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Noodles_R Archive

View 0 posts and 1,263 comments by Noodles_R on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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31

This already pretty much happens - look at various incel forums. It’s the same thing, just a group of men all hating together. Just like some women get together to hate online.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 06:27 PM
13

Yes I think you’re just mixing up words - empathy and sympathy, absolutely. For anyone or anything I care about. Guilt is different and only felt in certain situations where there is some responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 10:53 AM
28

You can! I care about my best friend, but when her mother died, did I feel guilty? No, because it had nothing to do with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 09:45 AM
2

Agree with this - it’s so easy to fall into rabbit holes and get too far into stuff, especially when young. It wouldn’t bother me if someone had been into the red pill / similar in the past, if they were honest about it an why they changed.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 06:58 PM
2

This is a very American issue - it’s not done routinely in the vast majority of Europe, for example. The tide is also changing, US circumcision rates are falling. You should absolutely speak out on this.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 12:37 PM
–

Surely that’s just swapping the problem? So one person isn’t lonely, another person has to make themselves so?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 09:38 AM
1

No reason really, usually I read PPD threads with a bit of bemusement, but the lack of realisation of OP claiming over dramatisation while doing it himself just amused me that’s all.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 12:37 PM
-1

You’re free not to take them seriously, though? If you think it’s an uninformed and baseless thing, ignore it. I certainly have done. The man vs bear scenario is very much an online thing and plenty of people haven’t even heard of it nor ascribed it any real significance. It doesn’t seem worth getting all dramatic about when it’s a small subset of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 11:58 AM
2

You complain about overdramatisation in your OP, but you’re really demonstrating a lot of it in your comment. You have a legitimate point but perhaps not conveying it objectively?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 11:09 AM
6

Exactly. Teenagers play these ‘when should I text back’ games. Once you get older, you realise you don’t need to. Show how you feel and be clear and direct, like grown adults.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 04:28 PM
4

I think any woman will tell you it’s bravado. Men just aren’t as good at reading each other as women are, because you’re looking at different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 12:12 PM
6

I think HS has bravado, not confidence. It was fake confidence, as can be seen in his meltdowns trying to cover his ass since the documentary came out, and in his poor reaction to some of Louis’ questions.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 08:00 AM
2

And you measure a relationship in what? Money and time? That discounts feelings, which are not objective.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 10:29 PM
6

If someone would rather be in a relationship than alone then it is worth it for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 08:55 PM
6

So it is worth it then. If the alternative is being alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 06:51 PM
5

I fancied Alan Rickman since I was a teenager, that voice! And another objectively unattractive guy - Jack Black. But SO attractive. That charisma.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 02:15 PM
6

We say maths in the UK because it is short for mathematicS. Math is American and wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 10:53 PM
5

And that result (at least the closest wording I can find to match OP’s interpretation) is quoted from a 2010 study. It’s not a finding from this particular research - and doesn’t appear to be a finding at all!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/23 07:21 AM
0

I’ve never actively sought sex so I’m not really who you’re aiming the question at but in my experience … No it would be easy to find sex (in the right setting, e.g. in a club). BUT it wouldn’t necessarily be easy to find sex with someone who made you feel safe / was attractive / a similar age etc. Safety in particular is important - one-off sexual encounters can be dangerous so there’s always some kind of vetting going on, even if it’s not done well drunk!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 06:39 PM
1

Happened to me! Met a great guy, dated him for three years, but was enjoying building my career, living in the big city and having freedom. I wasn’t ready to buy a house together and start trying for kids. So we broke up. And it wasn’t because I wasn’t to play the field - I didn’t have sex with or date anyone else for another three years. However if I’d met him a few years later, we probably could’ve been a perfect fit for each other. He was just ready for family life earlier than I was.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 06:37 PM
4

And that is why so many men are unhappy and lonely.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 07:56 PM
3

Yes to be fair, I’m British and we have a very true reputation of being polite / non-confrontational which probably influences actions in situations like these.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 06:26 PM
1

Ah see I disagree with you there - I think soft rejecting friends can be quite cruel. I can see how it may happen in the moment, if you’re taken by surprise and don’t want to hurt them. But if it happened to me I’d consider it my responsibility to clear things up as soon as I could, once I’d figured out how to approach it in the least hurtful way possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 06:07 PM
4

They will be your family and friends - I think every woman has probably had a soft rejection situation, where for whatever reason the guy has made her uncomfortable and she judged it the best response. I’ve done it too, but I’ve also had cold approaches I’ve responded very positively to. It’s just the way someone approaches, the eye contact, the body language. Something triggers the feeling of uncertainty. If they’re drunk, that ramps it right up.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:55 PM
7

I think the problem is lots of people are violent now. It’s not a man or approaching thing - you see it all the time, people kicking off in the street or in shops because someone dared say excuse me or try to check them in any way etc. Thats why few people intervene in public displays of aggression or wrongdoing because you simply never know how someone will react. The approaching issue women have is just a tiny facet of the larger problem. And soft rejection does tend to work and feel better th…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:47 PM
4

I think most women just draw the line at soft-rejecting cold approaches, because that’s what feels safest. It’s not wrong, although it does unfortunately reduce men’s changes. The problem is here that women feel at risk of physical danger, compared to men who just have to feel a bit rejected.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:45 PM
8

Lots of fears are irrational but it doesn’t necessarily make them stupid. Also telling someone they’re irrational doesn’t just make it go away. Many women feel justified in being cautious and so they will continue to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:36 PM
7

Nobody is saying it’s most men, or even that it’s a significant minority. But the problem is that women don’t know WHICH man presents that microscopic risk. So it’s better to be safe than sorry.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:14 PM
12

The difference is, women make a choice to get into a car. They don’t get a choice about being approached and have to assess the danger at that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:10 PM
6

I’m in the UK and our government is enacting specific legislation and laws around violence against women and girls. It’s also a core focus in Australia. I’m not surprised it isn’t in America, but it is a big issue for many western countries now.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:07 PM
12

Saying no can often result in a very unpleasant situation for women, so it’s best to get it done early. One way around it though is if you approach a woman and give her YOUR number. Don’t put her on the spot by asking for hers (and then ringing her to check it’s right!). A gentle approach with a “Hey, I love your (insert here), if you wanted to go for a coffee sometime here’s my number” then leave is totally fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:03 PM
5

I feel like an equal player, and that’s what matters. It seems like some men are just bitter that women don’t need to be subservient to them any more. Society, at least where I live, isn’t going to take that step backwards. It’s onwards and upwards for both genders, as it should be.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 08:14 PM
8

What both ways do I have? I’m in a society where I’m an equal player.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 05:28 PM
13

No doubt a woman who has been harassed by men, made to feel unsafe by men, and abused by men. See how that works? If you want to generalise about gender, you have it both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 05:13 PM
11

That actor is like 5’8 tops.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 06:47 AM
5

I think a lot of it is that you want what you don’t have. Men, who on the whole don’t get drooled over in the way women do, want it so badly. For women who get that, many would rather be ignored. And so on.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 05:59 PM
–

He’s got the middle aged man belly spread, he’s receding and his face is round. He was gorgeous as a younger dude but he’s not aging like fine wine sadly. He’s just a regular dude lookswise now.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/23 05:21 PM
5

100% Tbh I don’t know why I’m on this sub, I just find it all so baffling that I can’t tear myself away! Like you say though, it has given me knowledge of how to spot red pill red flags, which I’m grateful for.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 12:40 PM
8

I know, how dare we! If we reversed it, and said you’re dating a HVW, she could sleep with any man she ever wanted to, so you’d let her right? They wouldn’t even countenance it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 12:30 PM
2

True. And a HVM is defined by men, mostly, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 10:54 AM
12

Not butthurt, just a guy I’d avoid and not consider high value.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 10:47 AM
9

Yep they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 10:46 AM
31

A man who dates me but also intends to sleep around is not a HVM. I think men and women describe high value men very differently.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 08:48 AM
10

You’re messaging 20-somethings from other, poorer countries. You’re likely doing that because, at 40, you can’t score 20-somethings where you live. It’s not really comparable to what OP is stating.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 06:53 AM
1

I think it’s a lot easier to be an attractive woman than an attractive man. And I say this as a straight woman, so not blinded by attraction. I find more women nice to look at than men - a greater range of body shapes, faces, haircuts, outfits etc are attractive.
/r/AllPillDebate23/02/23 01:58 PM
1

Jesus, you are really loving purge week!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 04:27 PM
4

Exactly. And why do so many of them not take control and use what is available to them? Especially if they’re so terrified of paternity issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/22 02:48 PM
9

If men are concerned about women’s birth control, they could try being more willing to use those available to them - condoms, vasectomies etc. then there would be a lower risk of pregnancy and paternity worries.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/22 01:10 PM
1

Oh 100% there’s a correlation there. I just have to find my unicorn I guess!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 07:51 PM
1

Funnily enough I think I’m neurotic about non sex things, so I get you on that front, but not really sex. I just don’t like receiving oral for a random reason. But it’s easy enough to say this to a guy and if it’s a dealbreaker then it’s a dealbreaker.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 07:42 PM
1

Ah understood!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 05:07 PM
1

Don’t mind it but equally can do without. That’s not ick motivated though, it just isn’t a turn on for me. Going backwards, I’d also argue fear of your first example (unprotected sex with a stranger) is not neurotic at all but sensible both from a pregnancy and STI POV.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 05:27 AM
1

Interestingly the answer is no to none of those. I don’t want anal but don’t find it gross, and not overly worried about unprotected sex beyond what a normal woman would be (which is probably a lot, but it can happen during casual sex sometimes so hey ho). BDSM has its place with the right partner for sure. I think I just read something on how the human mouth is one of the most germ infested places and it obviously stuck with me!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/22 09:27 PM
1

I never thought about it as neuroticism before because I’m not that way in the rest of my life, but it’s fair I suppose. Lucky for me it’s a very isolated thing!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/22 09:22 PM
1

Not who you responded to, but for me it’s that mouths are full of germs and gross. I don’t want a UTI and unfortunately I can’t shake that thought, no matter how good it feels nor how low the risk. I’d rather not receive ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/22 09:16 PM
1

No, that all makes sense. I was genuinely curious. For me personally I think a measure of each of those is good in a relationship, except maybe argumentative but I wouldn’t go for that in a friend or a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 07:51 PM
0

Out of interest, how do you think the traits differ?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 06:31 PM
2

Yup. Unremarkable and do not stand out, but for the person who likes them, they do stand out.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 05:36 PM
12

Yep, and we can’t mandate relationships. We cannot force people to live in a way they don’t want by dating someone they don’t want. So the only solution is for people to learn adult ways to deal with being alone or not getting who they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 05:16 PM
9

Men who act on it. You can never excuse violence towards others for this issue, in my opinion. It is completely illogical, and to be honest very childish, to start hurting people because you don’t get what you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 05:05 PM
8

Men tend to turn emotions outward, like anger. Women tend to turn emotions inward, like sadness. Not always, but it’s generally how genders divide. Is it such a leap to then see that men externalise their issues and push them out onto others, while women internalise theirs?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 05:02 PM
4

I just don’t see why it’s a problem. People are very similar but still are all different in the various combos of things they like, their upbringing etc. Its very hard to be someone totally different, and in itself that can be offputting. Most people are very happy dating someone like them, most average people link up with average people. No skin off anyone’s nose.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 12:16 PM
10

Sure, I don’t disagree with some people being stand out. But most people are pretty similar. Hence why certain shows, films, brands, sports etc catch on. They’re popular for most. But each average person has a unique combination of likes, plus their own history and their own wants and desires, that comes together to make each one slightly different.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 12:00 PM
19

They are two different things. Am I hit on regularly in daily life? No. Do I have orbiters? No. Do I have guys doing things for me left right and centre? No. But if I wanted it, it would be very easy to go online or out and find someone to have casual sex with. You would just need to go to the right settings.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 11:56 AM
29

Your post insinuates that average is bad or undesirable. It’s not, it’s just normal. One average guy will be better for one average girl than other average guy because their personalities and interests and values will mesh better. Average people aren’t all clones of each other. I’d say me and my friends are average, but we don’t share hobbies (I’m into fitness, they’d rather go to gigs and learn beauty regimes). We have each had normal relationships with average guys who have been special to us.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 11:53 AM
1

As a straight woman, I agree. I find more female body shapes attractive (not sexually) than I do male body shapes. Women tend to carry fat better, to a point, as they tend to gather it on hips and butt and boobs, whereas men tend towards getting a belly and boobs. Skinny women are broadly accepted as attractive, not so much for skinny men outside certain circles. All generalisations of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/22 02:59 PM
1

Yeah I’ve seen exactly that. I think more variations on the female body are accepted as attractive than the male body though, mainly on OLD rather than IRL.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/22 02:42 PM
1

They are. That’s the point. Guys aren’t fussy in my experience, that or I’m underrating myself. Or both.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/22 02:30 PM
1

Given I’m average, then yeah it’d be pretty easy to find some more attractive than me!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/22 02:23 PM
1

I’d say I’m about average, a 5-6 (better body than face), so I’d think so. I think at least half or more of the guys I see in the street are at least pleasant looking, or normal, so that’s not too problematic. Raw sexual attraction is so rare for me I don’t look for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/22 07:44 AM
51

Exactly, and I wouldn’t expect my male friends to do so either. I’m probably stronger than most of them! The fact OP says crumb of pussy in return shows he’s not actually friends with this girl, he expects something more that he doesn’t expect from his guy friends …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 08:16 PM
3

I agree - the one in the relationship holds 100% of the blame for ruining it, nobody can MAKE them cheat except themselves. However I do look down on those who knowingly pursue and get involved with married people. I would never knowingly date a cheater, nor someone who had been involved with a cheater.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 06:58 PM
9

Yes exactly - there’s more to it. You answered your own question.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 06:17 PM
10

Both parents are responsible for raising a good child. And children are influenced by more than their parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 06:15 PM
18

I don’t think I count as old, I’m 32, but I’m not against or jealous of teens/20s girls. If anything I feel protective of them. I hang out with a lot of them, they’re very fun. The naïveté can be startling at times, as well as the trust they can put in strange men. They have lessons to learn, as we all do!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 03:52 PM
4

According to sources (YouGov, statista), 28% of women had used OLD and 70% hadn’t. Even when looking by age, half of 18-34s had never used it, and only 14% were doing so at the time. We know men are more prolific users by the ratio stats.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 02:52 PM
3

32F Pretty easily if I went on an OLD app, probably same day. But it would be crap - the guy wouldn’t care about ‘me’, just about getting his dick wet, and that’s not what I’m about. I’m not a fan of casual as I like there to be some connection first.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 02:44 PM
4

It isn’t though. A minority of women use OLD.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 02:42 PM
4

Social media isn’t an ideal dating ground, so it was probably the right choice. If it was your main saying go-to though, then you only saw women on social media, not the eons of them who don’t or rarely use it, or just use it privately with friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 02:39 PM
6

I think it’s just reading context - it’s hard to tell online but often it’s deducible. I think the other issue is that ‘nice’ as a trait is very generic - it doesn’t make a guy stand out. It’s the absolute basics. Everyone needs more than just that to make them stand out.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 10:09 AM
6

The term came about because those guys call themselves nice guys. “I’m a nice guy, honest!” as he calls you names for not sending nudes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 08:33 AM
5

You can’t have empathy for people you don’t know?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/22 08:37 AM
3

That’s why men are far less likely to go to the doctor, to see therapists and to commit suicide right? Because they’re more likely to seek help for their problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/22 10:55 AM
13

This is absolutely true. We go eww thinking of someone’s genitals we don’t find sexually attractive. We’d feel like that about everyone if we weren’t wired to find what are ugly body parts attractive!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 05:51 PM
14

I agree with this. For me personally, I have in my opinion got more attractive in my early 30s than I was in my early 20s (low self confidence then). I got almost no attention in my early 20s and get loads now. Sure 30+ can be the start of real ageing for some, but really not everyone. Not with the lifestyles and access to healthy food, cosmetics etc we have now.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/22 12:26 PM
21

And if you went on a first date with someone and DID decide to blindly trust them, and got raped, then they’d say you need to choose better. It’s circular, and ridiculous.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 09:40 PM
10

It’s definitely possible to find a woman with a matching sex drive. I know some of my friends would put themselves as pretty similar to you - wanting it a couple of times a month.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/22 08:12 AM
2

How do they find you?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/22 07:07 AM
3

Yep exactly
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 05:45 PM
9

I agree with you. I’ve seen some self proclaimed incels who are actually attractive, and some that are average and totally normal looking. The mind is a prison.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 04:59 PM
8

That’s why I called it a stereotype rather than claim it to be true. I’m aware it isn’t applicable to all incels.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 04:54 PM
5

Some of them aren’t ugly. Their attitudes are though.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 04:43 PM
2

Getting him out of the house and learning to live as an adult is definitely a start. Through that process he’ll learn independence, become financially stable, interact with colleagues and make friends, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 03:27 PM
5

Yes this. I look at how they treat others equally as much as how they treat me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 03:15 PM
8

I’d give the parents advice instead: give your lazy son a kick up the arse - force him to get a job, start a move out plan, get him ready for real adult life. This man described is not a functioning adult, so if the end goal is a relationship, all of that needs to be fixed first.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 03:14 PM
24

Given the stereotype of incels is that they don’t tend to be out in social spaces much, women couldn’t approach them even if they wanted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 03:12 PM
4

In your example, the person gives an example of how many squats in a day. The OP did not for this CMV - except to talk about men fucking other men in prison which is totally unrelated to women’s attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 06:12 PM
4

Like I said, CMVs are for stress testing. But the time in to write a proper CMV and you’ll find people respond thoughtfully. Be lazy and people won’t give it the time of day, because why should they? The burden is on the OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 05:23 PM
3

Then, like I said, OP should have added parameters, like you’re asking commenters to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 04:52 PM
5

Yes, limits which OP did not give. It was a lazy CMV and now is being answered in kind. Worse; they spoke about men finding men attractive (that is NOT what prison studies show), not even an example relevant to women or within one’s own sexual orientation.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 04:51 PM
20

CMVs are literally for stress testing. This didn’t do too well.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 03:45 PM
24

You’re rejecting the entire premise of your post …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 03:23 PM
7

Attraction can certainly be relative - you get to know someone beyond their looks and they can become more attractive to you than they were based on looks alone. Womens attraction is often like this, it’s discussed regularly on here. But there are certain lines people will struggle to cross if there is genuinely no attraction at all. I know lots of men that I know I would and could never see in a sexual or romantic way. Time won’t change that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 03:23 PM
14

But attraction is fluid right?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 03:20 PM
12

Weirdness is so underrated. Surely everyone wants a partner that they can geek out with or quote silly tv shows and stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 11:36 AM
12

I’d say you’re very unlikely to be cold approached by women - some will but I think it’s rare, and women tend to be less looks-driven than men anyway which is often what drives a cold approach. Women are more likely to initiate contact if you have met through friendship circles, for example, where she knows you and feelings have time to grow.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 09:38 PM
4

Didn’t this literally get posted earlier today. Boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 09:04 PM
4

Yep. I made the first move for two of my three LTRs.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 03:29 PM
0

In certain contexts, used by certain people, yes. It’s not the word, it’s how the word is used by a certain type of man. You can argue it all you want but it is a red flag to many women.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 10:27 AM
0

Yep.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 10:11 AM
1

It’s just an odd form of speech, and it’s used by certain groups of men, that’s all. It makes people very easy to spot.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 09:42 AM
6

It’s not a normal way to speak about men. Same with using females instead of women. You can argue it all you want but it’s a big red flag for so many women.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 09:06 AM
1

Nah I’m a girl, and clearly a girl. Regardless of PC politics I clearly present as a woman and expect to be addressed that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 05:31 AM
4

It’s a jarring word and one that, in that situation, will make women walk away nine times out of ten. How odd would my sentence sound if I said two males chatted me up. It’s correct, but sounds ‘off’.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 05:30 AM
15

I saw the red pill in action tonight. Guys chatting my friend and I up. We weren’t interested, but he let ‘females’ slip and asked whether a guys earnings would factor in and whether we’d be traditional wives. We were out of there straightaway.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 01:06 AM
1

Yes. The things I described are 5s
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 01:01 AM
1

Not everyone shares the same views. Some women do, the majority couldn’t care less. Why does it bother me what a guy I’ll never meet does?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 05:19 PM
10

They do. They can feel that way. Doesn’t stop you going for what you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 05:05 PM
6

Oh definitely, I can see how it would work both ways for various male and female dominated things.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 04:52 PM
6

Definitely - I recognise this both in looks but also in the workplace and certain skills too!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 04:40 PM
3

As a woman I in no way think most men are unattractive! Most men are perfectly normal and it’s possible to find redeeming features in almost anyone physically. But yes, on your point, as a woman who keeps fit, fitness in a partner is attractive. It’s more mindset I think - I wouldn’t be well matched with someone who prefers to sit on their ass on all day.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 04:07 PM
20

I think you’re thinking of below average here. Average people aren’t ‘meh’. They’re just normal. And from my experience, normal people are still fun, can have some good looks, be social, have hobbies etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 02:47 PM
13

Not in the research I’ve read, including this article which includes an example research link. https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/social-instincts/201507/when-men-arent-good-looking-they-think?amp https://www.psypost.org/2020/06/study-offers-new-psychological-explanation-for-mens-tendency-to-overestimate-womens-romantic-interest-57167 It suggests men tend to overrate how sexually attractive people find them, and women less so. But it makes sense for men to do this to maximise their opportun…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 01:50 PM
8

I think the general gist is that men tend to overrate themselves and women underrate themselves. But I think that research was based on physical characteristics. Women look for the package and those intangible qualities you mentioned are included in that. I suppose it’s hard to rate what average is on those metrics, especially if you don’t have a large family, social circles and work colleagues to base a standard on?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 01:35 PM
26

Fine - most women on here don’t have a problem with it in reality - if you want and get a virgin, good for you. I suspect though that most men who want a virgin have always done so, and that isn’t something that changed. They just took what they could get when younger, if any at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 01:32 PM
1

