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View 0 posts and 769 comments by ReflexSave on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

But where's a set of stairs when you need one, amirite? Say, you remind me of a young me. Not much younger, mind you. Perhaps even slightly older... If it's any consolation, wrt Mother Void, I got a date the other day. Granted, it turned sour when she wanted to challenge me on epistemology for some reason... But I suppose my point is: keep your head up, and you too may find yourself in the brief company of cute radical skeptics who breathe astrology.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 02:04 AM
2

Perhaps Schopenhauer was just ahead of his time.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 11:44 AM
1

You're welcome to re-read my responses to see that I did give a straight answer to your prior question. You're now posing a different question. "How can a person respectfully approach someone they are attracted to?" I would suspect they could respectfully approach using their feet. This seems like the most natural way. Though I suppose it could be done on a bike, or perhaps a pair of roller skates. Those all seem like valid means of approaching someone. Is there some other implicit premise by wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 11:30 PM
1

Okay great, thanks for finally answering. I was referring to whatever definition you meant when you said earlier that men approaching is traumatic even when it's done respectfully. I took that to mean the typical definition of "respectful", when you said that. Because that would otherwise be an empty proposition. But based on your clarification here, you are saying that there is no such thing as a respectful approach from a man. Simply by virtue of being a man, it is de facto disrespectful and t…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 11:13 PM
1

So in order to answer your question, I need you to explicate the sense in which you're using ""respectfully"". When I said this, what I was doing was seeking clarification as to what your question is. So, again, you need to answer that question so that I may. Otherwise I do not know what the question is.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 10:58 PM
1

I don't believe I'm avoiding any simple questions. What does ""respectfully"" mean? Are you asking "What in general are men's intentions when they respectfully cold approach", or "What in general are men's intentions when they [not respectfully] cold approach"? Your usage of quotation marks suggests you might not be meaning it in the literal sense. It would appear like we have two possible meanings of it: Well-intentioned and still traumatic by virtue of them being a man. Purely sex-seeking and …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 10:18 PM
1

Which man? Or are you suggesting they are a monolith and not individual humans? As per the context of the conversation, established by OP, and coherent with the original framing of your own comments, its premised upon the pursuit of a relationship. Of course perhaps in reality, as you're implicitly suggesting, they are not actually individual humans, and are merely some collective predator in the guise of a human. In which case we really desperately need to invent these Women's Safety Hamster Ba…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 07:02 PM
1

Me? I'm not. The context of the conversation is the way and places people meet and approach. You were talking about men "respectfully approaching", saying that even that is traumatizing. Now, in this conversation with me, you introduced a second, separate hypothetical of "men hitting up random women for sex". You and I both agree that this would not be respectful, correct? If that's not respectful, then the second situation is distinct from the first, like you said. Therefore we have two situati…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 05:05 PM
1

Hmm? I said right. Then I refocused on what we're actually talking about, which is men respectfully approaching. Like you said. I'm just tracking what you yourself said, and the actual context of the conversation. Like you said, even men respectfully approaching is traumatizing. Therefore we need people sized hamster balls. Or just outlaw being a man in public.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 04:36 PM
0

Right but it doesn't even have to be about sex. Simply approaching people, respectfully, is traumatizing. Like you said. At least if the perpetrator is a white cishet male, like you said. So we need to be prepared for even this kind of respectful trauma. And the hamster ball is the only way I can see to prevent that. I don't know why you're not more on board with this. It's not like you actually want to live in a world where those... "people" are allowed to just be out in public, respectfully tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 03:06 AM
1

Well like you said, it doesn't matter even if a man is respectful. So we need a way to remove all interaction. Perhaps in a more perfect world, we could simply outlaw being a white cishet male, that way women wouldn't have to keep seeing people who resemble their abuser. But barring that, I think the hamster ball idea is really the best we can do.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 07:48 PM
1

Man, we should really invent a protective device to keep all these women safe from being traumatized. Like a solid bubble, or a person sized hamster ball. That way they can finally go about their lives as normal, and all these abusers would have to treat them like people, instead of trying to talk to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 03:12 PM
22

Click the link. This is what they're responding to.
/r/MensRights30/10/25 12:30 AM
1

Look, I was going to ignore this because I really don't care what you think. You've revealed yourself to be a poor judge of character. But I do care about the cause, so I'm leaving this for the sake of anyone else reading along. The bias found in LLMs is a symptom, not a cause. Write to the companies, voice your displeasure. I support that. If it's successful, it could mitigate one of the symptoms. But the cause runs deeper. The ideological entrenchment in academia and politics, primarily. The t…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/10/25 09:26 PM
1

I thought it was clear I was ending the conversation. But I'd like you to take a step back and think about what exactly it is you're accusing me of. You're saying that I'm an undercover feminist sneaking into left wing male advocacy groups to undermine their efforts... By diagnosing why LLMs are biased against men and lamenting that the space of academic literature and online discourse has been largely captured by anti-male ideologies... While still supporting the effort against such bias and sa…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/10/25 07:00 PM
1

How magnanimous. You are welcome to your imagination. I've clarified my position, and feel zero need to prove anything to you, a stranger on the internet attacking my character all because I said this is an uphill battle. I don't know what's happened to you to make you so cynical, but I wish you luck on your journey of growth. Have a nice day.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/10/25 05:13 PM
1

"Likely fruitless" is a comment towards what I perceive to be the challenges such an effort faces. Not a comment on the idea itself. This should be evident. By "tilting at windmills", I'm referring to you treating me like an enemy. Dismissing my comments as "trolling" only furthers my point. You would do well to extend a little more charity in your interpretations before acting like this towards people who support the same cause. Especially when they explicitly clarify their intentions and meani…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/10/25 03:29 AM
-1

It simply is not. I should know, as I am quite more familiar with the author of that comment than you are. You're framing my comment as dismissal, when it was rather a look at the factors behind why these models demonstrate this bias in the first place. I cannot help if some person lacks the ability to comprehend nuance and must reduce thought to a binary, but I do not talk out both sides of my mouth. I did not put the effort down in the slightest. To put it down would be to criticize the effort…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/10/25 06:57 PM
3

(I assume you meant "the others aren't more biased towards misandry", correct me if that's a wrong assumption) You may be right. Though it may be a difference without distinction. Perhaps I would have been more correct to say that Grok is less predisposed to the "women are wonderful" effect than other models. (To be fair I don't really use Grok, this is based more on what I've read and infer) I agree with the thrust of what you're saying. It's less about any model being explicitly anti-male, and…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/10/25 01:55 PM
8

Every model is biased, that much is an inescapable epistemic fact. They may vary in where their biases lie or the framing they use to treat such subjects. Whether Grok is more factually accurate I do not know. I do believe it's less biased towards misandry specifically. Did you leave another comment to me and delete it? I got a notification but it's gone now.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/25 07:01 PM
3

I feel like my point is being lost lol
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/25 03:01 AM
7

Agreed. It's not clear to me if you believe that is in opposition to my message though. It feels like that's the case.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/10/25 08:36 PM
42

An admirable aim, but likely a fruitless one, I'm afraid. The bias these models demonstrate is largely reflective of online discourse, as the source of a model's training data. This bias just naturally emerges from the water we swim in, sociologically and academically. You can artificially tweak elements of a model's disposition post hoc, but it's clunky. See Grok and "Mecha Hitler". LLMs tend to overfit instructions explicitly. Further... Most of these models are run by people who fundamentally…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/10/25 08:21 PM
1

My bad homie. It seemed like you were making a comment on your girl spending that money. I misinterpreted the context you were speaking in.
/r/MensRights13/07/25 06:28 AM
-4

Might wanna recheck your math, brother. It's closer to 1,500.
/r/MensRights12/07/25 08:12 PM
28

I was very confused when I saw this. Then I realized what's happening. You're interpreting "allow" to mean "permit" rather than "abide" or "accept". Valid, but not how I naturally read that sentence, and I suspect the people saying it also don't mean it in the way you're hearing it. I doubt they think anyone literally needs permission.
/r/MensRights26/06/25 12:33 AM
42

Most tend to love true crime drama. I bet a non-zero number thought it would be like that.
/r/MensRights25/06/25 11:58 PM
11

"How men’s loneliness affects women" That's straight out of The Onion. What a time to be alive.
/r/MensRights18/06/25 01:41 AM
1

Maybe we're talking past each other here lol. I'm saying it's a subjective concept. It looks like you were saying it has subjective outcomes, but it itself is not subjective. I'm not sure what the point about objective undergirding accomplishes if you aren't arguing towards objectivity of the concept. Just trying to help you strengthen your argument, btw.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 04:47 PM
2

Your broader point can stand without "value" being objective. In fact, it would have to in order to be sound, because value literally is subjective, in every sense. You only weaken your argument by making it contingent on objectivity. To your specific point: something being undergirded by objective qualities doesn't make that thing itself objective, when it inherits normative premises. "Value" in dating in entirely subjective, no matter if it references objective qualities.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 04:28 PM
3

You can hate their mindset without being ambivalent to their death. I get you're venting and probably not being literal, but we do run the risk of being no better than them when we say stuff like that.
/r/MensRights24/05/25 03:49 PM
3

You can say "ass", you know. We won't tell your mom on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 10:39 AM
1

I don’t need to imagine it, that’s what MRA are already doing. As I said before, I saw slurs, anti-abortion stands and women dehumanization here. ... You think that is equivalent? Alright, we're just miles apart in how we see the world, and I don't think that can be reasonably bridged. You don't even have a rough concept of men's experiences to relate to. So I think we should call it here. Thanks for the conversation, have a good night.
/r/MensRights14/05/25 04:02 AM
1

If you're presenting that as my opinion, and assuming you're not trying to strawman, then you have just not understood what I've been saying. If I really wanted to get into it we could talk about the fundamental premises behind each, compare and contrast. They're similar in some ways, quite different in others. I could make the case that one is a flawed response to an actively harmful ideology. One posits an unfalsifiable structural oppression and commits obvious fallacies, the other fairly poin…
/r/MensRights14/05/25 02:29 AM
2

That's... Really bad logic. If your argument holds (they aren’t egalitarian as well. Therefore, their opinion is fundamentally biaised and thus impossible to use), then you admit feminism is at least equally invalid, and therefore cannot be used. I mean, I agree with you. I'd love to live in that kind of world where neither MRA nor feminism exist. But you just sawed off the branch you're sitting on.
/r/MensRights14/05/25 01:34 AM
1

I think we're talking past each other here. I disagree that feminism is merely defending women. That's my point. I don't agree with your framing of it. If I did believe it was as you say, I would be more inclined to say that it can coexist with egalitarianism. I totally, completely, absolutely agree that this gender war crap should be put behind us so we can move on as a society. I'm saying I don't believe that can happen so long as feminism is such a prominent ideology. Like I and others here k…
/r/MensRights14/05/25 12:55 AM
2

I think you have fundamentally different perceptions behind your worldview than they do. To you, that seems like a reasonable and fair proposition. To them, it's like telling Ukraine that it shouldn't be so anti-Russia and just hand over its territory. There's a reason I don't speak harshly about feminists, per se. Because they're people and can have a variety of beliefs. Some of them are horrible sexist jerks. Some of them are kind people who haven't thought about their associations very critic…
/r/MensRights14/05/25 12:15 AM
2

Does a thing not being egalitarian make it fundamentally bad? No, not necessarily. Does an ideological movement - with massive support, funding, and influence over our education and social structure which sees equality as a zero sum game - not being egalitarian make it bad? Yeah. Absolutely.
/r/MensRights13/05/25 10:48 PM
3

You don't appear to have understood my message. I'm not sure how to make it more clearly. For the reasons I said above, feminism cannot possibly be egalitarian. I also wouldn't claim MRA to be egalitarian. Closer to it in practice than feminism, but it still isn't, for many of the same reasons feminism isn't.
/r/MensRights13/05/25 06:34 PM
2

That's a more recent addition meant to obfuscate the asymmetry inherent in the framework. It's build upon the notion that men have structured society to the detriment of women (and sometimes even other men!), and that equality can be found in tearing down "the patriarchy" and increasing benefitial outcomes for women. The underlying premise of the ideology is that men are oppressors in society, and this premise is foundational to the ideology. It cannot be removed from it, no matter how much lip …
/r/MensRights13/05/25 05:54 PM
2

Who would you say is better, in a moral sense. Someone who structures society to oppress and subjugate another group of people, or an innocent person struggling to overcome the repeated injuries and tyranny over them? ... ? That ideology is explicitly a moral condemnation of a whole group of people. This alone is something you need to understand.
/r/MensRights13/05/25 04:50 PM
5

I don't really think it is a bad comparison. They're both based on the premise of moral superiority, in slightly different ways. We can explore that more deeply if you'd like, but I don't think that's the main focus of your message. I don't hate feminists. I hate chauvinistic exclusionary ideologies based on identity groups. Feminism isn't something you're born into, it's something you choose to identify as and support. I can oppose that without hating the people who align themselves with it. I …
/r/MensRights13/05/25 03:42 AM
44

It's an oxymoron. You cannot have an ideology structured around the benefit of one identity group and call it egalitarian. Adding adjectives does not make it so. I wouldn't even call MRA egalitarian. Closer to it than feminism, sure. But it can't ever be truly egalitarian by its nature, and feminism can certainly not be. "Egalitarian KKK" or "Egalitarian White Power" aren't coherent ideas. Look, I get and can appreciate what you're trying to do. But the idea you're advocating isn't "feminism but…
/r/MensRights13/05/25 03:00 AM
8

I can't tell if this is satire or not, but I think that's part of the charm of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 11:33 PM
2

Great question, and I appreciate you asking it. The paper does mention inmate victimization, and argues that this is a population often ignored in statistics. However, that isn't the source of the data in question. From their paper: For example, in 2011 the CDC reported results from the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS), one of the most comprehensive surveys of sexual victimization conducted in the United States to date. The survey found that men and women had a simila…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 02:40 AM
5

If you click on the links within the article, you will find the sources therein. I posted it for the broader context, trusting you knew you could do this. I'll help you out and give the direct link though. https://ajph.aphapublications.org/doi/full/10.2105/AJPH.2014.301946?journalCode=ajph And the other link still stands of course
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 07:52 PM
3

I'm curious where this person is getting that quote from, because those exceptions aren't. Men are victims of sexual assault at very nearly the same rate, and victims of non-reciprocal domestic violence 70% of the time (in heterosexual relationships) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violence_against_men https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1854883/
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 03:21 AM
1

Mate, you need to understand​ that pointing out that your idea is stupid is not defending cheating. Those are entirely different things and if you can't understand​, you'll go through life always frustrated and confused and always thinking you're right. People can hate cheating and stupid ideas at the same time.
/r/MensRights24/04/25 03:17 PM
2

Yeah I figured he must be very young to be this clueless. Hope he gets his stuff sorted out.
/r/MensRights24/04/25 03:09 PM
15

Wishing you love and better understanding on your journey of growth 🙏
/r/MensRights24/04/25 12:53 PM
9

Oh. You just have no principles. Got it. I won't laugh when someone cheats on you. Best of luck out there, kid.
/r/MensRights24/04/25 12:48 PM
17

"Dating" isn't a legally defined status. By the law, either you're married or single. So what you're proposing would require the creation of a legal status of relationship and commitment... Which is just marriage. The fact that I know I've been cheated on doesn't matter. Every couple has their own boundaries. Some people think porn is cheating. Some think flirting. Some kissing. Some sex. Etc etc. Then you have emotional infidelity, which is both real and extremely murky. Do you want to spend yo…
/r/MensRights24/04/25 12:38 PM
39

It would be a terrible idea. Not because I want to defend cheaters. I've been cheated on and it's awful. But something like this is not the way. It would be so immensely abusable, and would be abused by the worst people. This wouldn't protect the innocent, but merely give the wolves more tools. It also just fails in principle. What is the definition of cheating? Your definition is different from other people's. What's the burden of proof? Who will investigate these "crimes"? Who will prosecute t…
/r/MensRights24/04/25 12:12 PM
36

Your phone really really doesn't want you to type the word "domestic" lol
/r/MensRights28/03/25 04:29 PM
1

"I'm too lazy to watch this, gimme summary" "Okay but I'm too lazy to summarize, so I'll have AI do it." "Walkmine Virus?" "I was too lazy to edit."
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/03/25 02:46 AM
2

No, it would be a bad idea for multiple reasons. For one, who would be on this committee? Why ought some person or people be entitled to speak for half of the population? How would they be chosen, and by whom? Secondly, centralization of an ideological movement always leads to corruption. Thirdly, what power would this committee have? How would they enforce their decree, and why ought anyone care? Lastly, it would cement men's rights as un-egalitarian. It arguably flirts with it already, but str…
/r/MensRights26/03/25 08:56 PM
1

Stop lying, it's disgusting. You don't know shit about me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:57 PM
1

... And? The fact that some people are evil has nothing to do with whether someone else, totally unrelated, is.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 08:17 PM
1

That's called prejudice. You have no leg to stand on here. You're just pooping in your hand and throwing it around, and you should know better than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 08:07 PM
1

... Okay? ... And? Some women strangle their babies. Some cats pee on the carpet. Some potato chips are pickle flavored. None of these things are relevant to the topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 08:05 PM
-1

How dare you spread lies. That's dangerous to other women. You know nothing but that these people were victims, and yet can't help yourself from still accusing them of something so horrible. Just disgusting. Besides being wildly immoral, it only incentivizes evil men to actually do that, if you're going to accuse innocent people anyways.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 07:56 PM
2

telling someone they're a rapist even when they can't accept it despite being true Despite being true? This is my point. You automatically assume it's true based on absolutely nothing at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 12:28 PM
1

"I can't think of a cogent or rational rebuttal to this person's points, so I'll just ignore it all, ad hominem, and pat myself on the back so I don't have to take accountability." Alright sweetie, you won, good job. Have a nice day now.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 02:42 AM
2

I think I'm confused by the framing. Someone else's fight? Lay down at your feet? It feels like you're viewing this whole interaction in a very strange confrontational way. While I can't read the other guy's mind, I doubt he views it the same way. From what I can see, you made a claim that more rapists walk free than false claims are made. He said that you can't know that, and gave a personal example in order to illustrate how these false claims often don't go to court in the first place. Then y…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 02:29 AM
3

Check the username, you're confusing me for the other person. I will challenge potential contributing factors considering I don’t know a single man falsely accused so it’s starkly different to my own You're using your personal experience as data in relation to prevalence literally in the same sentence that you're accusing him of doing it. If it's not valid argumentation for him, it's certainly not for you either. And either way, even if it were, that still doesn't justify blaming victims. There …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 12:36 AM
0

"This person is talking about how he knows people who were victims of a crime. I'm going to condescendingly imply it was their fault and they should take steps to prevent that in the future". It's not a reach, that's what you did.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 12:11 AM
0

"Maybe you girls need to sit around and have a discussion about what kind of clothes you're wearing and think about what kind of men you talk to." This is the equivalent of what you're doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 12:04 AM
3

You’re mixing emotions, legal commitments, and personal security into one high-risk pot. If that relationship collapses, you lose your home, your stability, and often your sense of identity Agreed, relationship dynamics with such power disparity are a risky proposition. Most people can't afford to miss more than one or two paychecks, and have a huge sense of their identity tied up in their work. Few people don't need their job to survive.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 10:36 AM
2

This is precisely the correct approach to have discussions in mutual good faith. And is a tool only to be used against you in the hands of those who flout good faith.
/r/MensRights18/03/25 09:55 PM
2

Yes, many. Most don't hold this position, even accounting for hyperbole.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 09:44 PM
0

I think that's an excellent lesson to take from it. I've been through this experience losing a family member, a dear friend, and girlfriend. It's never easy, but it sounds like you've done the introspection and found positive meaning from it, so I'm happy for you for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 06:58 PM
1

Now she's dead. I will forever wonder if I had been Hey listen. It's not your fault and there's nothing you could have done. I promise you this. Don't for a second entertain "what ifs" like this. They say hindsight is 20/20, but the one thing it's blind to is what impact we actually could have had, if we knew then what we know now. I'm sorry for your loss 🙏
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 06:41 PM
2

Elon is the most powerful and richest man on earth, and 95% of male americans worship him as a sort of messiah Do you truly believe this?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 06:34 PM
2

Are you under the assumption that you will be drafted by some other country, somehow?
/r/MensRights09/03/25 02:26 PM
3

You're good people and I like your mindset. Truly I think it's the right way to be and I hope you don't change. But I do think it's a little misplaced in this context. Putting something on your dating profile is about as clear an indication you can give that this is the image of you that you want the world to see. It's clear that she took pride in this, and this is reflective of who she is. At least at this point in her life.
/r/MensRights06/03/25 06:26 PM
10

I would argue feminism is inherently pseudo conservative. Or "progressive conservatism", perhaps.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/03/25 04:41 PM
1

I don't think it's really my fault nor that of the study's authors how it gets used or misused and you can't hold me or them accountable for that. If you take objection to the way other people have presented, I'm sorry. But I don't believe I have misrepresented it, and I certainly haven't used it to diminish abuse. I also take great exception to your last paragraph and find the sentiments therein to be the major part of the problem, in the larger discussion. A valid study shouldn’t be considered…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 11:10 PM
6

Well it's very difficult to read, but I get the gist of it. And I can tell you're posting it here because you feel alone and unheard. And I'm sorry. 🫂
/r/MensRights28/02/25 02:30 AM
4

Okay fair enough, thanks for your thoughts!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 01:59 AM
1

Yeah, I was way too hostile before, my bad. All good, happens to the best of us. It can be easy to adopt hostility as a reflex around here, and I'm sure I fall victim to doing that as well sometimes. Saying “70% of abusers are women” is just wrong. Agreed. Which is why I didn't, just in case that's still not clear. As for the rest of what you're saying - and I say this respectfully - if I wanted to debate ChatGPT, I would just do that instead. I can also have it output defense of the study and h…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 01:53 AM
9

How would you say this is distinct from simple homophobia?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 01:11 AM
5

Just curious here. Do you believe her, and if so, how do you reconcile that with being blue pill? Has it softened your blueness?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 12:43 AM
1

Okay, actually I appreciate you bringing to my attention details you feel are important to the discussion. My integrity is important to me, so I always value corrections. I do think your hostile tone is unwarranted, and I don't agree with the way you're presenting and framing either the data or my intentions. On your point about domestic violence vs intimate partner violence, maybe that's a fair point. I'm not sure. To my knowledge they are often interchangeable terms, though intimate partner is…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 10:44 PM
1

Did you read below that? Almost 24% of all relationships had some violence, and half (49.7%) of those were reciprocally violent. In nonreciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more than 70% of the cases. Reciprocal violence is fighting. That necessarily means it's both man and woman being violent. Which means statistically those cancel out. In more than 70% of one sided domestic violence, women are the perpetrators. If you want to be a pedant about reciprocal vs nonreci…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 09:04 PM
30

I think you hit the nail on the head here. It feels like it's all up to you and you have to guess, and the consequences of guessing wrong are instant failure. Preciate you making this post, by the way. This place needs more voices like yours that can intelligently speak from experience across the aisle with empathy and insight, without resorting to demonizing either side.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 05:41 PM
1

Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 10:49 PM
1

Alright brother I can see you're not trying to debate in good faith, so have a good one
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 10:46 PM
1

Okay, I'll try to break it down. For one, you're shifting goalposts. We're talking about domestic violence and you're on something about rape. For two, you're using a high profile example full of so many confusing variables. Winning an election is not proof of people not caring, but simply of proof that 51% of voters (for whatever reason) wanted him to be president more than the alternative. Many of them don't know or don't believe the allegations, and the rest have their own reasons as to why t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 10:06 PM
1

You know that's really poor logic dude. You can't use some rich narcissist winning an election as statistical evidence that people don't care more about female victims. Especially when we have actual research showing that they do. There's just so much wrong with that line of reasoning that I don't believe you even believe it. C'mon now, you're smarter than that, I know you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 09:40 PM
1

People that don't take it as seriously when it's a woman also don't really take it seriously when it's a man. That's unfounded and a red herring. Studies show that people do take it more seriously when the victim is a woman than they do when it's a man. That applies both at the individual level and societal. Rape is a type of sexual abuse. Yes I don't get why you're specifying that when we're talking about domestic violence primarily and abuse as a whole broadly.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 09:14 PM
2

Why are you talking about rape now? The context of the conversation is the way society views abuse by men compared to women. OP is claiming that abuse isn't handled, thought about, or talked about as seriously when it's done by a woman. You told him to get over himself and that that's not reality. My links show that it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 09:09 PM
2

Lol maybe. Point is, what OP is saying is grounded in demonstrable fact.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 08:55 PM
2

I- What? I think maybe you've gotten confused on the comment chain.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 08:50 PM
5

My point is that you're condescending someone while being factually incorrect. OP is describing a function of reality that you keep wrongly insisting is false.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 08:40 PM
9

You hate how "some" people experience the most basic biological drive for the continuation of the species, ingrained in life for millions of years, and the fundamental expression of intimate connection?
/r/MensRights25/02/25 08:37 PM
2

