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No-Border680 Archive

View 18 posts and 138 comments by No-Border680 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
271

CMVNo-Border680/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/22 03:38 PM
198

DiscussionNo-Border680/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:11 PM
88

CMVNo-Border680/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 02:03 PM
80

CMVNo-Border680/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/22 10:41 AM
51

DiscussionNo-Border680/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 02:51 AM
43

No-Border680/r/ExRedPill06/12/21 01:21 PM
41

No-Border680/r/ExRedPill03/12/21 12:50 PM
39

No-Border680/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 03:21 PM
31

CMVNo-Border680/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/22 05:33 PM
24

No-Border680/r/ExRedPill22/08/21 03:34 PM
21

DiscussionNo-Border680/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/22 12:55 AM
11

DiscussionNo-Border680/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 05:42 PM
9

No-Border680/r/ExRedPill20/09/21 05:41 PM
8

DiscussionNo-Border680/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 11:20 AM
7

DiscussionNo-Border680/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/21 03:55 AM
5

DiscussionNo-Border680/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/22 02:30 PM
3

CMVNo-Border680/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/22 01:20 PM
0

CMVNo-Border680/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 01:09 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
0

People and relationships with people aren’t my goal. When there is someone in my life, be it family or friend or partner that I want to keep around, I don’t do things with/for them to accomplish a specific relationship goal. It just flows naturally. And that doesn’t mean I don’t DO anything, it just means I do what I can as it comes up. You should care about making other people be enthusiastic about being with you, make others feel comfortable in confiding in you, like you. These are things you(…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/22 02:32 PM
-3

So being victimized, in your mind, made you decide to be a bad partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/22 02:13 PM
2

I don't really know what you're talking about, but I feel like you're not talking with me. I'm not a voice in your head.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 11:00 AM
1

Just like RP, you have taken a bunch of random studies or data and mashed them together until they match your worldview. Maybe you should try dating a RP guy, since the way you process information seem to be so similar? I'm being serious here.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 10:58 AM
3

If you help maintain a system that is generally hurtful to other people, even if it's not your fault that you do so, do you think that you have some sort of responsibility to do better?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 10:52 AM
2

I am, in fact, not socially retarded. I can tell if I had been approaching an asshole, I can tell when men as a group are making negative assumptions about women who approach, I can tell when an approach is appropriate No, you can't. Unless they say this directly to your face, then you really don't know. First of all, rejection hurts and it will cloud your judgement and warps how you interpret peoples reactions. ​ and I can make a partner feel attractive without asking them out. ​ We know we are…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 10:50 AM
1

OK, then you tell me: how would one define a decent woman in a way that you can collect statistics on it?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 10:34 AM
4

You don't understand how normal people uphold prejudiced social structures. What you think is less important to what you DO and the consequences these actions have. There are no coincidences with these things.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 10:31 AM
3

You suffer from extreme tunnel vision. Most data says that women with mental illness are more at risk than men, but that the men are also victimized.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 10:24 AM
3

How the fuck would you even be able to collect this data? What would you even look for? Look, being shitty and being abusive doesn't need to be the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 10:21 AM
4

They really aren't based of harmful ideas or "the role of a man", its just always happened that way for me for men to approach, coincidently. There's no coincidences here, men approach you because they've been raised to do so and they're shamed and ridiculed if they don't approach first. The reason you prefer that men approach you first, is because you have been raised to expect men to approach you. The reason why you feel that men that approach you is confident is because you have been raised t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 10:18 AM
1

My bad. English isn't my first language. Trying to get better at it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 10:03 AM
2

Source on what? That mentally ill people are more at risk of being victims of predation and violence? This data is so common that it's odd that you even need a source on it. Just google "victimization of persons with mental illnesses", it's super easy to find.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 10:02 AM
3

Sources about what, exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 09:58 AM
5

My question was about her breaking her own biases and prejudices.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 09:50 AM
10

I said: I mean, if a guy told you that he prefers a woman that "knows her place", you would probably feel slightly insulted. You replied: I only meant for me personally I have always been the one approached and I preferred that. I replied: I think you misunderstand my point. Is a man being misogynistic just a "preference" or a flaw that he probably should work on? A man that prefers a woman that "knows her place", means that he has misogynistic ideas about how a woman should behave. He can compl…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 09:44 AM
6

