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No_Teacher_3313 Archive

View 1 posts and 1,218 comments by No_Teacher_3313 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

Fairness in educational and employment opportunities is not the same as fairness in interpersonal relationships due to the required involvement of third parties. If you are lonely, should the government force people to be your friend in order to promote fairness?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 11:31 AM
–

Jesus. You don’t read. If the embryo is teleported out of the woman, (and I’m not sure I’m okay with this because it’s still coming out of her body), then it’s just an embryo, like embryos in fertility clinics. Because it’s not in the woman, it’s not an issue of her body. Therefore the overarching value of bodily autonomy is moot. The extracted embryo is owned jointly by both the sperm and egg donors. Reproductive autonomy rules come into play here and either party can block the use of the embry…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 06:38 PM
1

Imagine what you want. You can’t go into a woman’s uterus because it’s her body. Also, reread the ordering. Reproductive autonomy comes second. The woman who wants the embryo implanted is not relevant. She has no say.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 09:45 AM
1

A procedure that damages the uterus in order to keep the embryo viable. What the pro-lifers think is 100% irrelevant. And any viable embryo follows the fertility clinic rules, which house all the viable embryo rules - both creators of the embryo have to agree to its use. So a man at any time can withdraw consent to the use of the embryo and the woman can’t use it. And vice versa. Look at the Sofia Vergara case. To sum up, if an embryo is inside a woman, it’s her call because it’s her body. Bodil…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 01:23 PM
1

A technology that goes into the woman’s uterus and cuts out the implanted embryo intact and reimplantable? Of course not.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 08:09 AM
11

One more external uterus for someone else then.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 03:32 AM
25

It would indeed be great for all the wannabe single dads, for sure. And they can experience and appreciate all the sentiment that single moms get on these subs. Lobby those politicians!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 03:24 AM
2

Because children have superseding rights. And why would the world’s men just get to go around impregnating women and leaving the women with all the financial responsibility? If they could just walk away whenever they felt like it, why even make an effort to be responsible or users condom? It’s a free pass, right? No consequences at all. All the responsibility for birth control falls on the woman because man can just walk away.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 03:20 AM
21

It’s true that men cannot choose for their bodies to have children. Do you want funding for external uteruses?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 03:02 AM
1

There is no thing as a financial abortion. No one gets one. It’s not biologically fair that women have to endure pregnancy, childbirth, and the after effects of both.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 02:10 AM
1

No. It’s not reasonable for the default response to pregnancy be abortion, unless the father agrees to pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 01:59 AM
3

You can expect the father of the child to pay for the child he created. A child is entitled to support from both parents. There is no default of getting an abortion unless the father agrees to help out.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 01:56 AM
1

No. If a child is born, the child is entitled to the support of both parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 01:54 AM
6

There is a good case for not forcing a woman to be an incubator for 9 months if she doesn’t want to be. The consent to parenthood doesn’t work the same way. You can’t reasonably force a woman to get an abortion if she doesn’t want one. You can’t reasonably expect her to pay the full cost of the child if she opts not to abort. You can’t reasonably expect the taxpayers to pick up the bill. I get that it can suck, but it’s your sperm that created the child, and you can’t expect someone else to pick…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 10:45 PM
4

No. The foundation is that consent to sex is not consent to carrying a child and going through childbirth, that your body can’t be required to be used as a vessel. It’s not related to parenthood.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 10:23 PM
1

Not from anyone I’ve ever known. I think you vastly overestimate the frequency.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 11:13 AM
6

Personally I find them horribly uncomfortable. But I love bras and know lots of women don’t, so I can only conclude that comfort is a very individual thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 01:28 AM
5

Some won’t. I loved that feature, but restricting contact to mutual matches is still a huge plus. If a woman doesn’t want to message first, she shouldn’t have chosen Bumble.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 12:31 AM
5

Being able to initiate contact gives men the illusion of power, I guess. How often does the woman respond? I would still use Bumble and I think it’s still likely that the best matches for me are there. They changed the woman-first contact policy a while ago, so I don’t know why it would continue to not fare well.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 12:13 AM
7

Hinge doesn’t. You can go through the whole stack over and over. Not so with Bumble. You hit the end and it tells you there are no more profiles to see. I’ve always preferred Bumble though. Where I am it has, or had, the highest quality of men. Hinge is all cutesy meaningless prompts. Tinder doesn’t have filters for politics or religion. They prioritize not losing money from conservatives and don’t care about compatibility..
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 11:44 PM
12

You are shown profiles from a stack one at a time. You can’t say “maybe” and you can’t come back later. I think that encourages people to swipe right even if they’re not super enthusiastic. But then you see people you like better and match with them. You can end up with a lot of matches but realistically you’re not going to be chatting with everyone. You also don’t know whether the person you’re swiping right on is actually available and active on the app. I don’t think that it’s an issue of wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 11:13 PM
4

Did the women on the thread who were downvoted say they loved their husbands for their wealth, for buying them things, for their quality sperm that made beautiful kids, and whatever else would be the equivalent? I didn’t read anything like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 06:04 PM
3

I have always wanted a man to fall in love with my intelligence, dry wit, varied knowledge, and a bunch of other things. It pisses the shit out of me that men only pay attention to what women look like. So no, it’s not that we would never accept it. Women are largely sick of how men are so overly concerned about looks and how indiscriminating they are in general. What about you? You like a woman because she has brown hair, athletic build, perky breasts, high cheekbones? Is this supposed to be me…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 05:10 PM
2

Nearly everything benefits the other person - kindness, sense of humor, intelligence, generosity, emotional awareness, interesting hobbies. A lot of this is similar to the reasons we choose our friends. It all affects the quality of our interaction. Are we supposed to love our husband because he’s got a certain color eyes or nice teeth? What kind of answer would be acceptable to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 04:55 PM
1

Exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 10:43 PM
10

Lots of men seem to believe that women don’t actually love their spouses. They’re just with them because they couldn’t land better or because the husband provides resources, validation, something. It’s mind rot.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 10:41 PM
1

You don’t feel passion and sexual interest for friends. And it’s not your tv preferences; it’s your values, interests and things that make you who you are. How interesting you are to the other person. They aren’t minor or superficial. People are vastly different. Your face and body aren’t what make you who you are. Yet men seem to only care about that. That’s depressing.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 03:02 AM
1

How is it depressing that someone develops attraction to you based on who you are as a person? It’s what a prefer.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 02:42 AM
3

Not for lots of us. Passion and attraction arise.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 11:17 AM
2

Nope. MAGA is the biggest dealbreaker.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 11:06 AM
3

No. But the lack of them will preclude or kill passion and attraction, for lots of people. So they are essential.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 11:05 AM
10

I care 100%. Extraverts exhaust me. I dislike hot weather and want someone indoorsy. If he has certain politics I’ll be repelled. The list goes on. The wrong “personality” is a recipe for misery.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 09:03 AM
25

You are complaining about how selfish and uninteresting women are, while claiming that their looks are the most important thing about them?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 08:58 AM
8

Advanced paternal age is associated with kinds of birth defects. So after 40 they are absolutely past their peak.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 09:49 PM
10

Not necessarily. Young women largely have their own careers, and aren’t looking for anyone to provide security, stability and protection for them. That’s such a paternalistic take.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 07:50 PM
8

So male bodybuilders are primarily attracted to female bodybuilders?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 01:05 AM
3

No. I’m not combative at all. I do have opinions and express them instead of saying “yes, dear” and going along with what he wants. Lots of men present that. Submissive means he makes the rules and you go along. Equal partners means compromise. Someone who wants an equal partner would never ever use the word “submissive”. Also, plenty of guys are overly opinionated and controlling. Too bad if they want peace. If they’re not helping with the peace, they don’t deserve it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 12:15 PM
33

You’re not supposed to be trying to not mess up. You’re supposed to be trying to assess whether there’s relationship potential.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 05:33 AM
14

Haha. If that’s the scenario then it’s best to be a single mom. You get your kids and don’t have to put up with a man who wants submissiveness. No contest really.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 01:20 AM
24

Single mothers don’t need to change their standards at all. If they can’t get what they want, then they just don’t get it. No one else needs to butt in and set them straight on what they think their standards should be. You don’t want to date a single mother? Then don’t. No one cares. And for the record, I’ve always found men who prefer feistiness over submission. Yes, most of us would much rather be single than submissive. Not even a contest.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 12:24 AM
5

It will have to be an indie film. A cuteish guy who is not good looking enough to generate women approaching him randomly quotes Shakespeare in the line at the grocery store. I feel compelled to reply and we hit it off. He’s a liberal atheist who fosters rescue animals in his free time. His clever use of the English language makes me swoon and I almost forget one of my bags of produce. He’s unable to find a relationship because he’s writing a book evenings after work and on weekends. He has limi…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 12:50 PM
–

But what is the benefit of dating someone you’re not attracted to? Much better to just stay single.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 12:11 PM
–

They may not be happy single, but dating a guy they’re not attracted to is only going to make them unhappier.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 12:08 PM
2

My bf has zero jealousy or insecurity about my past and it’s such an attractive quality. My attraction to him is off the charts whereas other guys have left me with an “ew” feeling because it’s not a nonissue.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 02:58 AM
33

As a divorced single mom at this point, I’m good because I have my kids and am not looking to ever cohabitate or get married again. Dating can be fun or a shitshow but it’s not in any way a priority. So I guess it depends on the woman and where she is versus where she wants to be. I’ve found men in my age range to be largely emotionally impaired and low effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 02:52 AM
4

Book club. Free.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 11:27 PM
–

My ex was the equivalent of two additional children, but feel free to think I’m lying when I say I’m happy alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 04:03 PM
1

My bf is a feminist and he is rewarded by getting to be with me. 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 07:47 PM
5

And you are free to pursue someone who has never changed, matured, evolved.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 02:23 PM
11

People don’t have universal behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 02:12 PM
10

People aren’t consistent with most things in life because they, and situations, change.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 02:09 PM
5

This is an insulting question. Should conditions that affect only men, like testicular or prostate cancer, legally qualify for workplace accommodations?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 02:38 AM
2

Nothing. I don’t care about past relationships. I hope he did everything, repeatedly, and got really good at it, so that I can reap the benefits.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 06:16 PM
8

1 in 10 ten men aren’t going to be a liberal atheist, let alone any of the other qualities I want, so I don’t easily find compatible potential partners naturally. And perhaps I would expect less if I lived in some small tribe and I would learn to be more closeted about my wants. But mercifully I don’t have to. I consider myself compatible with only a tiny percentage.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 06:52 PM
1

I filter on politics, religion, interests, spelling, actually writing a profile, and whether they don’t present as a jerk or boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 03:13 AM
1

Definitely not popularity. I’m a total introvert, like the quiet guys, and definitely don’t want to deal with popularity. He has to be okay looking but not great looking because I don’t want to deal with other women wanting his attention or even people noticing us in any particular way when we’re out. I like to fly under the radar and just be left alone. I don’t find conventionally good looking guys appealing because it seems like it would be a PITA to date them and in no way worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 04:57 PM
1

Getting to know him and finding out we have a lot in common. It’s never that he’s popular or particularly good looking. But I need to have some level of interaction with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 02:27 AM
2

But I said “potentially”.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 01:15 PM
3

It does dispute it because you specifically said that compatibility comes after attraction. I experience otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 12:50 PM
3

Not for lots of women. I am only potentially attracted to a man until I get to know more about him.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 12:39 PM
1

Because considering someone attractive and being attracted to them are two different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 12:33 PM
8

Not really pilled, but compatibility is the most important factor for many.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 03:31 AM
–

Yes. I’m not going to fake extreme interest if I’m not interested. I’m not going to lean in and gush about how interesting it is. Cues are verbal as well - word choice and enthusiasm.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 06:37 PM
21

Both. Some things I’m interested in. If I’m not, I’m not going to be rude. I’ll feign some interest to be polite. This is something I generally do with people and isn’t specific to a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 01:22 AM
1

Men are clamoring for both. I’ve not yet met up a man with no sexual interest, but they all want a partner, not hookups. Someone to spend evenings and weekends with and go on vacation with. They want to be partnered. So the issues are not lack of either interest on the part of the men. I’d say that the men are generally not appealing enough overall.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 02:03 PM
6

The issues are not a lack of interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 01:23 PM
9

Men don’t prefer women under 25. By and large they prefer peers who they can relate to. Women of all ages have no issues on dating apps. I’m an example. Tons is men don’t want a woman who is going to want them to have more children, be establishing a career when they are retiring and wanting to travel. These are huge. And people divorce all the time. Getting married young is no assurance you won’t be single again at 30. There is no “locking down” by either gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 01:14 PM
5

What do you think could be done to actually help these men? I genuinely want to know? What could I possibly say that would actually be helpful?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 09:21 AM
1

Lots of women don’t want sex daily and aren’t going to never ever reject his touch. There doesn’t have to be some super rare and severe event happening to not want sex. This doesn’t mean they’re not attracted. Good luck to this guy finding a woman who meets these reqs.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 08:33 PM
6

This could just mean that she’s got super high libido and you’re convenient in the moment. Maybe it’s about her sex dive and not about you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 02:40 AM
2

I’d say he needs to meet a basic looks threshold as a prerequisite. Then she may or may not become attracted to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 01:27 AM
1

This makes sense. Thanks. I’ve read that demisexuality is on the asexual spectrum, and that doesn’t sit right with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 04:02 PM
2

And if you feel no immediate attraction to anyone ever, look at a Calvin Klein underwear model and think “Yes he’s a 10 on society’s scale but I have zero sexual interest in him”. And it takes about 3 dates of getting to know someone to start growing attraction but you don’t need a long time or a deep emotional connection? Because I don’t need months nor a strong emotional connection. I just need to have an idea like we could be very compatible based on some amount of interaction, but more than …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 03:42 PM
10

So many guys seem to think that attraction needs to be an immediate raw primal thing or else she’s just attracted to what you provide and is settling for you. Or maybe I’ve spent too much time on r/WomenAreNotIntoMen.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 03:36 PM
20

I have used the term “semi Demi” to describe myself, when I really mean that I have zero attraction to anyone immediately, but it can grow to huge attraction over the course of a few dates. I don’t need a strong emotional connection to feel attraction, as would a true demisexual. So many guys on dating apps say that they want to meet up to see if there’s an attraction, but it doesn’t work that way for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 02:20 PM
3

More specific filters. I want to be able to filter out ENM and all political orientations other than liberal. As well as anyone who hasn’t written anything in the profile section where they write their own text. I have kids and not a lot of free time, so I want guys who aren’t okay with kids at home, or who are wanting a lot of time commitment to be able to filter me out.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 06:26 AM
3

It doesn’t matter because we are never forced to choose anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 06:33 PM
26

Bad sex eventually kills off desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 08:29 AM
–

What’s the question?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 10:24 PM
–

Not sure what that is. She’s not more attractive and was pretty overweight. I don’t view it as anything other than realizing you previously gave too much. Coupled with demanding people get more and more chill people get less, in general, in life. I went through the wringer with my ex and also put in less effort in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 04:30 PM
10

Because you disapprove of a woman who has a casual sexual encounter? Or you only approve of casual sexual encounters if you deem the guy to be of “low value”?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 08:03 AM
8

And his wife doesn’t give a shit about not having been hit on men she has no interest in. Are you able to understand that? I’m average looking and also don’t give a shit, because that’s not the kind of guy that interests me at all. I give zero fucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 07:58 AM
11

Speak it. I 100% agree. I prefer my professor partner who is very interesting to me and hot af to me. We are not all the same and some guys cannot wrap their little heads around that at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 07:54 AM
3

Nope. I prefer a literature professor. These guys would not interest me in the least. The term “high-value” makes me vomit a little in my mouth. I don’t like getting dressed up and tying to look better. I like yoga pants. I wouldn’t ever want my photo taken by strangers when I’m out. I’m private and cherish flying under the radar. And I don’t trust men, because I don’t think any of them could resist an up-and-coming Victoria’s Secret model.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 07:50 AM
2

You remain celibate unless someone willingly has sex with you or you pay for it. I don’t view marital sex as transactional at all, but good relationships are built on a lot of factors, whereas a one-time hookup is completely different.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 05:35 AM
4

But you’re going to be having sex the rest of your life with a husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 02:02 AM
7

True, and that’s why I’m bothered. At the same time, I understand he’s a different person as a result of his experiences, and is probably trying to protect himself more, so it’s not as simple as “He treated girl x better.” Lots of times I see people here talking about what someone did in the past with someone else, and they don’t seem to understand that the person has changed as a result of time, age, maturity, experiences, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 11:52 PM
5

My ex was a doctor and made over $300k. I don’t think that millionaire is that big of a leap. Lots of professionals have several million in retirement accounts. I work in finance and see how many people have that. My ex picked me because I was attractive and I was fiesty and I had lots feedback on his ideas he was wanting to turn into a book and he found me super smart and we could talk ideas for hours. We had lots in common. He could definitely have gotten a much more attractive woman. I’ll nev…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 10:04 PM
3

It’s hard to relate because a guy being willing to sleep with me earlier versus later doesn’t really work as a difference. I have had guys wait though, and I take it as them not wanting to come across as pushy or disrespectful. So if a guy in the past had sex with other women immediately, it wouldn’t bother me that he’s waiting with me. I wouldn’t construe it as a lack of attraction. I’ve dated guys who really waited, and it turned out that they were very self-conscious about something, and want…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 09:27 PM
6

Not really. Because I’m unique enough to be chosen due to being a great match for the guy. If there’s some kind of competition, I’m out. The other girl can have him.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 09:09 PM
7

Guys are using the word “picked” in their replies, whereas I was more trying to convey a situation where they were just a default acceptable.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 09:05 PM
2

But I want to be chosen too.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 08:46 PM
6

I’m only talking about myself. It’s possible that a FWB was better looking but no need for that to have been the case. He may have been convenient and skilled and into the same things sexually, and just okay looking. I’ve had FWBs that weren’t that good looking. This obsession with better looking is weird. There are always people better looking. Oh well. That’s life. Spouse material is a much higher bar. I wouldn’t marry just anybody.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 08:23 PM
13

Fascinating. I’ve never really thought about losing or winning versus other women. But i imagine more attractive women get treated better just because attractive people always get treated better in all aspects of life. But I guess I don’t care enough. I can’t ever imagine feeling some sort of win or feeling of being special over getting something that I know another woman didn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 07:17 PM
26

Not surprising. They want to feel picked and special, while they view most women as interchangeable.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:28 PM
10

I wouldn’t be marrying a man who was so obsessed with looks. And personality is a vague, meaningless term. So that comment would irk me. I go for guys who use language well. If he considered me his person, someone supremely compatible with him, then I’d be fine. That’s what I want.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:26 PM
16

I never really thought about it before spending time in this sub, but having had time to consider it, I should feel settled for. Whatever guy I’m dating probably would have been okay with any of a thousand other women and I’m sure lots were prettier than me. Why shouldn’t I be discontent? He’s with me because a more attractive option rejected him.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:58 PM
11

Sounds like you want to be special, to be in some elite small group. Women don’t get that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:55 PM
13

What if it wasn’t a small group? What if she said the vast majority of men were super attractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:41 PM
40

What if a woman said to you, as she was ripping your clothes off on the first date: I’m really horny. I swiped right on hundreds of guys that I’d be really enthusiastic to fuck. Almost all of them looked really fuckable. You happened to be available tonight. Would you still be so enthusiastic to be hookup material?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:33 PM
3

Don’t know what you’re going on about. I’ve been ghosted by plenty of men. It’s by no means a woman thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:14 PM
–

Partner. I want an actual relationship. Best sex ever is usually short lived.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 04:49 PM
35

I completely agree. He swiped right on a thousand women and takes whoever bites. She isn’t special. She isn’t his first choice. He is settling for her. He’d rather be with Stacey or someone more closely approaching Stacey.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 04:10 PM
2

I understand. Ghosting is rude and cowardly.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 02:16 PM
0

How so annoying? Lack of chemistry is just a fact of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 02:05 PM
-2

Perhaps it was just a lack of chemistry?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 01:23 PM
1

I don’t date them. But I don’t like them cluttering my messages.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 04:32 AM
2

Oh my. You don’t need to pay anyone’s bills. Bit of a nonsequitur there. I’m average looking and post wall, with kids, and very happy. It’s a blessing to not be more attractive, because you then have to fend off more vapid men. I like to just be left alone unless I’m on a dating app. I am accomplished, interesting, witty af, smart af, well off, with a great job, have some quite eclectic interests, and don’t even wear makeup because I don’t give a crap. I still get plenty of attention, and heavil…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 10:56 PM
1

Beauty and body care isn’t necessarily because of men. It’s a woman wanting to look her best for myself, to present her best self forward in the world. It’s because women are whole people. Men too often consider us all interchangeable. Any woman that looks good enough is acceptable. We are not just a face and a body. We are not the same as the equally attractive other women next to us. We want to be recognized and chosen for who we are, not just how we look.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 10:32 PM
2

I’ve mostly been on Bumble and have had so many guys swipe without even reading my profile. Granted, there are some that do. I used up the whole character limit in describing myself. I’m absolutely looking for someone with shared values, humor, interests who appreciates who I am, not that I’m one of the acceptable thousands who meet the minimum looks threshold.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 10:25 PM
2

Same. As a woman it aggravates me that so many men only seem to care what a woman looks like.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 10:12 PM
6

One thing is her enthusiasm for having sex with him once they do. Does she initiate? Is she actively engaged? Does she touch you a lot in general? It’s so funny that men are so obsessed with being desired physically as the foremost priority, and women so much want to be chosen for their non physical characteristics.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 10:09 PM
–

No. As a taxpayer I don’t mind at all supporting what is primarily children in low income households - children who are poorer because a MAN abdicated his responsibility. I object to having to pay so much in taxes toward the criminal justice system, where about 93% of the inmates are men. This is sooo not fair to women. Judges, defense lawyers, prosecutors, correctional officers, room and board… WTF!?!?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 02:02 AM
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That they pay for. Like men. That largely come from China. And that no one knows the % male vs female labor underlying.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 09:29 PM
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Because rape and paying taxes are not comparable.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 09:27 PM
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It really depends 100% on the other parent. A functional, reliable, reasonable coparent would be better than single parenting, but I ended up, increasingly over time, not having that. Phone call from the police who found my kids wandering, him bailing at the last minute picking them up from school where I had to race out of work or frantically call the neighbors, me dropping other plans to do the thing he had promised the kids but then failed to make happen… Yes, sometimes it’s easier to just ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 01:30 AM
1

Re your disagreement list: 1 is not a disagreement. Not all unwanted sexual advances are harassment. I don’t know any women who think this. 4 - don’t know what you mean. The accountability is that he can divorce her if he’s not happy. This goes in both directions. He can’t force her to have sex with him. The rest, yes, disagreement. I don’t see why anyone should be forced to entertain anything they don’t want. That’s not how interpersonal relationships work. I don’t need to give groups a chance …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 11:33 PM
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I mostly worry about suppressed trauma and anger coming to the surface down the road. My kids have uncles and other relatives and coaches. They see other families in which they see good fathers and they see other single moms. I think they have plenty of male role models. And my son has commented to me on what type of husband he’ll be one day and how he’ll be different than his dad. So I think seeing the contrasts around him have at least been helpful in that regard. He is very aware and thoughtf…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 11:19 PM
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Single parenting is hard. Parenting is generally hard. I’m raising my kids alone after their father had a mental breakdown, and have to say that it’s fine. I’m not broke, I have a very good career. And it’s easier to get things done than when their dad was in the picture. I’m just responsible for myself and them. Life is way more peaceful. I wouldn’t have chosen for him to be so absent, but I definitely would choose having the kids. I’m good with dating and intend to never marry again. This is m…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 11:06 PM
3

Seriously? This is a problem for men and therefore there is a ticking clock? And women have to be forcibly partnered off to make men happy? No, there is no “solution”. Too bad if men don’t like being single. Women are free agents, as are men, and get to refuse to date anyone they don’t want to date, as do men. You are not entitled to a woman. And if some fascist regime ever forced me into a household with a man, he’d better sleep with one eye open.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 09:11 PM
10

So women are forced into relationships by the government??? That’s the solution?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 09:23 AM
3

Ah yes, I forgot about the posting rule and thought you were commenting on the post directly above yours. My bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 04:02 AM
3

No. Women don’t mean that. What they mean is “I want X from a man who is attractive to me”. There’s no other way around it. She has to find him attractive. Since you asked, the majority of men are average to me. I would definitely find them more attractive if they had happened to have lots in common with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 03:16 AM
3

Do you really think she’s saying “I want X from ugly men”?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 03:07 AM
6