I'm sure the vast majority of both men and women would agree "abuse is abuse", in the abstract. I think what OP is pointing to is that society doesn't typically apply the abstract to the concrete when the victim is a man, and are far less likely to call the same action "abuse" when done by a woman. I'm sure there are many people for whom it just doesn't occur that it's abuse when done to a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 08:20 PM
0

I don't think this person is saying anything incompatible with what you're saying. It seems more like they're agreeing with you, fundamentally, and you guys are split on minor semantic differences.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 08:14 PM
3

You know you're making his point, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 08:09 PM
8

Women commit 70% of domestic intimate partner violence https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1854883/ 64% of male abuse victims are treated as the abuser https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/cj-jp/victim/rd14-rr14/p4.html People demonstrably take female on male abuse less seriously and assume a hypothetical abuser is male by default https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0749597820303630 Get over yourself. This is reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 08:05 PM
1

Aw, you're like one of those pull-string talking dolls! Do it again!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 05:12 AM
-2

You can just say that you don't understand the concept of power fantasy. No one here will judge you for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 05:11 AM
-3

I'm jealous dude. I wish I could live in some anime world where things were true just because I chose to believe them. Lucky.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 05:05 AM
-2

You can just say that you don't understand the concept of power fantasy. No one here will judge you for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 04:26 AM
–

You're actually an alien, aren't you? I don't think I've ever seen someone struggle to grasp reality so consistently as you lol. You are the most entertaining person in this sub, genuinely.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 04:16 AM
1

You're asking a fish to climb a tree. I'm sorry man. Give yourself the grace that the privileged would deny you.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 04:12 AM
–

An ancient magick, for sure, but a powerful one.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 10:33 PM
5

Exactly. When someone says that, it's practically an explicit admission that they don't consider your feelings as valid and actively refuse to listen to what you have to say anyways.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:47 PM
5

Honestly I wouldn't even bother. Anyone who frames the issue like that at this point isn't arguing in good faith. I've tried before.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:39 PM
8

False dichotomy. Some people reject foundational premises from both, others reject the framework upon which the dichotomy rests.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:36 PM
1

I didn't say Marxism is egalitarian, I said "actual left ideals such as egalitarianism", disputing your claim that SJW is fundamentally left wing. SJW does rely on the oppressor/oppressed framework, yes. But that does not de facto make something left wing. Don't forget that the KKK made the same arguments, that the "white man" is under threat and that they need to dismantle the cultural framework in place in the post-war south. To be clear, I'm not trying to say these two positions are alike in …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/02/25 02:47 AM
1

How do you figure? It's become associated with the left recently, absolutely. But it's in direct opposition to actual left ideals such as egalitarianism, and it's very non-Marxist. Maybe you're confused by the oppressor/oppressed element? That's not exclusive to Marx, and he didn't give two craps about identity politics. Leftism is concerned about class divide, not identity. SJW is a right wing position that some progressives have stolen and Frankensteined into a crude mockery of left wing ideal…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/02/25 02:22 AM
–

All good, friend. It was more aimed at the general sentiment I see expressed so often than at you specifically. And definitely agree on what you're saying here. The root of a person's issues makes all the difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 07:08 PM
8

Yeah, I think blanket statements like this are just not correct. For some people, absolutely. But there's a lot of implicit victim blaming I find on this topic. Obviously nobody should let their mental health issues negatively influence how they treat someone. But I think a lot of people, in their haste to make that point, change it into "If you're depressed, you need to work on yourself before dating because you'll just drag them down and they won't make you happy in the first place." Some peop…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 06:05 PM
1

Did you reply to me and then immediately delete it? Or was it so hostile it got mod-deleted?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/02/25 05:45 AM
6

How can you even argue she's not left wing? She's totally left wing. Obviously so economically, but even socially as well. It seems like you're trying to equate leftism with the kind of right wing identity politics which progressives have co-opted in recent years. Left is not SJW and SJW is not left.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/02/25 03:18 AM
2

Yeah I get it. The framework you're proposing is one in which the genders are locked into an adversarial dynamic and strategize how to best maximize their position. I understand that. I'm just saying that this strategy is literally taking money lol. They can frame or justify it however they want, it doesn't change what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 01:33 AM
-1

Except it's literally taking money. Perhaps you could phrase it as finding the best ATM for yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 01:04 AM
1

The issue is you're making the assumption that men are inherently predisposed to violent crime, and that's not a fair or accurate assessment. The figures that suggest this suffer from the same kind of biases and underlying variables as the "black people do more crime" figures. In addition to being more likely to be poor, black people are generally more likely to be viewed suspiciously, more likely to have the police called, more likely to be arrested, and now likely to be charged, compared to wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 05:46 PM
1

Don't know if this is the issue, but this sub requires you to replace the www with "np". That might help.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 05:26 PM
1

Ah my mistake. Someone else didn't like me saying you're a good person lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 05:23 PM
1

Based on the downvote, I suspect you thought I was being sarcastic, but I wasn't. It was meant as a genuine compliment.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 01:27 AM
1

Relatable!
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/02/25 01:23 AM
5

So those are the figures your charity tells you or sees for themselves. Cool. But that's not how statistics works. The fact that you collaborate with some organization doesn't mean anything. Have you taken a statistics class by chance? How familiar are you with selection bias? What you say its really disrespectful to male victims of SA by men as you are basically denying them. Incredibly disrespectful to those men No I'm not. Truthfully reporting the CDC's own figures about an oft ignored source…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 04:15 PM
6

but not statistics of yearly victims done by the police Which itself suffers from selection bias. That's the point of doing a study, to eliminate the selection bias. Its not, that is the total figure in general. Of all victims, not just DV. Citation needed. And I'm sorry, wikipedia is not a source of statistics of anything as anyone can change it. It's directly from the CDC numbers. It provides links to the source, which you can click on and read for yourself. I can do that for you if it's too d…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 03:49 PM
2

Perfectly said, honestly. Preciate you making that point.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/02/25 03:11 PM
5

It specifies non-reciprocal domestic violence. It's specifically that which is not from fighting or self defense. You missed my point thought. Let's say the finding was the opposite, that 70% was committed by men. Would you still be as quick to dismiss it? I think not, and I'm saying that you appear entrenched in your preconceived notions rather than approaching it with an open mind. Not only that, this is just a study, not statistics. Give me statistics. W- .... Where do you think statistics co…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 02:50 PM
4

That's fine. There is other and more recent data with similar findings, but tbh I'm not interested in link spamming. I'm more curious what makes you think that this statistic would have suddenly changed, and in the direction you're suggesting? If anything, I would suspect the gap would grow larger, due to the increasing women's empowerment vibes in society, and increased suspicion against men. Plus you have the spread of the Duluth Model, which only skews things even further. So why do you belie…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 02:20 PM
1

Actually I think you're understating your point. Men are victims of violent crime at significantly higher rates according to all the data I've seen.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 02:10 PM
2

New here? I thought it was common knowledge around here by this point. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1854883/
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 02:08 PM
6

Depends. 70% of domestic violence is committed by women. Over 50% of overall violent crime is said to be committed by men, but in the same breath, female on male violence is reported significantly less, for obvious reasons. The disparity in reporting is larger than the disparity between male and female violence. This suggests that even the overall violent crime statistic could be the other way around. To be fair, it doesn't prove it, but it does call that statistic into question and should at le…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 04:52 AM
0

You seem like good people.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 04:47 AM
9

It's not about not liking your answer. What he's doing is trying to help walk you through the logical implications of your argument. He's demonstrating that for your argument to be logically consistent, it has to rely on the same premises that you would balk at when applied to other people. The point is that your argument isn't sound, and it appears like you realize that, which is why you aren't engaging with the core of the argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 04:43 AM
4

Haha good point! I would definitely hope we as a society have moved beyond all this. Big hope.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 02:22 PM
3

Totally! But I would hope to instill in her values that would be choosy on completely different metrics, and for her to not feel like her time is any more valuable than anyone else's. I would feel like a failed parent otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 02:18 PM
5

Exactly. Mindsets like this are such a massive turn off that it would kill any interest for me right off the bat. Props to her for being honest. But ew.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 11:09 AM
1

I'm fine with well reasoned disagreement. But you refuse to debate, reason, listen, or engage my points. You keep insisting on arguments I've already defeated, and you're pretending I didn't make the points I have because you know you have no counter argument. You know I've sunk you and your ego can't accept it. I'm done with you. Have a day.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 09:59 PM
1

I said engage with, not agree. That's how debate works. You don't seem to know how to debate.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 09:20 PM
1

Lady you need to listen. "Romantic loneliness" is a term merely to distinguish it from a loneliness which could be cured by friends. It's not fundamentally different, but merely a rough description of the context in which they're speaking. It's more precise but it's not a more accurate descriptor. Are you familiar with the difference between accuracy and precision? "Pi is around 3.1" is accurate but imprecise. "Pi is 3.415165" is more precise, but it's actually much less accurate. People can fee…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 08:33 PM
1

Aw, deflection
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 07:01 PM
3

Your evidence literally doesn't support your claim though. There's a good reason people are acting incredulous, and if you can't provide examples of what you're claiming, your claim is empty.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 05:48 PM
1

Already addressed over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Learn to fuckin' read, please and thank you :)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 07:53 AM
1

Aw, saying "deflection" to deflect from how she self-owned and maybe doesn't even realize. I was trying to connect with you, like you're an actual human being. And you rebuffed that attempt. And weirdly chose to do so in a way that proves my own point.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 01:37 AM
1

, she said, without even a hint of self awareness.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 12:52 AM
1

Totally! Honestly I want to pause on this for a second. I'm tired of fighting and having only negative things to say, so I want to point out a positive. And this is the most sensible thing you've said so far. And might be a step towards progress, towards a mutual understanding​. So, ultimately, we're all pretty much the same deep down. We just want to be loved. To feel like we're good enough, like we're something worth loving. And these people we're talking about, they don't feel loved. More to …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 12:22 AM
1

Okay listen, you really gotta stop with this "you guys" crap. I've explained 4 times already that I'm not the one saying these things. Secondly... You're clearly not listening to me. Your comment here demonstrates exactly what I'm describing. The reason they aren't receptive to this is because they aren't just looking for sex, and aren't really looking for advice, certainly not the same old bs. They're looking for understanding and validation, something you seem incapable of. You hear, you don't…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 11:35 PM
1

It does if you open your mind past reductive dualities. What if I told you advice wasn't what these people really want in the first place? They'd be open to truly novel advice, sure. But what they're really looking for is understanding and validation. Someone to tell them it's okay, they're not crazy or broken or unlovable. Someone who just gets it, who isn't here to nitpick or shift blame or play the victim or tell them again that they just need to "do better". They're looking for connection. L…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 10:34 PM
1

It's equally as bad, just for a different reason. Why so resistant to saying so? Explained thoroughly sooooo many times. Why so resistant to listening?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 10:08 PM
1

Men complain about platonic advice because it's useless to their problem, and complain about your type of romantic advice because it's useless to their problem. Do you honestly think they never thought of "just be more attractive"? "Oh gee, I thought being stinky and out of shape and poor and insecure would really get their panties wet, thanks for this secret advice, wise stranger!" That's the response your advice elicits. And maybe (clearly) you don't care. Because you never did. Caring about t…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 09:55 PM
1

Oh for fuck's sakes. That's not what I'm saying at all and you know that. The two options are not "useless advice on the subject" and "useless advice off the subject"
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 09:37 PM
1

It does matter. Your point is that platonic advice isn't what would be helpful to them, right? My point is it's just as useless as platonic. It's not novel or insightful. It's insulting in its obviousness. Okay look. Here is someone expressing loneliness in this other sub I frequent. https://np.reddit.com/r/infj/comments/1imxms0/i_feel_ill_never_be_loved_romantically_and_im_not/ Read how he describes what he's feeling. See that it's not just about romance or getting laid. He even mentions the us…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 09:27 PM
1

Okay, let's set aside for a moment the fact that you're getting stuck on semantics and missing the forest for trees. I'm realizing there's probably no helping you there. Let's focus on why you allegedly care. You claim it's so that you can give advice on that front instead of platonic, yes? What makes you believe that your "be more attractive, wealthy, and confident" advice is useful to these people?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 09:12 PM
1

Romance means romance It’s just weird to not ask for what you want It's just weird that you aren't able to grasp the concept of nuance. It's weird that you can't comprehend a word being an oversimplification of a broader concept. This is you: "1+1 is math. That's what math is. Therefore I'll just write 1+1=2 for every question on my math test because that's what math is." You'd rather die on the hill of stupidity than concede that you have a shallow understanding of abstract concepts. Oh well, y…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 07:50 PM
1

Sweetie listen. I'm not even trying to be mean here. Your understanding​ of the subject as a whole is like... Adorably infantile. I'm guessing maybe you're a teenager? The fact that you think that advice would be helpful is really on the nose here. It makes everything else moot. You would do well to not waste your own time by insulting people's intelligence with that "advice". You did. By saying men almost always are romantically lonely So they want romance Yes, they would like romance. But as I…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 06:45 PM
1

And you don’t have to do it when you use words I addressed why this doesn't apply. Many, many, many, many times. You have yet to address it. Yes, that’s exactly what I’d tell them. What’s wrong with telling someone how to get romance if they want romance? Bahahaha 🤣 You truly have no clue, do you?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 06:27 PM
1

You don't seem to understand communication. Inference is a fundamental part of communication, utterly necessary for effective communication. It's the entire reason you knew I wasn't referring to cow boobies in that previous sentence. Go ask a linguist. Go ask ChatGPT. As I've already explained till I'm blue in the face, loneliness is the correct word. It's not just about being single or celibate. There's overlap there for sure, but that's not the core of it. If you're not capable of understandin…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 06:19 PM
1

You're still mischaracterizing me. Communication isn't anathema to me. Trying to control other's speech is. We've been at this for 3 or 4 days and this whole time you've been strawmanning, twisting my words, ignoring my points, ignoring my questions, using non sequiturs, and returning to already defeated arguments. If understanding men is actually what you care about, then start by understanding me. You, as an individual human, seem to have a great deal of trouble grasping simple concepts. Maybe…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 05:43 PM
1

Lady we're going in circles. It's like you refuse to listen to what other people say. It's disrespectful. You can assume. You can infer from context. This is not a difficult proposition. It's normal human cognition. Are you by chance on the spectrum?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 03:04 PM
1

Obviously. I've said as much. That has nothing to do with the fact that it's not typically platonic loneliness men are referring to when they talk about it in this context. Does the fact that some people discuss bodily autonomy as if women are objects imply it's true?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 02:52 PM
1

Okay you've just totally lost the script. I really shouldn't have to explain why that doesn't support your point whatsoever. It's trivially obvious. ... Like so much of what you're not getting here.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 07:23 AM
1

It's you that thinks that is a cogent and logical point in your favor. It's not.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 06:38 AM
1

"The fact that some other, nebulous group of people, focuses on certain talking points refutes other people knowing what they personally feel." ... Riiight. Your logic must have called in today.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 03:59 AM
1

No, it encompasses loneliness as a whole. That is best talked about by looking at loneliness in its various manifestations. If someone made a post discussing the epidemic as a whole, they would do well to assume people would talk about it in those terms. Likewise, of someone made a post here about male camaraderie, then platonic loneliness is most likely the focus. But those things are rarely the subject of posts. Barring examples like those, it is more often in reference to romantic loneliness.…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 11:11 PM
1

What? We can assume that in a dating dynamic sub, people who complain about being lonely are doing so in the context of - you guessed it - dating. Far more people understand this than don't. If you're in the perpetually confused minority that apparently can't put 1 and 1 together, it's on you to ask. After all, we can't just assume people are too stupid to get something so obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 09:53 PM
1

Even other women are telling you that you're nitpicking when we all already know what they mean. That's the thing. I don't even disagree with anything you said in this last message. But that distinction is already obvious, and already been made over and over and over. Your inability to apparently get it is personal to you and a few other blue pillers as far as I can tell. The idea that this is what men usually mean is not some surprising or novel insight. It's not highly ambiguous or confusing. …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 09:45 PM
2

She's a sealion.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 09:24 PM
1

I don't know how many times I have to explain the same point to you. As I've repeatedly explained, over and over, loneliness is more than being sans romance. Why do you continue to ignore this and feign ignorance? It's like you're trying to convince me that you're braindead. In the very unlikely chance you're not trolling, you should probably see a doctor. Basic comprehension should really not be this difficult. I'm not even saying that as an insult. I'm saying if you're actually being genuine, …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 09:15 PM
1

Again, I'm not one of those people complaining about loneliness. If you're saying "you" in the general sense, you can use "they". I understand your point. I've already agreed that it's good to be clear and offer clarification if someone misunderstands. I disagree with the notion that we demand people stop using the word loneliness in favor of romancelessness or similar words. If people cannot infer from such obvious context what is meant, that's kind of weird. But hey, people are human. But, if …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 09:03 PM
1

? They do. Or are you asking "why do men also say they're lonely?" As I've already said, there is more to loneliness than you keep trying to reduce it to. "Romance" is better than "you just want sex", I'll grant you that. So maybe you're making a little progress. But one can still feel "romantic loneliness" even while having a romantic partner. Like I've said already. "Loneliness" is the correct word. If you aren't personally able to figure out what that means despite dozens of explanations, tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 08:53 PM
1

Why do you do this? What do you get out of it? Read minds? How can you read a mind, those aren't in written words to be read. Or did you mean something else by "read"? You should specify what you mean instead of expecting me to know your thoughts.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 08:44 PM
1

Please read my message. You will find the answer - which I've already stated numerous times - within those words that I typed.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 08:40 PM
1

Those are terms to convey the way loveliness manifests in 2 different contexts. At the deepest level, loneliness is a description of the human condition when deprived of certain social needs, primarily connection. You could probably say that loneliness is a state of disconnection. Humans need to be connected with others. For some, a sufficiently deep connection with a partner can fulfill those needs. For some (few), the reverse is true. Most people need connection with both a partner and with fr…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 08:34 PM
1

Okay seriously, I'm asking you to stop that. As I've already said clearly, I didn't say there are two definitions. I've already made clear exactly what I said. Are you just misunderstanding me on purpose? I'm using direct, clear, precise language, and it's still not clearing anything up for you. So color me skeptical that "this could call be cleared up but using a different word." The word isn't the problem. Your understanding is.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 07:27 PM
1

So do you not read my replies, or not understand them? It's not a different definition. It's a different context.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 07:02 PM
1

It's literally not gendered. Is teaching an inherently gendered profession? We don't need to specify when it's obvious. We need to learn how to infer from obvious context, and then ask for clarification if the context isn't obvious. This is how language works.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 06:52 PM
1

No. It's not even a separate definition. It's a different context.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 06:47 PM
1

You just said it was men’s definition a few comments up No I didn't. Why do you keep twisting my words? I noticed you seem to do this to people constantly. Please stop doing that. What I said was: "But to give a generalized broad answer: 90%+ of the time a man says he's lonely, he means romantically." Yes, the term loneliness can apply in different senses. When men are talking about loneliness, it's most likely that they're talking about this sense of it, and very obviously in contexts like this…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 05:48 PM
1

I'm not resistant to clarifying. I'm saying it's been clarified to death, when it should have already been obvious. And more than that, I reject your "clarification". "Nope men just want sex" is not clarification, it's obfuscation. You keep trying to put it in a box of "men's definition". It's not a niche definition and you need to understand that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 05:29 PM
1

That's reductive and missing the point though. We don't demand that people stop using "hot" to describe spiciness or attractiveness. We expand our understanding of it and learn to understand the context. Ask any linguist, this is a far more natural process than demanding that other people stop using a correct word just because a minority of people find it confusing. Most people don't have this much confusion. It feels a little like weaponized ignorance in some cases. But I digress. Point is, thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 05:19 PM
1

We're not what?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 04:53 PM
1

Close in a sense but miles apart. Would you ever get into an Uber if it advertised "90% of our drivers have never murdered a passenger"? Lol My point overall is that yeah, most men have different life experiences than most women, and that colors our different conceptions of things like loneliness. But underneath it all, we're made of the very same stuff and ultimately men and women want the same things in life. We can't dismiss half the population's feelings based on statistics saying that they'…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 04:37 PM
1

And now we're back to the focus on one aspect of it lol. I said "for men" because of the context in which I was replying. Your characterization of it makes it an absolute, and I don't typically think or speak in absolutes. What I meant is just what I said.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 03:41 PM
1

You inserted the "sexually", and the "for men and not women"
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 02:25 PM
1

Correct. Which is different than "“Lonely” means “sexually/romantically unfulfilled” for men and not women". Those are two different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 02:21 PM
1

Did you reply to the wrong person? Everything you said is like... Not in response to what I said lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 06:41 AM
1

No you're not. That's not what I said at all. You seem to really have an issue with other people having thoughts of their own and seem to feel the need to define their thoughts for them. My advice would be to work on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 06:29 AM
3

Honestly, props to you for acknowledging a strong argument and expressing a willingness to potentially change your mind if further explored. That's not something I'm used to seeing around here, but it's admirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 12:31 AM
3

This is a massive stretch, my guy. This ain't the move. We can't label a movement a terrorist organization for what it might become. Also it's a movement, not an organization. There's nothing there to label. Also most people have no idea what 4b is. Trying to pull the strings to get it silenced would only amplify it. Look up the "Streisand effect". Lastly, this would just make us all look like pathetic weirdos who actually care about what these other weirdos choose to do with their lives. It's u…
/r/MensRights09/02/25 12:16 AM
1

I can't tell if that's how you strawmanning me or you telling me your opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 11:59 PM
1

So you whenever a man says he’s lonely, he means unpartnered? No. He means he's lonely. Being single may be a reason why. But I've dated people who made me feel lonely. Loneliness isn't just about having friends or a partner. It's about connection. Platonic connection means having equal two way friendships with people who understand and appreciate you. Romantic connection is having an intimate bond with a partner who gets and appreciates you, who makes you feel wanted and special, who lights up …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 09:57 PM
1

It’s unhelpful to tell women they just want sex, because they obviously don’t. Circular logic. What's so obvious that they don't? The fact that many can get it easier than most men? 2 people describe the same exact thing, and you feel qualified to tell one of them they're wrong just because they're a man. That's sexist af. Say the woman is unattractive and morbidly obese, and the man is a wealthy, tall, handsome, confident person. Without fighting the hypothetical, would you still say she obviou…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 09:31 PM
1

Was the "it doesn't apply to women" in reference to "can you agree that it would be reductive, unhelpful, and invalidating to say "nope you just want sex" to the lonely woman?" It’s not a dismissal, it’s being accurate and effective in our remedies and advice It's not accurate. You don't know what these people think and feel better than they do. To suggest otherwise is the height of arrogance. It's not effective. Look up and down this thread. What has the response been? Over and over (because yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 09:09 PM
1

It doesn’t apply to women, because women can get sex anytime, for free Ah, hypocrisy and reinforcing double standards. Got it. So the fact that getting sex is easier for women means it's fine to dismiss men's feelings as being something else even when they describe the exact same thing. Sorry this is just a really gross and sexist mindset. People should be treated with the same dignity and respect no matter their sex. Mindsets like this only make the world a darker place. Plenty of men freely ad…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 08:50 PM
1

As with all things psychological, these are complex and intertwined. The "general sense" includes both platonic and romantic. Platonic isn't the "default" sense of the word, and generally it's pretty easy to understand from context what is meant. I can't see any real excuse for confusion in a place like this sub. Regarding the loneliness epidemic, it depends on who is writing about it. When it's written from a more feminist perspective, absolutely it takes on a more "men need to support each oth…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 08:09 PM
1

I've never really been confused by it. I've only really seen women confused. I think it's one of those things that should be easy to infer from context. Like how "hot" can mean high in temperature, spicy, or attractive, and it's rare for someone to be confused which you mean. And honestly I think women just have such a very different kind of experience in life that many don't have a good grasp of the context. For most women, finding a partner is much easier, and they receive vastly more validati…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 06:56 PM
1

That's what they're doing. You're the one thinking they're wrong when they say they're lonely, because you seem to think it only means "I want friends" or "I'm horny". Romantic loneliness is distinct from both being horny and wanting friends. I would if she said she was lonely but really meant she wants a bf. Because I’m not a boy, and thus can’t help her You're not listening to her. She wants passion and comfort and connection, someone who will be the big spoon and make her feel like she's want…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 06:14 PM
1

That seems like a total non sequitur. Being lonely and being single are different things. And either way, insisting that men are wrong about their feelings and just want sex wouldn't make them start saying that anyways. Those are unrelated concepts and wouldn't matter if they were. Romantic loneliness isn't just about sex in the first place. If you reject that premise, you're choosing to not listen to people and therefore can't begin to give them helpful advice. Also, what of the lonely woman? W…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 06:02 PM
1

But you aren't understanding how dismissing real, valid, and layered feelings as "nope men just want sex" is unhelpful, irrelevant, and disingenuous. You seem to believe that's a cogent point that moves the conversation forward, and you keep conspicuously avoiding all my attempts to earnestly engage you on this. Also, what of the lonely woman? Would you dismiss her as just wanting sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 05:17 PM
1

