PopularEquivalent651 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
17	Those of you in relationships, were you "whole" or "healed" when you met your partner? Do you think we unconsciously see love as a prize/reward?	Discussion	PopularEquivalent651	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/06/25 09:45 PM
16	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months?	Question For Men	PopularEquivalent651	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/25 02:47 PM
7	Besides high standards, feminism, or something else that is women's fault, why do some young men struggle to ask women out these days?	Discussion	PopularEquivalent651	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/04/25 09:11 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	Men who dated "experienced" women, how do you deal with the fact that your partner likely hooked up with guys hotter than you? What people think they care about and what they actually care about are often different things.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/10/25 10:09 PM
1	Women aren't going to drastically change their lifestyle so that someday you might want to marry them. I mean... agree and disagree. As a man who was promiscuous in my early 20s, I nearly did miss the boat re: finding someone decent to settle down with. It passes further than you think. I don't think women should shape their decisions today around being desperate to marry some guy. I do think everyone — male or female — would be wise to consider what they are signalling with their actions. Having a one night stand a few times is different from doing it all the time. And if you (male or female) tr…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/10/25 07:47 PM
12	Being a 20+ year old virgin is reasonably seen as a red flag for a potential mate and that is not virgin shaming I don't think it's wrong to see it as a turn off, but "every single woman in your life finds you undesirable" definitely is shaming.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/10/25 07:40 PM
17	The worst thing about modern expectations is that women roles and social duties have been eased while men roles and social duties have increased or stayed same I'm sorry but this simply isn't true. I am a man. I care about men's issues. Research shows that women — after taking on careers — still end up doing most of the housework and emotional labour in relationships. So, it's not true to say things have gotten easier for them but harder for men. In many ways things have actually gotten harder for women.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/10/25 07:39 PM
2	Those of you in relationships, were you "whole" or "healed" when you met your partner? Do you think we unconsciously see love as a prize/reward? I do think healing helps with being more selective and getting into the right relationship. I also wasn't looking when I met my gf and it took meeting someone as special as her to make that jump.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/06/25 11:32 AM
2	Those of you in relationships, were you "whole" or "healed" when you met your partner? Do you think we unconsciously see love as a prize/reward? Yeah I agree with you — especially your last paragraph. Social connection is primal. It's something many species — penguins, sheep, wolves, mice — do. I'm not gonna pretend I find it personally easy or that modern life doesn't make it much more complicated. I'm just saying it's one of our basic biological functions — like eating or sleeping — and so the idea we must prepare ourselves for it so heavily is... not universal. No shame, of course, to anyone who does need that support. Biologically sp…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/06/25 11:30 AM
–	CMV: Men would be disgusted if women were as sexual as they were I'll explain it so it's simple: Men naturally want sex all the time, regardless of if gay or straight. Physically and emotionally, that want builds up. Women want sex less and tend to only want it when emotionally bonded. So functionally speaking, a lot of men live in a culture where sex usually implies emotions, except in a select few cases. When a woman chooses you, she generally places you above all other men. It is ordinarily a huge complement when a woman chooses you — she's doing something…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/06/25 05:50 PM
–	CMV: Men would be disgusted if women were as sexual as they were It's more that given women are sexually discriminate, if she chooses (or chose) to have sex with someone who's not you then you're going to take it personally. Men wouldn't be as uptight about women choosing them or not if they didn't need to be chosen in order to have sex. For the record i don't care about any woman's history one way or the other. I just think you're ignoring the structural reasons behind why a lot of men do.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/06/25 05:38 PM
–	CMV: Men would be disgusted if women were as sexual as they were I watched the video. I think anyone who assaults their partner in their sleep is behaving unacceptably, regardless of sex or gender. So I don't see what scene 1 has anything to do with horniness. With the following scenes, I understand why it is uncomfortable for women (I am a trans man so I've been on both sides), but I honestly think most men would enjoy it if they had women coming up to them like that in public — i know I would if I was single. The other thing is we don't need to imagine if w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/06/25 05:31 PM
0	What do you think about the idea that most women won’t date a bisexual guy? Do you think it’s true? If i could describe how "toxic masculinity" is perpetuated within the dating scene, then it's from women who say stuff like this. I'm very lucky to have met my girlfriend who doesn't give a shit if I am "too emotional" and loves me unconditionally. I also happen to have experimented with men before in the past, and she knows and accepts this. None of this at the expense of traditional gender roles either — she's feminine, I'm masculine, we just don't reduce each other or ourselves to that. But a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/06/25 05:15 PM
1	What do you think about the idea that most women won’t date a bisexual guy? Do you think it’s true? Of you are attracted to a trans person before learning they are trans though, then clearly your attraction isn't based on birth sex?	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/06/25 05:09 PM