Sexual attraction isn't a factor in my post.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 09:36 AM
9

I think you misunderstand my point. Is a man being misogynistic just a "preference" or a flaw that he probably should work on?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 09:32 AM
2

Sure. Depend's on how the mental illness is expressed, IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 09:30 AM
14

I mean, if a guy told you that he prefers a woman that "knows her place", you would probably feel slightly insulted. We all are born with biases and prejudices, don't you think that you share some duty or responsibility to break these?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 09:15 AM
4

If you like him, why would you put him in a position to feel less attractive? I mean, aren't you telling on yourself here? You're implying that you're a shitty partner, don't you think?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 09:13 AM
13

Some of us like to be pursued though and have men approach us, makes us feel desired and see him as confident. Who doesn't like to feel desired?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 09:11 AM
7

Yep. Go to therapy dude. Women die because they date mentally ill men, they're right for trying to avoid that My question was if these men, that have these issues, are pussies if they have a hard time approaching. Why are you bringing up violence? Mentally ill people are usually the most vulnerable people in our society and are much more likely to have violence done to them, than reverse.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 09:02 AM
8

Women struggle the most with dating bad men, cheating men, men who take them for granted and me who hate them. I think you will find that men struggle with finding women that aren't shitty as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 08:56 AM
3

If we go through the most successful people in the world, how many of them do you think will have some form of mental health issue?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 08:53 AM
7

You clearly don't know shit about the effect those jobs have on people, or what type of people that work in those fields.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 08:48 AM
4

Do you think that there's some underlying reasons for these kinds of issues to evolve?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 08:45 AM
3

I dunno, I think that most people that say yes are meh about it in some way. They'll probably have some level of enthusiasm but it will probably be a bit lower than the one that approached them. This is probably natural and might even be slightly hard wired into us, you just default to a "let's see where this goes" state of mind. What people that don't approach often can't seem to realize is that it's kinda on them to raise the others enthusiasm-level, convince them to invest in the connection t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 08:42 AM
9

Because if he can't find it within him to pursue me, he must not want me that badly. Men, and how they are attracted, are way more complicated than just being hot or cold. ​ Or he's just a pussy, in which case I don't want him anyway. Do people with fobias, anxieties, CPTSD count as pussies?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 08:34 AM
10

Maybe you suck at approaching and should just get better at it?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 08:28 AM
1

Good dominance is protecting the weak and vulnerable, standing up for yourself, self defense. Etc… That's not dominance... calling it dominance is problematic, it can lead to people just not doing their duty for their fellow man because it's just not "who they are as a person". ​ Women are human being with flaws. And depending on their upbringing, they can mistake bad dominance for good dominance. So maybe they were raised with an abusive father, and they see that as an attractive quality in a m…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 08:25 AM
1

I think it's easy to deduce what people mean by bullying here. You really have to try, if you miss peoples meaning.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 08:13 AM
5

Because the abuser got attention from the women. The abuser was seen as exciting because of how he behaved, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 04:43 PM
5

To clarify, it's from the victims perspective that the women are enablers..
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 04:37 PM
1

What the fuck are you talking about?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 04:32 PM
3

Believe it or not, those bullies tend to have female targets as well. Sure, but we're talking about male victims now and how they're affected.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 03:40 PM
1

Yeah, so?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 10:45 AM
3

Men should talk about it when it's appropriate, in a way that makes it uncomfortable for others to ignore it. No, that does not mean that they should crash women's events or speak over their voices.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 04:39 PM
6

Right, but if a lot of men, a sizable portion of them, seem to have women they know that like Z, that's a valid reason talking about it. That's how you build up interest to start these studies.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 04:37 PM
7

Then I'm not sure what your point is? I never said that men should talk over women?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 04:33 PM
6

Is men talking about it in public, as you said, talking over women?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 04:28 PM
5

About what? The talk about men experiencing sexual assault? That we coddle women abusers? Are these men manbabies? Edit: The victims speaking out I mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 04:24 PM
2

