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Ntop__ Archive

View 10 posts and 177 comments by Ntop__ on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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78

A red flag isn't a warning sign. It's a "do not go past this point" sign. Too many women will count red flags in their relationship as if a certain number of them will finally convince them to leave. No. There should only be one. The one you see right before ending the relationship. There's no need to confuse this concept with "black" or "ultimate" or "final" flags. All it does is dilute the boundaries we set for ourselves. Red means stop. End of story. Anything beyond that is an excuse. ETA: Th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 02:06 AM
132

Even better angel shot with lime: Bartender will call the police, and we will permanently ban the perpetrator from our premises.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 01:37 AM
21

If you're bad at sticking up for yourself, the solution is to practice. Practice saying no. Practice in front of the mirror. Visualise yourself in those situations where you wish you had said something and re-write that script. Practice anticipating a few possible reactions and how you would handle these. As with anything, standing up for yourself is a social skill that comes naturally to some and require learning and practice from others. You can probably find some resources online to help you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 02:59 AM
130

Ah yes, plaster my face and name for all to see thereby exposing me to harassment from strangers. What a romantic violation of my privacy! Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 11:46 AM
56

I remember seeing a post from the mods a while back that any "horror" stories or personal pickme anecdotes had to come with a critical analysis. Identification of red flags, reflection on how to avoid the situation etc. I feel like a lot of the horror stories are missing the critical stuff that could help existing and new members understand not just WHY they're bad situations but also what can we LEARN from them. Decrying "red flag alert!" Or "run sis run" isn't all that useful. It would be grea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 06:17 PM
5

In a corporate setting it's best to not take the "I don't understand" bait. It's bait. A few options: Put the onus on them to be informed. "This is covered in the materials distributed before this meeting. Let's all make sure we come to the table prepared. Since everyone else is caught up, let's move on" Depending on your authority, you can make it into a group activity - "That's a good question - can anyone else explain to Bob here why XYZ is a relevant issue". You can also drill them down: "Wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 05:46 PM
74

Yeah a few of the names in that list I take issue with, though the point is to observe how men express their discontent with their high -profile presence. If a man complains about the content of the speaker's words and vents about how misinformed, or hypocritical or whatever they are - that's just disagreement with the politics. If they call for violence on these women simply because they are women or are famous - that's the red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 08:42 AM
87

Absolutely. I got the same vibe from Cruella - two ambitious, talented, intelligent women in a professional rivalry so of course they both have to be cartoonishly bitchy, cold, and psycho. It's so transparent that Hollywood can't handle women who are ambitious out of a love for their field or desire to do good in the world. It always has to be twisted into some version of "I want to win, so I'm not allowed to care about anything else, look at how unfeeling and ultimately broken I am as a result"…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 08:25 AM
49

Consistent, long-term tone policing. It can be very subtle at first but it gradually and insidiously takes root in a target's mind until the victim basically does it to themselves. It can be through small nudges, or gestures, or comments, done in public and/or among friends. For example: She tells a funny story that may or may not cast her partner in an unflattering light (although what is or isn't flattering is decided arbitrarily by her partner). He "nudges" her with a "now now honey why would…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 03:56 PM
9

Too bad Carrie was a terrible role model and the complete opposite of an HVW. (Her biceps throughout the show were serious fitness goals though) I love the meme energy but frankly, being fabulous means not having to explain yourself to anyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 04:26 PM
13

For sure think it will end at the two of them having to hug it out in front of the entire congregation as a sign that all is forgiven and "look how emotionally/spiritually mature we are as a community".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 08:26 AM
150

Or terrified her to the point that she went into an altered state of panic. I wouldn't be surprised if safe words were ineffective if the participant suddenly couldn't differentiate between "role-play" and "reality". You can tap into the safe word when it's all fun and games and you recognize it as such. But when experiencing true fear, screaming the word "banana" isn't your first instinctual response. It's not even a rational response at that point because your panicked brain short-circuits to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 08:29 AM
62

Plays an instrument exceptionally well, an eye for home improvement and/or skilled at furniture making, speaks multiple languages (though where I'm from that's quite common).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 05:33 PM
5

If anything in that article is true, prostitution is anything but easy money. I can't fathom the toll extended sex work takes on the body, even when it's spelled out, and those women are being robbed of their future years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 05:45 PM
8

Sex needs a linguistic overhaul. We need new words for the sexual experience that don't focus on the actions but the sensations. Where is the pleasure in having something done to you? Where does the pleasure emerge when you say " I was penetrated"? It's ambiguous - you could be its object or its subject. The pleasure disappears. We should start talking in terms of sensations that experienced directly by the subject. "I was titilated by his movements" "I want to be overwhelmed by the warmth of to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 04:02 PM
66

"Open-minded" also stands for "I want you to agree with everything I say and if you have your own opinion, you are wrong and close-minded. Anyway, here is why age of consent isn't a real thing"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 09:17 AM
52

Really seems like the entire purpose and drive behind 2nd wave feminism has been forgotten, or at least heavily edited. Acknowledging gender and its performativity was supposed to be a precursor to liberation, not a means to further our oppression.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 03:36 PM
82

Screenshotting before Reddit deletes this for being too radical and "oppressive"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 03:27 PM
351

"But why would you automatically assume...." I mean... best case scenario, you're temporarily embarrassed. Worst case scenario, you're hooked up with a rapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 02:24 PM
3

There's a reason we have the "delete my browser history after I'm dead" joke. If porn usage was a "healthy part of sexuality", no one would give two shits about the material someone's watched. A bit embarrassing maybe, but nothing to be ashamed of. But because porn habits spiral to more violent and abusive expressions of sexuality, men ARE ashamed of the things they watch. They know it's something to be ashamed of. Hence we simultaneously have to accept that porn is "normal" and "healthy", yet a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 09:41 AM
98

