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OpeScuseMe74 Archive

View 2 posts and 78 comments by OpeScuseMe74 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
9

OpeScuseMe74/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 08:49 AM
5

OpeScuseMe74/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 04:21 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

Mine was finalized on 4/29. I changed my Facebook profile pic to Mel Gibson as William Wallace from Braveheart with the caption, "FREEEEDOOOOM!" Then I created a life event that said I was Divorced. Then as the first comment I posted this emoji: 🥳. And to top it off I clicked the ❤️ reaction. And I still got a couple, "I'm sorry"s. Like, really? The lying, cheating, leech is gone. Celebrate my victory with me! I'm a freaking one man parade here, throwing candy to my friends and neighbors, sittin…
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/24 03:44 AM
1

I appreciate the concern and the advice. Your words are well-intentioned and should generally be heeded. However, for my situation, my marriage was already over years ago. I already went through the stages of grief. I was just lazy about getting the court stuff done. So, I'm not really rebounding. I'm long over the hurt and betrayal and been essentially living single for years. The only difference is that I still cover my wife on insurance until next week when it's legally over and done.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 01:27 PM
2

But just like the "virtue signaling soy boys", we ignore those
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 07:02 AM
3

I can relate to realizing that the person I was in love with never really existed. I even had the rare opportunity to tell her that she was a figment of my imagination and more accurately of her own imagination. THAT woman never existed and I'm not falling for it anymore. Damn, that felt good.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 06:44 AM
3

I've seen a couple women post here that contribute worthy submissions to the discussion at hand. But just like the "virtue signaling soy boys", we ignore those who make "bitter" their personality.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 06:25 AM
3

Preach that message, brother. I'm listening.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 06:12 AM
2

Congratulations, brother! I'm almost there myself. My current offer/counteroffer is about 52% of what it could be. So, apparently, she's at least doing SOME of the things she said she would when she moved out. I'm glad you are satisfied with your outcome.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 06:09 AM
4

My last intimate moment with the STBXW was almost 6 years ago. We've lived separately, for just over 6 years now. It'll all be finished in the next few days with her. Meanwhile, I just reconnected with a woman I've tangentially known since I was in maybe first grade and she was in kindergarten with my brother. We went through the same elementary, junior high and high school. I'm 50 and she will be by the end of the year. There is such a deep familiarity with her that everything just clicks so na…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 05:47 AM
10

I always said yes, too. If I was still married to their mother, I still would've been the one (most of the time) to take them somewhere or pick them up. I didn't see a reason why that should change and I got just that much more time with my kids, who I love dearly. My STBXW never understood this. When her oldest and my oldest were in marching band at the same time, I was the one to take her daughter to practice because her kids were with us 100% of the time. We lived in the same neighborhood as …
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 11:41 AM
1

This is literally the first time I've ever heard of a woman having her husband committed and their children taken by CPS.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 10:43 AM
1

Redefine the vocabulary. Your home IS his home too.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 05:50 AM
1

I felt this way too. I made a deliberate point of having a conversation with my kids about it. I made sure they understood that my home is their home. I hated the idea that the kids would be "homeless" in the sense that they would only have "Mom's house" or "Dad's house" from then on. At least in the beginning, it was easy to distinguish in conversation. "Our house" meant where their mom lived. "Our apartment" meant my place. I wasn't able to provide as nice of a home as she could because she ea…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 05:40 AM
3

As a believer, I fully believe that God wants me to have a partner. I know I'm not strong enough on my own to be like Paul was in 1 Corinthians 7. Unfortunately, I've been unsuccessful, twice now, in finding a faithful and compatible partner. I believe she is out there. He made us to be compatible with a spouse. (Genesis 2:18) He will definitely use our struggles to strengthen us and make something good with the broken pieces. But strength is never built without resistance. What I mean by that i…
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 05:45 AM
5

There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community. - Proverbs 6:16-19 This passage disagrees with that statement.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 03:58 AM
3

Damn. I'm really in for it then. She has nothing but a car she mildly wrecked and can't afford to fix that she bought AFTER being served, a bunch of new internet/Bluetooth compatible sex toys and some fancy sex clothes (none of which were for my pleasure). Uncontested, she could get about $75,000. But I'm only offering $17,500 because I discovered her affair from 5½ years ago. That's half of my wealth acquired during the marriage up until then.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 06:38 AM
3