Yeah I see my friends with kids less too, but we both keep the friendship going. And over time I’ve found more childfree friends - I think similarly minded people tend to find each other - about half my friendship group now are intentionally childfree. So I have my ongoing social life, and the special days where I see my friends with kids. It’s a good balance.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 10:42 AM
9

That’s true for some I’m sure. But whilst I adore babies and kids, I know deep in my gut I do not want my own. If I were to accidentally get pregnant, I’d accept that and deal with it. But it’s not the life I want. And sure maybe I’ll regret it when I’m in my 50s, but that will be my own cross to bear and I can contribute to society in other ways and focus on enriching my own life if I need. Your take is also a little short sighted - there are infertile people in the world. Are they destined to …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 08:51 AM
1

This. I had really low self esteem in school, but I pushed myself to do things I was uncomfortable doing, forced myself into social situations and a demanding job. Now my self esteem is great and I can directly relate it to my own hard work.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 08:46 AM
1

I agree self esteem is difficult to change and you can’t just decide to be confident and have high self esteem. BUT you can actively do things to help you improve it, like making friends, socialising, taking up hobbies or pursuing something you like or are good at. Performing well in your job. All of those things will help build self esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 08:44 AM
6

Then you’ve found what makes you happy, great for you. It isn’t guaranteed to make others happy in the same way. And you say the macro element - people will stop having kids which will crash society. You’re basically saying that left unobligated, people wont have kids on a massive scale. I don’t agree with that statement but Surely that tells you everything you need to know about how little most people actually want kids?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 08:39 AM
10

Wanting to enjoy life is a deplorable take? You can enjoy life while still being a good member of society, paying taxes, donating to charities, being a good neighbour. Allowing people to make their own decisions about what that looks like, whether that is having kids or not having kids, is stunted? We all die in the end, we may as well die looking back on a life well lived.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 08:32 AM
12

Humans are obsessed with finding meaning. People can just enjoy living their lives how they want, whether that involves kids or not. We don’t leave legacies. We’ll be forgotten in a couple of generations. There is no real meaning beyond enjoying the time you’re given.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 08:27 AM
1

I know, it is. But I probably spend too much time browsing this sub that it’s distorted my perception of how most normal guys think. My friends with kids have very strong marriages (from the outside at least) so it’s nowhere near guaranteed, but is it worth the risk for a woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 08:22 AM
9

Agree. I wouldn’t be in an open relationship, but in that hypothetical situation, I would say fine, and I’d get to sleep with other dudes too. Why should he get all the fun?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 06:54 AM
15

I think staying childfree has just become a more acceptable option now, so we’re seeing more of it. About half of my female friends don’t want children and neither do I. Life can be fulfilling without. All the time, social relationships, money, to use how you wish. And as you say, none of the health issues. It puts women in an incredibly vulnerable position., like with the pregnancy cheating starts you mentioned. Many women are also unable to have sex after birth for a year or more if there is t…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 06:47 AM
3

That’s your opinion and true for some but not others. My friendship group is a mix of married and singles and if anything our social lives have only improved into our 30s. In particular, as a single woman I know many other purposefully-single women and we all socialise together too.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 06:41 AM
3

Because not all women are a monolith. It’s just that staying single is now a viable and attractive option for some, in a way it wasn’t before.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 06:40 AM
68

Women generally have larger and closer friend circles and family relationships, so they can get their social needs met there. An LTR or marriage is a nice bonus on top of that but it’s not 100% necessary unless you want kids, and really not even then. Women tend to be brought up now to look after themselves, get good careers etc and not be taught to marry for security like used to be the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/22 06:32 PM
1

It’s bonobos right? I think people just refer to them as chimps since they look similar.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/22 08:56 PM
1

And ever borrowed trousers? Someone may have gone commando. Tops? Someone may have ejaculated on it. Regardless, this discussion is pointless. Enjoy being grossed out all your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 10:30 AM
2

If it was washed properly yes. How do you feel about underwear? Worn tons of times, rubbing against a persons genitals and ass all day every day. They get washed and are fine to wear again. It sounds like you should speak to someone about this - it feels like it’s a fear of germs multiplied beyond normal levels.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 10:27 AM
2

If it was my partner yep. If not, no, but after it was washed, yep.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 10:22 AM
6

Feminist laughs you mean. This is a hilarious post.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 10:20 AM
5

You have touched your own semen, vomit and poop before. Presumably you think nobody should ever touch you?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 10:06 AM
15

Damn you’re going to hate learning about the bacteria on money, tv controls, toilet door handles … Also this post is low effort as hell so I hope people don’t try to debate you on this.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 09:44 AM
1

They feel very linked. If someone is socially awkward, they are probably not going to be great at a first approach, or a LTR. Both of which are inherently social acts. Sure, if they approach a socially awkward woman, then it’ll probably be fine. But they’d have less chance with a woman who is a social butterfly.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/22 07:07 PM
0

Yep. And both are made far harder if one is socially awkward or outright inept.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/22 06:13 PM
1

It’s never bothered me. I just want him to be hardworking and ambitious, as I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/22 10:24 AM
3

I didn’t think white western men finding wives in SE Asia was unusual. It’s a pretty common trope that a Western guy who is undesirable to women in his own country can go get a wife there …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/22 10:23 AM
14

This. I definitely have a soft spot for each of the few guys I have had sex with, all in LTRs. It’s a very intimate thing. But no I wouldn’t get back with them, we broke up for a reason and weren’t right for each other. I do not believe my ability to bond or my inherent value have changed. It’s such a reductive way of thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/22 10:17 AM
1

Then it’s unlikely we’d be compatible. A relationship is after all a social thing. If someone is too socially awkward then just existing together can be incredibly difficult for someone who is socially adept. Two socially awkward people together would work fine though I imagine, they’d just find it harder to find each other…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/22 08:59 AM
5

I wouldn’t call it off, but I’d be on high alert for signs of why that was the case for him before.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/22 10:24 PM
1

But again, it’s only a minority of women. Most don’t act that way, and the minority are unlikely to be enough to cause any large societal shift.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 09:45 AM
1

It’s just not the case in real life. Couples of high, mixed or low ns get together all the time. Most of my friends are far higher N than me and are in LTRs and married. The revenge fantasy is just that, a fantasy.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 09:36 AM
1

Then let them be paranoid. They can feel how they want and it won’t change anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 09:30 AM
1

This is interesting. What does a man get out of being with a submissive woman? Is it that he likes being in control/being a protector/provider?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 09:26 AM
1

No but they care about the easy access, because they’d like as easy access to women as women apparently have to men. And not all men on this sub feel this way clearly, but there are some that admit to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 09:25 AM
2

Not jealous of the women. But jealous of her apparently easy access to casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 09:11 AM
1

My comment didn’t say they can’t, I was asking why.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 09:11 AM
3

Then don’t choose them. No big deal. The fact is that only a minority of women engage in regular casual sex. Most do not, so it’s not even like your option pool is vastly reduced by wanting low-n women, unless you specifically want a virgin.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 08:54 AM
1

Why is submissive the goal?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 08:43 AM
8

Exactly. Most of the queen comments are from women gassing each other up. It’s a good thing, to make other people feel good! I think it’s probably a bit of alien concept for men, who don’t seem to do the same. In my mixed friendship groups I never hear guys compliment each other, it’s more competitive. It’s sad really.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 08:14 AM
4

I don’t think they’re wrong to be jealous, or to feel how they feel. But it’s the dressing it up as something else to make it palatable. If you’re jealous just own it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 07:40 AM
1

Agreed on that at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 07:16 AM
-1

Still doesn’t equate to value though. It’s a very shallow way to view a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 07:14 AM
10

The ick is fine, it just usually seems to come from jealousy. Most of the guys on here who get the ick for higher n girls largely seem to do so because they can’t get casual sex themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 07:12 AM
0

Why does value come from sex, or lack of it?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 07:10 AM
28

I don’t see why it’s a big deal. You want to rate yourself highly, go for it. Doesn’t affect me. I’ve also rarely come across a woman who says she’s a 10/10. Most are far more insecure than that and studies show women tend to underrate themselves compared to men, who tend to overrate.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 06:40 AM
1

We are in agreement on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 04:22 PM
2

Shouldn’t undesirable behaviour be eliminated then?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 10:41 PM
3

For women having these rules is the only way to attempt to avoid being inundated with matches from people who just want sex, from anyone. Sure, it doesn’t always work, but if I swiped right on everyone I’d get so many matches I’d never have time to meet them all. I’m saving myself time and effort by attempting to narrow it down to the most likely few.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 04:22 PM
3

Yeah, I don’t disagree with your method at all. It’s just both genders coming at it differently: women do pay attention to profiles beyond photos, searching for a sign of compatibility. Men don’t pay attention to profiles beyond photos, but therefore often don’t put that much effort into their profiles, which means fewer matches from women.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 03:40 PM
5

I am a woman yes - the stricter vetting process is real! For exactly the reasons I’ve described. A man cannot be attracted to/feel he would genuinely get on with 70%+ of women, and I don’t want to try date a guy who just wants ‘a woman’ and not me for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 03:36 PM
6

Exactly - guys should have these standards. Only swipe on people you have a genuine interest in, and women will stop being inundated and worrying about how many of these guys just go ‘female? Tick!’
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 03:31 PM
3

I mean if you have all the time in the world to do that for 100s of women find. I don’t use OLD any more but when I did, I’d maybe get through 20 profiles before getting bored and swipe on 1-2 of them because I felt we might be compatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 03:25 PM
3

This is part of the problem though. If you’re right swiping on 100s of women, you can’t be paying that much attention to their looks and profiles etc. Do you really think you’d be compatible with that many women? Womens’ vetting process is made much stricter by the idea that guys have probably swiped right on everyone to get a match, it’s not like they’ve looked at me and thought, oh interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 03:15 PM
1

Yup. GameBOY. Luckily I was a tomboy as a young girl so that never put me off.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/22 02:41 PM
5

If you want a virgin, maybe. If you’re not bothered about ncount then nope, all good
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/22 01:18 PM
2

But are far more susceptible to death from childbirth - a figure which outstrips war. Even now with the quality of healthcare in rich countries, it is still a risky business. Not saying women should be compensated for it, mind, just pointing it out.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 03:01 PM
3

I think this is it - women just exist with the knowledge that they are physically weaker than the majority of men, and it can be unsettling at times. I think there’s a reason why women are often attracted to taller men than them, who also show they can be sensitive and protective. It’s something women can’t do for themselves so is that sexual dimorphism on display.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 02:59 PM
7

That’s it - it’s not usually the same person saying both things. Person A says I have these standards, I won’t lower them and I’m fine being single. Person B says I hate being single but can’t find anyone. If Person B’s priority is a relationship, then they do have to lower their standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 05:23 PM
16

Yep, reverse the situation and guys would 100% be calling that baggage.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 08:51 AM
3

Exactly that. I’ve seen it over and over again - not that looks are all a guy has to offer, but lookswise, men punching upwards isn’t uncommon.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 08:26 AM
10

I’ve often thought this. With men asking to go on a date, particularly cold approaches, there’s often this feeling of ‘Well why wouldn’t you?’ Without any regard for the fact that maybe I wouldn’t find him attractive. I find that women tend to hem and haw a bit about whether they’re pretty enough for a guy, especially if they want to approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 07:33 AM
7

I think so. They’re fit and probably confident. Height isn’t all that - you got it right in your post - most people won’t accurately estimate height anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 07:32 AM
3

Male thirst is quite literally the catalyst of most discussions on this sub. It makes women the choosers and men the buyers. That’s the root.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 07:26 AM
19

This. I have a load of family and friends, I have plans every day I’m not working. If a man pops up and can add to this, great, but I’m not looking to take on someone who makes my life harder. Happier being free.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 08:44 AM
6

The fuck is this. So this is what erotica would be like if it were written by a man? 🥴
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 08:39 AM
2

Exactly - a range of looks, status, etc - not always identifiable in advance because there isn’t a single trait which is a clear red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 12:21 PM
7

I think that’s the point. Some relationships might and do become abusive, they’re rarely ‘spot-able’ before it happens. And abuse is not limited to attractive, confident guys. Have you seen cases when they hit the news? Half the time they’re ugly and poor.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 07:38 AM
8

This is exactly the point. In a relationship he might change. But so might an abuser - they might be great before, and in a relationship change into something you didn’t expect.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 07:21 AM
0

Last time I looked people don’t get addicted to OF. Addicted to porn yes, but that’s freely available.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 12:01 PM
6

Nope. People need somewhere to live, there isn’t an alternative choice for those who can’t afford to buy. There is an alternative to buying OF or other types of porn. Having a wank is not the same category of need as a roof over your head.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 12:00 PM
4

Again, that ‘have to’ pay. You don’t have to pay. There is more free porn than you could ever watch in your lifetime.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 07:38 AM
19

And that’s not women preying. That’s men choosing to solve their problems that way rather than by alternative means. What about men who pay for mass-produced porno dvds or titty magazines? They’re also being preyed on too, by big corporations, by this logic right?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 11:00 PM
11

Drugs are harmful and can kill. There isn’t an alternative. Jacking off to stuff you willingly paid for can’t kill you. Porn is a free online alternative to OF.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 10:48 PM
17

How is it preying? Those men are choosing to use OF and pay. They could use the tons of free porn elsewhere online instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 10:47 PM
10

In what ways is it unethical? They’re using their own time, they’re not being exploited (we hope), they aren’t forcing anyone to pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 10:46 PM
2

I am friends with an ex, and I don’t ask him for anything material, nor he of me. We enjoy each other’s company. I think it’s an individual thing, not a friends with an ex thing. Having said that, it was a bit rubbish of her to not lend you a small bit of cash.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 09:22 PM
11

I think for a woman it’s probably more likely to be someone they know, and the opposite for men. Generalising here but it feels like women cheat emotionally first, then need that connection, and men cheat for sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 07:33 PM
16

This. Nobody is accurately predicting exact height like that. I wouldn’t know if some of my mates are 5’10 / 6’ / 6’2, all I see is they’re taller than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 07:32 PM
1

I’ve never claimed it’s not difficult for men, it is. But posts like this where people ask for advice then shoot every bit of it down are pretty pointless. My previous LTRs have all been through friends of friends, so going out socialising. The majority of my friends who are now married or in LTRs met this way. Saying it doesn’t work is false, but LTRs aren’t going to fall into anyone’s lap.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 10:58 AM
1

I mean if you just pick holes in every possible avenue then I can see why you are where you are
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 10:32 AM
1

Funny how it works for the majority. For what it’s worth I agree cold approaching in bars, and relations at work, are both not great. But it’s not like they’re the only options if people have healthy social lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 10:26 AM
1

I would say they’re average. Nice faces, but there are SO many guys on Bumble they’ll just get lost in the crowd. There’s no hook.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/22 09:53 AM
3

Exactly. Nothing I didn’t already say or refute, and why some men are more prone to certain illnesses than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 07:53 PM
2

If you read my explanation you’d know I said I phrased it wrong. Testosterone is not bad but it is a factor in why men die earlier than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 07:53 PM
5

Also been tested in bone marrow and other types of cells. It’s not an unusual conclusion - the Y chromosome is why many conditions are present in men and less so in women - the two Xs cancel out a problem, whereas a problem in X or Y in men can’t be.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 04:52 PM
3

Keep reading til you get to my explanation further down. I phrased it badly but it is a factor in many illnesses hence why men suffer from heart disease more. And yes, just like too much water will kill you, so will high levels of testosterone make you more prone to illnesses. The x/y chromosome one is also v interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 04:49 PM
1

It’s not a six pack or anything, it’s just to have a general level of fitness. It’s easy to tell who gyms, even if they’ve got a dad bod.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 09:47 PM
5

Good point - smelling nice is a total win for both genders! I don’t often notice aftershave on men so it makes men who do wear it stand out.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 09:15 PM
12

You’re right I could - it’s just how. We have short convos just when we happen to be in the kitchen together or pass in the hall, we’re not close. Equally, why should I tell a man in his early 30s about basic hygiene? He’s a functioning adult with a job and hobbies.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 09:13 PM
11

I didn’t phrase that very well - but it has toxic side effects. Testosterone increases bad cholesterol and decreases good cholesterol (estrogen does the opposite) which is why men are more likely to suffer from heart disease. High levels of testosterone increase the likelihood of liver issues, hypertension, prostrate enlargement and so on. What’s also super interesting is that the Y chromosome degenerates over the lifespan. This increases likelihood of illness. Women have two Xs, so degeneration…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 09:08 PM
10

But love and relationships aren’t always objective and scientific … You can’t always quantify feelings or why someone fell for this person over that person. Reducing it to chemicals is a really sad way of looking at it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 08:58 PM
18

And men also tend to die earlier due to more health issues (that they’re less likely to seek help for than women) and testosterone. It is toxic to the body.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 08:47 PM
2

I mean fine, they were just examples of quiet activities, not a to do list 😂 But yeah if you don’t have friends, getting a girlfriend is going to be hard, unfortunately. Social stuff is hard and takes practice, and relationship stuff is even harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 07:36 PM
2

I understand that. But it doesn’t have to all be loud. It can be sitting in a park with friends, board game cafes, hiking groups, etc. A relationship is going to be extremely difficult to come by if one side doesn’t socialise, both in finding someone and in maintaining a relationship. Besides that, being someone’s everything is awful. Not many people want a relationship like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 06:49 PM
2

So you mean some people can only communicate properly online? That’s fine but they’re never going to have an in person relationship then are they? They cut off the majority of the ways of finding a partner, making a hard game even harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 06:27 PM
27

I think men can get by with the basics - working out, doing a bit of basic skincare, decent haircut and clothes. I dont think women need or want men to accentuate their jawlines and wear makeup, like just do the basics and you’ll be fine. My flatmate moans about not getting women, but I’ve heard him shower maybe twice in a week and when he goes into a room it smells stale after he’s left. I mean, come on. He’s not even bad looking if he was just clean.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 05:19 PM
1

We should just encourage all young people (well everyone really) to go out and socialise rather than spending so much time online on social media or dating sites. Meeting people in real life through friends and acquaintances seems one of the most commonly successful ways of finding relationships, and getting people out and socialising is never detrimental.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 05:11 PM
0

If you don’t love a man you don’t fuck him? What about one night stands?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 02:40 PM
10

Want what you want, you just might not get it. A low-n woman, probably. There’s loads of them and some won’t care about sexual history. But a virgin woman is different to a low-n woman - likely she’s a virgin for a reason that won’t align with a promiscuous man’s behaviour, like religion or saving herself for marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 02:34 PM
21

Yup. All this pair bond rubbish but a guy who’s slept around is probably likely to continue wanting to sleep around after marriage. Why would I trust he’ll settle down?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 02:32 PM
1

Sure. And men do the same to be attractive to women. Why is it worth discussing?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 09:09 PM
1

I’m single and don’t want a relationship right now. I almost exclusively go out with my girlfriends at the moment. If a man approached me he’d get shut down straightaway, I’d rather not be approached, so not the reason for me right now no.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 07:49 PM
3

It’s just for confidence. I feel like I look better with my hair and makeup done. I want whoever I’m out with to think I look nice - family, friends, whatever. It’s not for sexual attention for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 09:18 PM
28

My grandmother is the same. A long marriage to my granddad but not always a happy one, and she said if she could do it over she’d never have got married. Seems pretty common.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 05:58 PM
8

This. The problem is the ‘love’ appears easy to get but can be fake - a guy pretends to like a girl to have regular access to sex. I’ve had guys fall over themselves agreeing with all my opinions and it’s like, dude you will not get into my pants by being a wet blanket.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 05:43 PM
1

I don’t require a provider, I earn very well and don’t expect a man to make more than me. I expect an equal partner in life, not a daddy. Ew.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 10:47 AM
1

It’s not ‘my role’ any more, I work full time. It’s a shared role, we both live there. If I was a SAHW/M then sure, I’ll do it all. But not many women want that crap any more.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 08:45 AM
2

Either way, as we say in the UK, they’re obviously a real “barrel of laughs”
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 04:52 PM
2

Fair enough, it’s change my view on some other Reddit subs.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 04:46 PM
4

Or a man masquerading as a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 04:46 PM
1

Makes sense
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 04:45 PM
1

Yup, when you’re managing a grown adult baby.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 11:05 AM
2

I’m loving that famous Amish internet 😎
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 10:51 AM
1

It’s mental load.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 10:40 AM
1

Yup, those are the echo chambers.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 10:40 AM
2

I haven’t really had experience of people making those quips, except online where the crappy echo chambers abound.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 10:27 AM
1

It does when you’re the one responsible for planning when the shopping needs doing, how many loads of laundry need doing, has the bathroom been cleaned, delegating tasks to a man who doesn’t even see they need doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 10:26 AM
11

Can’t you be both?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 09:22 AM
50

Why write a CMV when you make it very clear you won’t be changed? Christ it’s like purge week here with low effort crap at the moment.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 09:21 AM
3

This. There are horrible men and women, and good ones too. The good ones outnumber the horrible ones. Don’t listen too much to online echo chambers - they amplify minority views.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 08:42 AM
1

Managing a household for multiple people is harder than managing it for yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 08:40 AM
1

It’s different managing a household for two. Women take on more of that than men on average.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 06:54 AM
2

Implied that that 2% are guys that are instantly attractive enough to do it with. I don’t actually do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 06:52 AM
3

They do it. I’ve said that. But there’s a mega leap from destroying society by two mates complimenting each other to make each other feel good. Honestly if more guys gassed each other up they’d all be happier too.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 09:32 PM
3

I’ve not done that though? I’ve said I find things that I do like. A fat person can have great hair, makeup or jewellery. And why you have a bee in your bonnet I have no idea. What is it to you if people you don’t know or like compliment each other?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 09:24 PM
3

Jesus the black and white thinking is extraordinary. It’s friends being nice to each other. So what if they gas each other up? If a guy thinks a woman is beneath him, he doesn’t have to date her. Her ego doesn’t affect him.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 08:49 PM
4

Not in my friendship group so I can’t speak for others Regardless does it matter? I tell my mate she can get anyone she wants. She can’t, and she has to deal with that. Why does it wind men up? It’s her problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 06:54 PM
2