The reason I'm asking if you're a real person is because I'm trying to understand why you're struggling so much to understand. I love figuring out how people tick, and when I come across someone who just can't grasp a simple concept, I find it fascinating. I think there's probably 3 possibilities. You're literally just not intelligent enough to understand, You're too entrenched in your feelings to use logic effectively on this topic. Maybe a victim of abuse or trauma. You don't see me/these peop…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 04:52 PM
1

I? Who said anything about me? And who said anything about malice? You're injecting a lot here. Either way, you didn't answer my question.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 04:14 PM
1

Are you a real person? Do you have complicated and nuanced thoughts and feelings, hopes, dreams, desires? And do you realize that the people you're talking to do as well? That they're not just a user name on your phone screen, but living, breathing humans?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 03:55 PM
1

It's not that they forget. It's that pointing out the sexual component is missing their point. It's a tactic to dismiss and diminish their feelings instead of engaging with them earnestly. And then there are the men who literally don't even care about the sex at all to begin with. While in the minority, they do exist. Either way, you're not doing anything useful by insisting people are wrong about their own feelings. If you genuinely think men literally forget that romance often entails sex, you…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 03:48 PM
1

That's not the argument you're making. The argument you're making is that when men say they want romance, connection, and emotional intimacy, they're actually just after sex. You've made this argument up and down this thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 03:39 PM
1

No, it's literally using your own logic. Your logic is that if Y is one of the requirements for X, and if someone says they want X, actually they're wrong and it's Y they care about. Correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 03:34 PM
1

Pooping is the reason you do everything?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 03:30 PM
1

Why are you missing the point so hard? The confidence you have in the notion that you're saying something insightful or relevant is just bizarre. But you say you can just reduce things to one of their requirements. Therefore, all you care about is pooping. Right? You have to poop to live, and have to be alive to do anything. So you're just obsessed with pooping. Requirements are requirements, conditions are conditions
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 03:29 PM
2

Why do you believe you're making a meaningful point? You straight up deny that men are looking for more than just sex by saying romance requires sex (which it technically doesn't, but I'm not even going to go down that rabbit hole with you). Even if I accept that romance requires sex, you can't say "no you don't want romance you want sex".
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 03:25 PM
1

And eating requires water and everything you do requires oxygen. That doesn't mean you can reduce everything to that, does it?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 03:22 PM
3

And romance is more than just sex, no matter how much you want to deny that, for some bizarre reason
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 03:20 PM
0

Are you unable to understand the point I'm making? It's not deflection, just perhaps over your head.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 03:17 PM
2

You just want oxygen, don't you?? That's all you care about! Oxygen this, oxygen that. Have you EVER wanted anything else in life?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 03:15 PM
4

"I'm hungry" "What you really mean is you're thirsty" "No, I mean I'm hungry" "Ah, but digesting food requires water. See how that works?" ... This is what you're doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 02:26 PM
4

"I'm saying X" "So you mean Y" "No, I mean X" "Lalala I can't hear you. You think Y"
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 02:15 PM
0

Humans have the ability to infer from context. If someone says that their buffalo wings are too hot, do you assume they mean the chicken is attractive? This sub is about blue pill/red pill stuff. The context is already there. It should be automatically assumed that when someone refers to loneliness, they're referring to romantic loneliness. I would argue this is true most of the time just in general parlance outside of this sub. I rarely hear it used in the sense you're talking about. But in thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 02:12 PM
6

You're not wrong about this. But you partly misidentify the issue, or at least leave out a large part of it. Men are not particularly welcomed into teaching, especially K-12. Male teachers are often viewed suspiciously. I'm not going to say every male teacher ever has been subject to accusations, but many men don't feel comfortable even putting themselves into the position to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 04:09 AM
3

Thank you. Genuinely.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 04:00 AM
2

You speak truth. I think I often run afoul by assuming the other person shares the same reality as I do. Same facts and value structure. But perhaps I would be better served to assume that the chasm between them and I is simply too wide to be bridged by a common language. And thus that which I would call a lie was said by them earnestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 04:46 AM
1

Okay, but you're not addressing what I'm saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 09:32 PM
1

Your contention is semantic then, not conceptual. Blame often carries a negative connotation, but isn't strictly necessary. Even that though is beside the point. Say my wife says she wants to go eat at this new fancy restaurant, so we go. We both enjoy it, and she ordered an expensive dish that she liked. At the end of the month, she complains to me that our account is $100 less than she expected, and says I should be better with money. I reply "I wonder who wanted to go to a very expensive rest…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 09:23 PM
2

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills lol. Men tend to be the consumers, creating the demand for said content. That's all there is to it. You said it right here. You're blaming men for creating the demand. You don't have to think that content is bad for that to be blame. You're essentially dismissing OP's post by saying "Well it's y'all's fault for creating the demand, so it's stupid to complain about it." That's what blame is, which is exactly what the guy said.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 09:07 PM
3

... Wait. You thought he was accusing you of screaming misogyny? He was clearly referencing a societal trend, not you. The only thing he said regarding you was that it seems you're trying to blame men, because that's the only thing your original comment said, and what we've been talking about this whole time.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 08:57 PM
3

So... You were doing exactly what he was saying then. Pointing a finger. His comment wasn't projection, it was a description and you're just trying to gaslight him by pretending it's his fault for interrupting your words exactly how you meant them. It's fine to feel the way you do, but you should be honest about it at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 08:42 PM
3

I don't really disagree with you, but I think the pattern you're describing is more a function of what "support" means to different people. I think for some, support means "hope everything goes well for them" and for others it means "this person counts on me and I'll do whatever I can within reason to help them." I think everyone falls somewhere between these, but perhaps women are more likely to lean a different way than men. It might be related to the hypo-agency/hyper-agency dynamic with men …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 08:30 PM
4

I'm not sure about that. I'm mostly indifferent on it. I think maybe OP makes some valid points, but I don't think that content is good or bad in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 08:19 PM
5

Well alright, I assumed your response was meant to respond to what I was saying, which is that your implication appears obvious even to people with no dog in that fight.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 08:13 PM
5

I'm not sure how that follows. I'm not a consumer of that content nor am I complaining. I'm speaking only of how your comment reads to a neutral third party. It's not hard to say "Shoot, I could have worded that better" instead of shifting blame, which only makes it seem more likely that your words matched your intention.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 08:08 PM
7

I think you're identifying an aspect of human nature more than feminine dynamics specifically. Studies show that women have a significant in-group bias that isn't found in men. Generally speaking, that support among women is genuine. It might be capricious and easily lost, but that's a different thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 08:04 PM
6

To be fair to this guy, the implication you're making at least appears extremely obvious. It might not be reflective of your intention or beliefs, but I think most reasonable people would read it this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 08:00 PM
1

I get you. I think the counter argument is that you claim that academic credentials may indicate a higher likelihood of intelligence, and I would agree. But you acknowledge it's far from guaranteed. Wouldn't it be better then to "base" (as if one bases their attraction, but you know what I mean) it on the existence of the trait itself, rather than external metrics that might correlate with said trait? An example is that I like people who are kind. And kind people might be more likely to have mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 05:50 AM
1

Sure. I'd have questions too. That's different than being attracted to someone for their money and status.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 05:45 AM
2

I get that it's formed from evolutionary mechanisms. I understand "why". Still feels extremely weird to me. The concept of "choosing" to fall in love doesn't make sense to me, and the concept of being more attracted to someone because of their resources feels gross to me. Doesn't mean I don't understand feeling security from it. Womens sexualities aren't all physical like mens tend to be. What's really more shallow? Liking a person because of their body or liking a person for their ambition, per…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 05:44 AM
2

I see it. I just think it's weird that someone would think like that. I can't wrap my head around the idea of dating someone for their resources. It's the opposite of real love.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 10:26 PM
5

I've really never understood preferences based on wealth, status, or achievement. It's very common so I don't know if it counts as "weird", but it's always seemed very strange to me and missing the point. Preferences around unhealthy body composition is another strange one, be it unreasonably skinny or obese.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 09:34 PM
–

Totally. There's no value judgement in what I'm saying, and anyone can find or not find meaning in whatever they please. It's just that meaninglessness is one of the best paths to misery. I do understand that you probably think I'm missing the point and over philosophizing a very real and valid concern for people. And I totally get why it would look like that! But these things are much more related than they may seem. And ultimately, the point I'm making is that we don't have all the answers and…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 03:05 PM
–

Exactly. "Wtf is the point" IS the point. Nihilism is a dead end. It goes nowhere and means nothing. Absurdism is like nihilism's cousin. They were both philosophical incels, but absurdism got off the couch and did something about it. It's about finding meaning in the meaninglessness of it. Accept that life is a dark comedy and we're the butt monkeys of the joke. Sometimes we get a banana. Usually it's a butt banana. And that's pretty funny lol. But sometimes, every now and then, it's a normal b…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 02:41 PM
–

We must imagine Sisyphus happy. Are you familiar with absurdism?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 02:26 PM
4

Hey, you're good people. It's refreshing to see. Keep being awesome ☺️
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 01:15 AM
1

All good buddy. I'm sorry for returning the insult. Have a pleasant evening 🙏
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 12:02 AM
1

Alright man. Have a good day.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 11:19 PM
1

I'm tiring of your inability to understand common sense or logic and lacking the self awareness to realize it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 11:13 PM
1

You're inserting your own beliefs about hypotheticals. Hypotheticals don't matter. The point being made here is that here and now (and throughout most of history) women are demonstrably more selective. That's just a fact. You can attribute it to different options if you want, it doesn't change the fact.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 11:12 PM
1

I'm not sure why you think this hypothetical that neither of us could prove has any bearing on things we do have and can prove.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 11:09 PM
1

You're misinterpreting the data. Sites don't say men are less attractive. They show that women rate most men lower. Because... They're more selective. It makes no sense to say the average male is objectively less attractive on average, any more than saying the average coconut is below average size for coconuts.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 11:08 PM
1

Which doesn't even make sense. It's illogical. Women are considered attractive by men for different traits than men were are by women. In attraction, we have what's called an overlapping consensus. Individual preferences vary. That much is trivial and self evident, and proof that attraction is subjective. There are trays that most people mostly agree are attractive, which is the overlapping consensus. It's compared to the baseline of male and female form. The average man is off average attractiv…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:27 PM
1

This is what you said: Women are not selective That disagrees with the claim that women are more selective. Are you sure you even understand your own words?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:20 PM
3

I'm feeling bad because I don't know if you're a child, or someone who may have suffered an accident, or just got a bad draw at birth, or what. A personal flaw of mine is that I tend to get condescending when someone is rudely and confidently wrong. I'm trying to be aware of it and adjust my tone accordingly. But your apparent level of intelligence is making me feel even worse about it, because I can see that you don't even understand the concepts we're taking about. I'm not trying to dunk on so…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:17 PM
1

Everything else? What have you debunked?? You haven't debunked anything dude, that's what I'm saying. You're trying to move the goal posts and claim victory where you've had none. It wouldn't serve us to get distracted down a different rabbit hole in which the main point isn't even contingent. The claim we're talking about is that women tend to be more selective than men in mate pairing. This is both common sense and demonstrably shown in numerous research. The burden is on you to debunk that, w…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:13 PM
1

That example was a minor component of everything I said. Even if I accept your point, my main point isn't addressed to move the conversation forward, notwithstanding that there are many other rebuttals and examples I could give.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:00 PM
3

My friend, I'm beginning to feel bad here, because you clearly aren't understanding basic logic and you think I'm the one who isn't. I've no malice here and I feel like I'm being forced to punch down on someone who can't even understand it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 09:58 PM
1

I get what you're saying. I'm saying that this isn't a counter argument regarding female mating strategy. It's also not entirely correct, studies show that women tend to be attracted to different things, and that attraction is partly a function of culture. Hence why in some cultures, excessive weight is considered attractive, while it isn't in the vast majority elsewhere in the world. Attraction is partly biological and partly sociological. Either way though, you haven't made any argument regard…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 09:55 PM
3

... You're saying that you lacking intelligence proves your point...? I'm not sure if you're employing meta irony for humor, or if it's just sad irony. I the former, I can actually appreciate that lol 🙏
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 09:37 PM
1

Debunk what? You haven't made any relevant or cogent claim to debunk lol. What you've says amounts to "if things were different than they are, then things would be different than they are." It's not an argument demonstrating that women aren't more selective in dating, which is both common sense and demonstrable fact grounded in anthropology and sociology. You can find numerous studies on the topic. It's a trivial effort to Google it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 09:35 PM
4

I find it amusing that you're saying I lack intelligence when your language skills are barely intelligible and you apparently don't know how to use basic grammar. Further, what you're saying isn't even relevant; it doesn't address the core of the claim that women are more selective. You clearly don't even understand what it means. The statement isn't hinged on whether it's by genetic or social factors, nor does it makes claims about hypothetical counterfactuals that aren't true. You shouldn't be…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 06:28 PM
5

I think you might be misunderstanding what this person is saying. It's self evident that women are more selective than men, which is also backed by empirical data.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 06:04 PM
8

That's exactly what being selective looks like lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 06:01 PM
1

You're good people. I appreciate people like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 10:37 PM
3

Big vibes, brother. Fight the good fight and stay safe out there.
/r/MensRights03/01/25 12:46 AM
6

Thank you! I've been saying this for years but nobody seems to understand. r/leftwingmaleadvocates exists for a reason, and it's kind of unfortunate that this has been turned into left v right when it's anything but. We really need a whole new paradigm to understand these kinds of issues.
/r/MensRights02/01/25 02:29 PM
15

Are you trolling? Or do you actually not understand the difference?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 09:35 PM
0

Not really, not for most people, certainly not for most men. It's the way they're wired. A good social support network can mitigate this, but less so for men, and that's before considering that men generally don't have that so much to begin with. In essence, men biologically feel this problem more, and also have fewer means of mitigating it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 09:33 PM
9

They can create spaces/communities outside of relationships to support each other That's what they do. This is the so called "manosphere" and red pill communities. The same ones many women want shut down. It should come as no surprise that the people who seek out such communities are exactly the people who do not get such support elsewhere in their life.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 09:29 PM
12

Have you noticed whenever a man speaks up about sexual assault it’s always other men degrading him and generally women consoling him. No. Because it's not the case. And ffs, read the room.
/r/MensRights28/12/24 11:22 AM
–

I think we both know the answer to that unfortunately
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 01:50 PM
–

Great question. It makes me think of another. Why do women eat food? They're always complaining about how hard it is to lose weight, so why don't they just stop eating food altogether?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 01:43 PM
1

I've stupidly stayed in abusive relationships far longer than any bright man would. So this isn't coming from a place of superiority. But my guy. How could you see all that happening before hand and still tag in for that hell in a cell?
/r/MensRights19/12/24 01:20 PM
9

Are you reading both images? On the first screenshot, she says "I just didn't like the idea of splitting the bill". He responds "Why? It was ur idea", and she says "I didn't think you would actually do it." That indicates that she proposed they split the bill, expecting him to refuse and insist on paying it himself, and she was upset that he went along with her suggestion. In what way is that materially or substantively different?
/r/MensRights14/12/24 09:36 PM
7

Are you capable of articulating exactly what you think you're demonstrating here? Because as far as I can see, you're just linking to the post where what this person describes is literally what happened.
/r/MensRights14/12/24 09:29 PM
1

I didn't call you retarded. I asked very politely if you were autistic. It seems you don't know what autism is. You clearly don't even get what I meant about "request". You interpret everything so uncharitably and weird man. It wasn't the blog I linked but the first link of my OP. That is a domestic helpline page. You denied it without any proper reason that it's invalid. I assume you're talking about this? "Abusers partake in: name calling, yelling, making demeaning comments, nagging, cussing, …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 04:11 AM
1

Ugh oh my God dude. This is exhausting. I didn't call the dictionary wrong. Stop with this bullshit. Either you know what you're doing, in which case you're being a total jerkass, or you genuinely don't know, in which case you aren't able to have intelligent discussions on topics like this. I'm not even trying to say that to be mean. But you're either just trolling or incapable. It's not a matter of "for me X is abuse". I think, assuming you're not intentionally trolling, that part of the issue …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 03:34 AM
1

My dude, you literally don't even know what logic means. That's not logic 😂 Logic is systematized argumentation from foundational principles. Blogs, reddit polls, and semantic fallacies are not logic. I've already defeated all of these non-arguments, you keep bringing them back up like a child. Stop "debating" in bad faith. You know nothing. You don't even realize why what you're saying doesn't make sense. You're embarrassing yourself and don't see why. I'm going to guess you're like 16 or so, y…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 02:57 AM
3

For real. He even keeps claiming that he speaks for men, that most men agree with him. Despite everyone here telling him he's full of crap. He's just a delusional kid who hasn't even had a relationship yet, has no experience to speak from or context in which to place concepts like "abuse". Honestly I think that's a huge part of the rep you speak of. You can't see who the other person is online, so you default to weighing their opinions as if they're spoken by another adult. Which can easily give…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 01:58 AM
1

For someone who set their flair as "truth seeker", you sure seem allergic to it. I just explained why that little poll is useless statistically, and it should be obvious why it's useless epistemologically. You can conduct a hundred surveys, it doesn't mean jack squat. Whether "nagging" is abuse is not predicated upon how many people on reddit you can find that agree. That's not how this works. Polls aren't a source. The most your article said is that nagging could be part of a cycle of abuse. Yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 12:11 AM
3

Because the only time society at large deems it acceptable to talk about men being the victims is when other men are also the perpetrator. It would be more productive to teach men how to behave better to other men. Your premise is wrong. You seem to be speaking from the same conceptual framework that likes to say "men hold the power". You commit a category error in thinking that 50% of the population could be or need to be "taught" something. It doesn't work like that just like you couldn't and …
/r/MensRights08/12/24 10:46 PM
1

Okay dude, I was trying to be as charitable as I could possibly be. You just didn't know what you're talking about. You have no experience in a relationship and no real concept of these things. Of course you don't like getting nagged at. Nobody does! But "irritating" is so far away from abuse that it's truly comical. On one hand, I'm happy you're so clueless. Because it means you've never experienced real hardship. So for that, I'm happy. But you should try to be more aware of the limits of your…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 09:07 PM
1

Why do I need to explain some poll on Reddit? Again, you're trying to appeal to authority (consensus of a couple dozen redditors in a different context from a year ago). Those things hold zero weight to me. I could easily counter it by asking you to explain why so many people here are saying it's not abuse. I didn't say it doesn't bother me. I actually said it does. But it's a different thing from actual abuse. Look, my intuition is telling me that you're probably a depressed dude who's going th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 04:06 PM
6

Yeah, there's a reason all the men here are also perplexed by OP lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 03:35 PM
1

Lmao dude, I've been nagged plenty. I've also been actually abused. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I've through hell and back. Nagging isn't even in the same ballpark as abuse. I don't want to invalidate your feelings and tell you to "just toughen up buttercup". I'm sorry for what you've experienced, and I'm sure it wasn't fun. But it does kind of invalidate actual abuse to call nagging the same. It's like those people who cry rape for totally consensual things that they simply later regrett…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 03:27 PM
1

I'm not dodging it, you're interpreting the concept differently than it was meant and totally missing my obvious point to the extent I'm beginning the believe you're just trolling. Interpret it as "egalitarian men split the bill", not "men who split the bill are egalitarian" Let's break it down Barney style and make it a formal syllogism: A. Egalitarian men split bills B. Women don't like men who split bills C. Therefore, women don't like egalitarian men. If you disagree with the conclusion, it …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 03:21 PM
1

Tell me something, you are tired from work and don't want to do the dishes just yet. She says you have to do it now once and you say no I will do it later when I am recuperated. She still keeps on repeating it again and again. How do you feel? Do you feel good? That's perfectly fine? I would feel annoyed and irritated. Not abused. You likened it to nitpicking, in no definition it's written nitpicking is continuous My dude. I say this with genuine good intent to help you from better arguments. Bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 02:59 PM
2

Wait. Did you genuinely think they were making a broad claim on the nature of egalitarianism as it relates to dating? It seems pretty clear that they were speaking within the more limited context of bill splitting. That is what they claimed. They didn't claim that though. You're inferring it from what they're saying, simply because they didn't provide a more comprehensive definition of egalitarian. "Bill splitting alone makes an egalitarian" is not the central thesis they're making. They are usi…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 02:38 PM
1

Nagging is a type of verbal insult that you keep on repeating despite the other one being irritated. It's not an insult. An insult is something else altogether dude. And repeating something irritating is not abuse either. Irritation is nothing compared to abuse, even if someone repeats it. You might be irritated by your wife making pork chops twice a week every week. That's repeated irritation, and not remotely abuse. The definition of dictionary itself says "persistently annoying or finding fau…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 02:26 PM
1

You potentially being autistic wouldn't invalidate what you're saying. I wouldn't even call it a mental disorder. It would just give me context as to why you're having trouble with something. But if you're not, you're not. I'm sorry if me asking hurt your feelings. If it is biaser why don't you give a counter one? What's stopping you? Because, like I said, the merit of an argument is in its logical soundness, not in who said it. I place no weight in your source, just as I wouldn't expect you to …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 01:56 PM
3

I wasn't insulting you. There's nothing wrong or demeaning about being autistic. I was asking genuinely so I could understand why you're having trouble understanding something that seems so obvious to me. It was my attempt to humanize you and be sensitive to your struggles. You're attempting to use 2 fallacies here. One is called the semantic fallacy, in which you try to use pedantic interpretations of a definition to dismiss an argument. The other is appeal to authority. You're sourcing some bl…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 01:23 PM
3

I'm curious why you think this serves your argument, and why you seem to be unfamiliar with conceptual synonyms. Genuine question just to help me place how I should respond, but are you autistic? I find people on the spectrum struggle to understand matters like this. In any case, let's pretend you're correct here. It's still not abuse dude. As I said in another comment, would you call vacuuming the carpet abuse? Of course not. But if someone vacuumed multiple times a day in the middle of the nig…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 12:54 PM
3

... That's nitpicking. Annoyingly finding fault. The fact that Merriam Webster doesn't use the word "request" doesn't mean I have the wrong definition lol. And going by their definition - which describes the same thing I did - it's still not abuse, my dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 12:34 PM
1

But it wasn't, for the reasons I've already explained. You're committing a category error. It's only a rebuttal if their central premise was that splitting a bill defacto makes someone an egalitarian. You keep ignoring that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 12:17 PM
3

An abusive person can do anything in excess to abuse. Is vacuuming the carpet abusive? Of course not. But if someone did it 5 times a day every day while you're sleeping just to prevent you from getting sleep, well now it is. Just because an abusive person can do something to abuse doesn't mean that thing is abusive on its own.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 11:40 AM
2

Nit-picking, requesting someone do or not do something. It can be annoying. But it in itself is far from abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 11:34 AM
11

As we know, men are more likely to physically abuse their SO That's not true at all. 70% of non-reciprocated domestic violence is done by women. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1854883/ ... That being said... Your argument is bollocks, dude. Nagging isn't abuse. C'mon. As someone who's been abused plenty, let's not water down the term.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 04:29 AM
2

Because it wasn't a rebuttal of their point but an ill-conceived semantic argument lol. You can rebut their actual point all you want my dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 04:21 AM
2

You'd have to ask them, it's not my argument. I'm not even saying whether I agree with theirs. Just that your logic in your objection is wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 03:34 AM
2

The other person never claimed that splitting bills was the once thing necessary to be an egalitarian. They said that egalitarian men are being penalized. The fact that egalitarian men split the bill doesn't mean that splitting the bill is by itself all it takes to be egalitarian. Say you're a truck driver, and the president comes out for some reason and announces that all diesel fuel is going to be subject to various new taxes, but not regular gasoline. You might exclaim that truck drivers are …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 01:12 AM
3

Are you intentionally missing the point? Playing football is an example of athletics. Splitting bills equitably is an example of egalitarianism. Gender equality is another example of egalitarianism, but one that you inserted into the conversation yourself. Neither gender equality nor egalitarianism "is about" paying for dates, in the same way that athletics isn't "about" playing football. C'mon dude, this is super simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 12:12 AM
5

Then you probably should have used a more fitting analogy to reflect that. Pray tell, what would be the egalitarian method of payment be on dates then, if not splitting the bill?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 11:28 PM
6

By that analogy, you suggest that the person in question only split the bill once, as opposed to it being something they do regularly.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 11:21 PM
8

Is the requirement for characterizing a thing that it encompasses every manifestation of that characterization? I suppose we couldn't call a football player an athlete because the sum total of athletics is not based on playing football, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 09:49 PM
3

My pleasure, friend. And yeah, I would agree with your premises here.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 02:25 PM
3

You mean to say "heuristic", not proxy. Not saying your argument is true or false, just trying to help you make it stronger. To engage in your argument: People have always used heuristics. Not just for dating, but for everything. It's how our brains are wired. I think your argument is better framed to say that the threshold of people's exclusionary heuristics in dating have lowered because of the illusion of availability, with a commensurate increase in positive heuristics. I.e. The floor is low…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 01:30 PM
2

