They say not to get a vasectomy if you are banking on it being reversed...I may want kids later, who knows if I'll change my mind 10 years down the line
I grew up fairly poor as well. Sometimes you catch a break and sometimes you don't. 90% of my happiness comes from 10% of my wealth, it's something to think about. If you dont have enough money to feed yourself and your family, well that's something you need to focus your entire energy on. Past that, it's not that important. Just my opinion anyway.
Maybe that's not the best wording because you may think of the literal meaning of rape, but what I am saying is she is controlling me and inadvertently making me doing things I dont want to.
Thanks, this is what I plan on doing. I know people are saying I should stop having sex with her, but I think that it's part of this plan and helping the story be believable.
1) I want to keep up the facade of a relationship/future together, and I fear stopping the sex will make a red flag go up in her mind. That's the last thing I wanna do. 2) I know, that's what's scary for me. 3) I know you're right on this point, it just sucks that this is what had to happen. 4) You're right.
Yes I have I am worried that if I do, she will think something's up and it will ruin the chances of her believing me and going through with the abortion.
Yeah I have to agree with you. It will be IMPOSSIBLE for me to walk into the clinic and find out if she had the operation. The best I can come up with is seeing her leave the clinic and trying to deduce based on body language and physical state, since she would have just had a surgery done to her.
I know, and part of me believes you are right. But with the chance of her not going through with the abortion and me being fucked, I feel like I need to go with her.
Thank you. I know it's stupid but I don't want her to feel like something's up and then ruin this abortion. She can't get double pregnant so I am doing the lesser of two evils I feel like.
Thanks for the response. I am not religious and don't see anything wrong with abortion, so it's still an option for me. I'm sorry if that disappoints you. She's still so early in the pregnancy that IMO it's not a horrible act.
I need to find out if they have shared custody in large time durations, say 3 months with me, 3 months with her...the nature of my work will make it tough to hand over the kid every week...
Thanks a lot for this, I appreciate it. After reading this response and several others in this thread, I've realized I need to take care of the kid no matter what. It hadn't hit me yet that if she does keep the kid, it's still an innocent bystander in all of this. I hadn't even thought that far yet.
Yeah, but who knows if there was residual semen from the previous time. I just trusted the pill (and her) and thought I would be "extra safe" but its not enough by itself.
I will bring this up when I speak with my lawyer. Thanks for doing this research. I don't mind taking care of the kid, but yeah like you said, I would like it to be on my own terms and custody.
Thanks. I do agree that abortion isnt an easy, obvious solution. I am trying to keep that in mind. It's hard for me to say I will be there for the child definitely. I don't know what I will do.
Really? I should have just anticipated this? I met her and liked her and she has/had aspirations of going to med school. I dont think I messed up in this regard.
Thanks for this well thought out response. I am continuing to talk to her and going to talk to a lawyer this week. I keep telling her how a baby would ruin my life and hopefully, hopefully it sinks in.
She showed me the hospital pregnancy test. Besides that, I really have no idea. The document looked official and was signed and stamped by the hospital.
I will make an appointment with a lawyer this week, thank you. I'm still a fairly young guy so I wasn't sure what's the best next step, but it seems legal help is.
The thing is, I am young and we have only been dating for a year. Maybe I would have kids with her in 5 years, after marriage and after we are both secure and we planned it. But not now.
Hmm...Yeah, I'm not sure what to do. Part of me wants to take the kid away from her because like I said she's not fit to be a mom. Another part of me wants to just run away from it all and only be liable if it actually is my kid. If that makes sense....
When does a paternity test matter? If she pursues child support? Otherwise, if she wants to keep it and leave me alone, I'd rather not test and let her keep it. I dont want to marry or be with this woman after this ordeal.
