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Not-a-penguin_ Archive

View 2 posts and 67 comments by Not-a-penguin_ on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

There's actually one valid reason against not wanting to marry career women. People who are very ambitious career wise can often dedicate A LOT of time and energy into their field, to the point of prioritizing it over anything else, and that can definitely be damaging to a relationship. If the other party doesn't share the same values regarding work, it can be difficult to deal with this reality without building resentment. People who want more present partners with more free time probably aren'…
/r/ExRedPill13/03/25 03:30 PM
2

I mean, I don't you lost much of a friend if she couldn't be bothered to give you a happy birthday. I think there's a difference between entitlement and standards. I certainly don't want any close friends that don't put even a minimum of effort into our friendship.
/r/ExRedPill05/02/25 12:53 PM
2

You're doing the mistake everyone else makes in regards to this discussion and assuming Nice Guys are this one-dimensional stereotype that are incapable of normal social behavior and that their entitled, people pleasing behavior is all there to them as people. No one's this simplistic. You are assuming they are deficient in other areas and not meeting the bare minimum because you see their flaws in one particular area and decide to fill in the blanks of some stranger due to your own misconceptio…
/r/ExRedPill11/01/25 07:49 PM
3

Nowhere did I say it's anyone's job to teach them their own boundaries. That's their responsibility to learn. The point is, this discussion is more nuanced than emotionally charged people on reddit make it out to be. And from my experience, Nice Guys do go way beyond the "standard for society." They go out of their way to please because they're desperate to stand out and buy/earn affection and acceptance. It's a people pleasing problem, as I mentioned. Unless you consider expensive gift giving, …
/r/ExRedPill10/01/25 02:14 PM
3

Yes! People like this just make you want to have them in your life. Being a genuinely kind soul is just such an attractive and admirable trait, you just want to keep them close.
/r/ExRedPill10/01/25 02:04 PM
2

As someone who's very attracted to kindness, I really disagree with your take. Like, the thing that catches my attention the most in wanting to know someone is when they show a great degree of kindness and empathy. Wholesome people are extremely attractive to me, both platonically and romantically, and I'm pretty sure many other people feel the same way.
/r/ExRedPill10/01/25 05:46 AM
9

I don't think nice guys demand praise for basic politeness and decency. I think most, in fact, go the extra mile and expect to earn the affection or the desired outcome from people. When that doesn't happen, they feel unappreciated and cheated. It's a people pleasing issue. It's a matter of having very low self-esteem and believing they should earn people's approval and not setting personal boundaries for themselves to only go the extra mile for people who give the same energy back. So they get …
/r/ExRedPill10/01/25 04:17 AM
2

I don't think nice guys are evil or anything necessarily. I think they are people with very unhealthy attachment styles and very low self-esteem issues, who tend to be people pleasers and also very sensitive to rejection. I relate in a lot of ways to people in that position. But what I think elicits such a charged response from people when it comes to nice guys is the trauma some people have due to the lashing out those guys can do when rejected. So I think it's one of those scenarios where I sy…
/r/ExRedPill10/01/25 04:09 AM
2

Thank you, all give them a watch
/r/ExRedPill24/10/24 05:29 PM
1

You like who you are, that's the important part. I would not focus so much on "getting attention" of random people that you wouldn't even have a good time with and being "desired" by these random strangers. This is a very important point. I know I wouldn't even be compatible with these people, so their validation and attraction shouldn't even matter to me. Yet a part of me still craves that due to childhood trauma and isolation. Working on unlearning this as we speak, although it's been a bumpy …
/r/ExRedPill24/10/24 05:25 PM
1

That's good advice. I think I mostly would like to be able to navigate social interactions as well as them, improve my conversation skills to become more engaging and interesting, be a better storyteller, and I don't know, come across as more interesting to people so when I'm in the mood to socialize I don't feel awkward or dejected.
/r/ExRedPill24/10/24 05:22 PM
1

It's interesting you say that, as I actually did a exam this year to figure out if I have autism. It came out negative, turns out I have BPD and ADHD, but I relate a lot to autistic people. Maybe the strategies employed by those that deal with autism could help my own diagnosis too. I'll look into it.
/r/ExRedPill24/10/24 05:18 PM
2

I've played D&D once and it was really fun, maybe I could find myself there. Have you tried online sessions? How do they compare to playing in person?
/r/ExRedPill24/10/24 05:14 PM
2