Yep won’t deny that when it comes to giving compliments to friends :)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 06:54 PM
4

Exactly. Usually not spotting red flags is seen as a woman’s problem. It’s nice to see people are consistent with genders reversed.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 06:53 PM
8

Notice how I disagree and say most.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 06:53 PM
16

I think most want to in the end. They just don’t want to necessarily marry the first guy they date.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 05:12 PM
3

It’s not my job as a friend to make someone better (in my opinion). My friends are my friends because of who they are and not who I want them to be. But I take your point about lying. But no, my compliments don’t extend to ‘you can get any guy you want, queen’. That’s not a usual friend conversation for me. Most are dating within their own range anyway, like most do.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 04:57 PM
4

I agree with you here - there are not always red flags. But a lot of the discourse on this sub is about women vetting men badly, so I’m not surprised the reverse is being spoken about here.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 04:04 PM
8

Complimenting. I always pick something I genuinely like about them - like their hair, clothing taste, makeup etc. Its not like I go round telling my fat friends they’re skinny. But at the end of the day if some people do lie, does it matter? The person feels good about themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 03:58 PM
7

Emotional labour includes managing the household and children.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 03:35 PM
9

Does it matter though? They’re my friends, I want to make them feel good, so I’ll compliment their hair, outfit, whatever. There’s nothing nefarious in it, just making others feel good and they make me feel good too.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 03:35 PM
31

Exactly. Even the most masculine men will hug his partner and tell her he loves her and go all weak kneed during a blow job. They’re not at odds 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 03:31 PM
2

I’m happy being alone - but I’m also open to that changing when I get older if I don’t find anyone. Time will tell!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 03:30 PM
1

I was responding to the commenter’s questions, not the original post.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 01:14 PM
1

Probably. That’s where the stereotype of gentle giant etc comes from I guess. But for an ONS that would be primarily based on raw physical attraction. For anything else then yes, who they are becomes even more important than looks, for me anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 12:10 PM
1

Doesn’t matter if they cry after. If I wanted a hot and heavy ONS I’d leave straightaway after. But that’s not my thing so this is just hypothetical.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 11:41 AM
1

Then they should own their choice to settle and get on with it. People of both genders settle every day, and most don’t feel hard done by. We aren’t all getting 10/10 men and women as partners, and that’s okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 10:13 AM
1

Yep.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 09:26 AM
4

But the majority of marriages and relationships don’t have big age gaps. If the men are settling, more fool them.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 09:25 AM
2

I could turn that statement round and it’d still be true. If guys aren’t offering girls enough to stay a virgin, why should they?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 08:53 AM
1

Early 30s. Primal is just there, it’s that raw physical attraction where it doesn’t matter what they’re like. It’s rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 08:52 AM
2

So you’re a virgin until marriage then right? If you clearly expect that a woman should have zero dating history before you.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 08:28 AM
3

Studying, travelling, starting work, finding out what they liked and wanted and who they were? But it doesn’t matter - you go for who you want. If you get one, good for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 08:18 AM
2

Not all of them. Find the ones that aren’t. Most of the women in my social group had found their forever partner by about 25-28.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 08:11 AM
1

Well don’t play the waiting game. Men in their teens and 20s partner up all the time. Get out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 08:08 AM
2

Make a post for it. I’d also consider turning the q round - the same applies for guys in that situation too right?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 07:53 AM
2

I don’t think anyones disputing that people generally date within their own attractiveness range.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 07:36 AM
6

If I had a choice between an attractive guy who was vapid and nothing going on mentally, and an ugly guy who shared my interests and was funny, it’s be the ugly guy all day long And I wouldn’t consider that settling for me if I got the personality and bond I wanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 07:12 AM
1

I mean it could be anything, I don’t really have a type. Surfer dudes, jacked dudes, whatever. It’s more about the way they carry themselves. Celebrities I guess would be like Jason Momoa, Oscar Isaacs, anyone who can generate that primal attraction. Not many guys in the street do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 07:10 AM
3

Looks don’t matter for dating much, the package is more important. They do matter to have that raw attraction for an ONS, without knowing anything else about the guy, but I don’t do that anyway. This isn’t a difficult distinction.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 07:09 AM
10

Statistics show the vast majority of married couples are very close in age. Physical attraction isn’t the only component in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 06:56 AM
1

Thanks (and on this sun it’s a sad state of affairs that someone has to clarify their well wishes) I hope things improve for you. In my experience of women, who you are is more important than what you give. You just need to find those ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 05:28 PM
4

This is it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 05:05 PM
5

I don’t think you can infer status from looks really. And tbh in real life I wouldn’t sleep with a stranger, I don’t do casual and it’s too risky. But there’s probably 1-2% of guys who are hot enough that in my head I’d be like, yep I could imagine banging you.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 04:05 PM
3

It’s a lot to do with i’d struggle to feel comfortable or sexually free having sex with a stranger. And looks really aren’t all that, to me anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 03:21 PM
18

Maybe 1-2% of guys I see in my age range I would sleep with off the bat. BUT that would likely increase if I could talk to and get to know some of the others. So much of my attraction comes from knowing the person a bit - how do they speak, are they funny, confident, lighthearted etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 01:45 PM
1

How do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 01:39 PM
1

And you wouldn’t enjoy those things unless you liked them as people. My friends’ humour, kindness, sociability etc is why I like them but it’s what makes them, them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 12:32 PM
1

Then I’ll happily stay single until I find the person that likes me for me. You value friends for who they are, not what they can give you. Relationships can be the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 11:27 AM
3

I think they find them attractive for certain reasons. Lookswise often not, not many people age well beyond 40ish. But if they’re funding their dates, their lifestyle etc, then some younger girls will be attracted to that. I’d say it’s a certain type of young girl that goes for an older dude (thinking 40+ here)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 09:12 PM
4

The post is about sleeping with lots of people, rather than a relationship focus. The number of options actually makes this more difficult because it’s an extra layer to weed out - who is just wanting sex vs who actually wants to stick around for an LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 07:28 PM
6

Yup I had similar. Guys messaged where it was clear from our profiles we had fundamental differences. You need to want me for me, not because I’m a woman …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 06:40 PM
5

It depends on the person - but not all women are interested in casual sex, so having offers of casual sex is pointless. I don’t gain anything. It’s not a positive. And by attractive, I mean in any sense. It’s fine having offers everywhere but if we don’t like the same things, are maybe matched on our extra/introversion levels, I’m not gaining anything. I’d rather be left alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 05:10 PM
12

That’s fine but that also wasn’t your post/question, that would be a CMV. Your question was what do guys get wrong - I answered from my POV.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 03:44 PM
35

The impression that having all these options is a good thing. Most women don’t care. And that having an endless amount of offers from people you don’t find attractive isn’t all that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 03:37 PM
2

Guys who are hot in their 40s were hot when they were younger. The kinds of guys targeting younger girls, especially those in bars, are usually the greasy, sleazy type.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 02:45 PM
1

I would think the same, yes. I know someone who has done that, and she is just a bit of a doormat/pathetic dating a guy who looks like a little boy and he likes her money.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 02:44 PM
3

This is it. I’ve never once seen an older guy with a much younger girl and not thought that clearly he’s not good enough to get a woman his own age. Why don’t they want him?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 07:35 AM
1

That’s fine, and makes sense. But most aren’t given the option.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 07:33 AM
5

But most guys don’t get the luxury of choosing.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 12:37 AM
3

The wall isn’t really that big of a deal. Women of any age will still be able to get dates and a relationship.
/r/AllPillDebate03/09/22 10:20 AM
3

The wall isn’t really that big of a deal. Women will always be able to get dates at any age. People age, big deal.
/r/AllPillDebate03/09/22 10:20 AM
19

What do you want the responses to this post to be? This is just a rant. It sounds like you’ve been surrounding yourself with bad people to be honest. I’m British too and my experiences of my family, friends and colleagues has been entirely different. Most people are good first and foremost.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/22 09:31 AM
20

This is the one. Often here it’s ignored that good looking older men were almost always good looking younger men too.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/22 09:25 AM
3

You might be surprised one day. There’s not always red flags.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 07:11 AM
18

Spoken like someone with no experience of it. It absolutely can happen like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 01:35 PM
1

Yeah I take your point there. It probably wouldn’t work out relationshipwise for me anyway to have a big difference in extraversion/introversion between us.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 05:11 PM
3

It absolutely factors in. If all other things were equal, I would choose the guy with an active social life over one with nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 05:05 PM
2

I agree with the poster you’re replying to. It is anchor-like if you’re dating someone with no mates. I want to go out with my mates. Eventually I’ll feel guilty leaving my partner alone. I’ll feel pressured to invite them even though I don’t want to. Having someone reliant entirely on you for their social life is stressful.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 04:57 PM
2

Obviously it depends on the hobby I think, but it’s definitely a good way to make friends generally, and then the likelihood is you’ll be introduced to friends of friends, and your group will grow and therefore your exposure to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 03:54 PM
2

Really? I mean if you’re in the middle of nowhere then sure, but any and every city will have something. Google, and also local town halls and libraries usually advertise local groups and stuff too.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 02:54 PM
2

Anything - if you like art, gardening, collecting things, dancing, board gaming, even sneakers! There’s clubs for everything and you’ll meet a ton of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 02:34 PM
1

Well if you have extra criteria like skin colour or culture then yeah, you’re narrowing your potential friendship pool.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 12:12 PM
26

Work, gym, hobby classes, sports clubs, going out with what friends you do have and meeting their friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 11:55 AM
4

You’re an adult who can decide how you act, so you do you. By becoming a mean person you are just sealing the deal though.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 11:46 AM
3

Yeah, but that’s not the case any more. Women can earn their own money, have babies without being married and stuff. Marriage is much more optional now which is great.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 10:49 AM
6

Women are the selectors. They, by and large, control which men get sex and reproduce. It’s common across the animal world. Men will always want women, and a broad spectrum of women. Women want what they want and if they don’t get it they tend to be fine enough without it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 10:35 AM
4

So you’re not actually a nice guy then.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 10:13 AM
3

I just find it interesting - the majority of views are so different to what I experience in my daily life. It is depressing though, I’m a woman and seeing how a lot of people speak about us is pretty meh. Same way men feel with all the anti male sentiment on social media I guess.
/r/AllPillDebate27/08/22 11:38 AM
2

Toxicity isn’t always obvious immediately. I was friends with a guy for years before we dated, super close, first year of dating also went great, then the emotional abuse started - the manipulation, the silent treatment, the control. It’s not like all women are like oh you’re an awful man, I’ll date you!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 10:11 PM
28

I don’t want kids. I’m not old, in my early 30s, but right now I’m ambivalent about having a partner. Maybe one day, but I’m not really concerned about it right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 09:26 PM
5

Helpful contribution to the debate, thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 04:11 PM
14

The concern for me there would be why do you think you are “better”? In my relationships I’ve found both parties bring different things to the table, none necessarily better than the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 02:48 PM
1

Currently E but only because I’ve not experienced B. I genuinely wouldn’t be able to tell who my friends would like, it’s so specific to that particular girl.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 08:09 PM
1

Exactly that. And if a guys taller than me, to be honest I wouldn’t be able to accurately tell you his height anyway. Taller is taller, 5’9, 5’11, 6’1 whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 07:38 PM
4

I never let those relationships go far enough. There were just some discussions about our future that assumed we would be married to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 07:29 PM
7

Based on my friends over time, I’d say varied. Lookswise there’s been preferences for thin, fat, muscular, blond, brown-haired. All heights, pretty much. Personality and interests again a mix, serious, fun, indie, normie, gamer guy. Probably overall there’s a general preference for not overweight guys who are taller than the girl, but that seems to be as far as it goes in my experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 07:19 PM
4

1. Of the three relationships I’ve been in, in two the guy talked seriously about marriage. I personally don’t know if I am marriage material but that’s apparently how I’m seen. I am pretty low-n and not into casual though so that might be it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 07:16 PM
1

Honestly as a woman I can’t tell the difference between 5’10 vs 6’ vs 6’2. 6ft is not some all important holy grail. Definitely looking at my mates and who I see in public, they’re all normal people, a range of heights.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 07:35 AM
1

People just need to know their worth. Don’t let anyone treat you badly, or like you’re lesser than them. I’d be out of the door for any of those things in the list and having been a victim of emotional abuse, the perpetrators really cannot bear it when you confront them. It’s satisfying.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 10:52 AM
1

That’s some kinks. Not all kinks involve simulated harm - people have kinks for different body parts, clothing styles or materials, job roles etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 10:32 AM
6

As in, you would add friends from her social media and ask them questions about her?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 07:41 AM
5

Why would men always want to cheat? Why wouldn’t they be happy with what they have?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 01:48 PM
7

I don’t necessarily feel remorse - but depending on the scenario I would have empathy for the person I’m rejecting. It can’t be nice to be told no after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 01:43 PM
3

N count isn’t important to me. If he was a virgin the first couple of times might be awkward/unsatisfying but I don’t mind that since there’s room for improvement. Cheating history is important though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/22 10:32 AM
7

Nope, the proportion of women in healthcare fields compared to women overall is not high enough to have that overall effect. I’m not saying women categorically have it harder than men. I’m saying each gender bears their burdens and this is one that tends to fall to women over men. Daughters are much more like to care for their infirm parents than sons.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 04:49 PM
7

Nope - women of any age are much more likely than men to have to become carers to older family members, such as their mothers or fathers. Reputable UK link for ref: https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/healthandsocialcare/healthandwellbeing/articles/fullstorythegendergapinunpaidcareprovisionisthereanimpactonhealthandeconomicposition/2013-05-16 Likely to be similar in other western countries.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 03:54 PM
7

But if you’re one of the majority of guys who doesn’t choose a hard job and doesn’t break the law, your responsibilities are pretty much the same. If not less - women are far more likely to become caretakers of family members in their old age than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 03:44 PM
10

From what I see on this sub, some men have substantially less control over their lives. They can’t get sex or relationships, many aren’t successful in other areas either, (and the ones that are well adjusted stand out by a mile in comparison) where by and large the women are either happily in relationships or happily single.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 03:40 PM
21

I’m female but I think I’m naturally more on the stoic and silent side, so I think that is an easier role, but I imagine it’s very much personality influenced rather than gender per se. I would absolutely struggle being submissive and agreeable if I didn’t feel that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 03:32 PM
2

He’s been fucking other girls for months too. That’s not being with her. PPD guys make no sense. Many want girls with low n counts who don’t have casual sex. This girl wants commitment before having sex and she’s wrong now?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 10:41 AM
3

It is if they’re not committed.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 09:20 AM
11

I’m not sleeping with any dude unless there is a relationship commitment. I don’t have casual sex. If he wants sex outside a relationship then he’s not for me. We’re just mates.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/22 11:54 AM
3

It isn’t a relationship, that’s the whole point. OP is deciding on that. For her, before the relationship, there is no sex. It’s platonic for now.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/22 11:13 AM
2

Oh my god it has a name!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 03:37 PM
1

I mean I get frustrated often. But I go home and binge watch tv shows and eat takeaways. There are healthier(ish) outlets for frustration. Exercise, self-improvement, moving somewhere new etc. Harming others is never acceptable no matter what.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 03:27 PM
0

That assumes the most attractive person isn’t also a good person. Regardless, the crux of the matter is people can have preferences. Whether they get what they want or not is a different matter but that doesn’t affect us.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 12:56 PM
0

Well Godspeed to you, unconventional but hey if it works and you’re both happy!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 12:02 PM
1

It’ll work for some girls but not others, depending on what they want. I don’t do casual sex so if a guy isn’t interested in getting to know me and in me getting to know him, I’m not interested. Just like I wouldn’t get married if all the guy wanted was to have a sex dispenser living with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 10:12 AM
1

I don’t think cute is a word with a sexual connotation though. Obviously sexual attraction lies at the heart of why people approach and get approached. Some of us would just rather it is a bit sugarcoated so we can feel like you want to get to know us rather than just sleep with us.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 10:02 AM
2

Cute is fine too. I think women just hear a lot of nice ass, nice tits, you’re hot, and all of these come across very sexually. Therefore making us think it’s just about a quick bang, and is probs why a lot of guys get rejected right off the bat.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 09:51 AM
2

I think there’s a difference between someone complimenting you on your boobs (which by and large you cant change except with surgery) and the way I’ve chosen to dress or do my hair, or what shoes I’ve picked. I’ve put effort into those things on purpose. I can’t help having an ass and boobs. Does that make any sense?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 09:32 AM
2

I’m really interested in this situation - if you wanted to say more about it. Do you genuinely get on as a pair? Conversations, laughter, interests etc?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 09:24 AM
2

I didn’t mean it that way, I didn’t word it well. Men obviously approach women because they’re attracted. I’m saying that what you say to her is then a good indicator of whether she’ll respond positively or not. If someone said to me oh you’re hot/nice boobs, I’d assume they were looking for an easy lay and reject. If they said something about my hair or my clothes, i.e. not immediately sexual, it feels more thoughtful and I might be more inclined to see where the convo goes.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 09:13 AM
2

God I really want to know where some of you guys live so I can drag you outside and show you the ugly, fat, poor men and women who are in relationships, just getting on with their lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 08:50 AM
4

That’s very valid - but affection comes from many places. Women get a lot of affection from family and friends. Men tend to be less affectionate but clearly really want it, so we need to start breaking down those barriers rather than making it only about women and sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 08:43 AM
1

Oh because you think they’re hot is fine, just when you say it try to dress it up more nicely and less lecherously 😎 pick something specific to compliment for example, and don’t make it her boobs!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 08:42 AM
2

Surely swinging and polyamory offers more opportunities for men, not less? They don’t seem to at popular as most people do prefer to be monogamous. You always hear people on here being unhappy that women have slept with other men in the past - let alone at the same time!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 08:26 AM
4

But why is it rising, do you think? What are men doing differently now to a few years ago? Are they not adapting to change? Are they spending more time isolated on the internet than out and about socialising with women? Women have changed too, but mostly they have always had standards and preferences, these were just ignored by the fact they were married off forcibly (a while ago) or put under pressure to be married young (more recently). Thankfully these things have changed and we are now more …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 07:37 AM
2

Nope. Had a few long term relationships. Currently on a year without sex but not concerned about it. If I find the right person, I find them. If I don’t, I don’t feel the need to try to hurt other people because of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 07:13 AM
4

How is this helpful? It’s just grandiose nonsense. Be a monster and control it? Yep, humans have innate desires and urges, we control them all day every day.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 06:29 AM
3

But why can’t they sort themselves out? Or buy a toy or sex doll? You can still easily deal with the physical urge to get off. Maybe it’s just that women are far more content getting themselves off and men are more likely to feel they need someone to do it with?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 06:26 AM
3

No not really, it’s in how it’s done. If I get the vibe you’re just looking for a quick bang, I’m not interested. If the opener is something a bit thoughtful like, I like your hair or whatever I’m wearing, I’m more likely to be receptive to it than someone being like “I thought you looked hot”.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 06:25 AM
2

This train of thought always confuses me. Guys would commit suicide because they can’t get sex? What about literally everything else in life that is amazing? Does it not matter?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 05:35 AM
1

Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 05:33 AM
-2

I mean, this isn’t true, but if it was, why does a woman need to justify it? If I want the hottest guy in the room, I don’t need to justify it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 05:24 AM
2

It should be considered gender violence. Why is it not being addressed in that country? The population should be fighting for it to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 05:21 AM
4

No of course, not in all situations. But I’ve definitely had instances where I’ve been smiled at and I have not returned it and turned my back etc. that is or should be a clear signal. Doesn’t matter though. If they approach anyway I’ll politely tell them no thank you, nothing lost and I won’t be rude if they accept it gracefully.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 05:20 AM
21

Depends how it’s done. Sometimes I’ve seen a guy I’ve liked the look of and we’ve smiled at each other and then he’s come over. That’s fun, because although it’s kind of a cold approach there’s groundwork there. I dislike it if someone approaches that I’ve clearly avoided looking at or getting close to. Generally though, in the street, gym, shop is fine if it’s done politely, they aren’t too invasive in your space and have a reason for asking you out. Just, oh you’re hot, doesn’t cut it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 09:29 PM
3

This. I would rather be single the rest of my life than in a relationship I’m not happy with. Sex is available if I want it, but I’m not getting into a subpar relationship just to avoid being single.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 09:12 PM
9

This. I have more offers and interest now in my early 30s than I ever did in my early 20s. But I’ve got pickier with experience and I’m perfectly happy alone, so no thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 09:09 PM
5

I’d also not take advice from men about dating either, especially on this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 08:39 AM
5

I would prefer a guy taller than me (I’m 5’7), but it’s not a dealbreaker at all. Of the four guys I’ve dated, two have been shorter than me. The obsession with height on here ignores that it is the entire package that is attractive. A tall guy with no personality, lame. A short guy who’s funny, great.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 08:38 AM
1

I think it just depends what you prioritise. I prioritise the gym and exercise over video games and movies, although I do plenty of those too. There’s always time to wash and style your hair, and add a five min skincare routine morning and night.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 08:33 AM
1

I don’t think men should pay 100% of the bills. I don’t even see why they would pay more than my share - why it wouldn’t be equal? This would apply to dates and to living together. The only time I could see one partner paying more is if they wanted to live somewhere or to a style out of the other persons budget, in which case they can pay the extra if they’re willing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 10:08 AM
1

Everyone there wherever clearly Doesn’t affect me but enjoy your “victory”. I’m sure your life will improve.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 02:29 AM
1

Disingenuous as fuck. No point. Good luck getting dick ever. It’s not about abortions for you guys, it never came close to affecting you; you just wanna be like HA bitches
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 02:15 AM
1

And that’s why the whole thing is endlessly detailed
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 02:13 AM
1

Nothing. I won’t sleep with guys ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 11:36 PM
0

Have fun dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 08:03 PM
1

I’ve always expected it
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 08:03 PM
1

Good luck improving your life
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 08:03 PM
0

No point. Just don’t bitch about child support. It’ll be more prevalent now unless casual sex drops off.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 07:54 PM
1

But banning abortion will put so many more men on the hook for child support … good luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 07:54 PM
1

