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No_Analyst_9131 Archive

View 0 posts and 55 comments by No_Analyst_9131 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

My dude, get out and run as fast as possible from that dumpster fire of a situation. I have a kid myself, and would never date a woman that also has a kid, let alone multiple from different fathers. Take the L, and go full nuclear no contact with this bitch and move on with life in SE Asia for a few years.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 06:59 PM
2

I tried dipping my toes into dating after only a few months post divorce, and (thankfully) it was all terrible. I was hyper aware of all the faults/negative aspects of the women I was seeing, and also didn't enjoy sex at all. I stopped and started working on myself again, and wouldn't you know it, I started feeling much better about things and even started getting my sex drive back. Ironically, I now have lots of women throwing themselves at me (seriously, I have never had this much attention in…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 01:54 PM
2

It might be a younger generation thing (in my 30s) but I only have dated women that make the same or more than I do since my divorce. Alimony becomes a non existent problem when the other half is making the same money as I am, and it also reduces that big income gap that fucks over men who let their wives be SAHM (I would never support or allow this, nor would I want to even be with someone who wants to be a SAHM; its a huge red flag for me and should be for any man) Of course the best way to pr…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 04:01 PM
3

Reading this basically screams that you are absolutely NOT ready to be in any kind of relationship. My first question to OP is: have you done any of the work required before jumping into another relationship? I have spent the past year doing daily self reflection, as well as some pretty intense therapy, and still don't quite feel 100% trusting of myself to be in a relationship right now. Divorces don't happen in a vacuum, there is something that both sides do that causes a marriage to fracture t…
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 01:39 PM
2

The key thing is that *you* know that she hasn't done the work needed to be with another person; she clearly doesn't have the self awareness to realize that there should be a period of working on yourself after leaving any relationship. I literally was not in a mental state to even *want* to date someone for over a year, and I also dropped any woman that gave off red flags, had unresolved mental issues, or if I simply didn't feel any connection when I did start dating. Just keep doing your own w…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 02:40 PM
2

100% the STBX knows what she did, and is trying to use OP as her wallet. I can only hope he realizes his two kids should be his *only* priority, and that he needs to get this absolute trashy leech of a woman out of his life. I literally cannot imagine any valid reason any man would want to keep another man's child (especially ones born during the time he was married). Fight for the two kids that are his, and run as far away as possible from this woman and the other two kids.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 12:46 PM
11

I absolutely would not be paying for another man's kid, especially since *your* STBX had two of them outside of your marriage. I would focus your energy and money on getting full custody of your two kids that you (hopefully) know are yours. You have nothing to gain and nothing to prove by paying and taking care of another man's child; focus on your kids only.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 07:23 PM
5

Thankfully the state I live in doesn't have common law, but I am still of the opinion of I don't want to give any woman even the remotest chance of having a say over my money, my time and what I can/can't do. I got lucky having a ex-wife that just wanted to get the divorce done and over with, but got unlucky having a kid with a lazy ass freeloader who uses my daughter as her easy paycheck (two separate women, its a long story lol) After reading some of the nightmare stories in this subreddit, I …
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 06:07 PM
2

After being absolutely screwed over with CS by a lazy ass freeloader (wasn't married in that case, so no ailimony, thank god) I only will consider being with a woman if she makes at least the same as I do. I honestly don't want to be married again, and after seeing that a lot of women start making money a part of the relationship "deal" once you get locked into a relationship, I really don't even want a defined relationship. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want without considering another p…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 06:01 PM
2

I can see where you are coming from OP. I didn't even want to think about dating or even talking with women for almost a solid year after my divorce; I did try dating and even with a naked woman in bed with me after our date, I had trouble even getting excited at the thought of sex. That being said, at some point you will probably at least want sex or even just physical touch, I recommend just letting yourself let you know when you are comfortable doing anything and not forcing yourself to. Also…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 03:07 PM
1

I do the same: use a condom until I see her STD test results and have showed her mine as well. I just use the super thin condoms and after 2 minutes I don't even notice a difference, and I can rest easy knowing she isn't going to baby trap me (already had it once, I am not stupid enough to have it happen twice)
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 03:02 PM
1

