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Ok-Suit1420 Archive

View 3 posts and 89 comments by Ok-Suit1420 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
16

Ok-Suit1420/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 07:18 PM
9

Ok-Suit1420/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 01:05 AM
5

Ok-Suit1420/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 05:29 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I’d hope that you offer her no more rent free space in you head.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 07:43 PM
5

We had a cancer scare that did require her to get chemo and radiology. She said initially, yeah ‘we’re not doing that anymore, I’m fighting for my life here.’ We made it through the treatments and she was deemed ‘healthy again—they monitored her margins that never changed meaning no more cancerous growths. It’s hard for me to talk about irl because I still have mixed feelings. On the one hand I wanted to support her fully and be what she needed. On the other, it wasn’t a conversation at all. And…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 07:33 PM
-1

It is possible to get one required by meeting certain proven criteria but in our case, it wasn’t crucial, more of just a term to concede on and cause an emotional response.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 07:25 PM
0

lol I wish this were more common. It might make things a little more difficult tbh. Also laughing because my attorney also mentioned a psych evaluation, after having read the facts surrounding the divorce initiation. I thought that was bold and awesome of him although we never really pushed for it strongly.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 07:21 PM
3

Ouch. It’s hard not to judge so I’ll just say to take your time and carefully weigh your next few moves in the relationship. I do believe that even with the reverse instance, the female in this relationship would have to heed the same, so I don’t believe this to be a double standard.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 06:21 PM
5

That was the hardest part about my situation as well. I tried every possible means of bringing this up in hopes of having constructive conversations. No matter how I phrased it or approached her she would take it personally that I’d even bring it up. Even when I just started cleaning, she would get so mad because then she “wouldn’t be able to find anything.”
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 06:04 PM
3

YouTube Rachael Sloan She works with divorced men and has some great content that really helped me out of a similar dark spot.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 05:51 AM
8

This is loosely related.. my ex wanted to make me a home cooked meal for my birthday one year. I was trying to tell her let’s go out to a nice steakhouse or something because her cooking was not exactly on point lol. I got my favorite meal— chicken fried steak, but prepackaged microwave oven meal.. 😒 Worst part is she was anxious to see how I liked it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 05:41 AM
11

Thanks for this. As hard as this past year has been for me, this is the thought that keeps me out of liquor stores or the morgue.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 05:37 AM
7

This is awesome! We used to get into so many fights about the cleanliness of the house. She’d make constant excuses. I gave up after she made me read an article that interviewed women saying they gave up trying to clean the house after kids. Without me coming home to clean for two hours after working all day the house became straight up disgusting. I feel badly for my kids but they don’t know any better. Eventually they’ll learn that it’s not healthy and my ex was just lazy. Sorry but in that re…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 05:35 AM
1

I would like to politely disagree with this. I posted a good video in response to op. His take, which I have come to agree with is that if you are marrying someone and you have yet to have the hard conversations with, then you have no business getting married. He likens this to ‘if we were to get into a bad fight, how do you process’… would you like space? Do you want to sit down and iron things out? What’s your fighting style. Similarly, if we were to not make this through and end in divorce, h…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 07:58 PM
6

Watch this before getting married!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5z8-9Op2nM
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 07:54 PM
1

How did you get past that first year?
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 07:22 PM
13

I see the lucky few like you that get out of this unscathed and are able to continue on with your ex in amicable ways. I hope you know what a blessing that is. The rest of us got ambushed by our exes and you have no idea. I’m talking planning a year in advance. My wife agreed on doing things amicably for the kids and then served me papers and my attorney said this proposed decree is the second worst I’ve seen in 20 years. That was followed by allegations, protective order and child abuse claims …
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 06:02 PM
1

And the most messed up part?! She posts on her social media weekly about having boundaries!! Everything she vents to the world about me and accuses me of is stuff that SHE does.. smh. It drives me insane.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 05:44 PM
2

Damn you know my ex???
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 05:43 PM
3

I still hold out hope that my ex and I can get here for my kids’ sake. But she plays games over ANY contact and seems to snowball that into getting others to join in. I’m just done with all the games and drama and don’t wish to leave any fuse out there that she can use.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 05:42 PM
2