Where is the demonization in that post? There is literally not one negative thing said about men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 03:02 AM
2

Not giant. Just bigger. And I’m just fine. I appreciate your concern though.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 02:14 AM
1

Not a hippo because I’m not fat, but I definitely feel better about myself when I can’t wear the clothes of the guy I’m dating because they’re too big. You can believe me or not. I’ve dated guys the same height and guys skinnier and that makes me feel more like an Amazon.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 01:35 AM
1

Yeah, I guess I’m the only one who likes taller, bigger guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 01:29 AM
2

I think that taller men make women feel more feminine by being bigger. It’s not about protection.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 01:19 AM
4

Taller men make you feel less big and clunky.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 12:58 AM
1

I don’t see how it would help dating at all. In bad economic times people are more likely to stay or get together out of necessity, so it would affect relationships. But I don’t see it impacting dating much.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 01:35 AM
4

Not really. I can watch gay porn too and get into it. In watching straight porn I have no attraction to the guy at all. He’s just some rando. The act and the interaction are what is exciting. I can imagine my bf doing whatever it is to me. I can imagine what a woman who is being focused on feels like, regardless of who her partner is. Straight porn is always banging. It’s always focused on the guy doing what he wants. The woman is an afterthought. It’s all fake.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 07:06 PM
32

Have you ever stopped to consider that some subset of women who watch lesbian porn do so because the focus is on female pleasure? Straight porn generally involved a few fingers and licks and then hard banging. It’s all focused on the male’s pleasure. And given that most women don’t orgasm from PIV much of the moaning on her end appears to be for the benefit of the camera?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 12:36 PM
3

I never said that women don’t like and want sex too. And I was specifically not talking about casual flings. I said that a woman looking for a relationship will generally screen for other things before sexual compatibility. That doesn’t mean all do.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 10:46 AM
1

35+ All 5 on Bumble
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 05:09 AM
1

Okay. He is attractive enough that a decent number of girls shoot their shot. That’s approaching. Why would a woman approach a man she knows nothing about other than his looks, if he’s not good looking? I don’t see any motivation at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 09:20 PM
0

My HS age son has lots of girls approach him and I hear the same from the other soccer moms. Women are NOT afraid to approach. If they’re not approaching, they’re just not interested enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 09:13 PM
1

Oral, anal, outercourse.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 09:08 PM
6

Your life? I have no idea. But the number of men on these subs and on dating apps looking for a relationship is crazy. I suppose they want stability, affection, someone who knows them very well, support, companionship, etc., as well as a sexual partner. Sex is just sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 08:57 PM
10

Men are not the gatekeepers of relationships. Men are more wanting of relationships at this point in time than women. Men of all ages.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 08:39 PM
2

Adding here that sexual compatibility is very important but there are other things that will make it not even necessary to think about sexual compatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 08:37 PM
6

Sigh. Think that if you like.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 08:35 PM
12

Yes, but she’s not going to determine sexual compatibility first. Also, sexual compatibility can take longer to determine, whereas other things are an immediate dealbreaker.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 08:34 PM
17

But a woman looking for a relationship generally isn’t going to have sex before determining whether he is relationship material for her. It’s the reverse order.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 08:24 PM
4

And if that’s your point, that’s a different topic. OP wants banter, not questions.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 04:52 AM
5

Not the topic of the post. That said, Asking for gym pics is weird. Asking for dick pics is inappropriate. Asking about height, job, and reason for last breakup seem reasonable. If the OP was complaining about the nature of the questions, the replies would be different.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 04:29 AM
5

If these are your filters, then it makes sense to screen for them as early as possible. If someone thinks you’re a jackass, better for both of you that you part ways sooner rather than later. OP’s complaint was not about the nature or inappropriateness of the questions, but about being ghosted if the woman didn’t like the answer or didn’t get a quick answer - about the checkbox approach. You are commenting on the nature of the questions.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 03:04 AM
4

Of course, because the vibing isn’t going to cut it down the line when you realize this person isn’t what you want because of fundamental incompatibilities.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 12:13 AM
8

But what do you mean by “transactional”? I’m happy to answer a lot of questions beforehand so that a guy can not waste his time going out with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 11:57 PM
6

These are filters. It would be nice to have information important to you upfront so that you can then just concentrate on the witty banter. Otherwise you’re trying to glean the information over a longer time period and likely wasting time. My filters are different but it’s why I’d never engage with a random guy who approached me or a guy without a profile on an app.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 11:54 PM
3

It’s not an issue of her having a problem or not with casual sex. You can certainly tell the woman either sex immediately or no second date. Whatever, bro.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 09:22 PM
12

No. Because she may fear the guy she wants to date will judge her for having sex too early. Whereas the guy who is just causal, she doesn’t give a rat’s ass what he thinks of her. I’d never have early sex with a guy I wanted to have a real relationship with. You very wrongly assume woman’s motives.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 08:32 PM
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Not relevant. Your care of your own child has zero to do with your sexual satisfaction. There seems to be an underlying idea here that care of the shared child is the woman’s sole responsibility, that his changing the diaper is a favor to her, and she’s not returning the favor by letting him stick his dick in her ass. But I must be wrong because WTF???
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 03:31 PM
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Why should a man change his own child’s diaper? Is this actually your question?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 03:22 PM
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Then find someone to try it with and decide whether you like it or not, before you commit to a life partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 03:19 PM
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Why would you choose to wait for some life partner that may or may not appear when you can figure out what you like right now in college? You need to already know what you like in order to pick the life partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 03:17 PM
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Then don’t marry the woman. No one is forcing you to.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 03:15 PM
4

Of course not. Literally it’s the opening of a conversation. The guy can message back if he feels so inclined.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 03:08 PM
6

Let me rephrase as you seem confused. Women are just as capable as men of picking a safe neighborhood.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 01:37 PM
3

Woman here. I swipe right and send the first message on Bumble if we match. I don’t in any way consider this chasing. Chasing involves some sort of desperation and the other party running away. There’s really no rejection to fear. All women can do this, if they choose to.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 01:02 PM
7

I am just as capable as a man of picking a safe neighborhood. And do you think that moms don’t constantly take into account the safety of their kids with every decision they make?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 12:49 PM
3

Ridiculous. I’ve never been interested in a Chad. I like sensitive, intellectual guys who read extensively and talk about books. Enough with this Chad crap. Jesus.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 01:35 AM
7

If someone finds a friendship to be one-sided then they can end the friendship. I’d never call a male friend for car trouble. I’d take it to the mechanic.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 05:53 PM
1

You have no idea how many guys out there don’t have a lot of free time. Either it’s crazy work hours, or 50-50 parenting with attending kids’ sports or other activities on non-parenting days. Or even coaching sports multiple nights a week. My lack of time isn’t ever the issue with the guys I date.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 11:50 PM
4

Of course we talk about these things. Feelings and concerns are at the heart of what it is to be human. Are we supposed to talk about superficial stuff? Trauma dumping is something different.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 10:29 PM
12

My female friends are smart, creative, fun and witty. I enjoy talking to them and doing things with them. We have lots in common. I don’t need attention, validation, or a receptacle for trauma dumping. This is just silly.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 06:25 PM
2

True. And I use the word “date” loosely. Lots of people remarry but I wouldn’t. Not would I cohabitate.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 01:38 PM
2

That’s fine but kids are kids from 0 to 18 and most people don’t want to go a decade plus without some type of love life. I think it’s good for kids at some point to see their parent as a whole person and not just as their parent. But to each his own.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 01:30 PM
3

This. As a divorced woman with kids, there are boatloads of divorced guys with kids who are very willing to date someone like me. We both understand that the kids always come first. I have zero involvement from their dad, so I am in effect a single mom. It does not seem to impact me. Also, I constantly see comments about nearly all the guys being taken once you reach a certain age, that a woman has lost her chance. This is BS. People are constantly cycling in and out of relationships and marriag…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 11:29 AM
5

No. If a woman wants to have an active coparent and doesn’t get that, she doesn’t like it. But abandoning a child is wrong and he is legally financially liable because the law pins him where it can. But what you write has nothing to do with the OP’s question.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 11:21 AM
6

I have been happy to treat my partner when I was the one earning more. Marriage is a partnership. It makes sense for some amount of sharing to occur.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 01:54 AM
13

That men don’t like it doesn’t make it bad. What, inherently, is the problem with a woman enjoying sex and having a lot of it. What she gets is doing something that she enjoys and chooses. Not everyone lives their life trying to appeal to some subset of the male population.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 01:49 AM
7

No. I do expect him to save the kids. I’d do the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 07:13 PM
1

Kindness may be the overall base characteristic, but in the actual relationship, effort, consideration, and attentiveness really matter. I’ve found it impossible to date to find someone who maintains these past the initial phases. I’ve about given up because I’m so tired of being the one putting in the vast majority of the effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 04:09 AM
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I agree. There is lots more progress to be made.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 04:01 AM
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Then it’s progress that more people go into fields traditionally not associated with their gender, despite the difficulties.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 09:32 PM
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The question was about benefits. Men getting a larger percentage of custody is a benefit. Divorce is an unknown. If people were previously forced to stay together and unhappy, then the increase is a benefit.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 10:12 AM
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We’ll have to disagree then. The upward trends predate men’s rights groups and are also related to other consequences of feminism, such as more women in the workforce.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 10:02 AM
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Female engineers complain of the same. Do you consider anything short of full sameness in all respects to not be progress?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 10:00 AM
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And women can have a hard time in engineering for the same reason. That doesn’t negate the fact that progress has been made.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 09:46 AM
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The increase is the result of feminism. That there are some groups opposing it doesn’t negate that. You will never get everyone to agree. The numbers speak for themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 09:45 AM
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In the U.S there has been an increase in the percentage shared child custody arrangements and an increase in the percentage of custodial fathers.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 09:35 AM
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Increased acceptance of men into professions traditionally held by women, such as nursing and teaching, resulting in increased numbers of men into these fields. As well, increased acceptance of, and ability to be, a SAHP. The number of stay-at-home dads has doubled since the 80s.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 09:30 AM
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And a lot do care. If people don’t it speaks very poorly of them as a person. Same for anyone who doesn’t care about another group’s rights.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 09:23 AM
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In the U.S. there has been a significant decrease in the amount of alimony awarded overall, and an increase in in the number of women paying alimony.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 09:11 AM
–

What tangible benefits do white people get from caring about black people’s rights? Why should I care?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 09:08 AM
27

Exactly. Some people think that alimony is just an unfair given, when it is specifically granted to allow a SAHP time and resources to re-enter the workforce.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 09:46 AM
2

Liberal here raised by conservative parents. You don’t necessarily adopt your parents’ politics. People are able to think for themselves. I grew up, saw how women and other minority groups were treated, and found my own path.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 01:57 AM
3

I myself am not the distribution. The majority of any distribution that is not me does not apply to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 01:50 AM
5

No, I do not watch feminist training videos.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 01:49 AM
2

You think women gain by voting for conservative leaders who vote against women’s rights? Nice try.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 01:48 AM
3

I vote for non-conservative LEADERS as in the ones that make the laws that affect women.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 10:57 PM
9

The protection we need right now is from conservatives. Who helped or did not help enfranchise women 100 years ago is not relevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 10:55 PM
14

Absolutely. Never could I ever be so pathetic.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 09:07 PM
12

I know. It’s shocking. I can’t imagine how fucked in the head I’d have to be to pretend to be conservative to land some conservative douchebag.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 09:06 PM
4

And liberal women disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 09:03 PM
10

Well I’m not a distribution. But again, if you’re so offensive that you have to lie about your core self in order to land a woman, that’s on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 08:55 PM
15

Politics are values and your values are everything. Shame you have to lie to present yourself as less awful than you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 08:53 PM
3

Hon, you don’t know me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 08:49 PM
9

The protection we need is from the conservatives.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 08:39 PM
21

It’s really not that easy to do. You have no idea how I approach this.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 08:38 PM
31

I always assume the moderate means conservative on dating sites. And even men who self identify as liberal, I make sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 08:24 PM
11

Because women who don’t want kids generally are born to women who did want kids. It’s a preference. Because women who don’t, don’t necessarily tend to cluster in one family. One sister wants kids, another doesn’t and wants to be the “cool aunt.”
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 01:15 AM
7

I don’t see it being genetic at all. Is there some evidence for this?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/25 11:54 PM
2

Huh? I knew them and we were friendly but there was nothing else between us, so there wasn’t any choosing going on at that point. After some deeper convos about things I am passionate about, I started viewing them differently and they became very attractive to me and we started dating. And it would never be a question of choosing poorly because he was always a good guy, not just appealing to me in a romantic sense. Even now my sisters don’t think the guys I date are attractive. Why would I care?…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/25 09:56 PM
2

My perception changed, which I wouldn’t consider “clouding”. Attraction is all about your reaction to someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/25 09:35 PM
1

No. I was never attracted to the second group, just acknowledged that they met objective attractiveness standards. A guy with a sleazy sheen no longer looks as attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/25 09:32 PM
9

I’ve had guys become very physically attractive to me that I originally thought were on the uglier side of neutral. It was his talking about literature and poetry that totally swept me up and it changed how I viewed him physically. And on the reverse side I’ve met guys who I thought were good looking, but they were obnoxious or otherwise unpleasant, and I came to view them as physically creepy.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/25 06:52 PM
2

People often have much different criteria for friendship than a partner. I have a male friend I could never date because he’s always late and too wishy washy. I have friends that I have certain things in common with, but not enough for a relationship. Friendship with men is a lesser bar for me, by far.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 01:44 AM
3

It’s not a question of “considering him”. If she’s not attracted to him, she’s not attracted to him. What exactly is she supposed to consider? If she can talk herself into being attracted?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 01:42 AM
2

Looks don’t necessarily create butterflies though. An average looking guy who is witty with word play and has my politics has a decent chance of giving me butterflies. An objectively hot guy who doesn’t like to read is just not going to do it for me AT ALL. Woman are not all the same, and looks are not end-all, be-all for all of us. “Personality” to me is too vague of a word to be meaningful.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 01:36 AM
2

Well then don’t be friends with women. My women friends give me support, an ear, or advice as needed, and vice versa. We have fun going out together to eat or mutually enjoyed activities. I really enjoy their conversation. I find them interesting and engaging. If you aren’t feeling this with someone, then by all means don’t waste time with them. I believe it’s so important to find “your people.”
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 01:26 AM
1

Lying about what? That attraction requires butterflies and isn’t a checklist of good enough?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 01:16 AM
1

What does a “better friend worth the time” involve? If the woman wasn’t a good enough friend to begin with, he could have already done that. There’s no reason to stay friends with someone who doesn’t treat you as a true friend back.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 01:14 AM
0

Or you can complain and not deal with it. What do you expect the rest of us to do?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 01:11 AM
1

Attraction requires butterflies in the stomach and there’s no recipe for that. It’s either there or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 11:48 PM
4

It has nothing to do with being a dancing clown. Is the conversation interesting? Do you enjoy your time and activities together? Why on earth would you be friends with or in a relationship with someone you find boring?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 10:57 PM
4

Not wanting to date someone does not imply being “not good enough.” Attraction doesn’t work on a scale like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 10:48 PM
21

Sexual health refers to lack of medical issues for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 05:41 PM
1

So true. I never experience visceral attraction ever. I can identify that a particular guy is model hot, but I have zero attraction to him. Like a model hot woman. Attraction arises and over a pretty short amount of time I become wildly attracted. These guys seem to think that in all the couples out there where the guys aren’t Calvin Klein underwear models, that his woman isn’t attracted. It’s baffling.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 12:16 PM
2

You need to make friends and engage in social activities if you want to meet women naturally.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 01:00 PM
0

There’s a big gulf between having a stranger approach you and ask you out, and having someone invade your social circle to get close to you because they want to date you. Especially when lots of guys want to date you and act like they want to be friends. Is there any way to talk to someone at a shared activity, some group event? If you are in college, some campus club?Get to know the person a bit so you are acquainted but not outright friends? I guess this is hard spot to find.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 12:12 PM
9

I see that commenters here aren’t understanding the point you’re making with your post.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 10:22 AM
4

Men already know that women largely don’t orgasm from PIV. Is that an inadequacy as well? You seem to be suggesting that we lie about the truth. In reality people tend to do things that contribute to the sexual satisfaction of their partner. OP in this case is fine with what they’ve decided to do sexually. If there is something that his partner can do to make him feel “Wow this feels omg amazing” then that’s between them to discuss. It’s the men in the comments that are upset on OP’s behalf and …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 10:02 AM
2

Not really. Just because bigger can feel better doesn’t mean you need that all the time. Also, technique, duration, interest, variation, communication, attentiveness, etc. are all things that greatly affect the quality of sex. Besides, I don’t think such a question would be honest replies.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 04:03 AM
2

You choose to feel bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 03:34 AM
2

And if you care for your partner then why shouldn’t you be getting over your insecurities? Why is it on her? And if you know she really likes something additional, are you going to stick your head in the sand and pretend otherwise so that you can avoid dealing with your insecurities?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 03:33 AM
3

She doesn’t want another guy. She wants her guy. He’s the one she’s supposedly crazy attracted to. He is the one who turns her on. Given that, why can’t they both do what feels great? Why not supplement nature when and if they choose? There are literally thousands of toys out there to improve pleasure. Why not vary it up? My guy loves to use a vibrating cock ring. Why get upset that my vagina is not “enough”? Why not just lean into it and let him enjoy the enhanced sensation and be happy that he…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 01:35 AM
6

I’m sure you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 10:09 PM
–

How embarrassing for you not to know the basics that sex doesn’t increase vagina size. Generally pushing a newborn’s head out doesn’t increase it either. Spoken like a true incel.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 10:05 PM
4

Sounds good. You find a smaller pussy, she finds a bigger dick. Everyone’s happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 10:02 PM
9

Sorry to break it to you, but a vagina isn’t a gaping hole and I’m sorry some men have such fragile egos. I know you wish that your dicks were magical, and the fact that most women don’t orgasm from them really seems to touch a nerve. I’d never date someone who didn’t enjoy toys on both ends as pleasure enhancement. Only little men are threatened by them.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 10:01 PM
16

No. Because being with the other person, touching them, is what adds to the experience. He could also use a sleeve, and then they could possibly both get off together.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 09:42 PM
2

It is what it is. You accept it, break up, or the guy doesn’t get to finish. Which is it going to be?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 09:37 PM
13

Whatever sex toys help us maximize the experience. Am I supposed to leave him in the cold because of fragile feelings?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 09:35 PM
21

Whatever you both enjoy is what you should go with. A guy who denies his partner enhanced pleasure because of some wounded pride or what not really isn’t much of a partner. It really just an awful position to take. For some women bigger feels a lot better and there’s no getting around that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 09:34 PM
14

Women here are constantly told that their prime is late teens. But we’re also told that women have it so easy with dating. Why would any be complaining. And when is a man’s prime?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 08:37 PM
1

Maybe you should screen for this before asking them out?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 01:55 PM
1

The women I know would pay their share. So it’s not a thing. You must know different people.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 01:42 PM
52

Why do I not do 99.999999% of things? They don’t interest me. And having sex with a guy I’m not attracted to is beyond revolting to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 01:35 PM
1

Thank you for the clarification. I guess I would be looking for other types of questions to flip the script but don’t know what they could possibly be. To me, asking a guy to delete his porn is a few steps away from asking him to block his female friends. It’s not who I am as a person and I feel presents me as controlling and insecure. And I wouldn’t want to date someone who is okay with dating someone controlling and insecure.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 10:40 AM
7

So she can have as much sex as she wants as long as she’s single. That’s what you want? Okay…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 01:30 AM
4

The overturning of Row v Wade makes women’s lives more difficult, creates more unwilling parents, increases the burden on social welfare programs. The effect this has on an unpartnered male will really be on his taxes.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 01:20 AM
3

How do you propose that forced monogamy will work? Men can be upset, vote right, and turn to religion all they want. They still aren’t going to be able to strong-arm women into being with them. And there are still so many younger guys getting married.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 01:17 AM
1

Usually he doesn’t treat me well / make effort because: 1) he’s simply self-absorbed (but clearly trying to fake being not so in the early stages), such as getting super absorbed in his hobbies to the point of ignoring me, not remembering things I’ve told him or when my birthday is 2) him being super insecure about his experience or dick size (again this insecurity isn’t obvious early on) 3) getting scared and running as soon as he realizes I really like him back How do these things relate to th…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 05:17 PM
2

I’m not on IG. I use dating apps. There isn’t any way to tell whether a guy will treat you well long-term. What do you suggest? Is there some tell? I would love to know. I’ve dated a special ed teacher, thinking he would be more compassionate; single dads; guys who volunteer at animal rescues; guys who have a history of long-term relationships. What am I supposed to be looking at? What questions am I supposed to ask?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 01:24 PM
3

When his side of the family doesn’t get phone calls and gifts, usually SHE gets blamed.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 04:57 AM
3

She would be doing this things just for herself if she were single. She wouldn’t be organizing his social life, remembering his family members’ occasions, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 02:26 AM
1

What have you never seen ? Women having actual problems dating someone who doesn’t present as a Chad or bad boy? There are plenty. I’ve had so many unfulfilling experiences. Don’t be thinking that other guys are necessarily an improvement. Also, women don’t need to justify any decision on who they date. It’s their personal call.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 02:21 AM
0

Women fail at all things, like all people. I’ve failed so much at dating as well. I’ve picked guys who seem sweet and sensitive and intellectual, only to have the relationship derail by mental illness, huge lack of effort, crippling insecurity, inability to be open emotionally, and them ghosting me out of the blue. Dating a non-Chad, non-bad boy is no walk in the park.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 12:58 PM
8

Perhaps it’s an issue of your social group. My friends worked hard to get an education and a career and consider themselves independent. A man paying all the time is absolutely not a marker of status. If the guy is considerate, pays attention, gets her favorite flowers, that’s the stuff that makes us sit up and take notice. Assuming she’s earning decent money, why isn’t she contributing? It’s simply not fair. That irks me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 12:20 AM
14

No one talks much about who pays. We’re all well-earning professionals and pay about half of the time. I would disapprove of a woman who let a man pay all the time, unless there was a big income disparity. No one thinks less of a woman who doesn’t have everything paid for. That’s absurd.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 12:10 AM
–

I do the same professional job as lots of men. Neither I nor the guy at desk next to me is required to have a spouse and children. If we do, and decide jointly with our spouse that the spouse will be a SAHP, then we are required to be the family breadwinner. Where’s the difference?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 10:10 PM
0

Different women have different preferences. You seem confused as to why different women say different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 06:15 PM
1

There is enough funding and enough people working in specific fields to attack so many issues at the same time. The amount of government money wasted on stupid research is astounding. I do survey work on mTurk and Prolific and the number of government grants awarded for what I think are idiotic topics is astounding.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 12:53 PM
3

It was approved as an acne medication. But it also appears to be effective for male and female pattern hair loss.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 12:50 PM
1

The amount of U.S. government funding for non medical/scientific research is astounding. Anyone registered with Amazon’s mTurk or Prolific? I’m horrified at the useless research being funded in other disciplines. Quality of life medical research is important. Acne, alopecia, mobility, etc. Hair loss can be devastating. I’d only be interested in scientific research on whether women dismiss this. A random extraction of Internet comments is worthless.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 12:47 PM
23

Plenty of women have androgenic alopecia. It’s not just a male issue. I don’t know where you’re reading, but I believe most women support this research.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 03:38 AM
1

Hmm. I’ve honestly never noticed but I don’t pay attention either and never go out with the intention of meeting new people. I’m just focused on the people I’m with. I guess I don’t know what women do.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 09:17 PM
1

That’s the same source, different write ups.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 04:47 PM
1

Even weirder I’m in the same area. I mentioned book clubs and ballroom dancing as those are my activities and I’m familiar with lots of women involved with them. I don’t know that single women hang out anywhere in particular. I’d say they do things with friends based on shared interests, and whether those friends are single or partnered is not a factor. So any group of women will likely be a mix.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 02:34 AM
1

No, not at all. Women have deeper and stronger social circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 02:11 AM
1

If this is true then people need to develop a social circle. Engage in activities you enjoy, meet like-minded people, interact with neighbors, volunteer.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 12:38 PM
2

Weird. I don’t know where you are but I have so many friends in book clubs consisting of women in that age group. I’ve found ballroom dancing to always be lacking men. There are some couples, but plenty of women do it alone and leave their partners home because they have no interest. There are also lots of single women. Women end up learning how to lead due to the lack of men. Aside from that, Meetups for a common interest is how I’d go I was looking to meet new people. I’ve had luck with hiking…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 02:13 AM
1

