Plutarcane Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
52	Avoiding Victim Mindsets	General	Plutarcane	/r/MensRights	11/02/23 06:49 PM
37	STOP Self Sabotaging	General	Plutarcane	/r/MensRights	20/02/23 05:21 PM
23	There Are Two Markets	General	Plutarcane	/r/MensRights	14/02/23 11:52 PM
18	Making Friends	General	Plutarcane	/r/MensRights	13/02/23 01:52 PM
4	Anxiety - A Problem and a Tool	General	Plutarcane	/r/MensRights	19/02/23 03:25 AM
4	Learned Helplessness	General	Plutarcane	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 04:19 PM
3	Is It In My Best Interest?		Plutarcane	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/02/23 05:57 PM
2	Is It In My Best Interest?	General	Plutarcane	/r/MensRights	15/02/23 05:56 PM
1	Spot the Manipulation: Tolerance Edition	General	Plutarcane	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 03:02 AM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	The sexuality of straight women is the driving force behind patriarchy Truly wild takes. Nobody seems to have heard the word cooperation.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/06/24 07:27 PM
4	Describe the average man dating experience ? The average guy is 5'9, not much muscle, and around 190. Chubby, plain faced dad bod. He's serotonergic by his 30s, losing hair, and makes perhaps 50k-80k. In short, he is low energy, unattractive, beaten down a bit, and rather desperate and pedastalizes women. Predictably, his dating experience is not that great. Most women pass him by. More desperate to settle down ones will eventually hit him up, but he will be second choice with low attraction. Essentially, he will serve as an ATM machine th…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/06/24 10:31 PM
3	How big of a deal is politics in dating and the widening gender gap I have found zero correlation between politics and dating success. I have, as I went through life, been extremely conservative, socialist, libertarian, and a few shades in between as I learned and grew. At no point did this have a discernable impact on my dating life. Women said they cared outwardly, but the results were the same. Part of that may be that I don't try to change people's views, I stopped trying in college when I realized I had zero results to show from 6 years of trying. If you're…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/03/24 07:04 PM
1	Are women choosing to be single because it's easier? What is the 4ss? Reality is there are many people who want to be single right now. Or who do not wish to marry. Almost none who picture being alone for life. Talk to enough single people and you'll start to get a feel for how most of them will tell you they really want a meaningful relationship, but cannot find anyone worth having that with.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/06/23 05:13 PM
-1	STOP Self Sabotaging Another day. Another dumbass. Imagine thinking this is a solution and not realizing it's a small bandage covering a large wound. Can't save everyone	/r/MensRights	20/02/23 06:38 PM
0	STOP Self Sabotaging Is there that much untruth? I don't know if I see that, but I certainly see lots of complaining and mindsets that are based in truth but self damaging to overly focus on and make the "core" of your viewpoint.	/r/MensRights	20/02/23 06:20 PM
1	Modern women who want to be treated traditionally… Only the childish ones. In today's modern world, with twisted incentives that's a large fraction.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/02/23 08:06 PM
1	Modern women who want to be treated traditionally… Do you think women are constantly walking around on edge Most women, yes. A little over half of my clients are women. When you've listened to hundreds of women and worked with them on anxiety and healthy attachment, the patterns are clear. We also know from psychology the difference in negative affect for women vs men over the distribution is substantial. As it also for agreeableness. Like all things, it's a distribution thing. Women are not a monolithic block. This doesn't ring true for all wom…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/02/23 04:21 PM
1	Anxiety - A Problem and a Tool Definitely. What are you anxious about? Are there patterns to what you're anxious about, or is it just "my body feel anxious and I don't like it?"	/r/MensRights	19/02/23 04:13 PM
1	Modern women who want to be treated traditionally… Many of men can provide excitement and status boost. Lol we don't really care about that. Maybe you personally do not. Most women do. Stereotypes are the most accurate measure of the distribution we have. There is a reason successful, but more intellectual, non-extrovert men without social skills tend to struggle to both get women and maintain a good relationship. Women like to be in their feminine. They like to be playful, have fun, be stimulated mentally and emotionally. That's providing excit…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/02/23 02:32 PM
