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RReaderCreep21 Archive

View 3 posts and 47 comments by RReaderCreep21 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

As of this second... Not at all.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/21 03:02 PM
1

Thanks! I'm definitely hoping to NOT go to court. From what I understand, in FL there is a formula for child support, so I have a good idea what that would be (not all that concerned with child support to be honest, because, I DO want to take care of my kids). Unfortunately, there is really no formula for alimony... Just criteria based on need and ability to pay. Otherwise, there are different, "types" that can be assigned like, durational, bridge-the-gap, and lifetime (2 more that I can't remem…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/21 12:11 PM
1

Thanks for the reply! This is very helpful! Florida has 3 categories of marriage when determining alimony. Short term: 0-7 years, medium term: 8-17 years, and long term >17 years. Alimony exposure begins at medium term, and from what I understand, is usually half the length of the marriage in duration of the marriage, up to the length of the marriage. If it can be proven that marital funds were used for an extramarital affair, it can affect the judges decision on the length, amount, and type of …
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 04:56 PM
1

Thanks! I've just heard that if they claim infidelity, you can get hit with punitive alimony. That is/was my concern. You are absolutely right about the big head instead of the little head... and the moving out part (hence moving back in). In terms of dating, you're right about that too. In fact, I have no plans to date before anything is final. Even then... I'm going to be adjusting to taking care of my kids and living on my own for a while. I really only signed up to see what the dating pool m…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 12:26 PM
1

I don't think that's true. A friend of mine got divorced with 2 kids and he had a personal lawyer, and she didn't. They went to mediation. Not sure if it counts, but guess there was technically a second lawyer as the mediator if that's what you meant.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 12:09 PM
2

That's probably fair... Though, I'm 36. Have been with my wife since I was 22, and got married at 27. Because of that, I kind of feel like I lost out on a lot of the, "fun experiences" you have in your 20s. This has caused resentment in my marriage and very well may end it. I could be absolutely wrong, but personally, I feel like if I had gotten to, "sew some wild oats" and waited until I was over 30 to settle down, I might be happier. Then again, who knows? Maybe I'm just a restless soul who sh…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 12:07 PM
1

Believe it or not, I actually told her I talked to some women online while I was gone. She was pissed, but believed me that I didn't act on anything. With that said, she's also under the impression that we are working things out since I moved back. With that said, to an extent, that's true... We are in marriage counseling and plan to keep going for at least 4 more sessions (covered 100% by my EAP benefits). However, the truth is, I'm just going through the motions. I also moved back for optics w…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 11:35 AM
1

What do you mean? It shouldn't affect any outcome, or I'm gonna get destroyed in court regardless?
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 11:27 AM
4

All I know is that if you marry in your 20s it is...
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 11:16 AM
1

Thanks for the response. I don't think she could afford a lawyer on her own, which means I would probably be paying for it... So that's awesome. I guess it's either that or just wait 3 years and not do anything stupid until then. Alimony will be longer... So financial budgeting will be a consideration.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 11:12 AM
1

So... In other words, I did screw myself?
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 03:34 AM
1

Well... There are ATM withdraws, but not dates, and no motels. More like strip clubs and bars with my friends. The part where the fees add up to go on a witch hunt does worry me though.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 03:33 AM
1

Realistically, I would probably shoot for 60/40. She's a teacher and has a lot more time off than me. So I feel like that would be a fair concession. As far as the dating sites go, I wasn't sure if those would or could be considered evidence or not. If not, I guess it's fine...
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 03:23 AM
1

Well... I hope you're right. Lol
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 03:00 AM
1

Right... I guess the question is would paying for dating sites be sufficient evidence to support an adultery claim?
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 02:51 AM
2

I actually just started intermittent fasting! It's only been a week, but I sure hope you are right!
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/21 01:42 PM
1

I have to say I agree. It's really a matter of having the gumption to pull the trigger. Like I said, I genuinely fear the financial consequences (I make 120% more than her). The fear of losing so much money (especially if contested), knowing how much alimony and child support I will have to pay, plus getting housing sufficient to house me and my kids, new furniture, etc. will make any sort of effort to continue the work I've been doing (gym, doing things with my kids, etc.) unsustainable is hard…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/21 01:41 PM
2

I am in a similar situation. Though, my kids a very young (2 and 6). We''ve been married for 9 year's, together for 13 (started dating when I was 22). I swear, I literally sat on the couch, watched TV, played video games, and ate nothing but crap for at least the past 6 years. I gained 100 lbs, and I swear it was almost like I was TRYING to kill myself slowly. Part of it was also, that's what she likes to do, sit on the couch and watch TV. My wife's range of enjoyable activity outside of TV is s…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/21 12:17 PM
2

I haven't figured out how to get abs yet... Though, I was starting from a pretty high basepoint (fat); since I've been working out regularly, the only place I have fat left is my stomach. So frustrating...
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/21 11:55 AM
1

Yeah man, that's very similar to my situation... I don't think I would be able to pay alimony, child support, lose half my assets, and actually find a decent place to live. Much less get back into the dating world, which is definitely something I would want to do since I haven't felt desired by a woman for years now. In fact that would be exceptionally hard if I have to live in a trailer park while my wife who gets summers, and holidays off is earning more than me because she's got half my money…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/21 11:26 AM
0

This is good advice...
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 07:48 PM
2

Thanks! I actually consulted with 3 different attorneys and all stated that as long as the nothing changed on paper, the trial separation would be fine. No different that going on, "vacation" or a, "business trip" or something of that nature. And that's the problem... I don't see how feasible or rather, how tolerable worst case scenario life would be. Hence, the apprehension.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 07:29 PM
3

Thanks for the response! My hope is that any amount that would have to pay would be reasonable... But since the word reasonable is subjective, that's my concern.. 50% of my take home pay would not be reasonable to me
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 06:29 PM
3

