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Puzzleheaded-Yam1718 Archive

View 4 posts and 79 comments by Puzzleheaded-Yam1718 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Same except it’s not loving her like i used to. I’m thankful for my son.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 02:26 AM
6

You’re a buysexual?
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 02:25 AM
5

Body cam or video camera necessary
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 03:41 AM
2

Yes however most posturing is symptom of low self worth
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 11:38 PM
4

We’re in Texas. We settled outside of court and we have joint marital custodianship. Unfortunately for me to get true 50% it would’ve taken a lot more debt than I already went in with my divorce lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 01:26 PM
5

Thanks. The emotional control she had over me is what I need to break free from. She knew she could manipulate me and so she lost respect.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 04:53 AM
5

I sure as shit feel washed up. Before marriage I was fit. Confident. Thriving. Ready to take on whatever life threw at me. I didn’t know it would take this turn. We all need a lot more self compassion these days. Less harsh judgement. More care and tenderness.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 04:40 AM
5

He turns 2 in May. We married living together a year, then separated a year before divorce finally was made official. She needed me to change. I needed her to stop threatening divorce. She meant every one of her threats, which kept me on eggshells. She’s an avoidant. I’m an anxious attachment. When she was pregnant she causally would say things like “we need a girl, let’s have another kid”. I said “let’s get through this one first”. She replied, I’m having another one with you or not. Ffs. She t…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 04:37 AM
8

Mine did the same. Our son was her child, her baby. She only ever says he’s mine too when she’s pissed and trying to belittle me for something I “did wrong.”
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 02:47 PM
5

I haven’t felt like dating. I watch movies and play video games. I’m only now (1.5 years separated and 2 months officially divorced) starting to feel like my life is worth living. I’m starting to see a future ahead and take care of my health with vitamins and eventually exercise again. I can’t believe how much emotional control this woman had over me and how much I gave her, and she knew it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 09:57 PM
2

Not a death sentence, but there are definitely lies woven into the fabric of some heavy truths. It feels like a death sentence. No doubt, but it’s not. If anything it’s death to the life you thought you’d live. It’s life 2.0. Time to pivot. Time to reevaluate what makes life meaningful. Time to dig deep and feel the hurt and try not to medicate. I’m sorry you’re going through it man.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 04:54 PM
6

In his book “Greenlights” Matthew McConaughey says his parents married three times and divorced twice.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 01:41 PM
15

Women
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 02:14 AM
2

They will need therapy. I would be shaken at my core beliefs if my dad mentioned something like that to me, however I’d understand that everyone who follows after lust is never satisfied.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 02:57 PM
7

Opposite of asshole move. However, boundaries are really important for you to protect your heart moving forward.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 02:55 AM
1

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Your story is rare, but it happens. Unfortunately money is the only way a lawyer will go to bat for you, unless you get a hot shot who could do pro bono you may end up be f’d by your ex and the system. Make sure whatever happens that she legally cannot leave the country with your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 12:16 AM
2

In Texas I have to pay 20% child support, plus half of my child’s medical insurance, plus backed medical bills from my child’s birth. It’s nearly $1000 for one child. My ex wife makes double what I make. I was not awarded primary custodian, but we have joint custody, and my goal is to have 50% time with my son. The system is not fair. Without tens of thousands of dollars to toss at a lawyer, most family lawyers will not go to bat for you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/25 04:13 PM
1

I did. She wanted us to hook up. But then came over and said “I was just joking about that” ffs
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 09:04 PM
5

I just got divorced. I was demeaned, belittled, household items were thrown at me, hit a couple of times, cussed at, she said some fk’d up shiz to me time and again. lots of guys going through it
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 05:31 PM
5

My ex wife used to get so pissed when I said I didn’t agree with “happy wife, happy life”. Now I’m suffering from not seeing my son as much as I want to. This suffering is more painful than walking on eggshells and taking her abuse, so I see why a lot of guys stay
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 03:06 PM
11

Thanks for sharing. Sounds like shitty time you’re going through. I hope you see the sun rise as a chance to dream new dreams.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 11:26 PM
4

It sounds like she did hurt you though. Chemistry isn’t commitment and it sounds like you were committed, but she wasn’t.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 07:20 AM
1

I’ll eventually have 50/50 but it will be scaled from 1st, 3rd, and 5th Saturday overnight until he’s 3. Then I’ll have something more similar to a 50/50, where I’ll have him Thursday-Sunday.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 12:05 AM
4