It's dead skin accumulation. Soap isn't enough to slough off dead skin cells and the bacteria thriving within. Unless they use a loofa/sponge and diligently scrub the entire body, focusing on the "dry"/"fold" areas like knees, elbows, feet, it's going to smell musky and even sour. Ever smelled the dead skin under your toenails? It's that. (Super gross but worth knowing what your body produces)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 09:51 AM
72

Ah makes sense. Damn we're really living in their heads rent-free. Really shows the difference doesn't it? We could be out there brigading and mass reporting their trash porno subs but we'd rather spend that energy on leveling up. Boys, keep up or STFU 💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 07:31 PM
62

Is there some drama in particular happening in the redditosphere or is this more of a general comment over their daily tantrums?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 06:25 PM
23

You're right, teenage diary is also plausible. I leave it open to interpretation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 09:37 PM
74

This reads like it was written by a dude. It just drips of bad erotica.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 09:29 PM
161

Doesn't happen exclusively for women's health disorders either. They'll be up in there asking "my gf broke her leg, how can I care for her and make her life easier". Imagine reaching adulthood not knowing how to care for a sick/injured person. Imagine not even having the critical thinking skills necessary to Google it. Imagine lacking empathy to the degree you don't even think to ask said person with broken leg "hey, what can I do for you". Pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:54 PM
23

The effects of media/games depend on how close or removed they are from real life. You can be playing hours of war games and shooting people in the head, but once the game is off, you don't go out into a warzone and pick up your place in the ranks. And if you did, 100% we'd be talking about how shooting games make our teenage troops better killers. But often, the social scenarios depicted in video games are reasonably removed from the ones we experience in daily life. Porn is the exact opposite.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 07:19 AM
101

Fucking. Ew. The porn probably gave him the idea in the first place. Or at the very least, justified his fantasy. "Well it's popular and all media is based on SOME inkling of cultural truth, so it can't be all THAT bad".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 08:16 PM
93

Absolutely. I get frustrated because it's not even only LVM using the "fantasy" argument. Like most people on first instinct will blurt out "it's not real" when you ask them about porn. Boh, such is our brainwashing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 07:54 PM
494

The "just a fantasy" argument is so non-sensical. It's a fantasy in your brain... That gets coupled with physical stimulation.... That results in pleasant sensations in your body... That trigger an overly ecstatic chemical reaction.... In your brain. That's not a fantasy. That's a very real mind-body feedback loop. That builds very real neural connections. That is conditioning your body to respond in a certain way to specific things your brain sees. FFS how are they missing the point that a fant…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 07:39 PM
2

There should be a contract/pre-nup just for future SAHMs. There are absolutely women out there who wish to dedicate their lives to raising children and it's fantastically difficult for them to regain employment after the child-rearing is over. This is also the period in which they are at risk of being dumped by the household provider turned LVM who considers her utility spent. Something like a yearly estimated cost of all services provided and paid for during the "family years", adjusted for inf…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 12:40 PM
73

With respect to home maintenance - basic mechanical, carpentry and electrical skills are a must, though there is also the requirement that anyone going on DIY repairs can correctly assess what can safely be done by oneself versus what requires an expert. Someone jumping into repairing a broken washing machine as a point of machismo is not HV if they don't have the knowledge for it and end up making things worse. (See that one Modern Family episode) In which case what is required is the ability t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 03:29 PM
25

You have to be careful with harsh detergents/cleaners on metal drains because most of them are on the cheaper end and are coated in chrome-looking plastic. And that shit dissolves fast. Best thing for calcium buildup is Universal descaler. You can buy litre bottles of it on Amazon (or your local labour law friendly alternative). Cheaper than the usual "shower spray" products too. Pour some in a spray bottle, and treat your entire shower. No scrubbing needing (maybe some gentle sponging for tough…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 07:57 PM
127

People seem to ignore that our lives and personalities are literally etched into our bodies. Our bodies CARRY us, our physical and our spiritual weights. And they grow, change, and get damaged accordingly. By the time someone's 30 you can clearly tell how they choose to live and what they prioritize. You can't tell a fit, outdoorsy woman to give the fat man who huffs and puffs going up the stairs a chance because more often than not, their lifestyles just won't be compatible enough to endure a r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 01:49 PM
111

"It's not a creepy, exploitative, power imbalanced relationship if the woman pays for her half of the date! Blah blah choice blah blah real women blah blah empowering blah blah turning tides blah blah inclusive feminism blah blah Men can finally have it all! Beautiful young bangmaid pussy AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO PAY FOR ITS I MEAN HER DINNER Yay 2021" Hit me up when the article comes out, we'll compare notes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 06:14 PM
132

Preach it. Also many people's lifestyle expectations vary greatly to the point that 'broke' vs 'not broke' can mean different things, particularly across socio-economic bubbles. Where I'm currently living, the average lifestyle for my age group includes owning/building a house. The economic environment is such that property is affordable for many middle class, or even minimum wage occupations. Naturally, someone who can't afford to buy a house by their mid-30s is considered to be "broke" and wou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 07:35 PM
20

In the EU it's called a civil union or registered partnership. Some countries like mine also have a "cohabitation" status which comes with its own set of pros/cons. You're bound to find an arrangement that works for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 02:49 PM
98

There are a lot of administrative/bureaucratic benefits that come with getting married although these could also be had with a civil partnership as an above poster mentioned. For example: relocating and obtaining foreign visas, life insurance (if one of you dies, it goes to the spouse, tax benefits, depending on where you live it may contribute to your pension, medical proxy. For the better or for the worse, being a "unit" in the eyes of the governments, domestic and foreign, is significantly mo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 02:36 PM
30

