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No-Engineering-9414 Archive

View 2 posts and 32 comments by No-Engineering-9414 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

No-Engineering-9414/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 11:51 PM
3

No-Engineering-9414/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 03:10 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Wow. My next tattoo there at the end…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 12:46 AM
1

I had the exact same issues in my marriage of 10 years. Everytime I tried talking about budgeting she’d flip out. Prepare for the absolute worst and have reasonable but hopeful expectations. My ex wife filed and asked for way more than her attorneys told her to. That only means it was all dragged out in court for a couple years and I spent way more on her and my attorneys that she could have pocketed in the end. Financially nothing made sense in my marriage and the divorce was that x20.. Good lu…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 10:13 PM
1

The hardest part for me—and seeing others go through it—is attempting to mourn while stbx seems stoic and unemotional. This is only because they’ve had an often 12 month head start.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 03:41 PM
2

I don’t think people recognize the last sentence of your post. They are usually 10 steps ahead—legally, emotionally, relationally.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 02:59 PM
4

I’m going through phases of being content and appreciating that’s the misery is over… and then I get sucked back into her games. Last week she was talking my ear off. This week I get random and late responses to my texts about the kids. I think it’s just my own loneliness playing games in my head.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 08:14 AM
3

How long has it been since you got divorced?
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 10:18 PM
6

Dang it that’s the precedence set today mostly by women. That’s hard to hear though because it’s certainly what she did in my case. That was never the litmus test for divorce 75 years ago. You stayed in to see the view from the next hilltop.. but I guess that’s where we’re at. Not like we can fight back in anyway. If they want out based off emotions then they’re out.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 07:21 AM
13

Don’t ignore red flags. I look back at my entire marriage and it’s like an old school runway!
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 07:16 AM
2

I lost a seven figure business when she filed and went after me financially aggressively. Then she continued publically on fb and it cost me not only embarrassment but networks and relationships id spent years developing and fostering. In court I was justified and her claims found to be baseless but not as easy with people irl that see rumors flying around. So I feel for you. I’m starting over completely at 43, with four kids that I don’t even see because I know she’s disparaged me with them. Ev…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 03:01 AM
1

Read the island theory. Its just a short excerpt of a book that helped me through divorce one day at a time.. I keep coming back to this…. https://www.traverboehm.com/island-theory-heartbreak/
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 08:30 PM
2

You’re absolutely right. Let that wash over you and know that you are absolutely right. The question is now what? Do you want to be the guy that keeps saying this to people in two more years or the one that has taken all that pain and grown with it constructively. I’m not trying to be harsh because I’d bet from your insinuations that we’ve lost much of the same and suffered both her manipulations of the truth and systems many faults. But man to man, after two years, you still sound freshly hurt …
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 08:25 PM
4

Knowledge. That’s how I handled it. I sought help and found a couple of great communities for struggling men in my same situation. Then one day I saw a video on YouTube that put it all in perspective. My ex had a 6 month to year long head start in the grieving process. Only she did hers in hiding and with her own circles of friends and therapists. I found out that she had put a retainer down one year prior to initiating divorce. I don’t know how I missed that. So when I started grieving she’s on…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 07:59 PM
9

Phil Collins -- I dont care anymore... https://youtu.be/uEWXasXgCDg?si=Uo6QyFboyn-vRYMk
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 03:09 PM
1

After about 14 months of legal proceedings I am slowly going back and seeing all of the red flags with my ex that I ignored. She’s not a stable person, she was not someone to start a family with. She’d lose an argument and pivot to anything she could win. Try having that was a wife for 12 years. It’s a doomed endeavor and I’m all the more stupid and broke for trying…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 10:30 PM
5

The system preys on women’s emotions tbh. They take the bait to be empowered through the legal system but the players benefit more from using them. Vile is the perfect word. I have zero respect for attorneys at this point in my life.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 10:33 PM
4

U HAVE NO IDEA!!! I finally told my attorney (both on our 2nd) to cease billing me hours. I spent 5k last month and talked to ex. She said she hadn’t been able to get her own attorney on the phone or to return emails for 2 months. Meanwhile he’s filing motions on her behalf costing us both money. The legal system is a joke all around. Don’t even get me started on the judges I’ve been in front of.. I have no idea why they don’t assign one judge to one case so you’re not constantly in front of a r…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 10:31 PM
4

Eesh… easily 85k in legal costs which is dumb because I’d rather she kept it amicable and she would have that money instead of flushing it down the drain. Then the house 350k. Then the business that was yielding 250k per year. She “didn’t want any part of the business” but in her initial decree I would’ve been enslaved to said business giving up 60% of the profits. At 60-80 hours per week on average at the time, it was like taking my own offspring to slaughter. That hurt more than anything… bein…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 10:13 PM
2