1	Modern women who want to be treated traditionally… Plenty of men can provide financially. Many of men can provide excitement and status boost. Fewer men can provide security, both physical and emotional. Very, very, very few men can provide all three. Not that many can provide two. The important question is the not willing. Why aren't they willing? Usually, it's because they don't see anyone worth doing it for. A man that can provide all three is extremely valuable. A women needs to be damn impressive, in the ways that most men desire, to get a …	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/02/23 03:18 AM
1	Modern women who want to be treated traditionally… Equality of opportunity. Other than the feminist types, most women don't want equity. They don't want sameness. Most people prefer to function in the roles that they feel best suited for, and those vary over the distribution.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/02/23 03:14 AM
4	When my PE teacher gave the win to my opponent because she was a girl If you mean it like that, in that its causing you to doubt whether or not things will be meritocratic, then fair. I thought you meant like doubting your athletic ability. Fwiw, the world is not perfectly meritocratic. But it's pretty decently meritocratic, and if you play skills well you avoid the places where it isn't	/r/MensRights	16/02/23 08:50 PM
15	When my PE teacher gave the win to my opponent because she was a girl "This took another toll on my self-confidence as I was never a good badminton player and it was one of my only chance of advancing on the ranks at school." This is ridiculous. You won. You know you one. Somebody lying shouldn't hurt your confidence. " It also made me hate the school system even more." This, on the other hand, is quite reasonable. It's a very, very bad; arguably in it's own way, evil, system.	/r/MensRights	16/02/23 07:36 PM
1	If a woman having strong masculine traits is mostly irrelevant to men (e.g a high paying career) is a man having strong feminine traits irrelevant to women? You're missing key words. It needs to be: "having strong masculine traits generally is irrelvant" The distribution exists, and that does matter. We can't round everything off. Some men don't mind extreme career driven women, usually major career driven men themselves with a certain cognitive style. Feminine men we basically know about. They can sometimes provide a certain kind of comfort, they can also just flat out provide resources. As many women as have some lesbian tendencies as there are,…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/02/23 07:28 PM
2	Modern women who want to be treated traditionally… Driven, high conscientiousness people are like that. It's hard for you guys to unwind and relax some times. In your case then, it's a question of would you have been more stressed and less able to be a good partner if you worked that time instead of staying home? If the answer is still no, then you're part of the smaller percentage of the distribution of women that are naturally comfortable in a more competitive/aggressive traditionally masculine environment. Since it sounds like you did both, w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/02/23 06:23 PM
3	Modern women who want to be treated traditionally… Did you feel like you got support from your husband? Part of the SAHP model definitely has the one parent focused on keeping the domestic side going, while the other is able to recharge at home to focus on maintain productivity/earnings. But, I've heard from a reasonable number of women that didn't love it and usually: husband provided no support of any kind SAHP was all they did. No other real engagement with the world, nothing else meaningful they were pursuing	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/02/23 04:49 PM
6	Modern women who want to be treated traditionally… Well, as always it's just people having a hard time dealing with reality, or with the distributions. Either they are worried that what I said means "women can't do a good job working" or that what I said means "women can't work hard and be good wives" When what it really means is "For most, but not all, women it's very hard to work 10 hours a day and find herself able to relax into feminine energy and be a warm, caring, low stress person" and "Not all men, but many men, prefer a woman who is war…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/02/23 03:14 PM
