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Own_Maybe9468 Archive

View 3 posts and 107 comments by Own_Maybe9468 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
18

Own_Maybe9468/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 09:19 AM
6

Own_Maybe9468/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 03:35 PM
2

Own_Maybe9468/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 01:35 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Same age, same experience. Yes it does get better but not in the way you think it is. You will be a more mature version of yrself after you get through it. You will learn more about yourself and the life you want. Since the divorce already happen. Treat it as an experience that you must go through and move forward. You will make it!
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 01:26 PM
1

Must be satisfying. I dont really know who the guy is for my case, but I am pretty sure he is married too.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 09:15 AM
1

Well, it is up to you actually. It is a true that revenge only brings more negative impacts to your life but who am I to tell you when you are hurting. Even if I tell you not to do it, you might still do it to release your frustration. Yes, the world is unfair. I hope you eventually find peace after the betrayal. Just remember this, revenge will have its consequences. They chose their actions, and you get to choose your reaction and all of them will have their corresponding consequences. If you …
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 03:05 AM
1

Play guitars? Read a book? BBQ with friends?
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 02:55 AM
2

I dont think she is avoiding confrontation. She just made up her mind that she doesn't want you. So every action she does will lean towards this. She just stops trying.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 01:35 PM
5

Well, my ex-wife said the exact same thing to me. What I thought were happy memories between us — for example, our honeymoon — now seem to hold little meaning or joy for her. I don’t think she truly feels that way about those moments. Sometimes, it might be because she’s already emotionally detached and ready to leave. In that state, she may view everything negatively or even say hurtful things to push me toward agreeing to the divorce and justify being with the other person. I can’t say for cer…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 10:05 AM
2

Thanks, I will do it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 03:33 AM
1

Sadly, but I agree I need my head checked.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 03:31 AM
3

Talk to a friend. If you have no friends, talk to strangers. Alcohol only helps you to relax temporarily. What I realise now is that you dont need an alternative life path. You just need some time to adapt to single life. Do some exercise, do some yoga or breathing exercise. You need something to help you mentally and physically. I dont like to be alone as that often drives me to depression and self blame easily. Go to a studio, you dont have to talk to others, just enjoy their presence and exer…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 11:36 AM
1

Maybe you just appreciate your situation and life better than many of us here. Also, we all feel different. You are still one of us even if you don't feel bad as we share similar experience (divorce). I am happy for you, and I hope to be happy like you one day during the holiday season. Don't think too much, it is okay to be happy. I would rather see all of the people here being happy, that's the kind of world I want to live in.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 09:21 AM
2

Ya. They will do whatever that makes them feel good about themselves (to cover up their guilt and justify their actions). They don't say it because they mean it. Their action to give up on the marriage already shows otherwise. Same for my ex. Somehow, she really cares how she looks on the outside to the other people and loves deflecting responsibilities. I gave up already. She does her thing and I do mine. Other people can see what really is going on from the outside and I owe her no reply and e…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 08:23 AM
6

Found a good one, very womanly women. We never quarrel while we are together. She is soft. petite, and always appreciative. Sadly, we are different and I am over the age of being together with other people because they are nice.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 06:06 AM
2

Pretty sure it is A haha. I think she just want control over my life while she does whatever she wants. Thanks for the encouragement, man.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 06:03 AM
18

I mean you have already divorced her. Nothing can be do if she wants to be a hoe. If I am your friend, I would leave the details out since they can be really destructive to your mind.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 05:20 AM
1

Finished the flight school if you can, and plan about going back after that. If your mental health is terrible, consider just go back to Korea, at least your birth family and friends are there (Support system is important at your current phase, try to make friends with your colleagues now if you could). I would rather see you alive and happier. All I can say is going back may not save your marriage (I think you will know best about the situation).
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 02:27 AM
11

It doesn't matter. If you stop her from using social media for whatever she wants, she is going to tell her friends, they are going to call you toxic, and you will still get the divorce. I think it is up to individual to not act accordingly to their desires and protect the family. The focus should be she chose to end the marriage and not the reason why. Without the social media, she may still file over other reasons.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 02:13 AM
3

