| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 243 | Boundaries with male friends and pickmes not having any | RANT | Ok-Yogurtcloset3467 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/11/21 10:23 PM |
| 130 | Erotica and Romance Books | DISCUSSION | Ok-Yogurtcloset3467 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/21 02:44 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 8 | Are You Having FDS Website issues....?Completely agree and at a time when FDS was growing extremely fast | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/22 01:09 PM |
| 9 | Are You Having FDS Website issues....?I miss having FDS on here. And I miss this community | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/22 01:09 PM |
| 6 | One of the best break downs of the minds of men who watch porn. Protect your peace and protect your wombs ladies. #AllmenWow. This is the perfect example | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/22 07:23 AM |
| 158 | How do you handle the "I'm a virgin" talk with guys?I find this really comforting. I'm a virgin in my 20s and I've always wondered how I would navigate the awkwardness when sex comes up. This definitely helps manage my expectations if and when this talk ever occurs. I'll embrace the awkwardness and definitely stand my ground on all my standards | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/04/22 05:17 PM |
| 6 | “If Beyoncé can get cheated on, then there’s no hope for us” is a cope, not the standard.That song is the definition of one step forward, two steps back when it comes to female empowerment | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 10:20 AM |
| 25 | Straight from the horses mouth. NEVER share your past relationship trauma/problems with men because they will hold it against you. How poorly you were treated by men in the past will either make him resent you or he will use it as a bar for how much you are willing to put up with.I completely agree. In his mind he is the "good guy". He's acting as though he doesn't understand what hes feeling but I think he does. He just wants others (men) to validate his feelings and agree his gf has devalued herself. I'm sure upon receiving that validation he will feel he can stop treating her so well or break up wih her. Either way he knows he doesn't respect her and he knows why but he still calls himself a good guy - this is not him acknowledging how the patriarchy has messed with h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/22 04:14 PM |
| 14 | Straight from the horses mouth. NEVER share your past relationship trauma/problems with men because they will hold it against you. How poorly you were treated by men in the past will either make him resent you or he will use it as a bar for how much you are willing to put up with.He feels like she isn't deserving of him because of the way men have treated her It's funny how he's making it seem like there's some depth to what he's feeling. No, it's the same mindset as the men who slut shame women. He is simply not a good guy and he does not respect women, especially his partner | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/22 04:07 PM |
| 55 | BBC: "As many as 1 in 3 couples deal with financial infidelity." Don't let it be you--your financial vetting should be your strongest vettingWhat an absolute piece of shit | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/22 07:46 PM |
| 47 | When rape so normalised that girls joke about it happening to themWelp this made me sad | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/22 11:44 AM |
| 28 | What do we think about a man wanting to be treated like a trophy wife?Tell him the house must be kept spotless at all times. And he must also double as your own personl assistant and manage your social calender as well as all the family needs | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/22 11:43 AM |
| 42 | Don't cry, beg or show emotion or over communicate. State what you want then leave when it's not met. Men enjoy the begging, crying and emotional outbursts because they know this means you're wrapped around their finger and will stay. It is a massive ego boost for them to have that power over youThey won't change and if they change it's usually for the next woman I would even go so far as to say they dont change full stop. It's not a matter of their feelings being stronger for the next woman so they're motivated to do better. They just learn what behaviours women want to see and mimic that but even then they can only do it for so long before they break character. Another reason not to leave him a paragraph telling him what he did wrong, only teaches him what not to be seen doing next ti… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/22 01:14 AM |
| 7 | Even tho you know they’re LVM and don’t want to be with them…Absolutely agree. I find that consuming certain entertainment or entertaining men who don't meet my standards or treat me less than I deserve (and that includes family) sets me back and I use this community to ground myself. I'm coming to realise that becoming a HVW may be a lifelong process. It's so hard to unlearn all the things we were taught to be. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/22 08:39 PM |
| 22 | Tonight is the night…Don't hope. Make it one of our boundaries for men. If you feel nervous for any reason by his reaction to a game, cut him off | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/22 07:00 PM |
| 9 | How'd You Find FDS?I'm pretty sure it was recommended to me because I followed a lot of hard-core feminist subs. FDS instantly clicked with me and for days after I was reading everything that I could find. It just amazed me that there were women like this in this day and age. I felt validated and empowered | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/22 06:58 PM |
| 52 | Heartbreaking. Wife wants to spend time with lv hubby v-day weekend, gets ignored. He admits he’s trash but doesn’t want her with another manBreaks my heart to see so many women in relationships and so alone. You'd feel more loved if you were single than if you were waiting for a LVM to love you back. Also this isn't a case of whether or not he loves her. He doesn't respect her and that's what it usually comes down to | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/22 06:55 PM |
| 63 | I may already know a high value man. I just wasn’t healthy enough to notice it.It really is so incredible that you're reprogramming yourself to want better | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/22 06:45 PM |
| 29 | Say it with me: I will not be disrespected againI've learnt that your ability to enforce your boundaries with men and walk away when they disrespect that is just a small piece of the picture. How you value yourself in every relationship in your life will translate into your romantic life. And honestly all those other relationships are more important and say more about you. I've had to detach from friends and my own mother for this reason. It's honestly so painful and do gt filled with self doubt. But I feel so much stronger and confident in a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/22 06:43 PM |
