~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Do you satisfy your Captain's sexual desires even when you aren't in the mood? Why or why not?In general, yes. To me, men need sex like women need affection. It's not okay to just deny the person you're with of what they need because you're not into it at the moment. Exceptions: if I'm legitimately upset with him for something we haven't worked through yet (very rare), or I'm sick / honestly can't for some reason. This is super rare, other than that I'm not going to deny his needs or he'll eventually look elsewhere - just like I'd want to if he denied me the love or affection I require a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/12/18 11:36 AM |
| 3 | Tips on being more approachable / following your man's lead (even if you think you're right)?Yes, I definitely think, after spending time in Europe and meeting some of the women here - American women are very open, opinionated, and kind of "loud" - even if they aren't loud, literally, they are loud in their viewpoints and so happy to share them clearly & openly with anyone who wants (or doesn't really want) to hear. Not that European women might not be just as opinionated, but with most of the French or Italian or Swedish or Lithuanian or Romanian or nearly ANY of them - there is a kind… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/18 08:53 PM |
| 2 | Tips on being more approachable / following your man's lead (even if you think you're right)?Often enough. I sometimes feel like he traps me, haha. I don't think he does it intentionally or anything, but it isn't the first time it's come up. I can remember other times saying, "Why do you ask me what I think if you don't want to know," or "Why not just tell me what to do instead of asking me my opinion," etc. Sometimes it's on minor things, sometimes major. Tbh I think it frustrates ME more than HIM. I have NO ISSUE doing what he asks ultimately, doing it his way, being submissive and fo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/18 05:35 PM |
| 2 | Tips on being more approachable / following your man's lead (even if you think you're right)?So right. I should've let him know I figure the bag out. I can't believe I missed that! I was so tied up and rushing, I didn't think of it - but I can easily see how that would've frustrated him. Honestly, I feel like an airhead for missing that. I'll have to keep that in mind in the future. "WHAT. DO. YOU. THINK." I think that needs to be my go-to reply when he asks my opinion or tells me someone else's, rather than just blurting mine out. Probably a better way to get a feel for what he is thin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/18 05:33 PM |
| 1 | Tips on being more approachable / following your man's lead (even if you think you're right)?I get what you mean, but at the same time, I think my goal personally as an RPW is to see where I can make adjustments to help him improve. He's definitely not always perfect, but since I can't hands-on shape him or demand change (nor would I want to), I am hoping to adjust myself to help him adjust himself. I have the sense that my pattern of being overly opinionated, turning down his suggestions, etc., has led to his introducing ideas to me this way - instead of just being direct. If that is t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/18 05:28 PM |
| 2 | Tips on being more approachable / following your man's lead (even if you think you're right)?He definitely in general leaves me to it. He trusts me to complete things and handle things. I think you're right that I need to always use serious caution when he starts off asking what I think. I think he usually means, "This is what I think we should do, but I am trying to break it to you gently." I think I am just more of a blunt person, and would prefer he just tell me. I am more diplomatic and softer, especially now that I'm a little older and RPW-exposed; but I was awful. Very opinionated… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/18 02:51 PM |
| 2 | Tips on being more approachable / following your man's lead (even if you think you're right)?I think you are right on all of this. And I want to find a way to kind of improve. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/18 02:46 PM |
| 1 | Tips on being more approachable / following your man's lead (even if you think you're right)?How do you give your opinion? If you just say it matter as fact he shouldn't get offended. If he has a different opinion you can just say "sure, we can do it your way!" This is what I'm trying to analyse. The person who gave him the tips has a history of being overly thorough - we've even joked about it in the past, that he's notorious for overkill. In his messages, he even said that - "I know he is probably overdoing it, what do you think...?" I was tired and have been up to my neck in paperwor… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/18 02:45 PM |
| 1 | Tips on being more approachable / following your man's lead (even if you think you're right)?It's definitely not that he never wants my opinions, or that we don't sometimes go with my opinion / view on things. But it's hard for me to tell when he genuinely wants my opinion, versus when he is just having difficulty telling me what he wants in a direct way. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/18 02:39 PM |
| 1 | Tips on being more approachable / following your man's lead (even if you think you're right)?Sure, the specific incident yesterday was when I was working on immigration paperwork. Someone at his job who immigrated made a suggestion of additional paperwork we could include, but according to anything I've read / seen - it's not required or needed. He asked me what did I think, I told him I didn't think it was needed and explained why - his frustration grew progressively. I ultimately agreed to include it if he thought we should, and said I wish he had just told me that he wanted it includ… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/18 01:18 PM |
| 2 | Women aging like milk?True. I agree that in general, getting old doesn't look good on most people, when you boil it down to just the physicality. But, men do not see the sudden plunge in SMV / RMV with age the way most women do. I can't prove this, and no one can prove otherwise. It's just what I've seen in life, and something that a lot of people would agree with. Best example: Most popular Hollywood "sex symbol" actresses being quickly cast aside and forgotten as soon as they hit a certain age, replaced by newer mo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/18 06:30 PM |
| 4 | Women aging like milk?That’s great and all, but what you said is that your mom looks younger then her age, not that she looked better at 50 than she did at 30 ^^^^^^ THIS | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/18 06:23 PM |
| 7 | Women aging like milk?You are correct and every time this subject comes up here it's very strange to me the amount of hamstering that starts. It might be true that some women don't learn to maximise their potential until they are older, but it certainly doesn't mean that they wouldn't have had a MUCH higher SMV / RMV if they figured it out in their 20s. TRP and RPW is about blatant truth and reality, even if it doesn't feel nice. I am always surprised at the denial that you see in these posts & comments. It's not rea… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/18 06:22 PM |
| 0 | Women aging like milk?Show me a 50 year old man and up that's a sex magnet, they are all gross at that age. https://theawesomedaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/sexy-older-men-1.jpg https://madelineiva.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/steven-ritts.jpg https://monstersink.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/redefine-older-00.jpg https://i.pinimg.com/474x/17/a0/3e/17a03ef76f01d1e23fbad75e6196bd84--mature-men-older-men.jpg They might not be your type, but I think calling them "gross" is a stretch and is just as small-minded as … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/18 06:17 PM |
| 2 | Women aging like milk?I've never seen a man who looked better with 45 than with 25. Mine does. At 25, he had goofy facial hair, he was scrawny. Granted, he is dark, has amazing skin and looks younger than he is now. But at 45, with dark hair just turning white near his ears, more weight on him (amazing arms) - he is certainly much better looking than he was at 25. Some men wear age very well - not all, but some. Whereas probably all women have their highest physical potential in their 20s. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/18 06:13 PM |
| 29 | Women aging like milk?I bet most men would still rather take home Sofia in her 20s instead of Sofia in her 40s. And would certainly be more likely to want to marry her. This topic comes up here often and women forget that yes, while you might look better now than you did in your 20s, you had much more potential in your 20s and if you had maximised that potential, your SMV / RMV would've far outweighed whatever it is in your 30s or 40s. I am one of those women, but I still know fully well that if I had this knowledge … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/18 05:06 PM |
| 12 | Does anyone practice witchcraft/wicca?Femininity is as powerful as masculinity, simply in different ways. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/18 08:14 AM |
| 2 | Have you ever heard of r/K selection theory? If so, what are your thoughts on it?This is not a sub for RP men. It's a sub for RP women. Their goals are different and RPW are generally not that concerned with what RP men are trying to do. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/18 08:12 AM |
| 1 | Dating younger men?Most any relationship can work, but for me personally, it has not worked with younger men & I would never date one again. I've only been in 4 serious relationships in my life. The first was 3 years older, but we were both too young, and when I started pressing for marriage, he backed off. In walked number 2, who was about a year younger. We were together less than 3 years, he was a man-child, and the entire relationship was a farce. He was never sexually monogamous, he had no real interest in be… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/18 03:28 PM |
| 2 | Sexual experimentation in marriage - inviting someone else into the bedroom...Gotcha. :) There is so much variety here, any type of woman is able to recognise gender differences and prefer a traditional role in the relationship. I think that's the most important use of the word "traditional" in RPW. RPW all agree with traditional gender roles - but beyond that, politics / religion / lifestyle differences are all fair game. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/18 03:06 PM |
| 1 | Sexual experimentation in marriage - inviting someone else into the bedroom...I agree, but at the same time I don't feel pleasure is a minor thing, or that it shouldn't be celebrated in itself - in the right context. There are a lot of ways that pleasure and sex can be healing and positive in a loving, committed relationship. I haven't gotten into a lot of the details and background because it's a lot, but I have a messy past that involved childhood sexual abuse and a lot of guilt and shame imposed on me by my family and the cult they were in. I was very stifled. I fluctu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/18 03:00 PM |
| 4 | Sexual experimentation in marriage - inviting someone else into the bedroom...RP means different things to different people. There are a lot of very traditional, conservative, or religious people in the community - but there's plenty of room for differences. Based on the replies, a lot of women seem disgusted at the idea, but I am not asking for moral opinions. I'm seeking out the members of the community who have tried similar things or are open-minded about it, to give useful tips and pointers. I am morally open-minded. I'm not hung up on traditional moral ideas of righ… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/18 02:45 PM |
| 2 | Sexual experimentation in marriage - inviting someone else into the bedroom...Yes, absolutely different. I am attracted to very feminine, sweet, gentle, innocent women - and I think they draw out what is masculine in me (though I am very feminine myself). They also are usually a bit fragile. They bring out a desire in me to take care of them, nurture them, and protect them. There is also a sexual charge to the desire. With women, I find myself in the more aggressive position, the pursuer. I have also been that way with men in the past (with beta type men), but in my curre… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/18 02:34 PM |
| 1 | Sexual experimentation in marriage - inviting someone else into the bedroom...This is an amazing and well thought out response, but I think you might have misread - the idea is me & another woman having sex, he would be watching and joining in if he wants - but with me, not with her (likely in a sexual position where I'm focused on her, and he's focused on me). At least the first time. you meet the girl first in a nonsexual context where you get to know her. That‘s part of the selection process. She acts like bullshit and drama? Next. You just don‘t like her? Next. She sm… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/18 09:23 PM |
| 1 | Sexual experimentation in marriage - inviting someone else into the bedroom...I get what you're saying. To him, in his own words, me with another woman is not cheating. Me with another man would be. He fantasises about watching me with other men, but we both agree that won't ever happen - it's too much in reality, and will be kept a fantasy. Likewise, him with another woman might be too much for me. I like the idea, but I'm not sure if I like the reality, so I want to hold off with that. Obviously, if I've said yes to it, it wouldn't be cheating. But I'm not quite sure if… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/18 09:16 PM |
| 2 | Sexual experimentation in marriage - inviting someone else into the bedroom...Ty for your comment! I was hoping to see you here, since I know you have some insight and valuable information to add. You're right - why don't I just flat-out ask him? That makes sense, and saves me worrying and wondering. Yes, it's more my kink than his, though he has no complaints about being a part of it & is all for it. Makes sense what you're saying about being a little tougher to orchestrate - porn is an easy fix, but this is a bit more complicated. Another thing I hadn't considered. What… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/18 09:11 PM |
| 1 | Sexual experimentation in marriage - inviting someone else into the bedroom...One of them, yes. I have many of them, as does he. This is one that he suggested we try, completely fine with any boundaries I suggested. Bear in mind we are 33 and 45, experienced, and comfortable with each other sexually. We encourage sharing fantasies with each other, and don't ask the other to do things that they don't want to do. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/18 08:53 PM |
| 1 | Sexual experimentation in marriage - inviting someone else into the bedroom...Thank you for your comment!! Really made me think. I know you said I don't need to reply, but in case it helps clarify things for anyone else who might be able to help me, I will - I consider sex to be pretty special at this point in my life. In my past, no. It didn't mean much at all. Like your husband, I'd say I detach quite a bit. To me, sex is more about physical pleasure / performance in general. But, I wouldn't want that pleasure with someone casual. Only in a committed relationship. I don… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/18 07:28 PM |
| 2 | Sexual experimentation in marriage - inviting someone else into the bedroom...I wouldn't want to ask anywhere else tbh - I don't really take the advice or opinions of women in general to be balanced enough. (I'm sure some are, but I trust the women here a lot more when it comes to thinking with their heads, not their hearts - and about understanding sexual dynamics.) I agree, we need to openly discuss it and be honest & cover all details. I'm just trying to make sure I don't miss any of the details that I would want to cover! Haha. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/18 07:14 PM |
| 1 | Sexual experimentation in marriage - inviting someone else into the bedroom...No, obviously not the only payoff - but I wanted to emphasise that I wouldn't agree to do something that I was not sexually aroused by, in case I was giving the wrong impression - based on the previous comment. This is not a situation in which he is pushing me to do something that I don't find sexually appealing. He's not that type of person, I'm not that type of person. I felt I needed to make that clear. Our relationship is strong, healthy, & respectful. At the same time, if I'm being complete… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/18 07:12 PM |
| 1 | Sexual experimentation in marriage - inviting someone else into the bedroom...I don't want to not be 100000% sure, and then have regrets or resentment. That would be absolutely unfair. It was my sexual fetish / fantasy. He was the first to suggest acting it out. I am into the idea - I just want to have my bases as covered as I can. If he ends up touching her - I'm not sure. In the heat of the moment, like you said, I'd probably want him to. That's also a fantasy of mine. The hands-off policy was more to be sure I don't have any issues with it afterwards - to sort of start… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/18 06:50 PM |
| 4 | Sexual experimentation in marriage - inviting someone else into the bedroom...Our plan. It certainly isn't something he's in any way pushed on me. It's a fantasy of mine, and always has been - which is why I have engaged in exhibitionism in the past. It's a fetish for me, and he knows that. At the same time, I'm not young enough to be naive or throw all caution to the wind. I'm trying to be sure all my angles are covered, since I've marched into these types of things before without properly thinking and planning, and the end results were not always great. I would be doing… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/18 06:45 PM |
| 1 | How does/did your husband feel about marriage?He said within the first few weeks or so of dating that he could imagine me as his wife. The subject went cold for awhile, but then, after about 3 months, we were out and had the most beautiful day - and he told me that night that all day, he'd been looking over at me and imagining that I was his wife, and how much he wanted that. At the same time, it took 3 years for us to finally get married (happening in January). He did NOT like when I got impatient about it or made him feel pressured, or li… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/11/18 08:27 PM |
| 5 | When to truly trust?This is difficult, because people can - and often do - change. People become stronger, or weaker - better, or worse. There is no foolproof way to know if your trust won't eventually be broken - if there was, it wouldn't be trust. The point of trust is that you are choosing to have faith in someone or something, based on your knowledge and experience - but you still must choose to believe in something that isn't 100% guaranteed. That's why it is important to make the most informed choice possible… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/11/18 08:21 PM |