Adoption is a huge trauma for children, even when adopted by a wonderful family. You totally fail to take this into account. Children are not things.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 01:48 AM
2

But book clubs and ballroom dancing are where the women are and where men are scarce.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 01:13 AM
1

Ah. I was trying to reply to another commenter talking about bitter older women. My bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 01:10 AM
7

What does that mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 09:25 PM
15

All the more reason to drop the tradwife narrative and choose a partner with similar income.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 09:23 PM
24

There nothing lonelier than being in a wrong relationship. If you have close relationships with family and friends, why would you be lonely?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 09:21 PM
11

I’m older, still get a shit ton of attention, am casually dating, and not bitter. I actually don’t know any women who are bitter. I am definitely happier not cohabitating, not having finances entwined, and having lots of free time. I do enjoy having someone to go out with, snuggle with, and have sex with.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 09:19 PM
1

The legal system only makes you pay for your kids, not be an involved parent. Actual parenting requires sacrifice of multiple types for for > 18 years. Are you saying that men are more apt to jump in front of a bullet for their woman? How often does this play out?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 07:25 PM
2

I seriously dislike a bulky physique. I have never dated a guy with one. Not everyone has the same preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 09:42 AM
3

If the marriage is crappy then the other partner is likely not taking their vow seriously to begin with. Marriage is not a “You made a vow and now you’re stuck forever and I can do what I want” situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 01:37 PM
5

Dismantling your life is a major trauma. If course there is incentive to stick with a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 01:31 PM
6

People don’t leave marriages as soon as things get bad. They leave when things stay bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 01:28 PM
1

They want a quality commitment, not a crappy one.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 01:26 PM
4

Sounds like a quote some guy pulled out of his ass. Women are much less likely to abandon their kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 12:00 PM
4

That women more often initiate the divorce process does not mean they are less committed. It may simply mean that they’re the ones who do most of the paperwork. Also, it’s the cheated on partner who usually initiates the process, not the reverse.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 11:58 AM
1

Yes. And the big drop is from 2018 to the 2021 data point. The prior years have a very negligible change.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 08:56 PM
1

Data from 2021. I attribute it to the mothers handling the bulk of childcare during the pandemic. The stress of online learning plus kids acting out from lack of socialization and all their activities being cancelled. All this affected moms more than dads, therefore moms became more stressed and less happy. And for women without kids, perhaps they were more affected than men with the social distancing and lack of meeting up with friends. I don’t think you can extrapolate pandemic-era data to non…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 08:03 PM
–

I work in accounting. Not a focus on looking or acting a certain way and EVERYONE asks for help. It’s a field where people generally don’t pretend to know things when they don’t, easily say that they don’t know, and are always conferring with others on how to do things. We get along great. There is huge mutual respect. No one is ostracized. Lots of conversation and banter in the office. Everyone is welcome at happy hour. I have no idea how you live that things are so different.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:49 PM
2

The male loneliness epidemic wasn’t so much of a thing and I don’t thing the 60%/30% thing was true at that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 06:37 PM
2

The first link goes to a paper with data up to 2006. The second stops in 2021 and is largely about the decrease in women’s happiness at the time of COVID, which is unsurprising.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 06:17 PM
2

The dataset is from 19 years ago. And things have changed since then.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 05:59 PM
–

Like what? Not being able to pee standing up? I’m seriously interested. I would like to have more free time. I would like more vacations abroad. But overall I’m the happiest I’ve been. Should I regret getting out of a bad marriage? Should I regret the kids that are the light of my life? What am I missing?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 05:50 PM
8

It’s worked out overall because a SAHM is trapped unless she finds someone else to maintain her should the marriage fail. No job skills, no work history, no earnings going into Social Security, no 401(k). She’s completely dependent. Working outside the home gives you so many long-term protections that working inside the home doesn’t. Whatever the downsides are, having autonomy over your own life is paramount.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 05:46 PM
4

This is what the linked paper said. Go complain to the authors about their poor critical thinking skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 05:41 PM
9

The corrected article shows a big drop in women’s happiness during the pandemic. Is this surprising? I had a 10 year old having to do long division typed out in text boxes who was always trying to game in a different window, and a 5 year old who couldn’t yet read who was needing to use a Chromebook for everything and needed my constant intervention. They had to be in separate rooms because of the echo and I was constantly running back and forth. Every mother I know was stressed during COVID.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 04:32 AM
5

This graph just shows that women’s happiness dropped dramatically during the pandemic. Is this meaningful? Having to balance work from home with multiple kids doing online learning in different rooms or taking care of little ones who no longer had daycare, lack of socialization and activities, generally being stuck at home with no end in sight. I don’t find this remotely surprising. My kids did not do well with COVID and that was an additional struggle.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 04:30 AM
7

Different study. This one from the OP shows that women are still much happier than not happy <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 04:07 AM
3

No. Women as a group are not generally unhappy. What is the source for this? If you look at the tables, women over time are much more likely to say that they are generally happy than not. There is simply a dip.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 03:09 AM
4

Yes, the paper can present the numbers, but the reasons are not as clear cut.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 03:05 AM
1

The 100s and 1000s of suitors are definitely not a “wonderful assortment”.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 03:03 AM
7

This article specifically discusses women working and doing second shift parenting AND having to do all the emotional labor of the family, while men skate by with “helping” and “babysitting” their own kids. It’s the imbalance that creates the decreased happiness.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 03:02 AM
5

I don’t think you read the article. Women have not “become miserable”. Where did you pull that from?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 02:59 AM
6

This paper points to a reason as the women having to do the emotional labor for the house while working and child rearing, while men “help” around the house and “babysit”. It is completely untrue that “no one is happy right now”. There is no support for that at all. I am happier now divorced and single parenting than when I was married.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 02:57 AM
–

The ability to toil in the fields or engage in the hunt? Which millenium are you living in? Did humans actually have writing back then? I have the competence to do everything I want. I have a great profession, keen intellect, multiple degrees, fabulous kids, a home, fun hobbies, lots of skills, wonderful friends and extended family. That I can’t spear a bison is something I’m totally okay with. No idea what you’re talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 01:13 AM
-1

Until men get equality dealing with pregnancy, childbirth, gestational diabetes, acid reflux, hyperpigmentation, stretch marks, varicose veins, sagginesss, stress incontinence, pelvic floor issues and all stuff that effs up reproducing women, women decide abortion. Men want an out that would leave them not “paying” their fair share.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 10:20 PM
2

But what use is “date someone who you’re not interested in and not attracted to”? That’s useless. If you can’t get what you want, you get emotional support from friends, because that’s what friends do when life presents disappointments. And you stay single and complain that you can’t get what you want, if you want to complain. Taking something you don’t want is a complete non-issue. It would never be mentioned.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 10:08 PM
6

And mothers who are single includes all those divorced moms of any age who aren’t currently in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 03:30 PM
4

If she wasn’t attracted to him, she wasn’t attracted to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 03:28 PM
2

If a woman wants to go after a guy you think is out of her league, what’s it to you? You think she should pursue something she doesn’t want? Maybe she has fun with Chad in the short term, and that’s enough. Not everything needs to be lifelong. Also, what a person wants very often changes as they get older. And if she never finds a lesser guy that does it for her, she can stay single. Women are free to do what they want, and don’t need your advice or policing.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 03:22 PM
7

Ambitious doesn’t mean rich, but it does generally mean higher income. As a professional I want a guy who doesn’t earn less than me. I want to have a certain comfortable lifestyle. That’s by far not the only criteria in a guy, but I’m not going to be happy with a broke kazoo player. Plenty of guys understand that such women are not necessarily gold diggers.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 12:28 AM
14

I want a man who appreciates my intellect and professional accomplishments. It’s a compatibility issue. Of course I also want someone who expects me to be a person of good character. But there’s more than that. And of course I didn’t get multiple degrees and a professional certification to impress men.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 03:38 PM
6

Nope! I’m a bit older than you and love being able to screen for important things prior to even initiating contact. I’m an introvert but don’t have trouble talking one-on-one to new people. I like the efficiency of dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 03:22 AM
2

Thanks. I don’t really get the appearance thing. Unless someone looks sloppy or unkempt. But I’m someone who doesn’t wear makeup or uncomfortable shoes. I live in yoga pants. A woman who puts a lot of effort into her appearance might more want a guy who does the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 01:46 AM
1

Not all women are that vapid. I like geeky, dad-bod guys who can quote Shakespeare. Not outright ugly guys. Just not super good looking by conventional standards. A guy dressed to the nines and wearing Jimmy Choos would be an instant turnoff, but he’d have to tell me about the name brands because I wouldn’t recognize them. Women are not all the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 01:28 AM
2

It could go either way, but imagining it isn’t as satisfying as watching real people enact it. Yeah. We make the best of not being terribly imaginative. Not everyone is as fortunate as you. We’re perfectly happy with our porn though.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 08:27 PM
2

We’re supposed to close our eyes and imagine the scenario? How is that better than watching other people do it? What can I say? We’re accountants and not that imaginative. Not everyone is as fortunate as you.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 01:34 PM
1

I disagree. I have inner ear problems that impede scuba sex. Watching porn is the only alternative.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 01:24 PM
2

Nah. He just wants something different at times. My bf is plenty attracted to me, we have lots of great sex, we watch porn together, we watch porn separately. No problem. Also though, we’re not ever going to have scuba sex, and we’re not ever going to do it in a public gloryhole, so for those and other scenarios, porn is the answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 01:06 PM
–

So much this.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 08:14 PM
–

I had a PE teacher at my all-girl HS spend a crap ton of time talking to us about the rules of football so that we would be able to talk to boys. Instead of us actually doing some physical activity ourselves. I didn’t pay much attention then and still don’t know how football works.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 08:11 PM
–

Of course. People still talk disapprovingly about married people not having kids, tattoos, piercings, anything LBGT, insert whole long list here. Doesn’t mean the tide hasn’t shifted.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:54 PM
–

I grew up with many women considering their husband another child to take care of. I thought I wouldn’t end up the same and married late, but lo and behold. I’m raising my son and daughter to be independent and generate their own wealth and never need a partner. If they choose one, fine, but they’ve seen firsthand what a disaster their father is, and have lots of friends with messy parental situations, and know that relationships can totally screw you over.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:44 PM
–

One person buys a house and gets roommates - friends they can easily get along with - and gives them a good deal on rent. It’s a win. No messy dividing down the line.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:37 PM
–

As a previous poster said, it’s now completely acceptable to be a single woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:35 PM
–

That’s really fine. There are plenty of guys, married or otherwise, who treat women just fine, and your bad treatment of her is further evidence that she made the right decision. You’re not going to mistreat an independent, well-adjusted woman into being with you. 😂🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:33 PM
–

The men on this sub only talk about wanting an attractive woman. No other adjective. Ever. It reads that a woman is no more than a number on a scale of 1 to 10.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 09:42 AM
–

I don’t see how solitary confinement versus maximum security has anything to do with this issue. There are loads of ways to create social connections in life. And these have nothing to do with sex. We aren’t talking about men stranded on a deserted island choosing between a fleshlight and a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 02:02 AM
0

Thinking someone is attractive is not the same as being attracted to them though. There are lots of people who I’d say are attractive, maybe even very, but do nothing for me sexually. Yours is an interesting take. I’ve been lucky to find guys willing to let things develop.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 02:50 AM
0

More compatible? How so? I base all my matches on extreme compatibility so if there’s attraction, the relationship has amazing potential.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 02:34 AM
1

Not true. I definitely need to get to know someone before becoming wildly attracted to them. I’m all over my partner all the time but it took many dates to get there. That’s how some of us are.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 02:13 AM
5

I don’t want a man to be my provider nor do I want to be his provider. I am my own provider and have no interest in looking for any man to take care of me financially. The healthiest women want a provider? Where is this pulled from? Do you not see the number of women in the workforce?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 11:32 PM
6

Is sex with a woman you have to pay outright actually better than sex with a fleshlight? If so, what about it is better? Specifically what? I really don’t get it. This is a woman who wouldn’t freely have sex with you. I’d be wondering the whole time how repulsed she was despite faking otherwise, and that would 100% ruin it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 12:11 PM
4

Women own their sexuality and are no more passed around than the men they have sex with.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 09:34 PM
5

No, she isn’t. Because women are objects that can be passed around.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 12:14 PM
5

The federal minimum wage is 7.25, so anyone who earns that or anywhere near it will be poverty level. Like 81,000 workers by one count, not all of whom are teenagers. Food service, hospitality,.. Most social welfare programs use a multiplier of the federal poverty rate. So you can be earning significantly more than minimum wage and still be considered poor enough to need assistance. FURTHER, it is often the kids who get the assistance. You consider them freeloaders? And if the parent needs to wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 12:43 AM
3

I’m saying that you can’t force anyone to take care of a child. If both parents don’t want the child, it goes into the foster system, which you pay for right now, like it or not. The state tries to get payment from unwilling parents, but when they are unable, then they are left footing the bill. It’s not my personal morals. The government attends to this as part of its required function. If you want to let poor kids starve, then that’s your morals.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 09:06 PM
–

Making what up?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 09:02 PM
5

Forcing a parent to take care of a child they don’t want is a recipe for abuse. As much as I prefer men pay child support for the kids they create, I don’t want to pay the costs to jail them. Nor do I want to deal with the turmoil and expenses they create after they get released, hardened and less employable.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 06:47 PM
2

If you are working you can still be below the poverty level. And you need to pay someone for childcare. How exactly do you propose these people get food? Steal it? That kids be fed is a non- negotiable. The US is not a third world country. Comparing lack of sex to solitary confinement is absurd. People have the freedom to have relationships with friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, etc. They can be surrounded by people as much as they want. And all those interactions will be more authentic tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 06:39 PM
2

Are you kidding me? Food is a need. If you can’t get food then the government provides it to you. Same with Medicaid. If you are poor, you get government health care, because health care is a need. And it’s not just poor kids on Medicaid. Adults of both genders qualify too. Lack of food will kill you. Lack of sex will not kill you. Knock, knock. Hello? Do you understand this? If you WANT sexual release you can jerk off or use a toy. There are cheap and FREE options to addressing your wants. Does…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 06:18 PM
4

Poverty level is a thing. State governments establish parameters for household size and income to determine who needs benefits. Not all poor people are the same level of poor.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 05:00 PM
–

Such women probably also look down on women with blue collar jobs. Are you sure it’s a gender thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 04:35 PM
6

You can’t masturbate? Do you lack hands? You can’t afford a fleshlight? Seriously? Food is a need. Contact with a human vagina is not a need. I just can’t even believe I have to say this.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 12:05 PM
26

Anyone lacking should get adequate resources. We don’t get to pick and choose individual expenditures. Most welfare programs are for the kids, not the adult. If it were predominantly men being single parents, then the benefits would predominantly be going to their families. People without kids still have to pay for schools. People with kids in private schools still have to pay for the public education system. People without cars still have to pay for roads. My taxes go towards all sorts of thing…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 01:25 AM
2

No, I don’t have that backwards. https://www.medicinenet.com/what_ages_are_women_and_men_at_their_sexual_peak/article.htm Or like, so many other articles.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 01:01 PM
1

Women tend not to do for guys at a certain age who haven’t been married. And exes and parents preferring the previous partner and financial problems can result if you lived without someone or had a LTR without being married. As a divorced person, I prefer other divorced people, although many single men have not cared I was divorced. But I don’t care if my partner stays friends with an ex, whether they were married or not. And I am financially independent so their finances don’t matter that much.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 06:12 PM
3

Seriously? Women go to the doctor out of paranoia? Is that what the medical community says? Here’s a fun one: https://www.wsj.com/articles/why-men-wont-go-to-the-doctor-and-how-to-change-that-11556590080
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 06:00 PM
2

And yet there are so many divorced people out there who date and find new relationships. That divorced people don’t make good partners is such a broad, ridiculous statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 05:41 PM
28

Men are much less likely to go to the doctor in general. See the CDC reports. Use of antidepressants only means that women are more often treated for depression. For all we know there is a higher incidence of depression, and untreated depression, in men. Your logic really isn’t up to par here.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 01:56 PM
8

No. But I don’t find them interesting to me, so it doesn’t matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 01:47 PM
3

Huh? Average age is not relevant, especially if you aren’t providing the standard deviation. But I’m surprised it’s not older, given how old people can get to. If the median age is 39 that means half of divorced women are younger. Further, there is no reason why a man or woman can’t find someone their own age. There are plenty of unattached people of all ages. And the men I know want women near their own age because they relate to them better. As for sexual peak, dream on. A guy is at his sexual…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 03:04 AM
13

Which is what a friend is. So you’re saying that because you have family, you don’t need friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 08:58 PM
21

Are you saying that you don’t know what friends talk about?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 08:37 PM
10

No, because there are lots of divorced guys who weren’t available before, but are available now.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 08:26 PM
-2

There really isn’t any wall. And there are always previously partnered guys becoming single and available at all ages.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 08:24 PM
3

No. I was summarizing what the OP said, which I followed with “WTF?” You think kids of single moms would have been better off aborted? Okay, whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 12:29 AM
2

First, I don’t think that being a single mom is necessarily the result of a flawed decision. Second, of course things are applied selectively based on the specific decision. Why do I even have to clarify this? “I stabbed my parents to death for the insurance money” is also a flawed decision. Do you view that the same?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 10:52 PM
1

I am not blaming single moms at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 05:54 PM
6

Yeah, because being a parent to a kid that you got pregnant with is comparable to having sex with a prostitute? Seriously? This is your logic?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 05:52 PM
13

No. He is free to not date whomever he doesn’t want to date. But he is presenting a logical analysis here and I’m finding fault with the logic.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 12:54 PM
-2

That’s not the topic of this post, so irrelevant. If such a father posts on AITA about abandoning his kids then he will be voted YTA.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 12:53 PM
19

No one is ever immune from judgement. This judgement is icky. If you don’t want to raise someone else’s kids then you don’t want to be with a widow either. If your beef is with divorced women who have children then include that as a judgement. No divorced women for you. If your gripe is that the woman had the baby, then say you prefer women who get abortions. If you’re bothered that she had sex which resulted in a pregnancy then say you want a virgin. Your reasoning is Swiss cheese.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 11:57 AM
0

My bad. Sorry. I thought that “disproving this theory” referred to my response.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 11:51 AM
29

Yes, this is creepy and moralistic. There are lots of good reasons to not want to date someone with kids. This woman made a flawed decision so I won’t date her. WTF? Widows are good though. So it’s not the having kids at all. It’s pure judgement of the mom.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 11:34 AM
7

You are making my point? There is no locking down. Relationships are fluid. They can fall apart at any time. A woman who is 30ish can absolutely find a partner because lots of men who were partnered before end up single again.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 10:57 AM
19

Relationships are always ending and starting. The way men here talk about a woman reaching an age where she’s lost her chance, and that she should have “locked down” someone earlier always strike me as bizarre because there are always single and newly available people to try a relationship with. At any age.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 09:44 PM
19

Yeah. That stopped me dead. No, women are most assuredly not obligated to date anyone. This level of brain rot can’t be reasoned with.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 03:30 PM
1

On this sub men are always talking about getting an ATTRACTIVE woman. There is never ever another adjective used. This seems to be all most men care about. Someone once said that MGOT was more like Men Sent Their Own Way. Do you think women will care?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 11:01 AM
4

Yes, because so often guys get the wrong idea. “But you talked to me.” “But you laughed at my jokes.” “That barista is so nice to me. She must like me.” How are women supposed to navigate this?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 07:44 AM
3

If you’re getting your sexual needs largely met by yourself or a toy, and can’t actually have sex with a man you’d like to with, without risking pregnancy, you really only need friends for company.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 07:35 AM
1

If she really wants to meet you, hasn’t been conditioned to think it’s too forward to ask a man out, and doesn’t expect something expensive, chances are she will.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 07:28 AM
4

Because any woman is acceptable, as long as she’s not ugly or fat or “run through” or a single mom?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 12:14 AM
14

Of course they would. It’s not the child’s fault. The child needs and deserves support until they’re 18. Absolutely.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:51 PM
6

No. Not at all. There will still be women who won’t care, so the guys who have a lot of sex will get less, but it’s still better for them than being father material to one woman. So they won’t change. The unpartnered men now will still be unpartnered. Dramatically less sex will be had across the board, and post-menopausal women will get all the young hotties they want. Women who don’t want kids will get their tubes tied and do as they see fit. More single mothers will increase the demand for gov…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:38 PM
20

You think these things are comparable?? WTF?! The government has no business getting involved in who someone chooses to associate with or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:31 PM
9

Pretty sure he wants left-leaning women to “include” right-leaning men in their relationships and activities. Why on earth would they?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:28 PM
12

To marry an undesirable guy? But she won’t even have to have sex with him unless she’s wanting to get pregnant. But she does have to live with him. Totally not worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:24 PM
8

That’s a lot of government support that’s going to be needed.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:22 PM
24

This is ridiculous. It’s not your concern what other people do in their sex lives and whether they want children or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:21 PM
5

My teenage son goes to school, plays various sports, previously did other activities, hangs out with friends, has them stay over on weekends where they play video games together until way late. He has a close relationship with me and other family members. I keep wondering about this male loneliness epidemic. Do you not have activities and good friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:17 PM
9

Women will buy and use toys, or move to oral and anal, but they’re not any more likely to get into a relationship with someone they wouldn’t do that with now. This is pure wishful thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:11 PM
8

Yeah. Loneliness is not equivalent to lacking a romantic or sexual partner. Words matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:07 PM
5

Does this mean forcing kids to interact when they don’t want to?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:06 PM
7

You don’t become partnered unless you are attracted to the other person.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:04 PM
19

Or they’ll pick the hot guys and be single moms. They’re still not going to want to be tied to someone they’re not attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:02 PM
25

And so married people would have to stop having sex when they wanted to stop having babies?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 10:59 PM
3

Not really. But pick another coffee shop if you like. It’s fine to say that you prefer low-key first dates at quiet places that give you an opportunity to talk and hear each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 09:19 PM
5

You don’t need to create a memorable experience. You need to get to know each other. If you’re depending on external factors then it may not be you that she ends up liking, but the activity.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 09:15 PM
3

Again, “all of the effort” is laughable. Plenty of times I’ve been the one to suggest getting together with a dating app match. I’ve even paid for his latte on occasion. What you get is a conversation to see if you want to meet up again. If you think you deserve more, even if you expended extreme effort, you’re 100% deluded.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 09:13 PM
9

Women do not know how many previous first dates you’ve taken there. Do you think she’s doing some investigation of these? Coffee dates are low effort and low stress and an excellent environment to focus on conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 09:06 PM
1

Go on Meetup.com and join a group related to an activity that interests you. Why do you want women specifically to do? Sign you up for something?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 08:55 PM
7

A number of women here have asked for clarification. There are literally so many social activities out there to join. I don’t understand why there is a problem and what you want women specifically to do about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 08:53 PM
18

I have the same question. Even if there are women-only gyms, there are still so many gyms a guy can join. He is not impeded in any way from joining a gym. Gyms really aren’t the best choice for social activity anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 08:49 PM
9

Resolve setbacks? Like what? Expect something in return? Absolutely not. Come up with a first date plan that you can recycle, like a coffee shop, do that you can reduce the onerousness. It’s incredulous that guys make such a big deal of the “effort”.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 06:47 PM
11

I like to get to know someone and see if we’re compatible. It’s really not that much effort. Ask what days she’s available and suggest a cafe. It’s not high effort. She’ll get herself there and home. I have no idea why you think there is so much work involved. If you aren’t liking the opportunity to get to know her, why are YOU going on the date? Are you just wanting sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 06:42 PM
6

Of course men have this option. I’ve known a few SAHDs. I absolutely believe most men would not choose this though. No one is demanding anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 09:41 AM
2

Being a mom is my best job. However it can be a catastrophic financial decision to be a SAHP. I’m now full-time parent and provider due to my ex-spouse’s extreme mental illness, and I’d be in a much better position, and the kids as well, had I always kept a foot in the workplace.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 07:36 AM
9

Being a SAHM works as long as you remain happily married your whole life. If you end up divorced you are screwed. You have very little ability to earn the salary you would have otherwise. You are 10, 20, however many years behind trying to play catch up. It’s brutal.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 07:33 AM
21

You really think most men prefer to be stay-at-home parents? My experience is that most men derive a great sense of worth from their paid employment.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 07:24 AM
1

Geek. No interest in sports whatsoever. Don’t like attention. I prefer to be left alone and fly under the radar.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 03:05 AM
1

No. The OP is specifically about the value men place on sex. OP has all sorts of outrageous logic and comments, such as the man has to earn the right to have sex with the woman. There is no “right” - GROSS- and OP seems upset that the woman won’t just have sex with him after passing him on the street. It’s really twisted and gross.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 03:53 AM
3