I’m in the same boat. We use app close which is free. She’ll post kids schedules on there. I don’t respond directly to her in any way at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 05:40 PM
1

I had the worst outcome in our initial decree. I live in San Antonio and it was the week of a six day party Fiesta. The judge had on her fiesta colors, it was Friday, I swear she was looking down, watching her watch, goading my attorney to hurry up and continually telling us that we are due to be finished by 4:00. She took a week to deliberate and did nothing. She gave my wife everything she asked for. I was an inconvenience to this woman’s party schedule. She weighed nothing, she took no accoun…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 01:54 AM
7

I wish my experiences compelled me to disagree with you. But this is the damn truth.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 11:46 PM
2

Gear up for a fight. More than likely it’s coming. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 09:47 PM
2

She filed a protective order and a child protective case right before our first hearing. They were still pending in the first hearing so yes it was enough. Shortly after both were investigated and dropped but the initial decree orders have yet to be altered.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 12:55 AM
4

I went through this and was given supervised visitation because of her allegations. They came out in the initial hearing and have stuck for the last 7 months. It’s been an absolute mess. I wish someone from the legal system were to see the craziness in her head and suggest a psychological evaluation. My attorney made a motion for one but didn’t fight for it very hard because he was afraid it would just piss her off. Yes he was afraid of her too. Now I’ve hired a female attorney. So here goes.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 11:58 PM
3

Exactly right! But I say let ‘em have the memories. Just mho… in the end it was just our turn with the exes. That’s what it’s all come to.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 11:21 PM
1

You’re 5 years in and it sounds like you’ve figure it out. Good for you. IRL you’re on your first tour. It gets worse.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 11:13 PM
1

I feel ya! I was in much of the same boat. Especially in regards to asking for cooperation. I pleaded with my wife for one thing: let me continue running this business for 90 days so I can see the fruits of everything I JUST reinvested. Nope. She said it was completely unfair for me to ask her of that despite us being separated and having no urgent issues. 2m in yearly revenue GONE. And now she’s filing motion after motion for contempt because I can’t give her her 12k per month anymore. The rest…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 12:30 AM
1

Wow! Her own dad.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 07:45 PM
15

Damn it. Don’t put yourself through this!! What good could come of it. As bad as my divorce has been Im thankful I’m not still living with her
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 06:34 PM
1

I would say go after support from her. It would give just you something else to bargain with. It sounds like you’ll already be starting at a loss. I’ve spent 7 months and 50k plus going from ridiculous allegations back to starting fair and just now beginning or bargain fairly. We’ll see how it goes from here.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 04:13 PM
3

So… is she trying to get full custody or more money or both? As far as countermeasures they know where to throw allegations. It’s in areas that are hard to disprove. All you can do in my experience is inform your attorney so they are ready. You could go on the offensive and sling back. I myself am waiting to go scorched earth with my stbx because I know there’s no turning back and it will only become longer and more costly of a process. So far I’ve taken all of her allegations on the chin. And t…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 02:56 PM
-5

It’s too late. You’re fahked.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 02:46 PM
3

Amen!! And now when she tries to shift blame on me and give me her bs narrative on how bad I was I do the opposite of what I used to do. I say I’m sorry incessantly instead of trying to argue for the truth. This gets her SOOO upset and she piles it on. I ask her what else? And she gets so frustrated to where it looks like her head will spin off. The more I say I’m sorry the more she gets upset. I love it. It gets to the point where she’s almost stressed about what else she can make up to me to c…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 04:59 AM
4

It’s called gaslighting. Oddly enough she told me I was the one doing it to her. It took me a year to realize the truth. She was doing it to me and sitting there accusing me off it. That shit will drive anyone crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 04:51 AM
6

Damn it man that’s such a sad fact.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 04:48 AM
1

The divorce attorneys prey on the emotions of women in my experience. My wife has been through two attorneys. I try to reason with her and say that I would much rather be giving her the 10s of thousands that I’ve paid in attorneys fees for about the same time frame as you have been in it. But she’s convinced that they’re on her side. Meanwhile they tell her not to discuss the case with me and charge her for every text, phone call, email, etc. Divorce attorneys are truly the scum of the earth.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 11:57 PM
5

We’re referring to what women do once they’ve decided they’re done. That’s when things get obscenely polarized.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 11:43 PM
12