I’ll be paying for it for the next 17 years for having a kid with her. Meanwhile she makes more than me, it’s what I have to do to have joint custody. Eventually it’ll be 50/50, but for now it’s uneven since he’s a toddler.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 05:44 PM
14

Yeah, after my divorce is finalized I won’t tolerate disrespect again. The way I see it now, is give someone a little wiggle room for disrespect and it sets a precedent for the whole relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 05:25 PM
2

Omg that is unhinged. My friend and I joke now about ever meeting another woman going to the Philippines or overseas. Large majority of American women have gone off the rails.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 07:58 PM
2

Coming from a Christian who is about to be divorced to his Christian wife, my reason was to create a family. She was abusive. I reacted abusive one time and it landed me in jail. Her (Christian) dad wanted me to immediately move back in with her and warned me not to listen to my family if they were telling me that it would be best for us to separate. I left to live with my parents for four months while my lawyer worked on getting my charge dismissed. Then when I tried moving back in, she claimed…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 06:04 AM
6

Same, but my wife told me she is choosing her happiness over living in misery. Ouch 🤕
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/24 07:35 AM
1

We talked about building a life together. Kids. House. We have a kid, but I didn’t know how south it would go in just the first three months of marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/24 05:16 AM
8

If she’s had manic mental health issues, and she’s said that she’s not good for the kids, believe her. Some mothers kill their kids. She’s going to be the one missing out. That time spent with your kids will be etched in time long after you depart from this planet. I’m only sorry they won’t get to have that with their mom. Nonetheless, being with one stable parent is the better alternative. Keep your head up. It’s okay to feel frustrated. Keep being the best dad you can be.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 07:29 AM
2

I’m the broke father that is doing everything I can to see my son. That time is irreplaceable. A year away and your son’s body/brain/heart memory and just be wondering where my dad is. A longing feeling. That kind of stuff stays with kids for years and affects their well being much more negatively than a dad that is around, but can’t provide the best.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 01:41 AM
3

Austin is expensive AF, it would be a bad move
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 01:38 AM
1

Austin is expensive AF, it would be a bad move
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 01:38 AM
2

Gratitude
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 10:14 PM
2

I’m kinda over it really. Jaded.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 09:51 PM
3

The day after she said “I’m filing divorce paperwork and I want you to sign it”
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 03:46 AM
2

I went through anger management. My second to last deal was a year probation, but we didn’t accept. It was dismissed without prejudice after five months and three court appearances. It wasn’t a lie, but it was reactive abuse. But even reactive abuse is abuse so now I’m learning to separate emotions from my responses towards her. As we step towards mediation on the 30th, she still holds that one incident over my head and says remember you did this. Of course, she leaves out the times that she thr…
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/24 02:22 PM
3

I still struggle with how mine is going down. She wants primary custody, I want 50/50. She was abusive. I reacted poorly one night and she called the cops to get me out of the house. I moved out. Tried reconciling after my charge was dropped. She claimed she was afraid even though she had been the bully this whole time. Now I can’t communicate with her or her parents because the picture is painted where I’m the villain and she’s the helpless souls getting away from the big bad wolf. Total smear …
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 04:56 PM
7

I’m glad my parents are around. I talk to them sometimes. I talked to a pastor friend the other day. He helped me just by saying “it’s going to be painful for the next two to three years.” He’s been through a divorce too.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 06:45 AM
3

The loss of bride/marriage/life is painful. I’ve been dealing with tossing and turning and restless nights. Pastor told me it’s going to hurt for the next 2-3 years and time is my best ally. So I’ll tell you, it’s normal. It’s gonna hurt for the next 2-3 years and time is your best ally.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 02:58 PM
5

Get a badass lawyer. It’s gonna cost you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 10:50 PM
4

And I kept trying to make it work….so that’s pretty much what I need to work on in therapy. Why didn’t I call the cops on her when she threw, broke, yelled, hit? I thought my commitment was worth more than anything else.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 05:24 PM
4

I’ve considered there is some type of cluster B disorder. She’s also had multiple head injuries. I may subpoena her mental health records for custody, but I’m afraid my son won’t have his mother if something disconcerting comes forward.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 02:38 AM
7