I have been enjoying both older and younger women, and damn, it is fun! Older women appreciate that I have my shit together and am not some overweight, middle aged slob, while the younger women appreciate an older guy that has his shit together and isn't insecure like so many 20-something men seem to be these days. I bought a 36 pack of condoms and I shit you not, went through it in a week. I also had a decently attractive bartender hitting on me a few weeks ago, and that never happened when I w…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 12:14 AM
2

You would think so, but states only care about extracting money from one of the parents, and the child is not the actual one getting what they need, which is parents love. This whole thing has basically turned me off from the idea of having more kids, since women get all the power and can and do abuse CS system for their own financial gain.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 01:34 PM
3

Somewhat this. At least in Delaware (where my CS is paid to) they give a "discount" by reducing the amount the mother is responsible for by 30% for each child she takes care of. So they only count 70% of her income (which is really low anyways, by her design) when they do the CS calculation. Very shitty and underhanded, but she figured out how to work the CS system for her monetary advantage with no extra work other than popping out another kid.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 08:28 PM
5

We can only wish. Too late to really affect me (only have six years left and I am counting every damn day) and my daughter's mom keeps popping out kids and running to the court to get more money from me (which is beyond fucked up that they increase my CS when she is the one popping out babies with another man)
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 06:53 PM
3

I don't see any Florida or Kentucky CS calculator that makes CS income independent. In all actuality, all CS should be is the *actual* cost of your kid (food, clothing, school supplies, and some amount for rent) and nothing more. States basically make up shit so they can extract the maximum amount of money from the men (because every woman is presumed to be the "better" parent).
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 06:48 PM
2

Dating apps are pretty hit or miss, and honestly such a flaming dumpster fire of broken, bitter women that I have deleted them off my phone for now. I am decently attractive and have an excellent job, but only tended to match with the crazy women, or the ones who just wanted a sugar daddy, so I just stopped for my own sanity. I have just put myself on a "standby" mode in regards to dating or having an actual relationship. I have a few women that are nothing more than casual sex partners, and usi…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 03:02 PM
1

I recently wrote down the same type of list that you mentioned, and a lot of the things I wrote all came down to some variation of her being loyal and the relationship being an "us." I can also say that being attractive comes with the downside of a lot of women who do go for you, are only in it for having you as arm candy, and not for the human that you are. I don't have trouble in the looks or money department, but it isn't as great of a boon as you probably think it is.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 05:51 PM
3

It is a shitshow if all you rely on is stupid online "dating" apps. It is already known that these apps are designed in a way to get us men to pay for the ability to have infinite swipes, since it is a numbers game for us to even get a match. I have reverted to the good old fashioned way of chatting with women at places I am around them a lot (gym, other social places I am around a decent amount) and doing that has actually led to better results than any dating app. I also am beyond picky with w…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 05:47 PM
1

I am in the same boat as far as desiring a relationship, and get bummed out seeing other "happy" (50/50 on if this is true) couples out and about, but also incredibly guarded when it comes to actually wanting to open up and be in a place to build one. I have been screwed over and had my child used against me (and as an ATM for her) and my personal tolerance for the risk of any relationship going south is next to non-existent. I don't have any issues finding women to get in bed with (actually som…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 02:46 AM
2

I am in the same boat as well. I would love a deep, stable long term relationship, but just don't trust women anymore. It honestly makes me a bit jealous seeing other couples getting married and having kids, but then I also remember its literally a coin toss as to whether they will be together in a few years or not. My happy medium that I have found is that I am seeing several women at once, and they all know I don't want a serious relationship now. Having sex without the emotional strings attac…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 02:20 AM
2

Gonna second a lot of people and say gym membership. I finally got my ass in gear and now have a 5x a week gym habit. Habit because I actually get grumpy if I am not able to make it that many days during the week lol. After that, literally anything else can become a hobby. I have had a lifelong fascination with computers, so I bought a cheap Raspberry Pi kit, and absolutely love it. I also did take up scuba diving (I do realize this might be out of reach for some) but any hobby that is technical…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 01:31 PM
9