| 106 | He’s picky af! 7-8ths are only for banging not love.Oh definitely. Most men instantly devalue a woman who they don't feel they had to "earn" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/22 11:47 AM |
| 9 | "I'm feeling blamed"Him saying you drank too muh when you know you didn't and blaming that for your warranted reaction to being called dumb by your boyfriend. That man is textbook abusive. He is refusing to take responsibility. Labelling you as crazy, irresponsible and out of control and making you feel unsure about your reality by gaslighting you. Making you want to be smaller next time and less embarrassing or emotional - basically whatever he wants you to be. This man hates you. He had no respect for you and wan… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/22 08:14 PM |
| 182 | So done with avoidant men.The moment I realised the lengths a HVM will go to make sure a woman he's interested in feels that interest and feels secure is the moment I realised how relatively easy it is to cut out a large proportion of men in the dating scene. A man who tries to triangulate you with another women, doesn't respond the texts or call back, tells you he wants to "see where it goes", they're all coming from the same place and that is they're not serious and don't respect you/women. As you've said not being sur… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/01/22 10:46 PM |
| 1 | Pursuing men never ends well from the women's perspectiveThis is genuinely so beautiful. And I think it may have caused me to reevaluate each crush I've had in the past | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 12:22 AM |
| 11 | cringe Slate post on 50/50I simply wouldn't want my white friends to pay for me when we go out. Its wierd. Why would he try and compare dating to friendship? What you expect from a man you're dating is and should be different from what you expect from a woman you're friends with. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 10:39 AM |
| 24 | Story TimeStop trying. Stop trying to be a good person (and don't think that will automatically make you into an awful one we've been so conditiond to be kind that you'll have to or at being th opposite. Stop trying to communicate. Stop trying to understand. And stop trying to educate a grown man how to reciprocate in a relationship or as an adult. Also we've all had that relationship or maybe multiple where we didn't enforce our boundaries. So don't be too hard on yourself. Just don't date til you can | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 10:14 AM |
| 8 | what happens when you initiafe contact even onceYou're being too hard on yourself. You didn't mess up. You did follow the handbook, except there was never any point in you going out with them in the first place because it doesn't sound like you were attracted to him and it sounds like he wore you down. But you didn't mess up by asking him out after 3 dates. This is why we vet because men switch up. Or they show they're true self only after a certain point. You're not responsible for that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 09:15 AM |
| 30 | what happens when you initiafe contact even onceAgreed. Also reaching out for a fourth date after he has taken the initiative by planning and approaching you for the first three isn't desperate. And its not against the FDS handbook. Hes the pos. You should be able to bring up another date without risking it all. You don't need to gain respect from these men. And you can never lose their respect, simply because they never respected you from the beginning. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 09:12 AM |
| 7 | 👀I definitely agree with you. Most romance novels do not depict healthy, loving and equal relationships. It teaches young women, especially teenage girls to put men on a pedestal and romanticise subpar man and relationships. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/21 12:41 PM |
| 7 | If it’s true it’s sad :(Women should snoop. They should snoop throughly for their peace of mind, safety and so they don't waste time on men that don't make the cut. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/21 01:50 PM |
| 21 | The Realities of Age Gap RelationshipsBlock and delete. I highly doubt that he will actually commit suicide due to you choosing to cut him ot of your life. And if he unfortunately does that is not your fault or your responsibility. If you feel it would be, it might be helpful to seek therapy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/21 12:46 PM |
| 36 | They condition you young.In all honesty this just highlights one reason girls do better in schools without boys. Every study shows the exact same, girls succeed in education when boys aren't around but boys do better when girls are around. Which is honestly true in every other aspect of life too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/12/21 10:02 PM |
| 18 | Pick me! I’m cool! I don’t need a man to put in effort! Pick me!!The thing is I'm sure most women are like this. We all have our own lives and don't want to center them around a man. We're fed the marrative that most women are toxic, demanding and not understanding. That's untrue. We're not being "not like other girls" when we compromise, women know how to do that. What's bs about that narrative is it pushes young women to hink they have to take it a step further to really prove they are oh so understanding. A man cancels over and over again and that's fine. … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 11:57 AM |
| 5 | Erotica and Romance BooksI might actually do this. It sounds so fun and I've been needing an extra hobby Plus it will be so helpful in really getting me to define what a healthy relationship and sex life should look like | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/21 02:11 PM |
| 243 | Pursuing men never ends well from the women's perspectiveI wish I had known how depressing and bad for our self esteem it is to have a crush and pursue them. I have in the past even confessed my feeling for a crush. Its shameful stuff that thankfully I can laugh about Now I know crushes are the result of society encouraging women to put men on a pedestal. Most people I know who have crushes like men who have done the bare minimum, I'm talking they smiled at them in a cute way or got them a coffee without asking. Crushes in general are a waste of time.… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/21 11:56 AM |
| 14 | Men telling on themselves on OLD, exhibit AI am so sick of the glorification of the 'dad bod'. All it is is a man who has let himself go when he has the testosterone going for him, the increased muscle mass, the fact that his body never had to experiment major changes via pregnancy or breastfeeding etc. They have everything they need to get and stay fit for a long time and stil they fail and then we glorify it. I'm disgusted | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/21 11:45 AM |