No. They're set up by groups of people that happen to have more males than females. Saying they're "set up by men" is what's called the apex fallacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 03:22 PM
6

A. I'm not taking a moral high ground. I made no moral claims at all. You seem to be projecting a lot here. B. You haven't countered any point of mine. I only made one in regards to this, and you just skirted around it to accuse me of being angry at women. Do you actually understand the point I was making?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 04:23 AM
5

I'm not on "a side". My flair is no pill. The fact that I was pointing out a fallacy in your argument doesn't make me against you. I'm not indicating I'm part of any group.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 04:12 AM
4

I'm not? Where are you getting that I'm pissed at women? Why do you keep throwing these wild accusations at me?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 02:55 AM
5

Wow. Really came out swinging, huh? A. I can't do that because your framework is inaccurate. As I said, it's not men or women who set up systems. 99% of both men and women have no meaningful individual power over these systems. You're operating from a conceptual framework that seeks to hold 99% of a given group responsible for the actions of 1% of people who happen to share a characteristic with them. To do so precludes a deeper understanding. B. I'm not angry. I'm not the person you were talkin…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 02:37 AM
7

set up by women This is a red herring and weakens your point. Systems are not set up "by women" or "by men". They're set up by people in power, and the gender of those individuals is not reflective or representative of women or men. I say this to try to help you construct a stronger argument. The question "What system issues exist to oppress men" is a much stronger question without adding "set up by women".
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 02:27 AM
1

If "men are held to different standards in the US criminal justice system" is the worst argument you've heard, I would suggest reevaluating your belief system. It's uncontroversial and well supported by facts and data. Do you think men commit more violence than women Depends on the context. Domestic violence, no. Women commit 60-70% of that. Overall violence, yes. Likely over 70%.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 09:54 PM
2

More than 90% of prisoners are men. Are you not aware of the biases in the criminal justice system?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 06:28 PM
–

? I understand those are different points lol. That's why I said it's a combination.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 01:55 AM
–

Ah okay, good points. A combination of intimidation, bad experiences, and looking for someone with long term potential that they aren't attracted to now but might be in the future. 'Preciate your insight!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 01:33 AM
–

Ah you might be right, I didn't even think about that. Makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 01:29 AM
–

I respect that you framed this equitably, without bias to one sex or the other. I appreciate people like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 01:22 AM
–

Do you have any insight into why women message men they view as below average more often than the ones they think are above? To be clear I'm not asking rhetorically to make a point, I'm genuinely curious lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 01:09 AM
1

... You having a bad day, brother? Edit: Nvm, I think maybe I was reading a tone there you didn't intend
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/11/24 10:27 PM
1

I get you. We're cut from similar cloth. It wasn't intended as criticism, but simply well-meaning advice from someone with a penchant for poetic sophistry and analytical diatribes, which go misunderstood far more than I would like. 🙏
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/11/24 06:49 PM
10

Hey brother. Love your post and you make excellent points. I like how you seek to address these concerns philosophically rather than politically, and I think that's an important path forward. However I think your points would be better received with a bit more precision and concision, and I suspect your words don't speak to as broad an audience as you would like.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/11/24 05:11 PM
2

Get a room you two love birds 🥰
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 07:25 PM
11

To me, it's about egalitarianism being the core focus. I believe identity politics is a fundamentally right wing ideologically, one that many people on the left have unfortunately co-opted in recent years. I define identity politics as messaging focused on certain identity groups instead of people as a whole. That includes feminism as well as male chauvinism, white supremacy, etc. It includes broader narratives, including the zeitgeist surrounding feminism and men's rights. I think the way forwa…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/11/24 11:01 PM
2

I like you. Keep encouraging and engaging in thoughtful, good faith discourse, friend.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/11/24 07:13 PM
5

On one hand, I think this concern is not overly warranted, as a person could just as easily fake physical abuse of other kinds, by hitting or cutting themselves, etc. It would be fucked up no matter what form lying takes. But on the other hand, I can relate with this concern in a different way. I'm... Problematically large. I know that sounds like a humble brag, but there's no way to say it that doesn't. It's genuinely not something someone should want, and every partner thus far has expressed t…
/r/MensRights11/11/24 06:34 PM
7

I'm not sure this is as illustrative as some people are making it out to be. Propensity to risk taking behaviors is associated with higher testosterone, not lower.
/r/MensRights08/11/24 02:09 PM
3

I understand the principle behind your feelings and I can relate to it. But I'd like to play devil's advocate and ask some questions here because I think your conclusion isn't fully supported by your premises. > Voting should be reserved for very select things, and only allowed to very select voters. Who decides what select voters and what select things? Why do they get to decide them, and how do we know we can or should trust their judgment? What gives them more authority to make difficult deci…
/r/MensRights07/11/24 04:26 AM
1

Absolutely
/r/MensRights07/11/24 04:11 AM
3

Did you reply and delete your comment?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/11/24 01:51 AM
16

Said without any hint of awareness or irony
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/11/24 01:37 AM
5

You could just use words my dude. I hope you don't expect me to watch a 43 minute YouTube video.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 10:41 PM
6

No they weren't. Wait, are you basing that on their name being "Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei"? You realize that bad actors like to name things strategically, right? Democratic People's Republic of Korea ring a bell?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 10:31 PM
1

It is your argument. He's saying "there's a difference between not liking an option and not having an option" and you're saying "not liking an option is the same as it not being an option, and I'll demonstrate this by insisting you could just choose to be gay". Your argument conflates options with preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 01:05 PM
2

You are technically correct (the best kind of correct). But you do realize the consequences of your argument, yes? Your argument is essentially "Your sexuality is not a criteria for precluding options." Your criteria for options also includes animals and children. And toasters, presumably. It should be obvious that when considering one's options, it is within the bounds of appropriate sex, age, and species. That's common sense. It's intellectually dishonest to dismiss their point by equivocating…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 08:28 PM
2

I appreciate your open mind and willingness to explore different mindsets. Feminism has unfortunately done a great job of marketing itself as something it's not, and I suspect a fair amount of people who call themselves feminists are actually egalitarians looking for a home. I dream of there someday being a unified egalitarian movement that doesn't advocate for only one sex, race, orientation, etc.
/r/MensRights13/10/24 11:57 PM
20

Eh... Have you seen the UK lately?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/10/24 11:44 PM
4

I think you may need to define "chasing" and how it is different from pursuing, initiating, etc. The distinction makes what you're saying either nonsense or obvious common sense everyone should already agree with, depending on how you're using it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 03:22 PM
4

I better see 4k video evidence with you fighting for your life. Come on brother, we don't need to resort to hyperbole. That makes us no better than them, and only gives them ammo.
/r/MensRights10/10/24 01:41 AM
39

Ethanol?
/r/MensRights10/10/24 01:38 AM
1

Update tomorrow please
/r/MensRights09/10/24 08:13 PM
-1

Good point. I didn't realize OP was the spokesperson of 4 billion people, but since he can apparently change your mindset and opinion of them, he clearly must be.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 03:30 PM
7

Is your need to be a victim so strong that you can't accept that the people being killed, maimed, and permanently traumatized by war are the primary victims of war? To try to wrestle that away from them is the height of entitlement.
/r/MensRights03/10/24 12:58 PM
18

That's so wrong it would be comical if not sad. Actually women are the perpetrators in 70% of heterosexual domestic violence. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1854883/
/r/MensRights29/09/24 06:10 PM
4

I'm a pretty intuitive guy. I can see when there's an issue, some vague emotional tension that's unresolved. And so I ask. "I'm fine." "Are you sure? Because I can tell there's something on your mind." "I said I'm fine." So I back off and give space. Turns out, she was not fine. I've had 8 serious long term relationships, and this has been my experience in about 6 of them. In 3 of those six, I tried to circumvent this by gently insisting that I would like to talk about whatever is on their mind,…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 02:17 AM
3

My pleasure. Have a pleasant evening.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 01:11 AM
3

I won't pretend to have a solid answer to that. I think it depends on a few factors, such as culture, how the question is asked, and how one defines terms such as "rape", "force", "consent", etc. Using what seems (to me) to be common sense definitions, and in a place like the US? I might reckon 5%. Maybe 10%. Using loose definitions and considering a place such as India? I wouldn't be surprised to see a figure even higher than 30%. Using the "any level of inebriation is rape" definition that som…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 01:06 AM
5

who felt as though phrasing like "teach men not to rape" was condescending, but percievd tone aside It's not just that it's condescending. It's not just the tone. It's that it is predicated on patently false and facile premises. We could "teach" that all day, every day, in every form and format, and it's not going to make a meaningful dent in actual issues. It misses the point, and is arguably dangerous in a sense. Because the more it gets bandied around like it means anything, the less able we …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 12:47 AM
9

It's controlled opposition.
/r/MensRights12/09/24 12:25 AM
12

Yep. A lot of us can relate to being suddenly left by the people we poured love and support and the best years of our life into. 80% of divorces are initiated by women, after all. Look, you're clearly bitter and angry and you're taking it out on someone who didn't hurt you. I sympathize with you, I truly do. I won't pretend to know your entire situation and individual battles, but I do know what you're going through in this respect and it sucks. You deserve unconditional love and unending loyalt…
/r/MensRights12/09/24 12:22 AM
2

🙏 You're good people. I really wish more people, of all types, saw things the same. It's the same reason I don't call myself a men's rights activist. Even though I believe they are doing good work and far less tribalistic than feminism, it's still a movement primarily for one group, and so can never achieve the end goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 06:08 PM
13

Those were simpler times. I would distinguish between the "everyone is a special snowflake" equality and "Oh you're male/female/gay/straight/white/black/whatever? Ok cool I really don't care" equality. But either are better than the Animal Farm equality we have today.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 09:38 PM
13

What about feminism do you stand against as a leftist? I'm not the person you're asking this to, but I suspect their answer would be similar to mine. For me, it's because it's fundamentally anti-egalitarian. I'm strongly in favor of equality and believe it cannot be achieved by advocating for individual identity groups. I do believe it can be a potentially useful technique in the short term, and if it's an extremely wide gap, to begin to lessen the gap. But it's short-sighted and only results in…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 09:17 PM
–

This is so unrelatable lol
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 02:15 PM
3

It was probably a typo for "competent", I suspect
/r/MensRights03/09/24 07:44 PM
7

What the person you're taking to is saying is less about whether you asked them, and more about the social carrots and sticks regarding the topic. Essentially that they were confronted with "dating is really hard for men", and have to respond in some way. Either by agreeing with that, and losing face in front of their partners, or taking the opportunity to disagree and seem like a more valuable catch. So just by virtue of you broaching the topic, they were incentivized to say what they did.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 09:14 PM
1

And also abuse them more (atleast physically, Actually that's a common misunderstanding. In heterosexual relationships, 70% of domestic violence is done by women to men. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1854883/
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 12:00 AM
4

That's both baseless and very tangential to what they were actually talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/24 09:05 PM
1

I doubt it. I don't know the grounds on which to claim damages, and it would hardly be a drop in the bucket anyways.
/r/MensRights26/08/24 08:03 AM
3

It doesn't break TOS I'm not even kidding. It's against the rules to use hate speech against "marginalized groups". All is fair against men. People here have tried reporting stuff like this, and are always told misandry doesn't break TOS, no matter how extreme. We're not even people, dude.
/r/MensRights26/08/24 12:29 AM
4

For your own sanity, I implore you to reconsider.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/08/24 09:35 PM
22

How dare he forget that he is first and foremost a tool for her? Now he's getting all uppity, after selfishly ignoring *her needs* for 3 years. Her need to have a happy, healthy, attractive husband. And she probably did all the housework and raised the kids all by herself, all while bravely allowing that... *thing* to even sleep in the same bed as her. I bet he even played video games at some point. He's lucky she didn't leave with the kids already. Red flags, toxic gaslighting, you have a *husb…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/08/24 09:34 PM
4

Brother, I'm not even red pill, but it's obvious to me that you're doing him dirty here. You don't have to like or agree with his opinions, but it's clear he's at least an intelligent person, and you're trying to ascribe the mindset of some poorly written comic book villain to him lol. And congratulating yourself while doing so. It's generally poor form to insist to someone that you know how they feel about something better than they do, and doubly so when you're painting it as black and white a…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 08:35 PM
2

I suppose we do
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/24 04:50 AM
6

That was the premise of the humor. Jerry was the butt of the joke, because it was ridiculous. It wasn't a jab at women, but at capricious pickiness. Which is the trait that is gross about people who get "the ick". Which is something you basically don't see guys expressing in sincerity, beyond outliers. That's what people's point is, really.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 09:14 PM
2

70% of domestic partner violence is done by women, not to women https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1854883/
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 12:30 PM
1

Good on ya for that, it's a sentiment not often expressed, beyond platitudes anyways, and I appreciate it when I see it. I personally think we (people as a whole) do a disservice to both sexes by talking about these types of things in gendered frameworks, whether it's men or women more often the victim. I think advocating for/against one group, even in the name of equality, only pushes the pendulum and increases division. When we should be focused on treating all humans with equal dignity regard…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 10:52 PM
2

I realize I was remiss to not give you a link to the relevant study for further reading. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1854883/ There are some other studies with similar findings, but this was the one I was most alluding to.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 09:47 PM
3

Okay fair enough, I appreciate your honesty.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 09:25 PM
2

insecure women turn violence inward as self-harm because it's not feminine to be outwardly violent How would you say this vibes with the data showing that the large majority of non-reciprocated domestic violence is by women against men? I do agree that what you're saying is the conventional wisdom of the topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 09:08 PM
7

Ugh. I don't know why I continue to engage in this sub, I only ever find people who don't understand logic or debate. Listen. I'm not talking about the validity of your experience. I'm not arguing with you about it at all. It doesn't matter that I wasn't there because your experience is your experience. It's literally just what you personally experienced. And you are a sample size of 1. Your experience is not reflective of male mindsets broadly, hence why all the guys here are saying that. This …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 12:11 PM
1

What? I never said otherwise. I just said that your experience is not reflective of any broader fact. You would be inaccurate if you tried to apply what you think you learned from your experience broadly, because men simply don't act or react that way, on the whole. Doesn't mean your experience wasn't valid in isolation.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 04:15 AM
7

That's your singular personal experience. Many actual men here are telling you that it isn't the case broadly speaking. It could be the way you approached, it could be the circumstances, it could be you just approached assholes, or it could be that you simply experienced what men are expected to normally. Rejection. Rejection sucks. It can feel like hostility. You have the right to not approach of course, I'm not arguing that you must. But don't believe that your experiences are explained by "me…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 11:25 PM
13

May I ask why it is exactly you came to the assumptions you did? Honestly I can't even imagine a guy having that sort of inner monologue you described, it's simply antithetical to how our minds work. I'm generalizing of course but my point is that guys reading this find it humorous because of how wildly wrong it is. It's not just wrong, it's wrong in such an amusing direction that it's almost difficult to confront in seriousness. It would be like having to seriously debate someone over whether t…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 11:18 PM
14

The Third Reich must have empathy for Jews.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/07/24 11:58 PM
4

Intelligence is a human trait. Not even just human, for that matter. All sorts of creatures demonstrate it. It's silly and just wrong to say it's a feminine (or masculine) trait.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 06:33 PM
1

That's a good question. I don't bring it up on a first date of course, only after we've gotten to know each other better and often after we're "official". The kind of people who would take grave exception to it are often people I wouldn't be very compatible with for other reasons, so it's a trait that's somewhat organically selected for, by proxy. Most people have taken it fine actually. One didn't like it at first, but after I explained my position and the potential issues it would circumvent, …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/24 04:29 PM
1

You've stated it, not spelled out or given good arguments. Look I can see you're not interested in having a good faith debate or considering other opinions, so I'm going to head out. Have a good one my friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 04:58 PM
1

Okay you're actually just trying to get a rise out of me lol. I've spelled out clearly how it's not about trust but you're refusing to read or engage substantively with my points. You're like a chatbot from the 90s.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 04:09 PM
1

I think I've demonstrated that the micro is a step towards the macro. The whole "just go to CVS and test yourself" isn't a solution, it has to be done by a 3rd party, for the reasons I and others have said. That means either at the hospital or at a court ordered testing facility. At which point much of the damage is done. Thus the only tenable solution is at the hospital. And if the only tenable solution to such a widespread issue is that, it makes sense for that to become standard. I saw in ano…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 02:12 PM
3

Alright man, I was just trying to be helpful is all
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 01:49 PM
4

Woah, what? I'm just trying to help 2 strangers having a miscommunication lol. I'm not talking about anyone facilitating anyone else getting laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 01:36 PM
5

I see what's happening. You and the person you're taking to are getting your contexts mixed up. The argument they're trying to make is that the women giving advice or talking about dating friends vs strangers flirting are the ones downplaying the importance of attraction within those contexts, not that women in general are. Reading down thread I think you guys have gotten lost in the weeds a bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 01:20 PM
1

I'm not sure if you're trying to intentionally provoke me, or if you simply lack the cognitive faculties to understand the words I'm using. As I've said before, multiple times, that's false. I don't have a babymama. I'm not scared of a babymama. I've already made clear that I tell every person I date that I'm going to have them test at the hospital regardless. So this is a moot point for me personally. It has nothing to do with me. I hope that was simple enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 04:19 AM
1

You're just trying to not understand at this point lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 08:05 PM
1

Okay, that's a starting place. It's not that men can't do that. It's that it doesn't solve most the issues at hand. A. At that point, he is already on the birth certificate. B. A private test doesn't "mean" anything. It's not admissible in court and can't be used for anything. C. If/when the mother finds out, she is likely to be livid. This is one I think you're getting caught up on. You're right, that is technically between those two. But the problem is that this is such an extremely common pro…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 05:05 PM
–

I don't have a babymama, nor trust issues. The problem is that you are fundamentally missing the point, and have framed it to be about trust or cowardice. Look, do you want to understand the other side, or just want to be "right"? It seems you have emotional investment in the topic. It's not about me or any other individual. It's about a societal dynamic.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 04:47 PM
1

If you can’t man up This is a very misandrist phrase you keep using. If you can't "woman up" and use empathy to understand the issues at hand, that's on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 04:41 PM
4

Do you like having roads? Police departments? Fire departments? Would you prefer those are funded privately? I'm sure you'll make the argument that those are different, but now we're talking different by degree, not category. Medical care should be a basic human right. How would you feel if your partner asked to do a paternity test? I've seen many here say they would immediately leave them for that, for not trusting them. And therein lies the issue. It's a nonstarter for so many women. If having…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 12:50 AM
2

You're both massively downplaying the many complications men face - most of which you likely don't even realize - and massively exaggerating the whole shaving thing. Nobody expects or even wants you to be completely hairless on your entire body. Pits and legs? Yeah maybe. Pubes, possibly. That's about it. I've never dated someone who shaved their face and arms and chest and back and stomach and everywhere else. I would think they had a mental illness if they did. And they certainly didn't shave …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 03:34 AM
1

With all due respect, if you think shaving and putting on makeup are such impositions as to make dating unfair *for women*, you really have no clue what the male experience of dating is like. That argument is like white folks in the 1950's complaining that blacks have everything so easy because they don't have to wear sunscreen. That's not to minimize the civil rights movement, but just to illustrate how lacking in perspective this take is regarding what it's like to date as a man. Or if you don…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 12:49 AM
8

Honestly, I don't know how you would have expected anything less. I think they've been explicitly clear in showing their character for a very long time. I don't say this as a dig against you, but you're asking to not be alienated from a movement that categorically doesn't care about you. *At best* doesn't care, and very often worse than that. You also make the mistake of believing they are egalitarian, when by definition they are not.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/07/24 04:31 AM
3

This is a pro-feminist community. It's in their rules. I'm pretty sure it's controlled opposition.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/07/24 12:23 AM
1

I think you misunderstand egalitarianism and the nature of equality. We are all equal in value. We are not all equal in capacity. Those are entirely different concepts, and unfortunately the conversation around equality is so often sabotaged by people conflating the two (I'm not accusing you of intentionally conflating them). from each according to their ability to each according to their needs I'm sure you do realize that your quote is from Karl Marx, yes? It is a central tenet of his philosoph…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/06/24 04:25 AM
4

Hey man. I may be reading too much into this, or perhaps even projecting some subconscious feelings of my own. But I get the feeling that you have been made to feel inferior by virtue of your station in life, be it by specific people or just by society broadly. And I hope it doesn't come across as patronizing when I say that I can tell you're more intelligent and rational-minded than the vast majority of people who may otherwise think themselves superior for their academic or vocational achievem…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/06/24 10:27 PM
10

Here's my take. Say we start a movement called Masculinism. And we insist it's purely about equality. How many people are going to be convinced of that? Any movement that seeks to achieve equality by pushing the pendulum is inherently flawed. It begets further pendulum-pushing. and completely ignores the crux of the issue that men and women (or whites/blacks, gays/straights, whatever) can suffer from inequalities in some contexts and privilege in other respects The only way forward is to throw o…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/06/24 02:25 PM
12

I think there's an important distinction between the ideology itself and people who identify with it. I don't think it's at all inaccurate to call feminism - in its modern form - a misandrist ideology. But there are certainly well-intentioned people who ascribe to it. The problem is that we don't have any organized egalitarian movement. So egalitarians are left somewhat without a home, and some of us are going to gravitate to movements that purport to be such. I think your sister can be a good p…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/06/24 02:16 PM
2

Yeah maybe he's Pol Pot also. Or Jack the Ripper. Or or maybe he's the corporeal manifestation of Freddy Krueger. There's just so many possibilities, we can't know for sure. And it's a lot more fun to speculate on things we're imagining he could be than to charitably interpret his words in good faith as if he's a normal, reasonable human. Wait... You're not Pol Pot, are you?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 04:34 PM
1

Hey man. Would you like to talk? It doesn't have to be about this stuff. But it can be. I've been through a lot, and I talk to others who have as well. You've got some wounds you've been carrying a long time, scars that need to be witnessed so they can begin to heal. But we could just shoot the shit instead, up to you. Just want you to know that despite that visceral, cold feeling of isolation and hopelessness you feel in your chest, that you aren't alone and aren't invisible.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 10:13 PM
11

You know what lol. "How to treat women as people and how to recognize their male privilege and toxic masculinity. Only through this can we exceed gender parity and have true equality."
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/06/24 12:43 AM
4

"Jordan Person DESTROYS pathetic woke leftists."
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/06/24 05:04 PM
21

"People like Andrew Tate only exist because of how acceptable misogyny is in society. We need to do a better job educating boys if we're ever going to start tackling misogyny." That's literally what they think. The very notion that they're the ones causing this is incompatible with their world views.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/06/24 05:01 PM
2

I totally sympathize. I can't stand the ignorant mindsets society shoves down our throats that objectify people. I always get a disappointed chuckle when I occasionally see people (not referring to anyone specific) in these pro-men's spaces (rightfully) talking about how society dehumanizes men, and then in the very next breath, reduce people to the sum of their productive output. Completely oblivious to the irony. Systemic misandry marches side by side with that weird toxic productivity grindse…
/r/MensRights09/06/24 12:23 AM
3

It's totally possible I'm an idiot or missing something obvious lol. 🙏 But all I'm seeing is that the context of equality they were talking about was equality of value. Knackwurst said "And yet held to be true in every culture for every conceivable meaning of "valuable".” , OP said "women are not more valuable", and you said "you believe in the rhetoric that "All people are equal". They aren't." and then started taking about capability rather than value. Am I just missing something?
/r/MensRights08/06/24 06:27 PM
5

and asserted your own, which is not the one that I used, making yours incorrect. ... That's literally what you did, man. That's what I was saying to you. The other person was using it in one context, and you were like "well actually..." And started taking about the other context. You assumed your own definition.
/r/MensRights08/06/24 06:06 PM
9

I think the problem here is you believe in the rhetoric that "All people are equal". They aren't. You're incorrect, and falling prey to either a semantic or conceptual misunderstanding. All people are equal. In value. Not all people are equal in capability. The notion of capability has no place in discussions of human value. It muddies the water, and implies a utilitarian mindset whereby people are only worth what they provide. Which is the very thing that has been foisted upon men and led to th…
/r/MensRights08/06/24 04:32 PM
34

Imagine if that hypothetical man was asking the question. "I'm old and lonely, what should I do?" Do you think the top answer would be "Find an attractive and financially vulnerable younger woman who is afraid for her future"?
/r/MensRights02/06/24 05:01 PM
2

Beautifully said. And the same applies to women, to every race, LGBT, and any other "group". The day we can collectively see people as individuals instead of as some social identity group is the day all bigotry and most hate ends. And you're right, we won't get there making the easiest choices in life. It warms my heart when I see people like you choosing the right way instead of the easy way. ♥️🙏
/r/MensRights23/05/24 12:03 AM
2

You seem like good people. Like you recognize that men are human and worthy of not being generalized by the worst of a gender, or being held to disadvantage just by virtue of existing. That alone is really all it takes. Keep being awesome ♥️
/r/MensRights22/05/24 08:34 PM
34