And women have a runway of 6-12 months prior to process which makes for a grieving groom met by a seemingly cold hearted spouse. I know the why but damn it’s brutal.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 08:39 PM
2

Find a group of men in similar situations whether they are currently going through it or have in the past. These are the places to talk things out and with other people just act stoic in the least. That prevents drain on your loved ones and gives you insight from others in similar situations. Otherwise, in my experience, you open yourself up to mindless advice that may not likely be helpful or applicable. I found Rachael Sloan on YouTube and joined her community. It was awesome and fostered grea…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 07:38 PM
2

I have a golden nugget here that I saved yesterday for just this thought that we have in common… 60 second video on different perspectives: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/b3UbzqneDnE
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 04:26 PM
6

I’ve learned that my own disruption in peace is normally tied to times that I set expectation [on others or outcomes]. This has changed my life 💯
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 09:02 PM
5

You’re extremely lucky! I’m happy for you. My ex agreed to amicable and then hired an attorney with claws. Since then she’s been untitled and unreasonable. Jokes on her. I’m going to the poor house paying over 100k in attorneys fees between mine and having been court ordered to pay hers. If she were smart she’d realize that money could be going to her. Fucking legal process is a joke at its worst—they all saw her coming from a mile away and she’s dubious to it all. I wasn’t always this way but I…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 10:30 PM
3

👏
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 10:26 PM
1

I was orders to pay attorneys fees covering the accrued costs related to the hearings on two occasions.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 10:54 PM
1

Thanks! And it’s funny you say that. I guess she had a falling out with her attorney about a month and a half ago. I was reviewing my attorneys invoices from last month and they went up. Paid about 4k. I knew there were motions filed from opposing counsel but that seemed higher for times of relative peace. I texted my ex to say that I could be giving her some of this money if she’d work with me to get to a reasonable final decree. That’s when she said she hadn’t talked to him in 6 weeks. He does…
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 01:28 AM
1

I’m just so nervous about initiating a trial. We had an objective judge the second go around although my ex made sure to take the digs at me through her attorney and when she was called it was an Oscar worthy performance of tears. The first hearing was the worst day of my life. She accused me of EVERYTHING and the judge sat there eating it up for hours. She treated my attorney with attitude and disrespect and ultimately ended up ordering me to continue to pay for everything ny ex had asked for i…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 08:47 PM
1

I was married for going on 11 years with four kiddos. I feel for you. I really do. 12 months later, still not divorced. Bulked up a little, waist slimmed. Exercise consistently. I read nice guys finish last. That was a few aha moments all at once for me. I used to live and die by her moods—and they weren’t always moving up or down because of me. To some extent that codependency is going to be present in ltr’s but once I realized what I was doing and to what extent, it was liberating. She’d conta…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 10:19 PM
2

Yeah I just contacted the firm representing me. I supposed you’re right. I’ve been to court twice. Both times were just lies on top of lies and her crying and getting empathy from the judge and both charades cost me about 20k each time in addition to monthly support. I really really don’t want to set the trial date. But it’s probably the only way for this to happen. I really really have no respect for her attorney so it’s hard to sit there answering questions from him as he tries to demean me.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 06:33 PM
1

While I don’t agree with seeing them as the enemy necessarily there are certain cases where this is good advice. Letting go of who you remember is excellent advice. It’s in the past. Move on. You are dealing with a different person now.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 06:25 PM
2

I’m 43 but I like your post so here goes. Post divorce I challenge myself to walk into rooms and situations that I feel passion for. I like to hike now that I have more time. So I go on meetups often as one source of hiking friends or companions. I wanted to get back to being comfortable at public speaking so I’m attending a toastmasters group. I attend regular tech workshops and started groups. Explore your interests. Become more well rounded in doing so. And if the right person is also there, …
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 05:47 PM
1

Lmao I appreciate that sentiment and can totally relate. But are we all pledging celibacy for the rest of our lives then? lol
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 05:40 PM
2

I found enjoyment in exercise again like I did as a kid. No strict diet for me, no weekly workout or lifting regimen. I listen to my body on what feels ready to be pushed in the gym and I spend a lot of time outside again. My thought was that discipline typically fades. The 70 year old marines in the gym sometimes are still lean and mean, often they are not. So I wanted to throw discipline out the window as the lynch pin for my health. Instead I play. I do at least 35 miles per week because I lo…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 03:27 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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