With my first wife, I started working 2nd shift when our first was born. She made more money than I did with her degree and I had dropped out of college. So, we agreed that I would switch to a second shift job so I could take care of the kids during the daytime and she would take care of them in the evening. Daycare is expensive. Most of my paycheck would have been eaten up. Our sleep schedules could still match. Child number two comes along. They start preschool, then half-day kindergarten. Whe…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 06:49 AM
1

I have begun to agree with this more and more. The problem is the other legal hitches. Sharing your healthcare or being able to extend your healthcare to your stepchildren is one problem of a marriage not being acknowledged by the state. When my divorce is finalized, they'll have to go on MedicAid or something. She can't provide decent private insurance. It won't matter once they hit 26 when I couldn't cover them anymore anyway, but in the meantime, they're getting screwed because their biologic…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 07:20 AM
6

I still believe in love and in marriage. I actually WANT to be married to someone and spend the rest of my life with her. Marriage takes work and compromise. It isn't 50/50, it's 100/100. With my ex, I didn't give it 100% and neither did she. With my STBXW, I did but she didn't. Both of them cheated and, oddly, both of them also ended up in the arms of foreign lovers. Both of them have clinically documented mental health diagnoses. People say, "Even knowing what I know now, I'd do it again becau…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 02:44 AM
5

Some of those single divorced moms are the victims of bad relationships. Just like some of us single divorced dads. It's harder and harder to find wife-worthy virgins as we age.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 06:57 AM
7

I had an involuntary physical reaction both times I received proof of my wives' infidelity. The first wife was from a verbal confirmation. She accidentally yet strongly implied that her and her current husband had sex. I felt something drop inside of me. My current wife, I found pictures and videos of her with her current AP. I had a mini panic attack with rapid heartbeat and the works. It's wild. You have friends here. Sorry you're going through this.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 05:34 AM
3

Can you imagine if this was 100% true all the time? What a confusing existence that would be. "I feel a cold coming on. I must never have had a healthy day in my life!"
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 05:30 AM
1

That sucks. I know the feeling. I'm working my way out of #2 right now. Take time to grieve but don't sit idle. Time will dull the rough edges of pain but you got things to do to take care of yourself now.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 03:13 AM
2

If this is brand new, definitely start having the hard conversations with her about what is really going on in her head about your marriage. Her feelings may seem to have come out of nowhere but they didn't just show up one morning. My first wife and I certainly had problems but I never thought, in a million years, that she was gonna give up on us. She was diagnosed bipolar in our 10th year. We almost made it to 15. She had a lot of issues that were never voiced until too late and our "marriage …
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 03:07 AM
1

Last time we had sex was June 2018. Last time she had sex was on her straycation in November. Her AP is in England though, so most of it is by video and the use of interactive toys. But she has to do that at her Mom & Dad's tiny house now. And her mom never leaves the house. I almost got to the point of asking if we could do a FWB situation but I'm glad I didn't.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 09:22 AM
4

This guy did the math.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 09:15 AM
2

Sounds like your current situation is like my first marriage except that it's working. I had morning shift with the kids and worked 2nd. She worked normal 9-5 and took care of kids in the evening.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 09:14 AM
15

Had our first Valentines Day date in 7 years at court this year. She was asking for $600/month temporary spousal support and I was asking for exclusive use of the residence. I got it. She didn't.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 06:14 AM
22

My STBXW moved out before Christmas even though I told her she didn't have to until a judge told her she did. I also told her she still has full rights to use the vehicle she's been driving for the last 5 years. Meanwhile, she went ahead and bought a car in late December or early January AFTER she got served papers. Well, she crashed her new wheels into a curb on some ice. It was apparently bad enough to make a claim to insurance. The problem was that her new wheels aren't covered on our policy.…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 02:44 AM
2

Not food, but I cut my chin hair short again. Might grow it out again later but it'll be for me this time, if I do.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 11:14 PM
1