That it’s easier to get a date with a woman than have sex with her. Um yes, of course. But the men I know are all the same as well. They want to get to know a woman first. The guys in this sub who are walking horn dogs willing to stick their dick in any random woman is the most bizarre thing. So no, I don’t think the OP’s logic is sound
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 12:49 AM
4

So? The OP contended that sex was a woman’s ultimate form of investment in a man. I am disagreeing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 12:14 AM
6

Good god no. I’m not compatible with the vast, vast majority of men. Nor are they with me. A suitable life partner is a tiny fraction of the population. That said, the men I’d have sex with are a large multiple of that tiny amount.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 12:08 AM
4

Birth control is a thing. Abortions are a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 08:57 PM
17

My ultimate form of investment in a man is marrying him. I did it once and won’t do it again. There too much to negotiate, too much to lose. Sex is a pretty low form of investment.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 07:11 PM
18

I think he will find someone. Most men here care only what a woman looks like and view women as interchangeable. I generally feel like a piece of meat reading this sub. The question is always about landing an attractive women, So many women are looking for a compatible partner. Politics tops my list. Finding someone who doesn’t want kids shouldn’t be an issue. Earning under $100k in a medium COL area doesn’t seem like enough to buy a house and live comfortably in today’s economy. But I live in a…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 01:55 PM
–

Men aren’t holding up their part of any bargain. They’re doing a job. They can stop mining and drilling and we’ll all be better off. If they don’t want to haul trash or work in sewers, then don’t. When these jobs can’t find workers the pay will have to increase until someone wants to. Some places you have to transport your own trash already anyway. Stop the draft and stop all of the unnecessary military incursions around the globe. If the mentality has always been that’s it’s a quid pro quo, tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 01:48 PM
–

I believe the “right” he is referring to is the freedom to have sex outside of a LTR. But yeah, it’s confusing and convoluted af.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 01:40 PM
–

Great! Spring of the Four Seasons. I’ll take care of that “You tell me what needs to be done with the house and kids and our social life because I have no idea even though I live here too” list.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 07:54 AM
–

Can you play Vivaldi?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 07:34 AM
–

You have actually no idea of the work involved. So telling. 😂🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 07:30 AM
–

Definitely not. They don’t propose either shaming or prison for adultery.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 07:22 AM
–

And what’s the punishment for adultery? And when there are huge swathes of shunned people, they just associate among themselves and they’re totally cool with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 07:05 AM
–

Start with Trump, who cheated on all his wives?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 07:00 AM
–

Haha. The lazy women raising an overgrown child. Funny, dude!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 06:59 AM
–

So you want the government to have some system to officially enact this? Because people are going to care.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 06:58 AM
–

What specific rights are you referring to? Women being allowed to vote?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 06:52 AM
–

Perfect. Then what rights are we arguing about?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 06:50 AM
–

So women shouldn’t be allowed to be financially independent because then they are not forced into a relationship? And them not forced into a relationship harms the guys here?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 06:49 AM
–

No. They actually don’t. Not at the level that another person is forced into a relationship with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 06:46 AM
–

Keeping women financially dependent and reliant on a man is a form of slavery. The autonomy of an individual always supersedes someone else’s desire for sex and a relationship. Your attitude is completely gross and mercifully most men don’t share it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 06:46 AM
–

A lot of men want relationships also because they want to be taken care of. Too many women consider their husband an additional child.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 06:30 AM
–

That doesn’t mean they don’t want a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 06:27 AM
1

No. Love and desire cannot be earned. And I never see/hear anyone write/say this. WTF?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 01:00 AM
1

Yes, because the female me would love to date a male version of herself with such compatible interests and hobbies. It would literally be a dream come true.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 10:11 PM
12

So where are they supposed to find these guys?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 10:45 PM
3

Social media is so vapid and also largely contrived and I honestly don’t want anyone else’s life. The Kardashians make me cringe. I have a job I love, great family and friends, and activities that really speak to me. I don’t think I have ego, but why should I care about other people? I’m my own person.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/25 08:57 AM
2

Jack is in purgatory because he can’t crack the 10%. These are the OP’s words.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 03:56 PM
4

Jack is upset, actually in purgatory, because he can’t crack the top 10%. This is the situation per the OP. Jack is aiming sky high.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 03:54 PM
1

Needle in a haystack is 1%. It something very very difficult to find. We are talking about women in their 20s. How many college grads are hard drug users? Come on. My area has hiking groups by age range. Jack needs to look for or create one of those. Every single 20 year old woman I work with or come into contact with via professional societies is college-educated, attractive, fit, and not a hard drug user. These women are everywhere. I have no idea where you or Jack live, but it’s nothing like …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 03:52 PM
2

To make a point. And the point doesn’t hold.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 03:46 PM
5

Jack wants the type of woman that the top 10% of men pull. Yet Jack is not in the top 10% of men. According to the OP, Jack is average looks, average height, and upper-middle class. Why is Jack thinking he’s in the top 10% of men who are some combo of hot, tall, and rich? Whether women are overly picky is not the issue. The issue is Jack dramatically overestimating his own league. Jack is not top 10%.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 03:45 PM
1

I’m not going to debate that because that’s not the topic of the post. Jack, whether fictional or not, is an average looking, average height guy, with an upper-middle class salary and a fit body. He’s upset that he doesn’t pull the women that the top 10% of men do, while not being in the top 10% of men. Jack’s reasoning ability is pitiful and the college degree didn’t help him there. Jack is a jerk.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 03:40 PM
5

Have you been on a college campus? You’re saying 90% of the women there are fat and ugly. Name the college campus where this is true. I’m going to investigate.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 03:35 PM
4

Working with your numbers, that’s half of the women out there, which is a ton. Finding one that’s just average looking who went to college is not some needle in a haystack. There are so many people into athletic activities, especially so in their 20s. The number of gyms, formal athletic clubs and groups, Meetup groups, and just people out there jogging and cycling and hiking and rock climbing and whatever is huge. Jack isn’t looking for someone with some rare hobby. Althetic activity is everywhe…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 03:33 PM
6

Obesity levels increase with age. Jack is looking for a woman in her 20s, not her 50s. My gym is always full. There are a gazillion Meetups for hiking, pickleball, cycling, etc. I always see men and women jogging. There are plenty of people into fitness.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 02:29 PM
6

But Jack wants a woman who is dating doctors, former athletes, finance types, etc. It doesn’t sound like Jack is actually okay with average looking. Especially when many doctors marry other doctors. And former athletes don’t generally care about women being professionally successful. It sounds like Jack is looking for someone really hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 02:27 PM
3

So all the fit, college-educated, average-looking women are dating top 10% men? I just don’t believe the numbers go this way. More women than men are college educated. Fit is 50% of the population. Average looking is not a high standard. Plenty of women meet these. Is Jack living under a rock?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 02:20 PM
8

Plenty of women are into fitness. Is your gym all men? It is not hard to find a college-educated woman into fitness.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 01:05 PM
5

So Jack is okay being with an average looking woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 01:03 PM
16

My Google says 50% of women this age are normal weight. And overweight doesn’t outright mean fat. I think Jack must be way too picky about looks. And Jack seems to be very typical of the guys posting here, who are obsessed with looks and percentiles and threshholds. I really have no sympathy for Jack.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 01:00 PM
16

Dude, 90% of women in college are not fat or ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 12:46 PM
22

So Jack can’t find an attractive, educated, fitness-valuing woman? Seriously? Because only 10% of women fit this description and they’re going for the 10% above him? I don’t buy it. Lots more than 10% of women fit his alleged criteria. I think Jack is way too picky. What percentage of the women on his college campus were fat and ugly? 90% he claims?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 12:37 PM
2

You act like women are generally unattractive. What’s the deal? Why are you being so judgy about what other people do?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 09:37 PM
1

I think the obsession that this sub has with physical appearance is insane. Plus, she doesn’t have to be gorgeous to be a great hookup. Maybe she has a great body, or part of the body he tends to like more than the rest. Maybe she’s enthusiastic. Maybe she’s got great skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 04:18 PM
0

I don’t randomly hook up with guys at all. But I only date off apps. And if I were looking for casual sex I’d do the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 03:28 PM
4

No. Because the hot guy theoretically has his choice of tons of women on the app. And if he were out at a bar his selection would be limited to the small number of single women there looking for casual sex that very night.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 02:23 PM
1

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 02:19 PM
1

I also think if you go out in person you could possibly have all sorts of guys leering at you and trying to chat you up. Why do that? And you don’t actually know if someone is single and looking for a hookup or is just out with friends. You can look at profiles in the comfort of your own home in pajamas and only interact with those you want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 01:18 PM
3

No. I’m not admitting any such thing. I disagree that it’s to get hotter guys. I think you’re wrong. You can meet up at any place. I’d probably pick a bar at a restaurant, where families and couple and friend groups go out to eat and there is really is no hookup scene.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 12:55 PM
11

There’s a lot more selection and some people don’t like bars and clubs.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 12:44 PM
1

No. Women absolutely do not expect mister perfect to arrive some day.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 12:26 PM
16

Women wanting to stay single has very little, if anything, to do with “Chad”, who is largely a fabrication of the manosphere.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 04:08 AM
1

Honey, you would like to think I’m invisible. But I get hundreds of likes and plenty of convos and date offers. AND IDGAFF about “most men”. Who on earth would? You think most men are some prize? You’re here on a sub where the general belief is that 80% of men can’t get a relationship, and yet you think I’ll be insulted by you telling me all these allegedly undesirable men think I’m invisible? Do you even recognize your own cognitive dissonance? Attention from “most men” is a useless, distractin…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 12:11 AM
0

No. THEY wait longer to have sex with me if they’re looking for a relationship with me. They don’t want me to think they just want sex. I’ve had any number of guys slow things down and back off when the fooling around starting getting hot and heavy. But I’ve also had guys wait so that I would be more emotionally invested. One guy was self/conscious about a weight gain and didn’t want to take off his shirt, another insecure about dick size, another insecure about how long it had been since he las…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 10:15 PM
2

They waited longer to have sex with me than a hookup. Several dates and several weeks. No to the rest. Very often in a relationship people do not have sex immediately as they want the other person to know they are not just looking for sex. Spending time together is not making the other person “work harder”.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 10:55 AM
6

So he is dating someone just to get sex and not to have a relationship? Is he simply lying about wanting the relationship in order to get sex? I’ve dated men with lots of sexual history and there’s absolutely no issue at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 07:54 AM
6

It’s very possible to have had dozens of partners by 35 even if you’ve only had relationship sex. Most relationships don’t work out long-term. That’s less than 2 partners per year.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 07:39 AM
5

Having had a larger number of sexual partners may simply mean a woman has had a lot of short- term relationships that didn’t work out. Not everyone is having an orgy with strangers on the regular.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 07:36 AM
5

This is bullshit. People are always cycling in and out of relationships. There are unattached people in every age group looking for a relationship. I am 50 years old and there is absolutely no shortage of men interested in dating me. Do you know what the divorce rate is? Do you have any idea how many guys 30 and up are starting over? There is no expiration date for finding a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 09:29 PM
–

No. Because there’s no evidence that he feels that way. Unless he charges her.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 02:29 PM
–

No doubt. That’s a tough choice of work.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 02:16 PM
–

That’s the point. Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 02:08 PM
–

Nice try. I’m not sticking a dick in the massage therapist and groping her tits. It’s not sexual. Well, not for me. You could make the same argument for the CNA who wipes your butt in the hospital and the nurse who wraps your burns and the plastic surgeon who does boob jobs and a bunch of other careers that involve touching people. It’s not sexual. I don’t like to touch strangers. I work on a computer.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 02:07 PM
–

If he’s grossed out and pretending otherwise that’s on him. We can’t reasonably speculate. As long as he’s willingly putting out for free, why even try?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 02:01 PM
–

Honestly, that situation is a WTF for me. I would not want my spouse having sex with me if they didn’t want to. And I would never ever try to talk them into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 01:52 PM
–

I don’t know. But I also don’t believe most men are repulsive. And I don’t know a man’s biological drives. But I have other drives and when they juxtapose another human being grossed out, I’d stop. I’m very sensitive to other people’s reactions to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 01:48 PM
–

If they’re grossed out then maybe they wouldn’t be doing it? That’s a leap on your part. Unless money or some other consideration is exchanged, she’s attractive enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 01:45 PM
–

Sex for sex’s sake is reason enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 01:42 PM
–

80/20 is something someone pulled out of their nether quarters. I don’t confirm anything. I said that people get to set their own standards and we don’t need to police them. I don’t know where you’re extrapolating all this from.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 01:05 PM
–

No. My job does not involve me letting my boss fuck me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 12:35 PM
–

Huh? Maybe she just wants sex. You can’t tell HER what matters to HER. You think all women want commitment all the time? That’s your cope. Think again. Maybe she wants to look at a hot guy and feel a chiseled chest and run her fingers along defined cheekbones and jawline and look into gorgeous eyes while she gets her insides absolutely rearranged in the most amazing-feeling and primal way and … Um, yeah, she’s not being used.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 12:33 PM
–

Haha. You are trolling me. People get to pick their standards. Do you propose that an unattractive guy who gets a chance with an attractive woman should say “No, I can’t take advantage of you and your low standards.” Omg, imagine!!! I am dying here. You think that somehow the guy is lowering his standards with the unattractive woman but in fact she may be great in bed and way more skilled than an attractive woman. I’ve found that some guys that lack in other departments have mad skills that othe…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 12:26 PM
–

Nothing to do with bigotry or trans people. Go back to bed and try again tomorrow. Reading is apparently hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 12:22 PM
–

I’m not stopping them. Nor am I mentioning rape. Not am I advocating wanting them killed. Nor am I Indian. 😂 You have some serious reading comprehension issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 12:01 PM
–

And she’s using him as a hot guy to fuck her. Apparently he’s easy too.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 11:57 AM
–

Huh?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 11:55 AM
–

He’s attracted enough to parts of her or he wouldn’t be doing it. Shes possibly using him for the experience as well. Your use of the word cumdumpster is very revealing. Why aren’t you using some equally pejorative term for the guy? What she is, is a woman doing what she wants with someone freely willing and having a good time. That’s all. She’s not handing over cash for him to fuck her. How absolutely degrading. Privilege isn’t relevant. If I were so repulsive that no man would fuck me I still …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 11:39 AM
–

It shocks me that men can enjoy sex with someone knowing the other person would not willingly have sex with them and is possibly thinking about how grossed out they are in the moment.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 11:13 AM
–

A woman who has casual sex is presumably having it with someone enthusiastic and attracted to her. A man paying a woman for sex is having it with someone who is only willing to do it for the money. The job analogy does not apply. Access to another person’s body is a form of intimacy not comparable to sitting at a desk and doing a job you otherwise wouldn’t do if you weren’t getting paid. I could not enjoy sex if my partner weren’t freely willing. I would not have sex if I couldn’t find a freely …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 11:07 AM
3

No one. It’s the cat. Doing something I don’t care to deal with until morning. If we hear breaking glass and movement, we each hightail it to one of the two kids’ rooms, lock the door and call police. Maybe I scream at max pitch and volume because I have the better voice for that. You would not be suggesting that one of us be idiot enough to go confront a possible armed intruder.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 01:25 PM
9

The “bring to the table” thing is the grossest. Automatic block. The things that make an individual woman interesting and unique and not the things they care to hear. It’s up there with “high-value man”. Ick. Ick. Ick.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 05:58 PM
8

Yes. The positions are this sub are so confusing to me. It seems like the only thing that matters about a woman is how hot she is. Actually also how non-run-through (is that a word?) she is. Also not being a single mom. So, three things. Guys here say they don’t care how much a woman makes and most don’t want a woman to earn more because… toxic masculinity. But then god forbid the marriage ends and she gets some of “his” money.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 05:38 PM
24

I’m an upper middle class professional and I’m much better off than my ex because I’m sensible and frugal and a planner. So no. Women need to be independent. There’s too much risk being dependent on anyone. And there’s too much hostility towards women, especially in these subs, regarding them earning less and supposedly taking advantage of men. And financial outcomes are one thing, but being unhappily married is quite another. I’d rather have less money and get a roommate or otherwise adjust tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 03:10 PM
37

Rich women have staff. You can’t compare. Lots of rich women are divorced with children. As am I. Personally I think that’s the best of both worlds.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 10:48 AM
7

I’m confused about this as well. If so many young women are dating older men, to the point that so many young men are single, why don’t you hear about older women complaining en masse? I generally see college aged kids dating each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 12:15 AM
–

Every divorced women I know is happy to be rid of that extra child and be in charge of her own life. Red pillers don’t seem to understand that women often prefer to be single. Why the scepticism? What exactly is so hard to believe?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 02:52 PM
–

ENM is ethically non monogamous. Usually the person is married and they are looking for full other relationships. Many a time I have read a great profile only to get to the ENM part. I don’t want these guys in my deck. Younger people may of course want someone who doesn’t already have kids. If you’re a single parent maybe you want someone who also predominantly parents because you just aren’t going to have a lot of time for them. Empty nesters want fellow empty nesters; younger kids are a hard n…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 02:50 PM
–

Exactly. It’s the mom who often does the bulk of the childcare. It’s a big responsibility. But my life is so much better being a single mom. I absolutely would not trade it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 02:22 PM
–

Dude, abortion is not killing a child. Your numbers are absurd. Having a child is an enormous responsibility that changes your entire life; it’s not a minor “inconvenience”. As men obviously cannot get abortions we don’t have numbers. But there’s certainly a large percentage who are happy to be off the hook for the huge responsibility of a child. Is the dangerously job just for the family? Is it also for themselves? Do childless and unmarried men do these jobs? Or it is just for the benefit of w…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 12:34 PM
–

What responsibility? As a single (older) mom, sole provider, I feel like I bear ALL the responsibility. The women I know bear much more responsibility than men because they work plus handle much more of the childcare and family matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 11:55 AM
–

It’s not random. People want different things at different phases of their lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 11:52 AM
–

I’m this woman. Happily divorced and I will date but will never get married again. Older women who have their career, kids, house, and divorce very often do not want to get remained. The incentive isn’t there. We’ve worked too hard to get where we are. Merging households and combining finances at this point is my idea of hell. I’ve dated a string of guys. There’s no lack of older men who want relationships with older women. It’s just a question of having compatible goals.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 11:49 AM
–

I agree that both sides should have filters that they want. From what I can tell, OK Cupid is the only site with a body type filter. And it’s not like women are indifferent to body type. What other filters do men want? ENM vs monogamous should be a filter. Single FT parent. Anything that prevents a dealbreaker popping up down the road in the convo should be a filter.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 06:48 AM
–

Women who don’t care have ZERO incentive to comment online. Women who really care will gush. How many women are there in the world?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 07:50 PM
0

But aren’t woman crucified here all the time for settling? If you’re with someone to just not be single and they really aren’t your choice, isn’t this the same thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 01:55 PM
4

Well in the US, it’s years that you don’t contribute to Social Security, don’t contribute to an 401k, don’t advance salary wise, and you’ll possibly never catch up. Even if your spouse supports you, the system is against you. And if your marriage fails, you can be screwed if you were out of the workforce for a decent chunk of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 01:41 AM
1

Nope, but since many do successfully that’s a perfect job to let go when/if the dire prediction of lack of workers from the falling birth rate issue that predominates this sub comes true.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 12:35 AM
5

Well, I think that professional women very often don’t want to lose their professional footing and also very much enjoy their jobs. I was one of just a few SAHMs in my social circle. Many working friends told me that as much as they loved their kids they would go stir crazy being with them all day every day. In retrospect being a SAHM for as long as I was has been a huge hit financially and professionally, and I wish I had been part-time for the majority of those years.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 12:23 AM
8

And somehow the whole rest of the country manages just fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 11:53 PM
3

Haha. You are such a troll. There is no safety risk. The 49 other states disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 11:48 PM
5

Was this at the man’s insistence? Plenty of professional women choose to continue working.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 11:43 PM
8

Nope. Parts of the U.S. are overpopulated. Too much congestion and traffic, even with all the WFH.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 11:42 PM
1

Let people in New Jersey pump their own gas and just like that you remove the need for thousands of workers. There are so many economies that could be found if there were fewer people available to do jobs.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 11:37 PM
5

The world population just keeps growing. Enough. I would like my part of the world less populated. If you can do things more efficiently you don’t need as many people doing them. And by no means are all jobs essential.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 11:16 PM
-1

Why? I sometimes can’t find someone and am happy to be single rather than mismatched.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 09:33 PM
1

Some of us don’t want to meet people IRL. To find the right combo of religion, politics, and intellectualism - to say nothing of any other factors like height, looks, wealth, parent status, fitness, ANYTHING - narrows the pool by 99% for me. I don’t want to waste my time meeting incompatible people. If most people or lots of people appeal to you, then meeting in person is a reasonable option.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 07:07 PM
-1

Okay. Is that a bad thing? It’s still a time saver for both parties.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 06:09 PM
3

If you don’t want a woman asking you in person about your height and income range, or alternatively, religion and politics, or whatever, the best solution is to have those be a filter in the app. People can want what they want. It’s a timesaver. I have young kids at home. Many guys in my age range have older kids and don’t want the restrictions that younger ones bring. Some guys are looking for someone with a lot of free time to give them, which I don’t have. If guys read my profile they wouldn’…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 05:07 PM
5

The apps don’t do a good enough job of allowing you to filter on all the list items. If they did, you would only match with more compatible people. And when you met, you wouldn’t feel like you needed to get more info.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 10:00 PM
2

You don’t bail on a marriage because you’re temporarily unhappy with the marriage. It’s that you are unable to ever be happy again. People keep telling you this but you don’t seem to understand. And if you are single, it’s simply not possible to experience the level of unhappiness you do when you have to live every day with someone you don’t want to be with. I know from experience. Divorce is a pain in the ass. It’s expensive, draining, time-consuming. You have to separate everything and buy a d…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 10:09 PM
18

I don’t think these are comparable. A spouse is not a child. It’s not the same relationship. A disabled child needs care. An able-bodied spouse doesn’t need the same. Also if I’m miserable chances are they are too. We’re just supposed to both be unhappy because we’re supposed to prioritize some other thing other than our happiness? Being unhappily partnered is not a “challenge”. It sounds like you think people should be miserable just because they made a bad decision or their spouse changed or t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 01:56 AM
21

Not the person you’re replying to, but I’d say there’s a responsibility to really give it your best effort. But ultimately you shouldn’t be required to be unhappy the whole rest of your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 01:05 AM
1

No. It mostly means that that they are not attracted to you. You can be the most amazing, wonderful person but attraction has to be there. It can also means that your interests, personalities, values, and wants are not compatible enough, because a relationship requires more of this than friendship. And it’s not a case of not being good enough. It’s not being compatible enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 12:14 PM
6

Men are really primarily concerned with how she looks. They often don’t care about the rest. This doesn’t mean they are more virtuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 08:11 PM
–

I believe that sleeping with dozens of guys, mostly while in a relationships, has been extremely beneficial to me personally, because it took that long to find one really fabulous at sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 07:36 AM
1

Go out to a restaurant, festival, shopping mall, hiking trail. There are couples of all ages everywhere. This sub is not reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 12:20 AM
1

There is no tax solution. There really aren’t tax advantages in the U.S. for being married. Why would people in a relationship but not married deserve something extra? Further, people would just check the box to get the benefit and it’s not like the IRS,which is already underfunded, is going to go around investigating relationship history.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/25 11:25 AM
–

Single women absolutely get told they’re too picky. Generally they ignore this advice. No woman wants a guy who will take almost anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 04:53 AM
1

I don’t see how it’s either, honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 11:08 AM
-2

I don’t think it has anything to do with gender roles. I think women are afraid the guy might not be long-term content with them and miss having sex with a man/ dick. I never really thought about it so much before but the guy I’m dating is bi. He’s mentioned a possible threesome down the line and I’m much more down with the idea of another guy than another woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 11:22 PM
4

Hmm. Don’t you think that people without experience tend to wonder what else is out there? And why is the beta guy boring? Is he not an interesting person? Why can’t their life together be exciting and adventurous? How much is dealing with annoying exes an actual issue?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 08:36 AM
1

But why would a woman seriously date the settle guy earlier?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 08:06 AM
1

It seems like the single men here spend all day on this sub lamenting their single hood. I just read misery.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 03:21 AM
3

You are referring to a “fuck buddy” or a one-time hookup.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 12:05 PM
6

Because so many men swipe right on nearly every woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 02:22 AM
3