I've noticed that once in a relationship, most if not all of a woman's choices and decisions are framed in light of her boyfriend. "Oh you got a haircut! What does your boyfriend think of it?" "Won't your boyfriend mind that you're staying late at work?" "What does your boyfriend think of you making XYZ purchase? Maybe you should ask him first what he thinks" I was learning to drive last year (yes, super late for my age but I wear it with pride) and although I had told my instructor multiple tim…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 11:16 AM
31

I agree with you! I've gotten into the habit of looking at how I treat my girlfriends and setting that as the bare minimum for what I would expect from dates. Like imagine you're trying to make a friend and having asked them out for dinner, you jump in with "so... If we're gonna move forward with this, can I be sure that you'll be picking up the bill once in a while?" Ridiculous on all fronts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 07:42 PM
115

Asking if you do 50/50 doesn't make someone low value, but personally I find it tactless and inelegant which lowers my impression of them. If he's a HVM simply making conversation then a straightforward "no" won't be an issue either way. If you're really pressed then go with "sure, but only if we're married and it comes from our joint bank account".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 02:15 PM
263

An HVM wouldn't ask in the first place. In light of that, saying "no" or being tactful about it doesn't make much of a difference in the end. Go with whichever gives you less of a headache.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:56 PM
153

Also something about pencils: "A pencil sharpener that sharpens many pencils is a good sharpener. A pencil that lets itself be sharpened many times over is a useless pencil." Or something equally ridiculous because MY GENITALS ARE INFINITELY MORE COMPLEX THAN HOUSEHOLD OBJECTS. (Can the same be said about their dick tho)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 03:57 PM
105

Some of them really be walking around thinking women are just NPCs to be activated for sex and baby-making side quests.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 06:13 PM
416

FYI - giving birth is not the only act that makes a woman deserving of respect and adoration. The sentiment in the picture is nice, but HVM don't wait for pregnancy to value their woman
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 04:49 PM
15

I use the term partner for my boyfriend when speaking to strangers. I've noticed that "partner" doesn't invite the same amount of scrutiny into my relationship as does "boyfriend". This is especially relevant when speaking to other men, because: "I have a boyfriend" is a softer boundary than "My partner and I", and The status of being someone's "girlfriend" is considerably lower than being someone's, albeit vaguely defined, partner. It's more of a social preservation tool. I immediately communic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 03:59 PM
16

Similar behaviour observed within team-playing and competitive arenas: "Female-initiated disruption of a male hierarchy incites hostile behaviour from poor performing males who stand to lose the most status. [...] We suggest that low-status males increase female-directed hostility to minimize the loss of status as a consequence of hierarchical reconfiguration resulting from the entrance of a woman into the competitive arena. Higher-skilled players, in contrast, were more positive towards a femal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 09:15 PM
12

Also failing to ignore that a significant amount of women will not say "no" to certain acts during intercourse because They haven't been taught that it's actually okay to refuse at any moment The belief that sex is driven by impulse, meaning there is little to no time to reflect upon boundaries without fear of "losing the heat of the moment" (also re-enforced by belief #1), and The possibility of retaliation is real Also note that the erosion of boundaries once in motion is literally the basis o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 03:09 PM
41

Aha what a good litmus test! "If you wouldn't bring him home to meet your cat, he's not worth it"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 08:47 AM
75

This tip might not be for the kind of situation you described above but it does work when you need to very quickly and definitively assert yourself in an unwelcome situation. Practice dropping your voice a pitch or two. Not necessarily a loud voice, but a deep one that comes from the belly instead of the throat. Bonus points if you pair it with predator eyes. It's not necessarily confrontational though; more like a stream of water turning to ice when disturbed. Men especially have a hard time ta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 11:01 AM
45

Your way of thinking isn't against FDS principles. You decide who, when and how someone gets sexual access to your body. If you're quite alright waiting as long as it takes to find someone you're comfortable opening up to, then that's what you should do. It won't harm you in the long run because you're respecting the boundary you've set for yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 07:45 PM
19

Appeal to her dominant paradigm. E.g. if she's a "future thinker" : Where do you see yourself in the next 5-10 years? Does it include "working" on a man and putting up with his temper tantrums? Risk/investment thinker: The costs of what can happen if this man remains abusive towards you are far greater than any benefits you would have if he reforms. Health thinker: Is this man worth the harm he's bringing to your mental and physical health? Everyone sees their life through a certain lens. What a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 10:17 AM
92

Groomer alert. Was the next question of the test: "Would you entertain sex with a superior? A teacher, perchance."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 08:45 PM
264

Their reasoning for it is that it's a "private activity" meaning no one else has to know about it. Except generally we do know of private activities, we just don't go into the details or encroach on them. Pooping is a private activity. My partner sure as hell knows that I poop. He can even guess when it's happening. I don't hide it or lie about it. And yet, it remains a private activity. In short, LVM assume "privacy" is the same as "keeping secrets" and "respecting privacy" is actually "permiss…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 10:44 PM
86

As though our single ambition in life is to have "guys all over us". Nah bro, we're all about keeping the orbital trash to a minimum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 12:55 PM
51

I'm assuming submissions to this column have a character limit, otherwise the mother could have absolutely gone into more detail about all the ways in which someone could fuck up dressing and styling their child. Ponytail so tight the child cries. Ponytail so loose it's untenable for a day of activity at school. Outfit mismatched because it's winter and the child's wearing a tee. Mismatched for rain and they spend a day at school with wet feet. Mismatched for complexity and they struggle to go t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 08:29 PM
53