I am sorry for what you have gone through, but I hope you do realize this is a help group. I won't stop saying nice things to people in the group because of the presence of bad apples and even if there are bad apples, as long as they repent, learnt their mistakes and change, I will accept him too. People here extended their hand to me when I am in need. I fear that one lonely kind soul will go to the path of suicide because no one in the society is willing to extend help to him. It is not for me…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 02:03 AM
1

It is spreading like cancer everywhere around the world and dont forget women union exists😂. I am from Asia, and ya, you pretty much lose more than half of your things if you are divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 03:42 PM
6

Damn. This is really horrifying. Sorry that you have to go through this.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 03:30 PM
7

What a coincidence, I got the same thing recently. Except that my ex told me about her sexual experience with the many international men she had after we divorced while still trying to patch back with me. Idk what I did to deserve this, but ya. This really spoils my week. FYI, our wedding anniversary is a day before Christmas.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 03:27 PM
9

Marriage everywhere is the same 😂. It is the social media and society (aka. Feminism).
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 06:56 AM
3

I met mine in high school too. I guess that's life. Dont take it too hard on yourself. Swipe when you are bored only.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 01:48 PM
1

Mine is still with me but I don't wear it anymore. I bought myself some cheap rings since I am used to having smth on my finger. Not sure about you guys but it serves as a good reminder every day to never lose myself over a woman.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 07:18 AM
5

Well, swipe on the uglies one too. That's what I do. Quantity first. Once you get better on that, filter out while adding more into the pool. At the same time, exercise and learn to dress up and style your hair. Everyone like good looking things and dating app is especially visual. FYI, I am not handsome, and I am 5'6". So ya, it takes very long for me to get a match too. Don't be discourage, the fact that you can make it to marriage means you are not half bad. Those with no games would have bee…
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 06:52 AM
5

Yes boys. I agree. We already divorce once, we don't have to settle for less. No one and nothing are rushing us to be married anyway. For now, I just want to enjoy my time alone while maintaining my inner peace. No amount of women/sex are worth my inner peace. I will reject once, and I will reject twice. It doesn't mean I will be single for life. I keep myself prepared through upgrading, if there is a good one, I don't mind grabbing it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 06:37 AM
1

No, you don't get less horny. It is a good distraction when the urge comes. Sexual urge could be due to biological or emotional. If you have to, just do the escort thing moderately. Once every one or two months for regulation. What I realized is when I have someone who truly care for me (emotional part taken care of), my sexual needs go down too. Hence, I suggest having a long-term girlfriend that can take a NO for marriage. No pressure to move on emotionally and can enjoy a fun time together.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 06:17 AM
1

Difference is if you think she is the right one after some time, you can choose to progress with her (maybe marriage or anything). FWB is short term (no emotional attachment) and I am tired of having another person walking out of my life at any moment. I don't need sex as much. I rather have someone who really care about me to have fun with.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 06:12 AM
1

Gold. Don't date females who do not have emotional intelligence. Else, they will just monkey brunch when you can't provide.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 06:06 AM
1

Damn, that's really tough. My heart stays with you brother.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 06:05 AM
13

I just see women being women. You will soon realize you have been living in lies because you can't count on anyone, especially your wife. To most women, husband=provider. If you are not a provider, then you will not be the husband to her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 05:57 AM
7

What do you think they are going to say? Thats their daughter, they are going to side her and be there for her even if it is her fault. Assuming your in laws are righteous, the best is they are going to lecture her. Nothing is going to happen and most likely they will advise divorce for good.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 05:56 AM
2

Just some encouragement for you. People who i thought were friends sleep with my then wife/ hit on her after divorce. Some were invited to my parents' home and some came to our wedding. Be strong, buddy.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 08:15 AM
9

Some guy just doesn't have morals. Dont take it into heart. I will never sleep with someone's wife, and I despise people who know she is married and still do it. Be strong, buddy.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 08:12 AM
6

Yup, apparently, women dont stay at our hard time even if we marry them. They can't provide emotional support for us, and when life is tough, they will look for other men who can provide them the security they need. That's how I learnt I am a clown, I provide, but the other guy got her with mere words. Now, I would rather be the guy who gives words instead of the work.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 08:08 AM
2