Good whataboutism. I’d expect nothing less
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 07:53 PM
0

So you use it too then no child support woes either.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 07:26 PM
1

That isn’t the argument
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 07:26 PM
2

Yes a six month pregnancy will survive with help. Most abortions are extremely early stage, not viable stage.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 07:26 PM
2

Fake news 100%. No state is focused on near or post birth abortion.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 07:24 PM
1

Exactly, ban abortions after the point at which they can live outside the woman’s body. Nobody is regularly aborting at six months gestation.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 03:22 PM
1

If you take a step back, isn’t that a pretty sad worldview to have?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 12:16 PM
6

It can sustain to a point - it can exist independently, with its own blood supply, breathe and function. A fertilised egg cannot.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 11:03 AM
2

It can’t live entirely on its own.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 10:54 AM
1

And god forbid men do, and pay for the child they jointly created.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 10:51 AM
6

So are sperm, and tumours, and other things we wouldn’t classify as true ‘life’. Perhaps sentient life, that doesn’t rely on another for every single life function, is a better term.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 10:51 AM
2

You have a more sensible outlook than some other commenters. But I think most women in the US are seeing it as a restriction and banning their ‘right’ to abortion - they don’t see it as killing babies, because they’re not babies if they can’t survive alone. But the semantics of life could be argued every which way and neither side is necessarily factually right.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 10:28 AM
-1

Again not acknowledging. Case in point. Anyway, in that case why aren’t men FOR abortion? More will be on the hook now than ever for child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 08:48 AM
1

We’re not talking about her. We’re talking about men whining about child support like it’s inescapable.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 08:37 AM
0

The argument works both ways, but guys crying about child support rarely acknowledge that little fact.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 08:34 AM
1

Why does it make a difference to you? You’re clearly not getting any, so aren’t at the risk of being made an accidental baby daddy and on the hook for child support. So many of these comments reek of bitterness, like men got one over on women. It’s vile.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 08:34 AM
-2

Why didn’t you use protection then?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 08:21 AM
2

In what ways do they take advantage of you? Perhaps then you can identify what signals you’re giving off that people think they can do that to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 11:05 AM
2

I suppose it depends how many times you’ve tried and who with. Do you randomly approach, or do you have lots of friendships with women or where you can meet women through? It can take a while to find the click, but once you do it’ll be great.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 10:44 AM
57

Oh boy have you come to the wrong place! You’re better off getting advice from your friends - male and female. And watch what their successful relationships look like. PPD is full of people who have had no relationship experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 10:34 AM
4

Me too, no fantasy it’s a purely physical release. Takes less than 2-3 minutes most of the time!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 07:36 AM
1

Of course it is because it implies health. We are wired to want men to be strong. But it’s not the case for all women is the point. Some like weedy guys, some like beanpoles, some prefer a dad bod.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 07:21 AM
4

Dude powerlifters are often fat/round. Do you mean bodybuilders? And no, the super chiselled look is not attractive to everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 09:16 PM
3

But when dating them and deciding if you’re right for each other in an LTR, you wouldn’t consider ever having a date or hanging with them if there would not be sex? Relationships don’t often mean daily sex etc. Your other half should be your best friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 09:10 PM
5

Of course. But the poster I was replying to seemed not to understand why there would be any reason he would go see a potential partner if there wasn’t going to be sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 08:25 PM
1

I’m slim, long brunette hair to my waist and 5’7 so apparently automatically above average according to this sub. I’m probably average facially.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 08:21 PM
7

Dating and relationships aren’t just sex - there’s 24 hours in the day. Would you only spend time with a woman for sex? Not for conversations, watching tv, cooking together, going out etc?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 08:16 PM
2

Yeah I think we’re talking at cross purposes. For some women those things matter. For others they don’t. But they’re both represented on here.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 08:14 PM
1

Yeah fair enough. I think when a lot of girls talk about improving their life, it is those intangible qualities tho. If I wanted more money I could find a rich guy no problem, but would I find THAT rich guy that also gelled with me? Probably not.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 08:09 PM
5

That’s what I mean by improving my life though. Not money, not palpable things he’s bringing. It’s personality - we’re totally compatible as friends, but there was never that extra feeling that I wanted, the physical bond just never worked right, So I ended it. Although on paper we were matched. That’s why not every average joe can instantly find an average Jane. It’s more than just matching on qualities, it’s the extra click.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 07:45 PM
11

Definitely not average! I see average guys every day, they’re normal looking, sociable, happy guys. They just don’t ‘stand out’. And that’s no different from average women. By definition.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 07:39 PM
13

I’d list the following: Unemployed, ugly (and not trying to remedy it eg with haircare, skincare etc), badly dressed, no hobbies or interests, no charisma or conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 07:36 PM
1

Exactly the same reason why women say incels won’t find anyone - why would women go with someone spending entire days spewing harmful toxic nonsense about them?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 07:33 PM
1

But who knows that? People only know you’re a virgin if you tell them. It’s not like they’re walking down the street wearing a sign. They’re damaging their own self esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 07:31 PM
3

They are, I agree, usually alright looking, often have jobs and friends etc - but no woman will date a man who gives obvious or subconscious anti-women vibes.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 07:30 PM
15

A partner isn’t always an improvement - looksmatched or moral matched or whatever it is you want to match on. I was dating a guy who was my equal in everything except finances, I earnt more but we were both fine, but we just didn’t click and my life wasn’t improved by our relationship. So I’ll happily stay single. Sex isn’t the end all, although it seems to be more so for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 07:29 PM
3

And if they get it, they’re clearly shooting at the right level. If they don’t get it, they’re alone and why does that bother you?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 07:23 PM
1

How would this work? If the woman still had to finance the baby, she’d get an abortion. The advantage to the machine carrying the baby is that if the father didn’t want an abortion, he could then have a choice and take on the child?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/22 06:22 PM
1

Male or female friends is fine. Then the gender is being used as the adjective. It’s less acceptable to use those terms as nouns - and not match them, as in men and females, or males and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/22 07:49 AM
5

Well don’t bother. It’s only your shooting yourself in the foot.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 06:44 AM
1

?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 06:37 AM
1

Overweight, both genders. Thinning hair and glasses for men, maybe. Whether someone with the above ends up below average though is so dependent on the below: Poor social skills/rude or mean hearted. Unemployed/crappy work ethic
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/22 08:03 AM
1

Ha don’t worry! I worded it badly.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/22 09:25 AM
1

Oh no I didn’t mean for that to be misinterpreted - I was listing features that may mean men in my European country would be more likely to offer to help me, rather than what makes me attractive. I said myself I’m definitely not a 10/10 kinda gal.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/22 08:27 AM
1

It’s not a secret that being white affords you privilege. I haven’t looked for studies on this but I bet men are more likely to offer favours to white women than other races. My point is that despite this, men aren’t falling at our feet to do things for us.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/22 07:17 AM
11

Often there isn’t much difference between a 25 and a 30yo anyway. Especially not to need to lie about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/22 08:32 PM
17

I’d never say never. Most bi men I’ve met have been a little more effeminate/camp though so I haven’t been attracted to them anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/22 06:58 PM
2

Oh I totally agree. But if partygate is the thing that puts people off voting Tory then that's fine with me - even if I think there are other reasons more worth being put off about. Tax cuts for the rich, giving business contracts to their buddies, underfunding the NHS, no control or capping of energy, rental or transport costs ... the list goes on.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/22 10:12 AM
2

I don’t think it’s so much the parties as what the parties represented. They made the rules, they broke them and proceeded to lie about it multiple times. That says a lot about the kind of people in power and the level of respect they have for the people they are supposed to represent.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/22 09:54 AM
1

I would like partygate to have an impact but suspect it won’t. People have short memories and have swallowed the ‘Labour would be worse’ soundbites without question.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/22 09:52 AM
13

Flushing sprays particles all over the bathroom. Closing the lid is necessary.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/22 06:56 AM
3

Not in a cold situation no. But I wouldn’t be averse to initiating in a situation where signals were clear - like I described where I’ve seen a guy around a lot and he seems interested (so kind of a warm approach?) I have asked a guy out before, but we were friends first. Led to a pretty great LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/22 01:38 PM
7

I’d rather not be cold approached at all. If it had to happen, I’d like there to be some groundwork in place beforehand e.g. we’d seen each other at the gym, smiled, were familiar with seeing each other around. Never in a coffee shop or somewhere sober. Drunk in a bar maybe. But still I’d probably not be open to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/22 10:33 AM
2

If she has real friends, appearing slutty isn’t an issue. Most friends are cheering on the sidelines for her mate getting some. Partly because the lowdown afterwards when she shared all the gossip is hilarious.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/22 09:48 AM
2

But it is a testament of how MUCH she liked OP. I’m not saying she never liked him. But it wasn’t a done deal if her mates could pull her away.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/22 09:46 AM
1

Neither gender is a monolith, so yes. Someone somewhere will fit the description even if it’s not common.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/22 09:45 AM
3

Yes. I’m not a 10 by any stretch but I’m slim, white, lift weights, hair to my butt, etc. Women don’t live in this fantasy land where men are just popping up left right and centre to do good deeds for us …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/22 09:44 AM
10

Is there ever a need to yell at someone? It’s incredibly disrespectful and shows a lack of control of your emotions.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 06:20 AM
1

Not really. They’re beautiful in their own way, but they don’t reflect on my attractive qualities. Also, I like my money, I’m not wasting it on boobs or Botox.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 06:18 AM
2

Have a great career. I work out and lift weights. Have a lot of friends to socialise with. I go to the cinema, shopping, drinking, sightseeing, walking. I’m single but have no trouble filling up my days. At this point a relationship would hold me back.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 06:06 AM
6

Woman here. For some women yes, for others definitely not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/22 05:25 PM
4

Yeah that’s understandable. If the girl likes the guy that much she can insist her mates leave her alone to get on with it. I’ve done that myself and had a mate say it to me too. It happens if the girl likes the guy enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/22 05:09 PM
8

Been to lots. And girls are naturally more protective of their friends in that kind of setting, it’s more high risk for a girl to hook up with someone there than with a friend of a friend at a house party for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/22 05:03 PM
11

Then the girl can’t have liked you that much, if she lets her friend dissuade her. I’ve been on the other side and had this scenario a few times.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/22 04:10 PM
22

If the friend banged on the door and the girl didn’t say “hey x, I’m fine, you can go”, and instead chooses to leave the room, that implies she didn’t really want to be doing what she was doing. Not saying the kissing was coercive or anything like that, but it might’ve just brought her to her senses.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/22 03:25 PM
19

Agreed, I think most people are inherently good and want to help others.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/22 02:35 PM
5

So you disagree with the OP too, just for a different reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/22 02:18 PM
11

Not sure which bit you’re saying no to or why. There’s a reason a lot of these comments are saying the same things.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/22 02:17 PM
6

Asexuality, past trauma, physical reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/22 02:06 PM
42

If a friend disappears with a guy for a while, most decent friends are going to check up on her or try to find her. If the girl you were kissing didn’t tell her friend it was fine and to leave when she came banging on the door, that says something …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/22 02:05 PM
43

I don’t know what kind of world some of you live in but women don’t go around getting waited on by men every hour of the day. A man offered to lift my suitcase down from a shelf last week and before that I can’t remember a time a man who wasn’t my father, grandfather or partner did me some type of ‘service’. Ergo most women don’t miss what isn’t that popular an event …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/22 02:02 PM
3

No idea. Probably only a small amount. Porn is not generally made for women. It’s not surprising few women use that compared to men either.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 07:07 PM
4

Fan fiction seems to be the younger woman’s erotica. There’s some crazy stuff online.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 06:50 PM
2

Not obvious ones - I don’t have a type and stuff. Some people you just click with on a romantic level and others are purely friends and I suppose I don’t think of them as ‘men’ in that dateable sense, just as male friends I have.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 01:57 PM
12

None. There's either a guy I want to date, or my guy friends, who I don't. I don't look at my male friends as potentials.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 12:21 PM
2

It’s not a zero sum problem though? Those problems can also exist. This post is about male-female age gap relationships …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 06:54 AM
3

I don’t really engage with other parts of Reddit much. This sub just blows my mind, it’s so entertaining.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 07:03 PM
1

The advice you see is always the same - and it works. Work on yourself - hobbies, fitness, make yourself interesting, decide on your life goals. Why the topic has to be rehashed with a ‘women lie’ focus is pretty stupid. Both genders give the same advice. Be the best human being you can.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 03:38 PM
4

Because meeting someone is literally all it takes. There is no set of steps that works for every guy and every girl. You meet someone, you talk, maybe you click and decide to see where it goes.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 01:24 PM
2

I knew someone the same. So physically unattractive but so charismatic, he had people all over him, friends and girlfriends!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 01:22 PM
2

Agree, I hate gifts from someone I’m not actually in an LTR with. I dated a guy who in the second date rocked up with a not-cheap gift. It felt incredibly awkward as he barely knew me. It didn’t last much beyond that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 01:20 PM
1

Is it purge week? 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 01:17 PM
2

It’s not as bad as that. The internet is hyperbolic and likes to catastrophise, especially in this sub. Not sure that laying the blame entirely at the feet of women as a monolith is helpful - everyone wants the best they can get, men and women. If someone can get it, great. In real life, dating is fine. Normal guys and gals are hooking up, dating and marrying every day. All my friends and family are a case in point, and I’ve dated a few really great guys who were not some mythical 6’4 billionair…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 01:14 PM
3

I’d rather be alone than be with someone who I don’t click with - personalities, humour, interests, goals. You have to spend 24 hours a day with them forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 08:04 AM
3

Which causes more problems. I, and many women, will filter out men who aren’t being selective and are just settling. That makes our selectiveness even higher!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 07:52 AM
3

I more than imagine it
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 07:23 AM
1

Too few of you walk outside at all. That’s the problem and why this sub exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 05:11 AM
1

Yup, bad idea. There are so many cultural factors around those marriages that they aren’t a true representation of whether you can just marry anyone. We don’t force women into marriage! Let’s celebrate that.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 04:16 AM
2

OPs post addresses that, so I didn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 04:14 AM
2

I know that guys I’ve dated have never once asked my history, nor I theirs. And I considered them HVM as I dated them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/22 09:19 PM
2

This has been covered to death on this sub. A mix of many factors (depending on the women): - personality - charisma - sense of humour - matching interests - similar life goals - etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/22 09:11 PM
3

Not what I’ve seen. People usually pair up with people with similar histories, mostly just because they’re sexually compatible in their attitudes towards sex. Most HVM are not and have never been concerned with n-count. Not on their radar.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/22 09:05 PM
68

Women are selective, because they can be. I wish men were more selective - based on comments on this sub there’s a real risk of dating a guy who’s only with you to be with a woman, not because of you personally. That alone puts me off trying. The fact that men aren’t selective makes women more selective. I don’t know many women who think most men are awful. Undateable is a bit different and yes not many men are dateable, not everyone clicks with everyone in a romantic sense. You can’t just pick …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/22 09:00 PM
4

I care more about connection than physical looks. My past relationships have been tall, shorter than me, blond and brown haired, chubby and skinny. I don’t know if I could rank them in attractiveness or whether some were ugly or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/22 08:56 PM
2

Men can screen based on n-count if they want. Women will always have an abundance of choice of partners though, so it won’t affect them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/22 08:55 PM
9

There’s lots of studies into the ‘unguarded x’ hypothesis that look at how the second identical chromosome, in human cases ‘X’, masks any deficiencies in the first. Like all things scientific it is a theory among many, but it is often used to explain men being more like to be colourblind, have hemophilia and so on.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/22 08:21 PM
30

Actually there is something biological - men have XY chromosomes. The Y chromosome is more vulnerable to abnormalities, and if there’s a problem with the X chromosome, that’s an issue for men, whereas women have another X chromosome to ‘blend it out’. But yeah mostly you’re right. It’s risk taking, worse health or less likely to seek health help, and so on.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/22 07:27 PM
1

Yup, and don’t age well.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/22 08:27 PM
1

If it was that easy, why are there so many bald, fat men?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/22 07:25 PM
3

Fine if that’s your view!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 11:02 AM
7

Nothing wrong with staying single if these are your views. It’s way more accepted these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 10:45 AM
12

I think that’s the point. Talking can be great therapy, even just to get things off your chest. Of course if you don’t want to talk then you don’t have to - but some guys want to but feel they can’t or shouldn’t. That’s when it becomes damaging.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 08:56 AM
12

With a partner: being open about your feelings for them, telling them you like them and why, being affectionate, being comfortable to be upset in front of them if something was bothering you. With friends: being open about your feelings and using them as support - eg if you’d had a terrible day, would you say to a mate, could you come over and chat about it, or would you just bottle it up? So many men seem to think their mates would laugh at them or perceive them as less than for being open abou…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 08:26 AM
7

Are you new to PPD? There’s so many guys who legitimately think this - and also think a 35yo man looks better than a 25yo man to boot. It’s crazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/22 09:41 PM
11

Women can hide the signs of ageing with makeup initially. A man can’t hide his receding hairline or developing pot belly.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/22 06:16 PM
3

Oh for sure I feel bad for those guys, but not for one second if they choose to make someone else’s life miserable to improve their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/22 04:28 PM
5

Someone can't rely on a single other person to cure their loneliness. That lies with them themselves. Being with someone I'm forcing to stay with me by being manipulative and plain nasty, and knowing I'm making them miserable, that sounds like a hella lonely life to me. You still don't have 'love', or even 'like'.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/22 03:32 PM
6

It's pretty scary and has made me even more suspicious of the dating scene ... Thank you for being one of the voices of reason!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/22 03:30 PM
4

That's so sad. I would rather be alone than with someone who wasn't my person, and especially rather than forcing someone to be with me even though I know I'm deliberately manipulating them and making them miserable. That's no kind of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/22 03:29 PM
3

But people on this sub also wonder why women tend to be suspicious of men? I'd rather not date at all than risk dating a guy who pretends to like me for me, but would actually take being with any women just to be in a relationship. Wild.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/22 03:28 PM
10

Even if this guy clearly didn't really love her? He just had control of and power over her and probably enjoyed that. Would a normal guy really want that kind of relationship over none at all?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/22 02:28 PM
2

I think stealth wealth can bring a certain swagger to people who perhaps wouldn't otherwise stand out lookswise. Confidence is very attractive regardless of looks, and having money behind you can give you that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/22 02:23 PM
5

What if she’d done one with two guys? You’d be happy having a threesome with another dude?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 08:08 PM
4

Woman here. I would expect in an LTR/lifelong relationship that your partner would end up being your best, just through familiarity and knowing exactly what gets each other off. If your partner is unselfish in the bedroom and you are willing to be clear about your likes and dislikes, there is no bad sexual partner. In terms of dick size, it’s not something that crosses my mind. I’ve had two LTRs and one shorter relationship and I genuinely couldn’t tell you who was biggest or had the most girth.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 05:22 PM
5

I don’t understand your take. Parents can be great and still not really have the opportunity (or desire) to have someone else look after their kids?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 01:10 PM
6

That’s not always easy - they might not have family nearby, friends might not be willing, they might not be able to afford a babysitter. Sure some will, but I know some young parents who really struggle to get anyone to watch their kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 12:54 PM
9

You think most couples can afford nannies?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 12:42 PM
23

This is it. Nothing more soul destroying from either side than being like, ok it’s time, get it over with for another week…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/22 06:47 AM
2

I do understand that. It’s difficult when you’re both part of a mutual friendship group who sees each other every week and have been friends for seven years!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/22 05:50 PM
3

I’ve told him no several times and also that I’ll be moving cities in a few months. We’re great friends so I don’t really want to lose that, if he’s happy to continue being just friends, which he says he is. If he can’t handle it, it’s up to him to break the friendship. I’ve done nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/22 05:21 PM
2

There is a guy who likes me. I’ve said I don’t want a relationship. He’s said he’ll ‘wait for me’. Does that mean I’m leading him on? I don’t feel like I am but it is one sided and he’s clearly not giving up.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/22 04:53 PM
10

This has to be a blatant troll post why is everyone taking it seriously 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/22 04:52 PM
2

The chart doesn’t show over time data. I looked at a few other charts, none of which show over time data by income brackets. All I’m pointing out to OP is that women suddenly being omg I want monogamy but I’m hypergamous is in no way the sole, or major, cause of any changes.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/22 06:41 AM
2

Doesn’t mean that the trend isn’t true for the middle classes. The poor have always had more children, it isn’t their behaviour that is changing the overall pattern.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 09:43 PM
1

That’s fair. I’d just say it can be very very obvious when touch is forced or someone is doing it because they think they should, compared to a natural touch that the person hasn’t thought about at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 06:32 PM
4

I don’t think those things are because of women suddenly hitting this “choice” though. People are getting married later and having kids later or not at all for financial reasons, people study for longer and start their careers later, women have careers now too, there is no rush into it any more.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 06:31 PM
5

I don’t think those things are because of women suddenly hitting this choice though. People are getting married later and having kids later or not at all for financial reasons, people study for longer and start their careers later, there’s no rush to get into anything like there was.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 06:30 PM
7

Thing is, I don’t think it IS becoming an issue. People are hooking up and getting into relationships all the time. It’s not like suddenly half the female population are alone and bitter. They’re the minority.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 06:07 PM
11

You’d be better off paying an escort, they’ll have much more experience properly simulating a situation like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 06:01 PM
2

Maybe you’re overthinking the touch thing. A hand on the neck is quite intimate as an initial touch. On a first date with a stranger you wouldn’t necessarily have loads of touch - maybe just a hand on the shoulder or waist as they move past you and so on. If you’re trying to initiate too much touch, and touch that feels inappropriate for the situation, that may be part of the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 05:58 PM
1

Nah it was just a bad faith post so I made a bad faith comment. I’m just here to spectate most of the time. Peoples’ worldviews on here are wild.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 08:11 AM
4

I work in statistics and have a Masters so have plenty of experience interpreting data and it’s collection. However as you’ve correctly pointed out, this is PPD. I’m not spending hours trawling through it for what are usually bad faith debates.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 08:01 AM
3

This isn’t wrong - I think it does happen both ways. I look at some of my friends boyfriends and see qualities I like. I look at others and think good god no!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 08:00 AM
4