Your strategy of embracing your hurt feelings and publicly complaining like women, ignores the fact that complaining actually works for women because it triggers a rescue response. Men complaining not only DOES NOT trigger that same response but actually has an inverse response and triggers a revulsion response. If someone's crying out for help, people tend to try to help them. People are empathetic like that. What you're describing are people seeing a child instead of a grown ass woman, It's no…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 04:07 PM
2

Least important excuse for calling her a loser.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 04:02 PM
7

People have a hard time seeing the difference between trends and generalizations. All women are X, that's generalizing. We often observe women do X, that's what I'm talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 04:00 PM
0

That's the words that they use, but it's not reflected in their actual teachings or behavior. Hell, even the mission of demystifying women's behavior is weird. It's a backhanded way of justifying assholish behavior by giving it greater weight than it deserves. Is the behavior bad or not, that's the MAJOR question men should address.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 12:07 PM
3

There's rejection there. People ignoring you is a form of rejection. I'm interested in how different sorts of rejections affect people.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/22 02:57 PM
1

It's more that what society describes as masculine is very exclusionary and it's hard to be seen as masculine. It's enough to be outside the mold than in
/r/ExRedPill31/01/22 07:03 AM
1

It's less about masculinity and more about what we think a unmasculine man looks like. Masculinity, as society views it, is often very constricting. It's very easy to be seen as unmanly, because it's very exclusionary by design.
/r/ExRedPill31/01/22 07:01 AM
6

What society view as a confident and "masculine" man are based on very harmful and toxic ideas. One problem is that this is coded as an either or kind of thing with very little in between. Masculinity is essentialized to all hell, unfortunately.
/r/ExRedPill30/01/22 12:52 PM
1

I shouldn't have used the word "test". It's more like the guy testing the water in a place where sharks are commonly seen. I think that this is a case of someone not fully understanding something because of not having lived through it. To the outsider I guess it's hard to see how systemic, how normal this is. Men from all walks of life have talked about it. Passing trans men have noticed how, after their transition, their emotions are suddenly met with hostility, contempt and scorn. Passing tran…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 10:33 PM
1

Sounds like you're not weird about men's emotions. That's cool and based. Be proud.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 03:32 PM
2

i find it to be kind of manipulative to intentionally create an emotionally charged issue/moment for the sole purpose of testing your partner. from either gender cuz i know women do that shit too. I agree, generally. But I think that it's hard to know about this kind of thing and you don't want to be blindsided 6 months into the relationship. It's important to note that I'm not advocating for creating drama or lying. It's about the guy getting a sense of the woman's disposition to men's emotions…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 03:21 PM
1

Sure, but that might be because it's an underdeveloped skill.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 03:17 PM
3

From men's experience, what's considered appropriate is vastly different between the sexes. That's what we're talking about. It's not that trauma dumping or emotional labor doesn't exist, it's that a lot women have a warped view of what should be "normal" for a man to feel and what's too much.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 03:16 PM
1

Back to the topic at hand: What do you think about men strategically opening up to you, to see what type of person you are?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 03:09 PM
2

The fuck... No, I'm not talking about you getting horny. Where did you get that from?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:49 PM
5

Here's the thing, nobody's really talking about women "fixing" men but women themselves. It feels very much like gaslighting when this is said. That you feel like that's what's asked of you seem to be your bias. We're talking about us men being allowed to express emotions in front of you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:32 PM
5

I get that it can be a sore topic. But as a male POC myself, I have a different perspective here. In my experience they share the same vibes, even if the racism one is much more visceral and threatening. Having said that, sometimes they intersect,as someone that's perceived to be black I'm expected to be even MORE masculine than average.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:29 PM
5

And this is how I end up not caring about people’s “problems”. If you have to compare your “problems” with more serious problems, that means your own “problems” arent legitimate enough to stand on their own. Hence, you have to appeal to people’s emotions other ways. I never said that they're equally bad or problematic, I used them as an analogy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:18 PM
2

Them being choosy and you not seeing dating as a job interview doesn't need to be mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:11 PM
11

"Test" might not be the best word for it, I guess. "Putting out feelers" might be more accurate.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:09 PM
12

The same force that call promiscuous women whores or sluts... Society, basically.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:47 PM
6

This is a healthy outlook. But I think that you participating in group therapy might have taught you to have a different perspective on male feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:45 PM
21