Cheating multiple times before marriage. Lies after lies. She will say things like I dont control you. Hence, you shouldn't control me and bother who I hang out with (she hangs out with male ex colleagues till late night and drinks often). Yes, after divorce, they confess to her. Overprotective of her privacy and twisted values. Trust your instinct. If something is off, most likely something is indeed off. Dont get married in this era.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 03:40 PM
2

Depends on your state of mind. Escort is for sex only, and you can do it discreetly. They may not be more dirty than people who do casual sex because they do it everyday, they care more about their safety than anyone. FWB, I dont recommend it because you will grow attachment. Either you or her may want more, and it will make your life more chaotic. Long-term girlfriend who understands your situation, not eager to get married will be a better choice if you are ready. Else, hit the gym.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 02:49 PM
2

You can try new hobbies, meet new friends (doesn't have to be girl) or just enjoy time alone. I am 29, was with my ex-wife for 9 years, similar to your case. My plan now is to just enjoy the youth that I have missed out. I have never gone clubbing and solo travel in the past, but I do now. I couldn't let her go too but life has to move on. I did yoga and cycling studio. I feel yin yoga is good for my mind and I don't think about her while exercising. Try to recall what you want to do or be when …
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 06:51 AM
2

Well, I will not tell you if you should divorce since it is a terrible experience that i wish no one would go through. The truth is that everyone's situation is different, and everyone feels different. Ultimately, you know yourself the best (your needs) to make the decision, and it is for you to bear the outcome that follows (same if you choose to stay). I will give you an analogy instead. Imagine you are holding a cup, and I pour hot water into the cup. How long will you hold it? When the hot w…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 05:30 AM
1

I am going to repeat what others told me when I first join the club. Sincerely, i hope things get better for you over time, at the very least stop getting hurt. After divorce, you will slowly feel better, though your emotions will be up and down like a roller coaster ride). Trust the process, give yourself some time to grieve, half a year or one year. You wont be in pain constantly.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 05:15 AM
1

Same, I had one after my divorce. I just need some alone time to figure my life out first. Focus on my goals. All the best buddy.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 05:31 AM
4

Just remember why you guys divorced. The shity things she did to you and the cold shoulder she gave you after divorce. Do you really want to continue living like that? Seeing her with another man and ignoring your feelings? As time passes, we only remember the good things, but she is no longer the wife you married.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 05:27 AM
2

Hookers haha. Well, they only work for short terms. Ultimately, if you feel enough love (could be self love), you wouldn't need a person for validation. Maybe look for your single ex-girlfriends if any. Think about it, you could get married, you can get matches on dating apps. These just means that you still have game. It could be your vibe that is off due to the divorce or just the way dating apps are. I am in the same situation as you and the truth is nothing fills the void because what we wan…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 09:06 AM
3

Agree, as long as both parties know what they are getting themselves into, I guess it is fine. Just be careful to not get her pregnant or get too emotionally invested. When you just get divorced, you are like a drown man reaching out for something to hang on. So be careful with who you pick. That's the reason why I go for escort sometimes, I don't want to be dependent on someone (especially a women) and make sure that I can always walk away whenever I wish to. Saw you comment on taking someone t…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 08:52 AM
13

Well, kinda the same, though it is not the hardest for me. My relatives don't even know I am divorced yet and I don't plan to go to any family gathering for the coming years. My sister is getting married soon so it gets awkward when they ask me about my wife and so. I think the hardest part for me is having my future plan crushed (was saving for house and trying for a baby). All of a sudden, you are no longer a husband, and I lose family members (my ex-wife family is nice to me, and I have been …
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 08:27 AM
6

I am glad I am not the only one feeling it. I really feel like I find my company here. Sometimes, I dont know how to explain to people that one moment I feel like I could do anything, feeling great and later the day I feel like I should have been gone, that I have no purpose in life. People would have thought that I was crazy/dramatic or bipolar. After divorce, I just keep many of my emotions within because no one bothers, and no one should bother. I hope we all grow out of this divorce experien…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 01:54 PM
1

All the best to you too💪
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 01:44 PM
3

Bad
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 11:03 PM
3

You can't force someone to love you or stay with you. This is reality. You can try to keep your marriage, but ultimately, it is her call whether the marriage should end or not. From my POV, she is already out of the marriage, but you can try just so that it leaves you no regret. Remember this, marriage is when two people choose to be together to have a family, so once one party stops choosing to be together, it is already over. Stay strong, buddy.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/25 06:55 AM
4