| 12 | Pickme “cool girl” mother is addicted to smoking till this day because of NVMYes. I had a friend who started excessively smoking for a man. Thankfully he was trash who left her and she stopped. And my sister has a friend who was this intelligent, beautiful woman who spoke 4 languages fluently at 20 who got pregnant by a LVM who doesn work and has 2 baby mamas. She's high all the time and lost so much weight. Their home is full of smoke always. Its horrifying the downward trajectory your life can take if you entertain the wrong man and make the wrong choices. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/21 11:36 AM |
| 58 | TW: sexual assault - So basically if they were the last two people on Earth, he's gonna assault her to reproduce. Most of the comments are just supporting his "point," and some are shaming the woman for not wanting to have sex with him.I've heard men give this argument so many times. I don't even know why it comes up - it's so horrifying and irrelevant. I truly think they say it to engage with their fantasy of raping a woman with no consequences. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/21 11:30 AM |
| 12 | This is why we block and delete, it’s as much about preventing our own harmful acts in a moment of weakness.A bit annoyed that someone exposed her like this. This woman needs therapy not to be a laughingstock. I'm surprised she hasn't got friends and family that didn't hold her back from doing this. Although usually by the time someone gets to this point of delusion they have isolated themselves from the people close to them | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/21 11:23 AM |
| 6 | Just broke up with a sweet, funny, kind and attentive guy, because he works a minimum wage jobYou absolutely do not need to justify why you require a man with ambition who is earning a decent amount compared to you. Not here and not anywhere really. You could've said he has everything going for him except he doesn't drive and that would've been reason enough if that's something you want in a man. There is never any need to date down anyway. Especially not that far down. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/21 11:17 AM |
| 7 | Erotica and Romance BooksI've definitely been making an effort to branch out further. But thanks for giving me some authors to look into, it might get easier from there | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/21 11:02 PM |
| 2 | Falling in love should be a stress-free experience for youI feel like I had an 'a-ha!' moment when I learnt this through the handbook. Dating should be fun. Having a man in your life should make it better. Falling in love should make you feel good about yourself. I never realised before how much I had romanticised toxicity and chasing after a man. It's disgusting and a lie. Love should be so easy and fun and there's so many young women being taught otherwise and I'm convinced it's why they stick around when the man starts showing abusive tendencies. Th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/21 01:26 PM |
| 15 | Do not let this mentality make you more susceptible to manipulation, gaslighting, and other forms of abuse. You do NOT need to ‘see things from his perspective’. All you need is block & delete!Very true. You aren't tied/invested to this individual even if you think you are - and if you are already then overhand done something wrong | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/21 01:07 PM |
| 24 | If his friends are LV, then he’s a LVMThe idea that you don't choose your family is bs. Sure biologically they're your family. But the older you get the more co trol you have over every single person you choose to socialise with and share your life with. If your doing it with homophobic, racist, sexist or just awful people because they're your family, then you've still made a choice. Your issue isn't that you're too loyal. It's that being a prejudiced prick isn't a hard line for you when it comes to your friendship. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/21 01:04 PM |
| 13 | What theme would you like to see displayed more in movies?Basically less unnecessary female nudity. Slowly but surely this has become a trigger for me. I hate the casual way naked female bodies are paraded on screen. The epitome of objectification. It would be great to see so much less | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/21 12:58 PM |
| 13 | What theme would you like to see displayed more in movies?Exactly why I really enjoy Grace and Frankie. Anything where older women are portrayed as successful, independent, sexy, fun, wise but silly too is so rare to find. I don't want to see them be the witty but sidelined character, I want them to be actual people. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/21 12:56 PM |
| 9 | What theme would you like to see displayed more in movies?Really nontoxic relationships. Where both are committed to making life easier for the other and just loving them. And struggle love is not glorified. I was trying to explain to others what I meant when I said I wanted a passionate relationship where the passion was based on loving each other too much constantly, not on a rollerocater of emotion and I struggled to explain it. Because it's so rarely seen in the media that its hard to imagine. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/21 12:52 PM |
| 15 | See how he treats his family, especially the womenThis is a good one. Although some LVM can treat every other women in his life like gold except his partner. But usually entitlement will show in their behaviour wih women to some degree. Does he help clean up when you visit his mum or sisters? Does he arrange to visit or just wait for them to make contact? Does he immediately offer to help out when he heara they're struggling with something? If he's entitled even slightly with family, you're getting it worse in time. Most LVM men give themselves… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/11/21 02:26 PM |
| 2 | I see posts like this weekly - thank god the comments unanimously say GTFO ASAP. But how heartbreaking that this woman WITH AN MBA has resorted to CAMMING and is putting up with this for some scrote she's dated for 5 WHOLE MONTHS?!?!?!??!Hes abusive and he gets off on intimidating and scaring her. He couldnt even wait longer than 5 months before he stopped love bombing her. What a freak. I hope she has friends or family she can move in with immediately. But I'm pretty sure she'll give him another chance sadly and won't tell anyone she actually knows what he does to her | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/11/21 02:07 PM |
| 80 | Is this a red flag?I have a brother who would do the same. And I plan on warning every woman he dates that they are signing up for a lifetime of being a mummy bangmaid. Yes it is a massive red flag | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/11/21 11:41 AM |