So the woman can come here and date another woman or find a hot guy? She doesn’t have to pick someone off some preapproved list?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 06:45 PM
14

Interesting. I like romance novels. I also like true crime. I also like Scandanavian noir. I don’t really consider any of these relevant to my everyday existence. Male romance-novel protagonists simply don’t exist IRL. I don’t want crime in my life. I’ve only spent a week in Scandinavia. So I really think some things are just escapes and our lives in no way revolve around them just because we find them compelling to read about or watch.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 06:26 PM
3

What if they choose to date a woman or a Chad from work? Does she have to show proof to the government that she’s had sex with the person a certain number of times?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 03:23 PM
3

Are we also going to import good looking, educated men from abroad to give women better dating options?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 03:14 PM
2

So we’re going to import woman for the sole purpose of being available to potentially date and marry men here? If they’re here and can earn a living, what incentive would they have?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 03:12 PM
0

My part of the county is overpopulated. We need to leverage AI to deal with a shrinking workforce.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 03:09 PM
7

If we have similar interests and personalities and get along, that’s what creates the friendship. I don’t care if she’s a sex worker. But wanting a lot of money in order to buy expensive shit is something I don’t relate to at all, so I don’t think we’d be compatible yo begin with. I don’t have a single friend who prioritizes money to buy expensive stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 01:05 AM
1

Why do I have to sacrifice my life to prove harmony between different people is possible? Why on earth would I do that? I am HAPPILY divorced, my kids are HAPPILY living with me, and I don’t want to prove anything to anybody. I want to have sex with guys I’m attracted to if we both feel like it, and possibly get into a serious relationship one day if the compatibility and attraction align. But there’s a lot of stuff I’m not willing to put up with and I’m very happy to be single. I don’t owe anyo…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 02:44 PM
2

I have no use for peace and love from the wrong person. I am happy without a SO. I have friends and other family. I make my own peace. Being stuck with someone I don’t love in a romantic sense is soooooo much worse than being alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 02:37 PM
3

It can happen over time but there is nothing you can do to make it happen. It either does ir doesn’t happen. You can’t work hard at it to get a particular outcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 02:33 PM
4

I don’t see them in a different light. I can’t actively make that happen. It does not work like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 02:31 PM
3

Normal people are not disgusting by and large. Having sex with someone you’re not attracted to is disgusting. If exposure was relevant then I would want to have sex with my boss, my male coworkers, my male friends. I. do. not. I would not even want to have sex with my close male friends who are good looking. No. No. No. This is all delulu.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 02:29 PM
5

Hello? Exposure therapy is for phobias. It may treat my fear of spiders. It does not make you attracted to someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 12:58 PM
5

No, they are not.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 11:45 AM
5

If this worked I would want to fuck my friends. I absolutely do not.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 11:43 AM
6

Gross!! Absolutely not.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 11:41 AM
1

People don’t get the perfect mate. If you’re not attracted to your partner, don’t be with them. Doesn’t matter how nice they are. Who wants to be sexual with someone they’re not attracted to? And you can’t talk yourself into attraction by extolling someone’s virtues.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 11:37 AM
–

Then crusade against circumcision. That’s a bodily autonomy issue. My son is not circumcised. I believe it’s a form of genital mutilation. Circumcision rates in the US have dropped in the recent past. Having to pay for a child that your sperm created is not an innuendo of bodily autonomy. Unless the sperm was forcibly taken out of you without your consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 01:06 AM
–

No, because the child needs the support of two parents and the government aka taxpayers don’t want that responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 01:01 AM
–

Yes, because becoming a parent or not is simply the consequence of her continuing the pregnancy in her body. That’s just how it is. Once the sperm is in her body and there’s no magical way to get it back, it’s out of the man’s hands. We only get to decide about our own bodies. A kid is entitled to the support of both parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 01:00 AM
–

Neither party can put a child up for adoption without the other party’s consent. If the woman has the baby with the understanding that she and the father are on the same page about giving it up, and he changes his mind, then she is liable for child support. The child is entitled to the support of both parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 12:55 AM
–

A man can get welfare and child support too depending on his and the mom’s income and the custody arrangement.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 12:53 AM
–

If there is a child, both parent are required to support it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 12:51 AM
–

I’m not arguing for anything. I’m saying I see Latino men doing the hard jobs. You keep not addressing your own comment about how superior white men are and how rough they have it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 03:04 AM
–

Around here it’s all Latino men doing the tough jobs. And no, white men are in no way superior to anyone else. Such outrageous, unwarranted arrogance.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 10:41 PM
1

Ah, pure racism! Got it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 09:27 PM
1

What does that mean? You have a genetic advantage being a while male? Or you have a privilege advantage?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 09:17 PM
1

So are white men simply superior in some way that justifies their disproportionate inclusion in upper management, or are have they had some unfair advantage? Or is there a 3rd scenario?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 09:06 PM
0

You mean how white men still hold a disproportionately high percentage of leadership positions in top companies, but not as high as before? Because any other group wanting to be treated fairly counts as discrimination against the white man? Because the white man losing an unfair advantage counts as discrimination? The US tax code does not consider gender AT ALL. There isn’t a place to put it on a 1040 because it’s totally irrelevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 10:39 AM
0

He has it uniquely bad? Corporations have use for anyone with money to spend. The government has use for anyone who pays taxes. Aside from general goodwill, who really cares specifically about anyone other than friends and family?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 03:27 PM
13

Wait. What? You mean that you don’t have large, wild animals running loose that need to be speared?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 11:01 PM
3

Did someone tell you it’s your job to be in the army?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 10:58 PM
–

No it’s not your job and this whole protection thing is weird to me. I’ve never had a guy “protect” me or needed anyone to protect me. In a dangerous situation I wouldn’t want anyone I care about unnecessarily jeopardizing their well-being.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 10:02 PM
1

And the benefits of the contract of marriage — and I can only talk about the U.S. here — are largely related to taxes, inheritance in absence of a will, making medical decisions, hospital visitation, being able to be included in employer medical plans, increased Social Security options.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 08:07 PM
1

Yes. When people refer to the benefits of marriage for men, they generally mean it in the sense of being the opposite of being single and living alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 07:59 PM
1

No. The noise downstairs is the cat knocking something over or the chinchilla jumping around and never an intruder. Besides which, going down to confront a suspected intruder would be an idiot move.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 06:43 PM
0

That was my point.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 06:39 PM
9

I became the default person in charge of everything when we moved in. I know other women who feel the same, do the lion’s share of the work related to the house while also working full-time. I ended up helping my ex with all sorts of business and personal stuff too, while handling all of my own on my own. It’s great that your husband does so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 04:39 PM
5

Men get the benefits of marriage already if the couple is living together. So little incentive to marry. It’s the living together in a romantic relationship part of marriage that benefits men.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 02:53 PM
1

Abortion is plenty of a consequence. It’s not a headache pill. Woman are only able to decouple sex and parenthood because it’s their body that gets pregnant. That’s just anatomical reality that you can’t change and you need to accept. If anatomy and physiology worked differently, then you’d have your wish. Things aren’t the same for men and women because men and women are not the same. Abortion isn’t natural. Birth control pills aren’t natural. Lots of things aren’t. When we don’t have medical o…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 02:53 PM
0

It was his choice to engage in the activity that created the child. He doesn’t have to like natural consequences. They happen anyway. He got his semen in her, and now he says, Hey woman get an abortion, Hey government pay up. I’m off the hook here because I don’t like the highly predictable consequence of my action. Woe is me! Man wants an option for zero accountability while getting to enjoy sex. That’s not how it works nor how it should work.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 12:56 PM
2

That makes the taxpayer responsible for the man’s choice to have sex. HE created the child.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 11:58 AM
1

Your argument was the cost, not the nature of the offense. But if you want to talk about the nature of the offense, willfully refusing to pay child support does not belong in the same category as having other types of debt, especially medical debt. For this reason it is not discharged on bankruptcy. You don’t want to be a father? Too bad. You created the child. You don’t get to impregnate someone and then insist she get an abortion.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 11:49 AM
1

Where is the government going to get $50 k per year per child? In the US about half the population doesn’t even earn 50k per year.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 07:32 AM
11

It costs more to jail someone for stealing a thousand dollars worth of goods than it does for the government to just pick up the tab. Why doesn’t the government just stop prosecuting theft? How about fraud? If I only cheat someone out of a few thousand dollars why should I go to jail? The government should just pay it so that I can keep working and paying taxes and contributing to the economy and not have to pay my room and board in prison. OP’s logic is beyond effed up. These pills are leading …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 07:23 AM
1

Interesting. So both are pretending that she feels a certain way and this makes it possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 06:13 PM
1

No. Because by the definition above you could be having sex with a prostitute. She could be financially desperate and revolted by you, but that still counts as sex. What part of “only doing it for cash payment” implies love and desire?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 05:56 PM
1

So the importance of sex is not orgasm or ejaculation? Nor is it any type of feeling like love or being desired? It’s specifically having your sexual organs in contact with another human’s?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 04:53 PM
1

How do you define sex? Do masturbation and fleshlights count?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 04:14 PM
6

Just sex with someone who is attracted to you and wants to have sex with you, without love, is way different to me than someone who won’t do it unless you pay them. It’s just such a massive ick factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 03:46 PM
11

Haha. Maybe, although I think chefs generally love to cook. There’s a difference between providing an everyday service and getting naked and letting someone stick their dick in you. Do you personally equate cooking for someone and letting them stick their dick in you as comparable?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 03:16 PM
33

I don’t oppose sex work as long as the woman is not being exploited. As a completely side issue, I’m fascinated that men can even enjoy sex with someone who will only do it for money.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 07:46 AM
10

No one needs to settle. You can stay single. If you’re not enthusiastic about someone why would you pretend otherwise?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 10:51 PM
3

Dude, the 32 vs 28 % is taken directly from the bar graph in #1. Item no 3 in the article says, in quotes: “The percentage of single Americans who are looking for a relationship or casual dates is lower than in 2019, especially among men.”
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 01:34 PM
9

“The percentage of single Americans who are looking for a relationship or casual dates is lower than in 2019, especially among men”
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 09:11 AM
26

Women dating older men doesn’t translate to 3 women sharing one man, as the post asserts.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 09:09 AM
72

The research you cite says that 32% of men and 28% of women are single. This in no way supports your idea that 3 women share the same man. The research also clearly says that single people by and large are not looking for a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 08:59 AM
–

How could a man’s “need” for sex be structurally supported? Would social validation actually help? If everyone just said “Yeah, it really sucks to not have this need met”, would that actually help? Or do you expect women to put out as part of the package?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 08:15 AM
–

You seem to not understand this issue. I’m not going to boycott every male-owned business and I don’t know a woman who does. It’s not practical. It IS practical to support female-owned businesses when a viable, or nearly-viable option exists. If you want to talk about the predominantly male power structure than harms women, that’s a separate issue. Decentering focuses on personal interactions. I don’t interact personally with the CEO of Reddit. That I don’t even know who he is is good evidence t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 01:32 PM
–

No. It’s that they don’t care. It’s not relevant. Using Reddit benefits them. Engaging with the average guy in an interpersonal way doesn’t. They are being practical and making choices to maximize their happiness.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 01:20 PM
–

No. Because boycotting men means investing time in finding out the owner of every large or tiny company you patronize and locating a suitable replacement. Is this restaurant owned by a man? Is there a woman who can come fix my emergency plumbing or HVAC problem? Decentering men means you just don’t engage when they present themselves. It’s a no-effort approach. A guy asks you out, you decline; a guy negs you, you ignore; a guy compliments your photo on Insta, you just keep scrolling the comments…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 01:13 PM
–

Women decenter men in a way that benefits them. That’s the whole point. It’s about improving your life. It doesn’t benefit me to stop shopping at Amazon. It does benefit me to not engage with a lot of men personally. I do tend to choose female providers often when there is an equal option. But business transactions are business, not personal.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 01:03 PM
5

My kids are the best thing that ever happened to me and I don’t give a rat’s ass if a man doesn’t find me attractive. Is a man some sort of prize? Regardless, the moms I know are totally hot. Ragebait.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 10:57 AM
1

Married couples just spend their money on other things.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/25 04:16 PM
1

I have full custody of my kids, so yes. But just dating. I’m not looking to be a stepmom or to have a stepfather to my kids, and plan on never marrying again.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 01:38 PM
5

Kids need doctor, dentist, and orthodontist appointments. They need permission slips and school supplies and help with nightly homework. They want play dates and activities like sports, music, scouting, which are all good for them. They get invited to birthday parties and need gifts and a card. They need someone home with them when they’re sick. They need new clothes for every season because they grow like weeds, and new shoes every year. They need their laundry done so that they have the correc…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 09:45 PM
3

As a woman who hit the alleged wall a decade ago, I can tell you that it is no impediment to relationships. Do you know how many divorced guys there are out there? You think the only reason people form relationships is to have a family? At a certain point men don’t want children or don’t want more children, and a younger woman who wants a baby is an absolute no.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 11:57 AM
10

Not her either, but I wanted my kids to have a stable family and I didn’t realize how much work my husband was going to be. After you have kids and your own house and you’ve created a new life for yourself, I think many women find that there are more disadvantages than advantages to remarriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 12:33 AM
3

They can’t tell? Is the woman enthusiastic or not?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 12:31 PM
3

Hi. No, my expectations aren’t very different, I don’t think. There is a subset of guys out there who think I’m beautiful. It’s small and it baffles me, but I’ve been pursued by good looking professional guys over more attractive women, and been in LTRs with them, enough times that I acknowledge it’s real. If a guy would treat me as lesser then I know right away he’s not for me. It’s really a gift to get the “biased” treatment. It tells you you’re being settled for. So if a guy fears he’s being …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 08:37 PM
4

Not bad. Just useless. Pretty privilege is a thing. And relationships are not a thing you can yell “bias” over. It’s not a job interview.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 07:54 PM
6

I am unironically asking you why you think a discussion is needed over someone who another person is attracted being treated differently and having their words and actions interpreted differently than someone they’re not attracted to. It’s not a job interview, it’s a personal relationship. As an average looking woman I don’t expect the same leeway and interpretation that a really attractive woman gets. I can’t get away with the same behavior. At all. I don’t get the same treatment. That’s just l…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 07:51 PM
1

I don’t think so. I’ve learned exactly what my bf likes and doesn’t like, and it certainly wasn’t all intuitive and it took a while to master.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 07:09 PM
9

Why is it important to discuss it? What do you hope to accomplish?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 06:33 PM
–

I find that people who have well thought out profiles are more likely to manage the conversation well. And I’d rather be disappointed than try to make something work with someone who isn’t a great match.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 02:42 PM
4

I don’t have photos of nor do I mention fishing, music, food, travel, height, yoga or any series.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 10:40 PM
1

Looks spot on to me. Or are these guys using a net? 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 10:37 PM
4

So you stick a hook through an animal’s mouth for fun and then throw it back? I’ve never understood this. Are there other animals that you stab and trap for fun? I think profiles would be more successful if they showed caring for wildlife.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 09:33 PM
11

And you’re free to be critical and swipe left. No double standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 08:57 PM
0

I don’t particularly like fish or fishing and definitely don’t want the day’s catch on the dinner table. I definitely don’t have any interest in fishing as a hobby. Maybe it’s the equivalent of me holding up a crochet project in my profile. There are other things that indicate being outdoorsy or environmentally-oriented. The fishermen I know aren’t particularly green. If it were a guy holding up a tiny bagged fish from the pet store, then we’re talking.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 08:55 PM
3

I prefer the Honda guy. I am a Honda gal. I wouldn’t choose a more expensive car even if I had the money.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 04:33 PM
3

I wouldn’t not date a guy so emotionally repressed. So I do know that they don’t care.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 02:05 PM
2

This doesn’t happen. Guys don’t care. And I wouldn’t put up with that at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 11:49 AM
4

No. Feminist guys date me and “immodest” women like me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 08:30 AM
4

Perhaps not for you, dawg, but you’re not the only kind out there. Attractiveness is subjective and attraction is your own personal reaction to another person. And neither one is fixed. There is no issue of “performing”, but of two people naturally connecting.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 06:40 PM
3

Nonsensical reply at work.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 05:58 PM
1

Geez. That’s horrible. I’m sorry that happened to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 03:42 PM
7

Right. And what’s more, the interpretation here is that women don’t swipe on a man because he’s not physically attractive. But is there some evidence that that’s the reason? Are there no other factors at play? I swipe left on plenty of guys I’d otherwise swipe right on if I liked their bio. I find that more than half of guys have basically the same bio with somewhat different wording.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 02:53 PM
3

I find bios extremely helpful. I would never swipe on a guy if he didn’t have one or what I read didn’t jive with me. Overall I don’t find them to be fake. Some are really well thought out. But I really like people who are good with words and writing. I haven’t yet met someone whose profile wasn’t very largely accurate.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 02:45 PM
12

30% is huge. Say you have a deck of 500 profiles (not that you know how many guys there are to look through because apps don’t tell you). 30% is 150 potential matches. I find that insane. Dating apps are a place to be extremely selective otherwise you’re overwhelmed. If only guy was matched by more than 80% that tells me the women DID have different preferences. My swipe rate is less than 1% and it’s not because of ugliness. I know how many profiles are in my area in a 20mile radius because I’ve…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 02:33 PM
46

This is spot on. The middle is a huge area. I find most guys to be decent looking, but they don’t hold any appeal for me unless I find them interesting. They I perceive them as much better looking, even hot af depending on how well we jibe.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 02:25 PM
7

I had my kids late. They aren’t any more embarrassed by me than their friends are by their parents. And the generation gap happens at any parenting age. I got to establish a career, plump up a 401k early (which is a huge advantage), do fun things and TRAVEL. Travel is not the same with kids. You can get testing done for lots of genetic problems. Stop fear mongering.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 08:05 PM
–

Having experience with lots of different women gives a guy a lot of things to try with the current one. Knowing lots of different positions and where they hit is amazing. I’ll take experienced any day.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 07:58 PM
7

I think it’s great. He probably learned a lot of cool things that we can do together. I benefit from this. If things calm down after a year or so I just chalk that up to getting older, changing preferences, that wilder ways sometimes simply become tamer over time, and that that particular experimental time has passed. As long as our sex life is fun and mutually fulfilling, I’m happy. I’ve also done things in the past that I’ve grown out of. My bf is amazing in bed and I thank all the women who c…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 09:21 AM
2

Many of the studies? Where specifically is this? I just see every study resulting in men having worse reactions that the women have to deal with.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 09:09 AM
2

So the issue seems to be that men decide to engage in bad behavior when they’re not the breadwinner. Basically, men have a temper tantrum and act out and that’s why the relationship falters. Boo hoo fucking hoo. So your point is that women should allow men to be the breadwinner and should devote themselves to the grocery shopping just so their overgrown toddler spouses don’t have meltdowns??? Are you actually serious?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 03:36 AM
-2

Maybe the conversation wasn’t that interesting. Maybe she didn’t think there was enough in common. That there was some initial interest doesn’t mean much.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 10:50 PM
2

How specifically do they not fare well?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 12:14 PM
2

Why is being the modern breadwinner analogous to being the difficult resource provider? Having worked and been a SAHM, I find working easier. Modern men don’t need strength to drag an elk back to camp. A lot of modern employment requires mental, not physical, ability as well as juggling many things at once. If the men were out focused on hunting and the women were gathering, cooking, cleaning, keeping the kids from falling into the fire, wouldn’t they be better adapted to modern work?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 12:11 PM
5

Hardly ever. I like guys who are well read, cultured, and witty.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 02:45 AM
1

I didn’t generalize. OP is not a woman and is also not demisexual. Some men are. Women mostly distinguish between someone being attractive and feeling attraction to that person.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 12:20 PM
4

Not. Dating and romance is for every age. So many people 40 and up on dating apps. Dating in the years since my divorce has been about equal parts excitement and passion versus shit show. Wasted time? You act like people get into a relationship young and stay there forever. Bumble has in the high hundreds number of guys in my dating age range in an 18-mile radius, most of whom were married once. Romance only needs to end when you’re dead.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 02:44 AM
2

A different demographic, I guess. Or just a different personal experience. I’m older and I don’t know any woman in my life who would say this. My son is a high schooler and he has lots of girls showing interest in him - starting convos out of nowhere, asking if he has a girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 06:20 PM
2

I don’t think it has anything to do with ego. It could be discomfort with doing something they don’t have experience with. It could be that they worry it makes them look bad/overly forward. It could be that they think that the guy will be more likely to give them attention without actually liking them because he knows they’re really interested. There are lots of explanations.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 04:18 PM
6

Consider as most important. OP is upset that women in his tier of attractiveness or 1-2 below haven’t dated him. And he defines this by “objective” standards. He doesn’t even mention any other qualities. A woman is like a grade of beef.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 08:50 AM
2

I’ve known quite a lot on a deep level. A partner is someone you have to get along well with, live amicably with, spend lots of time with, enjoy (or not) having conversations with, feel supported and understood (or not), hopefully for the long haul. Prioritizing attractiveness over all else seems insane to me, honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 08:43 AM
4

I’m with you. I don’t relate to assessing people based on how much other people want them. I want someone super compatible with me. If a guy doesn’t share my values and have somewhat similar interests, it doesn’t matter how “high status” he is.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 08:36 AM
1

Is this all a woman is? A level of attractiveness? Is all the rest so much the same among all women that her level of attractiveness is the priority?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 08:29 AM
7

Good grief. This stratification of people into levels and classifying them into tiers based on what other people think/do is so outrageous. How about assessing people in terms of actually important things, like how compatible you are?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 07:56 AM
4

I was not attracted to him and I did initially consider him too unattractive to ever date. But let’s also be clear that acknowledging someone as attractive and being attracted to them are two entirely different things. You are not a woman and clearly not a demisexual and just because things are so black and white for you doesn’t mean they are so for everyone else. Looks are going to give you a happy LTR relationship. Nor will big boobs. Unless someone really is that vapid.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 06:55 PM
3

Not necessarily. I find the physical attraction can grow over time. I’ve ended up madly in love with and wildly attracted to guys who I had zero attraction to to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 04:03 PM
12

This is idiocy. I’m looking for a decent-looking, liberal, non religious, indoorsy, reading guy who is smart and witty and culturally/arts inclined and makes a decent living. And no, I might not fall in love with every guy who meets this. But given an abundance of positive of character traits and a dearth of negative ones, there’s a pretty decent chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 12:35 PM
2

What problem? That there are guys who aren’t successful dating? That women aren’t wanting to date the guys you think they should be?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 06:34 PM
20

Right? I’m raising both my son and daughter to be independent, resourceful, responsible, accountable, proactive, and to make good decisions about their friends and future romantic partners. And that they don’t need a relationship. Everyone else I know is doing the same with their kids. “Well, honey, it’s okay to fail out of school because you can always secure a low-value partner later on,” said no one I know, ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 06:13 PM
12

Worthwhile romantic relationships are not competitive environments. If I’m in love with my partner and happy, no one “better” in any criteria is going to sway me from him. Girls are not told they are the prize and are not rewarded for mediocrity any more than boys. People are free to pursue any partner they want. It’s outrageous to think anyone should go after anyone based on what some random other thinks is “compatible.” If a woman would rather be alone than not get the guy she really wants, so…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 06:01 PM
2

Sorry! I totally misread.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 01:04 PM
6

No. Politics is a dealbreaker for many.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 12:22 PM
5

He can’t be just really unattractive. But as long as he’s decent looking, if he and I really connect I’ll soon be all over him.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 11:08 PM
8

I have to be crazy about him as a person. He doesn’t have to look any particular way.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 10:17 PM
5

No. You are doing it so that you yourself are happier with your appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 08:09 PM
9

You do things FOR YOURSELF.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 07:53 PM
2

I have never had this conversation with any of my friends. I have no idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 11:03 AM
1

I look at attractive people of both sexes just because it’s human nature to look at attractive things. I have zero interest in the attractive guy. He does nothing for me sexually. I may just notice him more than others. No biggie. I’ll look longer at an attractive woman because there’s no danger or misunderstanding there.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 07:41 PM
2

Ridiculous. I don’t think rewriting profiles pays very well and I have zero interest in trying to create a business. I get enough satisfaction with side writing. I already make good money doing something I love and studied quite a lot for. And no, it’s not dishwashing ffs.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 12:45 AM
4

No. That’s a weird take. It means I’m a humanitarian and would help for free or minimal pay. And only on the side because I’d never give up my job to do this.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 11:38 AM
2

I could totally write the average Bumble guy a much better profile. Most of them are so uninteresting and generic. I don’t know that I’d be rich but my profile is very unique and I’m a pretty good writer.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 04:28 AM
2