Thank you. Last year was the toughest year. I’m a clean cut guy. I am a teacher by trade. I was arrested last year after she called the cops on me. Was looking at up to a year in county jail. Everything got dismissed and I still tried working it out with her. But she filed divorce. Maybe I’ll count that as a mercy from God. From now on I’m red pilled. Not trusting a woman blindly like that. They all want something, money, security…it’s not about love.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 02:25 AM
6

There was some mental illness I didn’t recognize. Now dealing with courts and custody and I’m going broke about to live with a friend while I fight for 50/50 custody.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 01:59 AM
6

Not really until later in wedding planning. I started seeing bridezilla come out. Saw red flags but just kept pushing forward. Week three into marriage she was calling me a pussy and little bitch for wanting to talk about how I didn’t feel close to her and wanted to feel closer.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 01:49 AM
16

I had a dead bedroom because I kept asking my wife for sex but she wasn’t in the mood so she got angry and said she needed me to try harder outside the bedroom and also to make sure I had the dishes all washed and the bed made and that o shouldn’t complain about her being mean to me bc when I bring up issues it takes her out of the mood. Ffs.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 12:39 AM
8

Like when she said living with me is hell and she wants a divorce. Here we are a year later.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 08:01 PM
1

Yeah there’s no justification for hitting someone you claim to love. Reactive abuse is a real response that if I handled it like a healthy person, I would’ve walked away before things ever escalated.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 12:42 PM
2

Yeah I’m glad criminal court is behind me. My lawyer got that dismissed. Thanks for the info. I’m going to practice grey rock and start moving on with my life. I got fat during this whole debacle, so im gonna get back into the gym and do something for my body too. Can’t stay down.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 06:29 PM
1

In the morning she was hitting me in the back of the head. Then pulled me close to asking if I still loved her. I said we needed to work on some things. She started cussing e out and throwing things at me and said for the 50th time that she’s done and wants a divorce and I needed to find my own ride home from a 5 hour trip. I spent most of the weekend caring for our son while she was on the beach drinking with her family. Later in the evening I asked her why she was hitting me. It kept replaying…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 12:44 PM
5

I take myself to get ice cream, I play video games and play guitar. I sing and write music. I watch YouTube. I feel the emptiness, but I also tell myself I’m never alone. I am learning to be more kind to myself. Allow myself to feel what I need. I’m re-reading the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Always do your best.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/24 01:23 AM
2

May be out of convenience. Sounds like and feels like it, don’t ignore your gut.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 03:39 PM
5

I agree. Saying “well at least it’s not as bad as …. fill in the blank …” shows lack of empathy. Each one of us is going through something horrible and we can always say “at least it’s not like we are children of war in Israel/Palestine conflicts.” Yeah that all sucks, but each one of us has painful events that will forever be part of our story. It’s important for us to understand why we are where we are in life and how to get out from under the pain it’s caused by healing and grieving and choos…
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 01:42 PM
7

My wife said I abandoned her. Truth is a left to live with my parents while I got the domestic violence charge she put on me dropped. Then she wanted an apology for me leaving and I wouldn’t give it to her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 02:03 AM
4

Damn. Same. Same. 😔
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 02:01 AM
7

Get a camera in the house. Get a lawyer. Did you get arrested? Of so, what was the charge? What’s state are you in? All these factors play a part. Main thing is to get charge dismissed.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 10:20 PM
5

Hinge
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 06:28 PM
2

For me it felt like walking through hell. I too was arrested, but my charge was later dropped. We have a toddler. It’s excruciating, but you’re not alone. Lots of men going through this. I wrestle daily with my identity and self judgement. It’s too easy to judge ourselves. But reality is that “When we judge ourselves we find ourselves guilty and we need to be punished. When we reject others we reject ourselves. When we judge others, we find them guilty and need to punish them.” -the Four Agreeme…
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 04:09 AM
9

When my wife said she’s serving me divorce paperwork and wants me to sign. I would’ve stayed in and done anything to save the marriage, even though the relationship was shit. I got a lawyer. Wife said “you can save money by going with my lawyer.” She thinks I’m that dumb and maybe I am bc I stayed with someone so mean for so long.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 01:24 PM
2

Thanks for sharing
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 04:47 AM
6

We all are damaged good to be fair. Don’t let that become your identity. We are not our worst failures. When I felt like a piece of shit, I went out and did piece of shit things to verify that sense of shame. It didn’t help me. I just felt worse. I have to agree that I’m not a piece of shit even if I feel like one.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 01:34 PM
6