I was there. Assuming the third part is no longer in the picture, the question now is how long you can last after learning about the affair and how remorseful she is to handle the resentment that you have due to the affair. Knowing the affair will kill you bit by bit, you will hate her and have many trauma response, and if she dont realise how deep your pain is, couldn't work together with you to resolve your pain and rebuild the trust, it will just be a matter of time before the official divorc…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/25 01:54 AM
9

Maybe only in your dream
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 01:32 PM
7

Yes, it will be. You alr learn yr lesson from first divorce, you dont need another one to teach you the same lesson. Dodge the red flags or qualities that you dislike. We are over the age of getting married to be married. Choose someone that you can see you building your life with.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 01:32 AM
9

It takes time, but you will feel it eventually. Freedom seems like pain and poison at the beginning. You think a lot when you are free (about the past and maybe future of what the relationship could have been) and become emotional (suffer in pain, loss of identity and lost), keep searching for someone to fill the void. But now? Hell yeahhh. Need no women, I feel I can be whoever I want (no kid), do whatever I want (no wife to tell me she doesn't want to go out or has a different idea). I have FU…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 12:15 PM
2

I am not a father, but I also thought of this. Do a man mental health day, giving out flowers and words of support. The law system and society have been cruel and unfair to man, especially divorced men like us. I do hope that one day, there will be more help and someone standing up for us. Thanks for your effort.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 01:01 PM
3

You got your answer. You are on anti-depressant, so you dont feel it. Same for me when I was taking them. Only my rational mind works when I have them. It kicks in when I stop the medication. The wave of emotions that came randomly, uncontrolled crying.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 12:58 PM
2

You will be happy again You need to accept being alone temporary, but it doesn't mean you will be. Well, she cheated on you, so she is not as good as you think. You need some time for the filter to be removed. Focus on the hurtful things she said to move on for now. You are lovable, that's why you have her in the first place. She just stops loving you, but it says nothing about you. That's something to do with her. You will find someone if you want to, maybe it will take a long time but you even…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 12:53 PM
3

Hey man, I saw your message. I understand your feelings. I had a similar experience as you. Cheated on me multiple times with guys. Forgive and get married and still contact the guy. Ending is she initiated the divorce because I dont forgive and accept her past (and she claimed thats the reason why she keep falling for other guy) and yes, I still miss her and want her back even till today (6 months after official divorce). I'm pretty sure she is with a new guy shortly after I move out or when we…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 12:39 PM
2

Think of it in this manner. If you stay with her, she will keep cheating on you, and it will keep hurting you. Do you prefer to go through the pain of being cheated on again and again and still be abandoned in the end or endure the lonely feeling now. Yes, our lives are not good now because we lose our family, but at least it stops her from killing you each day. Hope this clears it up for you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 11:35 AM
1

Ya, man. I met one who is probably insecure about her look and started calling me creep and saying I probably have never dated in my life just because I said her tele photo looks different from her bumble photo. Well, what to expect at this age.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 12:07 PM
4

No prob, man. I am also going to initiate my first break up after divorce on today. I think we will meet the right one one day. Just need to focus on our goals for now.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 09:12 AM
1

Yes, we just learn to live with it for life. Acceptance. Accept it was all over.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 04:20 PM
3

Hey bro, you can talk or rant here. You can talk to me if you want. It is a phase. Sometimes, the missing ex-wife part comes back. Mine came back every day, at unexpected moments and every morning. You will be okay, you are okay. Remember, there is a reason why the divorce happens. Either you can no longer bear it, or she can no longer bear it. Remember the pain of going through the divorce procedures. We pass through the toughest, and we will move on from this too. Be strong, my brother. There …
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 04:18 PM
1

I was there. I hope you will get better. Sometimes, it is things like this that really make us let go and didn't want to go back. I wouldn't want to be hurt like that again, especially when I am vulnerable. She probably just needed some time to move on officially, hence the friendship. We all know a friendship won't work out, especially when she starts talking about her new relationship. It just kills me from inside. It will always hurt because they are our spouse, our best friend and soul mate.…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 03:19 AM
3