1	What do you think about the idea that most women won’t date a bisexual guy? Do you think it’s true? I'm curious — would you date a trans man who was straight? Not trying to debate by asking this. I've just never met anyone who'd exclude bi people from their dating pool but not trans people, so I'm curious about it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/06/25 05:09 PM
1	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months? I'm genuinely not trying to shame anyone, so sorry if it came off that way. I am trying to prompt self-reflection and self-improvement. Particularly among men who blame it on women being picky. I'm not saying women are never difficult or picky, but the only men who are in a position to make those kinds of assessments are those who actually try. More importantly though, if you want sex or a relationship then you owe it to yourself to try. If you don't, fair enough. If you want circumstances to pi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/04/25 11:15 AM
1	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months? Not sure where I suggested you ask random women out on the street? In terms of parties there are ways if meetijg more people/ trying to get invited to some. I've also found networking events and singles nights good when I've gone on stints of not being invited to parties. I'm also not suggesting per se you do anything. It's up to you really. You're responsible for who and how often you decide to ask out, and how many opportunities to do this thst you pursue, because it's your life.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/04/25 08:48 AM
2	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months? Agreed. I didn't try as hard as you did it seems, but I did try consistently and continuously improve and work on my ability to talk to women. And after lots of false starts now I've met my gf. I wouldn't want to be with anyone else. I personally feel like I've found my person. What I will say is even though it's our core personalities that attracted us to each other, talking to all those women who rejected me did help me to be smooth and more socially aware when I first met my gf. Actually get …	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/04/25 05:57 PM
1	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months? I'd say gyms are tough environments cos men outnumber women and they're generally all much physically stronger than them. Like, without laws and civilisation it's the sort of place a woman could get mass sexually assaulted if a grouo of men there wanted to do that, and she'd be powerless to stop it physically. I guess the question is are there other places you go where you can meet women? Even stuff as simple as do you have a sister who invites you to social events that her friends attend?	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/04/25 10:37 AM
1	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months? I meant either. For me my mind was always on fucking women and romantic relationships just developed more organically, but also just cos I was trying to fuck a woman didn't mean I wasn't also open to dating her. I'll let you do the breakdown re: strangers, friends, exes, etc. Not tryna be difficult but it's really up to you.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/04/25 10:32 AM
1	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months? Ahhh man that's a shame, though I hope it's comforting to know there's nothing you could've done. Best of luck with the next one	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/04/25 10:28 AM
1	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months? Hmmm. I do agree with your criticisms of hot and cold approaches, but the issue with dating apps is they are basically like doing cold approaches in an environment where men outnumber women at a 9:1 ratio. Even as someone who has reasonably good luck with women IRL, there is no way I'd expect to pull in a club with those ratios so why would it be different on an app? To me it never really feels right cold approaching women and I never did that. I would do warm approaches (I'm including asking ou…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/04/25 10:27 AM
1	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months? Wow that's quite ballsy. How did it go for you?	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/04/25 10:23 AM
2	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months? Hmmm these issues make it harder, but they don't seem insurmountable. Not tryna invalidate you or anything but women are 50% of the population. Your friends have sisters and those sisters have friends. Your mates might have girlfriends who can introduce you to people. Sorry — not tryna cut you down. Just compare it to your career. What would you suggest to someone who's at a dead end with it and struggling to figure out next steps? Maybe try and apply an analogue of that to your dating life?	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/04/25 12:39 AM
1	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months? I agree. I think men and women face different types of specific pressures while dating, but at the end of the day what it boils down to is 1. Pursuing what you want, 2. Emotionally connecting with people. And maybe also 3. Deciding who is worthy of your attention. It all takes time, skill, practice. It might come more naturally for extroverted people, but being introverted isn't an "excuse" because it is still a choice to choose to succumb to it over pursuing major life goals. Kind of like if an…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/04/25 12:36 AM
2	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months? Oh I'm the same re: jobs. I've been wanting a new one for the past two years but simply haven't gotten round to putting proper effort in cos it's so nerve-wracking. I get the struggle and like I get we are all only human. I'm just never gonna encourage this as the correct approach, even if it's the one I take currently. In terns if parties I think you're underestimating how much I get it. I have one friend who invites me to them and I've just stuck with him. A good alternative is to do nights ou…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/25 11:00 PM