I don't think that men mean that we should be emotional robots. More like the range of emotions, thoughts and feelings we're allowed to show as men are extremely limited.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:40 PM
5

I believe you, but you might be an outlier here. When these problems are brought up, a lot of men tell similar stories.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:36 PM
5

It’s silly to do this. It’s like admitting to messing up at previous jobs to an employer that one is doing a job interview for. Once a guy has established himself as a solid partner in other ways than a woman might be more understanding of vulnerabilities. I think that too many men see dating as a job interview, because they don't understand their own worth. The best way to improve this is to set up boundaries, because it signals that you cherish and value what's behind them - not everybody shou…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:31 PM
1

Can you give a specific example? He wants to be vulnerable and she wants to see his vulnerable side. People usually react extremely poorly to men being vulnerable, he's been burned before so he's hesitant - he wants some sort of implied sign from her, that she wont burn him like so many other people in his life. Instead of appreciating this part of his humanity, she becomes upset that he doesn't trust her already. It's him attacking her by having the wrong sort of needs. She won't even try to lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/22 10:34 PM
1

Not to be conspiratorial or anything, but I think that men have been dissuaded to explore this part of themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/22 01:40 AM
2

If you have ASPD, then you're an outlier I think. If anything enthusiasm and curiosity are waaay more important than competence if we are going to focus on personality traits. But those traits are something that you could be competent at tho....
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/22 01:36 AM
3

It depends on the person, but generally it's about the ability to achieve good results, much less about what.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/22 01:20 AM
–

The problem with bias is that we can't notice it. You can often only see it by reviewing your reactions and not your assumptions. When we're talking about women, we often focus on things that minimizes their agency. We uplift the things that makes women seem more helpless, childlike and brittle. When we're talking about women's sexuality and relationships, this is turned up to eleven. Everybody does this, progressives too. This has been observed by feminist scholars.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/22 01:15 AM
1

If we're talking about sex and dating, progressives do treat and talk about women in a paternalistic and patronizing way. They're just nicer about it. I would say that there's a line where someone sees a person and not their gender. RP almost exclusively see gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/22 08:12 PM
4

... I'm sorry if I've been unclear, but that was what I thought I said in my OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/22 05:49 PM
0

Because mainstream ideas is BS. It's built on a foundation of shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/22 05:37 PM
2

The thing that troubles me, is, how is it that these pick up artists who work to develop these traits appear to attract so many women and are (seemingly) successful in dating? Is it that they simply manipulate women into sleeping with them and they really aren't more attractive then the next guy? It makes sense that different people are attracted to different things, but I don't understand how pickup artists seem to have sex so often. I'd really like to see what you guys think about this. If you…
/r/ExRedPill14/12/21 08:53 AM
2

Here's something that I fully believe in: being the initiator trains you to look for things you find attractive about your partner. It trains you to not to just wait for the attraction to come. Instead, you begin to look for the opportunity to find your partner attractive. One common mistake that people do, is to conflate being active with being dominant, so people feel uncomfortable trying to do it. My point with all of this, is to say that men shouldn't beg, but look for good partners that put…
/r/ExRedPill13/12/21 01:09 PM
10

Yeah, I think that there's this notion that men shouldn't need to feel desired, but be the ones that desire others. We joke about it, but everyone seems to think that we should feel grateful that someone wants to sleep with us at all and asking for more is somehow unmanly. It's dumb and and leads to so many men having shitty sex lives.
/r/ExRedPill13/12/21 06:49 AM
1

Great reply. Please don't take my reply as an attack of you or that you're acting in bad faith! I'm kinda leery when people talk about these issues like in your reply.. I'm not saying that you're doing this in bad faith, but I feel like I want to point some things out with how I think what others can read from your post. How you framed your post actually highlights the problematic elements around how we talk about mens' issues. When we want to talk about negative experiences with women or the to…
/r/ExRedPill08/12/21 01:15 PM
2

So you've talked to 28 millions of women who all gave you the same answers? And that is just the cost to fly with. Generalizing is bad, and women aren't a monolith. There's enough good women out there, you just have to find them. But that doesn't mean that we can't see trends and patterns of behavior in certain populations. People that are exposed to the same social pressures, material conditions, environments and personal upbringing will often come out sharing similar ideas and behaviors. We're…
/r/ExRedPill03/12/21 08:33 PM
3