| 1 | How to deal with having an average face?I think what is "in" in the fashion world often doesn't have much to do with what men find attractive. Sometimes, but not always. Trends and fads come and go for short periods in certain places, but if you look at all of human history worldwide, long hair for women has been most revered. The body hair - this is true, I'm not sure. Except I would say that younger women are likely to have less / softer body hair, which is probably preferable to thicker & coarser body hair which can come with age &… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/11/18 09:38 PM |
| 1 | Men are also hypergamousNot any more unreasonable than expecting a woman to stay loyal, when her natural tendency is hypergamy. There are a lot of animal impulses we control. There are a lot of things we do because they are good for us or for humanity, even if they aren't what comes first to us naturally. It's important for women to understand their draw towards branch swinging, and for men to understand their draw towards variety. And, I would say, important for men and women to understand these traits in each other. … | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/11/18 09:31 PM |
| 14 | Losing interest after sex?How long have you guys been together? Any feelings that maybe it was too soon, or are the "really horrible" feelings you are describing related to guilt? I know it's a weird question, especially in this age of sexual "liberation" - but I know I was raised really traditional and sometimes I'd find myself with those feelings of guilt / regret after sex, even when I really wanted to or thought it was the right time. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/10/18 03:09 PM |
| 4 | Unable to orgasm during partnered sexMy guess is a combination of being used to the vibrator, and mentally blocked. From experience, when you're used to the stimulation of a vibrator, your body learns to respond to it, and it's hard for anything to compare to that. Switch to your fingers. It might take awhile for you to orgasm that way, but once your body seeks that, you can use your fingers (or he can) during sex, and your chances are better. Also, mental blockage / age? For me, I had two sexual partners in my 20s, and I only ever… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/10/18 06:21 PM |
| 5 | Feeling very depressed about relationships, sex and men!Men who want relationships are men who do not have options. This is not always true. If it was, no attractive man would ever be in a monogamous relationship, and some are - they are just rare. And, basically, they are what the RPW is seeking and vetting for. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/10/18 10:08 AM |
| 16 | How to Deal with a Man's Love?I agree with other comments that I think your view will expand a bit with time / experience. You say you don't need to be protected and led, but sometimes we "need" things without fully knowing or realising we need them. We don't "need" to drink water, for example - we could survive on soda - but we won't be happy or healthy. So, in a way, we do "need" water. Whether women are aware of it or not, they have a psychological and emotional need for a strong, leading partner - they might not die with… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/10/18 10:25 AM |
| 5 | Morning routine: what do you do for daily skincare/makeup/hair?I use a Hevia night cream & Elizabeth Arden Millennium eye cream every night before bed, after washing my face with warm water and cleanser. In the morning I wash my face again, but with an exfoliating sponge - I can get oily. I use a Hevia day cream to moisturise. I vary my makeup a lot. When I feel like going lighter, I use a water-based, oil-free foundation that just evens out my skin without looking cakey. A little powder for where I tend to get oily - generally, my T-zone. When I want more … | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/10/18 04:59 PM |
| 5 | Where do you stand on religion?I grew up "religious" as in, strictly practising in the church my parents raised me in. But it was never what I really believed. Still, the principles gave me at least some guidance and I had a group of friends. But it was restrictive and I went off the rails partially because of the indoctrinated guilt & confusion. It wasn't what I really believed, and it was messy coming to terms with that. I still believe in spirituality, but I am not part of an organised religion. If I attended a church agai… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/10/18 02:43 PM |
| 2 | I feel that I don't need a manBasically - if a man admires me and pedestalizes me, I really don't see why I need him and I'm not sexually attracted to him. And I acknowledge many men WANT a woman to keep him in line and "civilize" him. I acknowledge that I SHOULD be seen as a queen but I just don't get aroused if he treats me well. This paragraph confused me a little so I'm focusing on it. I relate to some of what you are saying - could it be that you just haven't found the guy with the right balance of alpha/beta traits tha… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/10/18 02:35 PM |
| 2 | Vetting: what are (or were) your personal deal breakers?What do you wish you'd paid more attention to in the past? - Men who can't face up to things - afraid to ask for a raise, afraid to call the landlord with an issue. Little things like this are symptoms of a larger issues. - Men who are great buddies, but don't know how to put me in my place when I am totally out of line. - Men who weren't open and forthcoming about their intentions (marriage, etc., always avoiding the convo) Married and LTRed ladies, did you push past any red flags to be with yo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/10/18 06:10 PM |
| – | Gratitude: What are you thankful for?My daily workout routine is seriously working! On my third week and the results are undeniable. When my fiance and I argue, we are quicker and quicker to reach resolutions, and I'm proud of both of us for that. I am eating so much healthier and I feel better for it! As of the end of the month, we are off of birth control and seeing if / when a baby comes. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/10/18 05:55 PM |
| 1 | What is something you love about your Captain?He knows how to say he's sorry when he needs to. It isn't easy for him, and it doesn't happen often. But when he messes up, he is able to humble himself and say he messed up. It means a lot to me, coming from him, because of who he is. Because he is a proud and strong person, it just somehow means more. It's hard to explain. He has difficulties showing his vulnerability, so when he does, it honestly just melts me. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/10/18 05:51 PM |
| 1 | Dealing with repercussionsIt sounds like you are in a really emotionally place right now, and that can start to do a lot of damage if you aren't careful. You might feel justified in your sadness or disappointment, but it's really not entirely fair to make it his problem. You have to find a way to step back from all your feelings before they bog down the relationship further. It sounds to me like there's a risk he will start to see you as needy and controlling. I see that you aren't trying to be that way - you just prefer… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/10/18 11:30 AM |
| 2 | Have a good laugh with your manKatt Williams is a comic genius!!! | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/18 06:03 PM |
| 35 | Playing hard to get vs. being too "easy"?I don't know the official RPW consensus, or if there is one, but I can give my view! :) I would say that "playing" hard to get is playing games, and in general, playing games is not a good thing. To "play" hard to get means that are you aren't, in fact, hard to get - when, really, as a high-value woman, we should have standards and requirements. It's better to genuinely be high-value, and there won't need to be any "playing." Definitely be feminine over masculine, even in early dating. But also,… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/18 04:20 PM |
| 5 | Alpha / Beta ----> Madonna / Whore? (Discussion)The more real the want is for each other, the stronger the relationship is and brings out the best “alpha/whore” pieces in each, as well as those balanced “beta/madonna” roles. I totally get this & agree 100%. Ideally, all these traits are blended, balanced, and show in a good relationship. And I agree that the fire needs to be there and be strong for the rest of it to keep working. A lot of focus is given in RP in general on men keeping up their alpha traits to keep things going. I was thinking… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/18 09:18 AM |
| 2 | Alpha / Beta ----> Madonna / Whore? (Discussion)Hahaha!!!!! Also called virgin / whore I think? Maybe I should've used that, lol. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/18 09:06 AM |
| 1 | Alpha / Beta ----> Madonna / Whore? (Discussion)I get this & I agree. It makes a lot of sense. Rather that so much looking to make it equal to or a match to the variation / spectrum of men, I was just thinking it could be a useful way for women to examine their own tendencies and behaviours, and find balance where they need it. It might be a smaller spectrum, or an easier balance to find, but still useful. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/18 09:06 AM |
| 1 | Alpha / Beta ----> Madonna / Whore? (Discussion)Could be true, but in the context I mean here, I'm basically separating out motherly qualities from - say - girlfriend qualities. Looking at them as two ends of a spectrum, for the sake of discussion. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/18 09:02 AM |
| 6 | Alpha / Beta ----> Madonna / Whore? (Discussion)I'm not talking specifically about the textbook psychological syndrome as it is diagnosed, as much as using the expression to think about two ends of a spectrum in feminine personality traits (sexuality vs. nurturing). | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/18 05:21 PM |
| 6 | Alpha / Beta ----> Madonna / Whore? (Discussion)YES. Exactly all this. It doesn't always line up exactly with some RP theory, but I get where you are coming from. I can't analyse it out because I don't exactly understand it. But for example - my fiance wants me to be only his and cheating is so off-limits, but is simultaneously repulsed / turned-on by imagining me with other men or imagining my sexual past. It does something for him sexually and turns our bedroom into a madhouse. In a good way. I think it's all in the balance, just like you a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/18 05:20 PM |
| 11 | Alpha / Beta ----> Madonna / Whore? (Discussion)True, in your relationship it sounds like a good balance! Like you've found the sweet spot. But the equivalent might be a woman who leans more toward the sexual / passionate end of the spectrum - at the expense of being less "wifey." She's hot, but prickly; sexy and exciting, but not cuddly. And she doesn't like cooking and cleaning. (Tbh, that sounds like me when I was younger, lol. And that was a bad thing.) Or, on the other end, she bakes cookies all the time and loves 17th century romance no… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/18 05:05 PM |
| 11 | Alpha / Beta ----> Madonna / Whore? (Discussion)Such a good quote, haha. Yeah, that's basically exactly what I'm getting at. The delicate balance of the two extreme ends of the spectrum. With men, we call it alpha / beta. And there are entire systems built on that concept. I'm just wondering if there isn't something going on, albeit less discussed, on a comparable but entirely different female spectrum. Traits ranging from the highly sexual, passionate but (red flag) crazy end, to the tender, caring and nurturing but (red flag) boring end. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/18 04:42 PM |
| 3 | What do you all give your SO as birthday/Christmas gifts?Mine is so hard to shop for. He's coming for a visit in a few weeks (we're long-distance atm) and I bought him a nice watch. He used to wear jewellery when he was younger, but he ended up with a career change and he now can't wear jewellery at work, so he fell out of the habit. But he just seems like such a watch-type person. I am a little worried he'll never wear it, but I'm hoping for nice days / dressing up, he will. He also is a gadget hound. Any and every little techno-gadget, he loves. Blu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/18 10:00 AM |
| 2 | Feminine vs Masculine Energy: Surrender and NonresistanceI'm glad it helped! I haven't read A Course in Miracles yet, but it's on my to-do list. This one is definitely amazing, and I love the concept of surrender in general. My all-time favourite is The Untethered Soul - and by the same author, The Surrender Experiment. Just great reads. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/18 09:56 AM |
| 2 | Taking care of your appearance at homeI totally agree! Though yes, it's practical to be comfortable, you can be comfortable without looking slovenly. I used to reach for ripped stained teeshirts, stretch pants, etc. Now, I put at least a little makeup on, even if I'm only home for the day. I have cute pink matching pyjamas and slinky little night dresses. Even my more "cosy" pjs are matching, pink, and girly. I don't think you ever need to look super sloppy, tbh. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/10/18 12:59 PM |
| 1 | First Mate in the First TrimesterYeah, I'm trying not to think about it too much. We haven't officially started yet - not til my next cycle. He's had an easy time (too easy) in the past, but that was his first wife, and it might be different for me. I have never been pregnant so I have no idea. I'll try not to overthink it! Hard once your clock is ticking, since I'm already 33 & want two kids. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/10/18 12:51 PM |
| 4 | First Mate in the First TrimesterJust want to thank you for this post. I'm 33, and this month fiance & I are going to start trying for our first. He has kids from his previous marriage, but I thought I didn't want any. I changed my mind. This kind of covered some of the things I worry about (fertility at a slightly older age, what to expect emotionally, etc), and so I really appreciate your sharing. I have never read a single book, blog, or - tbh - listened to a single conversation between friends when it turned to pregnancy ta… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/09/18 06:54 PM |
| 2 | I don't want a trad-con manI get what you are saying. I think a lot of that outlook comes from risk reduction. In a safe, committed, relationship - experimentation is up to the couple. Boundaries are up to them. But for the women who are still dating, etc, using drugs and having threesomes will not make their vetting experience easy. Like I think someone else said, you gotta take what applies to you and toss out the rest. But not everyone here would be appalled by what you are saying - it's just not gonna work for everyon… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/09/18 09:48 PM |
| 7 | I don't want a trad-con manI think a committed BDSM relationship fits really well into an RPW dynamic also. I get what you are saying, I just don't tend to like the blanket statements that ALL the women are here this way or that way. There's a lot of grey area and variety in this community. And it's possible to be a lady on the street and a freak in the sheets, lol. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/09/18 09:43 PM |
| 22 | I don't want a trad-con manJust because the women here aren't giving details of their sex lives doesn't mean they are vanilla and I don't think it's a fair assumption. I don't go to church. I own my own business. My fiance and I have had plenty of extremely wild sex - sometimes in public. We have sex toys and leashes. When we are in a safe environment - just us - we've experimented with some mind-altering substances. I also want kids, love to cook, want to bake cakes, and love wearing dresses and home decorating. Expand t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/09/18 09:36 PM |
| 9 | I don't want a trad-con manNot everyone on the sub is married, though. A lot aren't. So the sub is about being the type of high-value woman who attracts a typically thought of high-value man. If your husband finds drugs, threesomes, etc, high-value - that's great for you guys. But you can't whine and expect that this sub is going to conform to your specific rare relationship dynamic. You are not the majority. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/09/18 09:31 PM |
| 16 | I don't want a trad-con manThere's a massive gap between "1950s stepford" and women who don't want "to get wasted and have sex in a bathroom stall... explore inviting other people into our bed or experiment with drugs." Pretty small minded to put everything so black and white. This sub is about being respectable, high-value, and attractive. Most women here (and men, and just people in general) would not find the above described behaviour to be respectable, high-value, or attractive. There are some. But you probably won't … | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/09/18 09:15 PM |
| 9 | I don't want a trad-con manThe 'perfect' relationship according to this sub Nope, you wouldn't believe how many of these work as nurses, day care specialists, own their own business, hell I think I've even read one from a female doctor recently. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/09/18 09:13 PM |
| 7 | I have an extreme jealousy of red pill men. It’s honestly getting me down.You are assuming that happiness is the same for men and women. It's not. If I'm going to be totally honest, my personal opinion is that - even for (most) men - sleeping around is not the key to true happiness. It's fun, it makes them feel good, it meets some needs. But so does being a husband, father, having a family to care for, etc. This is more true for women. Living this way will not make them truly, deeply content and satisfied. To say that nothing women can do would be equal to men is just… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/09/18 06:55 PM |
| 1 | A dark pastHmmm, idk. I mean asking for help when you truly need it is important, especially from your family, mental health professionals, etc. But in the context I meant - a new / developing friendship or relationship, and trying to "make them feel sympathy / affection for me" - keyword being make - I don't think it's a good idea. Using trauma to elicit sympathy is playing the victim. It's different if its a lifelong best friend, or your mother. But a relatively new partner or friend? It sets up a weird … | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/09/18 10:10 AM |
| 10 | A dark pastI have lived through some similar things, I'm sure, as you. Since this is an anonymous place - I've been hospitalised for mental issues. I've self-injured. I've taken too many pills without knowing what they were and didn't care if I died. I was abused as a kid. I could go on, but you get the idea, and there's no reason to. I went into therapy young, got a lot of diagnoses and a lot of medication. I found that when I felt the need to give all this information about myself in a relationship - any… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/09/18 04:35 PM |
| 8 | The absence of "feel".That would imply that adult women never behave like that. I assure you, unfortunately, some of them do. They might be immature, but they are definitely adult size. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/09/18 04:13 PM |
| 4 | The absence of "feel".I agree. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/09/18 01:49 PM |
| 13 | The absence of "feel".I wouldn't blanket this so much as a female issue in general. There are a lot of women who will not relate to this - who love peace, tranquillity, calmness, in their relationships. But there are women - and, yes, men - who don't. I'd say it's more of a personality issue, though it's probably more women than men who have this issue. I'd chalk it up to an addiction to highs & lows. If I'm honest, I've struggled with this myself. I was a turbulent, passionate, emotional person - and a mess. And my … | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/09/18 01:44 PM |