I think the fact that about 1/3 would pick bear is itself remarkable, in the opposite direction from the point you're making. Even considering the factors you mention, that's just wild.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/05/24 07:46 PM
5

Yeah, those darn 30 somethings didn't have the internet or dating sites 5 to 10 years ago. Wait yeah they did lol What you're saying is true for boomers and most of Gen X though.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 12:11 AM
2

This is a crazy person thing, not a liberal thing. Don't poison your mind with tribalism, my friend.
/r/MensRights22/05/24 12:05 AM
2

I get you. I'm biased in... Maybe not the "opposite" direction, but a perpendicular one from red/blue, without a ton of positive things to say about either. But for what it's worth, from someone who would call themselves a hard egalitarian and anti-feminist, you seem like a cool person capable of thoughtful and interesting conversation. The " anyway would love to hear your thoughts on all that" alone says a lot, and I respect that. Anyways, cheers! 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 01:23 AM
2

That... Was actually a refreshingly neutral, and in my estimation fair, breakdown. I had to double check what sub I was in. Have an upvote and a good day.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 12:50 AM
2

Lmao oh yeah I'd forgotten about this. It gave me a chuckle.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/24 02:30 AM
14

I appreciate you sharing this. You seem like a very mature, open minded, and kind person. I'm sorry for the struggles you've gone through with your disability. For what it's worth, it seems like those struggles may have made you a stronger, healthier person in the ways that actually count, in ways that many able-bodied people cannot keep up with, as your post demonstrates. Keep being awesome!
/r/MensRights30/01/24 08:54 PM
4

So when male characters are overpowered and women are portrayed as ditzy, boy crazy, bimbos, I assume I'll be able to find a lot of threads here complaining about that? Specifically this sub? No, probably not. Because that wouldn't come up much. The topic underpinning the phenomenon is what people in this sub are discussing, and the media aspect is an example of that. You're caught up in the surface and not seeing the subtext, man. Again, men have real actual problems in this world. I don't care…
/r/MensRights15/11/23 03:48 AM
19

You're either misunderstanding or mischaracterizing what people's issue actually is. Nobody sane has a problem with female leads. It's poorly written Mary Sue characters, male characters written to be insultingly stupid and incompetent, patronizing and pandering, and an utter inability to understand what actual strength looks like that makes people hate these movies. Women deserve far better role models than this. People of both sexes do. If it was just female leads, people would be hating on Ri…
/r/MensRights14/11/23 08:53 PM
2

Nah it's just a comment I made. It's not that deep.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 05:36 AM
2

Wow you're right. I never knew the solution to complex psychological and sociological issues compounded by the myriad unique and personal complications people have is to just go sit at the bar and drink beer. I used to think Barney from the Simpsons was just a drunkard loser, but now I see that he was actually exploring his aspirations and emotions and values and discovering true self-actualization at the bottom of those bottles.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 10:49 PM
3

"It's not that deep" almost always means "don't talk about or question what I'm talking about or questioning." The only time I think that really works is when it's an offhand joke that someone didn't mean anything by. This guy clearly means a lot by it. He has weirdly strong opinions about people who are doing him no harm. He might not be a deep thinker, but the sentiment is certainly deeply rooted lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 10:42 PM
3

I have nothing but contempt and disgust for people who struggle and choose to wallow in filth rather than make something of their lives. "Choose." This is the problem I'm talking about. You're viewing a situation you don't understand and passing judgment on it from ignorance. You believe people are choosing to be struggling. You base this on the premise that "it's easy to do X", without taking into account that it's easy for you to do X, under your current conditions. I can guarantee that the ki…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 10:39 PM
2

Right? I don't get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 10:28 PM
2

Who is spreading misery? Since when were we talking about trolls or misogynists or whatever person you're imagining? The conversation is about people with small social circles who are struggling to meet others. Why demonize people for being lonely?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 10:27 PM
6

I'm saying that you speak of these people like they shit in your corn flakes. I'll never understand how a person can hold such disdain for others who aren't harming anyone, and especially when that disdain is focused on how someone is struggling. It's the kind of mentality behind those people who will spit on a homeless person and scream "get a job, lazy bum!", when they aren't even panhandling, just existing. We're all on our own paths, man. There's going to be things you're better at than othe…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 08:35 PM
7

Shh it'll be okay. These hypothetical struggling people can't hurt you.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 07:58 PM
7

Man, unfortunate typo in your title. But yes, it's easily refuted. You can find studies showing this in a few seconds on Google.
/r/MensRights12/10/23 06:53 PM
15

You make a great point. Just not the point you're trying to make.
/r/MensRights10/10/23 08:46 PM
1

Egalitarianism is at best an aspiration All ideas are aspirations. To do anything, we must aspire. And if we're going to aspire, we ought to aspire in the right direction. If you're calling it merely an aspiration because it cannot be perfectly practiced with perfect precision in a practical world, then I would argue exactly zero philosophies, or even ideas, pass your test. Nothing in your life is the platonic ideal of that thing. never at any point is it intrinsically valuable Is anything intri…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 10:15 PM
0

Well yeah? We also have no idea if she's actually a Russian spy or a serial killer or a cult leader or any number of things lol. What we have is her account, so anything we can say on the subject has to be within the context of that. Within that context, she had a douche bf and a good bf. One happened to be ugly and the other was not. That's just as likely as the other way around. I honestly don't get the skepticism, her experience isn't a statement about ugly people in general. Though her "I hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 08:04 PM
1

Feminism is not egalitarianism. I'm assuming you're confusing the two. Nobody is or can actually be an egalitarian. That's just demonstrably false. I can't even imagine where you got that idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 07:57 PM
3

Thank you, I appreciate the link! I'm curious where you got the 6'3-6'5 figure. According to the study you linked, the mean preferred height for men is 179-180 cm across the cultures studied, which is about 5'10" and a half to 5'11". Which is actually a little less than I thought. My apologies if I missed something.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 01:51 PM
7

3+ is a high count now? Man, what a time to be alive.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 01:11 PM
4

I'm pretty sure that only applies when making assumptions about people. She literally said one of them was manipulative and cheated on her, and the other didn't lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 01:10 PM
4

I'd love to see a link to that study you're referencing, if you can find it. My understanding is that the most "preferred" height is typically considered 6 foot. Given that average female height is 5'4", this would track with your 8 inches figure. Perhaps you got your numbers mixed around and/or forgot there's 12 inches to a foot.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 01:06 PM
3

You're absolutely correct. But the cure for this isn't to sink to their level. It's to be the change we want to see. Egalitarianism is the way out of this gender war bullshit. I understand your frustration, but we shouldn't mud wrestle with pigs. We both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 12:55 PM
11

I'm pretty sure an ordered relationship with food precludes becoming unhealthy. Staying healthy is not a bad thing. What a strange take.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 12:51 PM
1

Yep, exactly. The root behind nearly every toxic ideology, sexism, racism, homophobia, bigotry, tribalism, etc, is purely the mental framework to see people in terms of class membership rather than as individual humans, and to let that inform your decision making. I think the only way out of the gender war, identity politics, victimhood olympics hellscape we've created is to fight against that class membership framework as a whole.
/r/MensRights17/09/23 03:19 PM
1

Kudos to you for being sure to frame it as the thoughts/actions of a specific person. I see far too often people over generalize while speaking in absolutes. "Women think X", "men do Y", etc. I wish more people exercised your precision of speech.
/r/MensRights17/09/23 02:08 PM
10

Sorry, got bo Sorry, I stopped reading after this. I don't know what bo is but cool story. Try to wrap it up faster next time though.
/r/MensRights17/09/23 01:32 PM
1

u/neverendingplush you going to admit you're wrong now or just run away?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 10:21 PM
–

Because dumb shit I WAS ALREADY ALIVE. You know, that thing I literally said in the comment you're replying to? I get it, it's hard to read between the lines and imagine things especially abstract concepts on the internet How the fuck is my mom having more dates going to make me not alive when I was born more than 20 years ago? How the fuck can you call me dumb shit when you didn't even understand a word of what I said? Look in a mirror, comb your broccoli head hair, and give me my damn delta cu…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 10:02 PM
–

If tinder existed 20 years ago ,most of us wouldn't exist today. Okay so, let's just ignore for a second how bad your argument is, and focus on your claim. Most of us wouldn't exist if tinder existed 20 years ago? I get that you might be a child, but most people are not children. Most people were born more than 20 years ago, including most people in this sub. How would tinder being created result in someone already alive going back in time and not being born? Your claim is clearly and demonstrab…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 08:26 PM
2

Tangential and well-intentioned corrective here, I don't think egalitarian is "on the fence". It's not between 2 sides of the same coin. It's a different coin. (That said I don't think MRA is truly equivalent to feminism, but that's a whole other topic so for the sake of discussion let's go with your premise) Despite my rather strong negative feelings about modern feminism, I do believe a fair amount - perhaps a substantial minority - of feminists are actually egalitarians without a home. I thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 01:03 AM
3

Egalitarian is best -itarian
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 12:46 AM
1

I know what they were saying, by virtue of being able to read, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 10:08 PM
1

He did
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 09:22 PM
1

Not sure why you're asking me. I was just clarifying what someone else was saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 09:18 PM
7

I'm sorry you're going through this. You're not alone. Hang in there, friend.
/r/MensRights10/09/23 05:35 PM
5

I'm pretty sure he's saying he would like a more equitable distribution of choice/agency/leverage (however you want to interpret it). Not that women shouldn't be able to choose.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 05:14 PM
4

If I'm understanding you correctly, it feels like you're looking for a gender based, consummate theory to explain specifically male-on-gay male violence. And I don't believe one exists with any solid foundation. Not everything can be explained under these terms. The fact is, some people want to hurt others. That's a universal fact we have to accept. That doesn't mean that we as a society have to accept that behavior. Doesn't mean we have to like it or tolerate it. And it doesn't mean we can't lo…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/09/23 08:42 PM
15

Evil and homophobic people exist independent of feminism. Two things can be true at the same time. We can acknowledge an ideology's role in the worsening of society without blaming that ideology for every unrelated interaction between people.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/09/23 06:02 PM
3

You're very welcome ♥️ Yikes, it definitely sounds like you could use a vacation if you're looking forward to a dentist appointment 3 months from now! And yeah, I totally agree. Nobody's opinion or ideas is less valid simply by virtue of their sex. We need to welcome all good-faith thoughts here, whether we agree with them or not. Sunshine is the best disinfectant, and a constructive dialogue is vital to not turn into an echo chamber. I'm sorry about your endo and experiences in healthcare, I ho…
/r/MensRights02/09/23 07:27 PM
2

Oof I feel that. And no problem, I just saw that you were at -5 when I commented, and I really hate when people use the downvote button on reasonable comments as a "I disagree/don't like this" button, without even engaging the person. It's wrong when feminists (or anyone else) do that crap, and it's just as wrong for us to do it. And honestly you worded it fine
/r/MensRights02/09/23 05:08 PM
1

I think you accidentally responded in the wrong post, my dude
/r/MensRights02/09/23 03:12 PM
6

Guys let's stop downvoting this comment please. Yeah her examples weren't particularly great arguments, but she's not really making or defending an argument, just answering the question. It's not her fault that there isn't a lot of great examples to speak of other than historical and Middle Eastern contexts, and she did acknowledge the flip side of it as well. That's a good comment that answers OP's question about as well as anyone could ask.
/r/MensRights02/09/23 01:18 PM
26

an average man that doesn’t bring anything to the table An average woman would absolutely partner with an average man who meets her expectations/standards. Here's the slight of hand. You're saying "an average man" and then dividing it by women's expectations. If an average person doesn't meet someone's expectations, they expect more than average. That's what average means. You can't no-true-scotsman the definition of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 04:31 PM
7

😂 Great satire, for a second I thought you were actually serious
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 03:47 PM
1

Np, happens to the best of us
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 02:47 AM
1

Just heads up, I think you meant to say "A". None of your comment makes sense if you prefer B lol
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 01:37 AM
12

You mistake understanding for caring, I'm afraid
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/08/23 09:40 PM
7

The narcissist's mantra, I've heard it called.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/08/23 08:08 PM
39

Use paragraph breaks, my friend. They will serve you well. In my experience, these kind of people usually don't technically deny that misandry exists. Rather, they either dismiss it as insignificant or have the attitude of "good, now men get to see what it's like. In a few dozen centuries of it we'll be even." Or they'll say "misandry just hurts feelings, misogyny kills." It's a sisyphean feat to get them to see people as individuals and egalitarianism as the way forward. Pearls before swine, an…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/08/23 07:37 PM
2

Weight has been used as a way to dehumanize people in a way that height has not You sure about that?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 03:35 PM
2

Tbf, "the vast majority" is not all women. I agree that most women have height preferences, but you said "all" and the other person rightly said that's incorrect lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 03:31 PM
1

Nice
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 03:48 AM
1

Well quite frankly, if anyone actually thinks women deserve violence for being rude or responding unfavourably to their advances, that person is a moron. To put it lightly. However, amiably for some men means polite, while for some it means acceptance of those advances. I have no way of knowing what definition they are operating with I think the "reasonable person" metric should be applied here. No reasonable person can argue that you need to accept their advances. I think most reasonable people…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 06:45 PM
1

If it makes you feel any better, I'm in this dating culture and it is still just as mind boggling to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 05:43 PM
–

You said The protection of a stranger's feelings will never take precedence over my personal safety. That implies a relationship between the two. That caring about someone's feelings comes at the cost of safety. If you said that in error, I understand. But if what you're saying is that being rude doesn't make you safer, then your safety is irrelevant to the topic. Not that it's not also important, but that it has no relationship. It seems your motivation for being rude would be better phrased "b…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 05:01 PM
–

You're still making my question something it's not. I'm not talking about expectations or your interests. I'm not making some political/gender-war statement. My flair is "no pill" for a reason. I was expressing curiosity of and interest in your beliefs. It appears you believe that being rude to men who try to talk to you keeps you safe, or more safe than just a neutral, polite stance. My question was just literally by what mechanism does that work. There will always be people who are mean, even …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 04:26 PM
3

Women can act stupid too. Neither sex has a monopoly on idiocy.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 03:33 PM
–

Thank you for this answer, and for providing a source for further reading. I appreciate you taking my question seriously. My intuition is that there's a risk/reward calculation to be had here. I suspect that this might discourage low-level assholes who aren't committed to doing harm, but I do think it would encourage the rarer but truly dangerous folks just looking for an excuse to hurt someone. But perhaps de Becker addresses that aspect.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 02:23 PM
–

You misunderstand what I mean. It feels like you're inserting a connotation or tone that I'm not intending. What I'm asking is, in what way does that ensure your safety? I'm not a rapist/stalker/mugger/etc, so I can't speak for them. But just knowing human nature, I would think that would make you less safe. If I'm confronted by a guy that wishes me harm, and I don't feel I could win in a fight, de-escalation is the much safer choice
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 01:05 PM
–

That's the same kind of attitude that got society into this state. Maybe the world would be better if people - men and women - treated each other like normal humans?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 12:11 PM
–

Just curious because I've always been confused with this argument. Say there is someone who doesn't have your safety in mind. Do you believe treating them harshly or humiliating them would make it less likely they would do you harm? I get that you don't know the good from the bad. I don't get why that would compel you to encourage bad behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 12:08 PM
4

OP is a girl
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 09:59 AM
6

I agree, it's a vicious cycle. I don't think what I said fails to account for those experiences, I think it speaks to "where do we go from here?" I believe the issue at hand can be summed up as follows: Women do not want to be approached by people they aren't attracted to. Many women have experienced a bad actor acting aggressively. Many take that experience and apply it in the other 98% of cases with non bad actors, leading to them assuming bad intentions. Women generally want men to take the r…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 06:03 PM
13

I'm pretty sure not wanting to be mocked, ridiculed, or labeled predatory simply for approaching is a fair and reasonable expectation, much more so than expecting someone to read your mind. You had to have thought this when you typed it out lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 04:21 PM
8

"Why do you continue trying to be human instead of just accepting you will live and die alone?" Because that's the alternative.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 04:10 PM
–

You misunderstand my point. Getting 2 interested glances from attractive women at a single party would be the highlight of most guy's week or month, but you see it was an example of how little attention you got. My point with the boyfriend isn't just that you're not single, it's also that most people are going to be more mindful of checking someone out when that person's boyfriend is right there. I'm not saying you get hit on 24/7, and I agree that the reports of constant harassment and unwanted…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 02:53 PM
0

Why do you censor random words like that? It makes it more difficult to read, and detracts from the seriousness of your message.
/r/MensRights03/08/23 01:22 PM
–

You got "only" two interested glances from good looking men at a single party? While having a boyfriend? And this is the anecdote you choose to illustrate how invisible you think you are? You really don't even have a frame is reference for what it's like on the other side, do you?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 12:06 AM
0

I'm sure there's some truth in that too. People are not a monolith. But it still comes down to numbers. If you want to swim with the dolphins, go to the beach that is only 20% full of sharks, not 95% full of sharks.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 08:41 PM
7

I agree. I also like validation. Guys absolutely would seek it, if they could get it as easily as women. But they would not then complain about getting so much attention. Either you can seek attention, or you can complain about it. You don't get to do both.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 08:39 PM
2

They aren't the ones complaining about being overwhelmed with messages. Also, you fundamentally don't understand what it's like to date as a guy. Guys necessarily have to swipe more than women, because guys get fewer matches. Significantly fewer. You would feel very depressed if you swapped places. But that aside, point is, if women are complaining about too many matches, just swipe less. Why must men be responsible for not matching with you, when you swiped on them? That doesn't even make sense…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 08:30 PM
9

So that you're not overwhelmed with messages? The thing people are complaining about? And because the people you've matched with are human beings, and if you're not capable of handling that many conversations, the moral thing is to not match with them. That's true for either sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 06:42 PM
5

Everyone knows that. So... Why not swipe less and wait for them to roll in? You control how many matches you get.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 05:39 PM
2

Yeah, that makes total sense. We (men) are so used to seeing (in society, and especially this sub) women saying that physical compliments and sexual attention aren't validating, and that men are the lucky ones for not getting that attention in general. It always feels very insulting and entitled and very hard to believe. So it's rather refreshing to see someone tell it like it is. I appreciate hearing your perspective, and here's an upvote for being real
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 05:30 PM
0

There really is a consensus that it's more aimed at casual dating and hookups compared to Hinge or Bumble or Okcupid or Match or the myriad other sites. Yes, some people go there looking for something serious. But what they find is a lot of people looking for something more casual. By her own admission, that's what 95% of the people on there were looking for. If 95% of people use product X for reason Y, it's safe to say product X is primarily used for reason Y. No?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 05:01 PM
1

I get you, I'm not trying to say you're hating men or anything. Maybe I'm not articulating myself clearly enough. My intent isn't to attack you, I'm more commenting on the general notion of people seeking attention and validation (which at least you're honest about), using apps catered towards hookup culture, swiping on lots of profiles, and then complaining about being overwhelmed with messages and/or guys just trying to get in their pants. I think those people would have a better experience by…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 04:56 PM
-1

Yes, and it's primarily for, and used by, people looking for casual dating and hookups. That's common knowledge. Even by her own admission, that's what 95% of people were looking for. So... My point stands.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 03:52 PM
1

Fair play for being honest about looking for attention and validation lol. But what I meant was, it feels like you were annoyed by how many guys were looking for hookups, and I don't think a person can right be annoyed by that when they're using an app focused primarily around casual things, and are looking for attention. Those things don't make sense together, know what I mean? It's like you're hating the posters, and then saying don't hate the player hate the game. Yeah, of course some people …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 03:50 PM
5

Truly, an embarrassment of riches.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 02:11 PM
19

Why not swipe less? You control how many matches you get.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 02:08 PM
-1

Why would you be on Tinder if that's not your intention? There are apps for people looking for serious long term things. There are apps for people looking for hookups. You joined the latter and got bothered by people using the app how people have always used that app? That's entirely on you, boo.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 02:07 PM
8

Ugh this argument again. Positions of power aren't "held by men". They're held by people overly privileged by money and influence, and most of them also happen to be male. The other 99% of men do not benefit from this. They are not on our team. Them being male is as relevant as them being blond or brunette or tall or short. The other 99% of men do not hold any more power than women. Do you know what positions are held primarily, and often almost exclusively, by men? Construction workers, brick l…
/r/MensRights31/07/23 12:45 AM
1

I mean I don't entirely disagree, but your examples are more just transactional than predatory. Your premises don't support your conclusion. Feminists are wrong for painting them as predatory, but one bad argument doesn't counter another.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/23 01:55 PM
1

Listen man. I'm sorry for the people who hurt you. I really am. You didn't deserve what they did to you. I just felt you needed to hear that. I get it. I really really do. And as someone who has been abused, cheated, and fucked over many times, I can tell you, the way out of this shit is the other direction. When you give in to pure cynicism, when you adopt simplistic black and white thinking, it creates this feedback loop of misery. You deserve to be happy again. The first step is in being bett…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/23 12:34 PM
1

You're correct, a couple of them did.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/23 12:14 PM
–

Experience in what regard? Cheating? You'd be correct, I've never cheated on my girlfriends. I'm not a piece of shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/23 10:02 AM
–

I honestly can't tell what is satire vs genuinely insane in this sub anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/23 04:56 AM
1

I think that's true to some extent. I think, like in many other metrics, men are more diverse and tend to occupy the ends of the bell curve more. But it cuts both ways, and I've seen far more men saying very supportive things of the other gender than the other way around. I also think though that the more "banal", casual sexism against men has become so normalized, the Overton Window so shifted, that our perceptions of it are skewed and that "extreme" misandry is invisible. If you look at songs,…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 12:16 PM
2

Respectfully, it sounds like you're more of an egalitarian/humanist than a feminist then, just as I am. But I'm not here to argue semantics lol. But here’s the thing, I highly recommend not criticizing anyone unless you feel you absolutely have to because criticism comes across as negative and bashing. For sure. I have a general philosophy I try to adhere to: Be critical of ideas, not people. After all, there's a reason this person has come to believe what they do. Only by understanding that can…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 12:59 AM
2

I know that you do that because you're a considerate person, but I am still sorry that society has made you feel compelled to do so. I mean, the extent to which it's informed by your skin color and sex, beyond just not wanting to startle someone in general. I believe "male privilege" is utter bollocks, but "white privilege" is definitely real to some degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 12:45 AM
1

Oh alright. My apologies if I misunderstood your tone!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 12:35 AM
2

Uhhh yeah? I mean that's obvious lol. I'm not sure what that has to do with the topic though.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 09:22 PM
–

Oh geeze I just saw their comment history. Yikes...
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 07:50 PM
2

You make an interesting point, that because women don't experience the same level of bullying, that they aren't inoculated against criticism early. My boss is a male with an extremely fragile ego. He was an only child and had a doting mother. This would track with what you're saying. The counter-argument I can see is that many people who were bullied also grow up with a victimhood complex and also can't take criticism. Ultimately I think adversity is the biggest factor, but it's almost "sink or …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 07:43 PM
–

It's incredibly disturbing that you cannot understand the difference between saying "this isn't oppression" and "men are entitled to women's bodies" or whatever. You're strawmanning what this person is saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 07:03 PM
11

I think the difference is that those are blamed on the individual by institutions and a (not insignificant) minority of closed minded people. The majority of individuals even in America can recognize that the system is busted. That's an element not found in dating, especially in blue pill or mainstream narratives.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 06:57 PM
0

Either you're intentionally misunderstanding me, or you're not even capable of having a conversation on the topic. Implying I'm a rapist because I said it's inaccurate and harmful to label women as "prey" is next level bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 04:21 AM
1

What you see as progress, I see as a lateral move. Lateral at best. It gives, I believe, the impression of progress. Because it moves the needle forward on one axis, and backwards on others. It's not that I take the message personally, it's that saying "women are prey" is the wrong message. It's us vs them. I hate that tribalism shit, because it is the false friend of progress. The way forward is the path of love, understanding, cooperation, empathy. You don't get there by implying half the popu…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 02:04 AM
3

I wasn't writing off their fears as unfounded. My mom was raped. A late-girlfriend of mine was raped. She killed herself shortly after. It was deeply traumatizing to me, and I thought I had articulated that clearly. It's not something I take lightly. It's for that reason I also feel strongly against making blanket statements and absolutes. It's so abhorrent to me that I cannot abide by the notion of it getting diluted. To say "women are prey" dilutes it. To imply "men are predators" dilutes it. …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 01:42 AM
1

My feelings are not irrelevant, and you do a disservice to your argument to say as much. My feelings are just as valid as yours. I'm a human too, thank you. If you read my message again, more carefully, you'll find I agree with what they were saying insofar as comfort goes. There's a reason I snipped/quoted the paragraph I was commenting on, to make it clear I was commenting on that notion specifically, as a general theme in society. It had nothing to do with me dating anyone or me getting anyon…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 01:32 AM
11

Men just don’t think about any of the things women pay attention to for vigilance…women are prey in this world I hate this notion so damn much, because it automatically assumes and asserts that men are defacto predators. To make the statement that women are prey is to tell me I'm a predator. I have never preyed upon a woman. And naturally then the response is "okay maybe not you, maybe "not all men", but... And that gets us nowhere. Everyone's feelings are valid, and if women, generally, feel li…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/23 08:28 PM
1