I’d agree if there was any form of ‘data’ in the OP. There are abundant scientific articles stating that men are more prone to violence. Not that women aren’t - but women tend to be less likely to be able to impart actual damage. Therefore it’s even more important that men self-reg but it’s not common.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 07:54 AM
2

I get that - I just wasn’t following how you would expect that epigenetic variance to manifest. What would it result in?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 07:28 AM
2

I never said women don’t do them. The OP assumption was heavily hinting that it is a woman’s problem, I’m arguing it’s both - and likely skewed towards men.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 07:27 AM
1

In what way?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 07:01 AM
2

“They can’t self regulate yet” LOL. Because men have that nailed, right? Most likely to commit crimes, be violent or aggressive etc … sounds like perfect self-reg to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 06:59 AM
6

Exactly. I’m inclined to think girls simply tend to assume if they have great sex the guy must be big, and actual measurement has little to do with it. It isn’t easy to judge length. Especially when the body the penis is attached to can impact how it’s perceived - if you’re tall, fat, public hair etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/22 04:37 PM
21

This. The amount of friends I’ve had who’ve talked about 7-8 inchers. Either they somehow keep finding absolute statistical outliers, or actually it’s just very difficult to tell! And to be honest, not that important.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/22 02:14 PM
1

This is so right, I’ve yet to figure out if aro-ace is a curse or a blessing …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/22 06:26 PM
3

Isn’t that just what you find out during normal conversation and banter though? It feels like RP needs to put names onto normal relationship back and forth and make it something overcomplicated.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/22 08:30 PM
6

I thought it was staged but rewatching Chris Rock as Smith walks away and sits back down, he looks genuinely lost and unsure of what to do next. Is he that good an actor?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/22 08:28 PM
1

Hmm good point, I hadn’t thought about women who settle that way either.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/22 07:47 AM
1

Why is that?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/22 07:40 AM
2

And a woman can provide for her husband. This is just semantics. Women don’t expect to be looked after any more. Sure, some do. If they aren’t your bag, don’t date them. Anyway moving on. This isn’t the initial debate I got into.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/22 07:39 AM
2

I pity the woman you end up settling for
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/22 07:37 AM
1

Stay at home wife/mother. Couples tend to more equally put into relationships now - although that can obviously be different depending where you live. I’m in Europe and there is a lot of equal matches.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/22 07:30 AM
2

That’s not being a provider though. SAHW/Ms are not the norm these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/22 07:23 AM
2

Tell that to all the women with careers, who have their own mortgages and so on. They exist. And often still find the time to take care of themselves, which was this original convo. If you don’t want to be a provider, find a woman who doesn’t need you to be one.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/22 07:11 AM
3

Some don’t, in a marriage. But those days are over. Women can and do provide for themselves. Most don’t expect a provider, just one who can hold his own.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/22 06:44 AM
3

That’s a very thin basis to bring about full societal change on.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/22 06:43 AM
3

Religions generally did or do not allow abortions or birth control, which disproportionately removes choice from women. I’m Catholic, I’m aware of what Christianity enforces.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/22 10:02 PM
4

Not Christianity per se. How Christianity, and other religions, are put into practice in society. Because men historically had the power, it allowed them to subjugate women under a guise of morality. Abortion, no birth control, lack of leadership in the church, as examples.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/22 09:56 PM
4

So you’d support a religious society if it gave men power and took it from women again?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/22 09:13 PM
4

True - but those high achieving men are almost always well groomed and look after themselves. Especially in the public eye. It’s usually the low achievers who also put in low effort elsewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/22 08:33 PM
8

Good for those who come out on top, not good for the groups who are oppressed by that religion.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/22 08:26 PM
8

Women manage to do it all. Get degrees, have careers and still spend time on grooming and looking after themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/22 08:22 PM
6

Religion is good for those who want it, but for societies it just causes strife. The sexual market, like most other ‘markets’ in life, is sink or swim. Not everyone gets lucky, not everyone wants to work.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/22 08:05 PM
2

But women don’t need to lock down dick - dick is easy. So that’s not a reason for marriage for women. Sharing support and resources are the main reasons for marriage for women, and for a lot of men too.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/22 09:38 AM
4

I think the definition is up for debate - for example, in Western countries there is societal stigma against older or fatter women wearing crop tops - it's in no way amoral to wear them, but people judge others for dressing in ways they think aren't right for someone of a certain age or body type.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/22 09:26 AM
11

No I’m not, but not because of this directly. It just made things awkward, for her seeing me and for me going to events if they would be there together. This was about 3-4 years ago, so a while. I got over it. My friends definitely found it unacceptable though, not sure I’d go as far as immoral. There is a societal stigma around it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/22 08:40 AM
12

My friend started dating my ex boyfriend. But she had been friends with him for years, I met him through her. She told me upfront before they made it public, so did everything right. But it was hard and it did mean the end of our friendship, through it then just slowly petering out. It’s not immoral though. If they wanted to be together and are good for each other, go for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/22 08:27 AM
6

Of course, different people will feel differently on that front. I don’t find that sex satisfies a need that physical closeness to other doesn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 05:38 PM
19

4 years and counting. It doesn’t bother me. The need for touch and closeness can be satisfied through family and friends, it doesn’t need to be sexual.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 08:26 AM
5

Meh, I had a very social upbringing and still haven’t seen half of what this sub discusses reflected IRL!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 08:23 AM
1

Meet a looks threshold; optimism (nothing worse than a glass-half-empty personality); kindness, a sense of humour and fun, respectful, ideally a good relationship with his family, similar interests and opinions (e.g. on politics, drinking, drugs).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/22 07:38 PM
4

Those people tend to be fairly rare I would think - thinking of peeing kinks etc here.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/22 06:41 PM
38

Isn’t it like saying bisexual people can’t have friends? Not everyone wants to fuck everyone of the opposite gender. It’s perfectly normal to have these friends and not feel anything more than friendship for them. Maybe it’s harder for men (seems like it judging by this sub) but irl I see it regularly.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/22 06:40 PM
18

You also said in your OP that vaginas are aesthetically disgusting. Which is it? You’re turned on by looking at them or they’re disgusting?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/22 05:15 PM
2

Exactly - Grog would probably be the father of the kids, but it was more cooperative so the other men would still be having sex, they'd all be raising the young together, there was less 'this is not my child so I won't raise them'. At least, this is how it's discussed in books about our ancient history, before more patriarchal structures came in - these generally came into place alongside more organised religion.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/22 10:39 AM
3

Based on your videos, are you not post-wall? Would you count yourself as bitchy and manipulative?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/22 09:05 AM
3

We have not always lived in harems. They’re only documented in recent human history (Asia, ancient Egypt, Assyria etc). Our hunter gatherer history was far more cooperative - we lived in mixed groups, the groups raised children, partible paternity where the child has more than one father raising them and so on. Not that this particularly contradicts your point about wanting multiple women as the men did indeed get to do this, but so did the women and the women weren’t reserved for one individual…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/22 08:12 AM
1

We all have control of our instincts. Don’t commit to a monogamous relationship if you don’t intend to honour that. Men may be naturally inclined to want to sleep with multiple women - you’re still being chucked out the relationship/marriage if you act on it …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/22 08:08 AM
3

You could ask beforehand how she feels about splitting the bill, weed out those who won’t, then surprise her by paying on the day.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 09:56 AM
3

As you’re the asker, she probably assumed you’ll be the organiser, although she could’ve worded it better! If someone asked me on a date but didn’t arrange an actual date or time, I wouldn’t message them to do so, I’d wait. If they didn’t, I’d assume they’d found a better offer in the meantime and fair play to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 09:50 AM
1

Yep, an easy and non-confrontational way of doing it. When I’ve been on dates and the guy has offered to pay for dinner, I have always followed with ‘well I’ll buy the drinks then’ and then all’s fair
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 09:47 AM
1

You might’ve responded to the wrong poster because that’s literally what I said. When asking someone on a date, or just sometime before, so you don’t both get there and realise there’s a fundamental mismatch.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 08:02 AM
1

They do if they’re well-adjusted and have good friends or family to confide in and get support from
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 10:09 PM
8

Have you come by this opinion from your time in this sub, or out in the world? I see a ton of resentment in here, generally very little out in person with family, friends, acquaintances, colleagues.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 09:16 PM
7

Yeah it might not always come across well. I’d assume most women would be happy to pick up their own tab, but the convo on here suggests otherwise. Tricky arena for guys to navigate. Or like you say, you just get a drink or a coffee then the bill wont be much anyway so it’s not a big deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 01:34 PM
3

There are so many leaps in your responses I don’t know where to start. Again, paying for dinner on a first date does not make a man, nor relate to whether or not the man is a protector or provider in a relationship or marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 10:43 AM
8

In my opinion paying for dinner doesn’t make someone a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 10:05 AM
4

I suppose so. Both parties should go on the date knowing the pay situation. If I was a man, as the one who’d potentially be responsible for paying a larger portion of the bill, I’d be the one checking.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 09:43 AM
8

Because I’d feel awkward expecting someone else to pay for me. I can afford my own food, I’ll pay for my own food. I’m not a traditional type of person and don’t expect a man to look after me or be a SAHM, if I was maybe I’d feel differently.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 09:33 AM
13

I’m a woman. I would always expect to pay for my meal.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 08:26 AM
95

Surely it’s just best and easiest to state this upfront, rather than create an issue about it? “We’ll split the bill yeah?” when asking someone on a date. If they say yes, it’s all dandy, if they say no presumably you wouldn’t want to date them anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 08:19 AM
1

I would 100% split the bill in all first date situations. In future, when we knew it was working, if I asked the guy out again, I’d expect to pay. And vice versa. I’m an equal earner after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 08:17 AM
1

Thing is though, the price hasn’t come down from women being freer - unless I’ve misunderstood your point. More women than ever are making money from their sexuality - Onlyfans etc - sure not all are becoming rich but girls are ever more marketable and able to make money.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 07:48 AM
–

Potentially delightful if women can then use that same technology to be guaranteed an orgasm every time, have sex without the risk of pregnancy or assault etc. It’ll be sad for the human race, too many already struggle to relate in person. But hey, I won’t be around once we get to that stage.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 07:44 AM
3

Just part of the package.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/22 07:12 AM
1

That’s fine. But I’m just saying that ordinary Ukrainian citizens and families don’t ‘deserve’ this. No citizens deserve war.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/22 09:39 PM
65

Yes. He was in the right place at the right time. And he was attractive in other ways, he was hilarious and charismatic and acted like a gentleman.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/22 09:33 PM
1

But do ordinary Ukrainian citizens deserve this? They don’t make decisions for the country, they don’t all think the same as those in power.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/22 09:32 PM
0

As someone who works in statistics, THANK YOU! I get blue in the face explaining this stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/22 10:53 AM
0

You could sum up this entire sub with that sentence.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/22 10:09 AM
8

Your flair really is spot on I love it
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/22 10:05 AM
2

That’s true. I’ve found the guy group of mates can actually be as deep and as supportive as the girls. It’s not as easy to get to, but once it happens it’s very ‘ride or die’
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/22 07:22 AM
2

That’s a very good point, I hadn’t thought of it that way. I think it’s well understood on here that women are the pickier sex on average. Whether that’s because we have more choice or because it’s innate.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 05:48 PM
1

I think for most people it is though. You can meet a long line of potential guys or girls, they’re all similar in looks, and you won’t ‘click’ with all of them. Have you ever had an LTR or relationship with someone and felt that? Or to turn it round to what you asked me, would you consider any girl your looksmatch as a potential partner? Or would there be more to it for you? Their conversation, their humour, their wants for the future etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 05:37 PM
2

Yeah I can see how you misunderstood what I said to the other poster about that I wouldn’t like 90% of guys, who offer what I want. I didn’t articulate myself very well. Me saying I wouldn’t didn’t mean because they were average, but because there is that undefinable something extra. Could I happily chat to 90% of guys my age? Sure. But I wouldn’t necessarily get that feeling of, I really wanna see you all the time. That’s the problem really. Relationships and love are pretty hard to define and …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 05:10 PM
2

I never said average men don’t improve their partners lives? I’ve never mentioned looks. I’m an average girl, I attract and am attracted to average guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 04:57 PM
2

I’m making similar points to other people on this thread. Relationships really aren’t rocket science but certain people on this sub seem utterly incapable of understanding something so natural. A partner improves your life by being someone you would rather spend time with than being alone, not just time for sex. Not everyone you meet does do that, not every potential partner does do that. Sometimes there’s the spark, that meeting of interests and humour and lifestyle choices and future plans, an…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 04:44 PM
1

Nope, not bothered about looks over other factors. But you carry on telling girls what they want. You know best.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 04:32 PM
2

They’re not mutually exclusive? The ‘improving my life’ isn’t a list of demands, it’s something that naturally happens in a fulfilling relationship that both partners want.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 04:02 PM
18

I have more girl friends than guy friends, and a slight preference towards girl friends. Each gender fulfills different roles I find. With girls, you're more likely to discuss problems or issues, gossip(!), have that physical closeness, have that shared understanding of experience and so on. There can be more drama, but it depends on the girl group really. Mine are pretty low drama. With guys, you get to have more of the 'laddy' type of fun which isn't always so common with girls. Like playing p…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 03:18 PM
0

No I'm not. There has to be that spark and it doesn't happen with everyone. I'm not a believer in 'the one', but I also don't think everyone is compatible for everyone else. Otherwise no one would struggle to find relationships at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 02:57 PM
2

Compatibility is a huge factor though? You need to have things in common and there needs to be that spark with someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 02:47 PM
5

Everything people normally provide in relationships …? companionship, someone to go on adventures with, a pub buddy, a shoulder to cry on, someone to cook for him, give him a family, I also bring my financial assets to the table. In return I expect similar things. What are you expecting?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 02:39 PM
2

I would expect to make his life better too, or I would expect him to not date me if I didn’t. This is the reason why some people on here tend to be more unsuccessful with relationships. If you don’t understand that relationships improve your life and think that neither half brings anything to the table, why are they even a goal?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 02:32 PM
2

A relationship should improve your life, guy or girl. It certainly shouldn’t make it worse? If you love someone, that person can hugely improve your life. However if we’re talking about bringing things to the table, what are you expecting a guy to offer me that I don’t have for myself apart from a dick? I have a good job, bought my own house, have a load of family and friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 02:22 PM
4

How can you just tell someone they’re wrong? I’m in the same situation as OP and can assure you I’m not scouring OLD desperate for a 10/10 to notice me. I’m single until I find someone who makes my life better. If I don’t find them, I’m doing good on my own.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 02:17 PM
20

This is what I’ve always found hard to understand. Some guys would be in a subpar relationship just for sex. What about the other 23 hours of the day? You have to live with, talk to, eat with this person. There’s so much more than sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 02:15 PM
3

I know you said you wouldn’t answer but I’m genuinely interested (and in no way critiquing) - when you go away and have some fun, is that only with men? If not, what is the difference between you sleeping with another woman and her sleeping with another man?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 10:28 AM
2

Sure. This was yesterdays convo, I don’t have anything to add
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 08:14 PM
2

Ha that’s fair enough - different friendship groups work in different ways and maybe men are less likely to be introduced than women are and I’d just been naive to that!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 07:24 PM
8

They can watch it if they want, as long as I don’t have to watch it too. And provided it doesn’t have an impact on daily life e.g. staying up all night watching it, refusing social events in order to watch it and so on.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 05:48 PM
1

I’m friends with the friendship group and will continue to be that - they’re my friends that I introduced him to years ago. If he wants to stop being my friend he’s welcome to walk away. Otherwise we’ll continue to bump into each other at social events. I honestly don’t think it’s that big a deal. If his intentions aren’t pure but he doesn’t act on them, it doesn’t affect me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 05:42 PM
1

I’m in my 30s, and still meeting guys through these avenues. And it’s not friends setting up dates with their friends, I agree that’s weird - it’s going out with a mate and their mates come out too and you meet new people who can lead you to someone interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 05:41 PM
2

This sub :)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 03:49 PM
3

Sure they can help. But they’re not the only things that get your foot in the door either.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 01:44 PM
39

Non trad people can demand trad people if they want. They’ve just got to be prepared that they might not get one.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 12:37 PM
9

Because looks and wealth aren’t everything. Women on PPD have been saying this forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 12:36 PM
2

He is not. But how about the rest of my comment?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 12:35 PM
1

Because looks and wealth aren’t everything. PPD women have literally been saying this forever. Look at couples in the street. Average Joes and Janes together, and plenty of Ugly Uriahs and Ursulas too.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 11:49 AM
2

Your circles are clearly very different to mine. I’ve met boyfriends through friends of friends, at work (although a different team, I agree within team dating might be a recipe for disaster!), and in a gym class where we had to partner up. But if those settings aren’t going to work for you then fair enough. But OLD probably won’t either.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 11:41 AM
3

Not the case in my family or friendship group. Work, gym, hobby classes, through going out friends and meeting their friends. You don’t even have to prowl in bars.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 11:28 AM
2

Yet it’s possible to see it working for these guys in practice every day. It seems like guys on here just want to be told they’re ugly and that they should just give up. Any comments to the contrary get ridiculed, despite the truth in them that is visible on the street every day.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 11:25 AM
3

Don’t be daft. Uggos dating uggos are aware their partner isn’t an objective 10. But they find them attractive nonetheless. It’s possible to be very attractive but not necessarily physically. Probably not the best example but look at celebrities - Benedict Cumberbatch - objectively not facially attractive nor particularly tall/muscular, but women all over him. Hence other things make him physically attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 11:22 AM
0

Then that’s his choice. We’ve been friends for seven years while he’s had other relationships. It’s not always been about being more than friends so hopefully we can go back to that again.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 10:22 AM
11

He’s doing it to everyone. Ignoring the fact that if both guys and girls are giving him the same advice, it probably is worth listening to …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 09:58 AM
0

Because he’s a great guy and we have a lot of fun together and as part of our larger friendship group.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 09:53 AM
3

Good luck dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 09:52 AM
4

You clearly posted your OP with an agenda. All the other posts are giving you the same advice and you’re refusing to take on board any of it. But hey, you carry on doing you because it’s obviously working.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 09:43 AM
6

Alrighty. If you refuse to be told.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 09:40 AM
5

It can become that. My ex was probably a 5/10, but I found him crazy physically attractive because of everything else that made him him. Women tend to not be as visually driven as men, it’s worth remembering that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 09:29 AM
3

Not what I said. OLD just isn’t the ideal arena if you think you’re ugly. Peoples perceptions of another’s looks can change based on other factors about them. Almost everyone is someone’s type! Take heart.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 09:20 AM
8

But it’s more likely to happen in person than on OLD where it is looks-oriented. This isn’t new news for anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 09:16 AM
9

Nobody on here claims ugliness doesn’t matter. But things besides looks are important. Ugly with a sense of humour and great charisma will do better than ugly with no conversation ability. You could join a dating site that asks you to put info about yourself? That way, if it is your looks that are the problem, you’ll stand more of a chance if girls can also learn a bit about you. But really, if looks are the problem and the rest of what makes you, you is great, then you’re best off shooting your…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 09:01 AM
3

Is this an example of male monkey branching?!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 08:08 AM
4

Sometimes even ‘no’ isn’t taken on board. I have a friend and we tried dating. It didn’t work out so I told him I wanted to be friends. Every so often he still tries again saying it was meant to be, there’s still an opportunity and so on. I said ‘no’, dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 08:04 AM
2

Work, or through friendship groups/mutual friends. Tried OLD, wasn’t as good as the people I met organically. Mix of pursued and pursue really. I’ve asked out two guys I had LTRs with.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 11:57 PM
3

It also doesn’t change the fact that if men weren’t such a risk to them, they wouldn’t need protecting.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 06:07 PM
2

I (F) took my previous partner on dates. Often we'd just split costs half each, but sometimes he'd pay and sometimes I'd pay. When one of us picked up the whole bill, it was usually because it was a date we'd planned as a surprise - e.g. a day out at a trampoline park followed by dinner and drinks. We were pretty much salary-matched, so there wasn't a concern about one being poorer. ​ I'm not sure I'd do the same for a date with someone new. I'd just expect to split everything in half, until we …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 10:42 AM
5

You can't teach away natural attraction. Humans evolved to be attracted to certain physical traits. While looks aren't the be-all-and-end-all of attraction, particularly for women rather than men it seems based on discussions on here, you'd never completely eradicate that as a factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 10:40 AM
7

So would most stay at home parents. But it doesn't discount that staying at home all day with a baby that is dependent on you to live (and also very prone to constantly hurting itself) is not easy, and many working parents enjoy the break and adult company they get by going to work.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 10:38 AM
1

So the chat about how men want to be able to have ONSs - with hot girls who they wouldn't wife up because their n counts would be too high and they wouldn't pair bond - reflect only a few men?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 10:37 AM
3

I was merely saying, a day dealing with adults can often be a lot easier on the body and mind than dealing with a helpless baby, or a tantruming toddler.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 09:02 AM
2

Super scientific there. They're celebrities. In the street, you see ordinary women with ordinary men all day long. It isn't only the 10s who are taken.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 08:53 AM
2

This is pretty common knowledge no? Some men and women fuck about when younger and they want ONSs/fun but not forever LTRs, then what they want in a partner changes when they start looking to settle down. RP decided to name it, but it's a pretty basic concept and is performed by both men and women. But as RP is aimed at men, AF/BB tends to suggest it is a negative behaviour by women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 08:52 AM
5

Tech, coders, developers? Many kinds of STEM? Lawyers, marketers, bankers, traders? Typically your physical jobs are your lower income jobs.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 08:43 AM
3

Some do, some don’t On average though it seems men more universally struggle to cope without sex than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 07:28 AM
10

Those men are paid to protect, they chose to do those jobs. They also protect other men, and children.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 07:23 AM
7

You think being a full time carer to a baby/toddler/child is easier than sitting in an office?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 07:22 AM
1

Absolutely - in my experience men do become infatuated faster. I was never sure if it was settling, or if they genuinely felt that way, but it can be crazy quick.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 07:18 AM
1