OK. Your audience are people in places like incelexit, right? Most of them want to get out of the incel community. With that in mind: What groundwork are you trying to set, and for what reason? Look at it from their perspective, it sounds like you're trying to sabotage peoples efforts to detox themselves from incel ideology. Look at the totality of your posts, what would people that aren't mind readers think your motive is? Once again, I haven't looked at any of your posts, so I can't give you s…
/r/ExRedPill03/12/21 02:39 PM
3

Are you listening to their reasons as to why they think like they do, or are you coming of as combative and not wanting to engage in a discussion at all? ​ Their response overwhelmingly is that they dont and that men and women are on the same playing field, which sounds more like gaslighting more than an actual opinion. Using the term gaslighting sounds incredibly dismissive and sounds like you're there for the soapbox and not to actually talk to people. That might not be what you set out to do,…
/r/ExRedPill03/12/21 02:17 PM
2

I dunno, I haven't read your posts. You should try reading your older posts and try to see them from an outsiders perspective. What over arching messages, in your text, could they find?
/r/ExRedPill03/12/21 01:51 PM
7

IMO, the problem isn't with what's discussed, but with how all of it is framed. Terms like "high value", something that's a red flag for me to stay away from the person casually using it, kinda hinders productive discourse from occurring.
/r/ExRedPill03/12/21 01:46 PM
5

Could it be about how you're saying it and what you're implying with your statements? Or rather, what others read from your posts?
/r/ExRedPill03/12/21 01:36 PM
1

Well, as this is more of a introspective exercise, I feel like the percentage thing isn't really that big of a deal; but I might be wrong here. Yeah, I'll sleep on it and see if I can find a good reason for keeping it in.
/r/ExRedPill20/09/21 08:13 PM
1

Here, I'll give a hypothetical answer to the OP question for you to analyze: - What %: 17% of men would remain single despite their best efforts. - Why: Because 10% of men are self destructive and their best efforts go backwards, and 5% of men live in places where there are too many men & not enough women, and 2% fudge factor because.. im.. pilled..? I can't imagine any answer anyone could give you on this that would be particularly useful for what you're actually trying to find out. Do you feel…
/r/ExRedPill20/09/21 08:07 PM
1

I agree that the question is better without the "in this ideal society" bit.
/r/ExRedPill20/09/21 07:58 PM
2

Hmm, I think that I need to add another aspect to the question. Do you think that also asking what societal forces gave rise to the manosphere, in the first place, would be a good idea?
/r/ExRedPill20/09/21 06:11 PM
2

But again, with all due respect, conservatism and feminism (for a lack of a better term) do not really go hand-in-hand (which is not to say that the left is any better, btw). Aren't there feminist women that like being "traditionally" feminine and like men that are traditionally "masculine"? It's more about them wanting to make these things being as non toxic possible.
/r/ExRedPill23/08/21 05:24 AM
2

I don't have time to fully respond to your post, but I don't have much to disagree with you. I think that we kinda misunderstood what the other meant. I don't want these spaces to be hateful. I just think that there's not places where men can talk about what standards they should reasonable(as you stated) set. I think that a big problem is that the dynamic of men being the ones to constantly escalate and approach have made a lot of them lower their standards and their boundaries in what they sho…
/r/ExRedPill23/08/21 05:21 AM
1

I'm a borderline gender abolitionist and am a socdem with sympathies to market socialism. I know that there are people that want to talk about their experiences about being a man, but are spooked by places like menslib. I want this movement to build, but then everyone needs to be OK to leave certain topics at the door. Ultimately, if the beliefs you hold in regards to left/right aren't pertinent to the issues you seek someone to talk to, don't you think you can compromise a bit? I'm fine with co…
/r/ExRedPill23/08/21 05:12 AM
5

What's wrong with menslib? Absolutely nothing. It leans very left and some people might not be comfortable with how certain topics are talked about.
/r/ExRedPill22/08/21 07:32 PM
2

Men aren't a monolith, a lot of them aren't left wing and have old fashioned views. That doesn't mean that they're in the manosphere or follow red pill ideology. We shouldn't gate keep men that might have differing opinions to us.
/r/ExRedPill22/08/21 07:30 PM
2