| 1 | Complimenting other women - red flag?I don't know if its an outright red flag. Its definitely more red than green though. Does he speak of other female celebs or women in general like that? Does he always feel the need to mention their beauty? Does he get even slightly vulgar when talking about it? Is it only women whose attractiveness he needs to point out ie he can't acknowledge a woman's talent unless she's attractive? And most importantly how do you feel about it? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 04:05 PM |
| 17 | How big of an age gap in relationships is acceptable?I'm early 20s and 2 years is my max in either direction. As I get older I'm sure it will get older. But i don't see myself ever wanting anything to do with a man over 5 years older than me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 03:58 PM |
| 14 | Pick me gf and pornsick bf vibesI had to read it twice over. I thought "no way that's his main concern." He doesn't give a shit about her. It makes me sad she's sharing her body with a man who clearly dislikes her | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/11/21 12:33 PM |
| 8 | The Female Dating Strategy Podcast: EP. 37 - Body Shaming Men For Their Own GoodMe neither but I can't stop thinking about it now | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/11/21 06:59 PM |
| 104 | Tropes I’m tired ofWoman with mental/health issues finding purpose with a man. Women falling in love wih the man who treats them like shit but actually "really loves her" Man cheats and she forgives him. Hate it Relationship is struggling because hes a lazy POS. But they "both" realise they have to change and work at he relationship. We all know she was always working on that relationship The gold digger trope. We all know there are m awful men who will rob a woman of everything she has, including her sanity and y… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/11/21 06:58 PM |
| 48 | Tropes I’m tired of"Powerful" women who (a) use magic, or (b) have tiny non-muscular arms and wispy builds but the martial skills to take down armed, trained, dangerous teams of men twice their size despite not being armed or wearing body armor (which, really, is also magic if you think about it). Didn't realise I hated this till you pointed it out. Also didn't realise how common it is. Women are never portrayed as strong, in any way. Even when it doesn't male sense for them not to be | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/11/21 06:49 PM |
| 3 | Your commitment/attention should be hard-earned by men who want to court you.Definitely something I struggle with myself. I know how I need to act around men for my own safety and mental health. But I revert to being kind as soon as they seem somewhat OK. I'm getting better but damn it's hard | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/11/21 06:39 PM |
| 12 | Importance of political beliefs?Its important to me. It's one of the things I look for in a man. He can't be religious in any way. He shouldn't be particularly political either. It's all off putting to me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/11/21 08:10 PM |
| 5 | Carole Baskins husband is alive!! She has been going through an ordeal with Netflix who willfully and maliciously misrepresented her in the Netflix "documentary". She has had to deal with too much bullshit and the real sicko who tried to murder her is in prison(good riddance). Hope she wins!Agreed. I don't think every women can be defended. And while Carol is better by comparison against Joe and that other poly weirdo. She is not a great woman. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/11/21 12:16 PM |
| 1 | Men rarely think they are the problemI think its a mix. Some men aren't aware. And some men are. I've spoken to a lot of men about the way society/men treat women. I've given them examples in their own behaviour showing how they objectify and devalue women. And their response ultimately comes down to "I don't care, because it doesn't hurt me." They won't use those words but that's what they're saying when they say "women should just change if they don't like the way things are" or "this country is still so much better than anywhere… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/11/21 09:48 PM |
| 5 | FDS when you're down on your looksId say you don't have to look better. Not at all. You should feel better though. Work on improving your self esteem before you enter the dating pool. Only because its the only way you will not given and lower your standards. And scrotes will work hard to try and ruin your self esteem - it doesn't help if it's already low | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/11/21 05:26 PM |
| 69 | Red flags and alarm bells are sounding when I saw this. What in the pickmeverse is this?!This woman doesn't know her worth, same with every other pickme. I have to laugh. She really thinks she's the "cool girlfriend" when she's really just allowing the minimum amout of loyalty and respect on his side so he'll stick around. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/21 10:21 PM |
| 96 | "Hyosung (Korean idol/celebrity) targeted at anti-feminist protests after participating in campaign against dating violence"I always thought that, if feminism isn't making men angry, it's being done wrong. That made me think a bit. It definitely encapsulates a big reason why libfem doesn't seem to be distinctive or powerful. More power to Korean feminists for refusing to compromise on their ideals especially since their entire system/ideology is still set up to be more sexist than most Western ones. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/21 10:06 PM |
| 22 | Saw this on r/confessions... This is why I don't do FWBI can guarantee those women are not attracted to him. They've just convinced themselves that because they don't meet the bs beauty standards for women they shouldn't expect to be attracted to the men they fuck. Plus they've fallen for the thing that gets hammered into women's head: mens looks don't matter 🤮 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/21 03:47 PM |
| 152 | How long to wait for men to reply? (Busy career-oriented men)Let’s say things with out with a busy career-oriented man, what kind of relationship do you want? That's a really good mindset. Its not like he's going to change (if he really is that busy). The relationship would consist of little moments here and there. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/21 09:58 AM |
| 3 | Karen has just become another word for “Bitch” and we all know it.I came to the same realisation with Cody Ko over time. I only started watching him 2 years ago and I watched his older stuff mostly. But he's changed very quickly. Or I have and I noticed that I'm not comfortable with the slight ways he and Noel talk about women and porn. And everything really, they're the male stereotype I don't like. Serves me right for trying to watch more male YouTubers. I'm yet to find one I really like and respect | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/11/21 01:52 PM |
| 9 | I know a pickme had to swipe right on him. 🤮This again goes to show men are not funny | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/11/21 12:32 PM |