| 5 | The absence of "feel".I agree that this sounds a lot like BPD. But I will also say, I have known a disproportionate number of women with a BPD diagnosis. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/09/18 01:38 PM |
| 4 | Advice on working from home?I work from home, and have off & on for over 10 years. I started off doing anything and everything - finding websites that would contract me for admin work. I didn't like that. I ended up browsing around Etsy, figuring ways I could make things / find things (antique, vintage, paintings) that I could sell. It took a long time to learn what the heck I was doing, but now I sell on eBay & other places / apps. It's a respectable, decent-sized business now. But it took time & effort. I still love it, … | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/18 02:15 PM |
| 1 | Struggling to adjust to RP dating mindsetJust keep learning, and try to thicken your skin. As women, we can sometimes be really sensitive and take things personally. That gets us into a lot of trouble and I think RP helps to get us over that, so we can learn to interact with the world - and especially men - more on men's terms. Being vulnerable and sensitive is good, with our close friends & our partner. But not as a general rule. The world is tough, and in some ways, you'll have to be, too. As far as that feminine balance - it's not a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/18 02:11 PM |
| 7 | Struggling to adjust to RP dating mindsetI'm late to this one and a lot has been said, I just wanted to add one thing: for RP to work the MAN has to be the one to move heaven and earth to make it happen. This is not true, and thinking this way - I'm afraid - might sabotage you if you don't straighten it out a bit. While the man is meant to be the leader, the aggressor, we as women - as First Mates - get on THEIR boats, not the other way around. From the other comments I see he broke up with you in an unexpected way, etc., and it sounds… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/18 10:13 AM |
| 1 | Daily At-Home Body Weight Workout RoutineThere are tricep dips, as well as push ups which will work triceps. Also, wall tricep push-ups. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/09/18 05:28 PM |
| 5 | Was dating a guy and thought we could overcome cultural differences, later felt he couldn't be a captain. Help?I do get this. Fiance himself even tells me that what Hinduism teaches and how Indian Hindus behave is not always in line. Go figure. That's most religion, haha. Most of fiance's issues are with his older brother, as well - it's such a patriarchal culture, and his older brother was an underachiever who leeched off their parents. Fiance is very success-oriented, leadership qualities, charismatic, everyone's favourite. Caused a ton of envy. Older brother is the worst of all of them for trying to t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/09/18 05:25 PM |
| 1 | Daily At-Home Body Weight Workout RoutineOoooh thanks for the tip, I am searching now! EDITED TO ADD: a lot of this does require more equipment then I have access to atm, but I will save for later. :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/09/18 03:44 PM |
| 2 | Daily At-Home Body Weight Workout RoutineDefinitely will depend on how fit you are - I have to stop for rest / water, but I was literally sedentary before. Today, my session took an hour. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/09/18 02:36 PM |
| 3 | Was dating a guy and thought we could overcome cultural differences, later felt he couldn't be a captain. Help?Yeah, it is really really different. It was a bit of a culture shock for me - it took me a long time to fully understand it. He needed to be 10000% sure that I was here to stay before I met his kids. That was when he basically had to make the moves to let his family know that he wasn't going to give in to their pressure. But it was a major risk for him, and he is now very alienated from his family - so it wasn't going to happen until it was the right time for him & he knew I was going to be his … | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/09/18 12:53 PM |
| 8 | Was dating a guy and thought we could overcome cultural differences, later felt he couldn't be a captain. Help?My situation isn't totally similar, but maybe a little? My fiance is British Indian, with parents from India. His mother is a devout Hindu, but he isn't religious & is much more connected to his British heritage. I wouldn't be surprised if I never meet his parents. For a long time, I was only a suspicion they had. Now, I'm a taboo subject. His family disapproves of him because he divorced his first wife - she was from India, it was an arranged marriage, and she still lives with his family. They … | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/09/18 10:16 AM |
| 6 | Falling fast. Please some advice.I'm sure they love it. Doesn't mean they wife it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/18 04:06 PM |
| 8 | Falling fast. Please some advice.Then she shouldn't be sleeping with him left right and center. Good women are selective, too. We want their commitment. They want our sex. It's an exchange, not an all-you-can-eat buffet. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/18 03:49 PM |
| 16 | Falling fast. Please some advice.Just keep it casual as long as he wants Really? I mean, it's great that you're happy and this worked for you, but would you advise most girls to take this approach? You are the exception, not the rule. Don't you think this would lead to a lot of women getting pumped & dumped, which is basically the exact opposite of what the women on this sub want? | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/18 03:35 PM |
| 8 | Falling fast. Please some advice.This sounds like a mess, and tbh I think you need some time off from dating to figure things out a bit. I think he has every intention with sleeping with as many girls at once as he can, and I don't think you should bet on changing that. On top of that, the more men you are with sexually that don't turn into a commitment (marriage), the more you are decreasing your own value and making it less and less likely that you WILL land the type of guy you probably want to be with. Don't let desperation … | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/18 03:30 PM |
| 2 | How to deal with having an average face?Like most things, it's a subconscious evolutionary thing. Most men wouldn't even be able to explain it. They just react to it. Thick, shiny, healthy hair is a sign of youth & health, therefore fertility. It sends off the alarms in a man's head to pounce. Just think of a woman's hair as she gets old or ill, and it makes sense. Healthy, youthful hair = healthy, youthful woman. And long > short, as a general rule, for the same reasons. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/18 03:26 PM |
| 2 | DebtSame! Being a SAHM doesn't mean being lazy. I am able to work from home, but I am definitely working, lol. Not to get too religious-y, as tbh I am not textbook "religious" (though I was raised to be so), but it's Proverbs where a mother gives advice to her son, who is a king, about picking a good wife. I don't know the entire context, but I'm sure as the wife of a king, a woman wouldn't have to work. And yet, the woman described knows how to find a bargain, sell in the marketplace, etc. She basi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/18 04:31 PM |
| 6 | DebtIf I hadn't had the potential to be a financial support, I don't think our relationship would've gotten anywhere. Because of his family background, he had been in an arranged marriage. She never worked - either outside or inside of the home. (This is a bit unusual for Asian women, who are often at least good wives / mothers - but she was inactive in all ways.) He had been basically burdened by marriage most of his life, and was not at all interested in having it happen again. But what actually d… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/18 04:03 PM |
| 7 | His type was the complete physical opposite of me. I still have a hang-up about it.I think women often make the mistake of imagining men judge beauty / attractiveness the same way women do. I also think we forget how incredibly powerful the Coolidge effect is. (Basically, that a man is sexually aroused by variety, and prefers a new, different mate - it's evolutionary, biological, & really important.) So even if a man himself claims to have a so-called type - chances are, he likes variety more than he likes this so-called "type." We women are less prone to this, so we forget ho… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/18 10:17 AM |
| 10 | Aggressive woman looking to tone it down.Try to keep reminding yourself that by being the aggressor or flirting too much, you might be making him feel like you're taking his options away or making choices for him. I think sometimes we women act forward in a relationship for two reasons - 1) we like it when men are aggressive, direct, and let us know they want us, and so we assume they like it too, and 2) it has worked for us at times in the past. The guys who told you that you were aggressive - it must've worked on them, because they w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/18 09:10 AM |
| 7 | How to deal with having an average face?Exactly. It's a trick girls play on themselves when they are bit overweight and don't want to have to lose the weight. I know, I was one of them. I have always had an above average face, and I felt like it was okay to be a little fat. I thought I had a free pass to be chubby. It's a lie. This mentality is damaging both to pretty girls who are overweight, and girls with less pretty faces who feel they can't make up for it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/18 06:30 PM |
| 1 | How to deal with having an average face?If you are referring to ONLY the bbc link referring to ONLY UK women 25-34. I'm not sure what you are trying to prove here. American women are overweight / obese on average, and so are most women in the UK OVERALL. Isolating it by age / location / religion / ethnicity / favourite colour / whether they are married or single doesn't prove anything. The average woman in these countries, regardless of all these isolating breakdowns, is overweight. Which is what "average" means. The OP never said she… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/18 06:23 PM |
| 2 | How to deal with having an average face?The average BMI for women age 20 and older is 28.7. Women 80 years and older have the lowest average BMI, at 26.7, followed by those between 20 and 29 years old, at 27.5, and women from 60 to 69 have the highest, at 29.6. https://www.livestrong.com/article/141665-the-average-bmi-age/ About 44% of women 25-34 in England are overweight, obese or very obese https://www.bbc.com/news/health-43697948 Helpful UK chart here: https://www.statista.com/statistics/375886/adult-s-body-mass-index-by-gender-an… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/18 06:05 PM |
| 3 | How to deal with having an average face?From my above comment: "The average American woman has a BMI of 26.5. The OP might not be American, but I am - so an "average" body, in my mind, is an overweight body. Maybe you are not American, or the OP isn't. Not sure. But if OP is, or you are, it's good to realise what an "average" body is in the USA." Even in the UK - where I'm moving - the average woman has a BMI of 26.9. Even more overweight. Overweight IS average in more and more places. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/18 06:00 PM |
| 3 | How to deal with having an average face?The average American woman has a BMI of 26.5. The OP might not be American, but I am - so an "average" body, in my mind, is an overweight body. Maybe you are not American, or the OP isn't. Not sure. But if OP is, or you are, it's good to realise what an "average" body is in the USA. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/18 05:56 PM |
| 10 | How to deal with having an average face?It's not fair. But "fair" doesn't matter. I think RP is about accepting that and dealing with the cards you're dealt, instead of worrying about what's fair or trying to fight against reality. It is what it is. Thankfully, for the majority, weight is more controllable than the face you are born with. The reason I'm saying this is OP said men care more about face than body. I disagree, and I believe thinking this way is a self-sabotage and might make someone give up - or not try to be in shape - t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/18 05:42 PM |
| 6 | Age Appropriate/RPW approved places to shop?I agree with thrift stores. Pick fabrics that feel good to touch (silky, velvets, etc), and brighter colours - not blacks, greys, etc. If you are thin and want to look curvier, try push up bras, peplum tops, bardot / off-the-shoulder tops, fitted blazers, high-waist bottoms, fit-and-flare / skater dresses or flared skirts, wrap dresses, and skinny belts at your waist. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/18 09:22 AM |
| 60 | How to deal with having an average face?I disagree that men care more about face than body. Most men would prefer a banging body & okay face, to a fat-but-pretty girl. Make sure your body and hair are as great as you can make them. Those are very important. Learn to wear the best possible makeup for you - highlight your eyes. Whiten your teeth. Wear heels & skirts & dresses. Carry yourself with composure. Don't overestimate importance of face, or underestimate the rest of it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/18 08:56 AM |
| 2 | How to dress better?I have a similar body type & don't like wearing dresses & skirts regularly, though those are what looks best on me! I go with high-waist jeans and loosely tucked-in tops. Basically, your small waist / curves are your best asset, and you wanna highlight that as much as you can. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/09/18 11:34 AM |
| 17 | What are some universal tips on improving your SMV? (Physical only).I think The Rules Revisited is a great resource on this. Especially posts like this, which talks about how much women can increase their attractiveness, and how to do so. There's even a breakdown of the most important factors of attractiveness. Fitness is 30%. Facial structure is 20%, but that's not controllable without surgery (but can be really improved with contouring / highlighting, when done well!). Hair is 7%, makeup is 5%. And so on. This chart is pretty informative too. While not perfect… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/09/18 04:54 PM |
| 2 | What do you fight about most?So true! And tbh makes me think of another difference between us - I have to talk decisions through, think of all possible choices, etc. Whereas, by the time he comes to me with a decision he's made, he's already done that. Sometimes it leaves my head spinning like, wait - but what? Did you think of - but why - what about???? Drives him nuts, because he's very instinctual & quick to decide, he goes with his gut and sometimes just knows things. And I want to be caught up on the thoughts that went… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/09/18 03:59 PM |
| 3 | What do you fight about most?Just keep it to yourself instead of voicing a bad outcome as an option. Exactly that! It's hard to remember to do that, haha. I think another really key difference in men & women is that women really feel they are being helpful, useful, etc., by sharing other options, or opposing views. And I don't think most men are fans of that. If I had to really analyse it, I think sometimes women have learned to not appear controlling by framing their input as "advice" or "information." That could even incl… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/09/18 03:56 PM |
| 2 | What do you do best?This is a nice, positive question! I like! Our strengths: - Business. When we met, he was saving cash but basically had nothing. I was sitting on some cash but basically had nothing. I had a small business that was making me less than a part-time job. Since we've met, we bought a house which we now rent out and we invested & grew the business into a respectable full-time income - and it's still growing. We're growing our assets, and saving for the next house. I have a head for details and creati… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/09/18 03:08 PM |
| 6 | What do you fight about most?Eh, tbh, if being myself means always highlighting or mentioning a negative point or downside, I don't want to be that version of myself. I come from a long line of really negative people. My mom, grandmother, brother. And I've had a lot of issues with anxiety / depression / negativity. I don't even see it in myself until he points it out. When he suggests something or asks me to do something, it's never just a straight "yes." It's a "yes, but..." with a negative point. Just a bad habit that's p… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/09/18 06:16 PM |
| 2 | What do you fight about most?He’ll be complaining about something or someone (ex. a client is being rude to him) and I’ll offer another way of seeing it (ex. that person just started a new stressful job so don’t take it personally) and he blows up at me I relate! I get this one too. But it can expand into a lot of things with us. Like, picking out a piece of furniture. I try to show him all the available options, he loses his shit. Men don't want to hear every possible angle, every possible option, every different way of se… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/09/18 12:49 PM |
| 7 | What do you fight about most?Our most recent common argument is what he perceives as my negativity. Which, funny enough, I perceive as normal conversation. I.e., he'll say, "Let's watch this new movie such-and-such." I reply, "Sure, sounds good, the preview for that looked amazing. But I did hear the reviews weren't great." He'll get angry and tell me he doesn't want my negativity. Seems to repeat itself all over our relationship, lol. I think I'm just sharing relevant information, he finds it intolerable. So trying to figu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/09/18 12:47 PM |
| 1 | Men are also hypergamousWhether or not something is accepted in a culture has little bearing on whether it is natural to a person. Whether polygamy has been considered socially or culturally acceptable - or whether having multiple wives was sanctioned - has nothing to do with whether or not men are wired to want sex with multiple women. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/09/18 12:22 PM |
| 5 | How to be more feminine / improve your relationships & RMV: Your Inner Cavewoman GathererSame! I own a business & work from home. He helps me with my business, and I help him with his job. I do his paperwork / accounting, he makes investing decisions and helps with the excess work I can't get finished at home. It's very much a team effort, but he is the primary breadwinner. I'm also a very visual learner - I remember things best in analogies and examples. This concept kind of drove the point home in my head - the complementary roles and how to improve on what men need most from thei… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 03:41 PM |
| 3 | How to be more feminine / improve your relationships & RMV: Your Inner Cavewoman GathererYes, I agree. Maybe I should have included a disclaimer? Was not meant to be a history lesson, so much as looking at the male role as the wandering hunter vs the female role as the nurturing gatherer. Men as focused on going out and women focused on being what those men come back to. Of course, men don't have to go out and club their dinner to death now, and women don't have to literally farm. It was more a thought about what men and women are traditionally suited for, and having equal complemen… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 03:36 PM |