I'm happy for you dude. Hope I can get to a good place soon too. Thanks for your help
/r/ExRedPill24/10/24 05:13 PM
1

I have a very bad case of push and pull in committed relationships, had a very bad experience a few years back. So something more detached and non committed, being treated like a friendship, which I can navigate more easily, feels like something that would work better for me as I'm figuring myself out.
/r/ExRedPill24/10/24 05:12 PM
1

I know, it's just wishful thinking, I know it's not going to happen. And about the second point sure, but I've tried becoming more "stylish" and it feels really fake. I'm more of a plain shirt and jeans kind of guy, ya know? Anything too put together just doesn't feel like myself. Even tried earrings at some point, growing out my hair. Feels odd.
/r/ExRedPill24/10/24 05:09 PM
1

Casual dating to me is: meet someone who I have a connection with and we get along well, someone who becomes my friend who I also share a mutual attraction. We go on dates and have fun together with no expectations in both parties. That's about it. Why would your personality type make you less desirable for a casual dating scenario? Could just be my own perception, but I feel most people who are into the casual scene usually fall more into the outgoing, partying, extroverted personalities. Don't…
/r/ExRedPill24/10/24 05:05 PM
2

No? I want to date casually. Casual dating isn't using anyone, and I make it pretty clear what my expectations are and what I'm looking for when I get involved with someone.
/r/ExRedPill24/10/24 05:01 PM
3

Yeah I'm a novice, so I'd prefer to take it slow lol
/r/ExRedPill24/10/24 02:33 PM
2

You're totally right, I want so bad to learn not to give a F and just be myself, not pay any mind to those that dislike me and be satisfied with those who are in my corner. It's been a work in progress, but I think I've made lots of progress. What was that journey like for you? To get to that place? What did you do that helped?
/r/ExRedPill24/10/24 05:40 AM
1

I hope I can. It's just been pretty bleak so far, haven't had much luck, but I'll keep trying.
/r/ExRedPill24/10/24 05:36 AM
2

True. Working on stopping that.
/r/ExRedPill24/10/24 05:35 AM
2

Where do Tumblr users hang out? lol
/r/ExRedPill24/10/24 05:35 AM
1

Oh yeah, I wasn't even thinking of dating at the same time, just going some periods casually dating and meeting cool people, preferably one at a time as multiple people seems to be pretty hard to balance. Although yeah, poly people I've heard can be pretty nerdy, kink people too. I guess I could give it a shot. Also I love how secure they tend to be in their relationships, so that's definetly something I'd like to pick up on.
/r/ExRedPill24/10/24 12:03 AM
3

Thank you for the in-depth advice. I'll try doing your suggestions
/r/ExRedPill23/10/24 11:59 PM
1

Things aren't that black and white. I like the person that I am, but it takes years to unlearn behaviors that I've carried for a lifetime. I'm in the process of doing that, been in therapy for 4 years now, and while it's true I've got a long way to go, I've also made a lot of progress. I realized I like myself, but I also need to learn to not care about not receiving that external validation. That's gonna take some time.
/r/ExRedPill23/10/24 11:51 PM
2

Get underneath it. Why do you feel that way so strongly? Who hurt you? You're right that it's more than just a desire to date. A big part of it is to feel accepted, valid, and normal. I've always been... different, let's say, since I was a kid. And I was a total outcast my entire life. Literally lived more inside my own head than present in life, and always struggled hard to make friends with the more neurotypical people, I was targeted a lot, made fun off, always felt like an alien. So, I devel…
/r/ExRedPill23/10/24 10:48 PM
8

You're completely right, I think the biggest hurdle is actually being in the same environment as those women, as they, like me, don't get out much. Have to think of opportunities to meet like-minded people. You got any suggestions?
/r/ExRedPill23/10/24 10:35 PM
4

Popular people have as many haters as they have admirers - the difference is they don't allow the haters to stop them being themselves. Right, gotta learn to internalize that. If YOU like yourself (which is awesome btw) what makes you think there is nobody of the female gender that will also like you? Right, it's not so much that there AREN'T any women that won't like me, that's false as I've date a couple of times before. It's just that it's super rare, I struggle to connect with people in gene…
/r/ExRedPill23/10/24 10:32 PM
3

