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PursuingGrace Archive

View 2 posts and 63 comments by PursuingGrace on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I run a small baking and catering business from home. I am also lucky enough to have the kind of personality that has people offer me work. I occasionally pick up shifts at the VFW my husband is a member at, when they need a bartender, and I pick up shifts at a winery that a friend of ours owns. It is not a ton of extra money, but our budget is such that it all goes straight to savings, which is incredibly helpful for padding that out.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/16 10:26 PM
1

I handle the money at his request. My husband suffered a TBI shortly before we started dating, and until we were married, paid someone to handle his finances, because his brain simply does not allow him to do it successfully. That said, he stays on top of what is going on, by having me print him a spreadsheet of our bills, earnings, saving, investments, and projected extra expenses every Tuesday night. So he has a big hand in it, but he knows he can trust me to do what he wants me to.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/15 03:03 AM
2

For me, it helps that I have a scheduled weekly 'coffee date' with my girlfriends online. We all live at least three hours away from each other, so it really helps us. Then, I also do a lot of volunteer work, that keeps me from going nutty. Although, I have been told I am not really a SAHM, because I have a business out of my home, that I make sure does not interfere with my husband's job, and only requires my children only have childcare for two hours on Friday evening. So i DO get a pretty dec…
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/15 02:48 AM
5

My husband loves that I am a 'tough' girl. I may be soft and fluffy with him, but he loves that I am not afraid to get dirty, and that I am a good leader when I need to be. He likes that before I consider hiring a repairman, I see if I can fix whatever is broken. Because of this, I do seek out ways that I can use those parts of me to do things for him. I built him a humidor for his birthday. I take on the leadership role for stuff involving our kids' activities (Cub scout Popcorn mom, for exampl…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/15 09:23 PM
1

I would suggest you ask him if you can do things for him that may help him lessen that stress at home. The greatest thing we can do, as women, is to create a feeling of sanctuary in our homes for the man we love. Ask him if you can give him a shower or bath, where you do all the work to clean him. Or ask to give him a massage. My husband is a big fan of how I will mix him a drink, and have it waiting for him in his office when he gets home, so he has some time to decompress when he gets home. No…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/15 09:12 PM
2

I had several professors that were very bad about pushing their own agenda through the guise of the classes they taught. I used those professors as an opportunity to fine tune my talent for bullshittery. I saw it as a challenge to write papers, and feed them the answers they wanted, while not changing my personal ideals. Which, if I am completely honest, may have been the most valuable lesson I learned while in school.
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/15 06:40 PM
2

I am a firm believer that folks that feel the need to tear others down for having a different mindset, are the ones that are so insecure about their own choices. If she was not worried that her own choices were so wrong, she would have no issue with how other people choose to live their lives. I pity people like this, because they want to try and plant a seed of discord in others, instead of taking accountability for what they may feel is missing from their own happiness. So see this as a dodged…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/15 07:43 PM
1

I, personally, would limit the time spent with her. Make lunch dates with your father when she is at work. Don't invite her to activities with you. If she bothers asking you what is happening, simply leave it at, "I do not like the way your words make me feel. Especially when I know how untrue the things you say about me are. I wish we could spend more time together, but If I would not allow a stranger to say it about me, I will not allow someone that is supposed to love me get away with it, eit…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/15 07:25 PM
1

My husband explains it this way: He wanted a woman that was only submissive to him. That was an independent ass kicker in her outside life, but when she was home, trusted him enough to let go of that need to be the leader. Because if a woman is generally meek and submissive with everyone, it is not as special to her partner. If that makes sense.
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/15 07:13 PM
1

I am proud of the fact that we have both made a habit to continue showing appreciation to each other. And I am proud of the fact that we have both made a commitment to continue being a couple in love, instead of just parents who are married.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/15 09:41 PM
2

Soda water with lime, and a splash of cranberry juice. If someone asks what it is, call it a Cape Cod spritzer.
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/15 06:58 PM
1

Abort! Abort!
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/15 05:18 PM
1

I give him spa treatments. Pedicure, manicure, witch hazel scalp massage, stuff like that. I look forward to that time together all week.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/15 08:56 PM
1

Oh my gosh, this is the one question that my husband and I both hate! It does not help that we are total food opposites, in that I live to eat, and love experimenting with new food, while he would be just as happy eating MREs for the rest of his life. The only time he has ever hurt my feelings, was after I spent the day making a very beautiful rattatoulie from ingredients I had grown myself. He ate it, and when I asked him his opinion, he answered, "It is okay. I think you should try it again, b…
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/15 08:41 PM
1

I met mine at a bar in Austin, called The Library, The first Saturday of my freshman year in college. I was the designated sober for my group of friends, and he was the same for his soldiers (he was in the military at the time). That said, we were good friends for several years before we started dating. I admired him from a distance, but did not think I had a chance at all of being his girl. I am still sometimes shocked that someone like me was chosen by someone as beautiful as him.
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/15 08:57 PM
1