2 years ago she posted “I’m so blessed to have the best husband ever” on Facebook with pictures and long story. Fast forward to our first court hearing. My attorney her all of her allegations and issues and asked her..”after 10 years of marriage what good qualities do you see in your husband?” She shrugged her shoulders and said “he made lots of money.”
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 09:47 PM
30

If our exes went around telling people what I great partner we were and everything we did for them, then THEY’D be the bad person with everyone questioning their motives for leaving. So, to prevent being labeled as such they lead with and cling to the worst. This justifies their actions so that others will not pass judgment.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 08:18 PM
4

I’m going on about 50k in with no fair custody in sight. I despise divorce attorneys with every fiber of my being now. They’re truly a mile below the scum of the earth. I did get through to my ex three weeks ago and we outlined reasonable final decree terms. I let go of my attorney as it was the only way that her attorney would see i was serious and only way I’d be able to talk with them. Now we have a hearing Friday and his office will not contact her back or me. I sent multiple emails and left…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 12:04 AM
15

It’s hell on earth. The only way it seems to go smoothly is if you don’t have a house and kids. Be prepared for the dirtiest fight of your life. And this is coming from someone that calmly talked with his ex prior to legal proceedings and we both agreed to do things amicably.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/23 04:29 AM
1

I think the ethics board here is to keep attorneys in line. That may be the only time I’ve heard of anyone interacting with them.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 06:39 PM
1

The only part you’re missing is that I’m currently employed making maybe 1/3 of what I was making. I pleaded with my wife not to take me back, but to prolong this 2-3 months. I had just reinvested a huge sum of money in tooling and labor to increase and stabilize our income for the long run but I had not yet recouped any of that investment. I told her point blank, we are separated, there is no urgent reason that this needs to happen right now—if you give me 3 more months I can pay you whatever y…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 04:22 PM
1

What ethics board?!
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 04:16 PM
1

This is where the courts have left it. I’m stuck with the courts awarding her more than I can afford. So she holds it over my head that I owe her and I need to do what’s right. Meanwhile when I talk of giving her a lump sum (plausible only through a loan from someone I’ve helped out in the past), she softens up and starts talking about days of custody with me. She has me exactly where she wants me. She has to give nothing. I have to give everything. Again, only to get back to fair.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 02:19 PM
1

I’m concerned about this exactly. It’s why I’ve basically put everything in my life but my gym on hold… I just want to sign divorce papers so I can move on. I know without her I’ll be so much more successful in every area. She was a weight for years that I’ll be happy to drop. You’re also the only other guy I’ve seen that mentions the pain of seeing the kids and then saying goodbye. I’ve haven’t seen my kids in person since march. My ex gave me a 2 hr heads up that I could see my kids on my daug…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 02:16 PM
3

You deal with such madness that it drives you nearly mad yourself that others can’t see it in her. And the only hope is recollections like yours. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 12:42 PM
1

Man that’s the outcome that makes me tear up. People say eventually the kids will see her true colors. My wife was honestly a very loving and nurturing companion. Then we had a bout with breast cancer, they did a full mastectomy and gave her hormone blockers because her particular cancer was estrogen receptive. I will never forget the bitch of an oncologist that was so full of herself while running down the ‘game plan’ of treating her cancer. She hastily went through the rounds of chemo, the rou…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 09:39 AM
2

Yeah. I’m at an impasse right now. We settled on an amount for her to get paid in a lump sum. We settled on what I can afford to commit to going forward. She said three weeks ago that she’d schedule a meeting for us to meet with her attorney to go over what needs to be included in the final decree. Shes yet to make that appointment. I rescheduled one hearing already but now it’s crunch time again. I really really do not want to pay another retainer and restart this with another attorney but her …
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 09:25 AM
5

True. Sadly true.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 09:14 AM
1

Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 05:13 AM
2

The judge i got has been on the bench four months. She’d yawn and look at her watch while myself or my male attorney spoke. She’d look painfully concerned whenever my wife or her TWO attorneys made any mention. She actually interrupted my attorney quite a few times to say that she had to be out by 4. She’s bleeds blue all the way, painfully feminist, skewed and it shows all over her social media. Now I have to pay my way back to fair through the courts and so not everyone’s experience in fairnes…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 04:54 AM
1