6	Modern women who want to be treated traditionally… Men paying on the first date makes sense. Men initiate courtship. But yea...there are some women that want traditional relationships from the man, which is fine, but if they don't bring something else to the table....then it's not going to be an exchange. Most women don't seem to realize (or pretend tnot to realize) that most men don't really want a woman who works 10 hours and comes home stressed. And very, very, very few people can work 40+ hours a week and not be stressed, especially women co…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/02/23 03:02 PM
5	Is the gender war real? It's real...but like....way less real. In real life, only like 20% or less of people care like this (can be higher in very left areas and lower in conservative). Of those 20%, only like 25% of them are aggressively, brazenly that way. So its there in parts of real life, but kinda under the surface and not anywhere near as intense	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/02/23 01:22 PM
0	Is It In My Best Interest? Oooooooohhh. Soooo much RAGE! I love it :) The tl;dr of your post is "Don't try to get people to apologize for wrongdoing, don't call out people who are wrong" Do you like....read minds? Can you teach me? Because that's not close to the meaning of my post. Which must mean you can read my mind and know what I was actually meaning, that even I was too stupid to know when typing. The meaning, when I was typing anyway, was basically: "There is a tendency to want to act impulsively with strong emotio…	/r/MensRights	15/02/23 06:42 PM
0	Is It In My Best Interest? Yes, you're still naive enough and lack the understanding of psychology that enables you to believe that your goal is achievable across all humans. Most of our species does not naturally do "truth" and they cannot be trained to do so. Even the very best of us, yourself included, are horribly wrapped in bias. The best of us do falsification via adversarial competition to the extent possible. In a weird way, you're sort of right. Most people have to be indoctrinated to the truth, because that's ho…	/r/MensRights	15/02/23 06:36 PM
1	Is It In My Best Interest? But when you have a broadly defined goal, for example "to live a good life", it is difficult to derive specific behavior from it, especially quickly and under emotional pressure. To live a good life isn't really a goal. Like, I get what you mean....but what the hell does that mean? It's radically different for each person. As soon as you start to break it down into what makes a good life, then you start to see the goals. For me: 1) Act in accordance with reciprocity in all interactions and devel…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/02/23 06:22 PM
0	Is It In My Best Interest? What you are advocating is shortsighted thinking. It incorporates all of that. In your now extended examples, what are your goals? Clearly, you think you can stop people from believe in fairies. If you can, great! You've said that's your goal. Which means.....my framework encourages acting in alignment with that goal. You do get I agree with you, right?	/r/MensRights	15/02/23 06:16 PM
0	Is It In My Best Interest? As for the general stuff, my experience is that this is a very INEFFECTIVE way to get at your stated goal of moving towards truth. People do not respond very well to facts and logic. Only high systematizing cognition people respond well to that. For other types, you need different tactics. Usually it's gaining trust, and leading them towards the truth. You don't tell them they are wrong, you show them how to discover they are wrong. Is the thing I'm about to do going to help achieve that goal?…	/r/MensRights	15/02/23 06:14 PM
0	Is It In My Best Interest? The level of confusion in your thinking is substantial. Let's apply my framework to your examples. Part 1: What is the goal or outcome I want from this interaction? My goal is to pursue and advocate for truth, and so getting people with their heads stuck up their ass to apologize and admit not that i am right, but that the argument is right, and their argument was wrong, is very much in my best interest. Okay. Pretty clear goal. Identified. Let's apply part 2: Is the thing I'm about to do goin…	/r/MensRights	15/02/23 06:09 PM
2	There Are Two Markets shhhh	/r/MensRights	15/02/23 05:31 PM
3	Q4 Red Pill Men - what is your opinion on single fathers? You fathered a kid. You made the voluntary decision to bring life into this world. Your responsibility is forbearance of that kid. For his/her own good, and that of society. Failure to do so is evasion of responsibility at it's finest. I can think of few things less masculine than that.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/02/23 05:00 AM
2	There Are Two Markets That's true for the majority of them. Unfortunately, the sad truth of the world is that there are people who are low IQ, ugly, cursed with huge emotional problems, and no real skills. Even sadder, this is not an infinitesimal sliver of people. It's probably on the order of 5-10%, with yet another 5-10% being on the periphery of that. I absolutely agree there is a substantial fraction exactly like you describe. And they find incel community, which tricks them. It's essentialism. It baits them int…	/r/MensRights	15/02/23 04:00 AM