This is why there's no such thing as feminist porn. It's always centred on the woman. Thumbnails of tits and ass as though sex is an out of body experience for women who just look down on themselves during the act.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 08:13 PM
26

On point but I have to say this ain't even the bare minimum. This is a slap in the face and a huge f* you to a woman's worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 08:07 PM
37

FDS may have "strategy" in its name but it is about a lot more than that. FDS is a lifestyle based on the tenets of radical feminism, of which the majority are fundamentally incompatible with those of liberal feminism. Those women who let themselves be taken advantage of men are for the most part indoctrinated into a liberal ideology from a young age. FDS welcomes and is able to help many women. Though to fully understand and take advantage of the FDS teachings is to acknowledge the very real di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 07:40 PM
171

Privilege for the majority of men means having first pickings on the meat market. Women can more easily have sex than men - because men would have lower standards as to what constitutes an acceptable sexual partner - and they consider sexual access to be the highest of privileges that could be bestowed on anyone. It's all about priorities and the consequent definitions of privilege. The highest priority for men is getting their dicks wet. The highest priority for women is staying alive. So men f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 07:51 PM
203

Then they get angry that we dare speak up about injustices and yell oPpReSSioN when we engage within the public sphere on their terms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 06:41 PM
192

This argument that a man would subscribe to someone's OF "just to support their friend" is such bullshit. You know how you support a friend in need? Send them groceries, help with bills once a while, gift card for a massage, share resources about personal finance management, help them navigate bureaucracy. All of this support can be granted to friends without objectifying and/or sexually exploiting them. Like, my SW friend asks for help with something I ain't gonna be asking her for quality time…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 08:06 PM
21

Yup, good distinction. It's very possible that you encounter deal-breakers with HVM - just because they're HVM won't mean they are the right HVM for you. I also think using the term "red flag" is good for introspection on past relationships with LVM. You can always count red flags in the past but back then they might not have been deal-breakers for whatever reason (even though they should have been). Moving forward you can reflect how those red flags then become deal-breakers as you enforce stan…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 04:20 PM
3

There was an earlier FDS post about this short story and the OP also attached a really nice essay about the truth/who do we believe angle. https://electricliterature.com/what-i-dont-tell-my-students-about-the-husband-stitch/ The entire essay draws some string points I think every woman would recognize as relevant to our lives. My favourite excerpt: "Why are we disbelieved? Why am I skeptical of women’s chatter? Why does my husband think I don’t smell gas? Later, in the same piece, Baldwin writes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 11:08 AM
5

Absolutely - that's why I noted that this is mainly to guide those looking to attain HV-ness, while also having answers for some of our critics (e.g. that BuzzFeed therapy meme that was circulating a few days ago). Self-improvement will never help those who don't truly want it. But as FDS argues that high value/low value are mutable qualities, there would be LVM (and LVW) who may be gatekeeping themselves from their goals because they lack the full picture of what "Therapy" (with a capital T) re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 11:32 PM
7

Finding the names for things I experienced but couldn't explain lead to so many lightbulb moments. I wasn't even looking for it. Someone would mention some terminology on a Reddit thread and I'd just follow up on that and find treasure troves of resources. Little to no effort required. Actually working on stuff can be extremely difficult, as you said. But that's no different than with a therapist. At least for me, therapy was like 10% sessions and 90% homework! There's no escaping it. And I thin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 11:26 PM
97

Yes it's absolutely our business to police people's motives as they relate to socially detrimental actions. We report people displaying violent tendencies, we keep an eye on the people around us, and we intervene when they make bad choices. An 18 yo falling into SW is no different. Engaging in SW is not a way to regain your sexual agency after abuse or trauma. Regaining your agency in this context would mean seeking professional support and/or self-help until you are able to disassociate your tr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 09:03 PM
3

Hello, would you have a source for the MRI study? I'm using it for an info session with friends. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 07:09 PM
3

Hehe whoops! I always thought it was that the league was the highest and the person out of it was on the lower rank (not that I have any idea how baseball works). Corrected and well noted for future use!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 08:51 AM
71

The difference in their postures speaks volumes. Don't even need captions to know she's out of his league. Edit: corrected the idiom!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 11:31 PM
23

I didn't see your comeback, my mistake. And yes there are a select few comments in the screenshot that are decent. I was fixated more on the trash responses, each of which was somehow worse than its predecessor. While I thought your comment raised an important point, I don't think it went far enough. Although frankly I wouldn't even have the energy to enter that thread for fear of getting buried under shit, so your something is a lot better than my nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 11:13 PM
78

It's called sex positivity and it is a normal part of sexual development. Please don't kink-shame your 17 year old daughter - a bruised face after sex is absolutely normal. Seriously, nothing to see here. Move along prudes. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 10:11 PM
72

Each comment is worse than the next and I don't want to know which ones are from women and which are from men. Here's hoping more sense comes around as the thread evolves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 10:01 PM
52

Watching the Epstein documentary and learning that his network of "groomers" consisted entirely of women, who often began as victims themselves, was horrifying yet oddly unsurprising. "Better you than me" is the phrase that comes to mind. The business model of it all is interesting as well. You would think that attracting new, inexperienced "talent" would devalue the content of these sex workers. Yet I suppose in doing so, they're also attracting a wider audience as the consumption of OF content…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 08:55 PM
190

I know it's really really really unlikely, but it's still a good idea to hide the key pattern when posting on social media, lest anyone creates a duplicate. And otherwise, congratulations!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 08:45 PM
3

Oh damn the Bible is naughtier than I thought! Yes you're absolutely right, which is why condoms will not necessarily protect you either. In fact HPV warts can appear anywhere around the pubic and anal area, not only inside the vagina or on the labia. (Also why shaving pubic hair increases the risk of infection)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 08:04 PM
7