You entered the contract. Maybe you should have gotten a pre-nup. Maybe you should have insisted your partner get a job. Maybe you should cut your losses and divide the marital assets now, because when your partner finds out down the road that you’re cheating there will be even more marital assets to divide.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 12:13 AM
7

Not at all. Give me a guy doing math, playing a board game, snuggling a cat, doing yoga, killing a crossword.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 09:09 PM
4

There’s your answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 12:16 PM
12

Yes, enormously. Does your dick feel good prior to orgasm?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 11:17 AM
2

For me it’s an immediate swipe left.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 05:33 PM
7

None of this is necessary to find a decent guy and get married, if that’s what you want. If you want to do such things for yourself, great. But not for the end of “securing” a guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 07:38 PM
6

I’m not taken aback. At all. I am totally unbothered. And I find it totally reasonable. My point is that you can simply not get any matches from a swipe session. I don’t swipe on an excessive number of guys at once. I wait to see if anything happens. If I had swiped on 12 instead of 6 and gotten 10 matches, then I’d be one of the women being complained about here.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 04:03 AM
2

I’ve gotten far less at times. I’m back on Bumble after several months and have gotten no matches after swiping on 6 guys. Maybe they aren’t active. Maybe I don’t fit their search requirements. Maybe they don’t like something about my profile. Who knows. I’ll just try again.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 03:53 AM
2

You don’t necessarily get the matches immediately. Unless the guy has already seen you. You do the swiping and that puts you at the top of their deck they have to swipe on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 03:46 AM
4

There is no “maybe” option so you have to pick yes or no. You don’t see all potential matches at once to pick the ones who prefer the most. You are making a decision on one person without seeing the rest. I think it’s the design of the apps where you can’t circle back that is largely responsible for this.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 03:42 AM
1

Not all guys swipe right on you and you may not even be in their queue to swipe on depending on how they’ve set their filters.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 03:36 AM
3

How are cheaters rewarded? That they’re able to do what they want and not be shunned by the community at large? People probably disapprove but they aren’t going to make huge efforts to punish the offender. They have their own lives and problems. I think that people absolutely feel for the victims is cheating and treat them gently. But ultimately they have to move forward with their lives and be their own advocate, so being sad has to coexist with re-creating your life. Ultimately we can’t contro…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 02:49 PM
6

People can generally divorce for any reason or no reason. And even if the other partner opposes the divorce and makes your life hell, you can move in with your new partner while still being legally married. Infidelity is not the reason for anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 11:24 AM
–

Well the programs have teams that are full. The cost is its own issue but there is no lack of demand. There’s plenty of rec for those who want cheap. 40% is a good number when you consider that there are other types of activities to do as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 01:50 AM
–

The number of youth sports programs has exploded in the past few decades. I dint know about watching sports but 40% of kids/teens play some sport. I don’t see that as disinterest.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 01:22 AM
1

This where I intended my reply to go…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 05:05 PM
-2

As I already described above.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 04:59 PM
0

Increasingly from the point where we’ve met and are dating. Not from the start. They only are attentive with texting in the beginning and then that drops off. I feel like I always put in more effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 04:50 PM
6

I buy his favorite beer and bourbon. I offer to drop off food and pick up rxes when he’s not feeling well. I text good morning messages and all sorts of affection. I give very tailored gifts for holidays because I pay attention to what he likes. I plan fun dates. I ask about his day, work, family, friends, and demonstrate extreme interest in his life. I vacuum his house while he takes his long showers to try to help with his allergies.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 04:35 PM
11

I’ve rejected that possibility. $10 flowers from Trader Joe’s every once in a while from a guy earning well should not be economically unviable. It’s a small thing. I am also a gift giver of small things. Also, effort doesn’t cost any money. It’s just allocating time to do so.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 11:21 AM
25

I would love it if a guy I was dating would buy me a $10 bouquet of Trader Joe’s flowers every once in a while. Where are all these guys that buy gifts and expend such effort? I pick guys who I think have a lot in common with me, who aren’t hot by objective standards. They start off extremely enthusiastic (in words) but end up giving me crumbs after I’ve totally fallen for them. My attention, affection and effort turn out only very minimally returned. I want to be one of these average women.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 09:02 AM
10

“Logical” is a weird word choice. In reality, people change and grow apart. Plenty of people claim to not find monogamy personally doable. Lots of people cheat.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 11:20 AM
1

Urban areas are more liberal. Data don’t prove or disprove. I don’t live close to lots of people suffering in the world. That doesn’t mean I don’t care and wouldn’t support them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 01:48 PM
1

It is absolutely not true that people are motivated by the pure self-interest you claim. It is absolutely not true that people don’t care about issues that don’t affect them personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 01:30 PM
1

Do you realize what a horrible self-indictment this is? You only care about things that directly affect you or someone close to you? Why care about how black people are treated if you’re not black? Why care about LBGQT issues if you’re straight? Why care about poor people if you’re financially comfortable? Life philosophy of “I only care about myself” is really reprehensible, not that such people care.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 12:46 PM
9

No case. No point. He was absolutely agitated when he said it. Not a joke.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/25 07:54 AM
3

At that time, statistician.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/25 07:50 AM
20

I’ve had guys fade away after realizing what job I do, how I speak, what I talk about, and how even how well I do the NYT puzzles. One even said to me out of the blue “I may not be smart, but I know how to fuck” Like, what?? Many are absolutely intimidated by smart women because they feel inferior. They want to be the smarter ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 10:54 PM
4

Women don’t really think about this. The whole “value” seems to have originated from the pill sphere.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 02:53 PM
2

Wouldn’t eat it, don’t want it, don’t want the reminder of my ex in my space. No way no how. Just leave me alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 02:31 PM
5

The idea of divorce is to cut the connection as entirely as possible. There is a reason for the alimony, which is to allow the SAHP to get reestablished in the workforce. There is no need for one person to be preparing and delivering food to the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 02:30 PM
16

Divorce is intended to allow you to cut all contact. Alimony is generally temporary and rehabilitative and sent electronically with zero contact between ex partners. Other posts explain well why alimony exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 05:15 AM
–

Yes, because the issue on r/deadbedroom is generally a lack of libido. I mentioned this sub to demonstrate that it’s not only men who want sex and aren’t getting it. Women there are starved for sexual intimacy as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 10:42 AM
–

The OP clearly thinks so. I think not. Not in a healthy relationship, that is. However when things go south in a relationship, people look for leverage to try to get their needs met, and it would appear that sex is often the best leverage. But when you are at the point of looking for leverage, anything can become transactional.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 10:34 AM
–

Is he doing his fair share of chores and emotional labor or not?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 07:47 AM
9

Perhaps she has tried different strategies and this is the most effective. And she probably doesn’t feel much desire to have sex anyway, as nothing kills desire like resentment. Not doing dishes at all isn’t going to work because the mess will bother her but not him. That’s how they got into this situation to begin with. How about he just do his fair share because he understands that’s he’s supposed to be an actual partner? Why is this so hard?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 07:22 AM
8

That’s right. Plenty of both genders on r/deadbedroom. The people there report trying everything, above and beyond being an actual functioning partner. If sex is transactional because she wants him to do chores and emotional labor, as per OP, that’s because she’s doing a disproportionate share and feels her best/only solution is to leverage sex. It’s a shame he can’t just do his part without this.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 06:55 AM
31

This is all BS. Dead bedroom can be a problem for both genders. “Deny” is not the appropriate word to use with sex EVER. If sex ends up being a reward system in a relationship it’s because the other person isn’t pulling their weight. OF COURSE he should be doing chores and doing emotional labor. WTF? Go to r/sex and you’ll see that porn is absolutely approved for all genders unless it’s excessive.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 06:07 AM
7

No kidding. The analogy above is simply grotesque. If you want bodily autonomy then you need to be putting out for whatever guy wants it, which in itself is an issue of lack of bodily autonomy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 09:54 PM
10

If you don’t like her style, don’t date her. She’s not your dress-up doll to put in a turtleneck to make you feel better.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 07:07 PM
–

Whoa! So you’re saying that these women killed themselves due to too much empowerment and too little patriarchy?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 12:58 PM
8

That’s a wild claim that women hate the current state of society and are extremely unhappy. The women I know are happy to be able to be independent, income-earning homeowners, if that’s what they choose.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 03:29 AM
2

You can absolutely do whatever you want. You can absolutely stay single if you can’t find a man at your income level, if that’s important to you. You absolutely can decline to approach men if you don’t want to. Empowerment means you can do what you choose. Men on this sub always pair the word “attractive” with “woman”. It astounds me the degree to which men are looking for an “attractive woman” and never use any other adjective. Women, on the other hand, want more than good looks in a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 03:16 AM
3

Seriously? The last draft was 52 years ago. You want women to conduct marches on something that has no current or recent impact? Furthermore, you want women marching when men don’t even march? This is ridiculous. People march and protest on the big, here-and-now issues. Why does this even need to be said?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 02:57 PM
0

This is a lot of gross suppositions. I know a lot of women who, like me, expect to split bills or take turns, want dual providers, oppose the draft altogether, and have no issue with opposite gender friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 02:49 PM
–

No way. Never ever buy a car you haven’t test driven, ladies.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 10:54 AM
0

No. I want other women to have already taught them skills. I’m too lazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 10:59 PM
1

No. Women don’t say this. No one has divine intuition. And I never hear a woman claim this. They do mind being manipulated and didn’t realize he wasn’t as he presented until the mask slipped. They were fooled. Did you read the comments that you are replying to?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 05:32 PM
0

Hello? You really think we all think the same way? This is kind of insulting. Of course you’re going to get advice all over the place because women tell you what they individually think and we don’t have hive mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 08:32 PM
1

No. Whether the man got his kicks and no longer cared is not relevant.And it has nothing to do with whether the woman was continually impressed with his outfit. Your comments make no sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 07:03 PM
1

I am talking about from the woman’s POV. The man’s mindset is not relevant to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 11:30 AM
5

Honestly, the guys here just largely seem to care that a woman is attractive. It’s like it’s the end-all, be-all. They don’t seem to care about much else, which still always surprises me. Women, on the other hand, do care about a lot of other things. Perhaps to some degree, also, women are appealing to men in their provider role. Men often like to feel that they’re providers and for that reason, a non-independent woman is not a turnoff. If men scoffed at these women and rejected them, things mig…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 11:12 AM
1

No. They are just messed up. It’s not related to brackets or embarrassment or doing better. This is such a guy take. It’s that they don’t know how to navigate conflict and run away, aren’t able to talk about emotions or sensitive issues in general, aren’t able to develop trust or experience vulnerability, and/or have had bad experiences in life that have closed them off. One guy told me he felt so inadequate because his ex wife had cheated on him with a real asshole just because he had a really …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 06:39 PM
0

I do, thanks for the suggestion. Being emotionally unavailable usually only reveals itself with time, and doesn’t relate to me. If they wore a scarlet EU then I’d avoid them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 12:20 PM
6

I love dating apps because I’m looking for something specific. I hate night clubs and bars. And don’t have a lot of free time. If I do, I meet up with friends in activities that don’t involve new people — lunch, movies. Just us catching up. How am I supposed to find someone who loves to stay at home and read by going out and socializing? Someone who’s quiet and introverted? Dating apps make guys known to me who would never cross my path and are more compatible with me than the ones who do. If yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 12:18 PM
4

Um, yes. An overt douchebag is easy to detect. But being a douchebag sometimes only reveals itself over time as the mask slips. The rest are pretty easy to detect.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 11:34 AM
2

No. You cannot imagine the guys of all ages who are not emotionally available. I’m older and it’s been a primary issue my whole dating life.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 11:27 AM
1

Why does it matter? What would happen? I don’t understand why this is a big deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 12:38 PM
1

What would happen? Don’t we all already know this? This seems within the range of normal to me. After all, men are always telling women how beautiful and hot they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 12:25 PM
12

No. My divorce was the third best thing to ever happen to me, after the birth of my 2 children. I managed to shake off the equivalent of 2 children in one fell swoop. My life became so much easier. Several months after he moved out I came down to the kitchen one morning and thought about making coffee. Then I realized that before there were occasions when I woke up and the coffee was already made. But that was the first and only thing I “missed” because I did basically everything. It’s why I’m h…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 07:38 PM
1

You have zero knowledge of my motives. You are pulling that out of your ass. It detracts from your credibility. I disagree with your assessment. And I 100% stand by what I said. Trying to bring you people to reason and reality is a lost cause. What a sub. We’ll just have to agree to disagree. And I’ll go enjoy my highly COMPATIBLE boyfriend - liberal, feminist, indoorsy, book reading, board game playing, non-overspending, investing oriented, no new kids wanting, medium energy, medium sociability…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 01:25 PM
6

Just compatibility, yes. Comparability and attraction together are required for a happy romantic relationship. Both.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 12:16 PM
4

Yes, but that relationship will be in the toilet sooner rather than later. She will not be happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 11:38 AM
3

No. Looks and status will not get you far. Can you live together happily as roommates? Can you live together happily as life partners? So you want similar things from life? Do you have the same values? Do your interests and hobbies and activities have overlap? Show me a hot rich guy who’s got little in common with me and I have ZERO interest. Men who don’t look at women except to see a number on a scale obviously have no idea whatsoever what I’m talking about. But compatibility and attraction ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 11:36 AM
15

Every woman I know wants a man she is compatible with. Looks and status aren’t what make a happy marriage. If that’s all you consider, chances are you’ll end up miserable. People aren’t as vapid as you make them out to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 10:46 AM
2

People in the suburbs have cars. Lack of transport is not the reason for isolation.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 03:54 PM
2

But there are literally tons of divorced guys for her to date. Being married doesn’t take everyone off the market forever. Everyone I’ve dated in my 40s has been divorced. It just didn’t work out for them, because finding a lifelong compatible partner is complicated, way more difficult than pairing up with your “looksmatch”.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 11:33 AM
1

wtf? What’s up with the constant cat hate? Cats are wonderful companions and I prefer mine to my ex.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 11:28 AM
–

Women who go after violent felons have serious issues. The vast majority of women don’t relate to this at all. Not being violent is a given for most women. It doesn’t earn your autistic guy any extra points.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 11:21 AM
–

Go for it, sir! Go after what you want. Most available guys out there your age either don’t want kids at all or already have kids of a certain age and don’t want to go back to the baby phase. As in, hell no. Kids are finally old enough for dad to make himself more of a priority. They are established and want a woman to be in a relationship who absolutely does not want to be pregnant. The relief when I tell them I simply could not get pregnant is palpable.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 12:10 AM
–

Haha no. As a post-40 woman I can tell you there are boatloads of guys in their 40s and 50s who are divorced and looking to kindle a new relationship. And with a woman my age. Someone they relate to. I could be going out with different guys all the time. I know that it gives you joy to think that women of a certain age are miserable, ugly, lonely hags, but that’s a complete invention. Cause you know, despite how good looking or interesting or successful a guy is, a large percentage of relationsh…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 11:38 PM
–

The world is overpopulated.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 11:17 PM
2

No. You are approaching this as a man. I don’t see that there are multiple types of attraction. At all. Attraction is attraction. Is how much pull you feel towards someone, how much they make your heart flutter, how much you want to have sex with them. Thinking someone is nice or thinking they look like David Beckham or whoever is not attraction. Attraction can be highly influenced by a variety of factors. Whether you look at someone and think “meh” or look at the same person and want to rip his…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 08:30 PM
1

That’s a wild take.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 06:51 PM
1

You are using the wrong words. Women want a partner they are attracted to. He may or may not be conventionally good looking and others may not think he’s good looking. Granted he’s probably not outright ugly. There are plenty of attractive guys out there but that doesn’t mean a woman will be attracted to them. I’m just baffled by this conversation. Wanting a partner that you’re attracted to is the requirement and it’s not superficial or shallow. On the reverse side, having sex with someone you’r…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 06:20 PM
2

Physical attraction is more than looks. So the ass and titties comparison doesn’t really work. It’s what pulls you to one person and not others even though others may be considered more attractive. Physical attraction is always essential. I’ve never felt a need to specify that I needed attraction because, well, duh? But physical attraction can also arise where it didn’t exist. Guys really think that women don’t care about attraction? If that’s the case, what’s the difference between a friend and…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:07 PM
4

Physical attraction is understood though. You don’t need to say that that physical attraction is important because it’s a given. No need to restate the givens. And physical attraction always refers to the actual feeling of attraction, as in your personal response to the other person and not some “objective” scale rating that a subreddit might assign them. It’s a requirement. That’s the difference between friends and partners. People want things on top of attraction. Those are the things they ver…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 02:59 PM
1

Disagree. Everyone can be sexually compatible with someone they aren’t otherwise compatible with. That’s just life.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 01:51 PM
2

Being kind and good isn’t enough. A woman generally has lots of kind and good people in her life. Her friends are kind and good. A relationship needs to provide more.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 06:55 AM
5

Considerate and kind isn’t enough. If you’re going to be in a LTR, he has to be interesting, you have to make each other laugh, you have to be sexually compatible. Why is this so hard to understand?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 06:53 AM
32

A good sense of humor and great sex are extremely important too. Women want both. Do they ever say they don’t want these things??
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 06:50 AM
1

My written standards are more exacting than my spoken ones because I have more time to think while writing.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 10:05 PM
–

I do see men getting manicures and pedicures nowadays much more so than 10 years ago. Some men are definitely nudging.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 12:51 PM
11

Book clubs are more fun with more people, and board games too. I’m happy to have friends to do most things with because relationships are so iffy. I’ve had very little turnover in friends, so I have reliable activity partners. I go hiking with the friends who really like hiking. I go ballroom dancing with the friends who really like ballroom dancing. Although I do love to do things with a partner, it works out better to center your activities around your friend network, who you’re hopefully less…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 11:01 PM
2

Meetup has a bunch of men’s groups in my area. You can start one if there isn’t anything in your area.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 03:47 AM
6

They tend to think that women are generally vapid and superficial and only care about looks. While I literally have a compatibility checklist.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/25 07:51 AM
5

It’s wholly untrue that most men don’t want us. OLD is full of guys legitimately wanting a relationship. I’ve met my share, had relationships of varying lengths. Most men want a real partner, not casual sex. I would prefer a partner who is my kindred spirit, but in the absence of that, I’ll happily stay single. No one is telling me to go my own way. I’m in no way bitter.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/25 07:47 AM
7

This. Different people in my life bring out different parts of my personality. I react to them differently. Any relationship has an interaction effect component.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 02:20 AM
16

My son has played on boys-only sports teams his whole life. Some of the dads play on men-only teams they organize. You are free to organize any men-only group you want. You can meet at a public space, a park, a restaurant, a cafe, someone’s house. What are you even talking about?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 10:05 PM
8

Haha. Disagree. As if it’s a question of opinion. Go take an experimental design class.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 01:05 PM
8

What value does that have? That some unknown percentage of people in a non-representative sample tell the truth? Useless.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 12:31 PM
3

This. Most women can’t have vaginal orgasms. (I’m repeating the above for the people in the back).
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 11:11 AM
11

And you think that this sub will give you a consensus? For real?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 11:10 AM
10

Reddit questions are not science in any way, shape or form.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 11:09 AM
2

The overturn is one step. Yes, abortions have increased overall and this is largely due to the increase in medical abortions prescribed via tele health visits with providers in non-ban states. It is far easier now to be prescribed abortion pills remotely. However there HAS been a small increase in birth rates in ban vs. nonban states. Biden’s FDA made abortion pills be available without an in-person visit. Trump’s could very well change that. What happens then? The fight is real and the threat i…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 05:45 AM
2

We have no idea how many women who have wanted an abortion weren’t able to get one, and no evidence that it’s “vanishingly small”. And it’s not like red states are all Republicans opposing abortion. There can be any number of millions of people who don’t agree. They just don’t make up the majority.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 04:13 PM
2

It doesn’t necessarily mean they failed by other means. It could mean they prefer a more efficient system. Approaching some random person just because they look good when there’s a 50% chance you’ll hate their politics and an even bigger chance that something will be a dealbreaker has always seemed an insane strategy to me. Bumble is the best, has made screening people so damn efficient, and I just can’t understand the contempt for dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 02:29 AM
1

If looking at median instead of mean, I’d say yes. But overall if we are just looking at heterosexual, monogamous pairings and hookups, the numbers need to match.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 12:41 AM
3

It’s pretty easy as a woman to be single and happy because you’ve cycled through enough relationships that you know what both sides look like. Plus, “single” isn’t some lifetime thing. You have had relationships in the past, you can have other relationships in the future. It’s not like the ship sails and that’s that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 08:38 PM
18

She’s just answering the question. I see no effort to convince anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 08:23 PM
10

I’m happy. I have a great job, kids, a cat (of course) interesting hobbies, great friends. I’ve never wanted a “top 1%” as insisted on by incels, nor do I want to be treated like a queen. I particularly love having my own house. Dates and sex are easy to get but I don’t really have much time for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 07:30 PM
3

She’s the one who has to carry a pregnancy 9 months in her body. That’s the difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 08:43 AM
10

Nope. Reproductive equality is a huge feminist issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 04:12 AM
22

Well abortion is no longer as much of a right as it used to be. Clearly the struggle continues.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 03:50 AM
–

Not all of them want the same thing because some of them complain that sex HURTS. They prefer smaller. There are frequent posts on r/sex from couples who can’t even have sex because it hurts too much. You think these women are happy about the size? So you’re just arguing for the sake of arguing then? There’s no solution to this issue in your mind? What if the term “small dick energy” was removed from the lexicon and women stopped bragging to their friends about their partner’s size? Would smalle…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 02:18 PM
–

Well you can “see” me saying that but I didn’t say it, so whatever. Insert the constantly used “women are not a monolith” statement here. How do you want women to respond when smaller men post online? There is no reply, apparently, that is acceptable. Say that different women have different preferences. They’re accused of lying. Say that good sex relates much more to skill than size. Get complaints that larger guys are never told to acquire more skill. Say that different vaginas are a better fit…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 02:10 PM
–

Your points aren’t that important, compared to the FACT that women enter relationships and are happy with less-endowed men all the time. If a guy with a bigger dick was online obsessing about his lack of sexual ability and making his partner happy, he’d get the same advice. I do believe that most women prefer larger but not huge. But not all women. That being said, what’s the deal acting like it’s the end all be all? It’s simply one factor in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 01:56 PM
–

Men who are larger also need to be good in bed because a larger dick probably still won’t give you an orgasm. Try being asexual or gay is ridiculous. Never heard that. Body shaming is a thing but it’s not like everyone does it. Consider the source. You can’t compare being happily married to be the reverse of someone referring to small dick energy. Even if a woman prefers larger, it’s one of many hundreds of factors. Geesh. Get over it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 01:47 PM
2

What actions? They fall in love with, have a great sex life with, and happily marry men who aren’t huge ALL THE TIME.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 01:15 PM
1

Teddy bear
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 11:06 PM
–

If so all the more reason to just stay single. No point in always wondering if he’s going to “upgrade” you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 03:02 PM
1

They live by their actions and they don’t do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 05:15 PM
2

Not my experience at all and I don’t know a single guy IRL who talks about “higher quality” women. As for the ones you’re referring to, all the better that he leaves you for someone “better” and hopefully as soon as possible. He has no real feelings toward you, probably is incapable of actual feelings, and the woman is better off without the loser.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 04:08 PM
3

My bf is pretty big and I love it. But I’m a change for him because most past relationships he’s been in, the women didn’t like how big he is. They took certain positions off the table (no way to doggy, for example) and he had to go very slowly and not all the way in and even then they said it hurt. So yeah, I do believe that most women don’t want a big dick.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 08:30 PM
3

That people might prefer to be coupled is one thing, but if they aren’t there’s a reason why. For lots of women it’s that they’re happier on their own than with any option that has presented itself or don’t even care to look. This is what feminism has brought women. Choice. I know lots of people with careers who are very happy with them. It is definitely sad though that not everyone loves what they do. I am a divorced single mom and am constantly so grateful for where I am in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 04:01 PM
2

Did you not read about what I said about attraction above? 2nd paragraph? That’s attraction. Being wildly attracted.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 03:48 PM
2

Looks don’t fade in your 30s. But there is a big difference from just wanting to have fun to actually wanting a life partner. They are two entirely different things and obviously the decisions are based on totally different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 03:41 PM
7

Lots of single women are out there supporting themselves and owning their own homes and enjoying their lives. Look at all the women who went to college and picked a career that suited them. I don’t think gender norms have ever been a good thing for women. It kept them chained to a man and never allowed them education and rewarding work. We are where we are because women weren’t happy with their role and options in life. It wasn’t the best for the majority. It screwed over half the population.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 03:38 PM
7