I don’t think that way. I’m just reflecting the AF/BB rhetoric that’s applied to women on here.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 07:09 AM
6

And your post saw both sides right?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 10:22 PM
4

The baby daddies could’ve stuck around and taught their kids to be men.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 10:04 PM
2

I suppose. I was coming from the POV of someone who isn’t interested in ONSs, so it’d be a situation I would not want. I’m not sure I’d be insulted though.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 09:33 PM
1

In both cases it’s been my decision to stop dating. LTRs aren’t hard to come by, but that doesn’t mean you want them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 07:58 PM
2

Exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 06:14 PM
3

I wasn’t necessarily expecting a yes from the OP, I was just imagining a situation where the answer would be an unequivocal no. Few guys would turn down a girl asking for sex even if he was out of her league.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 05:52 PM
6

True, but protection can fail. A girl going back with a guy for an ONS does risk assault if she changes her mind or has misjudged the guy. They’re low likelihood risks, but they’re still there.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 05:50 PM
20

While I don’t disagree that this is probably true to some extent, another reason you’re missing is risk. Sex is far riskier for women. So whether physically or mentally, there are more barriers to bumping uglies for them than for men, like pregnancy, rape, STIs/UTIs, slut shaming and so on.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 05:40 PM
9

Would you be insulted if a man asked you the same question? Not being disingenuous, genuinely want to know how you would feel.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 04:38 PM
9

Absolutely to all of that. There are some older men in my family, 50-60, single because of failed marriages. They claim not to find over-40s attractive but fail to recognise they themselves are old and have lost their looks. I’ve always been hyper aware of my looks and what kind of guy I can attract.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 02:37 PM
4

Yeah I can agree with that idea. My argument is that both peoples power recedes - only men who are very elite/rich really seem to have any power. The 40-50yo dudes I see in the pub are all comfortable with money but they’re not powerful and not attracting younger girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 02:34 PM
2

This is exactly the thing. I don’t discount some of TRP or what it is based on. But it becomes another beast entirely in some peoples hands, and particularly on this sub. If you lived your life on Reddit you’d think the genders hate each other, whereas actually outside people are happily coupling up as normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 02:30 PM
10

Yes absolutely - the age gap is icky regardless of which way round it is. It feels like immaturity or an unwillingness to accept that people age, on the part of the older partner. You might be going out with a 25yo, you’re still acquiring wrinkles. They’d still rather be in bed with another 25yo than with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 02:28 PM
13

Exactly this. I don’t find people much older or much younger attractive. Your tastes should mature as you mature. When you see a 40yo with a 25yo it’s always a bit creepy. Like why couldn’t that 40yo score a partner their own age? We’d always assume they were socially awkward and had to buy the younger partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 02:20 PM
8

This is fine, and understandable. But it applies to everyone. No one is as attractive at 35 as they are at 25.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 02:18 PM
1

We have deviated quite a bit from the OP to be fair
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 01:21 PM
8

But they’re such a vanishingly small proportion as to be irrelevant to this discussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 12:45 PM
2

But he didn’t get sex or an LTR. And of course, I’m just putting an example against the opinion that money and looks is all it takes to be a HVM that all women as a monolith drool over.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 12:00 PM
1

I think I’m a good person, but I don’t think I’m gods gift, looks or personality-wise. I know what I offer. But I also know what I don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 11:58 AM
2

I don’t do ONSs, but certainly no shortage of date and LTR opportunities, which could turn into marriage with work and effort. But yes I agree with you, I’ve met fewer men that I like than that like me. But for LTRs/marriage you have to be sure. Money and looks are fine but for me it’s conversation - you have to spend 24 hours of the day together. It has to be fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 11:57 AM
2

I don’t disagree but I think everyone has personal definitions of what dating down is. For some it’d be a man poorer than her, for some it’s an uglier man, for some it’s a man who doesn’t want kids and so on. I know I’m one example and not representative, but I went on a date a guy with a penthouse flat, a very good job, and good looking. But I turned him down for future dates and a relationship because the conversation just wasn’t there. What made him a HMV man on paper wasn’t the whole package…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 11:55 AM
2

The woman’s options going down is not reflected in real life. LTR options actually increase once both sexes have had their fun- young guys and girls are more likely to want fun relationships or no strings attached sex. As men and women get older, they start looking to settle down. From personal experience my options have not gone down, if anything they’ve increased, now we’re at an age to start thinking about our forever relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 11:52 AM
1

This is so true as to almost not be a debate. The women who want rich men and to be looked after will have sex with them in order to have money spent on them and the status of dating a rich man. They won’t have sex with them out of sheer desire. It depends if the man cares. If he’s getting sex from a beautiful woman I doubt he cares if she gets wet at the sight of him.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 11:20 AM
1

Exactly. Women tend to date men poorer than them less often but it’s by no means a sweeping thing. Like for like, mostly.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 11:18 AM
1

Yeah OLD sounds rotten for men. I’m 31 so not particularly old, tried OLD once in my 20s and once at 30. It was fine but my actual relationships have come from work or friends of friends. I get that that isn’t the way for everyone but I do think people should rely less on online. That’s where all the superficial stuff happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 10:56 AM
1

Stats I’ve seen suggest about a third of people find each other through OLD. The majority are still meeting via other routes, for now. And the majority of both sexes don’t use OLD, or Instagram to date. If it keeps changing then sure, but since men apparently have a rotten time on OLD surely it’s finite? https://www.statista.com/chart/amp/20822/way-of-meeting-partner-heterosexual-us-couples/ https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2020/02/06/the-virtues-and-downsides-of-online-dating/
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 10:55 AM
2

My family and friend group must be totally out of the ordinary then. It’s been entirely through friends of friends, at work, through other mutual social gatherings. I tried OLD. It was crap and superficial, for both guys and girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 10:48 AM
1

Fair enough. It just doesn’t feel like a good basis for a relationship to be considering whether you’re ‘better’ than your partner or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 10:40 AM
3

Sure, for women who use OLD and find relationships online. For a lot of people the old fashioned way of finding people through university, mutual friendship groups or at work still applies. OLD is a pretty shitty arena for men. They’re better off getting out there with friends and meeting people (and I don’t mean cold approaching in a bar by that!)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 10:36 AM
10

I’m not arguing that. Women find fewer men sexually attractive based on physical appearance than is the case for men. But womens attraction to men is more likely to grow on exposure to their other positive qualities. I know good looking people I consider ugly because they’re not nice people. I know ugly people I have forgotten are ugly because they’re charismatic and the life of the party. Both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 10:23 AM
1

I’m in the UK so perhaps we’re a bit different to what Reddit tends to see with it being heavily US-biased. But you’ll find real life often disproves the chatter on here.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 09:59 AM
2

But they’re pairing up and having sex, and plenty are married. Sure there are always some men on every level of society who have no luck with women. But plenty do, whether or not people on here might consider them to have lowered their standards or have been settled for. That’s not really a consideration for most people offline.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 09:57 AM
3

Where I live I see working class couples together all the time. I have a working class background myself. Visit a working class area of any city and see couples together and people pairing up in bars. They’re not all beautiful and rich. Like for like.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 09:53 AM
4

I’m not sure what your point is.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 09:49 AM
10

Sluts? Almost exclusively used to shame women for their sexual behaviour and limit it, in a way that never happens for men. Prude - another sexual insult but this time meant to make women be more sexual. There are probably more for men, I agree, but to say they don’t exist for women is not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 09:46 AM
5

I was talking about my social circle, I didn’t make any assumptions about others. Generally in the real world people date like for like. Ugly people with ugly people, average people with average people, and so on. Working class with working class, elite with elite.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 09:34 AM
13

That doesn’t reflect what I see in my life - my family and friendship groups. Nobody who is a decent person with a job and a life has a shortage of potential partners, whether they’re a man or a woman. Again, the people on this Reddit sub often do not exist in normal circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 09:16 AM
6

There’s usually a reason for that. Either looks, social and emotional ability, living situation, friend group, whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 08:31 AM
16

I think some of the people on this sub get so sucked into this ‘world’ though - real life is not like how people describe it in this sub, especially not this OP. There’s almost nothing to debate in it, because so many other things are important about people than two numbers.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 08:10 AM
5

Then what’s the point in the post? Nobody is just an age and a salary.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 07:55 AM
11

I suppose in both scenarios I was imagining someone social and confident, to have got to the stage of earning that much. My job is very people-focused and the high earners are all like this. Although you’re right, there are lots of jobs where you don’t need to be socially adept to earn that money.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 07:47 AM
11

Women are less bothered about age - getting someone younger isn’t the goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 07:43 AM
143

It’s just not really important. A 30 year old woman earning 100k will have no shortage of options. Neither will a man in the same circumstances. Most people off Reddit don’t worry themselves over who is ‘worth more’ and who is equal.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 07:32 AM
1

I didn’t make any assumptions about your gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/22 10:47 PM
2

It kinda sounds like OP is too far in to change their view to be honest. Embrace that single life and don’t let women live rent free in your head.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/22 10:45 PM
4

When you marry you make a vow for better and worse. I would have married him because I loved him - if something happens to him and sex is off the table, I’d be by his side regardless. Sex is not a need. You can sort yourself out.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/22 11:02 AM
2

Definitely. 10 partners at 18 is very different from 10 partners at 30.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 07:42 PM
0

Seems a bit silly to set rules over absolutely everything? For me personally, I wouldn’t meet someone I didn’t at least know the basics about and if we might gel personality-wise. I’m not about wasting my time, or his, if we’re clearly incompatible. I am speaking from a date POV and not a hookup POV though. Maybe I’d care less if it was just sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 07:44 AM
2

I think the point is that some women feel they have to go to gay clubs to avoid being hit on by straight men. It’s pretty much nonstop in a normal club.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 08:50 AM
7

That’s fine if that’s your opinion. Shy in some ways doesn’t mean shy in all ways, or a pushover in life. It worked out great for me being the initiator.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 11:07 AM
8

Sure, everyone likes being approached and validated. I’m just saying it doesn’t have to be that way 100% of the time, guys can find it very sexy when girls approach or initiate.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 09:03 AM
14

Of the three LTRs I’ve had, I’ve asked out two of them. I was pretty sure the attraction was mutual, but the guys clearly weren’t confident enough to take the plunge, so I did. More girls should ask guys out. It works!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 08:37 AM
4

What studies? 80-90% of men are not incels. The majority find partners, in the same league as them. This is an extreme stat.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 09:18 AM
1

Definitely. I don’t think I’ve ever had an initial spark on seeing/meeting someone. It’s always grown once I’ve got to know them as people, their personalities, their sense of humour, their interests.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/22 09:42 PM
2

Honestly the Stacy grouping is not that relevant - it’s easy to find guys, generally. I am not a Stacy but if I put myself out there there is no shortage of a queue.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/22 12:21 AM
0

How do you mean? I got more interest for sex while younger, more interest for LTRs now.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 07:43 AM
2

This 100%. I get far more interest now than I did before, I just care about it less.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 07:02 AM
6

I would say it’s more of an individual/personality thing than a everyone has that phase thing. I have friends who’ve never hoed about, but friends who were totally happy to and loved it. As for how common, I only have my own personal experience and I would say it was less than half of my friends had that stage.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/22 10:58 PM
1

No because men are just people and I believe people are inherently good. Most of them anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 06:40 PM
1

Not given up at all. There are just some red flags I look out for, and possibly judge a little harshly. But I try to be open and fair with everyone I meet, male and female, and assume the best in them until they prove me wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 06:38 PM
17

This whole post reads as a ‘I just want a way to make a jab at women so I’ll make up this friend and his exploits’
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 08:25 AM
1

Another response to a 3 week old thread 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/21 06:39 AM
1

Dude this post is weeks old... And that is a major stretch. Marital life. LOL
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/21 05:46 AM
5

I would say that makes them be considered losers by men, at least ppd men. I have endless pride in the single mothers I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 08:14 PM
1

I’ve still not seen this source.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 01:40 PM
1

We can agree to disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 06:11 AM
1

She is an outlier, and a horrific one.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 05:48 PM
0

Is that your argument? That term isn’t exclusive to feminism. I’ve heard it used by men and women, some of whom wouldn’t describe themselves as feminists.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 08:39 AM
2

That’s not my experience of feminism at all - FeMRA groups exist and do a lot of good in the world. They’re not in opposition. There are bad apples among feminists and MRAs, don’t make the mistake of assuming they’re the core.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 08:36 AM
0

Feminism isn't trying to shut men up talking about their issues. MRAs and feminists often work together. It's when men try to shut down feminism or dismiss it because of a group of radical feminists that they lose what support they do have.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 07:56 AM
4

I've never actually seen this modelled anywhere - have you? All the instances I've seen, men have been supported by feminists and feminists have been actively pushing for more awareness of male suicide etc. Sure, some haven't - it's created by the patriarchy after all, which was rich old white men's doing. But it adversely affects the men in society who have less power and control.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 07:33 AM
4

But that's exactly why men should get on board. The labelling comes from both men and women, but if there was a shift towards the majority of men doing it, that labelling would quickly disappear. That's what MRAs are fighting for, but they remain largely ignored by the people they're fighting for. The reason feminism has been so successful is because women saw it and got on board. And I'm not talking here about the KAM feminists who are ridiculous, but the proper core of the movement which is eq…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 07:31 AM
7

Feminism talks about it. MRAs talk about it. They just don’t get traction because men don’t get on board. Normalise sharing your feelings with your family and friends. Normalise talking to others. Create that support network you need, without shame.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 06:52 AM
2

If you believe this, then why do so many men complain that feminism doesn’t address men’s issues? I’d your OP is true, men should be addressing their own issues, but they don’t seem to be ...
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 06:50 AM
2

By all means he could ‘mentally assault’ them back then. They’re not comparable.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/21 04:32 PM
1

I have acknowledged that in other comments.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/21 08:25 AM
1

What a cynical and drab view of the world
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/21 12:24 AM
1

Another reason why I would warn anyone against ever taking nudes 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 08:22 AM
2

If you want to segue away from the point, fine. I don’t get the point or the relevance of your last paragraph.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 11:25 PM
2

And the opinion of western society, at least, given physical violence like this is against the law.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 08:47 PM
2

I hold people to the same standards I hold myself to.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 08:46 PM
2

He’d be wrong, by most decent people’s standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 08:35 PM
4

I don't shame women who go for older men - a couple of my friends are dating or married to guys 15-20 years older than them. Was pretty weird when they were 18 but less of an issue now we're older. And yes, I'm basing older men off the sleazy, slightly pot-bellied dudes you get hanging round in pubs and clubs and trying to grind up on younger women. They can get back in their lane. Genuinely desirable older guys I've never been in a situation to meet and probably won't ever be.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 05:28 PM
1

I'm an exception in the circles you run in. Not in mine, where the people I know could not care less either way. Edit: possibly it's more of a thing in the US? I'm in Europe where I rarely see or hear this spoken of, especially among younger generations.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 05:21 PM
3

I've agreed that violence is okay in some circumstances, like if you're in danger.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 05:21 PM
8

These women were not assaulting him. I'm absolutely not denying they'd done wrong - cheating and hiding it is disgusting - but he made it physical when he was in no physical danger himself.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 05:03 PM
1

I never mentioned the law? I know not all violence is against the law. We all have different opinions on what is wrong. To me, all violence that isn't defending yourself is wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 05:01 PM
4

For some women - and for a certain kind of women. Most women who are already LTR'd up or not looking for money (aka the more desirable ones), wouldn't go near a significantly older guy. I've always considered it sleazy and unattractive AF. I know they get women and good for them. But they're not for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 05:00 PM
6

This was violence. A legitimate use of force would be if you were at risk of or actually being physically attacked by another. This man was angry and took it out on those who caused it in a physical manner because he either couldn't control himself or was unable to think of a better way to handle it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 04:29 PM
1

My point is, people like me exist. Fine if you want to think of women as a monolith, but you're not helping yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 04:28 PM
3

But why must we sink to the lowest common denominator? Why not be the better person? Most women don't hit men. Most men don't hit women. You see the worst in clips like the OP shared.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 04:27 PM
19

That’s a bit of a stretch isn’t it? I agree with his point - it can be the norm of a place and we can still consider it unacceptable.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 01:54 PM
1

Couples are usually of similar ages. It depends if all you care about is physical attraction. For me there's a lot more in attraction than just that - I'd rather someone my own age than an early 20s guy I have less in common with.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 12:18 PM
8

There are literally double standards everywhere. I just wonder why that's the one they pick up first.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 10:43 AM
3

In my opinion it isn't acceptable for women to hit men. I've never hit a man (or anyone) since I was a child, and I and never plan to. True feminists actively fight for men's causes as well as women's. Don't fall into the trap of believing that the radical feminists who 'hate' men are what feminists are. I don't describe myself as a feminist for exactly that reason, although I'm strongly behind equality of opportunity. However, I do rarely see men's groups that gain traction and fight for men. F…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 10:36 AM
7

It's still a weird first response to feminism and wanting equality, and you see it so often in comments online. Makes you wonder who these people are.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 10:20 AM
11

Not really related, but why is this so many men's first response to feminism - that 'Okay so we can hit women?' Why do you want to hit women? Men shouldn't be hitting other men either, so it seems like a pretty low bar you're keen to jump over.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 10:04 AM
63

Violence is wrong full stop. Whether that's a man hitting a cheating girlfriend, or a woman hitting a cheating boyfriend. As adults, we should be able to control our emotions and channel them better than that. We're not toddlers.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 10:02 AM
2

I'm female, so trust me I know. I just think women's bodies are more attractive as a starting point than men's, which means women can often carry off a greater array of weights (skinny through to overweight) than men and still look better. Both genders have their struggles when it comes to weight, and men additionally with height.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 09:59 AM
8

Not all. Besides, those two things aren't linked. You can make more than someone but they can still be self-supporting.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 08:35 AM
6

In a world where the man is the only one working. It's possible to have a relationship where both partners contribute to making money and paying bills.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 07:47 AM
6

I don’t think so. Younger men are more attractive yes. BUT Older men can also often come across as creepy, or undesirable because you wonder why he can’t find a woman his own age who wants him. Plus if they’re flaunting their money it shows that’s all they have to offer and they’re essentially selling themselves. A small gap (up to 8 years or so when you’re in your late 20s/30s) is fine but personally I’d balk at much more.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 06:37 AM
1

Stats for that? I highly doubt 90% of all single women would sleep with a married man, regardless of how attractive he was. Cheating is not viewed as acceptable by the majority of people, despite what PPD would have you believe.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 06:12 AM
1

And? In that case do both yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/21 05:11 PM
2

That’s a choice they make. If you go out in the world you don’t have to.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/21 05:07 PM
2

If you only use OLD then that’s definitely the case. However I’ve met all my previous partners through friends of friends or at parties or work. I have no intention of using OLD for precisely the reason that it is so artificial.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/21 04:52 PM
0

Agreed. But in online dating you have little to go off, so putting some standards in place narrows down the search. I’ve found that those requirements don’t always reflect real life where you get to see someone’s character and charisma, which influences how attractive they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/21 04:49 PM
3

I'm one of those girls every guy on PPD hates - I'm more interested in personality and how well we get along! I would add though that the assumption is that the lockdown pudge is just that - from lockdown, and would be lost when gyms and real life resumes. I'm not out for an uggo, but equally I would turn down a 10/10 if all he has to offer is looks and has no good conversation and is no fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/21 04:44 PM
3

Exactly. I don’t think ease of losing weight really matters though - fat girls don’t seem to generally have issues getting guys. And it’s good that guys can lose weight relatively easily - but as you implied, that also reflects worse on them when they’re fat. It’s easy to lose, so put the effort in.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/21 03:35 PM
2

I suppose so - although I don't tend to look at older women and think they 'need' botox or anything else and I doubt that many guys do. If people of either gender want to age gracefully, good on them. My view is coloured though as I'm not interested in spending money on that stuff myself. I'll embrace the hag.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/21 02:43 PM
1

No I'm not bothered about muscles - skinny, muscles, even a little bit of lockdown podge is fine. And yep, agree on the second point. It must be a minefield for guys, as some girls don't care and some are very exacting. On the whole, guys don't seem quite as exacting, so an easier time for girls for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/21 02:41 PM
2

Definitely - but I'm talking from my perspective which is not really caring. I probably wouldn't go for someone significantly shorter than me, but I'm 5'6 so that's not an issue I've come across yet!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/21 02:31 PM
3

I don't have a high n or relationship count, I've dated 3 guys and they were all my height. For me, while height can be attractive, it 's not something I would factor in. Weight probably would be - but I'm skinny/slim so it's not like I'm asking for what I don't work for myself. As for generally, I think probably height and weight interplay. Would an overweight tall guy get more attention than a short fat guy? Probably, but I'd wager the skinny/slim/muscular variations would get more attention t…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/21 02:29 PM
1

5’6
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/21 02:12 PM
5

That’s the trope, although if I saw a 5’10 man in the street I wouldn’t be able to tell you if he was over or under 6ft. He’s taller than me so that would be all I really notice. Definitely can be different for other people though. My previous boyfriends have been my height!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/21 01:23 PM
21

True. But that also renders this question and the whole thread utterly pointless. You can never know.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/21 09:57 AM
33

I tend to think it’s also easier to be an attractive woman than an attractive man. A woman with a bit of extra weight can still be very attractive as it increases boob, hip and butt size. A man with extra weight is likely to either have a belly or he might hold it on his hips. It’s harder for men to carry off weight, and given more than half the western population is overweight ...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/21 07:39 AM
24

Out of ~20 female friends, two have cheated (one had sex, one kissed). I think you did the right thing by leaving. My family was torn apart by a cheating father - I will never tolerate it in my relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/21 06:20 AM
1

That isn’t the kind of risk we were discussing.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/21 06:16 AM
1

Sure, some people set their standards too high. But surely the important thing is whether that person feels they’ve settled, not whether they actually have. Settling and being settled for can work but it can breed resentment in some cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 07:48 AM
1

But we get told on here that people hate the idea of being settled for (betas etc) so that sounds like it would just make people more resentful.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 07:33 AM
2

Moderation - what does this mean in a practical sense? That men and women should lower their standards? That more people should just ‘settle’?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/21 07:09 AM
6