0	There Are Two Markets You missed the start of my post: > "Some men truly are incels. Like....nothing going for them" These are the people of whom you speak, and you are, without a doubt correct. I disagree perhaps only on the fraction, I think most of the (vocal) incels are those who are otherwise middle of the road men, who see how fortunate some men are, and rather than deciding to better themselves and strive for higher rank, instead thrown in the towel.	/r/MensRights	15/02/23 03:30 AM
1	There Are Two Markets Some men truly are incels. Like....nothing going for them. Those are VERY few. Most incels are guys who are actually okay looking, but pissed that females really do like successful, together, attractive men. Shocker. They are incel because they legitimately tend to hate women, and have horrible victim mindset and learned helplessness. They usually also think they are gods gift to women. That's a losing combo. They turn their okay looks into negative value.	/r/MensRights	15/02/23 02:50 AM
6	There Are Two Markets Sex gets more bravado and the like than almost any other topic. Thats a little more guys but, Kinder to ask first, rather than the arrogance of assuming I know your life	/r/MensRights	15/02/23 02:16 AM
9	There Are Two Markets Fwiw, people remain virgins for many reasons. You could be young, religious, waiting for right person....it's not a duh	/r/MensRights	15/02/23 02:09 AM
3	There Are Two Markets Well. Don't talk about it that way. Reframe to a way that feels "good" in your brain	/r/MensRights	15/02/23 02:09 AM
6	There Are Two Markets I can't speak for everybody. From a clients perspective, i definitely get women who aren't aware at all and are immensely relieved that it's not them, and that they can take different actions for results. For men, they usually are good at sorting between the two	/r/MensRights	15/02/23 02:06 AM
9	There Are Two Markets Reality is gross. Ever had sex? It's fun but like....lets be honest...sometimes some nasty stuff there 🤣	/r/MensRights	15/02/23 01:45 AM
10	There Are Two Markets Nah. Plenty of mgtow men can get women. They just can't get the good ones they want. This topic has nothing to do with incels. It has to do with effectively navigating relationships decision making as a man in a world stacked against men	/r/MensRights	15/02/23 12:22 AM
10	There Are Two Markets I deal in multi causality. Not essentialism.	/r/MensRights	15/02/23 12:16 AM
8	There Are Two Markets Nope. Totally different topics. Incels and MGTOW are not trying to build good relationships. They are bitter, checked out victims	/r/MensRights	15/02/23 12:14 AM
1	Do women understand men? Not really. Of course, NAXALT, but over the distribution the Iron Law of Woke Projection holds pretty solid. They have difficulty envisioning the way a highly systematizing mind works, in general. Some women can do it though	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/02/23 07:10 PM
3	Dont forget, you are now an incel You have woke indoctrinated friends. Nobody responds this way 1:1 without extensive woke ideology It's expected they would respond this way. Make some more conservative, or non woke friends	/r/MensRights	13/02/23 06:42 PM
3	Making Friends I think this is somewhat known advice but if you're really looking for an expert mentor in a formal sense.....be of value. Mention how much you love their work, and that you just want to help. Any clerical tasks you can do? Then do those WELL for several months. You've established value, and then you can probe about getting more involved with your mentors area of expertise.	/r/MensRights	13/02/23 03:31 PM
3	Dont forget, you are now an incel Yea. It's lame. Also, have you noticed how often the writing is horrible in shows or games? The (usually) very woke writers generally have dysfunctional empathy, so imo they cannot model humans well. As a result, they write absurd, unrealistic characters	/r/MensRights	13/02/23 01:17 PM
2	Dont forget, you are now an incel Are you vocal about pushing back against woke nonsense when it goes to far? Its fairly common for men to tell me, privately, that they agree with me and appreciate me speaking up. They won't support in public though, too dependent. Too worried if they do it will ruin their job or they are too worried it will ruin their relationships	/r/MensRights	13/02/23 01:15 PM
7	Dont forget, you are now an incel I just switched to ignoring all the dumb woke shit and pivoted more to my business, and to my continuing education and thinking. But, that's me, I'm insanely curious and love to think. I could see where that would suck major ass if you really, really like video games.	/r/MensRights	13/02/23 02:52 AM