I am on off, which makes me feel bipolar sometimes. At one moment, I am angry at how she left me, left our family and move on. At another moment, I am sorry, I miss her and the idea of US. But yes, I do feel mentally exhausted and frustration but maybe try to change the way you view your emotions. The mental exhaustion makes me appreciate things more as I could end up worse. The frustration is what keeps me from going back because I know the history will just repeat itself. She can move on easil…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 03:06 AM
12

It's similar to what all the guys here said. She cheated, she detached emotionally, and so. The truth is i should have listened to other advice and never gotten married even if I really want to. Marriage today is just a nightmare. Vows mean nothing. Man loses dignity and money due to divorce. I realise there is nothing that is forever. People who once love you very much can change overnight. Choose yourself, protect yourself, and always remember you are alone. Never think that there is an ideal …
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 06:26 PM
3

Happy Belated Birthday, Bro. May your day be filled with laughter, love, and all the beautiful moments in between.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 10:47 PM
1

Thanks, man. I will watch out for red flags closely. I actually rejected a few girls prior to dating her because of the obvious red flags. For me, I just go on a lot of dates and cherry pick from the pool. Maybe you can try that. When you always have people around, you won't be so desperate to be in a relationship. Sometimes, we just need companionship. Also, NEVER depends on girls. The biggest mistake I made was relying on my ex-wife. Dont worry, bud. I am always ready to walk away.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 01:17 PM
1

Yes, dont rush obligations. Thanks, bud.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 01:46 AM
1

Thanks for the tips. Learning to set your boundaries is really important. Finding someone you are comfortable with instead of someone I always have to attend to.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 01:44 AM
2

I want to thank you guys for the input. Some of the comments do not align with what I am doing now, but this is what the forum is for, to see new opinions so that I can reflect and make adjustments if necessary. I date with intention (I do not enjoy the chaos from casual relationships), and I want a long-term partner (lifetime if possible). I may not have gotten over my previous relationship completely, but I will not go back to her again. I do see the new girl for who she is and appreciate her …
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/25 06:04 AM
2

Yes. Seeing that you could be loved after divorce really accelerates the healing process. I will be cautious and not get both of us hurt in the process while enjoying a wonderful and respectful relationship together. At the same time, like you mentioned, prioritising my goals instead of going all in like my first marriage. I try to keep the relationship always open for honest and respectful conversations as I dont want any guessing and dramas or resentment penting up. Thank you for your advice. …
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/25 02:31 AM
1

Thanks, man. I actually thought about this before I entered the relationship with her and discussed this with her. I think it is a growing relationship instead of a forever relationship as we have a lot of differences (culture, shared values, and religion). I already faced divorce once due to it not being a forever relationship. Hence, I am not so keen to go through it again. However, the difference is that my current gf is willing to take the leap of faith, and instead of trying to change each …
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/25 02:25 AM
1

I doubt she will regret it since she is so unappreciative and ungrateful. Nonetheless, I will be better for myself.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 09:10 AM
6

Screw her man. Sometimes, channelling the negative energy as anger does help. When you hate her, you will find it easier to let go. Dont let her action define you. You are a good man. We all are good men here yet suffering from this betrayal. Our effort has nothing to do with her betrayal. Yes, we can't trust women, but we still have ourselves or maybe some of our family members care. Your life is greater than just your wife/ woman. Her betrayal means nothing. You are better than this. We are be…
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 01:46 PM
1

You too. Stay strong.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 08:33 AM
11

A woman is not a 10 if she doesn't love you. She may be pretty, but what does all that even mean anything if she sleeps around and betrays you. What we want is a wife who loves us, not a model whose heart dont belong to me.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 06:07 AM
1

I met many interesting people during the trip, it makes me feel that i could be happy even without her and there are many ways to live a meaningful life and a person can indeed achieve a lot as long as you try. I kinda no longer need someone to give me constant validation to feel happy about myself and hope i can spread the light in me to others. I actually asked her to go with me before and after the court, and obviously, I was rejected. I still texted her at the beginning of the trip, but her …
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 05:59 AM
2