Can you link to these studies you're referring to?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 03:35 AM
12

Honestly I think the fact that you're able to say that here, and not get banned or even downvoted to oblivion is kind of evidence that they aren't nearly the same kind of thing.
/r/MensRights18/06/23 06:29 PM
3

I would not call 70 pounds overweight minimal health consequences. That's half a person you're carrying around. 200 pounds is not the line of jeopardizing health. That's well into morbid obesity.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 03:39 PM
2

Thank you for your support. I'm sorry for what you've gone through, my friend. Wishing you love and continued healing ♥️
/r/MensRights17/06/23 01:28 PM
3

Which is the only fitting response to such low effort, reaching, aimless bitterness being shouted into the void. When some deranged, soy-pilled little boy starts frothing at the mouth trying to put people down out of nowhere, it's obvious he's driven by insecurities. Actual "warriors, the doers, the hard-workers, the builders" have better shit to do than to log onto reddit, go to PPD (during the one safe week a year), and seethe in such histrionics. Hence, projection. This tool ain't shit, homie…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 03:58 AM
15

I see you've opened with the "I am rubber, you are glue" defense. But just didn't have it in ya to not copy-paste, huh? I get it. Hard work is hard. And it's just easier to throw shit at others. But easy times make soft men. You can only coast downhill. You can be better than this. You owe it to the thousands of men who lived and died and fucked and passed on their genes to make you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 12:30 AM
32

A case study in projection. Hang in there, man. I know you have a lot of work ahead of you, but you'll get through this. I believe in you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 12:25 AM
–

Yeah I totally get you. It's best used as a tool for growth and self-understanding, recognizing your strengths and weaknesses, and as a model to help make sense of interpersonal dynamics. Some people make it their whole identity unfortunately. I do personally find it to be a useful model that has led to a greater understanding, and I definitely have much more in common with others of my type. But at the end of the day, it is only a model and isn't meant to define you. If you decide to look into …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 11:57 PM
–

I just replied to another comment you left, and this saw this. And I think you might actually be me. You keep saying rational things I not only already think, but in basically the same words I would say them. This is an experience I'm not used to in this sub. It's almost uncanny. Total shot in the dark here, but are you by chance an INFJ? If you're not familiar with MBTI, disregard this probably strange sounding question lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 11:20 PM
5

Yep, we have observed the very same thing. I tried to keep my phrasing fairly neutral, but I do find it far more frustrating on that side. Because like you said, the red pill trolls (that is, the trolls who also happen to be RP) are easy to spot and easy to ignore. They're just here to shitpost. They don't make the effort to appear in good faith. When I argue with one of these guys, they just call me a cuck and that's that. But the BP trolls I find far more annoying. Because they try to use plau…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 11:04 PM
2

Excellent question, I hope she answers. I asked something similar earlier as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 06:29 PM
10

Dan Carlin is amazing. The best non-historian historian out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 06:01 PM
3

Well, for the first part of your question, it is that way by design. Many people mistake PPD as a free speech sub, and that couldn't be further from the truth. Fair enough, I respect your candor. But I do try to remove obviously bad faith actors and ask that you report them as you see them. Is purely arguing in bad faith against the rules? Because I see that constantly, much more than incivility. There's a few people here, and one in particular, who seem to make this their entire personality. In…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 05:55 PM
4

Has anyone's arguments here meaningfully changed your mind about anything related to red v blue pill, and if so what specifically?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 05:10 PM
4

Why is the modding here one of the most heavy handed of all subreddits, and why is it still one of the least good-faith debate subs? I'm sure there are worse out there, but I've not seen them. I wonder if there's a chicken and egg type situation between the moderation style and member conduct here, similar to the American criminal justice system. (Not a perfect analogy, just for sake of illustration.) What are your thoughts on this?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 04:55 PM
–

Honestly I haven't noticed any difference in the quality. If anything it feels a little less annoying, just because the shitposts aren't trying to hide behind a pretense of plausible deniability. The actual conversations themselves are no more or less toxic.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 01:26 PM
1

I'm over here disavowing as hard as I can, chief. Nobody cares. Tbh most left/center-left people disavow that shit. We're just shouted over by a loud minority of misandrist blue-haired harpies. Just like you're shouted over by maga-tard bigots.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 11:18 AM
2

You took the words from my mouth.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 11:12 AM
4

It's really not. It's a strawman. No sane person thinks people owe them a gf or sex. No sane person thinks sex is a need in the same way food or water is. Most sane people agree it's a non-survival need in the same way friendship or love or harmony is.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 11:12 PM
3

What I hate about comments like this is that they're so obvious and yet miss the point entirely. I agree with everything you said, in the way you said it. And all of it was useless and weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 10:44 PM
2

Partly true, but that was also before widespread birth control as we have today, and only 2 years after Roe v Wade. So the dynamics are pretty different now (notwithstanding recent regressive legislative idiocy). To say nothing of the multitudes of men who promise the moon before and during pregnancy, then are no where to be found directly afterward or a couple years later when they can't take it anymore. Like I said, there needs to be systems in place to prevent this, such as time windows after…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 05:20 PM
1

Actually I think it would have the opposite effect. It would encourage more thoughtful family planning. As it is now, women know that she will likely still be financially supported were there a mismatch of intentions. A woman can choose to keep a child from a man who has no intention of being a real father. But if there is no financial incentive, women would likely be choosier, and less likely to get pregnant by deadbeats. Obviously there needs to be a robust system in place to prevent one sided…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 03:42 PM
-4

What do you base this on? Because that's factually not true.
/r/MensRights08/06/23 01:27 PM
4

"You don't see women as real HuMaNs!"
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 10:11 AM
1

Thank you <3 What do you feel is problematic about their methodology? It's a lot of things that build into a larger issue, but my main contention is that the way they define terms, and collect and publish data leads to sloppy and less meaningful numbers. For example, from their own link "1 in 5 women and nearly 1 in 59 men have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime, defined as penetrating a victim by use of force or through alcohol/drug facilitation" The number people take…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 09:58 PM
1

We can recognize that receiving unwanted dickpics is not good, while also acknowledging that rape is a lot worse. I agree, but we undermine it all when placing it under the same umbrella, especially calling both "violence". I've seen real violence. I've seen things that are gut wrenching and life changing. Those things are not in the same ballpark, not even the same planet as receiving unwanted pictures. For an analogy, we can recognize that torture, genocide, and littering are all bad things. T…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 05:12 PM
15

No disrespect to you, and I don't want to make light of such a horrible experience that nobody deserves to be put through. But if you look at the methodology of that research, it's flawed to the point of being outright inaccurate, and in my opinion, does a disservice to people who have been legitimately victimized. Multiple loved ones of mine have been victims of such violence, including family members and a former partner. And I myself have been. So when I see it watered down like this (by the …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 02:58 AM
6

Yep, almost perfectly put. The only (and admittedly small) correction I would make is that your #2 under the 80/20 rule appears to be pretty well backed by studies, at least in the way I'm interpreting how you wrote it (as in perceived to be above average attractiveness). Though if you're being very literal I can see the argument for placing it there. But I'm putting this under automod because overall this is a very true post and one of the most reasonable I've seen in a while. The problem you d…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 02:50 AM
1

Yep, almost perfectly put. The only (and admittedly small) correction I would make is that your #2 under the 80/20 rule appears to be pretty well backed by studies, at least in the way I'm interpreting how you wrote it (as in perceived to be above average attractiveness). Though if you're being very literal I can see the argument for placing it there. But I'm putting this under automod because overall this is a very true post and one of the most reasonable I've seen in a while. The problem you d…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 02:49 AM
2

True. The heavy lifting one I think is relatively reasonable though. If I'm significantly larger and more powerful than my partner, I'm not going to expect her to be able to do an equal amount of physical work as I can. Honestly I'm even okay being the designated spider-deporter, plumber, and handyman, if it means not being financially and emotionally objectified.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 06:57 PM
1

Off the top of my head, I would say financial objectification is a big one. You could argue emotional objectification as well. These are both things many men feel subjected to.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 06:35 PM
1

I take back what I said about your intelligence. I concede that you have thoroughly proven me wrong, and your reputation here is well earned. Have a blessed day.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 09:49 PM
1

Sooo... What evidence do you have for the claim you made? In case it's not obvious, I'm trying to get you to see and acknowledge what you do. And every time, you deflect and twist words and conveniently forget the things people have said. Listen, I'm someone who highly values good faith. And I'm someone who highly values understanding people. And also resolution and harmony. All that adds together to make me frustrated, perplexed, and intellectually intrigued why you do this. Because I don't thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 09:28 PM
1

Did you read the thread? He relates her academic and professional accomplishments to her personal appearance throughout the thread. Yes I did. Did you read the claim you made that I'm talking about? You are claiming that he thinks women pursue education/career for the purpose of attracting men. That is entirely different than thinking an achievement is something they would find attractive. You see how those are two very different things, right? One is a motivation for doing something, the other …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 04:57 PM
1

What evidence do you have the OP changed the meaning of the post? No sensible person thinks that women live their lives to impress men. Spending thousands of dollars, spending 4+ years of hard work to go through college, just to look more desirable to men? Nobody in their right mind thinks that, and nothing in OP's post says or suggests that. If a woman mentions her academic and professional accomplishments, it’s because those things are important to her. If a man doesn’t care, he doesn’t care a…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 04:19 PM
1

Still waiting on your answer here. Have the integrity to either defend your point or admit when you were wrong. Don't be one of those people who throws poop and acts like they didn't when called out.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 03:46 PM
3

I agree he is quite clear. I will post you OP's own words, because you clearly struggle to understand them. The misunderstanding here is the projection that women do things just to get more attractive for men. No. Women pursue education and career first of all for themselves. > And this was never argued. I am only discussing how women perceive themselves once they attain education. Do men actually believe that women choose a career in order to impress men rather than to make a living and support…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 03:39 AM
2

That's an entirely different thing. I care a lot about my partner's success. Her victories are our victories. That doesn't mean I find her money or status attractive. In subs like this, mainly. I can link you posts if you would like. You can also find many comments in this post essentially saying the same. It's clear that these people believe that men who don't find a women's career an important metric to consider in dating are "just looking for sex" or are shallow. I don't frequent a lot of man…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 03:31 AM
2

omfg xD How many times do you need this explained? NOBODY is saying what you're accusing them of saying. I've explicitly made clear that neither I, nor anyone here, is making the claim or even suggestion that women pursue education and career to turn on men. Why the actual fuck can't you comprehend that? Do you honestly think people here are saying that or think that? Are you just so committed to not being proven wrong that you feel compelled to twist words in the weirdest ways? You keep blatant…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 02:35 AM
2

The thread is not about whether men care about the time or effort women put into their goals. It's about the attraction men feel for a woman's education or career. You're the one moving goalposts. Still not going to address the "less than human" part? Have more respect for your integrity than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 02:05 AM
2

... Okay? I do tell my partners that. What's your point?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 01:45 AM
2

Another huge strawman. Me not being attracted to a woman's career or education is not at all the same thing as me not caring about her efforts. Nor would I "spend her money and walk away" when she talks about her job. Come on, argue in good faith. And it sure as hell isn't me thinking she's less than human. You gonna address that part or pretend you didn't say that?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 01:43 AM
2

I'm not moving goalposts. The entire post is about education and career. Those are markers of money and status. Money and status are two things of the biggest things that a career can tell you about a person. And my sentence stands perfectly well without them. So if that's the part you want to pick out, fine. Consider this what I meant: That's an entirely different thing. I care a lot about my partner's success. Her victories are our victories. That doesn't mean I find her education or career at…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 01:40 AM
2

Ir sucks to hear men say they don’t care about what is important to women they want to date or claim to love. No one wants to be regarded as less than human. omg classic. Are you serious or trolling? Do you truly, seriously think not being attracted to a woman's career is the same as thinking she's less than human? That's one of your best strawmen yet, at least that I've seen in a while. You can't keep a straight face and pretend you're debating in good faith now, can you?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 01:33 AM
2

Damn. Hard to argue against that lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 01:20 AM
2

They aren’t venting They literally are. They say "It just sucks that I worked so hard for this degree, and men don't even care about it, it doesn't give me any leg up. Not that I did it for them, but you would think they would find it important." Women didn’t ask They literally did. I'm referring to the posts we see in this sub and others about women asking if men care and why men don't care, or venting that they don't care. And those posts are filled with men saying "We care about your values, …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 01:02 AM
1

No, what matters is the values she holds. A person working in a soup kitchen for free has different values than one who kicks puppies. Come on, you know that.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 12:57 AM
2

I don't think you understand. Women don’t care if you find their career attractive because they didn’t do it for you, they did it for themselves They do care. Look all over this thread, including your own comments. You yourself said "If a man meets a woman on an app and tells her “I’m uninterested in your education and your job” she’s going to block him." That's clearly caring lol. who isn’t invested in her success as much as his own That's an entirely different thing. I care a lot about my part…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 12:56 AM
1

I would question the direction she focuses that passion. If she's passionate about kicking puppies, we probably don't share the same moral values. Unless maybe they were Nazi puppies. Even then they're probably still kinda cute, idk. When I say I find passion attractive, I'm not referring to someone's passion for their job, but for the meaning they get out of it. Someone who is passionate about volunteering at a soup kitchen feeding the homeless is immensely more attractive than someone passiona…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 12:51 AM
3

You're describing my own feelings exactly. The things I find attractive in a person can often be correlated with having an education. Passion and intelligence are valuable to me. But while correlated, they aren't synonymous. There are plenty passionate and smart women without a high degree or prestigious career. Which is why I don't say that education or career is attractive to me. I say passion, intelligence, etc are attractive. That's kind of OP's point. He doesn't articulate it perfectly, but…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 12:44 AM
2

That… isn’t what they are doing. They are describing their lives in an attempt to find a man with similar interests or values I thought you'd say that, which is why I said the rest of that paragraph: "I've seen many posts in this sub about this, from women asking how much men care, or venting that men don't care. And the comments therein are filled with women saying that the kind of men who don't care are just shallow fuck boys looking for sex. This post is full of similar comments." Education a…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 12:35 AM
1

Yeah. I don't even know how I would find that more attractive. You might as well be describing what kind of car she drives. I'd be happy for her for finding something important to her. I would hope that she feels fulfilled. But it's not any more attractive to me. As I said in another comment, I do find passion attractive. But it's that passion itself, not her career or status.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 12:23 AM
3

Educated women aren’t dating uneducated men and don’t care what uneducated men think about them. My comment had nothing to do with the education level of men, nor what kind of men women are dating. Educated women aren’t dating men who believe her education and vocation are unimportant. That's just not true. Few guys actually care about education or vocation. You will find guys who say things similar to that. But when you investigate further, you find that what they're actually talking about are …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 12:20 AM
2

Did you read what I wrote, or stop right there? There isn’t an educated women on the planet who wants to live with someone who only values her for sex acts Here's what I said: because I'm almost the furthest thing from shallow you can find in a guy. I require deep connections with a person to really even be attracted to them. And yet I'm not attracted by career/money/status in the slightest bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 12:12 AM
7

That's not what OP is saying say at all, he's made that clear in many comments. Nobody here thinks women pursue personal goals to impress men. What he's saying is basically that many women believe that education or career (status, money, etc) are, or should be, more important to men than they are. It's like... I used to wrestle in high school. I won some medals. I didn't do it to impress girls. Because probably no girls give a darn about that. But if I believed they did, I might have been tempte…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 11:54 PM
9

Formal education says absolutely nothing about a person's character or wisdom. Thank you. Omg it's strange to me how many people here are confirming OP's point without realizing it, while trying to argue against it. Granted OP didn't articulate the point perfectly, but nonetheless it's clear what he's saying. Many women believe those things are (or should be) more important to men than they actually are.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 11:40 PM
4

You're just wrong and I take some offense to that. You're conflating two entirely different things. I see people as whole people. And while I hate the term, I'm apparently what some call "demisexual". I need to be attracted to a person's personality to really be attracted to them. And education, career, money, status, all of that means NOTHING to me. Nada. Zilch. I care about the actual person, not their ability to acquire material resources.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 11:35 PM
2

Okay so I had a chance to read through your links. While they do paint the picture of a somewhat more egalitarian social dynamic than my comment above suggests, I don't think they really contradict the crux of what I was saying. Overall they appear to be more focused on the contrast of social hierarchy to modern times. They seem to agree that labor was largely divided, and while there were female hunters, they were the rare exception. The following excerpt is from your 3rd link: Even so, subsequ…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 05:29 PM
2

Interesting. Thanks for the links, I'll take a look at them a little later when I've got some time.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 01:27 PM
2

If you don't mind me asking, what makes you think that? It's pretty well accepted that men and women have always split responsibilities as to what they are best at. This is even observable in animals todays. Honestly what you're suggesting doesn't even make sense. So I'd be genuinely interested if you have anything backing that up, I'd love to see it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 04:10 AM
1

That's... not at all what I was saying. I'm actually kind of intrigued as to how what I'm saying isn't getting communicated lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 03:28 AM
1

I get that, but I'm pretty sure OP is talking about the idea broadly, and that the study is supplemental reading to provide some tangible numbers to a phenomenon that is pretty much universally already understood to exist. I agree that understanding the methodology of studies is important. But I don't think OP's argument is solely based on that study, and I don't think the discussion is wholly dependent on it. Likewise, because the study doesn't account for choice, we can't say anything about ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 03:22 AM
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I mean I really feel like it's one of those patently obvious things. Like.. If a friend asks if you can pick them up from the airport, they don't need to specify that they mean give them a ride in your car, instead of literally give them a piggyback ride on your back lol. So I don't really see any reason for there to be any other interpretation. But I guess you're like.. technically right? Idk, I'm trying to be friendly and not sound condescending here, and acknowledge other people's assumptions…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 03:06 AM
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Wh- Yeah. It doesn't specify because the good faith interpretation is that we're comparing like to like. That's the whole point. It should be assumed that both the illness and loss of income are comparable lol. You can assume good intentions or gross negligence or whatever, but the point is that the circumstances are understood to be the same. Otherwise you get lost in the weeds of a million "what ifs". What if the wife has cancer, but also she used to smoke, but also she quit 2 years ago, but a…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 02:44 AM
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I think it's pretty obvious that the good faith understanding is that whatever hypothetical we're talking about, the outcome was purely bad luck. Whether it be illness or loss of job, you have to compare apples to apples. To even bring choice into the equation is attempting to derail it imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 01:30 AM
2

Yeah adewalle or adeille or something. Imagine if you showed up to an escorts house and tried to pay in smooth rocks lmao Ikr? At least I have the sense to stamp the faces of dead presidents into my smooth rocks before giving them to escorts lol
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 05:34 PM
2

Yeah capuchins are what I'm referring to. I've heard there's evidence of it in chimp troops, and maybe bonobos, but those guys are pretty hippy free love as it is so idk lol. I also recall some species of penguin have been observed engaging in transactional sex behaviors. I believe it's also observed in dolphins, as is all manner of sexual behavior. So I think it's a pretty small leap that early hominids would do this, as it has clearly existed long before written history.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 03:44 PM
0

True, I was trying to be very generous. We observe transactional sex behaviors in primates today, so very likely the practice existed before humans existed.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 03:08 PM
1

Sure. We can point out things that would be more ideal. If the world worked like that, there would be no suffering. Apply your logic to today. Is it better for a 16 year old runaway to get hooked on drugs and sell her body, or for her to meet a nice gentleman who will help provide for her? Yet prostitution still exists, no? And life back then was harsh, short, and brutish. You were often lucky to make it to 30. What if there weren't any suitors who wanted to marry you? Better to starve, or roll …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 03:06 PM
-1

Source? There's a reason it's called the world's oldest profession. We like to think that humans lived in prosperous and egalitarian times for 100,000 years, but in all likelihood, there was less than equal distribution of food and resources. Say you're an unmarried woman in a tribal band. There are hunters, gatherers, and maybe craftsmen. You can try collecting berries, hopefully there's enough to sustain you. You could try fletching arrows to trade, but that shit's hard. Or you could trade an …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 12:21 PM
1

Yeah, but didn't surprise me knowing this sub. Nobody here wants to actually debate or understand, they just want to be "right".
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 10:04 AM
9

Huh. This sub has some of the weirdest moderation I've ever seen. Anyways, thanks for the explanation!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 01:45 PM
3

Just curious, why do you and others exclude the "e"? I've seen it around here a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 01:16 PM
2

Kind Good communication Healthy weight No STDs Not materialistic/superficial Bonus points for: Creative, curious, funny, in good shape, and a little dorky.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 11:23 AM
1

I see. Is your hypothesis that they would find more enjoyment or less?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 02:09 AM
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Okay y'all hold up. There's a translation error here. OP is asking a different question than one the women are hearing. Because "success" looks like different things to the men and women here. To men, "success" in dating is not being single. Extra points if the woman is fun and kind and an easy person to be with. But just not being alone is often considered successful. To women," success" in dating means something else. It's trivial for most women to not be single. Their bar for success is so mu…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 12:18 AM
2

Yeah that's just not true at all. I'm sorry if you've been through some shit that made you think these things, but they're flat out lies. I care about personality immensely. Every guy I know cares about personality. It's true we don't care about your work success. It's not because your accomplishments don't matter, it's because your status and money is irrelevant to us. Also this point directly contradicts your whole message. Do guys care about what you do, or who you are? You're all over the pl…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 07:34 PM
1

I have heard "girl boss", but it's always been in talking about the archetype/meme thing. I've never heard it used in a straight-faced way to describe a boss who happens to be a girl. Good point about "male nurse", I have heard that one before. I don't watch all sports but I thought maybe there were court size changes or goal sizes- I wasn't sure. I was just covering bases. Ah okay, I got you. That makes sense. Do all woman's sports have the exact same rules and regulations as Men's? For the mos…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 11:15 PM
1

Well my bad then if you didn't misunderstand. I figured it was kind of tautological that a women's league would necessarily have the rule of being "Women only", by its very nature. So claiming they have different rules kind of implies something else lol. Otherwise it's just stating the extremely obvious. I guess I have no idea what your point was then of bringing up women's sports, if the only separation is the necessary one for it to exist. I agree that calling someone a woman doctor would be i…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 07:45 PM
2

Yeah, I definitely agree with the distinction of how the two relate to their respective expectations. It's a point of strong contention or bitterness for a lot of guys that women have a great deal of control over their perceived value, whereas for men, they're largely at the hands of fate. It feels like a cosmic injustice to them. I also appreciate that you said "stereotyped to want". It's a nuance many don't include. For me personally, I don't care for much makeup at all. I'm perfectly cool wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 04:06 AM
1

Ah, okay. I was asking more to understand than to debate. In terms of the debate itself, I don't find those things very compelling in a relative sense (comparing to men), but they're valid experiences themselves. And you did say "Not as a comparison to what men deal with, just a statement of its own", so I'm not trying hold your feet to the fire or anything. Was just curious is all, so thanks for the explanation! And you made a good point about China's one child policy. I think that's one of the…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 02:41 AM
2

Isn't a man's strength what makes him valued for the labour he can provide? To me it sounds like women are valued for what they provide if we're talking about what they can do with their bodies. I think there's a distinction here. Men aren't valued for their strength or what they can do with their bodies so much as the external success they achieve. An average man of average success isn't seen as particularly valuable. An average woman is, more or less by just existing in an average way. An aver…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 02:33 AM
2

Just a note of clarification about the sports ball, you misunderstand the distinction. "Sports Ball" is the game played at the highest level. Some people have the skills, but don't have the physical ability to compete at the highest level. To be more precise, women can be just as skilled as men, but aren't typically strong or fast enough to play at the highest level. Nobody created "Women's Sports Ball" to keep women out, they created it so that women could still play, in an environment that is …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 01:09 AM
1

It's an intrinsic function. That doesn't mean it's the whole function. It's not a contradiction to say "X is valued for its natural functions, including X.1 and X.2"
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 01:00 AM
1

Contrary to popular belief, the cosmetic skills to apply makeup, the mental and physical damage to the body needed to fit stereotypes of attraction, and the continued mental and physical damage of deleting our personalities and putting men's wishes for us above our own, are all really, really hard. Can you elaborate on this? Especially if you have personal experience or specific examples.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 12:56 AM
14

Unemployment is at almost record lows in the US. We haven't had such low unemployment in decades. It’s easy to have a laid back lifestyle and not work hard as long as someone else is paying for it. You're correct, which is why life is so easy for the richest people. The pandemic was the world's largest wealth transfer from poor and middle class to the rich. Billionaires in the US grew about 5 TRILLION dollars richer in total. Which correlates with the wealth loss experienced by the bottom 99%.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/23 12:49 PM
1

I've really never understood the idea that finding someone attractive is in any way mutually exclusive to seeing them as a human being with thoughts and feelings and all that. Or that expressing it (in a normal human way) denies personhood to someone. It feels like a weirdly disingenuous notion. Maybe I'm the weird one, maybe there actually are hordes of drooling guys shambling through the streets in a zombie-like stupor, humping fire hydrants and azalea bushes. But at least for me, an attractiv…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 09:53 PM
3

