after the bomb dropped, but never before) brought up important things that I did - or didn't do - that she didn't like/that hurt her. I definitely fucked up on a number of things, but it wasn't like that was intentional or I would not have been willing to work on it (definitely w…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 06:30 AM
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