| 62 | Do not let men of color triangulate you against women of colorI actually think it's really good to see white women waking up to this issue. Black men are more likely to date outside their race than any other. So maybe you aren't seeing BM who pursue white women but they're there. And whilst it's not a bad thing. I personally don't care. I think a growing number of black men don't treat black women well overall anyway. White women should be aware that some of these men are trying to triangulate them with women of their own race. They are being fetishized. I… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/11/21 10:49 AM |
| 36 | Do not let men of color triangulate you against women of colorIt's why I'm so put off dating as a whole sometimes. I don't want to be a consolation prize for a man of my own race or living up to a fantasy for a porn addicted man who thinks black women=wild in bed. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/11/21 10:13 AM |
| 85 | Do not let men of color triangulate you against women of colorAnd this is how the stupid "Karen" thing grew. Demonising any aggression in white women. It's been done for years to black women. And it is beginning to happen with white women. It's all bs by men who want to to control women | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/11/21 10:06 AM |
| 16 | Is Taylor Swift a “Forever Girlfriend”There was no purpose in Ariana marrying. She just did it. And just because she did is not a sign that's its a high value relationship. At all. The two were together for less than than year before they got engaged. And seeing how celeb marraiges go, I wouldn't surprised if it didn't last very long and ended in a nasty divorce where her money is at risk. Wealthy women have little reason to marry, especially a poorer man. In fact, I can't think of one proper reason they should get married . Everyth… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/11/21 09:58 AM |
| 29 | Is marriage always a good idea for a woman with assets?If I had money I would never marry. I'm not wealthy now and I believe marraige isn't in women's best interests usually. If I was as rich as the Kardashians, I'd do a Kylie and have kids with a guy and feel comfortable being on and off with him. Marraige really is set up to be a protection for women. If you don't need it, don't do it because that protection so easily becomes a barrier. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/11/21 10:15 PM |
| 24 | Saw my best friends married and currently going through IVF, uncle on tinder.Second this. Definitely ask friends. Especially the ones who are single and using dating apps already, that way no extra work is involved from them. Let them know if they ever see your partner on there to tell you. And maybe your partners close friends if she knows them. He likely knows his friend is cheating and I would want to see if he excuses it or has distances himself from the friend. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/11/21 12:44 PM |
| 14 | “Never tell men about your trauma”I agree. The trauma does not define you and they're not ashamed talking points. So there's no need to talk about it beyond your therapy sessions. I actually feel most time people tell trauma, they do it to bond. And I don't think its healthy of necessary. Anytime you do bring it up, it should be completely optional. Not because you feel a relationship requires it to be strong or because someone has shared their trauma. Just like another commenter said. I have friends who I've sat with as they've… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/11/21 12:21 PM |
| 5 | Guy I was talking to defends his misogynistic comments and covers them up as banter and jokes with his friends and tells me if I won’t accept him then to leave which I did. I can’t accept him for who he is because I don’t reward pornsick, misogynistsI feel like he wanted the last word by being the one to stop responding first. Next time don't give them the satisfaction, just block after calling him out. No convo needed. Better yet don't tell him why. It only shows him what women dont want to see so he knows exactly how to fake it with the next woman. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 02:20 PM |
| 8 | Am I codependent or do I have a strong intuition?OK well maybe give it some time. If you can honestly say he's putting effort into making you feel secure and like there depth to your relationship, go with it. Obviously in the long run if your feelings don't change, leave. Even if you really feel like it's just you. It's probably a sign you need to work on how you percieve romantic relationships and yourself before you date someone. Which is fine, we all have things we need to work on. In all honesty, I don't feel comfortable telling a woman he… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 02:14 PM |
| 14 | Boundaries with male friends and pickmes not having anyI told her the exact same. She didn't believe me but I'm pretty sure he'll make a move on her as soon as he's bored with his girlfriend or its over. I'm just sad that she might entertain it | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 02:04 PM |
| 16 | Should I tell my boyfriend (very recent), that I am not sure if I want to get married or have kids?I think let him know. I'm on the fence about kids myself (although not so much on the fence as know I will never want a child but scared to commit to that). It's such a big thing that its worth letting him know. It's not too early. I would be a little concerned about his response but its no loss for you if he goes. There are men who do not want children. I think a more important question is if ou would stay with him if he did want kids? One of you would end up sacrificing your dreams for yoursel… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/11/21 08:53 PM |
| 47 | Am I codependent or do I have a strong intuition?Trust yourself. Women have amazing intuition and we get told we're overanlysing things when we use it. Follow your intuition. Also do you have this feeling with every other new relationship in your life. It's unlikely to be you if the empty feeling only occurs after you hang out with him and not others. And be a bit cautious of a man who excuses his behaviours by claiming its due to past relationships scarring him without actively trying to change their behaviour with you. You've told him how sh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/11/21 03:37 PM |
| 62 | Is it a red flag if he kisses you on the first date without asking first?Personally yes. I wouldn't want to be kissed on a first date. And I appreciate when men are too nervous on a first date to even consider making a move. They shouldn't feel comfortable enough to kiss you especially without knowing if you want them to because you haven't given consent. Honestly imo a great first date is completely non sexual. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/11/21 10:17 AM |