I know but some people are just SO MUCH MORE liked than others. It's a bit hard to not feel inadequate or inferior in comparison, you know? It feels like they're on the top of the world, they got it all figured out.
/r/ExRedPill23/10/24 10:27 PM
10

Is it really okay to approach people in bookstores? I always feel like I'll be annoying the person of they're just there to read. It's kind of hard to find nerdy introverts in the wild lol, but yeah I'd love to vibe with someone like that
/r/ExRedPill23/10/24 10:26 PM
-13

I try to stay in my lane, honestly. I don't really have anything in common with "hotties", but I'm also not really looking for a serious relationship right now and would just like to date a few nice people I have a connection with. Just seems like other nerdy girls are usually less into casual dating. Plus, I never had much luck with nerdy girls myself. There's some really good-looking and charismatic nerds out there, and I just can't seem to compete, lol
/r/ExRedPill23/10/24 10:25 PM
0

You're right, but for what I'm looking for currently (casually dating until my 30's), very few people are into my type of personality while also being down to casually date. I'd like to explore a bit while I'm still young and not mature enough to settle down
/r/ExRedPill23/10/24 10:21 PM
0

I'm not really in a place for a serious relationship, so truthfully the first one. I know it's not really something fulfilling, but I have a pretty big crave to feel desired to some extent like more "normal" guys are. Also I'd like to get to date casually for a bit while I'm still young, I already missed most of my 20's. I don't know, I'd just like to meet some cool compatible people to go out with while I'm sort my shit out for something actually serious. But I know my personality isn't really …
/r/ExRedPill23/10/24 10:19 PM
1

No, I like who I am, but I recognize my personality isn't all that attractive to most people. I wish I could be "conventionally attractive " by being myself, not by having to force myself to be more sociable, outgoing, stylish, etc which just doesn't feel like being myself. I wish my type of personality type was seen as attractive by more people, is basically the sum of it.
/r/ExRedPill23/10/24 08:09 PM
6

Yeah it's not a feel, it's basically a fact. Men's obsessing with getting laid is about social validation and acceptance from peers.
/r/ExRedPill25/08/24 02:05 AM
8

Social pressure and toxic masculinity are a bitch
/r/ExRedPill25/08/24 02:04 AM
–

You have some very weird hang-ups about social awkwardness and assume it's a synonym with creepy or inappropriate behavior, they are not. Just because you know some weird people does not mean socially awkward people behave how you imagine them to. It just means you have shit taste in others or are just as weird yourself. Regardless, I'm not wasting my time with someone this delusional and obviously bitter about the subject. Peace
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 02:16 AM
3

This whole comment proves my suspicions about you. This is what you associate socially awkward people as: A guy I had a great conversation with just abruptly said “It sucks you dont live alone. I was hoping we’d have a place to have sex in” before we even went on the first date and before I even showed such interests. This is not a socially awkward person, this is a creep. These are not the same thing. Most of socially awkward people just struggle to make conversations, be funny and witty, feel …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 09:46 PM
4

No its because they say stupid shit, can't talk properly, and/or have creepy interests. This is so dismissive and untrue. Many men who are socially awkward or neurodivergent act normal with people but get treated like shit for being different/ struggling to keep up with others socially. Stop gaslighting us about our experiences and stereotyping socially awkward men as the derogatory idea you have of awkward men in your head. Most of us are normal people, but others don't give us the benefit of t…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 04:53 PM
0

Don't bother with these people
/r/ExRedPill31/05/24 10:51 AM
-1

You're using the word in an inaccurate sense. Narcism is a complex personality disorder that requires a professional to identify. What you're talking about is internet nonsense.
/r/ExRedPill31/05/24 10:49 AM
-3

There's nothing narcissistic about this. Jesus Christ, can people stop bastardazing every psychology term out there without knowing what it means?
/r/ExRedPill31/05/24 12:55 AM
5

That's assuming fuckboys would ever care about your pleasure in the first place.
/r/ExRedPill29/05/24 12:37 AM
1

He's ugly but at least he's charismatic and neurotypical, if he's that social and likeable that he can't go a few months without dating. You understand it's not realistic to expect everyone to reach the level of charisma the dude from your example has? Ugly people are varied, and some of us are awkward, autistic and introverted, so it doesn't matter there are outliers, because those have to be exceptional in other ways to make up for their appearance. Most of us aren't exceptional. You guys need…
/r/ExRedPill28/05/24 09:36 PM
-5