| 7 | How to be more feminine / improve your relationships & RMV: Your Inner Cavewoman GathererLol I get you. Was more about taking the concept of the hunter and the gatherer archetypes and applying them to a modern relationship - not so much historical accuracy. Deep down, those early instincts are still there, even in modern one-on-one relationships. So, we can adapt our modern monogamous relationships to honour those primal instincts. As our primal instincts haven't yet been worn away by modern life / relationships - which is where RP comes in. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 03:16 PM |
| 1 | I suffer from perfectionism/low self-worth and it's hindering my relationships.I recently dated a super successful guy who had ex-girlfriends Keyword: ex-girlfriends. He might not even fully know why he's not still with them. Or maybe he really does believe that what was most attractive about them was their career success - but he's not with them now. Most men, deep down, don't care that much about this stuff. Unless they are really BP or indoctrinated with feminist thinking, which might not be the right kind of guy for someone with RP leanings anyway. This may have a lot … | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 02:44 PM |
| 4 | I suffer from perfectionism/low self-worth and it's hindering my relationships.Men don't care that much whether you are funny or creative. They prefer boring & sweet & kind, over funny & creative & insane & full of drama any day of the week. You have probably seen this yourself but are missing it. I know some of my exes - who see me as the "crazy" ex - left me & ended up with very bland, normal girls. Now, I get it. Men would prefer a nice, boring girl who takes meds with scars, to a creative-but-unhinged girl with scars. Any day of the week. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 12:01 PM |
| 5 | I suffer from perfectionism/low self-worth and it's hindering my relationships.I can't quite put my finger on it, but I feel like you are overemphasising the importance of things like career, salary, creativity, being "funny," and intelligence. And under-emphasising the importance of relationships, pleasantness, and receptivity. I saw in another comment that you may feel like you have to settle for whatever guy you can get. Yet, you say you are in the best situation of your life. I am reading a lot of mixed signals and I don't think you're being totally honest with yoursel… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 11:54 AM |
| 5 | Men are also hypergamousI think most men - who are sexually "normal"ish - would be very happy to have anonymous, safe sex with as many attractive women as they felt like, without emotional connection required. There will always be exceptions - men who need emotional connection for sex, or men who are asexual, or men who would be intimidated by feeling inadequate. But they are the exceptions, not the rule. Most men would say yes to safe, empty sex with her, and her, and her, and her... | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 10:52 AM |
| 6 | Men are also hypergamous^^^ This. Lol. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 10:48 AM |
| 7 | I suffer from perfectionism/low self-worth and it's hindering my relationships.This is a tough one, and I can only share my own experience & opinion. Sorry this is long. I was diagnosed with all the things you were, plus more. I started therapy, meds, etc., 17 years ago. Up until about 2-3 years ago, I was in a really bad state. I thought all my problems were related to my diagnoses. I had a lot of frustration, bitterness, and resentment. There were things about myself I loved - I'm also very creative, played guitar, wrote songs, painted. I am intelligent, love to read, & … | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 10:46 AM |
| 10 | Men are also hypergamousMen are polygamous. If men had the option, they would sleep with any / all women they liked or found attractive. Men "trade in" or leave their wives because they know their wives would not be okay with this arrangement. Or, the new woman (or women) he wants to sleep with are not okay with this arrangement. If a man's wife was 100% fine with him sleeping with other people, and she stayed pleasant, loving, and sexually attracted / available to him - while he also could sleep with any other woman h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/18 09:49 AM |
| 1 | Do you need religion to increase your RMV?I don't think it's needed, but I do think subscribing to some kind of elevated moral code of standards, kindness, and deeper meaning in life can help a person be more attractive. But it doesn't need to be religious. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/18 06:19 PM |
| 30 | How to stop comparing yourself to other womenControlling my thinking. There's a baseline of female attractiveness. Be thin / fit, have nice hair, wear some makeup, smile, dress to flatter your skin and body. Beyond that, it's largely a matter of opinions and tastes. There is no one set "most" attractive. The women you perceive to have a higher SMV - some men might find them gross. Some men like tan women, some like them fair. Some like blonds, some love redheads. Some like thick, some don't. Short, tall, curly hair, dimples, freckles - the… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/18 06:17 PM |
| 4 | Men will be men?I think this might need its own post, if it doesn't already have one. It's really important. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/18 06:30 PM |
| 4 | Men will be men?Yes, yes, yes. Thank you for taking the time to say all this, it's helping set me straight again. I was getting so, idk. Groggy brained with all of it, I couldn't see up from down. I know that fear is the opposite of love and the root of basically all negative feelings, but it hadn't occurred to me to look at it that way. And tbh, I've been feeling negative lately and I'm finally seeing a lot of it is rooted in fear. I'm about to move countries, become his wife, become a stepmom, AND start tryin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/18 06:24 PM |
| 1 | Men will be men?I am totally starting to see this. I was being pretty murky-headed with all of it tbh. I need to get centered again. Lots of changes coming in our relationship with marriage, becoming a stepmom, getting pregnant, moving countries. I think my insecurities are taking over my brain and I'm getting defensive and the more I try to rationalise my fears away and bury them, the more lost I am getting. I wouldn't ever approach him and tell him "my girlfriends and I all agreed that I shouldn't accept..." … | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/18 06:20 PM |
| 2 | Men will be men?I definitely don't want an argument with him. I was genuinely wondering if I was out of line to not like it, if I was being unfair. I appreciate the info as far as differences in men / women - it's very true. He is not interested in discussing the moral appropriateness of things. The problems created for me personally would be: - The people who heard him say this - including the woman - are mutual acquaintances, and will lose respect for me / him / the relationship and assume he is not being fai… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/18 05:32 PM |
| 7 | Men will be men?I agree. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/18 04:33 PM |
| 1 | Men will be men?I do get that. I didn't include the specific incident which prompted the question, in which case the man is my fiance, and he said something flirtatious / sexually suggestive to an attractive friend, with me on the phone. But my question was more of a general thing, to see if his saying "I was trying to get a rise out of you" and "I was just being a guy" is a fair response. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/18 03:48 PM |
| 2 | Men will be men?or say something off-colour or flirtatious to a woman Would that be included? | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/18 03:11 PM |
| 1 | Men will be men?I get you. Full disclosure, lol, it was my fiance who kind of unsettled me a bit this morning. I don't like to bring light to his flaws, because tbh he is wonderful. But of course everyone has them. I just wanted some feedback to see if I needed to adjust my thinking on it. He tries to get a rise out of me sometimes by saying flirty things to women that I think he feels are "safe" (older women, unattractive women, mutual friends) in front of me. He even likes to flirt with his Google speaker to … | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/18 02:42 PM |
| 3 | Men will be men?I lived in England awhile & am moving back soon! I think definitely true of Italian / French / Spanish men, probably. And Northern European. The English / Scottish, and Western European I think - are more hit & miss. Sometimes worse than Americans! Though they are generally polite to your face, I'm not sure if they are highly cultured or refined in general. I really expected the English to be very polite, proper, etc - I am originally from a Southern Belle culture and was a bit shocked by them, … | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/18 02:28 PM |
| 2 | Men will be men?Thanks for your comment! In general, I personally am not a fan of the behaviour, but wondering if I'm out of the ordinary. As far as the statement, "men will be men" - it was actually a man who said it, when discussing the behaviour. So I was curious if maybe this is just a "guy" thing. Either way, it's not a major ordeal, just curious. I was raised in a really traditional and religious home, where things like swearing, flirting, vulgar jokes - were just things that weren't done. Tbh, I sometime… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/18 01:46 PM |
| 1 | Help!!! My fiance can't stop decorating our future house lol!!!It probably has more to do with what it represents than the actual issue itself, as most things do. Yes, I am excited and happy to have my first real home - and my first real home with him. But I am concerned about being left out and / or overlooked by him & his kids. As well as being concerned with how the girls will adjust to my arrival in a few months, and whether it will feel like he & I are creating this home as a unit - or if I am more of an afterthought. I am happy in the relationship, bu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/18 11:53 AM |
| 2 | Help!!! My fiance can't stop decorating our future house lol!!!We are very traditional, and I think if I was currently there, things would be different. I won't be moving over until November, and they are in the house now - so they want it to be comfortable and cosy. I understand, of course. But I have offered to pick out things from here to order to make it cosy. He asked me about cushions, for example, and I picked out 4 or 5 options from a local store - and sent him pictures. He took the girls to the store, and asked for the photos again, and asked me to… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/18 07:40 PM |
| 2 | Help!!! My fiance can't stop decorating our future house lol!!!We have talked about it in passing a few times. He was worried that the girls might feel unwelcome if I paint it too much as "my" house or "our" house, and not also their house. He wants them to know it's their home too, and I agree. I have had to reassure him I don't mind about the small things. I definitely don't want to trigger off an argument by making him think I'm being overly picky. It can get complicated. He has guilt with the girls, which is common in a broken marriage. I worry that in … | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/18 07:27 PM |
| 7 | Help!!! My fiance can't stop decorating our future house lol!!!Short & sweet. I like it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/18 07:22 PM |
| 2 | Help!!! My fiance can't stop decorating our future house lol!!!I do understand that. It is going to be some major adjusting, for sure. My mother and upbringing was very different - her house was HER house, her sanctuary, and that was that. She was a perfectionist with home decor and meticulous to a fault. I know it can be hard to maintain that with large families and young kids - just hoping I don't end up feeling overly left out of the process. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/18 07:21 PM |
| 3 | Help!!! My fiance can't stop decorating our future house lol!!!Thank you! His oldest & I do follow each other on Pinterest, and I have shared pictures with them of ideas for the house. She is 14 and super girly, and basically everything she likes right now is pink and rose gold and faux fur. Which is cute for a teenage girl, but I know it might not stick long-term in an adult / family living room, haha. Honestly, this is very new to them, too. I think shopping together is a great idea, and we will definitely do that once I'm there. Hopefully there's still s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/18 07:20 PM |
| 1 | Stupid, primitive brain! I find myself turned on by the fact that the man I’m seeing has broken up relationships in the past.I guess my question would be, how long ago in the past? Is that still who he is, or was he just telling you who he has been? If it's still who he is, then he probably isn't interested in a legit LTR (i.e., marriage, etc). Being with married women is a way to keep his own independence, and not have a woman expecting too much from him. That could be a problem if you want a serious relationship with him. But I can't quickly jump to condemning him, because maybe he's not that guy anymore. I'll be ho… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/18 06:49 PM |
| 2 | Being more mindful of the way you talk to himIt's less of a tactic and more just accepting reality. I know that if I speak out of turn - say something that my gut instinct is SCREAMING at me not to say - he will shut down. We might end up arguing, he might pull away for a few days, he will get frustrated, I will deeply wish I had just kept my mouth shut and let it pass. That alone ends up being enough motivation to just ride it out. I know that it won't turn out different this time if I give in to the desire to say something - so I choose … | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/09/18 11:06 PM |
| 3 | Feminine vs Masculine Energy: Surrender and NonresistanceI haven't read anything else by her - I love the book The Untethered Soul, and this was recommended to me based on that. But it's excellent. I will look into the Net of Light - always looking for new ways of seeing the world. :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/09/18 07:09 PM |
| 6 | Feminine vs Masculine Energy: Surrender and NonresistanceAgreed. The proper form of surrender isn't based on blindness, ignorance, or desperation. It's a strong, principled choice. I like the C/FM analogy because I see the dynamic requiring a self-discipline I can relate to the military. It takes a lot of strength to stay respectful, know when to be quiet, and be consistently supportive. To respect the authority you've chosen, and be truly vulnerable and trusting. It's much easier, and less happy, to be messy, sloppy, angry, wild - and ultimately, alo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/09/18 07:07 PM |
| 3 | Is Having Lots of Guy Friends a Red Flag?I also think culture / location needs to be taken into consideration. In America, the large group of girlfriends thing is more common than in, say, some Latin European countries. It's almost expected in the US - it's in all the movies and TV shows, the whole sisterhood concept. But in some other cultures it's different. I think Americans (American women especially) are a bit in denial of their own fiercely competitive natures. I had two close girlfriends growing up, and the rest of my friends we… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/09/18 02:03 PM |
| 3 | Question about dread game?I think the whole dread thing and a lot of TRP when it comes to game is helping men target the kind of women it works on. This is vitally important. It's not going to work on all women, but it'll probably work on the kind of women that the types of men who use it are targeting. I.e., young, maybe a bit vapid, inexperienced, naive, insecure... In general, I think the women on RPW aren't those types, and this type of game probably isn't going to work on them. Then again, women on RPW wouldn't be t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/09/18 05:55 PM |
| 34 | Avoid loving opportunisticallyAppreciate that love is so abundant in your life that it becomes like breathing. Beautiful. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/09/18 07:54 PM |
| 1 | Why is sex so important to us?Totally agree, just difficulty interpreting the comment's communication style perhaps. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/18 08:09 PM |
| 2 | Opposite Sex FriendsWe aren't really into having close friends of the opposite sex, period. We have mutual acquaintances that are of the opposite sex, but most of them are in relationships and we're friends with the couple. Or maybe there's a female friend he had before he knew me, but now she knows me as well, and I am friends with her. And we have not remained friends with any exes or anyone we may have a weird or flirtatious past with. We have full access to each other's phones, facebooks, emails, etc. I don't k… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/18 08:03 PM |
| 17 | Marriage AgeInteresting & complex topic! Another interesting question is how many marriages stay intact on principle, but are knock-down drag-out miserable? The only thing I can say is that there are so many factors to a happy marriage, I can't imagine boiling it down to one thing. What I've seen in my own life and the lives of friends and family: Happy people make a happy marriage. Like, truly, deeply, content people. People who are centered in their world and not weighed down by the expectations of others… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/18 05:10 PM |
| 2 | Why is sex so important to us?My lesser female intelligence must be impeding me here, because I'm still failing to see the link between her question - why good sex sometimes matters more to women than a good relationship - and whether women's hips and breasts are attractive to men. Unless the bottom line of what you are trying to say is that it's more important to a woman to feel wanted sexually than to feel cared for emotionally - since sex is somehow more valuable to men than emotional connection? Which I kind of understan… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/18 03:53 PM |
| 5 | Why is sex so important to us?She was asking why sex is important to women. Why women get hung up on men sexually, valuing "good" sex with a jerk, over a relationship with a so-called nice guy. Not about why sex is important to men. Also... smarter? Not totally sure the data for that, I guess depends on how you are defining intelligence (IQ, spatial reasoning, verbal skills, etc.) Seems like a broad generalisation. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/18 01:38 PM |
| 6 | Why is sex so important to us?I wouldn't say it's a thing only because of sex. That's a bit of an over-generalisation, especially when sex comes with a lot of emotional entanglements for women. Women don't separate sex and emotion the way men are able to. We're just wired differently. I will say, when girls get involved sexually with a guy at a young age - or he's her first (seems common with alpha widows) - it complicates it even more. It distorts perception of him and the relationship, making it into something very "specia… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/18 09:11 AM |