It is not easy! At least not for me. He and I have completely different ideas of what makes a home comfortable and inviting. To put it one way, His style is more 'English nobility hunting lodge", while mine is "French countryside cottage". With that, I have decorated 80% of the rooms in our home to his taste. The kitchen and my office are the only two rooms that are pretty much all my taste, and I managed to make the bedroom comfortable for me, but mostly his. lol The biggest tip I can give, is …
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/15 08:12 PM
2

I love, love, love maxi dresses and skirts. They are comfortable and easy to do chores in, but still cute enough that if I am running behind on freshening up before He gets home, I still look feminine and flirty. Just feminine, flirty, and possibly sweaty. lol
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/15 06:45 PM
2

Never forget to kiss him goodbye, and tell him how proud you are of him. The best way to help your spouse have a nice day, is to help him begin his day in mind of how important he is to you.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/15 06:40 PM
10

FWIW, I am absolutely hideous without makeup. My face is scarred and misshapen from injuries sustained and not treated as a child. I never leave the house without makeup, due to many very unkind things that were said to me during a period that I did try to just go out natural. That said, my husband (who was then just my boyfriend), has told me that while he loves that I take such effort to always look traditionally beautiful in public, he also loves that time of the evening when the makeup comes…
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/15 06:38 PM
2

While I am a student of Christ's teachings, and go to church, I do not think of myself as religious. I disagree with quite a bit that religion says, and I find comfort in certain things that are considered 'bad' by religions. The only exposure to religion that I had as a child was very negative. But I can say that my mother really was the one that shaped the beginnings of RP thoughts for me, because she was a great example for how feminism and 'sexual freedom' were harmful, and how good men did …
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/15 03:41 AM
2

The first three years of our marriage, my husband worked overnights. And while they were supposed to be 12 hour shifts, because he was a captain, he often ended up doing 14 or fifteen hour shifts. What really made him happy was how flexible I was in regards to how unstable his clock out time tended to be. I learned to figure out exactly how long it took him to get home, so I could have breakfast ready and waiting when he walked in the door. It was a small gesture on my part, but he really enjoye…
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/15 03:28 AM
6

Another way to respond would have been, "And what kind of goof asks KIDS when there are adults around?" Because that is the first thing that came to my mind reading this. Seriously, what kind of fool just asks a couple of kids that, and then leaves? Obviously, SOMEONE ordered a pizza. And it would have taken him two seconds to call the pizza place to have them call your BF, and double check.
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/15 03:55 AM
1

I do a morning workout at the gym, which is my weight training, swimming, and time in the dry sauna as my reward. Then I do a few smaller things throughout the day. I walk the dog about a mile several times a day. Twice a week my husband and I do a date thing at a crossfit camp. I like the variety.
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/15 10:00 PM
2

My husband sometimes does this when he is dealing with particularly difficult citizens. I have found that if I just stay mostly silent, but continue doing sweet things for him, and showing through my actions that I want to help him relax and unwind, it helps him loosen up. Also being very vocal with the kids about how lucky we are that daddy takes such good care of us never hurts.
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/15 10:16 PM
1

Happiest baby on the block was a magical thing for us. My husband also really enjoyed reading a book about Hypno-birthing, and it was fantastic to have him as my leader in the birthing room. I remember several books that he read that were just for dads that he enthusiastically endorsed to other men, but I do not remember the names of them. They all had the same general message that was that becoming a dad does not mean you stop acting like a man. They really pushed getting ready for the kid, but…
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/15 10:10 PM
1

Remind yourself that you are not that same person, and focus on living your new principles now.
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/15 09:55 PM
2

Actually, the only time I allowed myself to get lazy with my weight, was when I was in a relationship that for some stupid reason, I was too chicken to break off (I think because i was scared to lose his family. I loved his family), but I had very little respect for the guy. I was not comfortable with him, and I punished myself by not taking optimal care of my body. Also, it was easy to avoid him by staying home and snacking. When you are comfortable with someone, you want to continue doing thin…
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/15 09:53 PM
1

For me, a huge help has been to really hone my organization skills. I am now self employed, and for a while I was a stay at home parent (per my husband's wishes), but even when I was a SAHM, my husband requested that I volunteer a minimum of 30 hours a week, and he was very supportive of me keeping all of my career certifications, so even when I did not 'work', I was still very busy. And being well organized was a HUGE help. Every big chore or errand was scheduled in a time slot. Every meal was …
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/15 09:42 PM
3