I got a vaccine at 14 or 15 I believe as a preventative measure implemented in my country. From what I've heard it 1. Loses effectiveness over like 10 years and 2. Won't protect you from all the strains I have no idea which vaccine I got (other than it was Gardasil) although I think it was more towards cancerous types. This was a long time ago though and I'm hoping things have gotten more refined since then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 05:01 PM
8

It's good it turned out to be non-cancerous and I can only imagine the stress you went through waiting for the diagnosis. Having HPV doesn't and shouldn't change how you think of yourself. You can just as well get a cancerous strain from your one and only husband. It says nothing about your character nor about the sort of person you are (and to anyone else reading this btw) Papilloma viruses are so prevalent among humans and other mammalian species that it's basically guaranteed to enter our sys…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 04:56 PM
43

You should assume that every woman who has had a sexual experience has HPV (not the same as HSV-1/2 just to be clear). You should be getting regular pap smears testing for HPV even if you are not currently sexually active. HPV manifests through changes/growth in cells: the most common HPV types are those that eventually grow into warts (inside the vagina or external around the pubic region) or else grow into cancer. As your body is constantly fighting the virus, clusters of wart-causing HPV cell…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 01:41 PM
32

Fair, although this extends to the entire job market as well. I swear I'm not being intentionally obtuse I'm just parroting back all the shit "justifications" that I've heard in these discussions. It can be so hard to argue that renting women's bodies for sex is fundamentally wrong when the people you're arguing with already consider humans to be commodities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 03:12 PM
32

The issue I have with arguing that "benefits" should be considered as more than monetary compensation is that the conversation inevitably turns into "well that's why prostitution/sex work should be legal and institutionalised! They should get healthcare benefits and dental like everyone else! And social stigma should be removed because it's a career like anything else!" (Personally I don't believe that would work anyway because it would substantially raise the costs of sex work beyond the thresh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 02:54 PM
45

That's exactly what they're doing and chances are they've been taught to do exactly this through family dynamics. You only need to observe how his father behaves after the family dinner to have a clear read on how the son was raised. The golden rule is that you should find yourself doing less or about the same amount of chores in a relationship than if you were single. Not more. Unfortunately this burden frequently falls onto women by way of unequal time / employment distribution and socialisati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 01:59 PM
191

I never understood this: "well I work a very difficult/physically demanding job so I can't contribute to chores" Like.... If you were single you would be doing them anyway! It's literally taking care of yourself! It's the crux of survival as it stands today! How do you expect to feed yourself in this big ole world! Of course men like this have usually jumped straight from being mommy's boy to being a woman's burden and thus lack basic life skills. Don't date men who have never lived alone. Just …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 09:39 AM
86

What kind of rebuttal might you have to "if men are gonna objectify me I might as well benefit from it"? It feels like a nonsense statement but I can't quite put into words how and why this isn't a reason for encouraging your own exploitation. It's akin to modern slave labour - "well those poor countries are gonna be exploited anyway, they may as well get some pennies from it while they're at it"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 09:27 AM
19

I get this one a lot too. "What are you living for, if not a family and children, a legacy?" It's not worth arguing with people who see the world through such narrow eyes. If they can't imagine fulfillment outside of these parameters, it's not my responsibility to fill in for their lack of imagination. I can understand how husbands and children can bring someone happiness, even if I choose not to go down that path, because I have empathy, and I listen, and I don't judge nor do I condescend. If t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 09:06 AM
312

So I don't remember where this is from or who said it but it was a comment about how society HATES the idea of women whose lives do not revolve around men or children. That a woman alone, content and fulfilled, is a concept too alien or too dangerous for the world. It's impossible for the patriarchy to acknowledge that women are complete beings, and thus capable of living happy lives on their own, just with themselves (women's social networks don't count of course - what value could women bring …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 06:08 PM
3

I wish I had your skills sis. My ex got me stuck at the doctor's on Christmas day and a whole month of pain followed by half a year of "adjustment" let's say. I'm still waiting for the day he loses his fingers as punishment. Ah well, I'm patient.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 07:58 PM
3

Oh god even worse is that the whole world loves a crazy ex gf story. Even more so than the LVM I think. Especially with Doctor Foster it seemed like all the relatives, friends etc were just edging her more and more just for kicks (all the while pitying her disgusting excuse of a husband and the cheating pick me)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 07:55 PM
11

That she goes off the rail seeking revenge is a common description of the show, but to be completely honest - and maybe that's a reflection on my sanity I don't know - I didn't interpret anything she did as being overly wrong. Yeah okay she crossed one big line in her position as a doctor. But otherwise, I think her actions were well justified. EVERYONE was such shit toward her. I could not for the life of me understand HOW it was possible that she was made out to be the "villain". Her "revenge"…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 07:43 PM
54

Yeah the women in those screenshots look SO powerful OMG YAS QUEEN DISREGARD YOUR BODILY HEALTH AND PLEASURE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 11:27 AM
51

I don't even let my girlfriends pay for their food or drinks when I invite them out, and I know plenty of men who do the same with their bros. If a man expects you to pay on a date, he's telling you that you're not even worthy of friendzone let alone romantic interest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 10:40 PM
8

That was a seriously fucked up direction for the show to take. I couldn't believe they just let it slide?? Gabby was mad for a whole 2s before going the "oh well I'm pregnant now let's just be happy together" and just FORGOT ALL ABOUT IT?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 07:22 PM
165

The scariest part is that PH could have done this a long time ago, but chose not to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 10:43 PM
2

Aha go for it! Thanks for the compliment ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 10:14 PM
47

Welcome! Don't forget to read the Handbook which will provide more information about FDS core beliefs. It may also give some context to some of the content you see on the sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 04:01 PM
159