And only conducted on students. Even the abstract reads like it might be a Master’s paper or something, it’s not well written.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/21 09:51 AM
2

Spot on. The biases are clear.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/21 04:45 PM
-1

Pretty much.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 10:21 AM
1

I think some of the basic tenets of FDS - know your worth etc - are fine but it’s buried under a load of ridiculousness and honestly a bit of anti-male toxicity. I don’t believe guys should pay for dates. I believe relationships should be balanced and reciprocal.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 09:31 AM
4

That their personalities must gel great. In my experience in my friendship groups it’s always been the girl who’s been more attractive than the guy, and I think that’s what you also see more often day to day in the street.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 08:55 AM
4

Sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 08:21 AM
15

Do you hold yourself to these same standards? I hope your balls are perfectly symmetrical.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 07:20 AM
3

Which you can’t do with a stranger.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 09:16 PM
4

Your comment implied that only women are unable to distinguish good from bad men. If that is taken as true, no men should ever be attacked by other men because they’d know they were bad men before it happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 08:45 PM
5

So what have women as a monolith done to you that constitutes a crime?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 08:44 PM
5

Yes. Almost all women have experienced sexual harassment at the hands of men. So we are careful around men we don’t know. Not everyone has experienced harassment or violence at the hands of a black/Asian/white person. It’s not comparable.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 08:12 PM
2

And men who get mugged and attacked.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 08:09 PM
4

The revenge part of your comment is a bit concerning.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 08:07 PM
1

It looks like 2:1 might one day happen - far in the future. Was reading an article today about the Y chromosome weakening and dying out.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 05:29 PM
2

Two questions. If you and a girl were great in every other way - attracted, personalities aligned, future goals matching - would you still walk away if you found she had a high n-count? Would you have a high n-count yourself if you could?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 02:27 PM
3

In theory if you met a girl - you find her attractive, your personalities gel, and you both have similar goals for the future, but you didn’t know her n-count or suspected it was high, would you end it all regardless?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 01:12 PM
4

My n-count is low so not an issue for me personally. It’s not a shame attack - I just genuinely don’t see this issue reflected in peoples’ real lives off the internet. I am in Europe though as opposed to the US so maybe things are different there.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 01:03 PM
0

That’s the risk you take in the dating game I suppose.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 01:02 PM
2

People out there are coupling up all the time. Very few people end up alone unless they actively choose to.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 12:18 PM
3

It can and does matter to some people clearly. I’d just argue they’re just not the most balanced or socially adept. For most people who’ve had casual sex, a partner having had casual sex is fine. Those who haven’t been able to access it tend to try gatekeep and judge. It’s just not a big deal generally. If a guy wants to turn a girl down for her n-count, good for him. She’ll find someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 12:17 PM
1

You said most women have a fucked up taste in men. By that I assume you mean they don’t fancy you, which seems to be the root of the problem for a lot of men here.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 11:35 AM
18

Exactly, it’s fuelled by jealousy. They think they’re punishing someone by refusing them, when actually they’ll just find someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 11:25 AM
2

Women would just end up dating each other if that was the case
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 11:13 AM
14

It exists because people on PPD, TRP subs etc are obsessed with the idea. In real life it isn’t an issue. If someone cares about n-count, they’re free to find someone with a lower n-count. Nobody is being forced to date high n people, so why all the whining about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 11:10 AM
1

To assume most women fancy murderers and that it is normal is far more of a reach. What you’ll notice is that those criminals who have women fawning over them are in prison. They aren’t physically there. They are dangerous but ‘safe’ - as explained by hybristophilia.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 11:08 AM
8

I don’t know. I’ve never seen it in real life, it’s just something PPD guys like to claim happens. Th FDS sub likes to whine, but is also not representative of most women. In real life, not on the internet, women don’t have trouble coupling up.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 10:16 AM
2

Look up hybristophilia. It is not normal to want to date a murderer. They either had trauma, liked the idea of being in a relationship without having a physical man there, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 09:32 AM
4

As far as I recall, that was reported by an incel about their own experiment, right? I’d trust that as far as I could throw it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 07:11 AM
6

Those women are not well-adjusted though so shouldn’t be used as an example of common female behaviour. See hybristophilia.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 07:10 AM
56

This. I don’t understand the whining about n-counts on here. If you don’t want a high/low n-count guy or gal, don’t have one! That high n-count girl you passed over isn’t going to care. Plenty of fish and all that.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 07:06 AM
2

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 10:00 PM
3

I have no idea what this means. What is your view that we’re meant to be changing?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 10:00 PM
5

Yes I do. But I’m not sure what you’re directing at me - I’ve already said I don’t describe myself as a feminist for exactly that reason - the radical loud voices distort the true message, which should be addressing any and all issues faced by both genders.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/04/21 02:00 PM
11

I’ve had a look through the post - the discussion is quite balanced between reasonable replies and unreasonable ones. I assume you’re meaning the unreasonable ones. And no, I disagree with the ‘men are the problem’ rhetoric - the underlying issues are there and very real, but that way of approaching it is wrong and not in the spirit of what feminism should be (in my mind at least).
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/04/21 11:24 AM
15

Agreed, a much better word and no negative associations.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/04/21 10:46 AM
42

I’m sorry you’ve been made to feel that way. I’m female but don’t describe myself as a feminist - I think that label has been ruined by radical feminism but also that offshoot of feminism that supports women at the expense of men. True feminists (or just good people really) should want to address all issues, male or female or both.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/04/21 10:21 AM
3

No point discussing with someone who’s already in their box.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 09:01 AM
3

Nope. My own example: A family member recently got divorced. He didn’t have to split his house and he doesn’t have to pay her anything going forward. As it should be.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 08:37 AM
3

Not universally, as with everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 08:24 AM
1

If you have an equitable relationship moneywise, this doesn’t happen. It’s an overdone trope.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 08:08 AM
1

Dressing well doesn’t mean looking rich. I’m just saying, he’d be a catch - but nobody, his own age or younger, would even see him in the street.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 08:07 AM
1

Not if he doesn’t want to. It’s his choice to spend his money on her.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 08:06 AM
1

That’s kind of their own fault though. Marry someone who earns her own money.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 07:43 AM
6

This. I look at my single father - rich AF but he dresses like a slob. In the street you’d never peg him for a successful rich guy. Presentation matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 01:20 AM
1

Agree with you there. Men should campaign, create groups, make the changes they want to see.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 09:54 PM
1

That you’re claiming men complaining about wars, dangerous jobs - all things men have opted into - is limited to certain subs. But misandry and KAM is also limited to certain subs, yet people complain they’re widespread. Does that help your comprehension?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 04:35 PM
1

It’s funny how ‘misandry’ and KAM are widespread when they’re only seen on certain subreddits and sections of tiktok, whereas the reverse is apparently no way the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 04:25 PM
1

I’ve seen men complain constantly about wars, dangerous jobs etc. There’s no ‘starting’
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 03:54 PM
-2

What do you mean ‘start’?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 07:54 AM
4

A minority of men in Europe and Australia/NZ are cut if not for religious reasons. It’s rampant in the US and it’s baffling why it’s so accepted.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 08:38 PM
8

mic drop 💪
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 07:01 AM
2

Agreed, and I’ve been calling out that kind of attitude where I see it in my friends because it is unfair and wrong. Do you think women have a responsibility to call out other women who are saying this type of thing?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/03/21 06:41 AM
0

I don’t class myself as a feminist, precisely because of the actions of the more radicalised feminist groups, and how these negatively impact men. I may have worded my post wrong, but it was a genuine question as I’ve seen men act offended that women take precautions. You’ll see from my other posts I do not support the further steps suggested - curfews/onus on men to call others out/protect women.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/03/21 06:58 PM
5

I absolutely agree. I focused in one bit of the OP and not the wider issue which he is totally correct about. I cringe seeing some of the vitriol posted at men online. Yes I’m glad women’s safety has become a much more open conversation recently, but as always a few online twist it to be at the expense of the other group.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/03/21 06:52 PM
6

That wasn’t the intention of my post so I may have worded it wrong. I’ve just seen a lot of guys be upset/angry that women say they are wary of men they don’t know and take it as a personal affront. It’s not - it’s just that women don’t know who’s good or who’s bad so it pays to be careful. Most men are good, we know that. It’s just that the measures women take to keep themselves safe are being more openly talked about after recent events. As usual, the vocal minority got their hands on it and a…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/03/21 06:40 PM
1

You seem to think the guy in this story was justified for getting aggressive when called out. What’s the difference between being told to stop going after a woman vs being told to stop going after a server, for example?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/21 06:37 PM
-2

I think it’s that most women are already taking precautions, it’s just been brought out into open conversation. The loud voices online are reactive and in the main, wrong, and are taking away from the message. I’m fully invested in men’s issues, hence why I’m on this sub. I don’t agree men should take responsibility for things unless they see something they know is wrong and want to act on it. However, it’s telling when my reasonable questions/comments are being downvoted. Not everyone on this s…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/03/21 06:27 PM
1

So a person can’t call out another person for doing something wrong? For example, If you’re with a friend who’s being rude to a server, you can’t tell them to stop it? Nobody can be held accountable for their actions ever?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/21 05:57 PM
2

I’m not paranoid about it, but I am aware of where people are around me when I’m walking at night and won’t wear headphones. Because I consider the possibility. That’s being sensible, not living in an 80s action movie.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/03/21 05:54 PM
3

I’m genuinely not trying to make a point here, I’m interested to hear a guys perspective, as to whether you are ever wary of others intentions. And I totally agree - I’m not on board with all the male shaming online at the moment. I would never support that and I hope it’s a loud minority online and doesn’t reflect real life. But the women saying I’m wary at night/I consider the possibility they may assault me are really just saying that. That it’s a possibility so they will be careful, even tho…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/03/21 05:53 PM
1

If you are walking home, in the dark, and you see a guy or group of guys, say who are bigger than you, who are walking towards you, walking up behind you, or staring at you, would you consider the possibility that you may be mugged or attacked?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/03/21 05:21 PM
1

Troll. But just in case you’re not, never send an essay like that, especially with that content, to someone you’ve never met in person. It will not work, ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/21 07:32 AM
2

The poster never said he ‘berated’ anyone. He might’ve just said ‘mate, stop’ The fault is purely with the guy who couldn’t take a no and then reacted badly when another male told him he was in the wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 03:28 PM
3

And carried on hitting on her after getting a ‘No’. He sounds like an idiot.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 03:03 PM
3

This is why men should be taught to take accountability for their actions. Rather than turning on another man because they can’t cope with being called out.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 08:07 AM
7

Bless you for trying girl, but some of these guys are beyond redemption. Blaming girls for guys being dicks? Talk about being unable to take responsibility for themselves 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/21 07:46 AM
1

I don’t mind not being a blip on the books though. I can have a perfectly good normal life, as can most. Even ‘top tier’ men disappear. Celebrities only have limited worth etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 09:50 PM
1

It just surprises me that these men consider their only goal in life to ‘breed’ as you say. People can live fulfilling lives in society without needing a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 09:09 PM
0

It isn't the centre of our thought process, for sure - we've advanced beyond that. But we still have our 'lizard' brains that are wired to appreciate strong genetics, however they manifest in a species. It isn't the end-point of our decision making, but it does factor in at some level.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 06:50 PM
1

Oh I know they exist, and agree they can have a warped view on the world. But they don't bother me, like incels. Let them get on with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 01:55 PM
3

And? The question wasn't aimed at a specific gender here.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 01:34 PM
0

Not all femcels are landwhales. And why does it matter if some girls expect 10/10s? They won't get them, so what does it have to do with you? Just ignore them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 01:33 PM
-1

For some incels maybe, they genuinely just don't have a chance. And maybe that's just our evolution playing a part - not all males of any species are intended to procreate. Less genetically gifted males of species die out, so genes become stronger and fitter. ​ However many of the incel forums on here are full of anger, and some really quite cruel comments about ugly or overweight women. If they're struggling they need to lower their standards to include those ugly or overweight women. Then they…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 12:58 PM
2

Yeah, OLD has kind of come back to bite men in the butt a bit. Since men are very visually attracted, OLD made perfect sense. Until women didn't need men's money any more and visual attraction also become key for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 11:58 AM
0

No but if that’s how they refer to them in private, some of that lack of respect will show through. Or desperation, that’s usually very clear to spot and not attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 11:45 AM
0

And have they actually tried? I take a lot of what they say with a pinch of salt. Even the way incels refer to them as landwhales implies zero respect for them, which many girls would see right through.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 11:31 AM
5

I think femcels have the same issue as incels - they tend to not want their equivalent lookswise. You see incels talking about ‘land whales’ all the time without considering that maybe that is their equivalent.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 09:30 AM
1

I used a dating app for a bit and met a few guys pretty quickly. I decided I wasn’t interested but each of them was keen to carry on. So pretty easy to score a relationship in a couple of weeks I’d think.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 08:12 AM
1

Maybe for some women - although I have an issue with money or status being part of his SMV rather than his RMV. I'm not one for casual sex, but if I was, I'd be going for the hottest guy there, not someone who was fat but rich. Getting bought a few drinks at a bar doesn't make up for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/21 05:21 PM
4

Yes. I’ve rarely seen a late 30s guy who looks better than a guy in his 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/21 07:31 AM
3

You really can’t estimate dick size seeing a guy flaccid. Some growers are crazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/21 07:06 AM
1

You’re right. Only rich white men had it all in the first place, generally.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 07:11 PM
6

This - I’d rather have died than my dad see me naked after being about 8 years old (and still would!)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 06:41 PM
1

I think independence is more valued in Europe than the impression I get from America. There’s no stigma about being a career woman here whereas some of what I’ve seen on PPD implies the feeling in the US is that it’s wasted youth.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 06:30 PM
9

Exactly. I thought most parents gave their kids bathroom privacy by about age 6 latest (and the kid wants it by then too).
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 05:55 PM
2

I’m in Europe so possibly why I see this reflected less in reality. People seem to pair up with people like them, of a similar age. PPD opinions tend to be outliers when you look through the lens of real life
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 05:49 PM
2

It is discussed - it just doesn’t usually factor in as decision-maker. And often the discussions include how large penises actually hurt and how they’d avoid them, more so than smaller ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 05:30 PM
9

Really?! Not in any family I’m aware of. But I’m European, perhaps Americans are different.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 05:29 PM
16

That’s before puberty dude. A baby’s penis is not an indicator of what it’ll be like when they’re grown.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 05:06 PM
3

I think it’s that disconnect I don’t get. Why would 40-50yo men not be happy to consider marrying a woman their age? Why is it that women must be desperate and men think they’re full of baggage, whilst men of the same age apparently are not seen that way? I’m not sure in my case what baggage I would have that a man my age wouldn’t also have.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 03:41 PM
3

That’s fair, and I may change my mind by 40, who knows. But at that point, I won’t be damaged goods and I’m sure I’ll be able to find someone. People couple up at all ages all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 03:11 PM
9

Maybe some. But I know many who are happily single including myself. If I find someone who improves my life, great, but I’m not settling, as I’m happy on my own too.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 02:03 PM
8

I don’t mind if guys have that opinion, feel feee to avoid high-n girls. Just as long as they themselves don’t think it’s fine for them to have a high n-count if they expect a low one in a female partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 01:24 PM
12

Exactly, many of those who are single are happy to be. Those that want marriage chase it. Women also tend to have closer and larger social circles than men. Loneliness is somewhat less of a worry for single women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 08:17 AM
1

2nd percentile in agreeableness is hilarious - I’d love to have seen your answers!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 08:15 AM
17

Just as it’s clear that many men here hate that some women don’t care for commitment either.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 08:14 AM
2

OP, would you shame a prostitute? Would you consider her suitable for marriage?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 08:04 AM
1

That probably implies your SO is a bit immature and/or actively trying to hurt you. Bit of a red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 07:55 AM
12

I still kind of do
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 08:35 AM
2

Ha I can see why an opportunistic guy might enjoy it to be fair - as long as you take no for an answer when you get it! To be honest though, having some idea that other guys recognise this type of behaviour and laugh at it does make me quite happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 07:48 PM
1

For sure - I imagine our friends are on completely opposite ends of the spectrum, and my friend is more of a rarity than yours. It is just interesting how some objectively ugly people can be incredibly successful, despite not being wealthy, particularly intelligent etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 12:10 PM
7

I've never been one for casual hookups or ONSs, so I've always gone to have fun with my friends. Nothing annoys me more than guys following groups of girls around the dancefloor, particularly when they have made it clear they aren't interested. I haven't actually been to a club for about 2 years now because the last time was just a groping frenzy, despite swearing at the perpetrators and trying to move away.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 10:50 AM
1

I think that’s what I tell myself when I do get insecure - they’ve chosen me. So whatever they had before might have been great but they obviously like me. I agree though, everyone has hang ups, it just feels like this sub can sometimes take things to an extreme.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 04:20 PM
0

Yeah definitely - I was just pointing out it's funny how my mate and your mate had such completely contrasting experiences. I wonder if it's behaviour at that last moment of sealing the deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 03:31 PM
1

Sure, everyone has hangups. But I thought they were usually related to something about yourself, and not what other people had been up to. I tend to have the mindset of if I'm in a committed relationship with a guy, he wants to be with me. Therefore I needn't worry what or who he had before. I don't tend to go round in circles with manwhores though so I haven't had to dodge that particular bullet.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 03:29 PM
1

I mean if a guy asked me, I’d happily tell him my n-count. But if he started probing for details of sex acts etc I’d think he was weird AF.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 01:26 PM
9

That’s an awfully big question for PPD. Ask lawmakers in each country why they dont consider company a human right.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 01:25 PM
0

That sounds rough for your friend. I had actually the opposite experience! I used to work with a guy when he was in his early 20s, he was objectively facially very ugly. He was at least quite tall (about 5'10) but he was also fat. However, he was loud, funny, talkative, witty, and he constantly had girls all over him and that has continued even now. He remains fat and ugly, but an excellent person.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 01:10 PM
15

Quite literally it isn't a human right. We put prisoners in solitary for anything from days to years. That is lawful. However we do have to feed and water them. Food and water are rights, at least in that sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 01:02 PM
2

Also the old 'period' chestnut. Scraping the barrel to discredit a woman's opinion they don't like.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 01:01 PM
1

Sure it can come up - but my response would be very much along the lines of why do you want to know about my previous sex life? Any qs about how soon, how tall was the guy, would be some red flags starting to peep out for me. It's not even like I've got anything to hide, my N-count is low and has only been LTR-based, I just find it very weird and not reflective of any of my real life experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 12:52 PM
0

Yeah exactly - this is my feeling too. I've had qualities in previous boyfriends that I've loved and would like to have in a future partner. But it's not a case of directly comparing, and especially not in terms of height, muscle, size down there, that a lot of people on here seem to be worried about. If you're in an LTR, or even just having casual sex, with someone, you've chosen them for a reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 09:55 AM
5

What else is it? Physical security, yes I understand that, as men tend to be bigger and stronger. Not sure what else though.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 08:23 AM
2

Yep, but not necessarily going down because there’s a group of angry screaming women who are being swerved. Marriage is expensive and people generally are less keen. It’s not that attractive an option for either sex, cheating rates are high for men (and women but not as high) and success rates are low.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 07:56 AM
5

I don’t recognise those relationships you describe in real life. Most women these days earn their own money and are self-supporting. Indeed, I earn almost double what the guy I like earns. No big deal, I don’t require money from a partner. Expecting men to pay for everything is dying out except among a certain type of women, who men are free to refuse to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 07:55 AM
2

There’s massive benefits to the freedom in this society too. It’s not all bad!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 07:53 AM
2

I see my friends getting quite happily wifed up in real life, of all ages (including post wall). FDS is a minority of women, don’t make the mistake of thinking they’re the majority just because they’re loud online.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 07:15 AM
6

Just FYI, this sub, and Reddit more broadly, do not reflect the Western population, of men or women. Worth bearing in mind. If I thought this sub was representative of all men, I’d be a very cynical person by the end.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 07:03 AM
3

I just don’t understand why men get angry about it. You don’t want a ‘post wall girl’ - don’t have her then. Why does it bother you? Someone else will, there’s no shortage of men happy to wife a woman up, whatever her age.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 07:00 AM
8

All relationships involve some burden, they involve compromise from both sides which is by definition a bit of a burden.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 06:49 AM
-1

How does it? I didn’t, but say I slutted about when I was younger. I have different groups of friends now and live in a different place. My partner would never find out unless I told him, and you don’t tend to discuss previous sex with partners ...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 06:43 AM
13

It’s actually the comparing bit that confuses me - do guys do that often between the girls they sleep with/date? I’ve not got a high n count, but I have never directly compared my dates to each other, physically or personalitywise. They’re different people so it seems strange to care.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 06:39 AM
1

Just because people are good looking doesn't mean they aren't good people.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/21 05:17 PM
1

We should be. I was responding in the context of men because that's the 'educate our sons' message I was commenting on. That's been brought up in the wake of yet another woman killed by a man. I can also care about men's rights, men's mental health and how men are treated by women. It's not a zero sum game for me, although it may be for you and others on this sub.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/03/21 05:15 PM
2

Absolutely agree. Women should not be partaking in any of these behaviours either, and I would 100% call out any of my friends who I see or hear doing it, as I already do, for example when a small penis joke gets dropped into the chat. Unacceptable.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/03/21 05:14 PM
5

Yep, not disputing that. Yeah she wanted to go to the ball - she lived a servant's life and a ball was a taste of the high life. She never went expecting to find a man and certainly not a prince. The prince saw her and pursued her. Doesn't really matter anyway given fairytales aren't true - but they were written by men.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/21 10:55 AM
3

Probably true. But that's not women's fault. Everyone, men and women, want the best looking person they can get. Men are far less picky, which makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint given that sperm is cheap, so women benefit from that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/21 10:52 AM
5

Which is?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/21 09:56 AM
8

Prince Charming is usually relentless pursuing the girl though. In Cinderella he travelled the entire kingdom looking for her. So yes, hypergamy but not really a calculated decision on the girls side.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/21 09:55 AM
0