It sounds like you do like her. It's just a matter of getting accustomed to a new person. I couldn't finish the first couple times with my current wife. It got better and easier. But my stamina was well beyond what I experienced with my first wife. Not to brag but I'd wear my second wife out while not having been able to finish off my first wife. It was more of a her problem than a me problem there. Give it time. Try other positions. There's a lot of other good suggestions here.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 06:00 PM
8

Congratulations! Just had my first hearing yesterday (Valentines Day) and the magistrate denied her request for $600/mo spousal support. Don't know what my lawyer said before the magistrate but I told him she needs to request that from her boyfriend of 4 years. I had also requested exclusive use of the residence but she already moved out to her parents before Christmas. I still have a ways to go before final resolution. So good so far!
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 02:10 PM
2

My first wife was reasonable and it was easy to get the dissolution. I should've gone for half her 401(k) because we were only contributing to hers for most of the marriage. All in all, I still got a good settlement. Meanwhile, I think I'm at least going to buy the kids some chocolate or something. They're all over 20 but it's still a good gesture. We'll all (STBXW excluded) still go out for dinner for my birthday on Friday though.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 02:10 PM
10

Better than my plans tomorrow. I've got our first hearing with my STBXW.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 02:03 PM
4

An apology on behalf of anyone other than yourself is no apology. It's pandering and useless.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 10:31 PM
9

I know specifically of two guys she had sex with during our marriage. There's probably a couple more that I don't know of. One guy, I have recorded phone conversations where he talks about them doing it "a lot" when she flew to Florida to see him and that when he flew here, she didn't have sex with him. The current AP flew in from England and spent two weeks with her in Kentucky, Tennessee and North Carolina. They have videos of her pleasuring him orally. She also has multiple Lovense toys capab…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 11:19 PM
2

"I believe in the sun even when it is not shining. I believe in love even when I do not feel. I believe in God even when He is silent." I still believe in marriage even if I don't choose wisely.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 12:57 PM
1

First marriage: My ex-in-laws still like me. I loved her family in general and they loved me back. I still hug most of them whenever I see them, including aunts, uncles and cousins. I was even a pallbearer for her grandma after our divorce. I've been invited a couple of times to Christmas or Easter gatherings but declined out of respect for her. She converted to Islam 🙄 so they don't celebrate those holidays. Her sister used to still make me a sweet potato pie at Christmas when I would drop off …
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 08:51 AM
2

If it's not really over but it's just broken and you both (or just one of you) have fallen out of love, seek out a good marriage counselor. See what you're both willing to do to heal the relationship. If it's over and beyond reconciliation, it's okay to move on. It sucks and it's painful. Take the time to mourn the death of the marriage. I'm in the process of divorce #2 right now but I felt kinda that way during #1. It does get better. Just make sure you know what you need to know moving forward…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 06:42 PM
5

If my STBXW would have hyphenated all of her legal last names it would be a half mile long. She didn't get it legally changed to mine until about 5 years into the marriage even though she had to do similar things at the Social Security office for her middle trans kid's name change. I'd like her to change it back to any one of those or whatever she'd like as long as it ain't mine. Told my first wife the same thing when she remarried.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 08:12 PM
1

Depends on the state. I'm in Ohio and bought the house, in my name only, in May and married in September. She's legally entitled to half the equity for the duration of the marriage (September of that year to present). She may accept an offer of dissolution which could allow me to keep it, but she doesn't have to.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 08:53 PM
1

Mine once told me how I wasn’t peeing right. That my form was wrong. Please demonstrate how I should be peeing standing up. Pretty sure my 50 years on this planet with a penis trumps her zero.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 06:48 PM
2

My wife frowns on me having a girlfriend, though. I mean, it's okay for her to have a boyfriend, apparently.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 06:30 PM
1

My current situation is two of her kids (and her oldest's fiance) still live with me but all 3 of her kids (all over 20) want nothing to do with her. They like me and can depend on me. They've been able to see their mom and me with their own eyes and ignore any lies they've been told about me. They've made their own judgment of my character and hers. Most of my friends were family beforehand. If she's partying up with those people, don't be jealous. It sucks. I know. But would they also party wi…
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 10:56 AM
2