Well, what I did is change the narrative. From our milestones to my milestone. We wanted to go to New Zealand together, so after divorce I went alone. I will do the same for the rest, North Pole, South Pole, and Alaska, slowly but surely. This includes other milestones like dream home and so. Yes, we no longer have the same person around us to achieve our goals together, but it doesn't stop us from experiencing, enjoying life, and being kind to ourselves. In the beginning, I just followed our in…
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 01:26 AM
1

Maybe just break off from the girl you had affair with. Admit that you make a mistake and be a good person from today. Everyone makes a mistake. It is okay to make mistakes, but you cannot expect validation from friends when you are the wrong one. Parents usually support their kid unconditionally, right or wrong. I believe if I am your friend and I see you repenting, I won't be so harsh on you. As a friend, if I see my buddy cheat on his wife and end up in a bad spot, I am unlikely to support hi…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 11:03 AM
1

Sad to say, but my experience is similar to yours. Things won't get better because you will continue to feel bad and insecure because she is reluctant to change, and she may even blame you for her cheating behaviour. Yes, she may be caring at other things, and she may have been with you at your lowest, but do you really want to feel abandoned again and again? And even if you stick to her, I believe you already find her distancing herself from you, and eventually, you may become like me, dumped b…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 10:49 AM
1

Well, my dad was happy and cried when I got married. He knew I was making a mistake and warned me before. But he supported me anyway because i am his son, and I am a very stubborn person. When I divorced, he just told me i needed this lesson to grow to be a better person. Now, his words become my motto, "Accept that anything can happens and everything that has happened." I think that's what it takes to be a man. I am grateful towards him for always having my back. Come home anytime he said, ther…
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 11:26 AM
2

Maybe just let the young women know how you think. Maybe just tell her you are not ready to commit yet because of your past marriage. If she thinks you are the one, she will stay. We have already gone through a marriage. I dont think at this point we should repeat our mistakes or take time to see hope it works. Just be who you are and progress the relationship at your pace, staying true to yourself. The right one will stay.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 11:00 AM
2

I think cuz you haven't detached from her emotionally while she was probably long gone. Even months after divorce, I still feel the same way as you do. Every morning, the wave of emotions just gets to me. Eventually, you just learn to live with it because there is nothing you can do. My ex-wife and I still talk and have dinner together at the beginning of the divorce, but eventually, it just stops. She didn't even reply to my text when I asked her how she was doing. It is as if all the memories …
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 10:53 AM
3

Nice ghost fans here too
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 03:37 PM
1

Not very often. Once to twice per month at the beginning of divorce and seperation. That's when I realise this is not what I seek. Good time, but ya transactional, and you are just another guy. Feels good to have someone to hold to. Also, there are many scammers out there. Trust me, the process of finding a legit one can be painful too. I only do it because I was feeling so angry and suffocating that time.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 05:32 AM
4

You dont. Confidence comes from within. You can find escort and online dating, but they only boost your ego temporarily. Maybe stop seeking validation, accept you will be single for life, and you dont need to have sex to be happy. This is what I am doing. If it comes, good. If not, it is okay too.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 11:40 AM
2

I have good friends who ate every meal with me, chatted with me, and helped me to get through. I do yoga and running, too. Occasionally, when I become sexually frustrated, I will go to escort (dont recommend if you are not that type of guy), and I used dating apps to chat with people. Generally, you just live with loneliness and depression. On and off, I will break down, but ya, life moves on.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 06:59 AM
4

Agree with your point. Maybe i dont get the part where their feelings are so strong on the validation part. I understand now that history tends to repeat itself. If she never learned how love works with me, she won’t learn it with the next guy either — it’s just a matter of how long he can endure. To her, I became the enemy, which is why she treated me so badly and spoke as if being with me was unbearable, even though I did nothing to deserve it. In time, the truth will reveal itself, because ac…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 10:37 AM
4

My advice is be prepared that you will still have the same feeling after divorce though less hurtful. You need to lift yourself up, love yourself when no one loves you. Accept loving others more doesn't mean they will do the same for you (care about you). In general, low or no expectations on things you have no control about and focus on what you can control, aka what you can do to make yourself happier.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 03:42 AM
2