I think the acts of service may be seen as having to be huge gestures. It is one of my languages, and I see an act of service as simple stuff, like when my husband opens doors for me, or orders for me while we are out, or when he deals with our more difficult tenant so I don't have to endure the hateful shrew. Those are all things that he sees as very small gestures, that I feel big love from.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/15 09:25 PM
1

I am tied for acts of service and verbal affirmation. My husband's is physical touch. I admit that I have a terrible habit of showing him love in my language, or getting perturbed when he shows me love in his language.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/15 09:14 PM
2

I think... And I understand you side because I am similar... that you being strong all the time, is denying him the blessing of getting a chance to be your rock. You know? You are not dumping a burden onto him, if he is asking for you to do it. That doesn't mean you should dump it all on his lap, but I don't think venting to him about a particularly sore area for you (for me it is my mother and her complete lack of self preservation skills. My husband has become a champion at letting me grouse a…
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/15 08:12 PM
1

I am no help. My husband basically gave a power point presentation on why he believed we should get married. Okay, so there was not an actual PPP, but he did have note cards, and was very... police officerish about the entire thing. We still joke that he never actually asked me to marry him. He just decided we would, he told me why, and then told me when it would happen. lol
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/15 03:47 AM
2

Every single time I have heard someone say that, all I can think is, "You have no time to shower, yet you are posting on an internet forum? Go clean yourself you nasty beast!" Seriously. Babies can be put in a swing or bouncy chair by the bathroom door so you can shower. Toddlers can be given a few toys on the bathroom floor, or can be put down for nap, so you can shower. If you make it a priority, it can be done. Parenting is not nearly as hard as the type of woman you are talking about lead yo…
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/15 05:13 AM
2

During my pregnancy with our second child, I also developed two auto-immune disorders. Add to that the hormotional state, and the fact that the child somehow found a way to crack my tailbone (yeah, that was fun), Pregnancy was hell, and I felt like a terrible wife most of the time because I was always in so much pain. While my health did not improve after she was born, my ability to handle it all did, and my husband has his not a crazy person wife back. So it will all fall into place eventually.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/15 05:00 AM
4

I feel like keeping up myself, my home and my relationship with my husband is part of being a good mother. What kind of message would I send to my children if I did not do these things? I would teach my son that he will not be able to find a woman that cares enough for him to care for herself, and I would teach my daughter that it is okay to make excuses to be a slob. And if I don't care for myself, i am sending a message that I am not worthy of their respect, because I do not respect my self. I…
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/15 04:49 AM
2

He can not be in a relationship with you, while still feeling like his heart is with her.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/15 04:38 AM
1

Well, that is a relief. Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/15 02:38 PM
1

I was assuming he also changed the cabinets.
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/15 02:38 PM
4

I am trying to come to terms with this as well. I handle our finances. Not because I wanted to, but because my husband has a severe TBI, and while in rehab after the accident, he was advised that it would not be a good idea for him to handle his own money, because of his memory loss and the way his brain will trick him into being sure he did something, when he is remembering doing that thing yesterday, but really it was months ago. Before we married, he had a money manager that did everything fo…
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/15 06:35 PM
2

Dude, with a kitchen like that, I would happily wait until my husband was asleep to climb on that island and change the light bulb myself. lol
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/15 06:26 PM
4

I am in the middle of reading 'The Surrendered Wife', so I think that is why I reacted as strongly as I did. We just moved into a new house, and the last tenants were just... Disgusting. I worked on cleaning the stove and oven for a week, and it was still just awful. My husband surprised me by purchasing a brand new, beautiful, five burner stove with true convection oven, and having it installed while I was at work over the weekend. He said that I had worked so hard on cleaning the house and pre…
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/15 06:21 PM
2

Exactly! I was embarrassed for the poor guy. If nothing else, at least acknowledge how much work and effort he and their friends put into this gift for her. Paint colors can be changed easily. The feelings that come from being treated that way after a big act of love can not.
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/15 06:06 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/15 05:54 PM
2

For me, it has mainly been learning how people with 'normal' families behave. I feel a great disconnect to the majority of people in my age range, because they all seem to go by a set of rules I was never taught. So the majority of my personal friends are much, much older than me. I have been told that my worry makes me seem cold, and intimidating. Other than that though, nope. Not unless you count the fatigue that comes from constantly having to disengage myself from her attempts to drag me int…
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/15 02:20 AM
9

I believe my mother is a narcissist. I also think she may have arrested development. I remember being about five years old and wondering to myself when the fuck she was going to grow up. I endured horrible, horrible abuse at the hands of her men. She still refuses to talk about it in absolutes, and still tells me that she has a hard time feeling she can trust me, because when her husband finally hurt me in front of witnesses, I did not lie to the police and protective services. She loves to brag…
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/15 02:56 AM
5