I made this very decision last year. My daughter is 11, and I am pretty sure she has figured out that I hate the absolute shit out of her mother. Walking away and hoping your kid wants to reconnect 6-7 years later is a gamble, but since I stopped trying, my own physical, mental and emotional health has improved. I also decided I am getting snipped, because even though some part of me would love to have another child, the risk to myself is just too much. (Probably for the better, this world is ab…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 01:09 PM
3

Hell, the fact that there are jobs that are WFH means no woman should get to just be a SAHM. I won't even consider a woman who doesn't make at least as much as I do, and am leery of any woman that would be willing to give up her job just to stay with a kid. With WFH jobs being a thing, no woman should be able to stay at home just "taking care of the kid." I am perfectly able to cook, clean, do my laundry, and all the domestic shit that women claim makes them staying at home "valuable," so then w…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 05:46 PM
1

You should start by getting a lawyer immediately. Yes, they are expensive, but getting reamed by back child support is more painful, so just suck it up and do it. I would have your lawyer file for CS *from your STBX* and use that as the immensely powerful leverage that becomes. NEVER, NEVER, EVER negotiate from a lower position of power. Also, keep documentation of literally everything: receipts of any money you send her (clearly marked as for CS/expenses for the kids), and even keep the receipt…
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/23 02:18 PM
1

You would have to submit it to the judge (or mediator, if you have that available) and they would be able to put that in as the agreed upon custody/CS plan. Just be prepared for your STBX to suddenly realize she wants money from you and you find yourself bent over paying for her every whim; good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 01:30 PM
2

You can't take any woman at her word, and even having it written on 20,000 sheets of paper won't do you any good if she decides she wants CS after all (she will). As mentioned below, nothing is valid until the judge signs off on it, and even that is basically a "this is what is going to happen... for now." If you change jobs and are making a lot more money, you can bet she will go running for the family court, or if she decides she wants to have kids with another guy and needs money from you to …
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 04:23 PM
0

I have thought about going the finding a woman from an impoverished country route, but am leery they would just use me for a green card and leave right after. What is keeping a woman from leaving as soon as she gets a green card?
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 04:39 PM
3

I just tell them exactly the same shit they look up on me. Go ahead and accuse me of a double standard, I would just tell her that due diligence works both ways. Has also saved me a lot of headaches, since women are even more dicey about negative shit they want to keep hidden. Oh you had a bankruptcy? Sure, I am certain you really do like me, and totally not for the money I make. Three kids by the same amount of baby daddies? Well, glad I dodged that bullet. If a woman has nothing to hide, then …
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 07:41 PM
6

Honestly, I have started doing background checks on any woman before a date. I found some doozies (one had a domestic violence charge against her, another had declared bankruptcy four years earlier, etc) and I can see why they do this. The difference is that they let it be known that they know xyz about you, and if you are smart, you don't let them know you have done the same. I also have started to come to the realization that a lot of women in my age range (30s) are either looking for another …
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 03:25 PM
2

Then too bad, so sad. There is no excuse for not being able to look something up on Google or finding a YouTube video on how to do it. She gets the house, she can deal with the smart devices on her own. Reset everything, and tell her to have at it. Do make sure that anything that is possibly connected to your bank account or credit card (Amazon or Apple accounts) are removed and then let her sink or swim and figure things out.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 06:50 PM
3

I have replied to your same question in another thread, but I will elaborate here. First of all, you are in your 20s, and quite literally no one has actually had enough life experiences to want to settle down at that age. If you are seeking to get married, I highly suggest putting that on pause and just enjoying everything. Travel, go do all the crazy shit that you want to do, and get it out of your system. I made the mistake of marrying in my mid 20s and am now in my 30s doing all the stuff I d…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 06:34 PM
2

Mid 20s women are entirely different than women in their 30s or older. Pretty much everyone in their 20s is basically a teenager with a bit more money and freedom; even a woman that is career focused in her 20s isn't really the type to settle down or even want a relationship more than FWB level. I have found that women mid 30s or older are already settled into their career and have pretty much figured out if they want kids or not. They also have much better knowledge of what they like and don't …
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 05:23 PM
1

The other thing OP can do is start an LLC doing something that is service related: accounting, consulting, etc. Obviously this is career and skills related, but the idea is that by selling a service that only you are providing, you make the business entity useless without yourself. Judges aren't going to bother splitting a business entity that has no hard or cash assets, so that is a way to protect yourself if you have your own business.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 12:52 AM
3