Hi, I’m a neurodivergent minority, and my answer is go touch some grass. Cool, so am I. Your experience isn't representative of the rest of us. All I've known has been mistreatment for being different, so has the majority of people in our situation. Good for you that you've been accepter for who you are, but you're one of a lucky few. One of my partner’s friends literally does not have a bottom jaw and he’s in a long-term relationship. I play card games with a guy who is very obviously physicall…
/r/ExRedPill28/05/24 06:09 PM
-2

I know, I'm not agreeing with incels. I do however think people in spaces such as this heavily understate how massive a disadvantage being conventionally unattractive is. People who tend to give advice seldomly have struggled as much as those that come seeking help, but they project their experiences and think doing the bare minimum is enough to find a relationship or attract people, when to a lot of people it's way more complicated than that.
/r/ExRedPill28/05/24 05:57 PM
-10

The same phenomenon happens irl tho. Conventional attractiveness is a thing, it's no coincidence certain traits are way more popular than others. And those fortunate enough to be in that group have a WAY easier time dating, since more people find them attractive by default. Go ask a minority, a disabled person, neurodivergent folk how dating really is for them.
/r/ExRedPill28/05/24 03:48 PM
-10

At least you get the ego boost of knowing people find you desirable. Men like us just get to feel like shit.
/r/ExRedPill28/05/24 12:45 AM
8

There's plenty of normal, non misogynistic men everywhere. If you choose to sack someone who's a dick, that says a lot about your taste.
/r/ExRedPill24/05/24 09:37 PM
1

What do you think women find attractive that men don't, then? (And vice versa)
/r/ExRedPill02/05/24 01:35 AM
1

Plenty of them have pictures. And while hobbies, confidence and humor can be attractive, they don't really matter much compared to just being conventionally attractive. Plenty of people will want you if you look good, regardless if you're boring, awkward, etc. Compare them to boring, awkward, insecure guys who aren't pretty, they get treated way worse.
/r/ExRedPill01/05/24 10:03 PM
1

Except you really, really can't. Women don't have a sixth sense, or else abusive relationships wouldn't be so common.
/r/ExRedPill01/05/24 10:00 PM
1

Btw, you somehow went from uggos to mass shooters. To them that's the same
/r/ExRedPill29/04/24 10:23 PM
1

You guys sure have your priorities straight
/r/ExRedPill29/04/24 10:02 PM
0

You are demonstrating very little ability to empathize with any experience outside of your narrow worldview to the point you can't even read and take in new information. Ironic, when you're doing the same thing towards your views.
/r/ExRedPill29/04/24 12:43 PM
1

Yet all these radars for red flags seem to vanish when it comes from some conventionally attractive dude. Almost like the halo effect is a thing or smth
/r/ExRedPill29/04/24 10:28 AM
-1

A cute phrase based on hollow sentiment. We all know it's not like that IRL
/r/ExRedPill29/04/24 03:01 AM
-2

Just pointing out the hypocrisy in claiming looks aren't the reasons incels are incels, when apparently the reason they act like shit is because they happen to be ugly men
/r/ExRedPill29/04/24 02:56 AM
2

Yes, that's called body dismorphia
/r/ExRedPill29/04/24 02:54 AM
0

Most guys here aren't ugly
/r/ExRedPill29/04/24 01:05 AM
0

Sure, but how does any of that contradict what I said?
/r/ExRedPill29/04/24 01:05 AM
-4

I thought incels weren't aa ugly as they thought they were? Are you confirming all guys who identify as incels are ugly?
/r/ExRedPill29/04/24 12:49 AM
-1

Confirmation bias on proud display here
/r/ExRedPill29/04/24 12:47 AM
-24

This is false. Ugly men know what's like to be lonely and mistreated, so they tend to have much more empathy than your average player who has always gotten his way.
/r/ExRedPill28/04/24 02:11 PM
1

Holy armchair psychology, Batman!
/r/ExRedPill16/04/24 12:12 AM
22

Because while those guys are misogynistic and douchey, they have other qualities that make them attractive to women. We all know being good looking is a big advantage, and for some people that's enough unfortunately, at least for casual stuff. But that's not all there is to it. Many guys who are successful with women aren't exceptionally good looking, but they all tend to be extroverted, fun, charismatic dudes with good social skills. Now, they also happen to be douchebags, but they know to hide…
/r/ExRedPill31/03/24 07:14 PM
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