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View 2 posts and 32 comments by NotToBePicked on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
29

DISCUSSIONNotToBePicked/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 07:02 PM
13

SEEKING ADVICENotToBePicked/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 10:52 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
37

I think then one could already sign up for divorce. The response would most likely be "why are you so calculating? One doesn't give gifts to receive something back, right? A gift is a gift..." watch the power fight that will unfold in all the unspoken male passive aggressiveness. I think only an honest withdrawal and saying "I thought our fifth anniversary would be a reason to celebrate and show how much we appreciate having each other in our lives. I feel disrespected if you intentionally ignor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 04:43 PM
2

And you carry all the pain and stories with you, which in principle you can never tell to anybody, if you want to reestablish your self-confidence and don't want to let other people know how much you are willing to take.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 07:24 AM
4

Thank you. It indeed does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 08:10 PM
13

<3 It's so unbelievably sad when the very people that treat you like shit, without any respect and empathy or love, also accuse and berate for taking too much shit from others. My mom, my sister, my dad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 10:48 AM
27

When I remember things I always find tons of red flags I saw but have excused away or decided to ignore or turn against myself. They are there, more than enough. We just don't give enough credit to the details and we spend too much time in figuring out the potential intention behind someones action. It's too much oscillating around the question whether someone is benign or malign. Well, good people can do bad things as well. So mutual responsiveness, respect, care and consciousness is something …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 11:05 AM
3

Yes, I was never thaught how to protect and value myself, on contrary my mom shamed me for reading all those stupid magazine that teach pickme behavior and constantly discuss sex as if meant nothing. Then at some point I met a fifty year old married (!) guy while I was 15 and hadn't even finished school he tried to buy me with expensive gifts. Hell, he even showed up at our house and give my mom expensive flowers. She was so proud and I could see the dollars sparkling in her eyes. I am unbelieva…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 10:07 PM
8

Yes and keeping strong boundaries also means not to argue with the crazy, not in RL but also not in our own minds and particularly not with those that have shown that they are not worth our energy and attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 09:32 PM
8

Don't talk to him. Ignore him. Don't remind him. Please don't talk to him as long as he does this. If he starts bothering you with questions why you don't talk, tell him that you feel disrespected and that you will not talk to him until he flushes the toilet. Repeat if neccessary and then move to another room as if nothing happened. I agree with what others have said. To some extend he probably does it intentionally, even though he might not be aware that he does. It seems like a very weird powe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 09:24 PM
32

Even though it has helped me to get a new perspective on LVM behavior and identify it as what it is, it regularly triggers a lot of anger and rage towards what happened and does not help me to concentrate on how I want to be. I think in some sense it also means that we are constantly retraumatizing ourselves and engaging in this internal rant with the abuser. And I think that this is somehow keeping many of us down on a lower level than we should be. There are HVM and when we encounter them they…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 09:04 PM
5

Concentrate on your now BF. The weird thing is that particularly the comparison that automatically arises when someone treats you nicely can actually trigger the anger. I think in my case it is that I cannot forgive myself what I have lost and what I have accepted for so many years. I feel it is key to forgive yourself, since you might carry the anger as long as you wish that you could change the trauma, undo the pain. The past cannot be undone. Accept that it happened and that you did what you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 08:49 PM
6

Don't make your love the prerequisite, but his love. I would have spared myself a lot of pain and heartache if I wouldn't have been mislead by the idea that sex were right if I am in love. You should never have sex with a man that does not love you. This is how it should be interpreted with respect to my experience. It is not your love that makes sex right, it is his love that makes it right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 06:36 PM
2

I am watching the videos of Alan Robarge right now and I am really glad about them. There is a lot in them to which I can relate. Would you like to discuss some of the contents?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 10:15 PM
7

<3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 03:51 PM
6

First time sex usually means nothing. If you can keep your own attachment in check give it some more tries... Sex is like friendship, it develops, matures and gets better the better you know someone and the more emotionally attuned the two of you become. If it really was the first time it is too early to conclude anything. Rather focus on how comfortable you felt being touched by him. In my experience this is a good indicator for the potential...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 03:10 PM
11

Yeah 😂 for them improvement just means to work towards better matching their needs. Zero awareness for the fact that they should and could pay the same respect they demand for themselves...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 02:58 PM
1

Anyway, the one who caused my latest breakdown, definitely was of the "if women realize that man is nice they will use him"-type and it won't happen again to me. I will never fall for a man again that cannot respect women and I know that they exist, due to whatever reason... It is just so difficult to break this intergenerational cycle... And raise men that respect women without humiliating them for what they are. If we do that, as I can e.g. my sister partially did, we will not be better than t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 02:41 PM
1