You are reading a lot of shit into my posts that I've never really said. No amount of 'advice' or 'tips and tricks' or 'communication' or the degree of your insight into 'female nature' will help you to have a successful relationship with somebody who doesn't want to be with you. I never brought up women's "nature". This is not about men vs women and who is worse. Never compared the genders. There are so many variables in each and every relationship that it's truly impossible to sketch out some …
/r/ExRedPill22/08/21 07:23 PM
2

Look at my response to u/Aggressive-Complex79, down below. That's what I'm trying to talk about. ​ If you frame your issue as 'problems that men have while dating' you are bound to run into TRP guys, because this framing implies that those 'problems' are caused by women. ​ I'm not trying to start a fight or play a gotcha, but do think it's possible that some problems could be caused by women? This is a genuine question, because I can freely admit that there are problems that men contribute most …
/r/ExRedPill22/08/21 06:01 PM
5

I'm unsure who you're talking to, I'll respond like you're talking to me directly. If the "you" you're referring to is just guys in general, then I'm not actually looking for a fight. ​ Does it ever cross your mind to get woman's perspective when it comes to dating? ​ It depends on what you're talking about and what kind of role you play in the discussion. Here is an example(AN EXAMPLE! Don't focus on it specifically): A lot of women want men to be more emotionally available and not be so afraid…
/r/ExRedPill22/08/21 05:58 PM
14

Truth. Either that or their brand of self improvement, where the goal is to get or get back at women. Hell, even the MGTOW community is basically just about women as well.
/r/ExRedPill22/08/21 04:22 PM
1

Before you go off, I know that men do this too in certain aspects. So I'm not blaming you for feeling defensive about this. But in matters of relationships and what men and women should and shouldn't think about their standards, women really do overreach. You really do try to tell men what we should and shouldn't want in our mate. You can point at the Manosphere as much as you want. But they're not the mainstream. What is mainstream are that men not being satisfied with what a woman brings to th…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 01:52 PM
1

You know the story of the husband and wife shops? No, can't say that I have. ​ Gee, we don't uplift women even more in this day and age. What next a parade every morning? "Most of you are pretty shit, be like this one, you fucking losers" is a parade?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 10:54 AM
0

It really isn't... There are women that have their shit together and are decent. The problem is that we don't celebrate them, lift them up and point out to other women that this is what we're looking for.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 10:47 AM
1

This feels like some whataboutism. I'm sure that men do it, unsure what specifically men do as well, I never stated otherwise. Men, due to various circumstances can be over represented in one kind of shitty behavior. Women can be over represented in another. This seems to be a non controversial take. Unless your problem is that I'm talking about women specifically?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 10:45 AM
1

Violence, unless for self defense, is usually a bad idea and doesn't lead to anything productive. Confronting them is fine, just don't escalate it to that level. ​ plus that society cheers it on when women do the same thing. This is one thing that's toxic as fuck. It doesn't matter who's doing it, it's bad. Having said that, it doesn't matter who's doing it, people should be able to use violence for self defense against them as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 10:35 AM
4

This isn’t a gendered issue. most people do not give a crap about other peoples problems unless they have a very deep connection with them. You can’t be vulnerable with just any and everybody. The point is that women seem to not want to do it even when they're in a relationship. That's the issue here. That there are so many women that are like this that you can't claim that it's just a couple of them, it's endemic with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 10:30 AM
2

They don't, regarding their spouse/partner, most men have a simple belief: Someone he gets along with, who'll satisfy his needs and not harm him. The rest is just icing. That IS having low standards. Those are, like, the ground floor.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 10:27 AM
6

A LOT of women don't want men to show vulnerability at all, unless it's the kind that's romantic and photogenic, yes. His emotions is for her to consume and it's about how she feels about how the man performs his vulnerability. If he performs it wrongly, she'll make it about her. You might not believe me, but there are a LOT of women that are like this, even in the most progressive of spaces.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 10:26 AM
1

Do you think that men are raised to have sexist beliefs? If yes, don't you think that women could have been raised with some sexist beliefs for men? If yes, do you think that they're a large enough percentage of the women men meet, that it affects how men interact and think of women in general?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 10:20 AM
1