Agreed. But the current media conversation is about women, so the conversation is couched that way. It’s perfectly possible to care about both issues and want to address them all.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/03/21 09:53 AM
1

I agree, it should be taught to both genders. The current teaching clearly doesn’t work for all - only yesterday I was reading a story about teenage girls (only 13-14 years old) saying they were embarrassed to take school covid tests because the boys were making BJ jokes. That is far from an isolated experience. Girls also make small penis jokes all the time. That should be stopped. Both genders have a lot of work to do.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/03/21 09:52 AM
-6

Educate your son doesn’t mean telling boys not to rape and murder. It means educating boys early on respect and consent, for everyone. Do not touch anyone without their consent, do not catcall or make crude sexual comments to women, call out other boys who you are doing those behaviours. Most men don’t call out bad behaviour in their mates, their mates would think twice if they did.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/03/21 06:54 AM
2

How quick you switched to aggression and insults says a lot about what kind of person you probably are. Beating it now :)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 11:59 AM
2

No need to freak out and make it personal. I'm just suggesting that that may be what happened, in my own experience of how I've handled similar situations. Taking things at face value is good, but you have to accept you may also be lied to or hurt along the way by doing that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 11:38 AM
4

So probably they weren't as keen as they said. I know for a fact that if it's a guy I really, really wanted to date, I'd be there. If I've ever been unsure or not completely sold, I've flaked.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 11:02 AM
5

I don't think it's a problem? Retaining a bit of your youth and adolescence isn't a bad thing. Plenty of these people also hold down jobs, pay their own way, live like functioning adults, so there's no harm in it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 10:55 AM
1

Not really - I'm a younger woman so I haven't experienced anything around older women dating, but there is the idea that they may become more desperate and target more widely. I wouldn't disagree with that. It doesn't oppose my earlier comment about men targeting down being desperate though. I assume men who cast a wider than normal net kind of have to, in order to catch anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 10:53 AM
1

Car accidents tend not to be malicious or planned.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 06:48 AM
1

The common idea is that women as they get older do get more desperate and spread the net wider. They get what they can.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 06:44 AM
2

I don’t know really, I’ve always assumed they were too immature for women their own age to consider them. May not be true but it’s quite a broadly held impression among women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 09:57 PM
14

I agree with you. I assume there's something wrong with a guy older than me if he can't find a woman his own age. It's when you go to pubs/clubs, and there are older men (30s,40s) clearly hoping to shoot their shot with younger (20s) girls. Often you can see some of them used to be attractive when they were in their 20s, but now the going after the younger crowd makes them seem desperate and that's automatically unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 12:33 PM
1

No but the threat of it is real. It does happen, yes rarely, but why would you risk it?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/03/21 07:38 AM
1

You’re still ignoring my earlier question. Classic Kaisha, from what I’ve seen of your posts.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/21 07:36 AM
2

Cling ons. They aren’t chads, they’re Chad wannabes. They’re obvious clingers to the Chad group and the girl group
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/21 01:37 AM
1

Clingers
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/21 01:25 AM
1

So maybe consider if as a man you were to get mugged for your belongings. How much worse would it suddenly become if you were overpowered, sodomised and left alone in the dark, and left to made you feel like it was your fault?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/03/21 01:24 AM
1

I said do you care about all women ever. You don’t. Goodbye.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/21 01:22 AM
0

Yes exactly that. Men in general are clearly not expecting to women have to deal. No big issue, we’ve been doing it forever already.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/03/21 01:21 AM
2

Both types of behaviours should be called out. It’s not a gendered thing. When I was catcalled and groped etc, nobody stood up for me despite us being surrounded by people. Shit people exist everywhere.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/03/21 08:13 PM
0

How? Because I think men should call out other men’s threatening or inappropriate behaviour towards women? I’d hope that if I walk past a building site and a guy yells ‘show me your tits!’ that one of his workmates would say ‘Oi, shut up’. I didn’t think that was too much to ask but maybe it is.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/03/21 06:44 PM
-1

Nope, I know loads of great men. I’m just tired of the number of experiences I’ve had where men have deliberately crossed my boundaries or scared me, often in front of other men who never once called the guy out on his behaviour. You know somethings wrong when a women is the only one who’ll call a guy out in person and the other guys sit in meek silence.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/03/21 05:53 PM
1

I think you’re probably onto something there - for the men who genuinely want to connect with women. There are a minority though who catcall or whatever, in order to intimidate and show their power. They would carry on getting off on that if you told them it scared you.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/03/21 05:52 PM
1

Oh absolutely - I get your point on that. I don’t find a man walking in the street at night a threat at all. That can change quickly if they speed up behind you or whatever, but being out and about with other people round is just a fact of life I’m focused more on catcalling etc - many men perceive it as harmless but it’s one element that adds onto all the other elements women deal with.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/03/21 05:50 PM
10

I agree with your last point - how is someone who isn’t a Chad supposed to befriend a group of chads? Chads hang round with chads. Even from a young age, the good looking kids tend to be the popular kids, the ugly kids the dorks. Not many guys like this would be keen to take on a socially awkward, possibly ugly guy who might ruin their cred.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/21 04:46 PM
2

Exactly - which is why women come to tell men that actually there's a reason they dislike being catcalled and harrassed, and it's not because they're all stuck up bitches. It's because it can be offensive, it can be scary, it can be exhausting. We're trying to explain to you so you understand.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/03/21 04:22 PM
-1

Teaching women not to assume ill intent could kill them. Case in point, the current Sarah Everard case, killed by a policeman. She probably assumed no ill intent and look what happened. Yes the majority of men won’t do anything. But no woman wants to be in that fraction that bad things happen to, in which case safety will always come first. And if that means I need to doubt men who wolf whistle at me or approach me in the street at night, I’ll doubt them.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/03/21 03:51 PM
2

Women in general do not enjoy catcalling or cold approaches in uncomfortable situations. This is the type of harassment that is being discussed. I’ve found that men I’ve spoken to tend to think that it can’t be that bad, because when they imagine it, they imagine it to be by an attractive woman, rather than someone far physically stronger and larger than themselves.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/03/21 03:49 PM
1

It's awful that men can experience this too - I didn't say that. However, the idea that women are always believed is just not true - all you hear online is people doubting, if any cases make it to the media. I think the basic issue is that when guys imagine a role reversal and being hit on, they imagine it being a woman they find at least somewhat attractive. When that happens in public to women, the vast majority of the time they would not find the man attractive and would not ever consider any…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/03/21 12:23 PM
-1

I think the point is that even if someone bigger and stronger than you tells you you're pretty/attractive whatever, that can very easily become something more. It isn't always clear whether there is an intent behind it, or whether it's just a passing comment. Very few guys ever say 'I want to fuck you so hard' in the street, but they still make women feel extremely uncomfortable.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/03/21 08:57 AM
1

That wasn’t my question.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/21 07:58 AM
2

Respectfully, I think the issue isn’t so much that women are catcalled or that men can sometimes inappropriately express interest. It’s that that happens to women by someone usually bigger and stronger than them. It has a primal fear to it, knowing that if they really wanted it, they could take it. The equivalent for men would be 6.5-7ft broad women, leering at you and telling you all the things they’ll do to you (while you’re not in the mood). The power balance is shifted in a way that it’s not…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/03/21 07:05 AM
1

Do you care about all women, beyond your close friends and relatives? Weird statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/21 07:01 AM
3

Er, women are killed in domestic violence incidents all the time and never make the news and aren’t discussed. We don’t have a big media brouhaha for all female victims either. Special cases make the news. Murders of men are most often committed by other men. This needs to be addressed. But who by? Women, or men taking the onus on themselves?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/21 06:57 AM
0

I refuse to match with anyone with spelling errors in their profile ...
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 07:21 AM
5

This, exactly. I never put too much stock into any research conducted entirely via OLD, but especially a site like Tinder...
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 07:20 AM
1

I'm sorry that happened to you. It's completely coloured my memory of those years in school, and probably the same for you in that job ...
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 02:35 PM
–

I've put myself out there and been rejected. It's not a sure thing for girls by any means. Sure it hurt a bit, but I just sucked it up and moved on. It wouldn't put me off pursuing in future, should I meet a guy I think is worthy of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 01:19 PM
6

I can't claim to be an expert, but I don't think pregnant women can take part in clinical trials. I took part in one recently and had to do a pregnancy test at every appointment to be sure. That clinical trials didn't include women previously weren't so much down to pregnancy as they were down to women's greater hormonal fluctuation, despite the fact that women live with these constantly, so vaccines and treatments need to take them into account.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 01:09 PM
0

I was sexually assaulted by a boy in middle school, repeatedly. I didn't ever tell anyone explicitly - but I asked both male and female teachers to sit me elsewhere/move me/told them I was uncomfortable and nobody helped. Now I'm probably overly suspicious of random approaches by men, and am guilty of 'over-vetting'. Hey ho.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 01:00 PM
4

Not at all, you can't assume what your kid will turn out like. Case in point, I'm one of 3 girls. One of us is 5 foot, I'm 5'5, the other one is 5'11. While yes, your kids could inherit something you 'don't like', it's not a big enough risk to not have children if you're with someone you love.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 12:52 PM
3

It is alpha to be vulnerable to a partner. It shows you're totally comfortable with your thoughts and feelings, and that is a massive turn on. Nobody wants to sleep with a rock. Plus, the main issue here is that men don't see what alpha males actually act like when they're alone with a woman, particularly in LTRs. There is a whole lot of vulnerability and emotional openness there, that a man would probably not show or admit to another man.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 12:00 PM
15

When looking at cancers, breast cancer is funded well (I'd argue overfunded is the wrong term for any kind of cancer funding ...). However there's a range of other conditions in which women disproportionately suffer, particularly in reproductive health (women with severe conditions like endometriosis being called hysterical etc, which still happens today), research trials didn't have to include women until 1993 (when we know hormones and other physiology can affect vaccine effectiveness) etc. It…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 11:58 AM
3

Could it be that the dummies are androgenous but women are just slightly more fragile than men? Possibly - but that means that crash tests should also be done on some more fragile dummies. The point still stands that they aren't really safety-tested for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 11:55 AM
2

What’s financial abortion?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/21 09:21 PM
0

I have lurked there too! This whole side of Reddit is wild, I struggle to see any of these views reflected in my real life male friends and family, so it’s interesting for me to learn about the issues other people think they face.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/21 04:45 PM
0

Every time I read this sub I do ask myself why I’m here! It’s interesting to read the opinions from the men here, some are so far from what I see IRL it’s endlessly interesting ...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/21 04:15 PM
-1

Exactly. As a woman, I cannot imagine ever turning to my father to ask for dating advice. Wild.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/21 01:05 PM
10

For me, it’s not ‘post-nut’ per se - but if he treats others around him badly. If he’s rude to his mother, friends, shop staff etc, that’s my clarity moment.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/21 02:01 PM
12

I think you’re spot on. There’s too much desperation in the dating market - guys who will swipe right on everyone in the hope of getting a message, girls who will sleep with anyone in the chance of it turning into something. It’s unattractive on both sides.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/21 07:31 AM
3

Exactly. Those who turn to vetting are using an easy way out of the debate.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/21 09:55 PM
2

The risk can be massive. And much larger for a SAHM than a working woman. Not the life for me or anyone sensible.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/21 09:54 PM
7

That wasn’t your original point though. Being a SAHM isn’t a safe option - you always have to be aware of what might happen which is why many women prefer careers and children over being a SAHM and children.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/21 07:08 PM
10

They were, as far as she or we could see. Even though she thought she was safe, she wasn’t. Could apply to any SAHM.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/21 06:22 PM
3

Agreed. I have a good career and I’m happy single. If I meet a man who improves my life, great. And he can then have the confidence to know that I’m not with him because I need him, but because I want him.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/21 06:09 PM
10

Same in my experience too.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/21 06:05 PM
16

Just like my mother until my father turned out to be a serial cheater, then she was screwed with years of no work experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/21 06:03 PM
13

It’s the double standard. Women who get cheated on/single mothers - clearly she dated an asshole, she vetted badly. Men get taken advantage of by a gold digger - no fault on the man’s part at all of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/21 11:31 AM
7

But is that because they’re undervaluing or unhappy, or is it because actually they’re just happy single? Genuine question. My view is that it’s easier for women to be single than it used to be - own income, can support yourself etc, so marriage and relationships aren’t as imperative as they were.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 09:00 AM
14

It’s refreshing to see another woman here who is or would be happy alone. So many are desperate to be in a relationship and will settle because of it. I’m happy being alone unless I find someone who enhances my life. If not, no biggie.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 07:48 PM
2

As someone who’s father did it, it’s not. I’d have so much more respect for him if he’d said he was unhappy and left, before he lied and betrayed his family.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/21 05:52 PM
1

I’d love it! Can still spend time together whenever you want but also separately for your own hobbies, own friends and being able to get a full nights sleep on work nights!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/21 05:22 PM
3

They’ll stay but cheat at the same time. No better. Not brave enough to end it mostly.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/21 04:40 PM
14

Isn’t that the same for guys though? They’re not attractive enough to get a supermodel woman, but they settle for the woman they can get. If a younger, more attractive model came along they’d be off too. I think you have a very cynical view. Love isn’t reserved for beautiful rich people only. Money and looks are nothing if you’re not funny, a good conversationalist, kind etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/21 11:42 AM
1

Yes, looks do play a role in cold approaches, obviously.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 05:36 PM
1

If all women are rejecting you but other guys here are having success, it’s something about you or how you’re doing it. It’s just the facts.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 04:33 PM
1

They could be trying to help. The other poster had success even when he wasn’t that physically attractive (overweight). What are you doing differently to him?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 04:08 PM
3

Good self reflection there.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 04:06 PM
1

I didn't always abide by it in my last relationship. I at times was very selfish. The relationship didn't last, and while there were issues on both sides, I fully recognise where I was at fault. I've learnt from it though and I think that golden rule really is golden going forward!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 03:07 PM
2

Says someone who clearly has no actual experience of a good girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 03:06 PM
1

Dude, that's one thing you don't get a say in. It's one thing you shouldn't get a say in.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 03:04 PM
1

Which women's choices are subsidized by men? Edit: Never mind, I see you've responded below!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 03:02 PM
1

Being devils advocate, there’s so much on here about women vetting badly. Isn’t this just an example of a man vetting badly?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/21 02:49 PM
1

Oh yeah, there’s rampant hypocrisy on both sides. But we are all responsible for communicating what we want and need. The above is a pretty poor example, trying to pass the buck.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/21 02:48 PM
1

Exactly. Classic example of bad communication on both sides, but blamed entirely on the woman. Ahh PPD ...
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/21 12:07 PM
10

Why would you allow her to spend all your money? Couples should be clear and upfront about finances, what level of expenditure is acceptable etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/21 07:53 AM
2

I’m with you 100%. I don’t feel the pressure to decide now. When I hit 35 or so and the pressure increases, then I’ll decide.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/21 07:35 AM
4

Yeah BMI is a wildly inaccurate measure for anyone with any muscle mass.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 05:08 PM
1

It’s difficult to imagine. I’d still love him, but I’d disagree with him and probably have far less contact with him. My grandfather is racist, as many, many older people are. We love him anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 04:24 PM
5

Is dying for someone the only definition of romance you can think of?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 04:22 PM
1

I knew I wanted kids at some point, but I definitely didn’t want them in my 20s. People only escape their parents around 18, I wanted a good portion of my life free first. If I decide I want kids now, I’ll be in a position where I can afford them and give them a good life. Not feeling the pressure at the moment!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 04:22 PM
1

I know why other people do. But for me family is unconditional, so I can’t think of a reason why I personally would.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 12:36 PM
3

True, I tend to consider those situations as not being the norm - but I may very well be wrong. I can't imagine why I would walk away from any family member for being gay/homeless/joining a religion etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 12:33 PM
1

What do you mean by cold reality of their love? Do men have warm love?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 12:32 PM
8

Exactly. Looks are only part of it. Someone who was previously a loved and respected man or woman - outed as being a paedophile or a murderer? Not so loved any more (except by family which is unconditional).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 11:02 AM
2

If only we could choose ...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 09:58 AM
8

Exactly! There is so much evidence showing how women get left behind by leaving the workforce for a couple of years to have a baby. It's not just 'pick up where you left off'.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 09:58 AM
8

I am 30 and do not have children because I wasn't ready before this. The guys I dated in my 20s were not ready for children. I didn't have children with them because I vetted them. If I had, I would've been a single mother by now. I don't understand on this forum how single mothers are demonised as 'not choosing good men', but now they've made it to 30 without children, they're somehow demonised for not just settling for a 'not good man'.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 09:56 AM
17

I'm not sure if I want children. I'm 30 now. I have friends who had kids in their 20s, and I'm glad I didn't. I have a good job, and am about to buy a house. I want to be financially stable and emotionally mature before I have a child. I wasn't either of those in my 20s. Yes, risks increase over age 35. But if you look after yourself - eat well, exercise - you put yourself in the best position you can. Plus, you get multiple screenings during pregnancy so a lot of complications can be picked up …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 09:51 AM
1

If you’re happy to pay child support, go for it. But let the woman know that’s your plan upfront.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 07:41 AM
16

This should be a daily mantra for everyone, men and women.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/02/21 08:09 AM
6

Surely it's a yes for everyone, even those who are desperate for sex? For me, it's absolutely better to be alone than in an unhappy relationship. I've had a couple of LTRs, both of which were great and could have gone the distance, but I wasn't the best partner I could have been and it broke down. I've worked on myself, but I've also realised I am happy being alone so I would only get into a relationship if a partner could make my life better. I don't feel any pressure, and it's very freeing.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 03:51 PM
1

This, exactly. Do whatever you want, with whoever wants to, but be honest. If you don't want an LTR, don't lie about it in order to get someone into bed with you. If you want a guy to financially support you and be a SAHM, be upfront that that is your expectation.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 01:30 PM
2

TRP is for guys who struggle to get sex. Plenty of women are happy to have one night stands with no strings. If both parties just want sex then I see no issue. Where TRP is manipulative is with the plate spinning and the leading women on. That’s assuming the women has an eventual relationship on her mind, rather than just a quick bang.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/21 08:23 PM
2

If all the girl wants is to have sex, why is it manipulation? If she really wants a relationship and is being led on then yes, for sure. But if it’s just an ONS and both parties are up for it, I don’t see an issue?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/21 07:41 PM
3

It’s manipulation in an ONS if the girl is wanting it to potentially turn into something more and the guy assures her he is too, but doesn’t mean it. If it’s literally just sex, both people are getting what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/21 06:14 PM
7

Sounds remarkably similar to TRP doesn’t it? Telling you what you wanted to hear ... A systematic plan ... That’s why women don’t like elements of TRP.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/21 04:19 PM
134

TRP isn’t threatening to women. At its core I think it’s fine, it’s just a list of advice for guys who aren’t naturally successful. It is often picked up by misogynists though which is why it gets a bad public rap. It’s fine if guys want to try it to have casual sex - providing the girl also just wants sex and he’s not leading her on with the hope of a relationship. If it’s just sex on both sides then it’s not manipulation, it’s just ONSs. Everyone gets what they want, end of. My issue with TRP …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/21 01:37 PM
3

Arse’hoal’?!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/21 09:41 AM
3

My approach has been to not label myself a feminist. I’m aware that this doesn’t challenge the radical feminists you speak of - but you mention yourself that feminism is a difficult movement to challenge by its very design. Attempting to out argue is an exhausting task.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/02/21 01:58 PM
1

I don't doubt there are women that feel that way, possibly many of them. But there are many that don't too. Just like there are men who will more than happily comfort his girlfriend if she's upset, whereas there are other men who would not get involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 03:50 PM
2

I've never seen this with women dating, none of my friendship groups over the years have ever been like this. There was always some light mickey-taking but nothing serious. Where I think this probably does happen more is in an ONS type situation. If you're out in a club with your female friends and men start trying to hit on you, if it's unwanted often the women will group together to stop it happening but that is more of a protective move than anything mean to the girl in question.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 02:21 PM
4

You just summed up this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 02:19 PM
2

I suppose. And that depends on the individuals involved - some women want their man to be ‘manly’ and solid as a rock emotionally. Other women don’t and prefer a bit of softness. I feel sorry for men who have only come across women who belittle them for being emotional, it’s a sad indictment of those women.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 01:49 PM
2

I think there needs to be a distinction made between being vulnerable and being helpless. I have endless patience for anyone who is having a bad time and needs a good cry and needs to be vulnerable. Everyone has those feelings, male and female, and everyone should be helped through those feelings with no judgement. BUT when an individual makes no effort to help themselves, then it does become burdensome and a bit of a turn off. My anecdote: a friend, potential boyfriend, confided in me about his…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 11:06 AM
17

I think it's a great approach IF the boys/men involved want to take part. There shouldn't be an authoritarian government mandating that all men must be 'manly' and strong, that is worrying. Those that want to be should be encouraged and able to be, absolutely, and those that aren't interested shouldn't have to take part (beyond basic fitness which is healthy for everyone). There are huge merits I think in employing more male teachers and having more male role models for students. This benefits b…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/02/21 11:02 AM
3

Why is it that every woman here is saying how they feel, including myself, yet all the men here are saying we’re lying?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/21 08:11 PM
1

Feeling differently doesn’t need feeling bad. Closeness is what is needed on a relationship. For sex or ONSs sure, I won’t jump a guys bones if he’s sobbing all over the place, but it’s a valuable thing in an LTR to let the walks down.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/21 08:09 PM
1

You sound like you don’t move in very good circles in terms of women then. Many are not like that at all. Perhaps you just attract ones that are?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/21 07:14 PM
2

A lot of women are natural nurturers, more so than men. And it shows in these situations for sure. Would a guy sobbing over you make you horny? Definitely not. But a guy you know already, opening up and being vulnerable? Closeness is important in sex, especially for women, and that is exactly what this kind of sharing of feelings creates.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/21 07:10 PM
18

It depends what about. Is it appropriate to the situation? I always think this when you hear the stereotype of women crying for attention like when their bf doesn’t text back fast enough. That isn’t attractive. Crying over a death, a hard day at work? That’s normal and fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/21 07:06 PM
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