| 8 | Tips on how to be more feminine in my relationshipI boss him around and I hate it. Stop. :) It's great that you look the part, now work on acting the part! Fake it til you make it. Pick a gentle, cool, female character you love - and imitate her when you are interacting with him. Don't tell him you're doing it, just do it. It will feel weird, like pretending. That's okay. Sometimes, if you change the behaviour first, the thoughts will catch up. Focus on making sure your own stuff is in order, and let him do his thing. Give him the space he need… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/18 08:24 AM |
| 5 | Do alpha widows have hope?There was a time I might have classified myself as alpha widowed. I had a relationship with a guy I thought was super attractive, popular, higher value than me. He ultimately cheated (a lot) and it ended. It hit me hard, I seriously crashed, and I continued obsessing about him / his life for the next - I don't know - 10 years? I thought I would never snap out of it. Even when I found myself in a relationship with a guy who was definitely more of a catch NOW, I had an obsessive tendency to "check… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/09/18 07:22 PM |
| 7 | Music that gets you in a feminine mindset?Alina Baraz has a beautiful, sultry, sensual, feminine voice - mostly like her stuff with Galimatias. (Fantasy) Some Regina Spektor is very fun and feminine (Folding Chair, Dance Anthem of the 80s...). Selena Gomez has some good ones. (Good For You) I love listening to older stuff like Edith Piaf - gets me in touch with my inner femme fatale. Also, Françoise Hardy. If you like older music in general, there's also Velvet Underground feat. Nico. Metric has a few standout ones (Help I'm Alive, Gimm… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/09/18 07:01 PM |
| 7 | Please Help. Made my Boyfriend Cry Today.You know the pain of being compared - you say your mother compares you with your sister. Yet, you are comparing him with the men that other female family members have found. Not all people are the same. The fact that he is willing to compromise to make you happy is amazing. It doesn't even sound like he said he is unwilling to have a big wedding - it's just that he doesn't want it as much as you do. There are a lot of things our partners might get super excited about - guy-type things. Sports ev… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/09/18 05:43 PM |
| 6 | I'm [27F] a live-in girlfriend to my boyfriend [29M] of three years. Am I making a mistake?I have been in a LDR for about 3 years. I even lived over there with him for 9 months. If I had been eager to find a way to live there without us being married, there's a chance he would've gone for it. But when those possibilities came up - me coming over as a student, or us applying for an unmarried partner visa - I respectfully but firmly steered the conversation away from those options. So, after the 9 month stay when I came home, it came up again because he was used to having me there obvio… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/09/18 05:47 PM |
| 7 | The Soft AlphaGood example of soft alpha: my fiance. He's a great dad and was raised with traditional values. He doesn't fear marriage and he brought marriage up first in our relationship - a few weeks in. He was never afraid to discuss it with me, though at times he seemed unsure. He is capable of being romantic, even in sexual situations. He is a good provider with a sense of humour. At the same time, he does not tolerate being bossed around. He puts up with no BS from me. He has been a womaniser in the pas… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/08/18 05:41 PM |
| 8 | FAQ: Advice for an RPW TeenagerDON'T GIVE IT AWAY FOR FREE. At the moment, this is the most important thing I think teen girls need to realise. Yes, be beautiful. Yes, care about your figure. Care about your makeup and hair. Care about your personal style. But after all the work you put into yourself - don't give yourself away. Be sure they've earned it. This advice doesn't just apply to boys and sex, though it certainly applies there also. It could also apply to friendships and life choices. Your career path. From the start,… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/08/18 01:47 PM |
| 19 | Does your SO have a say in what you wear?Mainly, he wants me to dress modestly and respectably. That's the most important thing to him - he doesn't like slutty or attention-seeking looks. He doesn't like me wearing dresses or skirts unless we are out together. So I save those for him, and don't wear them for errands etc. He's not big on too much ruffle, floral, brocade, lace, traditionally "girly" looks. He seems to find them both dated and too kiddy. He seems to prefer classic, clean patterns like stripes and polka dots. He likes spar… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/08/18 10:13 AM |
| – | Gratitude: What are you thankful for?We've set the wedding date, bought the plane tickets, and my dress has been ordered! Wedding plans are steadily in motion & in 5 months I will be his wife. No more birth control for us, and though we're currently long-distance, my first baby is hopefully in my near future! I'm growing closer to my future step-daughters - they are such sweet, girly, respectful, and capable girls - honestly I couldn't imagine them having been raised better. Summertime pool parties with my family. We're house-hunti… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/08/18 02:56 PM |
| 2 | University of Michigan study about online dating both confirms and challenges RP theoryAs far as the dating up thing goes - to my understanding, women date "up" by dating men who are stronger, more able, can provide for them, are attractive & can attract many suitable female partners. Men date "down" by dating women who are more fragile, need them, are naturally more dependent - also, a man's sexual drive is more likely to override his pickiness, making him more able to "settle" for a woman who may be a bit less physically attractive than he is. But I didn't think the dating down … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/08/18 02:40 PM |
| 3 | Did you improve your relationship/marriage by being more submissive?In what ways did you manage to improve your marriage or relationship by being more submissive and more feminine? We used to argue so much more. I was a very defensive person, but not particularly aggressive. He's very masculine / alpha and can come across slightly brash or harsh, even when he sometimes doesn't mean to. My tendency was to be very reactionary. I would get so defensive, paranoid, shrill, "how dare you accuse me of..." and "I can't believe you would say..." By learning to react less… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/08/18 10:33 AM |
| 11 | RPW, how have you handled being Pumped and Dumped?they stop giving a woman the time of day if she's not showing physical affection (bj, sex) by the second date Sounds like a man I wouldn't give the time of day. You aren't JUST an option, you have a reasonable right to be choosy yourself. Not to say expecting too much, but honestly? I wouldn't want to be anywhere near a man who has set these types of "rules" and expectations in his dating life / with women. This isn't the kind of man who is entertaining ideas of respectful LTRs. I'd be happy to … | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/08/18 12:21 PM |
| 46 | Genuine Feminine Experiences Can Be Had By...?Genuine feminine experiences can be had by: - Learning self-control and behaving with gentleness, rather than reacting immediately based on our emotional responses. - Becoming a better listener and trying to see things from the perspective of the other, rather than the self. - Being sensitive and alert to the emotional and physical responses of ourselves and others, and learning to reply and even anticipate these responses so we can handle them in the best way. - Caring for the needs of others, … | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/08/18 06:37 PM |
| 11 | What does respect really mean for a guy?The purpose of teasing is always provocation. I would say teasing falls into two categories - let's say coy vs condescending. Coy teasing is good. Coy teasing is when you are flirting, making yourself small, playful, sexual. Coy teasing makes him feel big. It strokes his ego a little (or a lot). This kind of teasing is a turn-on to lots of guys. With this kind of teasing, the goal is to provoke sexual or playful romantic banter and feelings. This teasing is healthy. Condescending teasing is very… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/08/18 08:57 AM |
| 65 | What does respect really mean for a guy?how do you show respect to your man? A lot of the time, for me, respect is not saying something. Not lecturing him on his driving, or correcting him on something minor when I know he's wrong. It's not teasing him or talking him down to others or in front of others. Sometimes, it's doing the things I know he wishes I would do, even when I don't feel like doing them. Respecting what I know his wishes would be, even in his absence. It's being so, so gentle when I do feel the need to be his compass … | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/07/18 07:25 PM |
| 2 | How to be less serious?There are so many different types of people, but I think that often when people are too serious or can't lighten up, it comes from a place of perfectionism and judgement. This isn't always bad - it can make you a hard worker, always trying to improve. But it can also make you really self-conscious and uncomfortable around others. This isn't something I'd say easily or in general, but - lower your standards. Relax. Think less about how you look, even about how you look compared to "one of those g… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/07/18 04:58 PM |
| 7 | FAQ: What makes a man a Captain?9 Traits of a Good Captain: Self-confidence. Not some shallow sense of swagger or vanity, but a man who really believes what he believes, has a vision for his life, and has a passion for that vision. It comes through. Strength. In a logic-over-emotion way: he has to be able to do what's best, even when it isn't always what feels best in the moment. This strength is connected to a kind of responsibility & maturity. Consideration. He treats other people with dignity and is generally pretty likeabl… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/07/18 11:39 AM |
| 12 | A letter to young womenAlso wife material vs plate material. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/07/18 08:26 AM |
| 55 | A letter to young womenThe "hot" vs "beautiful" advice is almost like "beta" vs "alpha" advice in TRP, to me. "Hot" girls, like beta guys, are giving it up too easily. They think they will find fulfilment and meet their ultimate relationship goals by acting how the opposite sex acts. (For beta guys, this means being too nice, too much of a pushover. For hot girls, this means being overly sexual, too aggressive.) "Beautiful" girls, like alpha guys, know how to hold back their most valued and desired asset (sex for her,… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/07/18 01:21 PM |
| 11 | Are there any female celebrities you look up to as RP-rolemodels?I saw a post like this ages ago, but it also mentioned fictional characters. Someone said Morticia Adams and it has stuck with me ever since. She's passionate, confident, sensual, a mother, unconventional, fiercely protective of her family, trusting of her husband - I don't know if there are any real celebrity women who quite measure up, but I'm sure they are out there. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/07/18 12:03 AM |
| 2 | Do you drink alcohol?I have a history of addictive behaviour and drinking issues, so now I don't drink at all. My entire life has transformed for the better ever since (engaged, running a successful business, travelling & moving to Europe) and I lost 50 lbs from cutting the calories and late night post-drinking junk food binges. If I was the type of woman who could sip wine casually with dinner a few nights a week - truly drinking in moderation - I absolutely would. But I don't believe that is who I am, so I prefer … | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/07/18 10:40 AM |
| 1 | The Cult of "Self-Esteem"I read something once that spoke about the difference between self-esteem and self-worth. It changed the way I thought about everything. Basically, self-esteem as a concept is flawed and fragile because it depends on external factors too heavily - attractive or not, successful or not, etc. Self-esteem will constantly fluctuate throughout life based on our failures and triumphs. It is basically not a real thing, and not a genuine measure of self, success, etc. Self-worth, on the other hand, is th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/07/18 11:29 AM |
| 3 | Tattoos from my previous SJW life...That sounds like a great plan! The lasering is not that painful, honestly if you can stand tattoos you can stand the laser. And mine came off like a charm - and I don't have skin that heals super well, so I was pleasantly surprised. I do have a high metabolism, and that can be a help. Just attack the ones you dislike the most, first - you don't have to commit to removing them all, or doing it all at once. :) Good luck!!! | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/06/18 06:36 PM |
| 13 | Tattoos from my previous SJW life...Omg. This is so relatable. I'm 33, and between the ages of 18-21, I got 7 tattoos - including a big one on my upper arm, and two very noticeable ones on my chest. One was even my first husband's initials (which I later covered, after we divorced). Sigh. I had planned on covering myself in them, back when I thought I was "punk" (or whatever nonsense I believed). But I quickly lost interest, and then eventually morphed into a feminine RPW with a taste for the finer things and a dislike for these t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/06/18 05:49 PM |
| 2 | Expressing Feelings - A Summary from Couple SkillsYes! The book actually suggested you start by keeping a brief journal whenever you feel something - whether positive or negative - identifying the feelings and what happened to trigger them. Just as a way of learning to really identify your emotions. From there, it's a short step to formatting how you want to communicate them. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/06/18 05:37 PM |
| 1 | tips on decorating a couple's apt/houseYou could go with more abstract art. I love cool blues and green shades - those are great for men / women and are very relaxing. What about posters with cool ocean-shade abstract art, or shelving with more candles / statues (these could be anything from busts, to Buddhas, to books & bookends)? It might be helpful to pick something you both love - like mountains, the ocean, Paris, citiscapes, hiking, even food! Find something you both love - colours you both like - and build a decor theme around … | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/06/18 07:59 PM |
| 1 | What do you consider an acceptable n-count for a woman when she gets married?Hmmm... I'm gonna go with... 3? But it's incredibly subjective. Depends how old she is, etc. I lost my V to my first husband, but had been intimate (orally) with 3 other guys (and 1 girl) before him. I was 19. Needless to say, I needed RPW back then. Sigh. I'm also going to ask another question here, if it's okay, just because I'm curious myself. Do you guys count oral partners in? Or strictly P-in-V? | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/06/18 07:47 PM |
| 1 | RP truths vs Feminism -- I need some encouragement!I went through a big feminist kick in my life, so I get a lot of what you are saying. For one thing, maybe someday people will evolve to a point where men and women are less different. Where the truths of RP aren't truths anymore. The idea of complete and total equality is maybe a nice one. But the theory of feminism / equality has developed and evolved faster than actual people have. The truth is, people aren't there yet. Men are still drawn to pretty, nice, and fertile. Women are still drawn t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/06/18 07:35 PM |
| 3 | Views of men with mental disorders?Managing the symptoms = treatment - that's what I meant! It can't be cured, but it can be treated. I mean, technically, so can the schizophrenia, but it seems like even milder cases of schizophrenia are very debilitating compared to well-managed ADHD. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/06/18 04:26 PM |
| 1 | When your Captain is a dad & has an ex-wife - valid worries or not?You're right! I am still having some difficultly navigating the fine, RPW line between being self-sufficient, not a nag, staying calm and strong - and opening up or being honest when something is on my mind. It can be a difficult line to toe - knowing when to keep silent vs when to speak up. But you are so right. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/06/18 03:37 PM |
| 5 | When your Captain is a dad & has an ex-wife - valid worries or not?This is super-true and I hadn't thought of it this way. Thank you. He is seriously a stand-up guy and I'm getting a bit too caught up in being self-centered here. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/06/18 06:56 PM |
| 9 | 21, I'm still unable to find a relationshipI am unable to control my emotions. You are able to control your emotions - everyone is able to control their emotions. Even people with extreme emotional problems can use techniques learned from therapy to control their emotions. They are your emotions. You just have to learn to master them, instead of them being master over you. :) I think that could be a very important step for you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/06/18 05:16 PM |
| 3 | When your Captain is a dad & has an ex-wife - valid worries or not?Tbh, it does feel like the more he gets along with her, the better it's all going to work out for us / the kids long-term. His ex used to be very adversarial to him and me, but knowing that I am supportive of him helping her and the kids has brought her to praise me and be more cool with me & the kids being closer. I'll keep trying to see the long-term, like I'm sure he's doing - everyone getting along is definitely preferable to the alternative. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/06/18 04:45 PM |
| 2 | When your Captain is a dad & has an ex-wife - valid worries or not?I get this. I do trust him as far as his loyalty goes (I don't worry about him cheating). But I think he might be having trouble setting boundaries & balancing everything - understandable, it's a tough situation. It feels as if he's almost falling back into husband mode with her - minus the sex of course. The last thing I want to do is come across selfish or too needy - or give the impression I expect to come before his kids. But I'm finding it hard being vulnerable with him right now. Not sure … | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/06/18 04:40 PM |
| 1 | When your Captain is a dad & has an ex-wife - valid worries or not?I am happy to be a stepmom, and they do share custody. His ex-wife isn't particularly problematic. She is a bit needy, but she's not in a great situation and it is because of his family - so I understand his needing to help her stabilise. It's more that I'm worried about this transition period - he used to not get along with his ex at all, but it almost feels like the more congenial they get, the less I have a place in his life - the less time or focus I am getting from him. But there is family … | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/06/18 04:10 PM |