Get a lawyer. Your wife made the biggest mistake of her life and now your family is suffering the consequences of that choice. It’s going to hurt and suck, but it can also be a moment to bring you and your kids closer, but you’ll need a lawyer. You’ll need to fight for them, especially if she doesn’t see anything wrong with what she’s done and she continues to do it. It means she doesn’t respect you or herself enough to hold to the sanctity of marriage. So best to do what you need now for you an…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 02:17 PM
8

My wife mentioned divorce week 3 into marriage. Then consecutively about 20-30 times during the first year of marriage. I became resentful like a boiling pot about to explode. And I did one day. And I went to jail when she called the police bc she wanted me out of the house. My domestic violence charge got dropped bc there was nothing there to hold any water, but I did spend 3 days in jail and $3500 lawyer fees. We are getting divorced after having a 1 year old kid. I think that’s all she wanted…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 02:00 PM
1

White. Cajun. Came from money, nothing crazy but well off.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 09:16 PM
8

Thank you. Soon to be divorced dad of 1.5 year old son.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 05:11 AM
1

We are. We both filed divorce papers. Hers went through first. She wanted me to have the same lawyer as her. I hired my own…a real bulldog. Thanks for the support.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 09:32 PM
14

Nah man. Sadness on the daily. But I was willing to put up with abuse to keep my family together. When I finally said no more is when she left and filed.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 08:45 PM
3

Thank you. I’ve been speaking with a counselor for about a year through this process, but could do some deeper work if necessary.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 12:14 AM
3

Feel guilty for a while. Feel horrible for a while. It feels like walking through flames. But keep walking. Look at the next sunrise. Then the next one. Then the next. Be around people while you feel like hell. Don’t have to talk, just be. Keep moving forward.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 05:42 AM
2

Nah dude go to Cracker Barrel or some place that serves Thanksgiving food. Can’t let this shit storm be the end of a good life!!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 04:12 AM
2

I haven’t legally been denied overnights. It’s that she and her parents decided this is best for our child. I was advised to call the sheriff and show up requesting him for an overnight, but the police can’t force custodial turnover. It’s part of the same narc. control that I experienced before. If not their way, then it’s the highway. I didn’t have a lawyer for a long time bc I wanted to the marriage to work, but my eyes are open now to the level of control and the distortion of the narrative t…
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 06:44 PM
2

We just have a 1.5 year old. But the first separation I only saw him every once in a while. Later on, I got more time with him. Now fully separated, I haven’t had an overnight with him in 11 months, but I pick him up from daycare. I spend weekends while she’s at work with him. But I drop him back off at her parents. And that is tough. I am grateful for the time I have. I realized yesterday that I’ve compiled to these unwritten agreements that I get the time left over to see my son. I do not agre…
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 03:52 PM
1

I still love my wife and we’re about to get divorced. Mental health plays a huge role in this. She left to her parents and hasn’t come back in 11 months. She was abusive. I reactively was once. That one time, my major screw up, was her line in the sand.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 08:59 PM
2

I’m just on the other side of it and yes it feels like a small taste of hell, however gratitude and forgiveness has been transformational. Panic attacks. Rumination. Feelings of injustice. Sleepless nights. Losing everything I thought would make my life complete. We have both filed for divorce and have a one year old. I haven’t had overnight with him in nearly a year. I’m grateful for the time I do see him though. I tell myself the worst is behind me, but honestly I don’t know if that’s true. I …
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 07:58 PM
5

Hire a nanny. Get therapy for yourself. Get yourself healthy out from under the depression cloud and then make the decisions you need to make. Godspeed and all the best.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 02:00 PM
1

Love is love, but love is a verb and the proof of it is in the pudding. Feelings are feelings, but they are not love. If you love yourself enough to respect yourself, you would not put up with this…and you know you’re worth it somewhere deep down, but hell lies to us and says “bad love is better than no love at all.” Fuck that shit!
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 12:51 AM
1

Idk. I’d sell it or trade rings back so I can get money back. I’m still paying off her ring. Fml.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 12:05 AM
1

Read up on becoming the father you want to be. We aren’t just stuck in life being who we don’t want to be. Get therapy. Get help. Partner up with men who are good fathers. Keep the path of humility. Seek to love God and others as yourself. Self-forgive. Look in the mirror. Try smiling. Tell that person in the mirror you love them.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 07:30 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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