Thanks man... She won't file, if someone does file, it will have to be me. And if I decide to file, I will definitely be living at the house when that happens. So, no worries there as I am completely aware of the risk of filing while being out of the house. As far as the other advice goes, yeah, there is definitely fear, and the words are inspirational. I suppose it would just be a matter of doing what needs to be done to recover financially, mentally, and spiritually...
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 04:01 PM
2

Anyone know what would be normal in Florida? I'm afraid I'm heading this way (2 kids) but if I lose 50% of my take home pay... I have no idea how I would survive/afford to live anywhere other than a trailer or something... We both have jobs, but I make more than 115% more than she does.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/21 08:18 PM
1

The advice here does seem to have a virtually uniform stance that me leaving is a terrible idea. Which, was the entire point of asking for this advice. So, thanks again! Definitely reconsidering the approach.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/21 04:03 PM
1

I haven't left yet... But based on advice I've gotten from attorneys (2 so far) as long as I maintain my residence there on paper, continue to pay just enough to cover bills, etc. It makes no difference if we separate, "in home" or if I go stay with a friend (which would be the plan). Still may not be a good idea for other reasons, but apparently from the legal side of things, it makes little to no difference.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/21 03:32 PM
1

Thanks for the reply. But the separation was my idea, not her's. I genuinely believed that we were at a point where space to really evaluate if there is still love there was needed... I had no motives other than that I'm the suggestion. Are you saying that by her agreeing with the idea it implies she has some sort of ulterior motive? If so, why not just say we get divorced?
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/21 03:20 PM
2

Damn man, I'm sorry you went through that. Thanks for the advice too..I fully anticipate losing a shit ton of money if it all goes south.... But if I can alleviate as much of that as possible, i.e. custody mostly (I'm going to be screwed financially no matter what), all advice/wisdom is much appreciated.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/21 11:41 AM
2

Thanks for the reply! And believe it or not, what you described is exactly what I want to try to accomplish. I want to know if I feel like I NEED to be here, or if I still capable of being my own man....
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/21 11:33 AM
3

Thanks for the support man! I was hoping I could turn it into a situation where she was NOT the enemy... If that ends up being the case, it doesn't sound like separating is the way to accomplish that anyway. With that, I'm definitely getting a second legal opinion before I decide ANYTHING.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 09:13 PM
2

Thanks for the honest response! Definitely weighing all options.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 09:11 PM
2

I very well may... Based on the responses here, it does seem like a second opinion would be a good idea.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 08:48 PM
2

Thank for the response and advice!
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 08:32 PM
1

I actually just got off the phone with a lawyer. In fact, they advised that a separation is ok, and NO agreement is needed because I live in a no fault state. He also stated that an agreement may actually be to my detriment, as it can be used against me I'm court. His advice was to keep paying the bills as we do now, visit my kids when I want, and don't make anything formal at all unless we are ready to get divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 07:49 PM
3

That seems to be the resounding advice here... Or not to move out at all. I will definitely be speaking with an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 07:09 PM
4

Definitely the clarification I was looking for. Thank you again!
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 07:02 PM
1

If it did come to fruition, I would still be on the mortgage/note, still receive mail here, etc. Correct me if I'm wrong, but if I wanted to come see my kids, I could do that as long as they are in a house that is my legal residence? I don't think my wife would keep me from seeing the kids... But I suppose that's something that she COULD do if things really went south. Don't get me wrong, it sounds like everyone agrees that trial separation is dumb... But I think it very well may be more amicabl…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 06:47 PM
1

Based on what I have found, in my state it does, if both parties agree to live separately, as long as financial support, etc. Continues (it will) I have the kids on my insurance, I'll keep it that way. I will also continue to help pay the mortgage, which is half mine. So yes, the temporary agreement would serve as the written acknowledgement of what you have already mentioned. Thanks for the response by the way! Great advice so far!
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 06:40 PM
1

I agree... But I was also kind of thinking it worked vise versa as well. How would I feel living away for a while. This wasn't her idea by the way... It was mine, so if that's how this came across, that's not the case. It was MY idea to separate.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 06:34 PM
1

That seems to be the most intelligent option...
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 06:26 PM
2

No, not at all. As far as I know, no one wants to sleep around... That would be the end if we wanted to do that, and separating would not be a option. As far as marriage counseling, we are already there. We would continue to go during the separation... Though, I think the responses here have frightened me enough to reconsider, i.e. not do it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 06:15 PM
3

Thank you! Good advice... I was hoping that might help heal the marriage, but based on these responses, it certainly doesn't sound like this is a good idea at all.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 06:12 PM
2

Well, I suppose to a degree, that's the idea. Would we be happier if we lived separately. If the answer for either of us is, "yes," then we would know what to do. I'm terms of connection, the place I would be staying is 5 minutes away, so I'm terms of the, "agreement" I was thinking some kind of weekly dinner (maybe not at first).or even a date night or something... Not sure if that sounds silly, but, I guess we would be shooting for kind of a, "best of both worlds" kind of scenario. Not sure ho…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 06:10 PM
1

Hi, thanks for the reply! We are actually in marriage counseling right now.... And planned to keep going. In terms of, "rules" that is what I was asking about, so thanks for the suggestions. Yes, sleeping with other people would be a deal breaker, at least on my end. I suppose the gain would be to realistically assess what it would be like if we were divorced, i.e. if that's something we would want to do, i.e. would we miss each other, or be completely relieved by the absence. I suppose the idea…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 06:06 PM
5

Thanks for the reply! However, could you clarify what you mean by manipulation? Would requesting an agreement be manipulation (on my part) or just separating in general?
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 06:00 PM
3

Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 04:39 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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