1	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months? Sounds like you're in a similar boat to me except apps actually worked for you. I'm either ugly or bad at selling myself (via apps at least). So i had a similar experience to you except more in person flirting and fewer first dates. But hey we both got there. Congrats on your relationship.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/25 10:54 PM
2	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months? Yeah I mean the pressure to initiate is tough, but it is there. Can't do anything about it. And the fact is there are men who are comfortable asking women out. As long as they exist, more anxious men including myself are gonna have to overcome our fear of rejection if we want to get anywhere.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/25 10:53 PM
5	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months? It's not about failing or succeeding. It's your life and you're living it for yourself. You have goals. You either work towards them or you don't. It's up to you.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/25 10:51 PM
1	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months? Good on you man. Best of luck	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/25 10:47 PM
0	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months? I deffo get this but I think dating apps are a toxic environment. If you can find a way to lower the social risks re: asking women you know out, I'd consider that.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/25 10:46 PM
1	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months? Yeah I'm not gonna lie i thought i was moderately attractive lmfao given I've gotten further with women than most single guys I know, but turns out I might just be one of the only guys out there who ever flirted or asked women out!! Oh well, I'll take it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/25 10:44 PM
6	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months? You are probably very good looking if you've got 50 matches on a dating app. I never got more than 5 on any single one. I think you can absolutely find a gf if you start branching out more in person, assuming you want to. If you don't want one fair enough I'm just saying your dating app stats are impressive from my perspective.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/25 10:41 PM
0	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months? I've had 5 matches total on Tinder and pretty sure they were just bots. But I meet women irl semi regularly who are attracted to me. Dating apps are garbage. They have a 90:10 ratio that allows women to be extremely picky. Don't read into them.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/25 10:39 PM
2	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months? It's the same for me too. I really relate to what you wrote there believe it or not, and I employ the same strategies you do. For every girl I've met who's given me open body language and lightly touched me, there've been a ton more who've shuffled away from me, avoided too much eye contact, had that polite smile they do, short responses, etc. I will be honest that I think it's possible I'm in say the 20th-30th percentile of guys — i get more attention than some guys I know. But I also get way l…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/25 10:34 PM
0	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months? It's ultimately up to you what balance you strike re: asking women out, but personally I did ask women out at a higher rate, even though I'm also quite introverted, and it has paid off for me (see my edit). There's no right or wrong way to ask women, or people generally, out. There are just goals and steps you can take towards or away from them. Actions which are compatible with your desires and actions which aren't. I think your approach works if you want a long term relationship with someone y…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/25 10:22 PM
1	Men, how many times have you asked a woman out over the past 12 months? Because rejection and electric shocks are different things, and the literally ability to reproduce is sitting on the other side of that fence.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/25 10:12 PM
0	Besides high standards, feminism, or something else that is women's fault, why do some young men struggle to ask women out these days? Why are you assuming she's weird or lying? Also, how many times have you asked a woman out?	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/25 02:39 PM
2	Besides high standards, feminism, or something else that is women's fault, why do some young men struggle to ask women out these days? I mean fair play that makes sense for you.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/25 02:37 PM
1	Besides high standards, feminism, or something else that is women's fault, why do some young men struggle to ask women out these days? Thanks for raising that. I deffo didn't mean it this way, though can see how it came off. To clarify, the reason I wrote it this way is because someone else made a comment like "men get scared of women who are really hot and see them as unattainable" (I'm paraphrasing), and so I wanted to clarify it's not as if she looks like some otherworldly woman you'd only encounter on the cover of vogue. I wouldn't even have thought to bring up her weight had that point not been made elsewhere (i get it was…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/25 02:37 PM
2	Besides high standards, feminism, or something else that is women's fault, why do some young men struggle to ask women out these days? I can assure you finding love is definitely not a waste of time.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/25 12:20 PM
0	Besides high standards, feminism, or something else that is women's fault, why do some young men struggle to ask women out these days? I mean... this just isn't true. She was very funny, engaged, pretty flirty too. She was very comfortable interacting eith men lmfao given that 90% of her coursemates were male and so she had to be friends with them. And she had strong vibes with one guy in particular at the party, though she said he was just a friend. She's also dated before lmfao — not sure why everyone's assuming she hasn't. She's just done the work of asking the guy out, or initiating a conversation, or whatever. I don't thin…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/25 12:18 PM