We'll agree to disagree then. We don't need to argue about whether patriarchy exists or not, the situation is sub par without someone believing in it. Edit: I hope that I didn't come of as too aggressive here. English is my third language and I was slightly in a hurry, when I responded to your previous post.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 08:31 AM
2

Sure. But I think that it's implied that we're talking about if someone is a catch, for a mortal human being. That they have some warts is assumed.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 08:00 AM
2

Depends on your perspective. Do you think that a catch is someone that is loved by everyone or do you think that people like different things and some people will see you as a catch.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 07:54 AM
1

I think I'm a good person, but I'm not sure that I'm a good catch. It depends on one's preferences Yeah, this question seems to be a test of how good your self esteem is and how healthy your views are about how humans interact with each other. You can up the probability of finding someone, but at the end of the day, you display what you got and it's up to others to decide if they like what they see. It's about if you believe that you can be a good catch to the ones that chose you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 07:49 AM
2

I honestly don't give a shit if it's nature or nurture. All of us have bodily functions, that doesn't mean that we shit and piss our pants. We have found ways to do these things in as sanitary and positive, turning the waste into manure or fuel, possible. Just because you have various urges, you find ways to express them in a healthy possible. Some call our species Home Sapient Sapient, because we both think and are aware that we think. We can walk and chew gum at the same time. Women, in this p…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 07:36 AM
2

Feminine or masculine isn't really what I'm talking about, because before all of that, we're both humans and pain and emotions are human traits. It's on this level, the fundamental level, where women are sub-par. After that, there are probably ways for men to show vulnerability in some masculine ways, but women can't handle the very idea of men having emotions in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 07:29 AM
2

I don't think that we really disagree here. Women that are fit for short term relationships won't get very close to me, we will always keep it casual. If she wants to take it further, she has to prove to me that she's worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 07:25 AM
2

Traditional gender norms? Is that a more PC phrasing?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 07:21 AM
1

I think that the best thing men can do is to stop obsessing over what way she'll be punished for her behaviors. The thing you should focus on is to try to weed her out of her life and warn your friends about her. Let her live the life that she'll get, as long as it's far away from you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 07:03 AM
1

Ahh Ok, I agree with you. I meant what society expects them to bring to the relationship. They don't need to put much effort into being a particularly good partner, someone that makes the man enthusiastic about being with her. It's the mans job to push himself into finding traits that he should like about her. Otherwise he doesn't "appreciate" her.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 06:55 AM
3

What traits do you possess that make you a lucky catch for a relationship? Do you consider yourself to be a good catch, in that your partner would feel like the luckiest person in the world to have you? I love knowing that I'm the one that is giving my partner pleasure, so I really like to make sure that they orgasm. I'm pretty OK built. 6 foot 4.77 in height(I dunno how you measure this, I just typed "195 cm in inches"), pretty slim. I'm pretty active in all sorts of stuff, from standard nerd s…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 06:49 AM
1

Yeah, no, not really. What, exactly, are you disagreeing with?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 06:37 AM
2

We had normal ones, but had to lower them substantially so they would at least seem to women to be reachable. What seems to have happened, at least it seems so to me, is IRL and online chicks as a whole (but not individually), seem to have just buried their heads up their ass deeper. There's something to this saying that I'm about to misquote: Men needs to come as their best self, but for women it's enough for them to just show up. Having said that, women do invest in trying to look feminine. It…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 06:31 AM
2

In a completely different context. Men were emotional about beauty, but damn sure were not emotional about their feelz. Men were often emotional about artwork for example and it was seen a cool. But, even then, the man who got emotional because his boss humiliated him was seen as a weak man. I think that it's more in how they did it. I think that there were ways, a way to emote and express themselves, that were both masculine and flexible enough for us to really bitch about the small stuff. It's…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 06:17 AM
8

While I agree, I think that society/women have punished men when they try to be intimate in different ways. The quotes from bell hooks is probably what most men have experienced, when they've tried to open up to their women friends - both platonic and romantic. To be fair, we men are bad at opening up to each other as well. I think that there's a slight difference here, because women view male vulnerability as a fetish. A lot of them want men to open up almost exclusively for their own pleasure.…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 06:12 AM
2