76	Dont forget, you are now an incel Lol. This is how a small (but very loud) subset of society sees you. Most other men will respect you, unless deeply indoctrinated woke. Most just don't care that much either.	/r/MensRights	13/02/23 02:32 AM
0	what are and should be the proper age ranges for adults to date? It's individual. Some people are impossibly mature at 15. Others are never mature at 40. For most of the curve, aka not the exceptions, there is a reason "half + 7 is popular"	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/02/23 02:31 AM
2	You guys helped me a lot last time I asked about "arguments against gender pay gap" for my class. Now I'm back for arguments that The Patriarchy doesn't exist. Patriarchy would only be oppressive if men who are leaders acted in their own, selfish, best interests. If men act cooperative, and with reciprocity (voluntary, fully informed, warrantied, productive, does not impose costs on others), then there is zero oppression.	/r/MensRights	13/02/23 01:58 AM
6	Showerthought: women get empowered to not need a man so men also need to get empowered to not need a woman Lmao. "Proudly" Proudly coping LOL. Every single feminist I've met is absolutely miserable if they are over 30. They are of course, almost always single. They are cheered on yes.... We call that "baiting into hazard". They try to corrupt the women because they know they are nowhere near as desirable as the women who avoid their toxic mindset	/r/MensRights	13/02/23 01:47 AM
2	Are women choosing to be single because it's easier? They are not happy lmao. Almost no one (although there are some) is happy being single. That's just coping. Women remain single for many reasons, a few of which are: 1) Women are more career successful than before, and generally won't "date down" that way so their pool is smaller 2) Woman tend not to realize there is a difference between SMV and MMV. They have high MMV and are able to attract quality guys for sex. But because their MMV isn't as high, they can't lock the guys down. So they misj…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/02/23 01:06 AM
6	Going through a Coercive Control situation and almost every resource is made for Women. Message me. We can talk. Sometimes all you need is someone to help strategize while you're desperately staying afloat	/r/MensRights	13/02/23 12:44 AM
1	Learned Helplessness Interesting paper. Seems plausible at a minimum, it definitely matches the historical patterns.	/r/MensRights	13/02/23 12:05 AM
2	Learned Helplessness That last sentence is the problem. Nailed it. It occurs when you feel trapped and don't have solutions. Sometimes you need other people and new ideas. It's rarely someones fault ime. Most men already have significant LH from school even before "life"	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 05:08 PM
2	Learned Helplessness It's not a method. It's a cause. There is a shitload of literatute about learned helplessness in the field of psychology going back to at least the 70s. I'm emphasizing its an underrated cause or contributor to depression, especially in men. Solutions are fairly individual, and depend on figuring out what helplessness you have internalized	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 04:59 PM
2	Learned Helplessness Plenty of academic research on this. It's nothing new in academia. Where do you think I learned this? Same way AA is 10-15% effective, but Sinclair method is 85% effective in most literature. Yet....hardly anyone knows about Sinclair method for quitting alcohol.	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 04:48 PM
2	Learned Helplessness Medical is all about drugs to treat diseases. Except for very clear one system-one cause diseases (broken bone for ex), where modern medicine is amazing....medicine otherwise struggles. It's too individual. Too complex and integrated across too many systems. Most work is focused on shotgun drug treatments to stop symptoms, not causes. So...yea....medicine isn't the avenue. I didn't develop a drug. If more therapists knew, that would be good. That's part of why men don't have as much success with…	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 04:31 PM
5	Avoiding Victim Mindsets Agree. Discussing it and processing it you're on the money. It's healthy. And probably some people read this as saying you shouldn't do that. The thing I'm advocating against is basically your last sentence: "I'm fucked. My parents ruined me." "I'm oppressed and just going to get screwed by that" That doesnt help you. Versus: "Yea. My parents fucked me up. What can I do now to start becoming healthier" "Yea. There is some legit oppression. What can I do to start navigating that successfully"	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 04:05 PM