So maybe what I wanted to say is better expressed in the following way: Not patriarchy is the origin of these circumstances but our human condition and the natural conflicts between men and women are the origin of patriarchy...?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 02:29 PM
0

It is really difficult to explain. I know it exists, but I don't think that the systematic was or is intentionally directed against us. I mean there is a huge difference between being a dominant ass and being a respected leader. But since being a respected leader is difficult and many people are too selfish and stupid (wrt cause and consequence and effects of actions on other people) they refer to dominance. And this I see as a unique human feature... Not uniquely male. It is an unhealthy patter…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 02:24 PM
-1

I can understand your point. Personally I don't believe in "patriarchy", even though I am sure that it exists 😉 generally speaking, I think, thinking in terms of them against us is just another step in dividing humanity. It is scary though, how much the men I had as "partners" didn't take me serious, because I am a woman and therefore, od course, I am doing it only because I want attention. Which is very similar to what InnocentBun wrote about her father. I personally think that understanding em…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 02:02 PM
2

I am not sure how to answer. You are probably right about the internalized blame. In my case however it was the blame I received from my mom. If I would accuse my father of anything then it would probably be that he is sometimes insenible in the way he talks to me. On the other hand he has never hesitated to explain anything to me, he never hesitated to educate me. Even though he is not very good in dealing with emotions he has never hesitated to support me even though I have probably streched h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 03:00 AM
1

Yes, you are 🙂 I am sorry, but after my emotional breakdown today and the last week I am just so low in energy. Right now I am reading about parentification and parentental alienation and I think you were spot on. Did you go NC with your father and your brother? I probably have at most four years left to find someone to have that family that I always wanted and I feel that I need to go NC for myself. Finally. If I keep parenting my mom I will always be trapped somewhere between guilt, love and u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 02:35 AM
1

Now I am confused 😀 did you recommend Eckhardt Tolle or Tillie or Tollie? I thought there is only Eckhardt Tolle and was surprised to read your recommendation in this context. Now I am not so sure anymore if we mean the same person 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 02:16 AM
2

I will definitely look into the books you mentioned ☺️ I am also curious about Tolle and the thoughts in which you see a relation to all this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 01:54 AM
2

Thank you for your explanation. This has helped me a lot. I can relate to you feeling like your more confident 10 year old self very well. In my case it was in my early 20ies, that I started to feel confident and oddly enough it was psychoanalysis that made me question the self that I had carefully built and that has made me stay in the "first" unhealthy relationship for too long and then the way for everything else was paved. I know I am on the right track when I can feel that confidence return…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 01:02 AM
2

Thank you. It will take some time until I will be able to process that all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 12:22 AM
3

Thank you. Why do "we" punish ourselves for those feelings? Why do they turn into bare self-hatred?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 12:12 AM
2

Thank you very much. What do you mean by "your feeling were not adressed"? Did you not adress them yourself, due to concentrating on the other or did you not feel them adressed by the other? I think I am in close touch with my feelings, maybe even too close. In my subjective experience it seems as if I am never seen or understood und people act out on me due to misunderstandings. So I am wondering what has helped you. Adressing them yourself of feeling them adressed by the other? Do I understand…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 12:07 AM
1

I would love to listen to it as audio... I just cannot purchase it on audible in my country, even though I would pay for it, it just is not possible due to georestrictions
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 01:21 PM
1

Why is it "therefore" in "generally for when you've been given a lot of understanding and awareness in life, and so therefore, you must endure more"?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 08:25 PM
2

I ordered it and it arrived yesterday. Which chapter did particularly help you with quitting smoking? I am desperate to quit but don't manage to work on it with all the stress I have. And all the "quit smoking" literature seems to be not really useful. So I would like to try a different more wholesome approach.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 08:07 PM
6

If someone doesn't want you to leave he should ask about your reasons instead of delving in self-pity and complaining the fact that you want to leave. Don't let him guilt trip you as it is very obvious that he is acting like an angry child. You are not responsible for balancing any of his faults by compensating his childish behavior. Yes, it might be unpleasant for him that you leave, but it is decision to make you feel even more uncomfortable by trying to guilt trip you. A grown up person would…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 07:31 PM
6

Girl, I have been there. Studying and working in a male dominated environment I was surrounded by male "friends". On top of not being true friends they immensely contributed to me turning into an pickmesha. Being surrounded by only men makes one automatically gauge ones own actions to theirs. What might be the right strategy for a man can be totally devastating for a woman. Men and women can never be truly friends, aside from superficial friendship. We can be mates, colleagues, polite strangers,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 07:11 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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