An additional bonus is that you aren't spending money buying them expensive shit like purses (they have their own money) and like to travel. Makes it easy to split costs or if you get really lucky, she will help cover certain things. I am seeing one woman right now that wants to take up scuba diving with me, so is paying to take classes and then paying for me to dive with her the day after. I also have a lot of women my age that go to my gym, and not only are a lot of them career focused and not…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 12:48 AM
3

I only seek women that make as much or more than I do. Takes away some of the having to worry about if she is only after my money (or ability to make lots of it) but doesn't completely remove it. A bonus of a woman that is more career focused is they generally don't want kids, so also reduces the chance of getting bent over paying CS. When I came to the realization that men can and are treated like piggy banks for women in a divorce, I realized that the best way to get around that is having her …
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 10:56 PM
2

Any man who wants his wife to be a SAHM is just asking to get raped over the coals after the inevitable divorce. Women want equality? Fine, get a job and lets both enjoy the gobs of money we both are bringing in. It blows my mind seeing men in here acting completely shocked that their STBX wants the moon after given the opportunity to contribute absolutely nothing the entire marriage. Being a SAHM should no longer be considered when women ask for alimony, it is too easy to abuse it and still end…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 05:14 PM
8

Why are you even considering letting her get anything? You START from a position of power and ask for everything; she is the one that had the affair and you also filed first. My lawyer was great and taught me that you absolutely have to ask for everything up front, and then if you want to keep the peace, you can negotiate things. Women will absolutely rake you over the coals, so do the same for her. Also, absolutely ask for full custody of your kids, you DO NOT want to be on the hook for CS. Fin…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 07:41 PM
3

I have been amazed at how uninhibited sex becomes when you take having to worry about having a kid out of the picture. Not to mention, women in their 40s really do have a higher sex drive than women in their 20s, or even 30s.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 07:04 PM
6

This is why I am not even considering so much as talking to any woman who isn't established and making at least as much as I do. Even better if she doesn't want/can't have kids, because it also takes away some worries about possible baby trapping. I got off easy with my divorce (no house, didn't have kids, and no marital assets) and sure as hell am not going to give any woman a way to "entitle" herself to anything out of my pocket. I am 32, and have found the best women to date/FWB with are in t…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 05:48 PM
9

I am 32 and the younger side of the dating pool is even worse. It is either desparate women who haven't trap.. er, married yet, or ones who are already divorced and with kid(s). It is the ones with kids that are worse, since they have already been through the Family Court system that cheers them on to extract every last drop from a man, and then they also tend to want to try for another baby soon after starting dating. I am always upfront that I only am looking for a FWB situation, but things in…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 03:43 AM
2

Its not hard to get laid, pump and dump is the way to go if you are looking to get off and go. Actually dating, as in going on a date and getting to know a woman while developing a relationship... that is the part that is a shitshow. I literally had one chick tell me I needed to convert to Judaism (I was raised Christian) so that we could be married by next year, I had another tell me she was glad she made the choice to finally go sober(!) so she could see her three(!) kids, and several who were…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 03:26 PM
1

I am 32, live in a major city, and damn the dating scene is a shitshow. I purposely picked an apartment in a "happening" part of the city (tons of bars, restaurants, entertainment, and parks nearby as well) to get myself out and about... and haven't really found it to be worth it. Dating is a joke these days; dating apps are burning dumpster fires of women who either want a sugar daddy, someone to make OF "content," or are desparate due to their friends getting married and having children. I hav…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 03:13 PM
7

I am to the point to where I won't even talk to a woman unless she makes the same/more than I do. Women want gender equality? Cool, make at least as much as I do before I will even talk to you. It also eliminates any chance they could ask for alimony, and since I don't want children (also snipped as backup) there won't ever be a chance to baby trap me. Seeing women getting away with being a SAHM and contributing absolutely nothing and then getting everything during a divorce has shown me that an…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 02:16 PM
1