You realize those are biological responses, correct? This has changed over time. Strong outbursts was seen as very manly, in some cultures. I think that the Romans and the Greeks believed that women where emotionless and cold, therefore only fit to be in the kitchen, while men where the passionate and emotional ones. The heroes, explorers, etc. The only gender that actually felt something. The only gender that could love, laugh and feel genuine deep friendships. This shit is kinda arbitrary. You…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 05:55 AM
4

The topic was about men having too low standards, I just used male vulnerability as an example. Re-reading my post I can see that this might have been a bit unclear. I apologize.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 05:48 AM
3

This has not been my experience, especially when we're talking about trying to get some relationship going.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 03:17 AM
6

I'm gonna be honest with you, I get the that a lot of men are so used to these things that they believe that quality is a unicorn. This is even true when I see men look for long term relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 02:56 AM
1

If you’re dating for a relationship, not casual sex, whether you meet IRL or on OLD, what is your ideal (or even typical) date? Time of day? Type of establishment? Activity? Length of time? Conversation topics? Who should pay given whatever parameters you lay out? Is there a dollar amount considered too high for a first date? Hmm, I don't really have "styles" of dates, where one is for flings and another is for long term relationships. I'm there to find out what kind of relationship the person i…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 04:14 PM
2

I never tried any of these apps, but I did good on ordinary dating sites. Dunno if that means that I would be considered conventionally attractive. I think I can take a good photo and write an OK intro at the very least. One thing about these apps, it seems to be heavily dependent on where you look, not who you look for. I'm not just talking about the geographical place, but what sub-culture you select from. I dunno if women are more shallow. I'm not a red piller but women, in my experience, see…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 07:48 AM
1

Guy 2. Only because he seems to live his life on his terms and isn't obsessing over dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 07:15 AM
3

You're allowed to not like it. But no artistic value? Come on!!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 10:07 PM
1

That's valid. This is why I make it clear that she's paying for her own shit. The worst that can happen then is me having a good meal and some table side entertainment.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 09:54 PM
1

I always make her pay for her own meal, so that's never an issue, IMO. It's just so alien for me to go out with someone and act like that, so I try to figure them out in as an entertaining way possible. Harmless fun, really. I figure that if she's OK with causing others discomfort by shitty behavior, then she's signaling to me that she can take it as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 09:42 PM
3

this happens to women too though, so i don’t see how this is really a gendered thing. there’s proof all over this sub (and on other social medias, especially twitter) of women setting a standard or talking about their preferences, and men doing exactly what you say women are doing to you (i’ve experienced it myself several times). that, or they shame us; and i know men have also complained of women shaming them for having preferences. men and women do this to each other. While I agree that both …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 09:25 PM
12

It's not childish, but it is shallow entertainment. Most of these have no artistic value and an equivalent to a guy watching anime would be a woman reading romance novels. What?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 08:58 PM
1

Any examples on this one? I can probably guess, but there's..... better ways to word things here. E.g. "I want to have a partner who is compatible with my lifestyle". ​ At the top of my head: Men should be more open with their feelings especially to their partners. I agree with this, we should really work on that. The problem is that we're super quick to bring up words fragility and insecurity, without really talking about that the man might just generally not trust the woman with that level of …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 08:52 PM
12

The few times that happened to me I asked something outrageous, just to amuse myself with her reaction. "Ever fantasized about fucking a clown?" "You ordered calamari, a tentacle hentai kind of girl, eh?" Sometimes, this had led to us fucking.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 07:09 PM
4

My criticism of the dating scene is that there are too many men willing to “future fake” in order to get a steady supply of sex. The amount of women who want to be your “placeholder” girlfriend is 0. The amount of women who want to be tricked into a FWB situation by you saying, “well, I’m not ready for a relationship yet. When I am I will let you know” is 0. I think that everyone should be upfront with their desires and not try to trick anyone, I'm sure that there's a lot of guys that do stuff l…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 07:05 PM
2

Why do you feel this way? Like honestly, I am just curious, because I've never seen having boundaries be characterized as insecure. Could it be how it's being expressed that puts people off? It depends on the boundaries, I think? As a guy, I've felt that I've not been allowed to express boundaries around certain topics, no matter how I go about it, without being called insecure in some way. ​ I can't personally speak to your experience, but this has never been much of an issue to me. How much of…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 06:30 PM
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