| 1 | When your Captain is a dad & has an ex-wife - valid worries or not?Sure - they are 15, 13, and 9. I am going to be moving there once we are married - that has always been the plan. He currently lives about 30 minutes from them and sees them very regularly - 2-3 times weekly, takes them for overnight visits etc. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/06/18 03:59 PM |
| 10 | Views of men with mental disorders?I would tend to put ADHD in the category of depression and anxiety - schizophrenia and autism are not things which can be easily managed with medication, therapy, diet, etc. But ADHD can be treated. Regardless, mental illness and disorders run a wide spectrum. I would say it's important to see how much they impede someone's ability to function. Some people have been diagnosed with mental illness, but learn to manage it and are still highly productive. Some people are never diagnosed, and are des… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/06/18 10:24 AM |
| 7 | My relationship isn’t going too well... I hate how beta he is.I think at this point, ending the relationship is all you can do. Otherwise, it's going to get ugly and hurtful the more you resent him. I won't pass judgement on you. But I will say, I think you could benefit from taking some time to work on yourself before you get involved with anyone else. There's a chance he is a really unappealing person. Maybe he should be working on himself and he's not. Who knows. But you seem to lack sympathy for what seems like a nice person who cares about you. It is … | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/06/18 12:03 AM |
| 2 | Theory on Threesomes ?I'm late to comment and there is so much good information here, and this comment may or may not be helpful but: Have you considered having sex with a woman and letting him watch, maybe setting up ground rules for keeping him a bit less involved, and going that way about it? I ask because I am bisexual, I've had threesomes etc, and so has my fiance - but we haven't since we've been together. We've both had negative past experiences where open relationships and sexual adventurousness has hurt our … | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/06/18 12:06 PM |
| 2 | I love wearing cute feminine clothes but can’t find the clothes I want. Where should I look?Etsy has amazing vintage options, often reasonably priced. Capsule wardrobe planning is something I've found really useful. Basically, building a wardrobe of mix-and-match pieces that all have a similar colour palette (it's good to know the best colours on you - are you a spring, summer, fall, winter?). Then, I've even gone as far as assigning numbers to my pieces and mixing them randomly for outfit inspiration. Speaking of outfit inspiration: Pinterest. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/06/18 06:08 PM |
| 2 | How do I move on:) I believe a bit in both! And I think there's somewhat of a common thread - accepting things for what they are, focusing on changing yourself instead of changing the external, (and especially for women) learning to calm your emotions and distance yourself from the inner storm... Operating from a place of calm, and especially making choices that show you are caring for yourself - it works. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/06/18 08:56 PM |
| 30 | How do I move onAlmost everyone who has ever lived has suffered heartbreak. And almost all of those people eventually found someone new. It might feel like that won't happen to you, and I bet nearly all of the heartbroken before you felt the same. If you can, try to recognise that those are feelings, and feelings aren't facts. There is a good chance, if you are working on yourself and making positive changes, that you will find someone new. But now, you'll be ready for him, you'll be wiser because you've learne… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/06/18 05:40 PM |
| 10 | Did you deliberately cultivate an RP mentality, or did you gravitate here because you recognized it as something you were already practicing?I cultivate... but the seeds were planted a long time ago. :) I was raised in a society that had RPish values (subjection to your husband, nuclear families, fairly traditional). I never saw the value in it until I spent some years bucking against the system, being all "counter-culture" and digging into feminism a bit. But somewhere in all that, I started realising that against my better judgement, I was still attracted to successful, stable men who were strong and were provider types. I also rea… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/06/18 01:15 PM |
| 1 | “Men age like wine, women like milk”these are usually guys with narcisstic tendencies Do the stats say that too? Idk, I have no emotional stock in this one way or the other tbh. I was talking what I thought was basic evolutionary theory. I am not personally offended or upset by it. I don't think age gap relationships = narcissism, and I don't think that there aren't a lot of relationships that aren't age-gap. I do think it's a fact that men's SMV doesn't decrease with age as drastically as women's, and I'm pretty positive that's a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/06/18 01:19 PM |
| 1 | “Men age like wine, women like milk”even the most alpha males of our society hardly ever date much outside of their age range. HuH???//?/? So most older, wealthy, powerful men don't marry much younger women? Are you serious? I think maybe we are on different planets. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/06/18 01:08 PM |
| 2 | “Men age like wine, women like milk”I get all this, but either I have really missed something here, or I am going crazy, or I don't know what. Lol. A basic RP theory - and theory of evolutionary sexual attraction - is that a large (probably the largest) part of what sexually attracts men to women is their ability to bear children and their health, which is absolutely tied up with their youth. The same is not true for men, who not only are able to make babies well into their twilight years, but who also tend to be better providers,… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/06/18 12:40 PM |
| 1 | “Men age like wine, women like milk”Agreed x 100000000000000. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/05/18 08:51 AM |
| 3 | “Men age like wine, women like milk”Yes, and they are famous women, who are more attractive to start with than every "normal" women. Actresses are equal to Clooney to start. Plus, they have access to plastic surgery and every trick to beat ageing. Still, is there an older female equivalent to Clooney? A 60 year old beautiful actress who seems 100% ageless or gets more attractive with age? And I mean by the standards of Hollywood / average men. I can not think of one. It just feels like there's some level of denial / virtue signall… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/05/18 08:41 AM |
| 2 | “Men age like wine, women like milk”Tbh I'm a little confused at all these comments. All you have to do is look at Hollywood to see what happens to actresses that hit a certain age, versus actors that hit the same age. The men stay leading men. The women are replaced by the next crop of younger hotties. It's not nice, and it doesn't speak to their character as people or their worth as people / partners, but it still is reality. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/05/18 11:56 PM |
| 1 | “Men age like wine, women like milk”I haven't really been discussing sex appeal. I'm discussing more the physical aspects of ageing: wrinkling skin, sagging, weight gain, (all of which can be amplified by childbirth) etc. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/05/18 11:25 PM |
| 0 | “Men age like wine, women like milk”That's basically how she wears it. Regardless of makeup, she hasn't aged well, especially compared to this particular older actor. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/05/18 10:37 AM |
| 2 | “Men age like wine, women like milk”True but I've seen real life examples too. That one was freshest in my mind, but I could've used my own parents. Dad's 16 years older and looks better at 74 than my mom does at 58. It happens. I don't think that particular actor has sex appeal necessarily, but he certainly has aged better than the particular actress playing his wife. Men simply - as a general rule (with some exceptions) - seem to age better physically. That's really all I meant. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/05/18 10:33 AM |
| 2 | Guy who brags about hooking up with other girls?he is the party type and I am a bit more quiet and reserved I would say that is your answer! It seems like he's definitely got a one-track mind at the moment, and being young, he sounds like he's out for a good time. I'm guessing you are interested in something more serious, so I'd hold off until you find someone who seems more into LTRs. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/18 08:06 PM |
| 21 | Guy who brags about hooking up with other girls?It sounds like a misguided attempt to impress you. 18 is still a bit young and I think he needs to work on his game skills, lol. An experienced man can seem more desirable to women, but usually a man has to learn how to hint at or insinuate that he is experienced or wanted in order for it to really work. Pulling out a photo album of women with "I DID IT WITH HER" written across each page isn't really smooth and isn't going to convince anyone... Does he seem like otherwise a nice guy? Do you like… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/18 06:59 PM |
| 4 | “Men age like wine, women like milk”Unfortunately, it's true in the sense it was meant. Men often remain much more physically attractive than women with age. Perfect example (because it's fresh in my mind)? Stars of Schitt's Creek, playing a married couple: He's 71. She's 64. Ouch. That being said, there are some interesting things to note. Like, I drank / ate way too much in my 20s, kept my hair short, didn't dress well, etc. In my early 30s now, I'm 50 lbs lighter and sober. I look sooooo much better than I did (probably went fr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/18 06:13 PM |
| 31 | I just realized how different men and women are. (Best vs. Most)I read somewhere recently that when a man wants to sleep with a woman who isn't his SO, he almost always wants her in addition to the woman he has. It's not that he doesn't still want his, he just wants... well, all of them. I would never be able to do that. I have one man on the brain / heart at a time. Period. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/18 02:51 PM |
| 3 | Advice for married womenFortunately, he doesn't have to be interested at all! If you can incorporate RPW thinking into your own behaviours and your side of the relationship, you might see major changes in his behaviours and attitudes - without saying a word to him about it. Focus on yourself, and the ways you grow & change can cause natural shifts in the dynamic of your marriage and his personality. Often, when a man isn't taking the lead, it's because he's used to being in the backseat while his partner drives. A grea… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/18 01:45 PM |
| 3 | Changed my mind about living togetherI am worried he won’t like the idea of waiting until marriage to move in together. That's kind of the idea! Haha. :) Personally, I lived with my ex-husband before we got married... and obviously, that didn't work out, but for a lot of reasons. I've lived with my fiance short-term. We spent about 9 months living together, but we're from different countries. After my 9 month stay, I came back home. We've been talking marriage for a long time, and we are planning to get married early next year. The… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/18 01:37 PM |
| 19 | Husband spoils me to a shopping day 😘Hmm. Lotta people making nasty assumptions. 😕 I don't think there's anything wrong with a man being proud to show off / give things to his woman. It's not automatically "beta" to buy things for, or provide for, a woman. My fiance loves giving me birthday presents, Christmas presents, or having a chance to tell me go spend on myself. It gives him pride to see me happy and cared for. And there's nothing beta about him. Being a good woman can inspire a man to be a good provider. Basic rule of The S… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/18 08:56 AM |
| 2 | A STFU win - and share your own!Oh, yes. Sometimes the best way for me to climb off of my high horse is to jump right into the mud with him. Rofl. Like, if he's being a slob and I find myself getting really irked, instead, I just force myself to stop what I'm doing and be a little bit of a slob too. He doesn't really notice, it's short-term and I know I'll deal with it tomorrow (when I feel better), and it brings me back to planet earth. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/18 08:41 PM |
| 3 | A STFU win - and share your own!Thanks for commenting! It's definitely kind of embarrassing, uncool, not RP (lol), and not something I love about myself. I would love to be always logical, steady, and unflappable. Unfortunately, I have always been more emotional than probably even your "average" woman. Becoming my own ideal RPW is a process, and it takes time, effort, and self-discipline!! The natural tendency is to be needy, clingy, insecure, etc. It's awareness of those natural tendencies in me that allow me to practice the … | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/18 08:39 PM |
| 6 | Saying yes to sex even when you aren’t in the moodI agree, it doesn't sound like there's anything wrong with how you handled it! But just personally... I think, if it had been me in the same situation, I would've given him the option of sex instead of a bj. Oral is a bit demanding and when you are on the verge of sleep, it can be tough. If he was turned on enough to kind of (not to be too forward) get in there, do the work, and get out, I would've been fine with that, gotten into it enough to help him get off quickly, and happily off to bed. Or… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/18 03:58 PM |
| 5 | A STFU win - and share your own!Hormones. Insecurity. Negative past experiences. Hypersensitivity. There are plenty of reasons women might get themselves worried needlessly. It's generally not permanent, or common. But it happens. I don't think it's a sign of lack of trust, or love, or a bad or distant relationship. There are probably some women who are steady as a rock and never get anxious, but I think anxiety / worrying can be a common female problem, even when you have trust & confidence. Most people are prone to anxiety f… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/18 11:19 AM |
| 8 | A STFU win - and share your own!Another thing is to wait, wait, wait it out. Don't act quickly. Don't react without thinking. 99% of the time, he will go back to his normal self if you just leave it. The other 1% - if something is really on his mind or bothering him - he'll tell you directly. Usually, if he's a good one and the relationship is basically good - we are worrying too much. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/05/18 08:36 PM |
| 4 | A STFU win - and share your own!Yep. I have probably worked myself into tears with assumptions when in reality, like... his phone died or something. Haha | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/05/18 08:31 PM |
| 16 | A STFU win - and share your own!I am guilty of this!!! Lol. The amount of damage that can be done by a woman assuming something is "wrong" when it's not... I can be so sensitive to his tone, or quietness, via text - I think something is wrong, I start to act weird or fish for hey what's up over there, he notices I'm acting weird but doesn't get why, so he assumes something is wrong with me, or ends up asking why I'm acting strange... Lol. Women are brilliantly sensitive and intuitive creatures, but with men, I think we need to… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/05/18 03:26 PM |
| 4 | I am new to the forum and looking for adviceI'm not 100% sure what you mean about lack of people taking you seriously. If you mean trying to defend / explain your point of view, for me, it helps to use words like "traditionalist," and understand my own perspective completely. You can't expect to explain yourself or your views unless you really understand them yourself. For me, it seems like other people catch on more quickly to my perspective when I can explain it: I believe people evolved their earth-wide patterns of behaviour because th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/05/18 02:51 PM |
| 8 | Am I being soft nexted or hard nexted?He would probably happily keep you as a plate. Maybe he thought of committing more long-term, but I don't think there's a high chance of that now. At all. By not choosing, he is choosing. If you aren't okay being one of many, move on. Maybe he'll keep you as one of a harem - is that what you want? If not, move along. Men aren't always great at saying goodbye. Sometimes you have to do it for them. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/05/18 03:07 PM |
| 6 | Am I being soft nexted or hard nexted?Most likely, this guy is done. If he keeps seeing you, he will probably do so only while seeing other women, and it's likely he'll end things with you if and when he finds others to keep him occupied. It seems like he cared about you, and was considering trying to work it out, but your overly emotional and desperate reactions have pushed him totally away. I know you say you realise that you handled it wrong, but this really stuck out to me: I was sorry for my reaction as it was based on emotions… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/05/18 03:05 PM |
| 58 | How can I tell love and infatuation apart?Real love is defined by our deep concern with another's well-being. We want to add to their life, help them accomplish their goals, help them learn to be their best. We care so deeply for their overall health and success that we do all we can to support them. Infatuation is the (totally necessary, normal and healthy!) brain reaction that happens when we meet someone we interpret as a good prospective partner. It's our brain giving us good feelings because our overall experience is that they coul… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/05/18 02:56 PM |
| 33 | Mothering vs caring forIt's good for him to see that you have caregiving skills, and not all caregiving is mothering. In my experience, when men are sick, they are often big babies and love to be tenderly cared for. When men aren't sick, mothering them can be a nail in the coffin of your relationship. Even if they seem to like it, too much "looking after" him can turn the relationship into a weird child dynamic where he's doing less and less for himself, and subconsciously he will start associating you with mom. Sexua… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/05/18 02:50 PM |
| 5 | Boyfriend doesn’t want kids. I do. (Both 20). Should I end this relationship or are we too young to decide?My best friend growing up always wanted kids. She married a man who didn't. She thought he would eventually change his mind. Fast forward 10ish years later. She's deeply depressed. He is twice as firm in his decision. Her clock is ticking. She ends up cheating and getting herself pregnant by someone else. I know another woman in her late 30s who married young to a man who so badly didn't want kids, he had a vasectomy. She also ended up deeply depressed and cheating (I know this woman because she… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/05/18 10:44 AM |