I have been having the same feelings, but realize part of it is due to my upbringing. I make 6 figures a year and was called out by a friend for being too "stingy." I brought it up with my therapist and it ended up leading to the personal discovery that my upbringing in a lower income family led to me viewing money as something to be hoarded. Granted, I am not a massive spender anyways, but getting over the guilty feeling for buying myself something nice is something I have learned to do. As lon…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 03:21 PM
2

Get a new account for yourself and change all your income to that account only. I shouldn't have to say it again, but stop paying her child support bill for her, FULL STOP. I have no idea why anyone would ever pay someone else's child support, even if you "love" them. The first attorney is representing your STBX, it doesn't matter what she says, get your own account and have your paycheck 100% go there. The only thing YOU need to pay for is your house, and utilities along with your bills. You wi…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 07:44 PM
3

I am going to echo what a lot of people here say: stop being a "nice guy" and start playing dirty. There is no reason for you to be paying child support for her previous kid, stop this as of yesterday. Make sure any automatic payments that were set up from your accounts are stopped, and tell her that you are no longer paying her child support bills. Next, immediately file to get everything for yourself, house, bank accounts, assets, and full custody of your child. You DO NOT want to be on the ba…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 07:18 PM
1

I especially second her respecting what OP says and offering a genuine friendship based on respecting OPs wishes. If that is the case, then great, she can (hopefully) play a part in the healing journey. If not, then there are tons of equally hot women out there to meet at a point where OP is ready for a relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 07:28 PM
1

I gotta ask, why do you feel like you and her would immediately jump into the sack? Why isn't just starting a friendship an option? It is good you are being realistic with yourself and know that you don't want a relationship nor are in a place to be able to have one, but I don't see building a friendship with her as being precluded just because she is hot. I would suggest just talking to her as a normal human being, and keep things friendly. A lot of super hot women end up one of two ways: they …
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 07:20 PM
1

Dating apps are especially trash. I, a 32, in shape (physically, mentally, and financially) male, can only seem to get the women that are looking for divorce #2, and already have 3 kids. I'm sorry, but if you have 3 kids and are a SAHM, you have nothing of value to provide to me. The few non married and single women I have met have wayyy too high of a self value, especially in light that a lot of them seem to have 35344 things wrong with them (usually mental instability and/or depression) Until …
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/23 04:34 PM
1

If the male is expected to work, so should the woman. Women have now overtaken men when it comes to attaining college degrees, etc. There should be a baseline level of income every person is imputed to be able to make based on educational level attained. Want to be a SAHM, and have a Master's degree? Cool, you're imputed income is now based on the average salary of someone that has that educational level. Ironically, this would most likely mean that even women with high school diplomas would hav…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 05:06 PM
1

I had an amicable divorce. We sat down, each had a glass of wine (not recommended if you both get aggressive with alcohol) and basically came to the conclusion that we both would be best served just leaving with our respective retirement accounts, vehicles, etc. It was helped by the fact that we never had combined accounts, as well as the fact that we both made the same amount. Not having kids was also a saving grace, since that seems to be the most contentious part of divorces. Make sure you la…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/22 04:13 PM
10

Go lawyer up, like yesterday. Get over feeling bad for yourself, and file before she does. Make sure you are the one to get the house, and more importantly, your child. You absolutely DO NOT want to be the one on the back foot when it comes to divorce. I literally filed one day before my ex did, and ended up with each of us walking away with what was ours and nothing more (or less). (She got our dog, but that is something I can easily replace) Make sure you documented the fact she came home plas…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/22 02:02 PM
5

I have found the best way to move on is be living better than you were when you left. Three months after my divorce was finalized, I got a job offer for 50% more than what I was making, had already started the process of buying a multifamily house (one unit for me, the other to be rented out to pay the mortgage lol) and had been getting attention from women who were much hotter than my ex (no desire to do anything other than a date, this reddit has taught me that much at least). ​ I also took th…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 03:09 PM
1

I had this happen as well, though I was the stupid idiot who had the kid with her (didn't get married, thank fucking god) Long story short, my entire family (dad, all 3 siblings, and even grandma) basically ganged up against me and always took exs' side. I left because ex was too content to go nowhere with her life (still is lol) and I never have been that way. I left her and my entire family blew up at me over leaving ex and child to fend for themselves. My family finally started talking with m…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/22 06:36 PM
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