| 19 | I relapsedI've been in your place. Having to rebuild yourself after you debased yourself for a man and didn't even realise it at the time. It's sad. And it's frustrating. Because you know better rhan to let a man or anyone have such an impact on your self worth. And when you look back on the choices you made, you feel so stupid. But at least you aren't consoling yourself by telling yourself "it was worth it because you loved him" ect. There's so many ways to heal and process after a man fucks with you but… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 08:31 PM |
| 20 | Not to be a downerI wouldn't give up. I think people are right when they say to get excited at the thought of being alone - because even if you find a HVM they should be an accessory to an already substantial life. However people do find HVM. Doesn't mean they'll stay that way forever but that's not necessary anyway. They're hard to find. But they're out there. Just got to meet more people and get better at vetting | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 03:57 PM |
| 207 | Hookup culture is a scamThe younger generation are having less and less sex. But they keep trying to brainwash young women into hooking up with any and everything by pushing the narrative that there is a whole sex crazed movement going on and you're the only one not involved. Its sold as liberating and the peak of femininity when it's anything but. Its a shame so many women have to try it out before they realise all it leaves you with is dissatisfaction and low self esteem. I tried it once and I still feel disappointed… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 02:40 PM |
| 66 | Please don’t idealise men from other culturesI've seen this alot recently with Korean men. I'm a fan of a kpop group so it's everywhere I look. I hear "they're kinder," "they're less racist," "they're more respectful," "they're funnier." I guess every generation has a type of men that they romanticise. And each time they're sold as something different from the rest But you're right, speak to the women of that race or demographic and its so clear that they're just a different shade or misogynistic. For example there's an epidemic of men ins… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 01:27 PM |
| 11 | What are the red flags that it’s emotional abuse?I left a high control religious group which has ostracised me upon leaving. And I can understand having leftover issues that don't leave on their own. However thats why you work on yourself, seek therapy, find people going through similar experiences, do a lot of solo work to heal and don't date till you feel like you're in a healthy place. I'm guessing this man did none of that. You were probably his main source of emotional support or person to vent or get mad at when he thought of his past ex… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 01:02 PM |
| 15 | Any career-focused ladies have dating advice?This is so encouraging to read as someone who doesn't really ever intend to use OLD or seek a relationship in any other way beyond joining groups and clubs to just meet more people in general. It sounds like it happened really naturally. And he pursued you which is essential | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 12:47 PM |
| 5 | Was approached by a man in a parking lot. How to navigate in future?I would have acted the same as you. Not that it's the safest way to behave. But the suddenness and the fear I would have felt would have made me engage with him longer than I should. But everyone is right. The conversation should've been much shorter. And you shouldn't have told him what time you went. Basically you should have lied like you would have when a man asks if you're home alone. Tell a few people irl about what happened for your safety. If you see the car again, get their number plate… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 12:17 PM |
| 4 | Share your experiences with violent homeless men. I'll start: he punched me in the face on public transport...I had one make tongue gestures at me when I was around 12 and out with my mum. I had another come real close to me tell me to come spend time with him. I said no and moved away and he followed and kept saying "you know you want to". And this one wasn't directed at me. But I saw one man follow another woman into a store. He was being awful to her. Just so rude. And she wasn't even looking at him, she looked scared. I had to go up to her and ask her if she was OK. He got aggressive with me and the… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 11:24 AM |
| 44 | JFC. Men: she cares more about material things more than me. Also men: I had to buy a bed frame to get laid.You're 100% right that refusing to have sex is not a weapon. It's never a weapon. It's why these same men will break down when women don't have sex with when they buy them a few drinks. It's all about entitlement. In their mind they are so entitled to everything a woman has. Every single thing. And it frustrates them to no end that there is one thing that women can offer them, that they can't just get freely. Sex. So when women don't immediately lie down and spread their legs whenever they want;… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/11/21 09:36 PM |
| 38 | "Good friend" sent me a dick pic "accidentally". He has a great partner too. Let this be a lesson to me for trying to play it cOoL instead of going nuclear at the first message.Block, delete, send to his gf. In my opinion that's the only action. This man is not your friend. He wants to fuck you and make you his side piece while he keeps his girlfriend. He does not respect you. For the sake of the girlfriend make her aware of this. He is going to cheat on her. It won't be you. But he will find another woman. He is a scrote who is not good enough to be in the company of any woman. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/11/21 08:57 PM |
| 72 | JFC. Men: she cares more about material things more than me. Also men: I had to buy a bed frame to get laid.This is why men think its evil when women use sex as a weapon. Because it works. They hate seeing women enforce their boundaries | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/11/21 08:42 PM |
| 34 | Man hides 14 y/o daughter from fiancé for the entire duration of the relationship. Either he was trying to have two separate families ,or he was trying to trap her into supporting the daughter. Something malicious is at play.She needs to accept that its all been a lie. And this has not been one of the healthiest and committed relationships she's been in | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/11/21 01:22 AM |
| 4 | It's perfectly fine for you to vocalize how dope you are!Sure, humility is a good quality. So is being kind to men. But there's no reason to tell women to make sure to be kind to men because women are too kind already. We're in no danger of being too mean. Same with humility. The most humble people are women. In fact in media, men go out of their way to portray the most attractive kind of women as being the ones who don't know they're beautiful and would never accept a compliment. Women are taught from birth to be humble. It is so unnecessary to keep … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/11/21 01:20 AM |