Definitely good advice. You aren't the same person you were before getting married. You aren't the same person you were as a newlywed. You aren't the same person you were after being married for however long. Those people all became who you were in a slow process. It's a new world and a different you now, once divorce is in the books. Those old yous knew kind of what to expect as they transitioned into the next you. Find out who you are now or who you want to be. Make some changes as necessary. …
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 10:42 PM
6

Go to the gym or workout anyway. Don't worry about losing weight or building mass or looking good. Just do it to be healthier and have something to do. You'll end up feeling better and looking better as a byproduct. THEN, if you attract women, go for it. It's about you right now, not them.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 08:01 PM
3

I don't envy your situation but I'm rooting for you. Wish I had better or at least additional advice to add to the other guy.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 07:21 PM
6

That's literally impossible unless she is actually blind.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 09:30 PM
1

I'm definitely hanging in. She won't get the last of me. Just gotta walk through the steps and get this psycho out of my house.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 11:24 AM
5

I'm in Ohio, and this is what I was told. The only thing that would affect how much I might owe her in alimony or settlement is if there is proof that she "wasted the marital estate" which means, did she spend your collective money on the affair and/or the affair partner. Unfortunately, cheating is not illegal, just immoral.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 05:22 PM
2

I feel jealous of the attention she gives to her AP. But I have to recognize that I'm jealous of the attention I might get from such a horrible person.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 12:05 PM
4

I like this explanation. Cheating is selfish.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 02:27 AM
5

My first time through was definitely hardest because my boys were 9½ and almost 8. Together 17 years and married 14½. Everything sucked because she wouldn't do marriage counseling and I really wanted to figure it out. She was checked out long before she let me know. But there were also online boyfriends and even the guy she married was someone she met online and also from another country. If I were to write out the whole soap opera, it would be stranger than any story I've ever seen or would hav…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 01:53 AM
1

I'm absolutely not doing anything without my lawyer confirming that I can. Once my papers are filed, the lawyer is filing for "exclusive use" of the residence.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/23 06:30 AM
2

She is definitely a leech and she is also very mentally ill.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 12:51 PM
3

We agreed to be boyfriend/girlfriend after first date. Perhaps too soon? Yes. Definitely too soon. She catfished me on profile - which probably be a red flag from outset. Not probably a red flag. ABSOLUTELY a red flag! Was I not enough and am I overthinking this. Being "not enough" for a liar is nothing to be concerned about. Their opinion of you is 100% meaningless. Don't allow yourself to be devalued by a virtual stranger. I could have seen a real future with this lady Your memory of her face …
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 05:25 AM
1

Being disabled can mean a lot of things. To look at her, you wouldn’t suspect anything out of the ordinary. I don't know what initially qualified her for disability and I no longer trust what I've been told was the cause. I do know that she was on a lot of meds including gabapentin and some anxiety meds. She has replaced almost all of that now by getting her medical marijuana use card. Near as I can tell, she actually uses it responsibly. I do know she has a newer diagnosis that I've seen a doct…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 03:33 AM
4

This sounds awesome. It's amazing how expensive a partner can be. Worth it if you get something in return but terrible if it's all one way.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 02:43 AM
0

Don't know about WA, but in Ohio, spouses are entitled to half the equity in the home from the beginning of the marriage until divorce is finalized regardless of whose name is on the deed or the home loan. They are also entitled to any retirement (401k) increase during the marriage. If you had any equity or retirement assets before the marriage, that is untouched. Equitable distribution will consider any marital debt (car loans, credit cards, financed HVAC installation, stuff like that) to offse…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 02:24 AM
2

Well, it's gonna start at 2k, we'll see what the final bill will be with her getting house equity and some of my retirement. As for your situation, good luck. I hope it's all over soon.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 11:56 PM
3

I guess we're about to find out. She's on vacation with AP now and doesn't think I'm aware of who she's with. I just put my $2k retainer down with the lawyer and am seeing if I can legally empty out all of her possessions to a storage unit before she gets back. If I can, she's going to receive a picture of the empty room by text before her phone gets shut off.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 03:55 PM
4