Yeah if I dump enough money into this and leave us both broke eventually the truth will be extracted from this bottomless pit
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 04:51 AM
1

Trust me. I’d love to spend my time reengaging with my kids. The only reason I focus on building my income and bankroll back is that it seems the only way to win this battle for fair custody. If I pay her more, she’ll let me see them more. She hasn’t been dumb enough to show proof of this but she’s holding the financial support over my head legally very aggressively and it seems that until I can appease her, my custody will remain nil.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 03:38 AM
1

Thanks. I feel like now more than ever the answer to seeing my kids, to being back in theirs lives now rests solely on my ability to get back up off the mat and earn every dollar I can. I didn’t mean to say that that’s why I’m focusing on health and wealth. Shes shown that she’s clearly using my access to the kids in return for me supporting her as if we were still married. It’s very clearly quid pro quo here so that she can continue what she’s done for years—sit on the couch scrolling Facebook …
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 03:36 AM
3

He’s an influencer on YouTube? Any video I should start on??
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 03:31 AM
0

I’m trying to offer her one decent payment—months worth of her expenses in return for more time with the kids and lower monthly support. She goes from being logical to back to warring against me and it’s honestly starving both of us out. I cannot wait to sign divorce papers and she’d be absolutely dead to me aside from scheduling visitation with her to see my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 02:47 AM
2

I’m just trying to funnel my energy and angst into healthy outlets. Health and money seem like the two biggest influencing aspects that could really give me an edge in fighting her in court. I want to outspend her AND show a highly advantageous earning capability to care for my kids versus her meager entry level job history.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 02:44 AM
5

It was court ordered. I got the worst judge in my first hearing.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 02:02 AM
3

Don’t do anything that she can weaponize against you in court!
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 11:37 PM
5

Divorce is usually a woman’s (I say this because 70% initiated by women) emotional response to circumstantial, completely solvable issues.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 11:23 PM
4

“A marriage goes south like people go bankrupt. Very slowly for years and then all at once.” “If you have a toothache and go to the dentist it’s already too late.”
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 04:52 PM
6

Secret to a lasting marriage.. granola @ 17:05
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 04:09 AM
16

And yet they still march out in front of the firing squad. 🤷🏽‍♂️ I’m not against marriage or bitter, and I’d never try to talk my bros out of things. But I have two suggestions and an honest wish of luck. Watch this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5z8-9Op2nM And send a few invitations to local billionaires’ offices. There’s a chance their assistant sends a nice gift in return.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 01:45 AM
3

I sent this to every guy I knew after watching it months ago. Refilling her granola vs bj’s….he last straw, chicken or egg was kind of heartbreaking. Good stuff
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 03:13 AM
2

Get used to writing checks is all I can say. I’m in the same boat. My ex was spending 15k plus per month in the last year of separation leading up to our divorce, mostly on the kids. I don’t know how because she still failed to keep up with the basic utilities. She came into my life with terrible debt from the worst places, and my guess is that no matter how much I give her, she’ll end up right back there financially. It’s a mess that I’ll be burdened with for decades now.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/23 08:38 PM
1

I don’t think us men are ever really going to learn about women. I do know that in the next relationship I will consciously, regularly monitor how we emotionally connect. I feel that this is what went wrong in my marriage. That starts to fade away and conversations become more difficult, empathy backslides, little things linger and go without being discussed. And the next thing you know, the person you loved becomes the one you loathe. Women and men emotionally connect in very different ways so …
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 06:36 PM
1

Sadly it happens everywhere. It can cost us all a lot more than we could ever be fully prepared for. And luckily for many of us those, rough times are blessed by good friends and family. I pray for the rest of us.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 04:58 PM
1

So we don’t think about marriage until we know we’ve found another love that’s deep and lasting this time?
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 04:45 PM
13

The difference is now they kick you out of the house, keep the credit cards, the kids, maybe leave you with 2k if you’re lucky. And they’re justified to do so in the eyes of the courts no matter what kind of husband you are. It’s an emotional decision to what was supposed to be a lifelong commitment through thick and thin.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 06:20 AM
2