Well of course it is. Human attraction is subjective. But, as with most subjective things, there is a strong overlapping consensus. One person's 7 will be another's 6 or 8, but practically no one's 2 will be another's 10. Most people more or less agree most of the time within a margin, and that's all it takes to have effective communication. If you didn't agree, you would never look at amazon reviews when deciding what to buy.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 09:52 PM
3

Perhaps I can explain a little. I can't speak for everyone of course, but for me (and I assume a non-zero amount of others) it's really for sake of communication, not so much an actual mental model of the world. I couldn't tell you off the top of my head what numbers my exes were. They were people, not numbers. I never look at a girl and think "she's a 6". Doing that feels weird and reductive. But, when someone (say online, like here) describes person X as a 5, and person Y as an 8, I can unders…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 08:41 PM
3

Holy crap... I never realized that book/movie was a prophetic social commentary ala Idiocracy... You've opened my eyes, friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 08:26 PM
3

It's not "women". Women are not my sole or primary source of happiness. It's a deep intimate bond with another person. It's not the status of having a girlfriend or going on dates or even having sex. I have had meaningful romantic success. The majority of my adult life has been in a relationship. Some of them were shitty. Some of them were not. I have been happy in life. It was when I had that bond. I was truly happy for the first time. This is how life is for some people, and this is just a rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 06:51 PM
5

I think you're discounting the variance in personality types. You're talking about what works for you. Not everyone has the same brain or personality or values as you do. I agree with the basic premise that desperation and putting a partner on a pedestal are generally going to be harmful and counterproductive. But your argument goes beyond that and into territory where it falters. There are some people who genuinely cannot be happy without a partner. They can have a successful job and social lif…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 06:33 PM
1

For shame, man. Be better than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 11:50 AM
1

The vast majority of the time men say sex is “need” that’s exactly what they are trying to do. Do you have any data or evidence to support that claim? Because unless you're talking about the in person scenario I described, I can assure you that's just not the case. Someone might complain about being lonely or not having friends, we may understand companionship as a human need but it’s not common for a lonely person to say it that way. It's also not common for men to even claim it's a need. Like …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 02:09 PM
1

I get what you're saying and I don't think we actually disagree here at all lol. The whole context of this was me talking about Maslow's reasoning, not me making the argument that the needs of the species are 1:1 directly translatable to individual needs. I do think there's a great deal of overlap, but there's clearly a difference. I think we may have been having an adjacent but different conversation this whole time lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/23 09:06 PM
1

Well to be honest I think at that point it comes down to the individual. You're right, some people do feel bad when someone says they have no friends. I also feel compelled to offer them friendship. I figured that's just cuz I'm a dork. If you feel similar, you might also be a dork, and/or a good person. It seems like you have a degree of compassion for people and that's great. But I think we're kind of the exception in this way (not in having compassion, but feeling compelled to help). But even…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/23 09:01 PM
1

I'm going through my inbox replying to people who've replied to me, and I'm realizing I've replied to you a few times now, so forgive the repetition in some of my answers. That word was selected specifically to garner sympathy and pity and guilt trip others into providing said sex Hard disagree. Friendship and socialization is a human need. Not for survival, but well being. It's universally understood to be a human need. Is stating that simply a guilt trip to get people to provide someone friend…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/23 04:43 PM
1

Yes, that's technically true. But it's equally true that for the survival of the species, we don't need for 90% of males to even exist. It would be a very bleak, difficult future of course. Civilization as we know it would collapse if 9 out of 10 males suddenly died. But the species would likely not go extinct. With that understanding, we could say that even survival needs like food and water aren't actually needs for the vast majority of males. Or even the majority of females. Any woman past ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/23 04:31 PM
1

I think you're accidentally confirming what I'm talking about here. What my comment is saying is that no reasonable person is ever claiming sex to be a survival need, and that the only time "need" comes up in that context is when people are saying it's not. 99% of people will agree it's not a survival need, so it's like... Why bring it up? Unless it's to be used as a strawman to shut down constructive discourse on the subject. I agree it's strategic and the language choice is telling. To the ext…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/23 04:21 PM
1

I'm sorry, I feel like this is a strawman. I don't think I've ever seen anyone argue that a man's need for sex should be put above a woman's need to not be raped. I think only a total sociopath could even entertain that thought. You're correct about the species vs individual distinction in regards to it being a survival need. No person needs sex to live. Many, arguably most people, need sex/intimacy at least to some extent, to live a fulfilling life. That's why I think it qualifies for a higher …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/23 04:05 PM
1

That's fair, I can't speak for all people of course. As Kinsey put it, "The only abnormal sexuality is none at all" lol. Then again he was a bit of a weirdo. I think you could really map it on a spectrum, from extremely asexual to extremely sex obsessed. So if my description can correlate to the 50% between extremes, I'm pretty content with that. I think to try to encompass much more would make it more ambiguous and imprecise.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/23 12:27 AM
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This was a continuation of a conversation I was having with her in another thread, as I alluded to. If you would like to read that for understanding of the "need" dynamic, here's a link. You'll have to scroll up and read the earlier replies for full context. https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/13nx0cn/people_who_say_sex_isnt_a_need_dont_know_how_it/jl2myj2/ To call that nonsense though is just nonsense. It answered her question thoroughly and contributed much more to the discussio…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/23 12:23 AM
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Thanks for the helpful feedback, have a nice day
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/23 12:18 AM
1

I think you misunderstand me, I may have been unclear. I feel that sex/intimacy qualifies as a "non crucial need", in the same way safety, etc is. And when I said I feel Maslow had a compelling argument, it was in relation to the fact that our survival as a species requires reproduction. I don't consider it the same kind of foundational immediate survival need, at the individual scale, like food or water is. I believe he put it on the bottom of the pyramid as it's a physiological need. As for ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 09:41 PM
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Hey so I talked about the "need" definition in another comment to you, but I'll (attempt) to tackle your greater question here. Obligatory preface: I can only speak from my experience and from what I gather to be typical male experience, some people, such as asexual people, will experience something different. Okay so you're kinda right about the suppositions here, but also not quite. It's like... All those things but not just those things. There's a lot of different elements at play, and I'll t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 09:16 PM
1

I get your point as well. I wouldn't say sex is per se a safety need, but rather that I think we can (and often do, colloquially) expand the term "need" to include things not immediately necessary for survival. I'm kind of playing with the idea of a better working definition of "need". One candidate I think is good is "things generally required for a person's physical or emotional health". Things such as safety, some degree of socialization, etc would apply there. I don't think any reasonable pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 08:40 PM
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You might be right, I read it as semi ambiguous or less than ideal phrasing, but that may be what he meant. As a fellow sociology nerd I'd like to know as well lol
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 07:52 PM
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Yeah, what I find in discussions like this is it often breaks into all-or-nothing terms. I don't know if it's a human difficulty with nuance, or maybe subconscious influence of tribalism (my side is pro X, therefore Y is wrong), or what. But it's somewhat interesting to watch. Until it's your politicians doing it anyways lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 07:49 PM
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I'm not the guy you're asking so I can't speak for him, but to piggyback and provide another take (and maybe what he means?) : I hear women saying it's not a need far far more often than I hear men claiming it is. I don't think any reasonable person believes it's a true survival need like food/water, but frequently when the topic comes up, it's men talking about how difficult it is to live so intimacy-starved, and women to respond by saying "sex isn't a need!" As someone with no dog in the fight…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 07:41 PM
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That's fair. If we are to say that things generally required to thrive are not considered needs, then I agree sex/intimacy is not either. I do think there's some validity in calling them needs. Perhaps we can differentiate them as "non-critical" needs, or something, idk. I haven't settled on a concrete definition of need yet. I think broadly, my idea of it would be "things generally required for physical or emotional health" rather than survival. This would include things like safety, security, …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 07:19 PM
2

Wow, you really don't know how to read. This must be terribly embarrassing for you, to be so rudely arrogant yet wrong. Allow me to clarify, as you have had terrible understanding. I am not more likely to rape just because I'm male Read it again. I acknowledged risk assessment and general statistics. My statement was NOT about whether a person can apply probabilistic assessment. It was about literally me. It was saying "yes, I get why women make those generalizations, but it sucks because I know…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 06:00 PM
1

Perhaps it is different for men and women, I don't know. I've known women who couldn't go more than a few days without, and men who could go much longer, so maybe it varies on the person. I will say, as a man, it does feel like 2 different needs or drives to me. One feels more "base" or "urgent", but the other feels more "important" if that makes sense. If you don't mind (just to save myself the time of typing) I'll copy my reply to the other person, as you might have interesting input for that …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 05:49 PM
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For sure. I think it circles back to what it means to be a "need", and becomes philosophical at a point. For example, I would say that children need to be shown love and compassion. But they can survive without it. People can survive all sorts of terrible conditions. You and I would probably both agree that physical safety is a need, but it's not necessary for survival. Abusive relationships for example (assuming we're not talking murder obviously). You could probably extend this to emotional sa…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 05:42 PM
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He actually considers sexual intimacy separate from physical sex. You're correct that intimacy is the 3rd tier, while sex itself is on the bottom. He argues that we would be extinct as a species without it, and therefore the biological drives for it are an imperative of survival. I can see a difference between it and food/water, but he does make a compelling point in my opinion for it as a physiological need, but of less urgency than breathing or drinking, etc
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 05:21 PM
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Interesting. I'm trying to form my opinion on the subject and as far as I can tell, the entire topic can really be boiled down to semantics. It seems it hinges squarely on how one defines "need", and is almost detached from the larger conversation. It does make me wonder what people who say it's not a need also say aren't needs. And as long as they're consistent with their definition I see no problem with it. I'm still not sure where I lie on it, I can see good arguments both ways. Just a point …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 05:05 PM
1

Yes, you really are. That's not factually true. You're speaking about someone else's perception of me, based on ignorance. You admit that they would need other information for this probability to be lower. That's proof you're not speaking about probability I'm a rapist, you're speaking about some stranger's estimation. That is not an intrinsic statement about me, individually. It's a statement about assumptions. Let me be more clear. I am not more likely to be a rapist I have raped zero people. …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 04:58 PM
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Out of curiosity, would you strictly define "needs" as the minimum resources required to not die?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 04:33 PM
2

I get what you're saying but you're misunderstanding a nuance. In a group of people X, Y% of them will be rapists, and the majority of them will be males. A rapist is statistically more likely to be a male by this assumption (there's actually some solid data that suggests this isn't true at all, but that's a whole other can of worms and I don't feel like getting into all that right here so for sake of argument let's say that's true). From a broad, general risk assessment then, a person can say t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 03:39 PM
2

Fair enough, I agree with you there
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 02:47 PM
5

I'm a little confused because this doesn't seem like something you would say, but yeah that's very reasonable and I totally agree. Have an upvote.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 02:32 PM
9

Commenting so I can find this again. Thank you for this post.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/05/23 02:24 PM
9

The things you talk about are correct. The issue is wrapping it up into a concept of "patriarchy". That term is so incredibly loaded, both semantically and conceptually. Just like "toxic masculinity". The problem with them is they are specious. They include many things that are true, and thus can sound true. But they bring with them false assumptions and biased interpretations that harms both sexes. By their very nature, those concepts are not egalitarian and should be abolished. And in their pl…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 02:05 PM
25

Exactly. It's a semantic game of bad faith. Just like "men hold all the power". No. Positions of power are mostly held by people who are male. And the vast majority of the destitute and homeless are also male. I don't benefit just because some old white guy is a CEO. We're not on some team together. Nor am I on the same team as a violent criminal. I am not more likely to rape someone just because I'm male. Statistics don't work like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 01:55 PM
3

I personally think the best way to counter hate is through love. You can't beat an ideology into submission. That said, the kind of person who hates a whole class of people - be it men, women, minorities, gays, etc - is unlikely to even be receptive of love and understanding and well reasoned arguments. They are likely too entrenched and closed minded to even be worth talking to. But exceptions exist. So I say give benefit of the doubt. When you encounter one of the frothing-at-the-mouth misandr…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 01:37 PM
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I thought this place was about mending divisions between men and women at the sociological level. Lol yeah, I remember thinking that too, hence why I joined a couple months ago. One of my first conversations here was with her. It was mind blowing. We got in like 12-15 replies deep before I just had to pull the plug. And that's something I almost never do. There's a reason she has... A reputation around here. I don't think I've ever seen a woman call her out on it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 07:22 PM
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I... I can't man. I can't believe a real human writes the things she writes. I'm trying to make sense of it but it's so absurd, I can't even treat it like just a bad or stupid take. If I were to make a fake account with the intention of making women out to look ridiculous, I genuinely could not do as well. Like, I don't think I could even think of something so... I can't even... Make it make sense to me man. It's almost breaking my world view. (Also you should prolly edit your last line bro, you…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 07:10 PM
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Lol. "No u" I can take criticism just fine. And I didn't even take this as criticism, because OP's arguments aren't substantive enough to be coherent. It's not even critical, it's just saying "I think these people mean something else". There's nothing there, there's no meat on that bone. It's an appeal to bad faith circlejerking. Meanwhile, I provided actual criticism of the post's issues, and you didn't take that well. So... Learn to take criticism I guess?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 06:23 PM
3

Ohhh, I just saw your name. This makes sense now. Sorry, I didn't realize you were you at first lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 06:17 PM
2

I- Are you serious?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 06:00 PM
3

This should probably be a CMV The problem with your argument is it lacks substance. There's nothing here to speak on, really. It breaks down to "everyone is saying X, but I think they mean Y". And it's like... Okay? You can think that. Everyone else will continue saying "no, we mean X". And maybe when someone tells you how they feel, you should believe them. Your premise that men get plenty of compliments is either too ambiguous to be useful, it just false. It's common knowledge that men receive…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 05:39 PM
1

Oh, I wasn't trying to imply that was the case with your guy. It was just a general statement about why you need not worry about having a lower count, as one reason why a higher count doesn't imply better. Sorry for the confusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 01:55 PM
1

For sure. I've got no reason to lie to spare your feelings. If he told you the same thing I told you, he's telling the truth. Another thing to consider is why some people have high counts. After all, if someone was really good (in bed or as a partner in general), wouldn't that imply their partners would want to keep them? Correlation isn't causation, and some people just have bad luck in love, but you get what I mean. Either way, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about, so try to not let those …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 11:50 AM
2

Oh my, that is a.. significant gap. Having been on both sides of a gap, I know it can definitely suck. But if it's of any help, I can tell you with great certainty that a person's body count has almost zero correlation with how good they are in bed. Yeah, they might pick up some tricks along the way, but tricks are superficial, and there's a good chance it's not something that even works for you. One person's trick is another's ick. And they can pick up bad habits just as easily. And a person wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 11:23 AM
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But you're using it. You can't just put that on OP if you're going to use the same argument. Either you agree with it or not. Stand by your words or don't make them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/23 06:50 PM
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Fair, but by your metric, is anyone a good person? And if not, that means either the concept of goodness or your metric for it are useless. Especially if, like many here have said, being a good person is the bare minimum.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/23 06:47 PM
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If your logic is consistent, then it should apply to other aspects of life beyond romantic rejection. Have you ever reacted negatively? To anything. Just once. Even one time. If so, you are not a good person, by your logic. Are you a good person?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/23 06:31 PM
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So a man without "abundance" is not a good, kind man? This is what you're saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/23 06:28 PM
1

The fact that this even needs to be a question makes me weep for humanity. I'm friendly back to them. I'm not going to be less friendly just because someone is less attractive. Only [redacted] and psychopaths do that. If they're flirting, I'm probably not going to flirt back if they're a 2/10. I'll probably pretend to not notice they're flirting and/or assume they're just friendly. If it's super obvious and they're not picking my romantic disinterest, I'll say I have a girlfriend or that I'm not…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/23 05:42 PM
6

I have a fairly dark sense of humor. I'm just capable of empathy. Like normal healthy people are. It's one thing to find humor in fucked up shit broadly, it's another to find it in human suffering at the individual scale.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/23 06:06 PM
5

The fact that people like that don't understand just how much they validate and reinforce the other side is what's most funny of all. Not haha funny. Just sad funny.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/23 05:59 PM
7

I have a friend who struggles with schizophrenia. It's truly heartbreaking and neither of us find it particularly humorous.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/23 05:54 PM
1

Exactly though. Fat women don't think they're LV. There's even this stupid ass fatphobia movement and companies putting fat bikini models in their ads and shit. This is peak gaslighting. Ohhh, I see what you're saying now. I think it's less a case that they don't think they're LV, and more that they're trying hard to convince everyone, and themselves, that they're not. (I personally hate the concept of HV/LV. I don't like referring to people like that and think it's overly reductionist, but I un…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/23 12:44 AM
1

I don't believe I said "no" or "can't". I rarely speak in absolutes like that, because absolutes are rarely true. My argument was broad, not "all or nothing".
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 08:50 PM
1

Le sigh yourself. You said you were never without the affection of a woman. You said that's true for most broke men. 63% of young men are single. I'm sure you've seen the pew study. There's also studies that show a link between poverty and loneliness. I can get a link to that if you want. There's also common sense. It's indisputable that women prefer men with money. They overwhelmingly about to this. I can find studies for that too if you want. That's the basis of this question. You don't even n…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 07:52 PM
1

Oh, okay. It's weird how studies and statistics and so many anecdotes would suggest otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 05:57 PM
1

I'm genuinely happy for you that you had that. The world would be better if more people have had that experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 05:31 PM
1

I'll upvote for having a good faith argument I disagree with Hmm. I'm not sure whether to counter the premise they don't know, or the premise that it's worse. Tell you what, I'll give you a couple counter arguments in different directions, and let's go with whichever you find more compelling lol. A fat woman knows she's fat. This is the argument many people here are making, that everyone can see she's fat. You might say that knowing she's fat is different than knowing she's LVW, but I would say …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 05:21 PM
1

That's fair, imagining is hard
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 05:05 PM
1

So men can make up for the shortcomings they can't control through other strengths, half of which are also outside their control (being tall, having the opportunity to go to college, etc), and that is preferable to having one negative trait that is entirely in a person's control?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 04:54 PM
3

I don't think your situation is representative of the majority of people you'd call overweight. While I disagree with your conclusion in the general sense, you do make fair points and I can understand where you're coming from. And you have my sympathy for your struggles. Also, you say you've only managed to lose 80 pounds this past year? That's amazing! Really, you should be very proud of yourself! Don't minimize your successes and accomplishments. Your struggles are not my struggles, but you're…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 04:50 PM
3

Thank you for understanding what I was saying. Ohmaygahh is moving goal posts lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 04:45 PM
1

Overweight women are treated as either sexually invisible to men, or they're easy targets for manipulation So, kinda like a man? Now imagine that, but poor.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 04:42 PM
6

The topic wasn't about being at peak attractiveness, it was about not being overweight. You're moving the goalposts.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 04:26 PM
1

If you live a very sedentary lifestyle, yeah that's not super healthy. Because that's not healthy whatever weight you are, and you're still healthier being not overweight. The efforts I went through to gain and lose that much weight were for peak athletic performance. I was getting stronger all the time. Nobody is expecting your run of the mill 35 year old to compete with a well built 18 year old athlete. It really doesn't take that much work to lose weight without losing too much muscle. I lost…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 04:24 PM
1

Yeah, I damn well do. I used to wrestle. We had to make weight to the ounce. I also played football. This required bulking up in the spring and summer and trimming down in the fall. I would gain and lose over 30 pounds to do this. I was a linebacker, and would get to 185 pounds, and then wrestle at 140 or 152. Did that require hard work to do correctly? Yep. I've also done it through literally just not eating. Even a couple years ago, I lost over 20 pounds just to see if I still could. All did w…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 04:01 PM
16

money is easy come easy go, so that's not a problem Tell that to all the poor people working their hands to the bone week in, week out. To lose weight requires... Literally nothing. If you do nothing, you will lose weight. That doesn't mean it's easy, because hunger, willpower, etc. Some people really struggle with it. I'm not dismissing that. There's also a host of socioeconomic factors, such as cheap food being higher calorie. But from a literal perspective, losing weight only requires eating …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 03:21 PM
3

Not that I think it's going to change a lot of peoples' minds about who we are and what we go through, but for those experiencing the same I'd hope that it's at least some relief to see that they're not alone. Well put. It may be a lofty goal to hope that it can humanize people like us to the people who see us as caricatures, but if nothing else it may be a small moment of solidarity to the many who go unheard and suffer their indignities in silence. I've experienced the many ups and downs of tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/23 04:40 PM
5

Thank you <3 Nope and nope. He's chilled out a little bit, but I keep him at arm's length as a rule.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/05/23 03:19 AM
3

Thank you, I appreciate your thoughtful and sincere reply! Point is that he was just "some dude". Sure, he caught his wave, and I didn't, but it completely disproves... well, you know how it is around here, all the usual arguments. For sure, that's great evidence that looks themselves aren't everything. They certainly play a role in how people are treated, but they don't automatically guarantee success or lack thereof. Something I'm trying to be more conscious of is the ways in which I'm privile…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/23 02:54 AM
4

Yep, you put it perfectly well. In both this sub - and to an extent online broadly - there is a distinct lack of charitable interpretations. People will intentionally misconstrue what you're saying for a "gotcha". But perhaps I'm giving them too much credit that it's intentional. I shouldn't attribute to malice that which is explainable by incompetence. You seem like you're intelligent, and intelligent people often make the mistake of subconsciously assuming others have similar ability to reason…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/23 08:15 PM
20

For sure. A couple times that stand out: My girlfriend had cheated, and I called up my friend to hang out and get it off my mind. I told him about what happened, and I was sad but composed. A few days later, we were talking about dating in general. He implied that I was immature for not being more cynical and indifferent, and said I was "blubbering like a baby" a few days prior. Another time years later, a different girlfriend of mine was raped, and soon after killed herself. I was a mess. I did…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/05/23 06:36 PM
15

I just read through the comments in this thread, and the impression I have is that you're genuinely looking for answers in good faith, that you're trying to do what's right, and that you're being met with.. the kind of answers we would expect from this sub. Going on a tangent here, I feel like people such as you and me are the people this sub had in mind from its creation. People who can see both sides and are interested in the conversation, and seek to understand both the changing winds of soci…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/23 06:06 PM
11

Where have all the good supermen gone?? Supermen need to step up and be better.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/23 05:43 PM
1

For sure. I wrestled everywhere from 125 to 175, and I'm 6 foot. At the lower weights I was always the taller wrestler and it sucked. It had some advantages, but I had to get so low to sprawl or shoot, and didn't usually have the strength advantage. Finally after bulking up past 160, I'd occasionally wrestle a guy taller than me and it was much nicer to have a lower center of gravity and a strength advantage. ... I know that's totally tangential to your main point, but uh, I already typed it so …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/23 11:55 PM
0

Fair take, you may be right. What are your thoughts on my question?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/23 11:43 PM
1

I can't speak for this person (especially as he would rather downvote me than engage my points) but perhaps he's speaking from the context of millennia of tribal societies from which we evolved. In much of that, women were regarded as a precious commodity on the broad scale. A person on the individual scale, but a resource when zoomed out. (I'm generalizing obviously, individual societies differed somewhat) Either that or he's just a doofus, I don't know lol
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/23 09:43 PM
1

I'm not an anthropologist or an expert in the field, so I can't claim to know this for sure, but I doubt that is the primary factor. I considered it, but it wouldn't make sense for that to be expressed dimorphically. Women would have the same evolutionary pressures to avoid STDs as men, yet they don't seem to care as much about promiscuity. This hints to there being a pressure that isn't experienced by both. I believe the best explanation for that is pregnancy. A woman has never had to fear that…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/23 08:21 PM
1

I think what's missing in your argument is that change doesn't happen in a vacuum. It's important to recognize the reasons we have evolved the way have, and not just "it is the way it is". And that seems fairly in line with what you're saying, but it's missing the next step. To use the example of pattern recognition in racism, it's easy to just tell a racist to stop being racist. It's easy to give them lots of reasons why not being racist would be good. But none of that is going to change how th…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/23 07:13 PM
1

Ah okay. I'm not sure what data could satisfy that. What rate of wrongful/inaccurate diagnosis would you consider "over-diagnosed"?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/23 05:40 PM
2

Here's a relevant survey https://www.harmonyhit.com/state-of-gen-z-mental-health/ Showing 42% have a diagnosed mental condition. It doesn't answer your question precisely, as "over diagnosed" could imply "wrongfully diagnosed", which would obviously be very difficult to find. But if you mean it as "diagnosed significantly more frequently than any group at that age before" then I think this can apply. Similar studies show mental health has also been affecting millennials more than prior generatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/23 05:22 PM
1

Thank you, I was going to comment exactly this but you did it for me. Egalitarianism is the way forward, and so long as people conflate men's/women's rights as right/left wing, we're collectively just spinning our tires .
/r/MensRights04/05/23 11:00 AM
2