Figure out what you like to do. Find or start a social group that also enjoys it. Volunteer somewhere that gives your free time more purpose. Take a fun side job. I love music and work part time at a local concert venue. Splurge (but don't go crazy) on something you've really wanted. For me, it was some cool Lego sets for an adult budget. Someone else suggested self-help books. Become a better you. The best you will attract a better mate. Take yourself out to a sit down dinner and a movie. Ain't…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 09:07 PM
1

My ex married a foreigner who later immigrated here to the US. While he was still overseas awaiting his paperwork to move here with his new American wife, one of my boys did a country report in elementary school about his country. Their mom, of course, helped write it. Every mention of their stepfather was only as "dad". It was written as if I was the dude from another country. I was pissed, not at my son, obviously. I explained to him that in the future, when writing or talking with anyone outs…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 11:09 AM
4

Hoping to wake up from it soon. It's about time to rise and shine!
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 03:47 AM
1

This is helpful. Thank you very much.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 02:59 AM
1

I once asked our marriage counselor (in one of several sessions that she found some excuse not to attend) if she might be diagnosed as bipolar, BPD, narcissism, etc. He kinda chuckled and suggested we deal with one thing at a time. I'm living pretty good in our current arrangement but I'll be glad when she's gone. So will her kids, who I've told are welcome to stay. Neither of their parents are trustworthy, mentally stable or dependable. Luckily, they seem to be okay. As for being victims of abu…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 02:57 AM
6

She has allegedly been diagnosed in the past for Complex PTSD from injury from an explosion while hiking near/on property owned by a coal mine when she lived in another state. The kids and I are unsure if that's even a true event. She is definitely medically physically disabled from some uncertain event as well as a newer and unrelated physical ailment diagnosis, which I've seen a doctor's note for and she definitely receives SSI. She was arrested for domestic violence against me about 5 years a…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 01:01 PM
3

*Medically. And no kidding. She's quite a mess.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 08:55 AM
1

You say you make good money. Is she in any kind of therapy or on any kind of medication? Is she even open to it? Are your in-laws aware of the severity of the problem and would they be able to help? What about your parents or other family? She is in serious need of intervention and psychological/psychiatric therapy, but im sure you already know that. Your situation is intolerable and I sympathize with you. My ex and my current wife both have different mental illnesses but not like this. This is …
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 05:01 AM
1

I'll DM you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 09:43 AM
1

They should be going on the mission with you. If they resist, if they try to take you on their mission,... So, women aren't allowed to have a mission? Only men are allowed to have a mission?
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 08:47 AM
1

Where do you live that you can't find a hotel/motel for less than $350 a night. My mortgage is less than $600 not including home insurance and property taxes.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 08:19 AM
3

It's okay to let your daughter know that being around her mother and the new guy makes you uncomfortable or even sad. Depending on your daughter's age, she may be able to understand more than you think. Daughter loves you too and I'm sure she doesn't want you to be upset. Maybe she won't understand right now but she will be able to layer. Just always tell her the truth, as much as she can reasonably bear. She'll see the truth in you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 06:43 AM
14

We're all innocent here. My first marriage, I was kinda lazy and didn't get things done as soon as she would have liked. But she also told me I'm a great dad but not so great husband. Second and current marriage, I tried to get her to enforce the house rules, that we all discussed and agreed upon, with her kids. She often threw me under the bus and made me the bad guy. Kids are all over 18 now and don't care much for her and also realize I'm not such a bad guy after all.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 06:09 AM
4

I always read AF as Air Force. lol
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 05:56 AM
1

Domestic Violence
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 12:38 PM
1

"Most states" may have the authority to do that but that doesn't mean that they will. Instead of helping my wife, they beat her up because she was belligerent as they arrested her for DV. I called them for her suicide risk, not for her biting me.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 07:48 AM
2

Repeated cancels and no-shows sounds like an excuse not to go to therapy. Unless there is a way to prove she is actively seeking and hopefully receiving help, I'm skeptical. You know her better than us, though.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 07:46 AM
1

I wish the police and ambulance that showed up when I called would have taken her in for psychiatric hold. Instead, she sent them away. Then, when they came back later, all they did was beat her up for me and then arrest her for DV. Days later, she refused to help me go after the police who beat her up and humiliated her in jail.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 07:16 AM
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