There's been a bit of FDS content on nicegirls recently - they're getting desperate and trolling for content.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 05:49 PM
121

Get off Instagram or block the offending channels. Distance yourself from those people. Learn to cultivate your environment in such a way that it brings you peace, inspiration, and joy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 04:02 PM
8

I love how the "about us" section is all about the husband and barely a word about the wife. I think it's foreshadowing something
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 10:38 PM
7

It kept popping up on my feed - makes me wonder if it's a new thing and they're trying to push for its popularity. No idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 09:48 AM
15

I watched a minute long "teaser" of the video and I couldnt pinpoint exactly why it felt like a performance (i.e. porn, not sex). Now I realise - there was almost zero eye contact between them. The only eye contact I saw was between the dude and the camera. They may as well have been lost in their own worlds while using the other's body as a masturbatory prop. I always though intimate sex/foreplay would be extremely boring to watch on video because so much of it is spent on just admiring each ot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 08:51 PM
25

Everything about this was gold.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 09:46 PM
35

I Googled this and the first results are how the cover had gone viral because "it's so damn relatable" and how well it sums up 2020 and life during the pandemic. It seems like Tomine wanted to make a jab at "modern women" (why else would he make the subject a woman) and instead the cover was re-interpreted into the everyday struggles of living in isolation for young people, regardless of gender. So... Maybe a win after all?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 01:57 PM
76

American Psycho should be on that list. If the biggest takeaway they get from that movie is "Did he imagine it all in the end?", you GTFO of there no looking back
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 11:58 AM
6

"My boyfriend got drunk and pissed on me. Some of it got in my mouth" FIXED THAT FOR YOU
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 06:00 PM
22

The strength angle is real. I've had men tell me they don't need to moisturize because "it will make the skin weaker". Yeah dude, imagine thinking your sack of flesh is stronger than time and space radiation. And yet, when it comes to their dicks suddenly 'muh biology' rules over all else. I can't roll my eyes hard enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 12:31 PM
47

"What's your fantasy?" (Implying sexual scenario) "Corner office/sail around the world/5 children and a villa in Spain"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 08:15 PM
21

In that case he would have come forward with specific questions or dedicated topic in mind, instead of "getting to better understand the subreddit". We have a Handbook for that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 10:34 AM
11

This is what I love about FDS - we have our shit together and it shows!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 09:28 PM
7

We shouldn't minimize how difficult it can be to leave an abusive relationship, especially in her time. Don't get me wrong, this union absolutely was lengthy but it's not as simple as saying "she put up with it for too long". The movie about her life and marriage to Ike scarred me for life (one of the rape scenes still sticks with me) and the real thing was probably worse. But abuse warps also the victims perception of the world and themselves. (I've seen this with my mother who remains in an ab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 12:07 PM
28

Same sis. I found that frequently watching porn made it more difficult for me to get aroused in intimate moments. There's just too big a gap between what you get used to seeing and the reality. Also intensity of orgasm is absolutely higher when you're 100% focused on your body rather than a screen. We hear that multi-tasking is bad for our focus all the time in the context of productivity. Suddenly it's not like that for porn & arousal? Can't believe I didn't draw the connection earlier. Once I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 09:53 AM
2

Oh man that one just left me angry and disappointed. I also hope we get more such documentaries updated for current events.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 10:29 PM
32

Hypernormalisation by Adam Curtis. It traces political, financial and social movements to capture the "mood of our time". It's got a mad soundtrack too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 05:36 PM
2

I agree, that was not a woman proudly sharing her views. I'm certain she was coerced.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 05:08 PM
21

That was a great documentary. One of my faves
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 04:37 PM
440

This is how you end up with an LVM who knows/cares nothing about you. -- So why do you like me? -- You looked at me nice that one time and I didn't need to put in any effort for the rest
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 11:18 AM
126

Too often liberals overlook that choices are always a product of your environment, upbringing, and education. They are never without context. To tell us that something is good as long as it is "your choice", your consent, means preserving the status quo. Such thinking chooses to ignore the structures that encourage these choices in the first place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 07:07 PM
22

Bare Minimum King 👑👑👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 02:14 PM
20

A tip: if you've got a huge unemployment gap and you're applying to jobs that care about this, fill the gap as "freelance" or even "volunteering". Then bloat it. I helped a friend with some translation work ONCE and now my CV has me as a freelance translator / copywriting for the last 6 months. Took an online course? "Freelancer pursuing a certification in XXX".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 08:51 PM
3

May I join your book club please?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 02:44 PM
27

There was a post a while back on TwoX or other about doctors' approach to vaginismus among female patients. The focus was entirely on "stretching" the vagina so it may accommodate a penis, complete with advice on how to "relax and just bear with it". Nothing about embracing sexuality outside of penetration, even though the majority of women experience pleasure from non-penetrative acts. Nothing about drawing sexual boundaries around the woman's body and needs, in this case exacerbated by a medic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 11:23 AM
10

Honestly, stalls with this built in wall shelf above the toilet should be standard in every establishment. Space for extra toilet paper, some scented widgets, and a place to dump your purse/phone/gloves/whatever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 11:10 AM
25

Omg what even is this world 😂 This is the kind of FDS rebranding strategy I could get behind
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 09:15 AM
3

Oh yes!! She was my main reason for watching the show! Her stylist did a fantastic job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 10:05 PM
13

I get serious HVW vibes from Gillian Anderson in The Fall. Such poise, such style, and she takes no shit. I may just have a serious crush on her as an actress. Edit: The show itself is not centred around her HVW'ness though. It's rather brutal and depicts violence against women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 09:40 PM
87

Threw my shoulders back just watching this. Posture goals!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 03:52 PM
121