So values, where you choose to live, how you choose to live, how you raise kids, whether you have even have kids, how you spend money, how you handle conflict, whether she approves of your friends and hobbies, whether she treats you well, whether she’s controlling and high maintenance or totally chill, <continue list here> as long as she’s hotter than crazy, it doesn’t matter? That’s wild.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 03:30 PM
1

Meh. Most women I know are looking for a decent looking guy who they really jive with.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 03:19 PM
1

Right. But take some famous actor. Whoever. I can agree that he’s good looking, even very good looking. But it’s like looking at a beautiful woman. I can acknowledge that she’s beautiful, I may even stare because people like to look at attractive things, but that doesn’t mean I have any sexual interest in her. Same as with a random attractive man. No sexual interest, no attraction. There can be a decent-looking guy who totally makes me melt, makes my heart race, rocks my world, makes me always w…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 03:18 PM
2

Attraction is not based on who is the most attractive. It’s your personal reaction to the person, your chemistry with them. Is your level of attraction to someone simply directly proportional to how objectively attractive you consider them? Cause I know guys who are generally considered hot, who I could say, yeah he could be a swimsuit model, and they leave me totally cold.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 02:02 PM
2

Do you don’t think about compatibility at all? Not a factor? Just her being very attractive is enough for you to happy in the relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 12:17 PM
6

Just gave them to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 07:55 AM
11

Let’s imagine that the provider cheats. Are you forced to stay with him, because you can’t get a well-enough paying job to support yourself? Child support doesn’t cover it. Rehabilitative alimony last about 3 years nowadays and doesn’t get you anywhere near you would have been had you always worked. You have no social security built up and that’s never a part of a divorce agreement. You’re screwed. And it sounds like you prefer that women support themselves so that your situation doesn’t happen.…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 07:54 AM
9

Then why don’t you say what exactly you mean? Women don’t have the height to be lawyers? They don’t have the musculature to be architects? They don’t have the testosterone to be accountants? They don’t have the speed to become doctors. What are you talking about?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 07:45 AM
12

Do you realize that being the “providee” puts you in an absolutely terrible position where you are forced to always have a provider because you don’t have the skills, education and background to be your own provider? That you are stuck? What are your thoughts on this? Deciding to not be your own breadwinner can be a catastrophic financial decision should you ever divorce, and may keep you forced to stay in a bad situation. The breadwinner is always in a position of relative power.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 07:17 AM
6

Are you saying that women are less intelligent than men and therefore shouldn’t be out there in the workforce? Because although different studies show small differences in either direction, the consensus is that both genders are equally intelligent.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 07:08 AM
7

When I look around I see much more commonality in choosing careers than difference. Yes, there are more female teachers and social workers. Yes, there are more male mechanics and truck drivers. But what about lawyers, doctors, accountants? I see much more even numbers. My mom was pushed into nursing school but would have liked to have been a doctor. When I was a kid a male nurse was so rare that you actually referred to one as “male nurse”. Now there are loads of female doctors and male nurses a…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 07:01 AM
9

Gender roles have historically been cooperative, to the detriment of women. It should not be incumbent upon women to take up a role they don’t honestly choose just to keep society running the way some group thinks is optimal. And true feminism gives women the right to decide what role they want. However traditional gender roles put women in a very bad place should a marriage not work out. Nearly every woman I know loves her kids more than anything and is a great caregiver, but would go batshit c…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 06:52 AM
1

So feminism should be saying “You don’t need a provider. You can be your own provider. But if you do want a provider, be aware that tall, good looking and ripped is less of a good provider than average height, average looks, and average physique”?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 06:34 AM
10

Good grief. Is a woman’s level of attractiveness the end-all be-all? A more attractive woman is higher quality? Do you care about anything else? Or it is really just that simple/vapid?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 06:28 AM
3

Haha. My bad. Their ex had earned a lot of money.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 07:11 AM
1

Personally I think that article is awful and the logic is pitiful and embarassing. Yes, there does seem to be disagreement on this topic and I really don’t understand why.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 01:14 AM
2

I’m not following this. So feminism seeks to do away with the male protector/provider model, but you think it should be redefining the model to a different type of man? I don’t see that feminism encourages women to find tall, jacked men. My understanding is that with women having the option to be their own providers, what constitutes a male provider is less important. And such women have more freedom to pursue what they personally find appealing as a partner. However attainment, as defined by jo…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 08:50 PM
2

What would the modernized choices be?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 07:56 PM
4

Reality and science tell me that just because I have a uterus doesn’t mean I can’t have a good job and support a family. Having a uterus and having birthed kids has not turned my brain to mush. In the working age span of 21ish to 65ish you think women are just sitting around pregnant or lactating? Having had kids has only affected me in the sense that I had an employment gap, but I am at the same level and pay as men at my level. Mercifully my employers have not held my having a uterus against m…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 05:50 PM
3

Same for men when more men apply to the same programs. It’s a simple question of supply and demand. As a college graduate in a good career I earn much more than so many men out there. There are too many jobs that don’t pay enough to either gender to support a family. I don’t see any evidence that most women are unable to but most men are.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 04:17 PM
3

They could but I don’t see it play out like that. Do you? Plus, college graduates are more women than men. I’m in the US and acknowledge it is of course not the same everywhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 03:29 PM
6

That’s great. Drama and danger are best avoided. I could not be friends with a woman who wanted a partner to intervene unnecessarily.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 03:25 PM
4

Well crap, if those are the women then it’s better to be single. I would never want my partner, or anyone, to risk their well-being unnecessarily by escalating something that doesn’t have to be escalated.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 03:19 PM
8

In what way are most women not able to be the breadwinner? There are men out there who can’t be the breadwinner either. Nothing is ever 100%. Everyone needs to find a partner with whom they can come to a happy agreement about working vs childcare.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 03:16 PM
4

Not relevant. Make your own post if you want to discuss that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 03:13 PM
5

And again, we aren’t talking about who women are attracted to in this post.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 03:06 PM
16

Everyone does better when the household earns more money. Of course. I’ve dated a few guys who were SAHP, with the wife earning really good money. Despite pregnancy and childbirth it’s entirely possible for women to be the breadwinner if that’s what the couple chooses. Companies are increasing accommodating of lactating mothers in the office.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 03:05 PM
3

This is not what this post is about. At all.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 02:59 PM
6

I don’t relate to this. I would expect my partner to intervene if someone was physically assaulting me, but I would also intervene if someone were physically assaulting him, or someone I was with was being assaulted. As for the rest I think it’s better to just remove yourself from the situation because no good can come from engaging with aggressive and nasty people.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 02:58 PM
7

Defend her how? Is someone physically assaulting her right in front of him?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 01:53 PM
13

Well as a feminist I support you discussing and complaining about how traditional gender norms negatively affect you.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 01:36 PM
44

Feminism does not expect men to be breadwinners and protectors. It hurts men to be strong armed into this position that denies them choice. That many people may still have outdated gender ideals is not feminism’s fault.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 01:24 PM
9

It’s not a question of “better than”. I am a unique person and insist on being with someone who appreciates me and syncs with me. If this guy is going after another woman because she’s prettier, fitter, whatever criteria you’re using, then he’s not for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 12:22 PM
1

That’s pretty extreme. The point of these apps is to find someone you want to date. And for that to happen you really need to communicate what you’re looking for. What’s allowable? Not height or weight. What about education level, income, physique? Religion and politics? Just hobbies and interests? It’s one thing to be totally rude and say something like no land whales or no manlets, but if you’re just using neutral language, others need much better coping skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 08:09 PM
1

Right. But if she doesn’t get matches then perhaps she’ll consider why not and revise.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 08:02 PM
3

Right. That’s your call. You can reveal on your timeline. People who post laundry lists of disqualifiers choose to do that. No one is forcing their hand.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 08:01 PM
6

It’s useful to all women because they know to avoid him. He’s told you exactly who he is. It’s a gift. People out themselves without realizing it. Should we protect them from others seeing so clearly that they’re a jerk? Knowing who to avoid is very useful.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 06:03 PM
2

It’s not unkind. It’s just direct. And if people have a dating profile that is shallow maybe that’s an indication that they simply are shallow and you can move on. No? You want people to hide that they’re shallow? You want the woman to tell you off in the coffee shop for not having been upfront? You want her to sit through a date and then ghost you? Swiping left on you is the absolute kindest action she can take. There is literally nothing less offensive.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 06:01 PM
6

That’s perfect though. You see that he’s difficult and focuses on the negative and you can just move on. His approach gives you extremely useful information about him.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:57 PM
1

That’s his call. Maybe he doesn’t want women who are easily offended. People get to put what they want and sometimes the fact that they don’t fill out certain questions gives you enough information. There’s no need to police anyone else’s approach. You do you. And you don’t have to provide a reason to swipe left and move on. You just do. So it’s not like anyone’s getting told explicitly/bluntly that they’re too fat/short/ugly/whatever. I wouldn’t swipe right on any guy that said “no fat chicks” …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:54 PM
1

It’s not blunt. They don’t match with you with the aim of telling you that you don’t fit their standards. They just swipe left and move on. You would prefer that they meet you and reject you in person?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:48 PM
8

If that’s their legit preference, then absolutely yes!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:43 PM
3

I want as many descriptors as possible. You need to be able to filter profiles efficiently, and I don’t want to meet up with anyone right away anyway. I think Bumble is the best with this, but I have a bunch of questions I’d add. Like ENM or not, and if you have kids, are they young or in college or what. If I don’t meet someone’s hard or soft requirements, I just move on. It’s silly to let some rando upset you by wanting something different than you. That’s life.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:43 PM
3

My bad. Then no amount because aside from some traveling, there’s not much I really want. And I was born middle class into a pretty frugal family, and spending large amounts of money makes me uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 12:51 PM
2

I’m single with kids and would do it for a billion dollars. I would use the money to promote equality in the world. I don’t need or want much more than I have.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 12:29 PM
2

Yes, of course. But that can arise over time. It will not be there to start and I may not even think he’s that good looking to begin with. But I usually end up wildly attracted to the guys I date. I don’t think I could be with someone if I didn’t feel the urge to be touching them constantly.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 04:53 PM
2

What does that mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 04:46 PM
2

For some length of time, yes. Ultimately something kills the relationship. But without the compatibility it’s a total nonstarter.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 04:14 PM
3

Money no. And I wouldn’t date him if I wasn’t attracted to him, but if I saw him outside of a dating situation I could end up attracted to him as I got to know him better. This has happened to me many times. But I’m also someone who is never initially attracted to anyone, even if I would describe them as attractive to others. That said, I’ve fallen for guys who I originally specifically said were not physically attractive. It’s not because of a great personality, more like we really have a lot i…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 11:51 AM
1

Go get some friends, dude. Geesh.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 06:23 AM
5

Go get some friends, dude. Geesh.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 06:23 AM
1

Meh. I get “lonely” at times from lack of full-body snuggles and pillow talk. I have lots of great friends and family. It’s not just a lack of sex or being horny. Non-sexual romantic intimacy is huge.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 12:56 AM
2

Nah. Men can hide their plastic surgery too.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 09:38 PM
10

Compliments are never earned though. I compliment other women frequently, even women I don’t know, just because I’m thinking of the compliment. But it’s always focused on something she controls - her style, her outfit, etc. I think women dislike men just noticing and commenting on their base looks. It’s so basic. On dating apps I would get irritated by these compliments. Like wtf, I am a whole person, and my looks are the least interesting thing about me.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 02:47 PM
1

Any relationship needs to be based on more than him providing security. Both parties have to find the other interesting, they have to enjoy their life together, the sex has to be up to par.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 02:31 PM
2

There is much, much more to connection than chemistry. And having a sizzling instant chemistry is no guarantee of a functional relationship. At all.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 01:49 PM
15

I notice attractive people. I notice good style. I notice attractive women. I even notice big boobs. That I look at any of them doesn’t mean I have any sexual interest in them. People just tend to look at attractive things.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 08:52 AM
32

This. I was going to reply but this sums it up perfectly. I am totally crazy about my partner. The other guys out there who are better looking have no effect on me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 08:50 AM
3

Lots of men are attractive. That means nothing. I think lots of women are attractive too. I’m straight. Being interested in them romantically or sexually is something entirely different. Attraction is not thinking someone is good looking.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 08:17 AM
16

Because it wasn’t centered on men and their lives. It was vitriol against women.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 09:28 AM
12

Cats are FABULOUS and single people don’t “die alone”. They have meaningful relationships and activities and fulfilling lives. This is a trope that is beyond cliche. Do better.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 09:24 AM
4

The same as women. No one can force a medical procedure on you, no one can deny you a procedure to your person that you want. Frozen embryos require consent of both parties to be used. Any sperm or eggs in a lab somewhere can’t be used without the approval of the purveyor.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/25 08:17 PM
24

Maybe white people should be pro-slavery because it benefits them? That seems to be your argument. Really so gross and offensive.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/25 04:43 PM
1

1 ish. I prefer meeting through Bumble, and I like that the woman has to message first. I don’t wait to “get asked out”.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 01:19 AM
1

If happiness is wanting what you already have, then this sub shouldn’t exist. All men should be happy with the dating life they have. Since men are apparently so superior. Your reply is too sexist and ridiculous to otherwise engage with.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 06:52 PM
19

So the solution to them complaining that men aren’t good enough in for them to take an active role in pursuing these men?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 12:00 PM
7

That’s ridiculously broad and untrue. People make choices in accordance with what they think will optimize their happiness and well-being.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 12:30 AM
1

Thinking that they’re emotionally available when they shut down at any convo about feelings. Thinking that they handle conflict well when it turns out they give you the silent treatment or get a little mean. Thinking that they’re easygoing and agreeable when a lot of things really do bother/upset them. Thinking that they’re overall a “good partner” but are low effort or take you for granted. I could go on…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 12:24 AM
6

No. Family is what you choose it to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 11:29 PM
5

Bull. Plenty of childcare couples have happy lives together until one of them dies. You are being very insulting and demeaning of others simply because you can’t understand it personally. Not a good look.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 11:28 PM
13

No. You can have marriage without children and children without marriage. Your definition sounds like something one or another organized religion would push.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 11:24 PM
1

I’ve had good luck with Bumble to some degree - a bunch of mid-term relationships. The issue is just that it’s hard to screen people in general and problems delay in making themselves known. Also, people lack self-awareness. But overall the apps give a good head start because you already have a basic profile of the person. I don’t think I’ll ever go with any other approach than Bumble.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 11:16 PM
1

Your study relates to punishment for antisocial behavior. Are you saying that boys/men are less likely to become involved in normal activities like sports, scouting, etc. because they fear being punished if they exhibit bad behavior? There are hundreds of active programs for boys in my area, as for girls. It’s enough to make your head spin. That there are programs specifically for girls is because traditionally there is an over representation of boys in said activity. This is counter to your arg…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 07:14 PM
3

My doctor ex had women in the hospitals he worked at throwing themselves at him left and right. Decent looking, smart, and big salary are a winning combo.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 06:52 PM
–

Low effort. I support male bodily autonomy, paternity leave, default 50-50 custody in divorce. These stances are inherent in feminism.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 12:40 PM
–

No. As a feminist myself, I disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 12:31 PM
–

No. Maybe a subset, but not on average.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 12:19 PM
–

That wasn’t my point. Your issue then is that women aren’t interested enough in the majority of men, not that women don’t approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 12:10 PM
–

They have words to look at and could say something normal. It doesn’t have to be an essay. If you don’t like a woman just saying “hi” you don’t have to respond. I would never reply to that from a guy. Knowing that a guy is basically saying “I’ll take any of these hundreds of women” just makes you not want to bother.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 12:07 PM
–

Who hates you?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 12:01 PM
–

Women do that when they’re interested. My trainer has women all over him every time he goes out. I’ve seen it. Women pursue when they want. If they don’t, they’re not interested enough. There’s no need to get them to do anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 12:00 PM
–

Getting so many likes and messages is crap because those guys have done the same with hundreds of other women and it’s all based superficially on your appearance. It’s meaningless.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 11:53 AM
–

My teenage son has quite a number girls making moves on him. I’ve made the first move with a bunch of guys on dating apps. Women do absolutely pursue when they’re interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 11:50 AM
–

The incentive for any fight for equality never involves a consideration of how it benefits you. Yeah, I just read the first two lines. No more needed. Here’s a crazy thought, OP. Not everyone is motivated purely by self interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 11:46 AM
7

I’m not going to tell him to “be nice to women”. What??? I am trying to raise him as a good human being who treats everyone well. Like another commenter replied, I am focused on his overall person - that he is ethical, resilient, kind, well-educated, involved in activities that he enjoys, that he values friends and family.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 12:16 AM
3

I don’t have a problem paying my own way. I was raised to believe I was equal and therefore should pay my way, and also that some men think you owe them if they pay for you, so there’s double reason. I have a problem with how tacky your approach is, and how you are making a deliberate point to say “I’m not paying for you.”
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 11:38 AM
3

You’re wasting time using the date for a filter that could easily be accomplished without doing so. Suggest coffee. If she’s looking for a free meal she won’t accept. I generally do coffee dates. Why go have dinner and spend money if the vibe isn’t there? I’d rather go eat with friends. I don’t understand the urge to go do something with a stranger that costs enough money that you have to think up strategies regarding it. Also, what you fail to understand is that requesting separate checks from …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 11:34 AM
6

I always pay my own way but having a guy request separate checks from the get-go is so off putting that I wouldn’t go out with him again.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 11:20 AM
7

Has this been a problem for you, personally?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 11:14 AM
3

It’s a waste of your time and energy. You can choose to do things an efficient way or inefficient. If you enjoy going out with someone who isn’t what you want, and making conversation over a whole dinner, then go for it. Most people like to filter more efficiently.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 11:13 AM
5

No. Waste time by spending a mealtime with someone you are not interested in.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 11:09 AM
7

How does it work that the woman gets a fulfilling relationship and the man gets a suboptimal one? Is the woman’s partner thinking she is suboptimal?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 08:03 AM
4

And the advantage is the ability to find a spouse of the opposite gender??? Does this count for the woman but not the man??
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 07:58 AM
8

I really don’t understand this. How does a woman have an easier time getting to marriage than the man she’s marrying? And how are girls placed in more social situations than boys? They have the same opportunities from birth - from daycare to preschool to school. Moms of boys organize just as many play dates. Both genders participate in any number of extra-curriculars. Most kids seem to be pretty well extended with activities.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 07:55 AM
8

No. Most things I start to watch I don’t stick with. And I work with lots of great guys that I know pretty well, but I don’t consider them partner potential. For me personally, not in general. But this is off point. OP seems to think that women are getting into these satisfying long-term relationships, but not men. This doesn’t compute, unless he’s arguing that there’s a larger number of men in society, or that lesbians are a larger number than gay men. For every straight woman who is in a fulfi…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 07:33 AM
7

It doesn’t have to be about bad choices. If someone isn’t appealing enough to you for you to want to be in a relationship with them, that’s all that matters. You really need to consider someone amazing and fabulous to be with them, not just “not a bad choice”. But you don’t have to even ask yourself this because a romantic relationship is not a requirement. It’s not like considering no job good enough when you need to support yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 06:59 AM
4

Nothing is preventing you from having satisfying friendships and relationships with other family members. Both types can easily outlast a romantic relationship. When you extol a marriage that outlasts all else, this often means one man and one woman, so neither gender has an advantage. Having more romantic options presented to you is meaningless if none of them are appealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 06:17 AM
5

That would make him a good choice for a friend. Is there attraction? Not, is he attractive? But is she specifically attracted to him?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 11:52 AM
2

It is not necessarily about how attractive the man is.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 06:45 PM
1

Not relevant. I absolutely do enjoy myself traveling. I am never looking to find a partner who wants to marry me for my money or citizenship.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 12:06 AM
7

Yes, I have. I did not notice submissive males there.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 12:04 AM
14

No. Women generally don’t travel to poorer countries to find a submissive partner who is attracted to her relative wealth.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 11:04 PM
–

Bull. Most guys I know prefer women their own age and don’t relate at all to a younger generation.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 11:16 AM
1

If no men approached, then a subset of women would make things happen. Especially with dating apps. I’ve asked many a guy out via Bumble. It’s designed to give the woman more control. But I’m not going to approach some guy IRL who I know nothing about, just because he’s good looking. Ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 03:05 PM
1

The media is heavily influenced by public opinion. If black people were complaining that they were represented in a way they didn’t like in the media, would you tell them to just not consume said media?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 02:08 PM
7

Is this a serious question? Why should white people support equality for blacks? Why should anyone care about other people? Or anything that doesn’t benefit them personally? Geez.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 04:38 PM
3

Men can simply not ask. No one is forcing you to. Or you can meet someone at a bookstore, Farmers Market, a Meetup, any free community event, etc. The person inviting doing the paying is standard. This doesn’t apply just to dating. If I invite someone somewhere, I pay. And I’ve paid for plenty of first meeting coffee dates as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 04:28 PM
54

No. Child custody should be 50-50 by default. Alimony should be based on income, not gender. Dates should be either paid for by the person asking or split 50-50. Men should get paternity leave. Whoever wants to propose, should propose. If a man wants a gift similar in expense to an engagement ring, he should get it. Use of embryos should require the agreement of both parties. I’m not in agreement over the accidental pregnancy. Child support goes to the welfare of the child. Too bad that you want…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 02:44 PM
3

Outfits, skin, the exaggerated hips and breasts in video games where you tend not to see the male avatars with a huge package, the amount of nudity on the movie screen of actresses versus their male counterparts. It’s not about how any one particular woman chooses to dress.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 12:40 PM
3

Women are portrayed as sex objects in the media to a much greater extent than men are. A woman can dress as she wants. A man can think as he does. A man is not free to act in certain ways based on how a woman is or isn’t dressed.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 12:27 PM
0

Did I say that? No.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 12:15 PM
7

Yes it is. Any time a group is portrayed negatively, in a way that has implications for how that group is treated in real life, it’s a problem that reasonable people seek to address. It doesn’t matter that there is a right to do what you want. Shittiness should be expected to be called out. Women are not the only group to take issue with their media portrayal. This is not an issue exclusive to feminism.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 08:48 AM
19

What you are talking about is equality, not rights versus privileges. Men are not sexualized in media. Men are not expected to shave their legs or put on a face of makeup. Yes, women can refuse to purchase the media or the razor. But every group should be expected to fight against negative stereotypes of themselves. And women object to being portrayed as sex objects. And even being expected to have to spend time and money to alter their body to fit some view of how they’re supposed to look. I’d …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 08:02 AM
1

Thank you for the clarification. It’s true that I don’t read as much about Chad on this sub. Attraction is a non-negotiable. Doesn’t everyone agree with that? When women say that they want good men, they mean that they want good men that they’re attracted to. Otherwise he’s just a friend. Whether someone is attractive to you (which is not the same as you being attracted to them) is easier to immediately discern than whether they’re “good” so this is how the wanting “good men” thing originates. Y…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 12:14 PM
1

I thought the red pill answer was that women only want Chad. Or unemployed ex-felons.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 09:59 PM
7

Women want the full package.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 12:07 AM
2

I agree that there’s little point in arguing this. To say that a woman who gives birth a lot and pushes others to do the same is the fittest in this context makes no sense. Her kids can become feminists just as easily as not, and I’d be surprised if they didn’t, looking at the society they live in and their mother’s disadvantaged place in it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 04:34 PM
2

The problem is that the world is overpopulated and the birth rate being low is absolutely not an issue. Twin studies are irrelevant. All feminists were obviously born to mothers, and more feminists will come to be in the future. And the more patriarchal the society where women think they deserve equality, the stronger the feminist sentiment will become. Plenty of men are great fathers and active in child raising. I don’t know any men who are always looking to knock up as many women as possible. …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 12:33 PM
–

Whatever. Too ridiculous to continue.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 07:50 PM
1

No. Many things stem from the patriarchy but there are other things that exist in the world. Didn’t think I had to clarify that, but okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 06:05 PM
6

I don’t agree that the other side was unelectable. I believe people are gullible and believed every ridiculous comment and promise.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 05:16 PM
7

The US population keeps increasing. My area is way overpopulated. I’d be happy for a decline. No reason why men can’t get off their butts and do the child-raising job if they think it’s important. Feminists aren’t genetically erasing themselves. wtf? You think there is a feminism gene? Just wow…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 05:14 PM
5

No. Because everything that stems from the patriarchy — all of the attitudes and beliefs that haven’t gone away — is included. You can call it something else if you want, but it exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 12:53 PM
11