Something I do for my husband, is that I make sure that he has a beverage ready when he walks in the door after work, and I keep the kids away and quiet so he has thirty minutes to unwind after work. In the mornings, when I get home from the gym, I get his shower started, and make sure to have his coffee and breakfast ready by the time he gets out. If I am getting up to get myself a drink or snack, or anything really, I always ask him if he would like anything. It is amazing how such little thin…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/15 03:56 PM
2

Five love languages is SUCH an incredible tool! It really helped my husband and I learn to speak each other's languages. Not only so we knew how to show love to each other, but it also helped us identify ways we were showing each other love that we may have missed before.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/15 03:52 PM
1

That really is a terrible excuse for denying physical affection. You want an idea? Stop denying him sex for lame excuses. Even if you don't feel rev'd and ready, go ahead and have sex. Because at some point, you will get into it, and you will feel better afterwards as well. It sounds like he has been pretty open about how you are failing him, and has tried to help you fix it, yet you continue to demonstrate a lack of enthusiasm for being his girl.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/15 03:48 PM
1

Thank you for your reply. As I said, the reason I was asking was that I kept reading that view, and was wondering how true it was in regards to RPW who are married. As my husband and I have been married for nearly eight years now, but I just stumbled upon RP. We always just considered ourselves traditionalists, you know?
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/15 09:05 PM
1

Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/15 09:02 PM
3

Thank you! You are exactly right, and that is why I wanted to ask these things here, because everything I have read seems to be from a male's view, and they think a woman should be happy just being #1, instead of THE one. And as I said, my husband is not a plate spinner at all, and he is a very 'alpha' kind of guy, so I was curious about that view. And I totally understand it myself, but as it pertained to marriage (again, VERY new to this RP concept. We have always just called ourselves traditi…
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/15 09:01 PM
1

Not so much a 'code', but I know what he likes and dislikes, and I dress in a way that pleases him. I would never even consider purchasing Uggs, because he thinks those are the ugliest things on the planet.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/15 04:15 AM
9

I have just learned about RP, but I have a hard time meeting friends, because I am very traditional. Oddly, I have met a few lovely, like minded females at a local winery. The winemaker does dinners where she sits people pub style, so my husband and I have met a few couples that way. Our biggest issue has been they are all about 15 years older than us, so when I have gone out with the ladies, I am always asked if I am someone's daughter. I would love to meet some people closer to our age.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/15 04:11 AM
2

That is understandable.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/15 07:59 PM
3

Thank you so much!
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/15 07:58 PM
1

I don't know if I am much help on this, as I have a similar question as it pertains to exclusivity, in a RP type relationship. For me, personally, I think as long as I am aware of it, I don't see a problem with it. I don't get jealous about it in the sense that it is going to cause a problem for me with him. Even a dinner date. He is a hard worker, and he takes his responsibility to his family very seriously. If he wants to amuse himself with a female for a few hours, the only thing I think is t…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/15 06:36 PM
1

I have a quick question. How long and/or how many comments do I need to make before I can submit a post? I have a few questions that I have tried to find answers to, and can't. But when I submitted a post to ask the ladies and men here, it was removed because I have not lurked long enough.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/15 06:27 PM
2

Thank you so much for clarifying that! I am not a fan of most children, because sadly, most children we come in contact with are terribly behaved. So much that even my own children will say, "I don't want to play with you. You are not a nice person to be friends with." That said, even the most annoying of children, I would not allow to be harmed. Which is, sadly, more than can be said about the awful people that 'parent' them.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/15 10:10 PM
4

I listen to everything, but the stuff that I really LISTEN to, is older stuff. Glen Miller, Ella Fiztgerald, stuff like that.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/15 03:18 AM
5

I think, personally, that it is something that should be left to preference. I don't think there is a right or a wrong. Just like when it comes to waxing the lady garden. I do it one way, because I don't like hair anywhere down there. But plenty of woman are not so thorough in their removal of hair, and that is fine too. The only people who should have a say in it are her and her partner. You know?
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/15 08:56 PM
5

For me, Personally, I feel that the fact that I have the ability to live independently, and well, part of what makes me worthy of a good man to lead me. What is the benefit for a man, what is the gift of having a woman that submits herself to his care and leadership, if it is done because she is not strong enough, smart enough, or able enough, to stand on her own? That sort of submission is not a gift. It is, quite frankly, a self serving practice. My husband and I have known each other for 15 y…
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/15 03:58 PM
3

Hi! I have been lurking for just a few days. I tried to jump right in and make a few comments, but was smacked by the auto-bot. I have only just learned about 'the red pill', however, reading about it, to find out what it was, my husband and I both said, "Oh! This is another term for people like us!" It is very very difficult to find like minded people in our personal life to get friendly with, so I am hoping that I can find a good fit in your community here.
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/15 03:26 PM
1

Have you every tried making them with avacado and a jalapeno jelly? They are a big favorite in our circle.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/15 07:51 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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