3	Avoiding Victim Mindsets You may be shocked to learn that this doesn't cure you.	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 12:59 PM
2	Avoiding Victim Mindsets Good to know. Lots of people are (to me oddly) readong this as a "oh hes claiming it's soooo easy to fix yourself" Or a "oh he wants me to pretend all this hurt doesnt exist". Both are false	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 12:46 PM
0	Spot the Manipulation: Tolerance Edition Yes. There is. I don't mean monetary cost. Putting up with stuff that bothers you is a cost. You're free to think that they are an absolutely repulsive human for not tolerating someones existence. You're not (ethically) free to force them to do so.	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 05:54 AM
1	Spot the Manipulation: Tolerance Edition As someone who is pro gay/trans (both because it's odd to be that intrusive in sexual life and because its a huge boon to the dating crisis) I don't agree. If I ask someone to tolerate gay/trans, I'm asking them to pay a cost. As much as I dislike it, it's wrong for me to force them to pay a cost they don't want. It's a cost because it impinges on their own way of life, their own beliefs, in their own community that already existed. It's wrong for me to force costs onto others. And tolerate in s…	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 05:46 AM
1	Avoiding Victim Mindsets Did anybody say they were easy to overcome? I help people overcome them. It ain't easy.	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 03:35 AM
1	Avoiding Victim Mindsets Acknowledging my luck in doing so is not exactly bragging. Bragging would be if I said I was so absolutely amazing and it was all my hard work and I'm so special and shit. I was basically like "yea I did some right things but I was lucky as shit to be given some good gifts" How would I, without bragging, communicate my escape from poverty any differently? You're close afaict to saying "any mention of success is bragging.	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 03:25 AM
2	Avoiding Victim Mindsets Exactly. And the hard times create the demand for good men and for truth. Those that reject both fail to adapt and don't make it. Literally or figuratively. I hope we prevent ugly times, but I cannot express optimism. Perhaps if we seperate, and soon. Just doesn't seem likely	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 03:18 AM
3	Avoiding Victim Mindsets Individual men are desperately needed in their local communities without a doubt. And it would be great if more men could break from the system so they could stand honestly against things without fear of cancelation. Part of why I switched to coaching. On the larger stage, I'm not sure the time is there yet. Its coming, but the buffer between nature's feedback is still to large to force enough demand for truth, and for answers	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 03:09 AM
2	Avoiding Victim Mindsets Great attitude. Just laugh and enjoy the absurdity of the times we are in. While preparing for when nature's correction creates demand for responsibility and a return from false promises. Clients I work with that have attitudes like yours get more out of coaching, and usually life in general, than anybody else.	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 02:58 AM
2	Avoiding Victim Mindsets Well said	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 01:38 AM
3	Avoiding Victim Mindsets I wish I did. I wouldnt struggle with binge eating 2000 calories of junk food several nights a week if I did. My life is good. It's a looonggg way from perfect. Unfortunately, I've only got things that I have seen work for me and people I've coached, along with some principles for why certain things should work.	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 01:36 AM
1	Avoiding Victim Mindsets Hmmm. I've never before said "The bad stuff that happened to me was my fault" .....and had someone tell me that makes me a victim.	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 01:33 AM
2	Avoiding Victim Mindsets > "So if my father hurt me its my responsibility?" From your POV yes. Obviously, systems should also seek to prevent this and hold the father accountable for abuse. But, from your individual view you cannot hold your dad responsible. If he left you fucked up, with no skills you have two choices: 1) Stay as you are. Dysregulated. No Skills. Destined for shit relationships 2) Accept you got dealt a shitty hand. Then start fixing the dysregulation and acquiring skills. Nailed it. > " I should be re…	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 01:24 AM