"You can learn everything you need to know about someone in 20min over a coffee" Fuck kind of boring ass people they dealing with?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 07:16 PM
3

Hereditary was amazing. It got me hooked on Ari Aster. A whole other vibe from Midsommar too, which goes to show just how creative he is as a director.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 07:21 AM
131

PS. This is a reference to the movie Midsommar. Highly recommended alternative horror/thriller(?)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 09:51 PM
9

And these men will have the audacity to ridicule women's skincare/body care regimes. I can no longer count the number of times I've had a man tell me: "you already look good why are you using so many products. I scrub my face with Lysol and I have zero problems" Yeah my regime is what keeps me looking so good. Also STFU, I can see your crows feet from here, Jared.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 10:16 AM
71

I'm currently preparing for a 5-hour dream interview and seeing this makes me so happy. I'm just gonna use this as vicarious self-care until I can treat myself properly next week. Keep sharing those queen shit pics ladies. That energy is well appreciated here 🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 01:06 PM
3

Yo, LVM - if you're gonna lecture us on relationships, biology, fuck knows what else, at the very least LEARN TO STRUCTURE YOUR SHIT INTO PROPER SENTENCES. Good lord this was difficult to read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 09:30 AM
14

"How little it takes for us to be happy" = "I have no depth to my emotions, zero aesthetics, no appreciation for my surroundings, my personal downtime revolves around a TV and nothing else, and I'm unable to either value nor create comfort, coziness or warmth in my own home". Read: I'm a bland, basic bitch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 09:18 AM
13

Agree with this. HVW don't advertise their services or value on social media.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 02:14 PM
6

Precisely why I stress the importance of testing for it (with your partner) even if they are not having symptoms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 12:42 PM
10

Omg do I have a story about HSV1 and disclosure. Spoiler alert: Always, ALWAYS, ask for HSV1 & HSV2 to be included in the STD panel (putting aside stupid arguments whether it is or isn't an STD). Edit: STD not STI
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 11:25 AM
30

Doesn't she turn down an opportunity for a serious promotion in order to spend more time with Turk at home? Also there's a scene in which Turk has eaten too many steaks and is suffering from serious belly pains. Carla is comforting him while Dr. Cox looks at her like "You're gonna take a chance on him?" to which she nods. I found that sad...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 02:41 PM
8

Everything from #20 onward are basic qualities expected in a civilized society. Way for the LVM to tell on themselves by admitting they don't belong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 11:16 AM
5

Precisely. And hearing "I can't help XYZ, it says nothing about my feelings" is a huge red flag. You absolutely can help XYZ, you just choose not to It says everything about your feelings for me - it says that I'm not worth the effort What a great example of LVM behaviour! And I'm glad he's an ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 08:37 AM
2

Amazing. The effort your ex put into making sure you knew how important you were to him is very telling. It's also incredibly romantic! Better planned serendipity than none at all!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 08:32 AM
56

A world without men is too much for my tiny brain to register. Imagine... Talking without being interrupted; being taken seriously everywhere you go; going running at night; travelling alone; no more unwelcome stares and rude comments; not having at least 30% of your brain dedicated to fear every time you step out of the house; no more "why aren't you married yet"; Omg and imagine the AESTHETICS of this world. Just... Glowing queens radiating their full energy day and night. Just... Being. Undis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 08:53 PM
388

I was hit as a child and told it's because "daddy loves you". I'm so grateful that I found an external support system through which I learned this was inexcusable behaviour no matter the intentions. First woman from the lineage to be without abuse in her relationships. Breaking the cycle, one step at a time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 08:54 AM
57

Further proof that FDS is not about hating men: we consistently encourage our fellow queens to apply FDS principles to their careers, professional acquaintances, friendships, and family relations. No setting is exempt from our standards of high value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 08:13 PM
5

Is it an international app? If yes, could I get an invite too please?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 08:19 PM
11

There's an interesting book that takes this angle - Sex at Dawn. It's had its fair share of critique, BUT it is an incredibly compelling read about women's sexuality (spoiler: monogamy is dangerous for women).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 08:16 PM
38

Nah I've seen this all backward. Men will organise hours-long board gaming sessions split into alliances while dispensing 10-move ahead strategy to conquer the opposing team, consuming inordinate amounts of beer and weed all while never losing track of points tallied by a TI-84 graphing calculator and a handbook the size of encyclopedia Britannica. But they'll forget to take the trash out for the 10th week in a row and it's "i dOn'T GeT Why yOu'Re sO mAAAAd"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 03:35 PM
19

Oh god you're right. There's no winning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 06:38 PM
24

You understand correctly. The user above is missing the point of this post. The OP is not attacking nuanced, empathetic, or insightful communication. It is an indictment of apologetic, compromising, or otherwise doubtful phrases used after the point is made.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:04 PM
3

Possibly. I use this in a work setting when instructions coming from a woman can be overwritten because a man "knows better". In a relationship this shouldn't even be a thing, I agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 01:59 PM
14

Also: "I am handling this" "You can help by doing XYZ, otherwise please stand back" "Can you repeat back the instructions I've given you"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 10:09 AM
98

It's not about simplifying your words. It's about standing firm on your arguments after / before you make them. You can be as nuanced and flamboyant in your language in a discussion, while avoiding the "compromise" phrases of "I hope this makes sense"; "If I understood this task correctly"; "If you know what I mean"; "Not sure how else to say this", and so on. I've noticed that women (myself included) are more likely to use these qualifiers. It's bad practice: it downplays your argument, and und…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 09:59 AM
4