Same here. I just use dating app to talk to people online. Mostly scammers and mentally ill women but I did meet a nice one. I went to bar and club alone too and met some great dudes. Just interact with more people, man or women doesn't matter. You just need someone to talk to and have meals with. It will help temporary but ultimately you have to accept that you are divorced and that a single life may be for life. That way you can focus on living your life more, have a hobby or so.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 03:37 AM
1

Nope. Exactly the same case but we met in high school. I think it has to something to do with who you are with.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 03:31 AM
5

If she is your STBXW, then you shouldn't be bothered. She can and will do what she wants to. In her mind, she doesn't care about how you think or feel. She may even do things deliberately to get whatever she wants, and those actions will only hurt you if your mind is still thinking of US. Only way to save yourself is take care of yourself, keep your important things with you, save your own soul, stay away from her. Once divorce, you guys are not even friend, so you can expect the worst.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 03:24 AM
8

Some people are just doing this to justify their actions, to make themselves feel better. Mine did the same and start dating a guy soon after and didn't bother if I die or not.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 03:17 AM
7

I feel you bro. We tried out best. This is not on us, the weight is not on us. We can't make someone loves us if she doesn't want to. Let's treat it as fate, some people are not destined to be together for life. I hope this is the closure you want.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 03:14 AM
2

If a person wants to leave you, she will still leave you regardless of what you did, your position won't be better. When a bad thing happens, the rest just follow. I believe most of us feels that. If you don't have any commitment, maybe consider going to a new place that is more affordable, work anywhere that helps you to sustain your life since you only take care of yourself now, without a meal or two is nothing to us guys. Also, think about the bright side, at least she can't hurt you anymore.…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 03:08 AM
3

Lose nth, have nth to lose too.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 05:12 AM
1

Yes I have decided to remain no contact to stop the hurting
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 01:59 PM
1

I see. Thanks for the advice. I think I really have to face the truth of living alone and move on before I move into a new relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 01:28 AM
1

We dont have kids together, but 1/3 of my life is with her. Understood, i will just stay out of the way to protect my own mental health.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 01:27 AM
1

Thanks, man. I am focusing on myself but still can't control my urge to reach out to her. I feel pathetic sometimes that I am even willing to be a rebound for her new relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 01:03 AM
1

Thanks for the encouragement
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 01:01 AM
1

Thanks man. I am trying hard to get no contact with her. Thanks for the tips, I think focusing on the negatives will help.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 12:59 AM
1

Well, you are still going to think of her. I was at the end of my trip. I think time helps. For me, travelling is always a me and my wife together thing and she wanted to go to new zealand while i just go wherever she wants so the trip kinda reminds me of how happy I could be if we were here together. Of course, during my trip I met some friends and the gd times are gd and helpful but ultimately you still need to fall back to the same place and face the whole divorce case alone. No one can help …
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 09:35 AM
3

You can message me if you need someone to talk to. This is a painful process and difficult time for you. Talk to people more, it will help a lot. At the very least better than being alone and thinking too much. I had anti depreseent at the start too to cope with it. Go to a bar, hopefully meet some nice fellows that will have a chat and beer with you. Thas what I did and help me to see a different perspective. As a divorce man, our life is no longer the previous traditional one with wife and kid…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 10:17 PM
2

Currently on a solo trip to new zealand. Don't think it helps a single bit.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/25 10:01 PM
2

You have already divorced once. Why go for someone who may cost you a 2nd divorce. Take your time, pick someone who you really want to marry and have a life with. Remember the mistakes from your 1st divorce, and be cautious with your choice.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/25 02:42 AM
2

Hey, I am here to talk if you need it. Life is tough because you have no one to go through it with. I have friends who help me to go through this phase, and I wish you the same for you, too. When you have someone to share your daily life with, no matter how tough it is, it becomes more bearable. Have more friends regardless of gender or just talk to your colleagues. Things do get better, but you need to open yourself up. Be strong, Champ!
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 01:35 PM
2

I stopped going to church almost a decade ago. But after my wife asked for a divorce. I asked myself. What do I do to deserve this, and my divorced colleague told me that when you don't know what the reason is, maybe fate is a good answer to your question. Maybe she is not the right one for you, and hence, you guys are destined to be separated. If you only find out who she is today, you would have wasted more time, time that you could use to enjoy life instead of on someone who doesn't love you.…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 01:29 PM
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