4	Avoiding Victim Mindsets Because it's what men do. Throughout all of history. It's true they need to learn how to prevent women from breaking so many things. We adapted to male aggression. We haven't adapted to female aggression as a society (yet). Being a victim doesn't prevent hurt. It still hurts. In fact it hurts more because now it hurts and you think you're powerless, so you're depressed and hurting rather than just hurting. Also, the answer is seperation and community building. Find good women, and especially goo…	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 01:21 AM
4	Avoiding Victim Mindsets I can't guarantee this brings success. But it brings FAR more opportunity for success than the alternate mindset. It's also MUCH better for regulating your own emotions in a healthy way. I'm with you. The man hating is awful. Luckily, we can build communities and friendships where that kind of stuff doesn't happen and isn't tolerated.	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 01:10 AM
1	Avoiding Victim Mindsets Starting in poverty is not....usually....considered easy. I'm open to the idea, but you haven't explained why you think that. What are your measures for easy? How do you judge who has it easy and who does not? I have stated what works best for myself and clients, and what successful men have in common. If you want to interpret that as me "being better" that's a weird anti-flex but nowhere have I extolled any sort of superiority. I disavow that claim (of superiority). What I have done has worked,…	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 01:05 AM
0	Avoiding Victim Mindsets Much harder than most people. I would say easy life the wrong way to say it. Lucky would be closer to the truth. I was lucky that I was given a good mind, decent looks, and excellent health. Much, much easier than some of the horror stories. But had my share of difficulties. Spent portions of my childhood homeless. Lost everything a couple times.	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 12:45 AM
0	Avoiding Victim Mindsets Well, you'd have to take it from me. If you want money for no reason, you better be able to take it by force. Or be convincing such that I would give you money.	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 12:42 AM
-1	Avoiding Victim Mindsets The difference is, complaining about the system does nothing. It causes my locus to change onto something I cannot change, rather than place the locus on the ways I could change to adapt to the system. More importantly, it gives me a clear head to think about what I can do in a system that is rigged. We don't disagree that the current setup is fucked. The difference is, you're a poor victim of the awful system. There was nothing you could have done. You're unhappy, bitter even, dysregulating you…	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 12:39 AM
2	Avoiding Victim Mindsets I've been through divorce. I lived this reality for some time. There was no complaining. Only frustration at my own foolishness and carelessness, I made the choice to get married in such a skewed system. I paid the price. Don't be like me that way. What did I do: 1) I recognized I was an idiot in the way I selected my partner, and paid the price for my stupidity. 2) I took a close look at the problem to understand how I could avoid it ever happening to me, and if I could do anything about it now…	/r/MensRights	12/02/23 12:36 AM
5	Avoiding Victim Mindsets Yes. If you make mistakes, you take responsibility for them. My generation, which includes mistakes I made....allowed us to get to this unfortunate state. I'm not blaming, I'm taking responsibility.	/r/MensRights	11/02/23 11:28 PM
4	Avoiding Victim Mindsets No. It's not saying that. It's saying that thinking of yourself as victim has zero benefits. And many harms. The only productive action is finding solutions.	/r/MensRights	11/02/23 11:27 PM
1	Men should embrace masculinity by working out or participating in sports Men acquire responsibility as an inevitable consequence of upwards movement in various hierarchies in order to better their position for mating markets.	/r/MensRights	11/02/23 11:24 PM
1	Men should embrace masculinity by working out or participating in sports I think the issues are that: The system isn't designed to serve one or the other You seem to have chosen an unspecified zero point. That it's masculine to seek agency, doesn't mean that it's feminine to avoid agency. The feminine edge of the continuum could be at zero agency. It could be at some. It could be at alot. Masculine development of agency in order to pursue acquisition of responsibility as an imperative of the masculine doesn't mean the opposite of it in the feminine. Much like respons…	/r/MensRights	11/02/23 08:02 PM