If you do your dry September: you will find yourself itching for a glass out of habit alone. My suggestion is to keep that time for the wine, but spend it on a different activity. My evening ritual used to include a solitary ciggie and I decided to stop. I found that "ignoring" that scheduled time didn't help. My body just knew, come sundown - stand up, go to terrace, smoke. I kept that 15 min chunk, kept standing up, but instead would elaborate my skin care routine. I still stand up come sundow…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 09:51 AM
31

It's never too late to apply FDS principles, even if you're in a relationship. It begins with taking a close look at yourself and partner through the lens of FDS. What helps is reading other women's stories of their own HVM partners and keeping a look out for the green/red flags. What you need to do is internalise the FDS expectations and start living them day by day. This works by setting boundaries, re-enforcing ones already in place, monitoring how you spend your energy in the relationship, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 09:13 AM
150

Girl, you wasted way too many words not just on an LVM, but a brain-dead human at that. Save your energy and block at first typo. You're better than this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 08:40 AM
131

You nailed it. Maybe it's that there's no mystery in the newer generations anymore. Imagine that - everyone has access to your everything. So strange when someone chooses to draw a strict line between personal / public or past / present.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 09:03 PM
434

I read a comment about how "FDS encourages women to lie to men" (aka dump your FDS follower gf). Like, where do they get these ideas?? I have yet to see any evidence of this in FDS. Do they just make shit up at this point just to discredit a women's empowerment group? (Yes. Yes they do)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 08:28 PM
7

Not even that. They failed to teach them that it's OKAY TO LEARN to do these things. If something breaks, leaks, tears or needs some basic maintenance, I hop on YouTube and study that shit. Most of the men I've known call their moms or relatives like "why should I do this if someone else can do it for me". How basic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 12:31 PM
218

Translation: Catch the bouquet the right way, ladies!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 03:40 PM
27

Aka. Professional Woman Hater
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 11:57 AM
104

Absolutely. It's incredibly creepy. And as much fun as it would be to give such a request a witty retort, it's best to block and move on if you're not into that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 08:41 AM
13

Day 1 Tinder and they hit you with "What's your fantasy?" They're not asking about your financial goals
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:59 PM
19

Same goes for questions about specific sex acts, especially if they're "kink" related, in previous relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:34 PM
59

"You should shave your toes. You're already hot but this way you can be a perfect 10" Mate, I'm sure the time I put into my education not spent shaving my toes more than makes up the difference.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 07:17 PM
18

Trust your gut. Your body is tuned to pick up the tiniest of social cues, even if they're being masked by smiles. If it feels sinister then it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 08:19 AM
191

I hate this shit so much. "He's a great partner.... Except for the low-key sexual assault, gaslighting, coercion, and utter disregard for my pleasure, boundaries, or self-respect. Is this a deal-breaker? Oh and this has gone for so long we're practically married with a child". Jeeeeez
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 04:02 PM
60

I think it's great to have this "sex or affection" line of comms open in any relationship to be honest. I've known partners/couples to be shy with affection because they believe it comes with expectation of sex. A quick "I'm here for cuddles" beats making anyone uncomfortable when there's no mood for a full romp.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 10:11 AM
6

Googling "gray rock" lead to me a whole other world of terminology and explanations. I'll take some time to read through it all. I've struggled for a long time to find words for what I was experiencing (just used "psychological/emotional warfare") until I came across "gaslighting" on Reddit and figured maaaybe I was getting closer. It was narcissism all along. Amazing, thank you so much!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 10:47 PM
8

Much appreciated
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:14 PM
21

Any advice on dealing with gaslighting male family members? Even if it's pointing me to a more relevant sub - greatly appreciated!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 06:32 PM
3

"FDS [is] The most toxic sub on Reddit" - they do NOT have their priorities straight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 03:53 PM
10

He non-ironically made a post headlined: "Give a man power and he'll use it to protect women. Give a women power and she'll use to humiliate men". I'm pretty sure there are more than a few names of "men with power" throughout history that starkly prove otherwise. Edit: quote corrected
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 03:44 PM
14

"Payment is not consent" - well said! And choosing exploitation as a means of survival is not consent but coercion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 08:34 PM
36

Exactly. Under some dudes "No Stupid Questions" - Is there an ethical alternative to porn? - a few comments pointed to OnlyFans because "they're in control" and "entrepreneurs" which was also supposed to be the case for camming and we all know how that can turn out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 05:37 PM
105

Yup, and don't fall for the "it's an ethical porn alternative" argument either. It's engaging in sex work and should not be tolerated in a relationship. Edit: for clarity, the issue is with the men who follow OnlyFans, not the ladies who choose this path (no disrespect).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 05:23 PM
9

Good analogy. If your scaffolding is broken, damaged, or incomplete, you need to fix it before continuing work on your building. The more time and energy taken up by work on the peripheral support system, the less you can afford to dedicate to your building. In other words, it's not your job to fix the tools that are supposed to support you. You can tweak them, tailor them, encourage them to work in ways that suit you and maximize both potentials. But as soon "building" the scaffolding takes mor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 10:47 AM
25

"Everything [men] do is 'biology' when everything women do is 'manipulation' " SPOT ON. Or worse, it's us being 'emotional' and 'unreasonable'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 07:33 PM
43

To think my parents have whole-heartedly tried convincing me that women peak at 25 and "it's all downhill from there". Actually this coming from my father whose 50-year old wife has a legit 6-pack and is fit as a fiddle. The proof is right there and nope it's "you're salty cuz you're getting older and you know your best days are behind you".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 02:54 PM
13

Let's not forget about the domination/control angle. Women encouraged to keep quiet might also never learn to speak up when it matters. It also gives the illusion of one side being more informed and therefore more trustworthy if their counterpart doesn't actively voice their opposition. It's basically a tactic to make one party seem smarter than the other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 04:42 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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