| 7 | It's perfectly fine for you to vocalize how dope you are!I would say the great majority of women are in no danger of being too arrogant so there's no need to remind women to be humble. Also I've never heard a man be described as arrogant and full of himself. His huge ego is attractive because he's a man. But a woman with an ego is delusional and deserves to be humbled. Its bs | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/11/21 07:36 PM |
| 3 | The Guide to Being Approved (ie, Getting a Flair)I was somewhat new to reddit and dm'd for a flair, not knowing that there might be a reason I wasn't getting one or that there was a process. I apologise, I had no idea. I hope it doesn't affect me getting assigned a flair eventually | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/11/21 07:00 PM |
| 4 | Do not project your moral compass and attitudes onto men - you will lose every time.Your last line is powerful and so true | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/11/21 04:03 PM |
| 85 | Reminder: it's an admission of fear when men try and pit women against each otherI've heard a lot of men say women doesn't like each other. And I always wonder what they're basing it off. They've never watched a bunch of women interact let alone a friend group. It makes them feel superior to think women can't get along wih each other but men can. Meanwhile men all through time and all over the planet kill everything that moves, including each other. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/11/21 03:31 PM |
| 1 | reminder. none of us like this. but...(if you are serious about wanting a relationship with a quality man) you HAVE to meet a lot of men 🤢. finding hvm involves luck. if you go on as many dates as possible 😢you will increase your bleak, terrible odds.Make more female friends and have them set you up or take you along to group outings where you can meet other guys. Idk OLD isn't for me either and I turn down every man that has approached me because I'm not attracted to them. If you find another way let me know too | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/11/21 05:54 PM |
| 25 | How can I help a friend with absolutely zero self esteem?Invite her to check out this sub? It sounds like there's not much you can do beyond throwing pieces of advice at her that she must already know at her core. It's not really your role as a friend to build her self esteem for her. You can only help her when's she's ready to do it herself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/21 10:49 PM |
| 15 | Why Being Called "Wife Material" or "Girlfriend Material" Isn't Always a Compliment, Especially If It's Said To You By An LVM - A lot of the times, they are projecting qualities like unwarranted excessive deference, humility, obedience, bangmaid duties onto their "ideal" wife or girlfriendShes 100% correct | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/21 06:20 PM |
| 976 | “Men aren’t loved unconditionally, women are”That was attractive. I guess I should include in my list of standards: a man who gets angry at other men and their lack of moral compass, entitlement and values. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/21 06:20 PM |
| 15 | Bikini waxing?I don't wax or anything. Unless it's a hot summer and I'm feeling grimy because of the extra hair then I'll trim. I probably shave twice a year wjen I can be bothered. How a woman presents herself isn't an FDS issue, it depends on your reasonings and values behind it. L Although it's really hard to separate men from that. So I'd advise that if in doubt about whether this is what you want, do the opposite of what society/men want for a time. Try it out and see if you feel more yourself or empower… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/11/21 10:47 AM |
| 79 | Weight neggingThey aren't even subtle. My sister had a date who literally said "wouldn't it be fun if you weighed yourself?" He got the scale and weighed her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 12:04 AM |
| 34 | I wouldn't touch that guy with a ten foot stick after he pulled this kind of shit. He agrees to pay first date if she pays for the next, she ends up being footed with a bill 4x what he paid.I've heard a lot of stories from friends of men who have done this with them. A lot. Every date where he pays is cheap, basic and not even filling with some other free activity taking up most of the date like a walk or visiting a museum. But when it's her time to pay, it's expensive restaurants where he orders everything he can and orders some food he's never had to try it out. And all my friends don't allow themselves to believe he's doing it on purpose. Because they believe men are stupid and … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/10/21 05:11 PM |
| 1 | What are some vetting strategies to ensure a man won’t turn like this on you after giving birth?Honestly sounds like she has had to be the constantly happy and agreeable girl before then. Once you have a child, it's impossible to maintain that facade. Vet by being disagreeable. Challenging his views. Having off days. Being somewhat MIA for a few weeks because you're ill or working or whatever. Even just pretend at having a sore ankle but needing your shoelaces tied and assistance walking. How does he respond to challenges in the relationship, times when he needs to be a caregiver or carry … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/10/21 01:08 AM |
| 36 | “But I love casual sex. I have a high sex drive and I don’t want a loving relationship.”Agreed. I'm glad I did it because it gave me first hand experience of why hookup culture sells a lie to women (and men too really) I still think about the fact that I didn't even orgasm but I let someone use my body to get off. It's a degrading thought. And it 100% teaches men (that are already so entitled about women's bodies) that they have the right to date women with the sole intention of receiving sex, lowering the calibre of men for all of us. It makes me sad we have to filter the men out … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/10/21 04:33 PM |
| 25 | Passive men are a huge turn off, and actually dangerous.Having a passive boyfriend is like being the older sister to your much younger siblings. You create the plans, you engage with them, you have fun but if anything goes wrong it's on you. Now that I think about it they're like having a child. They assume the stance that they can't ever be to blame because they never took any responsibility. Which basically amounts to them taking no responsibility over the relationship and no responsibility over how they're actions affect you. And its all under the… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/10/21 11:07 PM |