Trashy for sure 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 04:03 PM
1

The end is the legal process. It’s what we’ve all gone through. Haven’t seen my kids since April. 10s of thousands in legal fees. Ball not moved one inch. As up in arms as you are with witnessing it, try living it. I’ve had many days of waking up surprised that I’m still breathing because some nights ending my life seems easier. It gets dark and you just endure.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/23 11:22 PM
3

😂😂😂 Obviously divorce for some men can leave some scarring. Also for myself I don’t think I’d every go back. I’m not sure I’d ever even consider marriage again tbh. But results may vary I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 08:03 PM
3

1 in 200 people is a true narcissist! So like .5% of the population. It’s amazing how careless that gets throw around today. I too was totally caught off guard when the gaslighting accusations started getting brought up every time we had an argument.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 02:16 PM
14

My wife spent more time on the couch on fb than ANYTHING else. Just mindless dribbling posts, fighting with people with opposite views, her never ending family drama. It was the worst. One day I posted a picture of her smiling and added my love and admiration and support for her and it got a few hundred likes. She said it was the nicest thing I had done for her. 🤷🏽‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 06:52 PM
1

It would be a dream.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 02:57 AM
2

I also spent the first 6 months paying off her old debts including ridiculous pay day loans with sky high interest and aggressive collections tactics.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 02:41 AM
4

My wife hid two major things! I found out after five years that she smoked meth for two years!!! She didn’t have the sunken face or dental problems.. she was quite attractive. She also moved in with my step son and went off the pill without telling me. Hence my first son. As betrayed as I felt, I was still given my first born so it’s hard to hold this against her. But between these two points and the way divorce has gone I’m not ever looking to get married again. It’s the only failsafe against a…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 02:40 AM
13

You too! I feel like the downfall of all of this was my wife’s therapist. I wish I could sue her(!). All of a sudden I was a narcissist and abusive verbally and financially. My wife stayed at home our entire marriage. I worked 12 hour days. She had cart Blanche with all of my accounts including my business accounts (huge mistake). We went to church, I coached kids teams. I’ve cried in quite a few therapists offices myself and they all absolved me of narcism. I feel like therapists really should …
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 12:58 AM
19

I’m still in the thick of it. We had a second hearing 8 months later. That judge actually heard my side and was empathetic to both. She’s on her second attorney and she’s made two mistakes so far. Apparently her first attorney highly suggested not going after as much as she did. However attorneys being attorneys, once they heard the judges ruling, milked her out of 20k to try and shake me down for money I simply don’t have. I tried to settle with my wife. I even fired my own attorney as an act o…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 12:05 AM
24

I went through very much the same. She fully expects me to support her and the kids as if we are still married @ 12k per month. And now that I’ve fought back (after the initial decree judge awarded her all of that), she’s tells anyone and everyone including the kids about how I’m the asshole for not supporting them. She’s just mad because it’s the first time she’s had to get up on the couch in 15 years tbh. She’s working a shit job. She served me. Serves her right.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 11:46 PM
12

I agree with everything here (aside from marriage going away)!! I’m going to leave this right here just for you fine gents. It made me laugh, start to tear up, think, and reminisce… https://youtu.be/o5z8-9Op2nM?si=mKWv2Bey0EOgdfDZ
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 10:30 PM
1

I hear you. I’ve put my life on hold because I really figured it would be all finalized by now. I also didn’t want to start a new business venture while still married 😦
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 04:07 PM
3

Thanks. Unfortunately I think us rational men facing divorce are in the minority.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 04:29 AM
3

Thanks man. I need every ounce of help I can get. I don’t want to give up on my kids but she’s been winning fighting that dirty fight. It’s been hard to handle.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 04:13 AM
3

I used to think Mel Gibson lethal weapon was just a scene for added drama. Now I know it’s the real deal of missing a marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 04:05 AM
2

Dang you reached that same place huh. Life can be rebuilt. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 11:48 PM
5

Man I can’t thank you enough. I’ve had the same thought that my ex brought out the worst in me. I never had the relationships I wanted with my kids. To think that they could know the real me without her erratic actions effecting me would be tremendous. I look forward to that time in my life.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 09:44 PM
2

I hope that you have someone to talk with. I’ve at least found that.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 09:35 PM
3

Thanks man. Good luck to you
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 07:52 PM
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