| 3 | What is the mix of your mate?Yeah, I get that. Had I found RPW earlier in life and made different choices, things would've been... different. I married a man closer to my age, but there was no vetting, and we were a mess. Instead of growing, he regressed to drunken toddlerhood. I met my fiance when I was 31, so that changed things a bit. I wouldn't say he had finished his growth as a person (and he's 12 years older), if there is such a thing as finishing. Since we've met, we've both come into our own in a lot of ways. I thi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/05/18 10:26 AM |
| 3 | What is the mix of your mate?I would say my fiance is a softened or seasoned alpha. When he was very young, honestly, I don't think I wouldn't gone anywhere near him, and probably no woman should've. He was a womaniser with no intentions to commit, he pursued a dangerous and selfish lifestyle, and his temper and ego were out of control. He began changing at some point in his later 30s, I think, and family became more important to him. Really connecting with a mate started to appeal to him. Being more careful in his choices … | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/05/18 10:32 AM |
| 20 | Dread for womenIt's easy for women to get sex - not necessarily commitment, which is what most of them truly want. The kind of women who can secure real commitment are desirable, like the kind of men who can secure real sexual attraction. To me, it boils down to: be wife material. Like you said, the instagram bikini girl? She's (generally, typically) the opposite of wife material. If you want a guy to realise he better lock you down, show him traits that are rare, genuinely valuable, and permanent. Boobs aren'… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/05/18 10:01 AM |
| 1 | Husband defines himself as a feminist, but from what I’ve observed he’s... not.^ This. As humans, we tend to try to correct flaws we see by overcorrecting. IMO, that's part of where feminism came from. Yes, things were maybe a bit overly stacked against women in some ways in the past. But the answer wasn't to go 1000000% in the opposite direction. The answer was to bring things to a balanced center point. Same goes here: the answer to your being overly passive or insecure is not to become overly aggressive or haughty. The answer is in the middle: a healthy amount of balanc… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/05/18 10:30 PM |
| 40 | Husband defines himself as a feminist, but from what I’ve observed he’s... not.I understand a lot of this, and I feel your pain on some levels. I really do. It can be frustrating. My fiance is also older than me, and I see some of the same behaviours you've described here in him. But I also think some of your thinking might have gotten away from you, which is impacting your experience of events. Some of the points I noticed: There's a difference in "pretending" and choosing silence or choosing graciousness. I had to learn this. I can be really opinionated, and I am a fairl… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/05/18 11:45 AM |
| 2 | Holding frame (when he drops it)I didn't see anything in this comment to lead me to think they were saying a woman shouldn't work, or even anything related to career / work. It's about knowing how to support your man, whatever his goal or endeavour, and how that can bond you as a couple. Supporting your man doesn't mean you don't also have a life of your own. But when it comes to career / supporting the family, that's more of the man's role, and our role as women is a secondary and supportive one. That does not negate our indi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/05/18 10:19 AM |
| 7 | Holding frame (when he drops it)I'm not sure if there's a term for it, but I would say there is (or should be) a female equivalent. Not that most non-RPW know it or honor it, but then again, not a lot of BP men know about frame, either. Really, if you know RP as a woman, you should be exhibiting a lot of self-control yourself, in relationships and getting to know men. We have to fight off our hamsters. We have to fight off our inborn urges to branch swing. We have to fight off the social conditioning that teaches us everyone s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/05/18 10:03 AM |
| 4 | Am I welcome here as a trans woman?You're welcome. I've almost never been single but every previous relationship was a wreck, lol. I think that's a lot worse! I'm not exactly straight either. I like my men super masculine, and my women very feminine. I never understood why I didn't like more masculine women until RPW - it makes more sense that the masculine in me is sexually attracted to the feminine in them. Knowledge is power. :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/05/18 09:51 AM |
| 3 | Am I welcome here as a trans woman?In general, RPW focuses on becoming more feminine, as straight men are generally / traditionally drawn to feminine women. If you are interested in women, some of this won't apply to you, since women might be generally / traditionally drawn to different characteristics. But RPW is still a great place to examine attraction / gender. And if you're interested in women who are attracted to femininity, submissiveness, openness, sweetness, etc - I don't see why RPW couldn't be useful to you as well. Mo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/05/18 09:13 AM |
| 3 | Am I welcome here as a trans woman?I would read this, and every link at the bottom! :) https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/7gn6sg/rpw_and_trp/ | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/05/18 06:05 AM |
| 18 | Am I welcome here as a trans woman?There is no super-strong link between TRP and RPW. They are two groups of people who have taken one theory, and built two really different groups with it, with totally different goals. TRP is for men to deal with gender / relationship / sex issues. RPW is for women. TRP often (not always) has the goal of getting laid more. RPW often (not always) has the goal of finding a good LTR. There will always be people who are phobic. In these communities people probably lean more towards traditional think… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/05/18 05:48 AM |
| 11 | To honor and obeyHaven't decided on my vows, but I would have no objection to saying "to honor and obey." And my family's opinion won't factor in. Obeying is only a problem if you're marrying someone you don't trust. Children obey their parents, because their parents are looking out for their best interest. If we've picked a good man, he's also looking out for ours. No one balks at the idea of obeying your boss' rules, obeying your commanding officer, obeying the government, or obeying whatever religious / moral… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/05/18 05:37 AM |
| 23 | Can men and women be friends?I would say, men & women can be "just friends" only in very carefully controlled situations. I think men and women can keep it platonic if they are both in happy, fulfilled, satisfying LTRs and they socialise in group settings, without any private one-on-one contact or talking about things TOO personal. For example, a few couples who are friendly and all hang around in group settings, but avoid personal, close contact via text etc. I've seen situations where people were friends from childhood, a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/05/18 05:28 AM |
| 35 | Ex-SJW liberal feminist new to red pillFor me personally, the whole purpose of RPW in my life is to approach relationships / the male-female dynamic entirely different. I had some strong feminist leanings in the past, but they were always divided with an innate knowledge that men and women were completely different but equal in value, and that "equality" in the feminist sense was likely not possible. I think the SJW / feminist standpoint is about railing hard against "how things are." Fighting the system, trying to rewrite the rules.… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/05/18 05:18 AM |
| 63 | Why do young girls not get taught growing up how important youth, looks and relationships are?Well written, and I agree. The few things I would add are: It's not always mutually exclusive to be an appealing female partner / to be intellectual or successful. Sometimes, those things are at odds, but not always. I have a cousin who is an extremely attractive, desirable and successful guy - he is married to a gorgeous, young, friendly, popular doctor. Talk about getting the deep end of the gene pool. But she is feminine, sweet, soft-spoken, and overall balanced - all while being a doctor and… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/05/18 05:10 AM |
| 18 | Managing jealousy. How do You do it?I can be prone to a lot of insecurity / jealousy, and obsessive googling / worrying. I was recently faced with a situation I had to handle carefully. My fiance hired a woman to work with him - he had worked with her before he ever knew me. I knew that he had found her attractive, and he liked her personality. I wondered if they had sparks previously, but I didn't want to ask - and I was pretty sure there had been some previous flirtation. It took every ounce of my self-control to not let on I wa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/05/18 12:50 PM |
| 5 | Music that puts you in a romantic, feminine mood?Alina Baraz & Galimatias - Urban Flora. Edith Piaf. :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/05/18 09:21 AM |
| 2 | Big Brother versus Partner - what would you do?I wouldn't say it is racism as much as not wanting me to be with someone outside of the religion. My brother told me once to date him, have my fun, but don't connect myself to him permanently (kids, marriage). My brother has dated around outside of the religion, but when the girls talked about commitment, he ran the other way. He would probably only consider committing to someone who is part of the religion, if only mainly to avoid being disowned by our parents. It is a bit sad, but my main conc… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/05/18 11:40 AM |
| 1 | Big Brother versus Partner - what would you do?Yep, they are JW. They won't physically attack me, but stalking / harassment is possible, and they are taught to basically treat me as if I am dead (no contact, no interaction). My brother bends the rules because he isn't as religious as my parents. My other siblings left the religion long ago and are supportive of my relationship and my independence, but my parents & brother are not happy and believe I should only marry within the religion. They also don't believe I should pursue education, car… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/05/18 11:35 AM |
| 1 | Big Brother versus Partner - what would you do?My SO is hurt because we have spent a lot of time with my brother. My brother and him have bonded and I think he considered my brother to be a friend. The last time they hung out, my brother even indicated to him that he was the kind of person my brother wanted me to be with. Then, his attitude seemed to totally changed. So he is hurt, but he's not telling me how to handle it. He hasn't said a word. Stepping away from them was something I initiated. We're planning on getting married within the y… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/05/18 11:29 AM |
| 4 | Big Brother versus Partner - what would you do?I'm measuring it more by the fact that I've had to move out and find a new place to live, and that my parents don't speak to me. Unfortunately, social media is a common part of modern life as well, and dealing with the nuances of relationships via technology is part of reality now. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/05/18 05:17 AM |
| 4 | Big Brother versus Partner - what would you do?See other comment - I explained more there. My family who is NOT part of the religion my parents and brother are do not express issues with the relationship. They have met my SO and like him. My brother even said he liked him, just didn't like him for me. We've definitely had a few issues, but not outside the realm of normalcy, and we're more constructive for each other than anything else. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/05/18 09:15 PM |
| 1 | Big Brother versus Partner - what would you do?I am 33. He is 45. We have been together 2 years. I lived with him for 9 months, but he is English and I am American; so we're long-distance right now. We're planning to get married within the year. My brother's criticisms include: he's older. He has kids from his previous marriage. I will be living mostly in England after we get married (too far away). He also thinks my SO relies / depends on me too much (I handle a lot of the busywork / details of the relationship; my SO has no problem asking … | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/05/18 09:13 PM |
| 3 | How much of the feminine nurturing and loving attitude is too much in a RP relationship?I would say the most important thing is to pull back. If you catch yourself taking care of everything, looking after him too much, making all the decisions, taking the lead - just stop. See what happens. See what he does. See whether he is able and willing to take control. There's nothing wrong with a guy who is cute or adorable, if he's also a good leader, decision maker, responsible, and knows how to man up when he needs to. If he can't do those practical things because he's acting boyish and … | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/18 07:36 PM |
| 29 | How much of the feminine nurturing and loving attitude is too much in a RP relationship?As a wife / female partner, it's important to monitor yourself and not cross the line into "Mother" territory. I think The Surrendered Wife touches on this, but I can't remember. But men will see women in their lives as either the "mother" figure, or the "sexual partner" figure. This is normal and natural. If you aren't careful, as a woman, and you (s)mother your man too much - even out of good intentions - you risk that he stops seeing you as a sexual being and starts equating you with his moth… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/18 01:44 PM |
| 4 | Are older men a good option?Captain / First Mate. Describes the dynamic of a relationship with a leader & a second-in-command. :) https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/69pi24/the_captainfirst_mate_dynamic/ | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/05/18 09:51 AM |
| 4 | Are older men a good option?Yep, for me, the relationships with guys of a similar age tended to disintegrate into a sort of "buddy" scenario almost. It didn't hold anything like a C/FM dynamic. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/05/18 05:47 PM |
| 15 | Are older men a good option?If it works for you, stick with it. Older man / younger woman is a long-running dynamic that has worked in a lot of cultures and eras for a very long time. My fiance is 12 years older, in his 40s. I'll be his second wife. I think our age difference is one of the reasons it works, even though I never really saw myself with an older man before him. The pros are that he's mature, smart, knows what he wants, he's fine with commitment (marriage / kids). The cons are that he can sometimes talk down to… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/05/18 03:35 PM |
| 9 | I am suffering from major fear of missing out/wasted youth.While I do understand a lot of what you're saying, some of is so kind of "off" that I think until you learn to think a bit differently, the frustration you're feeling will stay. While it hurts a lot to be bullied, left out, and socially awkward or isolated (I know from experience) - there are good things that can come from it, like your mom was trying to tell you. I look back now, and I remember, say, my closest girlfriend at school (I really only had one) having threesomes with two guys - at FI… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/05/18 09:29 AM |
| 20 | Just a bit depressed about modern marriageIt sounds to me like you are looking at just the wrong kind of guy in general. There are men out there who are financially stable (but maybe not wealthy), good leaders with "alpha" traits, raised with traditional values, who - deep down - are willing to marry the right woman. A few important things, I think, are to make sure the men you are considering know about your values. If marriage or kids are something you ultimately want, don't hide it. If they run off totally horrified, they aren't the … | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/18 06:37 PM |
| 24 | Just a bit depressed about modern marriageMy fiance is Indian. I am white. He went through all the above in his first marriage; on top of it, she never worked or contributed, was not an attentive mother, and was emotionally unsupportive and very negative. Though their divorce was fairly amicable, it's expected and not debated that he'll continue to support her financially, and always see that she has somewhere to live. It's a mess. I think he's relieved that I am self-employed, contribute financially, and that we are eloping. He's takin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/18 03:16 PM |
| 3 | What are your tips on managing working full time while doing all the housework/cooking?Pinterest has some great weekly chore management schedules. Those always helped me prioritize getting the little daily things done, and cycling out the bigger jobs. Crockpot cooking can be a big help! | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/18 07:07 PM |
| 9 | Should I be Worried About Our Age Difference?I don't think there is a hard-and-fast rule that must be followed here, but you are right to be cautious. It's possible for a man to be mature, masculine, a good leader, a good partner, at any age. But often, things are a certain way for reasons that are often the case. I've had two serious LTRs with younger guys - one was about 9 months younger, and the other was about two years younger. The first one wasn't mature at all (but we were basically kids). And - he was cheating, sleeping with younge… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/04/18 05:41 PM |
| 6 | Using a Mantra to STFUAbsolutely. When it comes to doing things, it's a bit easier. But even then, sometimes a dose of Let him be wrong helps. Sometimes, I know what he's asked me or told me to do is not the best option, or won't work. But I'd rather let him see that I've cooperated, and then he can learn from the (sometimes wrong) outcome. Captains can be wrong too - they're human. But it's usually not the best idea for the First Mate to TELL them they are wrong. Let them see it for themselves. And sometimes, the FM… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/04/18 03:16 PM |
| 39 | Using a Mantra to STFUSometimes, like when I 10000% know he's wrong, I stop and tell myself: "Let him be wrong." It's not my job to go around correcting the universe, and it's not going to hurt him to use a word in the wrong context or even to turn the wrong way. These aren't major ordeals, and they aren't worth coming across like a naggy know-it-all. And a lot of people learn better from experience than from being told something, so I'd rather he figure it out himself. Then, he gets to learn the lesson and his digni… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/04/18 11:00 AM |
| 4 | What are your hobbies and passions?Reading, especially self-improvement, psychology, and spiritual books. I love movies & well-written tv series. I work in fashion / beauty so I have an interest there. Also love art and travel. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/04/18 01:31 AM |