| 100 | This is why it is important to vet and advocate for yourself, ladies. It's life or death for some of us. No one, neither progressive nor conservative, will speak on this because our lives don't matter.I was just about to comment this. The article highlighted a lot of good points but skirted around this one. Pretending that black men are not the main danger to blakc women's lives does not help black women | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/10/21 09:46 PM |
| 147 | Ummm. What?I read that 5 times trying to understand it. My mind just didn't want to believe it. I'm so sad for this woman who was groomed and a clear victim of a pedophile - there's no other way to see that in my opinion Maybe she'll get how horrifying her stepfather/father of her child is when her daughter turns 4 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/21 09:37 PM |
| 3 | Your opinion doesn't need to be validated for you to have it.I feel like I had standards or things I expected men to be when I was younger and I crushed them or shoved hem to the back of my mind because society tells women that men can't be like that and you aren't worth it. So now I want to create standards for men that are outlandish but important because they matter to me. The list is growing but they're still not very high. I'm working on it | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/21 06:53 PM |
| 3 | Whenever I get mixed feelings about a man's actions...Same. I laugh to myself and reassure myself I can do an say whatever I want to this man. I don't owe him anything. Its a comforting thought | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/10/21 01:32 PM |
| 5 | Ladies, how much should an engagement ring cost?I can't imagine myself demanding the most expensive ring they can find (but some do and I love to see women demanding the world) But my partner would be earning a lot and if he was Leaning towards a cheap ring or even something on the lower end of average, I would rethink the entire marraige I do think it's the kind of thing that depends on a range of factors and the only way to avoid disappointing someon is to speak about it. But I don't think any woman should be accepting cheapness from their … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/10/21 01:15 PM |
| 123 | Your intuition as a woman is more powerful than you realiseIn a wierd way this makes me think of horror movies. I love them. And its always the women who say to their husbands that something isn't right. The husband dismisses them until its right in front of them Of course these movies are predominantly made by men so I wouldn't trust their characterization of women. But I've always believed that a women's intuition was more trustworthy than a man's when it comes to danger or even discomfort | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/10/21 11:41 AM |
| 17 | Having standards is not a hate crimeFDS is not about misleading and manipulating men. Its about knowing exactly what you want, communicating that and then leaving if it's not met. Strange how that's interpreted as a hate crime when women do it but men having standards is just part of what makes humans human. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/10/21 11:18 AM |
| 148 | The lack of attractive men out there is so dishearteningI get you. Since joining FDS and owning/writing down my standards. I've realised how very few men are well dressed. I'm not attracted to men who don't dress well, especially when they're out with me. It's disheartening to think how few men care about their physical appearances. And the few that do need to be HVM or whats the point | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 07:01 PM |
| 12 | Conservative men can be so misogynistic that I can no longer tell the difference between reality and satire.What on earth does a 38 year old want with a child? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 06:57 PM |
| 16 | She asked her partner of 6 years out on their first date. He confessed to her that he was unattracted to her for 2 yearsI feel awful for her. She should leave. He has essentially just said she was convenient sp he put up with her. He might say that's changed but I dont see how. He just fell into this relationship and decided to take everything she gave. Also why on earth would he say it in front of friends? He does not have a high opinion of her at all | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 12:39 PM |
| 1 | When dating, do you have certain professions that you avoid?Men who are in or have served in the military. I've heard enough anecdotal experiences from other women to just know there has to be a statistical link between abusive partners and army men. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/21 09:10 PM |
| 3 | FDS is and will always remain a dating sub first and foremost. Any suggestions to rename the sub or redirect its focus will be removed and offending users bannedExactly. I'm not dating nor do I want to. But I have friends who are. And I am the only person who will tell them to raise their standards and ask for the very best from men. And I got it all from here. It needs to stay dating orientated | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/21 08:53 PM |
| 1 | What’s something that you thought you had to do but realized it’s misogyny and actually doesn’t benefit you?I blame religion for that bs. Its basically put in the bible. Women can be attacked in any way by men. But god forbid we kick them in the balls to protect ourselves | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/10/21 10:22 AM |
| 1 | What’s something that you thought you had to do but realized it’s misogyny and actually doesn’t benefit you?Swallowing cum. Sending nudes. It's not "sexually liberating" and I regret that I even thought it was | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/10/21 09:53 AM |
| 1 | This dude is SHOCKED his wife is mad about him wanting to miss a wedding for a football game that he isn’t even going to!! Thankfully he gets roasted in the comments.At first I thought what an asshole but that edit at the end really drove it home. Hes watching it on TV?! He can't tape it bc social media? That is not a reason. If he doesn't want to ruin it for himself, you stay away from social media and watch it when you get home. Be an adult and understand you don't always get what you want. But you can keep the promises you've made months in advance or risk revealing the asshole that you are. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/21 01:46 PM |
| 1 | When are women ready to admit LTR don't mean shit? It's not soft marriage.This made me so upset and angry for all women. Also this is why another reason why the word bitch should not be used by women. Because there is no reclaiming this ugly word when it's used by men like this | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/21 07:10 AM |
| 1 | Of course Bill Cosby supports R. Kelly and hopes for a successful appeal. Predators will stick together to insist they are being wronged when they’ve traumatized dozens or hundreds of women. Who’s surprised?And its always at the expense of black women | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/21 07:36 PM |
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