1	Besides high standards, feminism, or something else that is women's fault, why do some young men struggle to ask women out these days? Agreed. This woman in particular wasn't model-esque or anything like that. She was slightly chubby, though not fat, which from a looks-based perspective should have made her seem more attainable. If I had been single it's her personality and general presence that would've done it for me. Very funny, confident, intelligent, and had a classy voice. She deffo wouldn't have been every man's type but it'd be insane to suggest she's no man's type. Those men just haven't ever asked her out for some rea…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/25 12:10 PM
0	Cold approaching is the answer to every man's problems when it comes to dating but most men don't want to put in the work it takes to get to the point of being able to do it. How do you know she hasn't? The conversation wasn't about why she can't find a relationship. It was she thinks she's unattractive cos no one is asking her out. Like it or not our culture says men ask women out and not the other way round. It doesn't carry the same meaning, socially speaking, when a woman vs a man is never asked out.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/04/25 10:21 PM
0	Cold approaching is the answer to every man's problems when it comes to dating but most men don't want to put in the work it takes to get to the point of being able to do it. Yeah this makes sense. I was always much more cautious with women i knew, and would generally need a lot of flirting before thinking about building up to asking her out. Step 2 could've been really helpful for me and I upvoted your post. At the same time though, it's also not rocket science. I didn't do step 2 and 3 but happened to meet my gf in strange circumstance and siezed the opportunity once it was clear she liked me. I think there's a lot less of meeting women organically, so it's harder,…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/04/25 09:18 PM
1	Cold approaching is the answer to every man's problems when it comes to dating but most men don't want to put in the work it takes to get to the point of being able to do it. Shortly after I got with my gf, I met a woman at a party who was 24 years old, and while I had no interest in her due to my girlfriend (and mentioned my gf early to keep the conversation above board), I can recognise she was attractive and most likely someone I'd have asked out had I been single. We got chatting about dating, and she'd told me she'd NEVER been asked out. Not even once. This was a 24 year old woman at a university that was 90+% men. What the fuck were they doing?? I actually got …	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/04/25 08:49 PM
1	Non-westerners and non-assimilated foreigners are ruining western dating discourse and western dating. I don't completely disagree with your point but isn't reddit dominated by Americans? I assumed it was just conservative American men being sexist. But yes culture impacts dating culture a lot, because the two are intertwined.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/04/25 08:30 PM
2	There is a selection effect at play which superficially bolsters red-pill theories I think the true bias is probably in people who marry early vs people who settle down later. People who marry early often 1) met as young people, before they got burned or even got to see much of the world, and 2) are generally secure or anxious in terms of attachment styles. OTOH people who are single in their mid-late 20s (especially long term single) and beyond will have a higher proportion of avoidantly attached individuals in their pool. Avoidant people generally look for more shallow thing…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/03/25 06:18 PM
1	I was proven wrong yesterday regarding women and biphobia. But I don't understand the reasoning. No one's saying it's a problem. Just be honest. Own the fact you find bi men disgusting.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/03/25 04:17 PM
0	I was proven wrong yesterday regarding women and biphobia. But I don't understand the reasoning. I'm a trans guy. I've dated lesbians, bi women, and straight women. While the stigma from lesbians towards bi women exists and is horrible, I don't believe it's comparable to misogyny from men towards women who've slept around or to biphobia from straight women against men. First off, while this isn't popular to acknowledge, people talk about biphobia in the lesbian community but no one talks about de-valuation of lesbians and homosexuality from bi women to the women they sleep with. Both seriou…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/03/25 04:06 PM
7	Submissive men and dominant women I would add as a man who is dominant and has had bicurious tendencies, that having experimented with bi guys in the past, a lot of them hide their submissive (or more generally, subversive) sides from women they date. In part because of what their girlfriends would think. So men are pressured not to be submissive. But in addition, even those who've freely accepted it themselves still might keep it private and separate from their dating lives (the bi guys i experimented with generally didn't date…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/03/25 03:24 PM
12	Toxic masculinity keeps getting reproduced via women's dating patterns That's not really what their argument is. Their argument is that the pressure to produce confidence artificially, results in toxicity. This is kind of like saying "what's so toxic about being beautiful?😳" when women talk about how beauty standards lead to toxicity.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/03/25 03:05 PM
0	Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it. I agree, but I think there's a difference between dating and relationships. I didn't do all too well in dating because I cared and was self-conscious. It was difficult. Those same traits help me in my relationship now because she likes that I take care of her. Becoming more detached might help guys who are anxious become better at dating, but I don't think it's the only thing that's needed. Finding other ways to meet and connect with women so that the right one will find you, can also help.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/03/25 03:58 PM