2	Men should embrace masculinity by working out or participating in sports Oppression requires irreciprocity. Does it leave someone better off than they were? Domestication. This is why good parents, despite making all decisons for young kids, are not oppressive. They are domesticating the kids. Domestication creates reciprocity Oppression creates irreciprocity Patriarchal in that men and a small fraction of outlier women are the best decision makers across time and at scale. So, men gather and consider all inputs (including needs of women) and make decisions that are …	/r/MensRights	11/02/23 07:50 PM
5	Avoiding Victim Mindsets How is this a problem for you, are you in such a relationship? If you mean the societal level problem, you're powerless to change it. Unless you dedicate your life to it, and even then who knows. If it's that important to you, best thing would be to start building good men around you in preparation for what lies ahead. Starting teaching then how to do the stuff below. In your personal case, this should be irrelevant. Don't tolerate such behavior from women. If a woman treats you that way, elimin…	/r/MensRights	11/02/23 07:41 PM
3	Avoiding Victim Mindsets Whichever is most productive at bringing about your goals. And those goals should be structured ground up in my mind. Organize your own life, then that of a close group of friends, them community, then larger. Name a problem you have and I'd let you know how I would approach it.	/r/MensRights	11/02/23 07:31 PM
4	Avoiding Victim Mindsets Nobody is saying supress feelings. I mean, don't be a dumbass and yell at people....but definitely channel that anger into productive tasks that bring you closer to your goals. Regulation of emotions is a masculine trait. Suppression of emotions is stupid fake masculine machismo crap	/r/MensRights	11/02/23 07:28 PM
5	Avoiding Victim Mindsets Which you want to be doing (take action) And no you cannot divorce yourself from society. Well....you can. But it's not healthy. But you CAN escape the ugly aspects of society by building a great community of high trust, high reciprocity men and families, which shields you from 99% of all the horseshit	/r/MensRights	11/02/23 07:25 PM
2	Avoiding Victim Mindsets Who said you should keep quiet? Men have ability to express feelings and take action. It's our fault as men we are here....we allowed this to happen, and continue, starting with the boomers. But, that's no excuse for whining. It's a damn good reason for action	/r/MensRights	11/02/23 07:23 PM
1	Men should embrace masculinity by working out or participating in sports There is pretty obviously in my opinion a patriarchy, in the sense that men and women are optimized for different roles over the distribution. The feminist claim is that it's oppressive. To which I disagree	/r/MensRights	11/02/23 07:21 PM
0	Avoiding Victim Mindsets Oppression feminine Conspiracy is masculine Irreciprocity is the word you're looking for. You never want to "pretend" anything. Lying to yourself is foolish. A better frame would be ones like: "This is further destroying commons and reducing cooperation in civilization, hastening natures feedback and pressure that will create the incentives to course correct" Or "Yes, this is happening, but I'm making the correct moves in my life to acquire skills and resources so that these irreciprocal laws ar…	/r/MensRights	11/02/23 07:17 PM
1	Men should embrace masculinity by working out or participating in sports Feminine is reactive and acted upon. They are always reading emotions to decide how to respond. Masculine takes action. Building systems across time.	/r/MensRights	11/02/23 07:04 PM
9	Social circles are really not a good way to meet women Yea, this is an unusual situation. You have a particularly neurotic group, or more likely you're just not high enough value. She doesn't think her friends will be interested....or she doesn't trust the ability for you to handle a breakup.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/02/23 06:55 PM
1	Men should embrace masculinity by working out or participating in sports It's not a masculine endeavor per se, outside of the responsibility aspect. Agency is masculine. Without health you do not have agency, so maintenance of health and acquisition and improvement of said health is indeed masculine.	/r/MensRights	11/02/23 06:49 PM
–	Hot single moms on dating apps prove that women can stay fit during marriage but they choose not to I mean, I don't think "proof" was needed. Obviously people can stay in shape. The difference is the loss in maturity and growth to adulthood. Relationships used to be about putting the needs of your partner in front of your own needs in preparation for doing the same with children. The incentive to do that is less. It's all about your happiness. "I'm not happy, I'm leaving" Same thing happens in long term relationships. Single people, the vast majority, want to attract a high quality partner. Es…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/02/23 06:38 PM