| 2 | What types of things do you compromise on?I sometimes find myself wishing my fiance had less of a temper, or wouldn't focus on work / money so much. But basically as soon as I think those things, I kick myself a bit, because those things are really tightly wrapped up with his masculinity, passion, leadership, and my attraction to him. He's not perfect, but I know his best traits can have frustrating sides. I wouldn't compromise and accept traits that are giveaways of a follower, an overly beta or feminine nature. I'd rather deal with th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/04/18 12:33 AM |
| 5 | What is the Rpw opinion about bikini pics on social media?It's probably all a matter of taste and opinion, but I would assume context matters a lot. Is it a picture at the beach or a pool, trying to capture a person - or a group - with beautiful scenery; a fun memory? It makes sense that there are bathing suits involved (though I'd lean towards modest suits, even then). Or, is it a picture in a bathing suit, only for the sake of posting a picture in a bathing suit? To me, that gets a bit more iffy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/04/18 12:22 AM |
| 1 | Self-reflection time. Things you know you shouldn't have done, yet you did them/said them/thought them lately.I just had a visit from my fiance, who currently lives in another country (getting married within the year so we can live together again). We got into two rough arguments, even though I'm doing my best - both involved what ended up being something like me, putting my family before him. It's a tough situation; my parents don't approve of him because he is from a different religion (they have basically disowned me because of it). The only member of my immediate family who will hang around us is my… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/04/18 12:08 AM |
| 3 | I'd rather struggle every day of my life rather than ever give a man the power to say 'you wouldn't have that if it wasn't for me'It makes me wonder what triggered off this post. I can't help but think of my dad, who was the type of person to say things like that. On the one hand, my mother was controlling and emasculating. On the other hand, my father was lazy, domineering, and selfish. Overall, they claimed to espouse traditional gender roles, but they both failed at demonstrating them. I can't imagine a situation in a proper RP LTR that should result in a man saying the above. It implies that she is perhaps showing a la… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/04/18 06:21 AM |
| 33 | “Men are intimidates by intelligence in women”AMEN AMEN AMEN To me, this is equivalent of a man saying "I'm too good-looking, and that's why I have problems with women. They are jealous of me because I am attractive." It sounds ridiculous, because it is. And if you met a man saying this - even if he was really good-looking - you'd be questioning what's really wrong with this guy. For one thing, he's going around talking about how attractive he is, which makes him kind of conceited. But we all know that great-looking guys who are also good g… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/04/18 08:14 PM |
| 3 | Ways you complement your SO?In what ways do you and your SO complement each other? In other words, what specific strengths do you bring to the table that he lacks, and vice versa? He is self-confident, forward-thinking, practical, mature, grounded, and experienced. I am socially conscious & diplomatic, fun, optimistic / inspiring, and polished. If we were a car, he'd be all the high-tech impressive mechanical stuff under the hood that keeps us moving; I'd be all the shine, polish, and leather that keeps us looking good. Al… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/04/18 12:03 PM |
| 15 | Im feeling discontent in my LTR and need advice as to what to do.I'm generally not for ending relationships without really good reason, and honestly I am newish to this sub so I hope I don't say anything opposed to general RPW belief. While it's possible that you meet the love of your life at 15 and spend forever together, in our day & age, I think it's really unlikely. It happens - but I would say it's rare. When a woman is a bit older and finds her eye straying to a new possible partner, I think there's a lot about branch-swinging that has to be taken into … | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/04/18 09:27 PM |
| 2 | Can men and women be friends?Yes, totally get you. Tbh I think what got in the way of some of his past relationships becoming serious was the mindset of most "modern" women. He is well-travelled and has lived in / dated women from different countries, but I think it was never going beyond casual with him because their beliefs on appropriateness were too far apart. Same for me. I dabbled with ideas of feminism and liberation, etc blah. But deep down, the way I was brought up made sense to me, and a long-term partner was gonn… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/04/18 02:01 PM |
| 1 | Can men and women be friends?Same. I'm overall pretty outgoing, lighthearted, a bit silly, light, "nice." When I sense that a guy at work is giving vibes or whatever, I basically just have to completely pretend they don't exist haha. I'm not great at being distant, cold, or rude - I only have two settings. Even weirder - sometimes even that doesn't turn a guy away. Men are wired to want to sleep with women. She doesn't even have to be nice to him, but if she is, it seems even more likely and it encourages them. Men really a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/04/18 11:53 AM |
| 2 | Women with IQs in the upper rangeI don't believe they are less scientifically valid. I don't believe the studies are flawed, biased, or wrong. They likely correctly represent the research of those particular studies. The same is likely true of the other side. I don't really base my argument on those studies alone, because they are highly debatable. I base my beliefs more on my own life experience and what I have personally seen. Some of the studies support that, some don't. My own experience doesn't fail me. Studies might. Lear… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/04/18 09:21 PM |
| 1 | Women with IQs in the upper rangeThe point I was trying to make is that there are so many recognised studies against and in favour of nearly every point of view, including on this. The correlation of IQ to life experience / success is highly debated in all kinds of respected scientific circles and there is not yet a completely accepted correct answer. I am not attempting to discredit you; I just found it ironic that you kind of dismissed one study by suggesting that the mensan test subjects may be more likely to be unbalanced p… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/04/18 08:38 PM |
| 1 | Women with IQs in the upper rangeLook, we can sit here throwing links at each other all day. This study argues that higher IQ doesn't mean higher wealth. This one concludes "There remains great uncertainty about the interpretation of IQ-job performance correlations and great caution needs to be exercised in using them as a basis for the validity of IQ tests and associated concepts." I'm sure I can find 10 more that are directly opposed to all the ones you just linked. Ironically you are citing mostly MENSA links, which will obv… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/04/18 06:58 PM |
| 3 | Can men and women be friends?My opinion seems slightly different than most? I don't really think men and women can be "friends." Not really. Acquaintances, sure. Both part of a group that hangs out together that might includes couples - i.e., you and your boyfriend and his friend and his friend's wife... all "friends" with each other, sure. But friends, like you are with your girlfriends? Talking about your lives, personal issues, your pasts, your dreams and hopes, laughing together... Nope. Not at all. It will turn into mo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/04/18 06:03 PM |
| 2 | Women over 28 are more easily plated and misled by men who sense their desperation.Interestingly, I don't think you can narrow this down to 20s, 30s, or whatever. In your example, the guy is in his 20s, so I guess the age range makes sense. My fiance is now in his mid 40s. Had a long and fruitful sexual career with women in his own general age group. Quite the eligible bachelor type. Wouldn't really commit. Met me - I'm 12 years younger than him - it's a whole different story. So I wouldn't quite peg it to a specific age bracket. But I would say men like younger women, and you… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/04/18 05:52 PM |
| 2 | How can I be a better mentor to my sister?You can't change another person's behaviour. All you can do is set a good example and hope she learns from it. She may never; but you've done the right thing and avoided being controlling. If she is ultimately toxic for you - frustrating to be around, or causes you grief or pain - you will have to learn where to set your boundaries and limits with her. Always be gentle and loving - she is still family, after all - but also, be firm. Don't try to tell her what to do, but don't let her tell you wh… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/04/18 05:43 PM |
| 2 | Women with IQs in the upper rangehttps://www.independent.co.uk/news/health/intelligence-mental-illness-iq-study-findings-depression-a8005801.html https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/bad-news-for-the-highly-intelligent/ | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/04/18 10:12 AM |
| 1 | Three Traits of a RPWAbsolutely!! Tbh, sometimes I think makeup ages me. I go really light on it. I think it's less about the specifics and more about the attitude - being put-together and thinking with a mind towards presentation and how you come across. It doesn't always take makeup to do that. :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/04/18 06:06 PM |
| 1 | Women with IQs in the upper rangeI grew up in gifted classes with the top 1% IQ testers in my school. Out of those 20 kids, probably 15 of them ended up with drug or alcohol issues, in bad or outright abusive relationships, one or two went to jail... I wouldn't say their IQs got them far. A few ended up doctors / nurses, are doing well. Not the rest. Whereas a lot of the so-called more "average" kids managed to adjust much better to life, have families, and seem to be pretty much happy and okay... I would call that more success… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/04/18 12:20 PM |
| 2 | Women with IQs in the upper rangeI can't tell you how many times I thought that I was right and he was wrong. I was SURE of it. I was kicking and screaming and SURE I was right. He managed to NOT murder me, and instead, explain himself. Which, really, he shouldn't have had to do - I should've trusted him. And for all my smarts, and high IQ, and top-of-the-classness; and his mispellings, and poor test results, and improper use of English... he was right. Being "smarter" doesn't always mean you are right. There's more than one wa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/04/18 12:16 PM |
| 1 | Women with IQs in the upper rangeThere can be a lot of risk in women thinking "Oh, I am super intelligent and that's why my relationships don't work out. Men are threatened by me. I'm just too smart to be with most men." Trust me, I know. That was me. Gifted classes, child IQ tests, skipping grades. Blah blah. I also was the world's biggest moron for a long, long time. Intelligence in some areas doesn't save you from being selfish, inconsiderate, judgemental, conceited, loud, too opinionated... just plain nasty. Those were the … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/04/18 12:05 PM |
| 2 | Fairness and Gender Roles - Let's Discuss!I think, as with everything, balance is key. Some women who don't or haven't had to really work to live, probably don't understand the toll it can take on someone. Men more or less sell their soul - and hours of their life - for however many dollars the world decides they are worth. They do this to promote a company they don't own, for people they might not even know or like. And it's all to pay bills they might not want for things they personally might not need, for the family they love - who m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/04/18 10:47 AM |
| 2 | revisiting the topic of "he is lucky to have me"I guess it's important to know what someone would mean by saying they are "lucky to have" someone. I feel "lucky" to be with my partner, but it's not because I don't think I deserve them. It's because our meeting was under unusual circumstances, and could've never happened. So I'm grateful that life brought us together, and I don't want to lose that gratefulness. I think I associate the expression "lucky" here with a general feeling of gratefulness, and I think gratefulness is always a good thin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/04/18 09:21 AM |
| 7 | The default male setting is beta.My partner is very alpha, who has softened and decided to settle after getting a bit older and having enough of the lifestyle. I do think his personality was formed from a young age, and I think he had mostly alpha traits even as a young teenager. But even so, he definitely went through what the OP says about puberty etc. His beta traits got stronger - and he was in a bad relationship in his early 20s that I think really emasculated him, and brought out the beta in him. Once he got out of that, … | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/04/18 12:35 PM |
| 16 | The default male setting is beta.You need to do two things right away. 1. Look in the mirror and see what you can change. As soon as I read this it made me think of the yin-yang, which symbolises feminine & masculine anyway, among other things. (Plus it makes sense because there's the bit of the feminine in the masculine, and the masculine in the feminine.) I had this mental image where there's this kind of border between a woman & man, and the further you push that border in, the more you crowd him out. When you pull back into… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/04/18 05:45 PM |
| 1 | A few Youtube interviews with couples I've enjoyedYes yes yes. I think sometimes women give themselves major headaches or fool themselves with analysing whether a guy is really into them, whether he will ultimately settle down, etc... My experience has been that if he really wants to be with you / even marry you, you won't have to question it. He'll make it very clear. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/04/18 04:22 PM |
| 7 | A few Youtube interviews with couples I've enjoyedI looooove the second one. My fiance is also a bit older than me, was a bit more well-off when we met. I like how he says he knew more or less right away that they would get married. It was the same with me & him. He had dated around... kind of a lot. But very quickly into our relationship, he was saying he could see himself marrying me, and here we are. It's not that men "can't" commit. It's that they won't commit if you aren't the one they want to be with. My SO has said in the past that some … | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/04/18 09:26 AM |
| 2 | This is why obesity is unattractiveQuestion on the WHR: why, at certain times in history, has this been different? For example, in the 1920s, it was considered most attractive and desirable to have narrow hips and a slim, straight figure; rather than to be curvy. At various times, "skinny" seems to be more popular. I've read the WHR studies and they make sense, but I can't remember what accounts for the occasional cultural leaning toward slimness over shape... | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/04/18 09:01 AM |
| – | Simple QuestionsI also found solace in admiring women with features I don't like in myself. Yes, yes, yes. There are a lot of classic beauties - actresses, even models - that have unusual features. Interesting faces are not un-beautiful faces, and sex appeal doesn't depend on your nose or ears. Try searching "unconventional beauty icons." (Uma Thurman is such a good example of this IMO. She's unusual looking, but feminine, fit, & sexy.) | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/04/18 06:49 PM |
| 2 | Femininity isn't superficialI think what qualifies as feminine dress and behavior will vary slightly from woman to woman. There is room for different tastes and attitudes. Some things would make one woman feel frumpy, and another feel va-va-voom. I think it has to do with self-honesty. Does your partner genuinely see your dress & behavior as attractive and feminine? (Mine doesn't like when I swear, which doesn't bother me particularly... but I try to curb it for his sake.) Are you honestly meeting your own standards of sel… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/04/18 06:11 PM |
| 1 | Three Traits of a RPWDone! | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/04/18 12:49 PM |
| 1 | Three Traits of a RPWAhh sorry. Will do. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/04/18 12:44 PM |
| 1 | Three Traits of a RPWDuly noted & edited. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/04/18 12:44 PM |
| 10 | Surprising male generosity/chivalry after applying RP as a womanThe less I look for ways to justify my wants and desires - the more I openly and honestly say what I want - the less issues I have with him. Previously, I would explain why I needed what I wanted, or I would try to find ways to almost manipulate it out of him. It nearly always went poorly. Since reading The Surrendered Wife bit about this, I don't explain. I just say what I want, what I need, or tell him (without apologising) when I've gone ahead and gotten an item I needed. I was so afraid it w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/04/18 11:45 AM |
| 7 | Hamstering versus valid feelings: commitmentTo me, an important question to ask would be; what is at the bottom of your doubts? Is your dissatisfaction rooted in a buried desire to "behave badly"? That's the hamster. Only you can be brutally honest with yourself about that. Or, are your doubts more related to feelings that he's not a man you'll be able to continue to love & respect? I think it's essential to feel a passion, respect, and adoration for him that is nearly unshakeable. But the keyword is "nearly." There will always be moments… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/04/18 11:32 AM |
| 3 | The consequences of trading up (video)I think everything they say in the video is valid. The rough part is that I think a lot of girls are unaware of all of this until they get a bit older - or they lack the maturity to care. By the time they get it, they've already made some questionable choices. In my late teens / early 20s, I thought I wanted marriage, but my requirements were that he was fun and good-looking. When that didn't work out, my requirements changed to fun and "safe." It wasn't until my mid-to-late 20s that I started v… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/04/18 09:27 AM |
| 4 | Three Traits of a RPWI totally get #1; but I have questions on #2 haha. Though you definitely want to be a kind-hearted person and never bitchy to your prospective / current SO, I would imagine that it's possible a RPW could be labelled as or taken for a bitch, by men she isn't interested in or by other women who don't really get it. I don't see her as a bitch at all, actually as the kind of person who is really kind and careful how she behaves, even if she stays a little guarded at first. But I wonder if a certain … | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/04/18 08:43 AM |
| 1 | When to let sleeping, drunk dogs lie? Sobriety & relapse question in a RP relationshipDefinitely true - I guess I'm asking since I wouldn't say he's in active addiction, he is in recovery. So I wasn't sure if that applied. But yes, I have read that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/03/18 07:25 PM |
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