The patriarchy is a much broader and insidious reality than your archaic description. Just look at US leadership - a president with a history of sexual assault and a VP who thinks childcare is the domain of mothers and grandmothers, who is made uncomfortable by child-free women. There are so many ways the patriarchy manifests itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 12:43 PM
10

A consent form is useless. Consent can be revoked orally at any time. A guy who pulls out a form makes me think he’s going to do something horrible and try to use the form as some type of defense. Gross!!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 01:26 AM
–

Well, I’ll just disagree. I can complain about not getting what I want, and that doesn’t mean I’ll be happy with something else. The whole “pumped and dumped” thing is gross and ridiculous. It’s called dating and involves having sex with who you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 04:25 PM
–

No, but it’s kind of silly to criticize people for their preferences or what they’re attracted to. Women know they can adjust their standards. No one is presenting any radical idea. They clearly don’t want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 04:01 PM
–

Yes, of course. But the take here is that women should adjust their standards, as apparently they are just not doing so. So either they are getting what they want, or they’d rather not have a relationship than lower their standards. Both of which are fine. Everyone is free to do what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 03:27 PM
7

You don’t “saddle someone else” ever. This does not exist. The other person isn’t forced. They decide yes or no. There is also no “equivalent” except in men’s minds because they seem to base EVERYTHING on a 1-10 appearance scale all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 02:23 PM
–

There is no fault. There is just free will. No one is forced to be in any relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 01:44 PM
–

I have a great job. My bf has a better job. It’s his choice to be with me. He is free to dump me for someone with a higher paying job whenever he wants. His choice. You don’t get a say.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 01:43 PM
–

A woman can demand something and a man can say no. Inverse is the same. Like if a man demanded something of me I would laugh and walk away.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 01:41 PM
–

Individual men and women should do what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 01:40 PM
–

People get to make their own choices. That’s why. Everyone gets to decide for themselves whether or not to be with someone who earns less. Why aren’t you asking men why they’re putting up with “leeches” for partners? Sounds like some terrible decision making to me. What is wrong with this men?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 01:40 PM
–

So why are men perfectly content with being with women who are leeches and don’t earn as much? Sounds like the women are the smart ones here.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 01:38 PM
–

But why would a young person be looking for stability? Why wouldn’t they be looking for fun and excitement? There’s no need for a stable relationship when you’re young. It’s not like you’re looking to get married. Isn’t it completely natural to want different things when you are older than you did when you were younger? I changed so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 01:34 PM
–

Men have the option to not be in these relationships. Everyone is free to say no.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 01:31 PM
–

It’s all about attractiveness with these guys. It’s all they talk about when they talk about women. There is no room for subjectiveness and no room for other characteristics.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 01:30 PM
–

This is absolutely not true for many men. I have male friends who date a lot and rarely click with a woman enough (on their end) for a relationship to develop. There has to be a special connection. Most women I know are attractive and have good personalities but none of us would want to date someone who would be attracted to all of us. We are actually different. Do all attractive women with good personalities make your heart skip a beat? Do you feel a tension and special energy when you talk to …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 01:27 PM
–

She is entitled to pick what she wants. No one has any right to tell a woman “it ain’t right”. This isn’t the judicial system. It’s not incumbent on her to mete out fairness.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 01:01 PM
–

“Getting used by Chad” doesn’t exist. It’s a concept invented by a bitter subgroup.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 12:55 PM
–

When a guy says you need to lower your standards, he is really out of line. Everyone is entitled to pursue whomever they find appealing, and that’s that. Whether the other person likes you back or wants a relationship back is a different issue. But no, no one needs to lower their standards to appease anyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 12:53 PM
7

What does “being your equal” have to go with anything and why are some men so obsessed with it? You date the people you find appealing, if they are amenable, without consideration of whether someone is “equal” (whatever tf that means) or not. If you don’t find someone appealing, you don’t date them. You don’t owe them consideration because some group of men who identify as a colored pill think you should be required to because dating should be required to follow some invented equality rules.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 09:31 AM
17

But WHY should they be considered? Why shouldn’t the woman just go for what she wants, and if she can’t get what she wants, then choose nothing?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 08:18 AM
–

Is this a joke? What do you mean, how does it work? Why would it work otherwise? I know many dozens of good looking guys with good personalities. Am I supposed to be attracted to all of them? The default is that you’re not attracted to someone. That’s how it works. Attraction is rare. It is the exception. Also, do you think good looking and good personality are the only considerations? That’s completely absurd.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 04:47 AM
–

Oh really? How does it work then? Pray tell.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 09:47 PM
–

Seriously? Are you attracted to all women? Are you attracted to all attractive women? Have you ever not been attracted to a woman? There is no recipe for someone making your heart skip a beat and the feeling of butterflies in your stomach, a rush of excitement to see the other person. It works of its own devices. There isn’t much to understand. Either it’s there or it’s not, and there’s nothing that can be done to create it. You just have to accept that this is how it works.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 08:09 PM
1

Apps are more efficient. You can read a profile in less than a minute. You can look through hundreds of guys in no time. It’s not all looks, as hard as that may be to believe.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 01:10 PM
1

Apps give women the ability to know something about the guy before anything happens. If some guy approaches you, you don’t know anything about him. Maybe you can exchange numbers and chat, but it’s less efficient. And do you know your Google Voice number by heart to give out? Apps give you the ability to filter a whole bunch of people and swipe on the ones you find most appealing. You can filter on politics and religion and a bunch of other factors that may be important to you. They also offer s…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 01:07 PM
0

My trainer is objectively hot and a really nice guy. He’s also a swimsuit model. I have zero attraction to him. The men in this thread largely seem to not understand that a guy can be attractive and you can’t simply not be attracted to him. Also, a woman rejecting you is not some evidence of you not being “good enough.” There is no system whereby a guy is ranked on appearance and virtuous characteristics, and the top one wins the attraction. Attraction does not work like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 12:52 PM
3

What if he’s like a brother to me? What if there’s no spark. Are the other guys not going to fall in love with me because it’s not their company I most enjoy?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 12:11 AM
6

For me, it’s “don’t be her friend if you really just want to date her”.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 09:47 PM
3

If I have 10 male friends which one am I supposed to fall in love with? Or am I supposed to be willing to get into a relationship with any of them?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 09:38 PM
2

Attraction is attraction. It’s not a recipe. You can’t create it. It’s not based on who is necessarily the most compatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 09:33 PM
0

Yes! I can consider a man very attractive and have zero attraction to him. They are two separate things. I would consider all my male friends good looking. That doesn’t make me sexually attracted to them at all. Like I think most of my female friends are attractive but have no desire to date them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 09:32 PM
17

If he’s a friend, he’s a friend. Attraction is its own thing and doesn’t necessarily arise because someone is a good friend. You’re over complicating things. Lots of boyfriends are kind and emotionally available and reliable. It’s not just the bad boy that gets the girl.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 03:49 PM
12

I think the most appealing fictional character ever is Mr. Darcy. Hardly a bad boy. Plus finding a character exciting or appealing on some level doesn’t mean you think a relationship with him would be viable. Thirdly, no one group should ever be required to keep up any pretense for the good of society, assuming that there actually is a pretense to keep up. However men being providers had much more leverage and appeal in an era when women couldn’t be their own providers.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 08:51 PM
–

In this case she was a nurse and would need to complete a lot of requirements to work in the U.S. However if a woman is eligible for an H-1b visa, she probably won’t be marrying a passport bro. Yes, there are lots of expat and digital nomad communities around the world. The digital nomad sub has lots of convos about how to hide your location from your employer, because they’re often not on board. But it is increasingly an option to spend your whole life abroad, if that suits you.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 11:40 AM
–

My cousin married a foreign woman but couldn’t bring her into the country because it was determined he didn’t make enough money to support them both. He’s now been living aboard most of his adult life. It doesn’t always work out as planned.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 12:56 AM
1

That’s fine. Women are good. You’re the one complaining right and left about women not eyeing men in general like a piece of meat, as you apparently do.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 05:03 PM
6

No kidding. The misogyny is real. Thinking that a man doing something in the house is doing something FOR the woman. Because of course everything is her job by default…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 01:28 PM
4

what men can do for themSELVES There, I fixed it for you. But yeah, we’re generally not going to salivate over some rando just because he has a dick. Deal with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 01:23 PM
8

Women find it sexy for men to demonstrate that they are competent adults and partners, not an extra child she has to raise.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 12:10 PM
5

Yes. Because women are largely different. What makes a man sexy is very different, and probably even the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 09:01 AM
23

I’m a sucker for plaid shirts. My bf had a profile pic of him reading and he looked so appealing that I had to swipe right. Amid a sea of gym pics, sports stadium pics, and bathroom selfies, and poses next to sports cars, there he was. Different women find different things sexy with regard to men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 08:57 AM
3

No. Society doesn’t punish. Nor does the law. You say you’re getting a divorce and people really just give you sympathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 01:52 AM
2

Not going to happen. You can want it, but divorce is not going anywhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 01:50 AM
2

Completely sinister and sociopathic.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 01:49 AM
2

You think you can improve a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to? It sounds like you’re desperate to have someone and hold onto them no matter what. You think a spouse who wants out is going to be directing any positive actions toward you? By one eye open I mean beware of what your spouse may do if they are trapped and miserable. But if you don’t fear that, good for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 01:05 AM
2

No but there is huge social pressure and all kinds of economic incentives. Churches push marriage and frown upon cohabitation. The US military disincentivizes cohabitation. The US Internal Revenue Code is teeming with benefits for married couples (that gay couples in domestic partnerships could not receive in earlier times because you have to be married), private firms offer benefits to spouses, state health insurance exchanges only consider you a family if you’re married so you need multiple pl…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 01:01 AM
2

Wow. So you’d be fine with a spouse who cried every day because they were miserable, or picked fights constantly, or spent as little time in the house as possible, just so that you could stay married? There’s something worse than forcing someone to stay with you who doesn’t want to be with you? There is no relationship to survive. I think most people only want to be with someone who wants them back. Most people want love. Hope you sleep with one eye open.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 12:28 AM
2

Okay, so your spouse stays with you because they fear social punishment. They don’t love you, maybe they don’t even like you, they don’t want to be with you. They feel trapped and miserable and this is clear in every interaction. This is a win for you? This is how you want to live your life?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 12:11 AM
2

I believe that it’s possible. People who get married are hopeful that it will be lifelong. But I also don’t believe you should be forced to suffer a mistake the whole rest of your life. Even murderers can get parole.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 12:08 AM
5

Fascinating take. And in the event that one spouse wanted to stay married, they never get to move on totally either? Their spouse left them but they’re still stuck being married because divorce isn’t allowed.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 11:50 PM
4

You’re welcome! Glad to help!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 11:03 PM
7

Ah yes, interference and meddling under the guise of concern. A tale as old as time. Proceed.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 11:01 PM
8

You don’t need to fix things for other people. They are grown ass adults who can make their own decisions. They can get prenups, get divorces, not get married. Their choice. Divorce is the second best thing that ever happened to me. Don’t knock it!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 10:57 PM
1

So she can leave you and move in with a new guy; she just can’t be legally divorced from you. Sounds great. I see why you want that. Or are you going to physically imprison her? My bf is married and his estranged spouse is protesting everything, just to create conflict. It’s a pain, but I don’t care. They can stay married for all I care. I’m happy with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 10:55 PM
8

So let people be unhappy? Are they forced to still live together, or can they move out and on with their lives, and maybe even live with a new partner, while still being legally married? That’s a PITA financially, but that’s what people will do if they can’t legally dissolve the marriage. You think this is a solution? I’ve known people who have done it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 10:51 PM
8

Hello. Yes. I’m stuck with the father of my kids and his new wife, and that’s a life sentence despite the divorce. But we all just cope and move on and things improve. Unexpected things happen. That’s life.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 10:48 PM
7

You don’t have to get married if you don’t want to. Let other people do what they want. Why do you want to interfere in their choices? And there’s always a pre-nup that handles a lot of the issues that would need to be decided in a divorce. People are free to pay the legal fees and get one, if they so choose.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 10:42 PM
1

No, they intend to be in love forever. And yes, they can sign a marriage certificate without those words. I assume that they say those words because they’re the traditional vows and they hope that the marriage will be a happy one and they will fulfill them. It’s a statement that they intend to try their best. But like I said, there is an implied asterisk that most people understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 08:17 PM
1

It’s an expression of intention by people who are hopeful for the future. That’s the love angle. From a practical angle, it’s a contract with a lot of legal benefits that you can’t get otherwise. I think that most people understand that there is an implied asterisk following the vows.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 07:49 PM
2

Sometimes it can be rekindled. Sometimes you’re just too incompatible or too much as happened. Do you want to stay married to someone who says to you “I don’t love you and don’t want to be married to you anymore but am staying because I feel morally obligated and made a vow.” Maybe you’re good with that, but I’d happily show my partner the door if they said that to me. Marriage vows are an intention. But sometimes things change. Do you expect people to just be unhappy the rest of their lives bec…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 05:35 PM
1

So you want to shame them into staying? To what end? Is this somehow a good thing for their partner, that they’re being stayed with just because the other person doesn’t want to be shamed. The other person doesn’t love them and doesn’t want to stay, but they’re staying because they feel forced to? wtf?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 05:20 PM
2

But divorce is just as much for the other partner. Who wants to be with someone who doesn’t want to be married any longer? Who wants to be with someone because that other person made a vow and is now required or determined to suffer through it the rest of their lives? Who wants someone who is with them for obligation only? My ex was a cheater and I am so glad that divorce is an option. I don’t want to stay married to someone who wishes they could be elsewhere. He would be doing me no favor by no…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 05:17 PM
6

Yes, you can set whatever parameters you want. Other people are free to accept or to laugh in your face.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 12:21 AM
12

I don’t want a partner who feels morally obligated to stay with me for any reason. If he doesn’t truly and fully want to be with me, then he absolutely should go. I don’t need or want that crap.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 12:20 AM
–

No. It’s not motivated by kindness. He feels all manly and provider-like, which feeds his ego. And you think men who want a trad wife want so out of kindness?? And she’s gotta be hot because appearance trumps everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 05:23 PM
–

Bull. I see enormous differences. Maybe men aren’t paying attention. We are more than social conditioning - Interests, personality, kindness, values, likes/dislikes, what we’re good at and not, insert literally hundreds of items here. And as for money, he needs to do decently well, because I do well. I want someone who incorporates well into my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 02:35 PM
–

Women in these pill spheres are constantly reduced to a looksmatch number. All she is is her appearance, plus her breeding capabilities and provision of sex. I’m a woman and find it obscenely offensive. Women are complex, unique human beings, who vary hugely from one to another, not a face plus vagina plus uterus. I don’t agree that men are wanted for what they provide, beyond that they are competent adults. Every woman I know is hard-working and employed and isn’t looking to be taken care of. B…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 02:04 PM
0

Haha. The nerve of me, looking for deep and fundamental compatibility, and not content with “nice looking”. A guy can’t understand it’s not all about looks. Sounds about right.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 12:02 AM
-1

Well I’m a woman and have gone through all the men in my set radius, so I ended up getting matches passing through the nearby airport. I was looking for someone compatible and it was a rough ride. So many profiles sound exactly the same. There’s no lack of good-looking guys with good jobs who seem nice though.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 08:55 PM
0

Well the mail order bride is a separate issue. It makes it seem like he’s looking for a submissive woman. That’s its own ick.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 05:59 PM
3

No. Women won’t think he’s “low value”. They won’t make any value assessments. Men are the ones who categorize people as low or high value. He chose his partner and all that matters is that he is happy with her. She can be beautiful or not. She can work a job or not. It doesn’t matter, because looks do not influence compatibility and job/work only does to a much lower degree than many, many other things.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 05:39 PM
9

Who cares how society perceives you and who tf came up with the ridiculous term of “high value”. And why are you the arbiter of these? That a guy has a partner that he chose and loves is all that matters. Same for women. Compatibility is what ultimately makes you happy in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 04:16 PM
5

No. If you lose your job you make an effort to get a new one. If you get demoted, you adjust your lifestyle. I’d be very supportive of my partner in either situation. However if he decided to just work part time at minimum wage from there on out, then no. This idea that you don’t even need to provide your own self a decent standard of living is ridiculous. We’re not even talking about providing for another person. If I decided to mooch off my partner and be lazy then I’d fully expect him to ditc…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 09:16 PM
8

Red pill is that women don’t want underemployed men that they have to support? Interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 08:28 PM
2

But I have a sweet guy that earns 170k. If I had to pick between your two options, which are by far not the only options out there, I would stay single. Thanks for the helpful advice!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 08:15 PM
2

Two of those incomes isn’t going to support anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 07:42 PM
6

Our blood isn’t boiling. We just think he’s not relationship material. Why do men so often think we really care? Most of the women here seem to be decently employed, as nearly every woman I know. The idea that he’s going to be the one subsidizing someone else is a joke. And as for not wanting to subsidize someone’s lifestyle, no one makes anyone do that. You can choose to not be in a relationship with someone lower earning. That’s your prerogative. No one forces anything on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 07:41 PM
2

You don’t have to choose between these two. I’d absolutely stay happily single.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 07:27 PM
5

This seems to be a largely huge difference between men and women overall. I’ve never dated someone who cared that much how I earned. This seems to be pretty common. Then there are men who want to be the higher wage earner and feel inadequate if not. There are men who want a SO who doesn’t work at all. But women by and large do care. I would totally not fault any man who wouldn’t date a woman with a PT minimum wage job. I totally understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 07:17 PM
5

He doesn’t need to support me. He does need to make an equivalent living so that I don’t have to support him or live a different lifestyle than he does. Am I going to travel and go out to eat with friends or alone because he can’t be bothered to do better? He sounds lazy and unmotivated.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 05:32 PM
13

No way. I want a better standard of living. He needs to have a similar income to mine. Plus, I value drive and education, so PT and minimum wage wouldn’t suit me, personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 04:53 PM
2

Hell no. Similar values, ideas of fairness, right and wrong are absolutely essential.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 12:04 AM
2

You talk about how much fun a woman might have had dating 30 guys, but why do you think it was all fun? Plenty of dating experiences are just plain miserable. And as for why women don’t say they had 30 short-term relationships before finding the one, first, who even thinks to count insignificant things? Second, why even continue to think about things that didn’t impact you as a person? (A LTR probably will, a STR probably won’t.) STRs are just largely forgotten. I’d have to sit down with pen and…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 10:58 PM
2

The men I know play basketball, have cycling groups, go to the gym. They tend to go for more athletic pursuits overall, but are by no means war-mongering barbarians. Sometimes they just <shudder> go out to eat or watch a game.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 10:26 PM
1

There is no rush indicated. There is no change indicated. You’ve invented this out of nothing. For all we know she’s processed her last LTR and is looking for a new one. Because she likes being in a LTR. So more of the same. But with a different person. Or she was busy with work, education, self-improvement, medical issues, or whatever, and now has freed up time and can get back in a LTR, as is her relationship preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 08:15 PM
1

Not at all. I think this is more common than not. It can take a year plus to realize that you’re really not compatible with someone long-term. The things that you thought were charming quirks when you were in the NRE phase start to drive you crazy. You really get to know them and realize it’s not going to work. There are people who have had multiple divorces at her age. She sounds very sensible and reasonable to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 07:09 AM
10

Yep! Of course we are. I’m older than that and get all sorts of attention and my partner thinks I’m hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:22 AM
4

She is not “suddenly” looking for a long- term partner. She’s had 4 and is currently single. Now she’s looking for another LTR. It says she doesn’t want kids and we have no way to know whether she has any desire to be married or not. There’s no rush to anything indicated at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:18 AM
6

Nope. Lots of people want a long-term relationship and not necessarily marriage. Why is marriage necessarily the goal?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 11:12 PM
3

Maybe she didn’t want to husband???
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 11:11 PM
6

Untrue. Plenty of people I know have great lives despite having a bio father who didn’t want to parent.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 12:57 PM
2

Usually it’s dissatisfaction with things other than physical appearance. Needs not being met, irritating habits, lack of compatibility. These things build up over time but you may not realize it until they reach a critical threshold. What started out as a charming and endearing person quirk may turn into something that makes you blow your gasket after time. The cumulative effect is everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 04:26 PM
7

Democrat politicians support abortion. Republicans don’t. You may find some women who blame all men, but overall it is well understood that this is a party platform issue and not based on gender. No one is responsible for the outliers.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 04:50 PM
3

Women don’t blame liberal men for the overturn of Roe. We know it’s religious conservatives of both sexes. This is a non-issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 04:35 PM
7

Ridiculous. I’m 50 and still have men pursuing me. Not all men want kids. My guy is 5 years younger and appreciates my humor, quick wit, intelligence, class, maturity, sassiness, what we have in common, and the great convos we have. I was impressed by the efforts he made to impress me. Young women out there — men will ALWAYA pursue you. Avoid the ones that only value looks, youth and modestly. It will be a supremely unfulfilling relationship for you. You are a complete, interesting, intricate pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 05:26 PM
2

I’m a woman and I notice if a woman has great fashion sense and a great body. I don’t stare and am not at all attracted but I notice. I’ve had female friends I’m very close to tell me how great my boobs look in a particular top. No problem there. It feels good and gives you more confidence in general to look good and have other people notice you look good. I don’t do it so some random guy will stare or hit on me AT ALL.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 01:11 PM
28

I’m American and my son is not circumcised. The trend in the past couple of decades is moving away from it. Of the women I know who do have circumcised sons, the father wanted the kid to look like him. I don’t think anyone’s genitals should be altered without their consent, and an infant certainly cannot do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 03:18 PM
1

Meh. If a well-established man is going for a gold digger, it’s because she’s exceedingly beautiful. He could find other beautiful, intelligent, professional women to partner with. She chooses her. She brings her looks to the table. There is no submission as part of the deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 03:13 PM
1

Successful men don’t think this way though. Also, the well-to-do men I know have wives that love them. In your scenario, she is only with him because of his money. I don’t see this playing out in real life. What guy actually wants that? Most doctors I know have professionally successful wives who would laugh at the idea that they are submissive. I used to be one.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 01:00 PM
0

Ridiculous. I have a high paying career and don’t expect a man to submit to me. No high-earning man I know actually thinks this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 12:04 PM
3

No. Why would a woman want a man with extremely low earning power? My take is that women want a dual-income household, by and large. Life is expensive. Kids don’t need a full-time parent forever. Where I am, full-day kindergarten starts at age 5. So the low-earning guy will return to the workforce and bring home little? That’s not good. Also, I’d honestly question why he’s earning so little to begin with. That’s a red flag for me. Also, men don’t need to just accept women choosing either role. T…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 04:58 PM
1

No, they don’t. They really want a relationship. They want a stable life partner, someone to come home to. Assuming you aren’t dating men, you wouldn’t know one way or the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 09:29 PM
4

You are a genderless Redditor to me, not a man whose attention I want. But if you want to bask in the idea that I want your attention, so be it. I’m on pins and needles over here to see if you will reply. I’m glad you’re happy in general and with whatever your choice of undies is. ❤️
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 07:31 PM
4

Ah, “sweaty”! I haven’t seen any incel speak here in a long time! 😂 This is me wanting your attention? Try again. I interact with content, not gender, and I won’t be upset if you don’t reply. Punishing a crime isn’t the same as denying human rights. That’s such a crazy leap it’s not worth further comment. That men aren’t mentoring young women is an issue because men are unfairly over represented in positions of authority. This should be changing. Don’t get your boxer briefs in a bunch. Happy now…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 07:19 PM
6

Hasn’t worked for me yet? Not being given attention by men who I don’t want attention from? Or you mean men deprioritizing women’s issues in the political sphere? Whatever. Human rights are human rights. If men have their panties in a bunch and want to be assholes that’s a reflection of who they are and they bear responsibility for that alone. You don’t give or take away any kind of human rights based on how well you perceive an affected group to treat you. That’s men feeling entitled.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 06:33 PM
1

Pick your verb then. If society has to actively be rebuilt in order to give women the same opportunities as men, the verb choice isn’t the issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 06:23 PM
5

No. Women don’t care. Men are GTOW and women aren’t chasing them to come back. Women are increasingly happy single and men are upset about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 06:16 PM
3

Indulging them? But letting them have the same opportunities as men?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 06:09 PM
4

Some are. Some aren’t. I know a good number of progressive guys. My boyfriend had me at “reproductive rights.” This kind of guy will be snapped up immediately.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 06:08 PM
5

They aren’t sane women raised well as much as they are victims of poverty and oppression looking for a brighter future. If they weren’t in a bad situation, foreign men wouldn’t be nearly as successful with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 06:03 PM
2

No. The men who are appealing to women survive. A huge swath of modern women wants progressive, very specifically not conservative, men.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 06:00 PM
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