True, some men here can just reflexively turn into bitter women-haters. They will tell you it's because they are so used to women unleashing their raging misandry at the drop of a hat. I've seen both pretty frequently, and while I do believe I've seen one more than the other, I am biased so I can't claim that objectively. Men do get much less sympathy from society in general, so if good faith is skewed in the direction you perceive more so than the direction I perceive, I imagine it might be bec…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 10:25 PM
1

Hang in there man. I'm around your age and have lived a similar life to the one you describe. And you're right, very few women can relate to the same difficulties. But a lot of men can't either. The intersection of being male, being poor, having a small or non-existent social circle, and most of all having severe depression, that's a vicious circle of pain and struggle that most people just can't understand. I'd like to say it gets better. I can't. But it could. Just keep your chin up, keep bein…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 09:59 PM
2

Just wanted to say that you seem like a good person. A lot of people around here would have just called him an incel or something, and I know that's a low bar, but still. It's refreshing to see someone actually empathizing and caring.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 09:28 PM
11

I think it's unfortunate that some of the people here are just voicing their disagreement on the trans movement as a whole instead of connecting with what you're talking about. And yeah I'd be lying if I said I totally "got" every element of the trans conversation, but that's the thing. You don't have to understand someone's experience for it to be real to them. I think part of the friction comes from terminology. I've never heard "tucute" or "truscum" before this, and I think a lot of people re…
/r/MensRights03/05/23 06:27 PM
2

Yep, that's why it's untrue if said as an absolute. It's kind of like saying "all apples are red". It's true that most apples are reddish in color, but it's also not difficult to find a granny smith or golden delicious.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/23 04:25 PM
3

It's definitely untrue if said as an absolute, as almost all absolutes are. It's less untrue if said as a broad generalization with just a little nuance.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/23 03:57 PM
1

Wait... Okay listen, I want to try to give you the benefit of the doubt that I'm somehow misunderstanding what you're saying, because what I just read is the most vacuous and insultingly lazy argument I've heard in a very long time. It appears like what you're saying is either: That because I live in a country that practices capitalism, I am somehow complicit in historical oppression against women, and therefore feminism is more warranted than egalitarianism. Or That because I live in a country …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/23 07:17 AM
1

I feel like you completely ignored my actual argument, and I'm not sure what relevance my stance on state governance has to it, beyond the welfare component. Perhaps you interpreted my "we need to be focused on elevating people at the bottom" as merely a plea for explicit federal intervention, when I meant it more as a guiding principle for individuals and philosophies broadly, and why feminism fails the litmus test. I personally favor social democracy, and the Scandinavian countries seem to be …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/23 06:21 PM
1

Well that's hardly a counter to it, now is it? But okay, I'll bite. Here's where I elaborate and make good points and the other person usually doesn't respond, but maybe you'll surprise me. Any ideology that seeks to right historical wrongs by imposing lopsided standards based on sex, gender, sexuality, race, religion, nationality, etc, is oppressive. I'm about half Irish and half Blackfoot Tribe. Is it okay for me to hate white people? Actually forget the word hate, you'll latch on to that inst…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/23 03:24 PM
1

That would be a more compelling argument if I, or any of the men alive today, were remotely responsible for anything before our birth
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/23 11:13 PM
1

Commenting so I remember to look into this more later.
/r/MensRights27/04/23 09:15 PM
1

I'm aware of the meme. The fact that you don't realize the meme is mocking zoomers/young millennials for thinking someone slightly older than them is out of touch means that the irony is lost on you lol. You played yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/23 09:05 PM
5

Raises hand I'm one. I've only told a few people, all women, and their responses ranged from "ew gross, that sucks" to implying I should have liked it because I'm a guy. And you know what? It's... Ok. I never expected much sympathy. I don't consider the assault a truly formative part of my identity. It doesn't even make the top 10 most traumatic things in my life. Maybe just because I've kinda been through a lot lol. That doesn't mean I have less sympathy for anyone else who has been through it …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/23 06:57 PM
1

I think there's a good argument to be made about the difference between feminists and feminism. I'm an egalitarian, and I see modern feminism as a destructive force for both sexes. But feminism claims to be about equality. And there is no widespread movement for actual egalitarianism that has anything near the same name recognition. When you combine common narratives, incomplete understandings, etc, it's easy to see how some people who otherwise think like me could wind up calling themselves fem…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/23 06:37 PM
2

That's kind of a fair take. You're probably correct on some level, that we know what it's like to be us, and that factors into our attitudes regarding it. I think that goes hand in hand with what OP is saying. We know how we think, and we also know the level of sympathy we would get were we the victim. Honestly I think that plays at least as much a role. We generally aren't used to getting sympathy, and that affects our own baseline for what sympathy looks like, especially when combined with wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/23 06:16 PM
2

Boomers are in their 70's, you're 2 generations off, bud
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/23 03:21 PM
3

That's fair, and I'm the same with women. Very much a serial monogamist. I wasn't trying to say you, personally, are blaming men. Just that the implication of the argument we were talking about was in essence putting the fault on men for not being attractive enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/23 10:30 PM
2

That's one possible explanation. The other, if we're sticking to these analogies, is the one offered by OP. That most women "claim to be starving, but who won't settle for anything less than caviar and shrimp at a swanky ***** dining place." It might be that both analogies break down. One analogy says women are very picky eaters, the other implies there's something fundamentally wrong with them. It wouldn't make sense to put the blame on 90% of men for "not attracting them", just as is doesn't m…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/23 10:00 PM
6

Perhaps you are correct about that. I don't claim to know whether it is socially learned or if it's evolutionary psychology. I think there's a strong case for the latter, so I can't say I disagree with you. It's most probably a combination of the two to some degree. I also don't know whether that is something that can/should be changed. One could argue that to be aggressive is in men's nature, and that society has collectively decided to punish and discourage that nature in many contexts, for th…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/23 09:28 PM
17

Perhaps AI will fill some of the roles being left unfulfilled. Will it bring people deep fulfilling love and spiritual bliss? Probably not. But it will microwave your food and tell you a joke and call for help when you fall down and break a hip. And who knows, maybe I'm underselling it. Perhaps the Turing test is a very low bar and in 30 years, the world will be full of aging people deeply in love with their silicon partner. We are currently living through the loneliest time in our history. But …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/23 06:15 PM
3

Yeah it's a very different thing in the US unfortunately
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/23 06:08 PM
18

I'm saying if any person finds the average person of the opposite sex as repulsive as your analogy claims, then yes that person has some personal issues to work on.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/23 05:49 PM
17

By your analogy, you're saying the vast majority of men belong in the dumpster.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/23 05:28 PM
19

If 90% of the food out there make you violently ill, you should probably see a doctor and not blame the food itself for being bad
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/23 05:27 PM
1

Exactly. The character of person is massively more important. The best girlfriend I've had was broke as shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/23 03:12 PM
1

The mistake you're making is in thinking that the terms only describe sexual selection, when they actually refer to a more complex self organizing social hierarchy of direct competition, subordination, and cooperation. Humans don't work like that. We do have hierarchies, we do have competition and cooperation and we do have certain people who sleep around more than others. But it's not consistent with what the terms suggest. Can you find examples of humans who seem to exhibit these characteristi…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/23 02:32 PM
1

If I was discussing etymology, I would be bringing up Hebrew and Phoenician. But I reckon it's all Greek to you xD You're committing the fallacy fallacy. The "current meaning" of the words include their usage as a social theory. You can still find people using the words in the context in which they were coined in the 70s. Most people who say the n-word aren't using it in a hateful way. Is "friend" or "person" now the "current meaning" of that word? Like I said, you would have a point if not for …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/23 01:36 PM
2

Tell you what man, I'm gonna do you a solid and help you make a stronger argument for your case. You could argue that because English is a living language, that the terms have shifted and no longer mean what they once did. That the definition of a word is solely based on how it is used in common lexicon. I'm more of a descriptivist than prescriptivist in general, and I would find this argument a little more compelling. I still wouldn't be persuaded, because the terms are still often used in thei…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/23 01:13 PM
5

The terms themselves were based on a fallacy, upon research that has been debunked. That's exactly what I claimed, and when you pressed me for more information, I provided it. Do confident and successful men exist, and less confident men also exist? Uhh yeah. It's bizarre you would try to make it out like I think otherwise. I simply stated that the theory that humans self organize into this hierarchy is false. The alpha male theory is bs, and people DO claim it to be based on social dynamics tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/23 12:43 PM
2

I see the rampant anti-hole propaganda in society has sunk its claws deep. You're suffering from internalized misholgeny and I hope you can learn to love and embrace your holeness, for your self and your hole-partner <3
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/23 12:03 PM
10

The description comes from a misunderstanding of a flawed observation of wolf packs from the 70s. Researchers observed the way wolves seemed to organize themselves in captivity, and a writer named David Mech referenced this and coined the terms alpha and beta males, and from there the idea started spreading and being applied to humans. But it didn't even apply to wolves. It was a localized phenomenon due to the displacement and unnatural setting that these unrelated wolves in captivity found the…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/23 11:57 AM
9

"Alpha" and "beta" males don't exist. That's been long debunked and to perpetuate the idea sets us all back. A woman has a right to go for higher income men, just as men have the right to see that as shallow and telling of her character. A woman can believe a lack of money makes a man "lesser", and a man can believe that quality makes her lesser. That's equality.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/23 11:32 AM
1

TIL poor people need to live their lives of quiet desperation ALONE. "Period". Great take.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/23 11:28 AM
3

As humans, we're all basically just holes if you think about it. It's kind of our defining feature.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/23 11:21 AM
2

This is the stupidest post I've seen on here on a while, and that's saying something. I'm not even going to get into your frankly comical excuse for grammar and spelling, as they're merely reflective of the kind of mind that could think this was a good idea. Nor your infantile understanding of social dynamics. I've neither the time nor crayons to correct you in any way you would understand. But I'll give you props, it's brave of you to tell on yourself for being a crappy person. Shine on you bea…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 03:24 PM
3

Well put. I would add on that a healthy relationship should be one of mutual learning and teaching, both influencing the other to form new positive habits and mindsets, and to drop negative ones. Strength and resiliency are good, but some people mistake them for inflexibility and closed mindedness. We are all works in progress, and anyone claiming to be finished will forever remain a half painted portrait. Godspeed as well friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 09:05 PM
11

It should. Their actions should align with their values. But there's also innumerable external factors, extenuating circumstances, lapses in judgment, and so on. If a person's actions are consistent, they probably reflect their values. I think we should be patient, understanding, and most importantly, communicative when there are exceptions. And if those exceptions become the norm for long enough, then it might be time to bounce.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 06:28 PM
4

Ok that's fair, I agree with that
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 05:22 PM
4

It makes me sad to see that people actually believe this. As I said in another comment, actual love is necessarily unconditional. The fact that many people think otherwise is a limitation of those people, and the more that idea spreads, the more people act on it, and the worse the world is. I still love all my exes. None of them romantically. Most of them I want nothing to do with, some of them I'm totally disgusted by. Those are separate from love.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 05:03 PM
1

Bollocks. Lust is conditional. Limerence is conditional. Compatibility is conditional. Love is fundamentally unconditional. If my partner stopped being intimate with me, there's a good chance I would leave. That doesn't mean I would stop loving her. Yours is a cynical and pitiable belief.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 04:58 PM
1

I believe they're saying love should be a given, and not a transactional commodity
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 04:09 PM
1

I just think you were talking past each other, the way I read it he was saying more like "after that person improved upon his deficits, they no longer outweighed his height" or put differently, "his success was largely attributable to his height, and his previous lack of success attributable to the things he would later improve." Like I get both your sides, I just think you were missing a nuance of his point is all. It's a matter of perspective, whether you see those other variables as "a bonus"…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/23 01:30 AM
3

America, midwest. According to a percentile chart I just googled, it appears I'm 86th percentile, so I guess you're right in a way and maybe I'm a little taller than I realized. But when I hear "super", I think 2 or 3 SD above norm, so 97th percentile give or take.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/23 01:23 AM
1

Bro I get what you're saying and I agree with your overall point, but you're interpreting what he's saying very uncharitably and not being fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/23 12:11 AM
2

Is 5'11" considered super tall? I'm 6' and I feel like I'm only taller than 60%, maybe 70% of dudes at most.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/23 12:06 AM
8

Actually George had 47 girlfriends. Most of them being well out of his league. That short balding man is absolutely slaying.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/23 11:42 PM
1

I'm very much a dork, and I don't have money or status. And I have no interest in dating someone for whom those are important. Granted I was lucky enough to have decent genes. I'm 6 foot and above average looking, so I'm a little privileged in that way, and I'm sure it's played a factor in attracting the women I have. But not the only factor. Some women love dorky guys. Man need to put more importance on Money and status if they wanna get Women. Hard disagree in general. If we're talking about c…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 05:09 PM
5

He has a point dude. Think about it. How did they measure what 14 years old looks like, mentally? By comparing these trauma stricken soldiers to untraumatized 14 year olds. If adults of general population were mentally 14 on average, then that would be the baseline for "adult", not 14 year old. Your argument is not logically sound.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 12:13 PM
2

I agree with the basic premise, that in a way we're all just kids in adult bodies pretending like we know wtf is going on with this whole life thing. But I'm not convinced it's a gendered issue, I don't see any evidence that women are mentally younger than men. I think it's a mistake to conflate gender roles or evolutionary psyche with mental age. Being a "protector" might have parental connotations, and I can see where you make the connection to maturity. But it doesn't per se imply an older ag…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 12:08 PM
0

You're either interpreting it wrong or phrasing it weirdly. Women on average rate 80% of men as "below average" attractiveness. Phrasing that as "80% of men don't cause any sexual attraction" is a strange take. There's many factors that could explain why many women have skewed ideas of average attractiveness. I won't go into them here, but that's a more accurate way to frame the phenomenon. It's literally impossible for more than 50% of a population to be below average within that population. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/23 03:43 PM
5

Exactly lol. It's assortive mating. From the men's side, it has almost nothing to do with caring about the woman's finances. It has to do with the likelihood they meet and hit it off. A poor man is going to meet many many more poor women (at his work, or the social places he goes to) than rich women, and a rich man is much more likely to be around other rich people. This phenomenon has much more to do with statistics than with men's concern about money. You could argue there's some degree that p…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/23 12:41 AM
3

Do you have any data supporting that? I can find data supporting the opposite. In fact it's such common knowledge that I'm surprised to see anyone claiming otherwise. A woman's career and income are near the bottom of a man's concerns typically. It's women who are attracted to status and money, stereotypically. (Not all women obviously). The only extent to which most men are "materialistic" is in that way, as society tells us that having more money, a better car, a better job, etc make us more a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 07:42 PM
5

The only guys irl who are like "I don't care about the girls money if she's attractive" are either lying or desperate. You're projecting. I'm not desperate and I couldn't care less about a girl's money. I want to date a person, not a checkbook. Materialism is gross, and I'm not the only one who thinks this.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 02:12 PM
5

They were being sarcastic, pointing out how you fell for that trap and didn't realize it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 10:56 AM
2

I rly dont think that being opened to a LTR with 10% of women to be a high standard. Huh? I don't even know what you're saying or how it relates to your claim that 90% of men are liars. Are you claiming that men form a relationship with 10% of the women they sleep with? Because that's not remotely true. If that's not what you're saying then I don't get what you're talking about. Over 100women how many would you start a ltr with on your opinion ? Again I don't really know what you're asking or ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 04:37 PM
1

I didn't make a straw man argument, I said that the picture you're painting is absurd, as you said 90%. Those are your words, not mine. As for everything you said just now... Yeah? And? Those points only support your main argument "men have it better" if you're assuming that the percentage of men acting in bad faith is astronomical. That's not supported by evidence. Likewise, for every point you made, an equivalent point can be made the other way around. A man has no way to tell when a woman is …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 02:50 PM
2

I'm not denying some do. Of course some do. Some people - of both sexes - are selfish and manipulative people. I'm saying that it's absurd to paint the picture that 90% of men are like this and 0% of women are. That's detached from reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 02:30 PM
2

This is such a stupid and disingenuous take. You're suggesting that 90% of men are just using and disrespecting women, and 100% of women are genuinely interested in who you are? What world are you from?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 01:54 PM
2

Not everyone is a sociopath. Most people have a moral compass and I don't think "why would I not lie if it gets me what I want" is as compelling an argument as you think. It's actually pretty pathetic.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 01:50 PM
3

You're starting from the premise that one sex is "higher quality" than the other. This alone precludes you from having a good faith discussion on the topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 01:20 PM
2

What are you talking about? I asked you a straight question about what you think I'm missing. I'm not riding to anyone's rescue. Maybe what will work? Do you think I'm here to pick up chicks or something? Or do you just not have anything intelligent to say, so you default to accusing me of simping?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 12:12 PM
5

Maybe I missed something or we're interpreting it differently. From what I see, it looks like she's agreeing that it's much more difficult for men, and much better to be able to complain about the music than be locked out of the party. I ain't trying to white knight for shit lol. What do you believe I'm missing?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 11:22 AM
9

Bro, she was saying the opposite. Don't be a jerk to one of the few who are actually listening and caring.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 10:23 AM
3

Man I just read this interaction and it makes me sad. You seem like you're engaging in good faith and this guy's making big leaps and insulting you. Yeah, generally speaking, women do have very skewed standards. I saw a study that showed that women rated 80% of men as "below average". So a woman who is a 5 generally sees men who are an 8 as on par with them. Part of this is due to the validation women get from having male attention and compliments for little to no effort on their part. I know th…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/23 08:12 PM
1

As with anyone else, I can't speak for 4 billion people, but in general, yeah your career is of zero importance to a man in terms of his attraction to you. There's an important caveat though, because some men will say it does. And often what they mean is that they find correlatives they associate with said career desirable (or undesirable). They might feel that nurses are more likely to be caring, for example. Secondly, they might feel like you're more likely to see them as an ATM if you make si…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/23 08:50 PM
3

I'm sorry. Neither sex has a monopoly on suffering, and while I would truly love to swap, it's not without its downsides too. No one deserves to be harassed after asking to be left alone. I'm sorry you're lonely too. I hope you find someone who appreciates you for the person you are <3
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/23 03:55 PM
2

Does that also come with average looking women and the occasional hot woman hitting on me? If you think it would really be much better, I would recommend you look into Nora Vincent. She was a man-hating lesbian feminist who intended to write a book about how men's lives are easier. She went "undercover" as a man for months to prove this thesis. Ultimately, she suffered severe depression from her experience, describing a man's life as one of painful isolation the likes of which women can't compre…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/23 01:55 PM
0

Hey man, this is clearly a huge part of your self identity, and I'm sorry for what you're going through. Look into micro-needling and/or derma rolling. You can get it professionally done, or do a less intense version of it yourself at home. It's said to have massive effects for acne scars. Look into it, my dude. It's worth it if this is affecting your self esteem this much. Best of luck and hang in there!
/r/AllPillDebate26/03/23 01:12 AM
3

I can usually empathize with a great deal of human experiences unlike my own, but I think this is one area that I cannot. And I earnestly try to. I mean, I have sympathy for women as human beings, and if they say it's a negative experience for them, their feelings are valid. But I think it's just too alien to my frame of reference as a man, because... That still sounds like a great thing (minus the pre-puberty part obviously) To men in general, complaining about unwanted attention feels like a m…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 12:29 AM
8

Well that's not true. All things equally, I would prefer to be hit on by someone I'm attracted to, but it's not negative or even neutral when someone I'm not attracted to flirts with me. I'm flattered, even if I'm not interested in dating them. I'm sure I'm not alone in that regard.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 07:30 PM
23

Wait, are you suggesting that being active in a conversation someone initiates is somehow a bad thing? I- What??
/r/MensRights21/03/23 02:52 AM
1

(didn't want to edit to add) And likewise I'm sorry if any of these people have hurt you. I don't know who or what they did, but I'm sorry and I'm sure you didn't deserve it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 10:43 PM
1

they are mean You're absolutely right. Anyone who thinks the other sex is a lesser creature is holding on to deplorable, reprehensible ideas that I cannot sympathize with. But I can empathize with why they hold on to those ideas, and try to show them alternative ideas. When I look at one of those living caricatures of man hating femcel, I see a lot of ugliness. But I also see a human who has been hurt. She was probably abused by some jerk, maybe multiple. Maybe she was raped. Maybe she was treat…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 09:49 PM
2

Your idea about neurodivergent communities is also a good idea. It definitely wouldn't solve the problem, but could help mitigate it for that subset of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 09:04 PM
1

Okay, you are showing more empathy here and that's a good start. You're partly correct, a subset of those men are neurodivergent. Not a majority, but likely a larger percentage than the general population. What is your solution? I would be lying if I said I had a perfect and simple solution to such a widespread problem with deep roots. I think it's enmeshed with the larger problem we're talking about societally with this growing element of lonely men (and to some extent lonely women). So I'll ta…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 08:49 PM
1

Sigh. Yep. Context matters, etc. Listen, I know you don't want to believe some women will call someone a creep for the same exact behavior, with the same context and location, as someone they don't call a creep. You're doing all you can to dance around and dismiss it. I don't understand why, it doesn't take anything away from you. But whether you believe it or not, it does happen, and frequently. And while it in itself is far from men's biggest struggles, it is one of many things many women try …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 07:32 PM
1

Okay here's where we're splitting hairs. Being physically attractive doesn't automatically imbue a person with more social awareness, etc. Location and context are accounted for. It's not like ugly people flirt in different places. If you really want to get down to the most precise and controlled environment, you can look at online interactions. People have even done experiments to show this happening. 2 profiles send a dm to women with the same words. One profile has a a profile pic of a hot gu…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 06:48 PM
1

No, that's not what I'm saying or what any reasonable man expects. Men expect more attractive men to have a more warm reception, and that's fair. That's common sense. What we're saying is that it's not fair to accuse one person of being a creep if he's doing and saying the same thing that a more attractive person wouldn't be called a creep for.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 06:07 PM
1

We're talking past each other. I completely agree that if someone is demanding special treatment or demanding that you are receptive to every man's advances, that person is unreasonable. That's never been in question. That's not what anyone is contesting. We're not even talking about whether it's nice to cold approach. We're all talking about something else entirely, and I can't tell if you're just completely misunderstanding us or if you're gaslighting. How about we try this. You try to accurat…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 05:57 PM
1

Okay. My point is, that's what you're doing. I can tell you that the notion that you're rejecting truly is what men are feeling. Obviously nobody likes rejection. That sucks no matter which sex you are. But men are used to it. It still sucks, but they accept it as part of reality. Are there some men that do and feel what you're saying? Of course. Some men believe the world is flat. Some women are serial killers. There's 8 billion people on earth. For any "are there some people that do X" questio…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 04:00 PM
1

Okay so normally I'd just roll my eyes and move on, but I really value mutual understanding and I consider it a (very small) victory for mankind when 2 opposing sides can really empathize with each other. And I think your reply perfectly encapsulates an ongoing problem. So I'd like to try to find some common ground here. Can we do that? Would you agree that as a man, it would be absurd for me to act like I know what it's like to be a woman better than you do?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 03:25 PM
1

Listen, what you're doing is like taking a math test that says "X=5, solve for Y if X+Y=10" and you're writing in "actually X=13, not 5" The entire conversation is about "why is it that people get upset when ugly people are treated differently despite doing the same thing?". You're trying to force a different conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 01:43 PM
2

Bro you're still having a different conversation than everyone else is. We can all 100% agree that there are better and worse ways to approach someone. That was never the question. The entire topic is about 2 different strangers who approach someone the same way, in the same context, but one is called creepy because they're less physically attractive. That's the only variable that's changing in the comparison.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 05:21 AM
2

Ah. Yeah I can see the distinction there, that's fair enough. I think most people don't want to be bothered when they're trying to get somewhere quickly. I think there's some gray areas that are harder to figure out, like while shopping. Prior to online dating becoming the norm, malls and grocery stores were a very common place to meet people, but probably less so now.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 05:02 AM
0

As a guy, I can totally respect that. Maybe not so much the "creep" part, I feel like that word has lost its meaning and should be reserved for perverts. But as long as you're applying the same standard whether it's Brad Pitt or Seth Rogan, I say that's fair!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 06:40 PM
4

Women have made it abundantly clear they don't like being cold-approached Some have. Others say it's what attracted them most to their partner. They say that they felt like a prize, and that the man's confidence and assertiveness is what immediately attracted her, even if she wouldn't have normally found him attractive. Do you know the difference between them and women who don't like it? No really I'm asking, because we can't tell until we try lol. I've personally never cold approached a woman. …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 06:36 PM
6

What's funny is that I totally agree with what you're saying, broadly. I hear you, I get you, and I'm on the same side. And I don't take it personally at all. I think what's getting lost in translation is that we aren't really defending cold approaches, but talking about how some people are called creepy and treated like dirt while others aren't for the same behavior. You're totally allowed to be annoyed by cold approaches. As long as you're judging a person's behavior on the merit of the behavi…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 06:06 PM
5

Ok maybe. But that has nothing to do with the question. I answered the question she asked, not whether cold opens are a good idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 04:38 PM
11

I don't know who "they" is but I've never met them or seen them. I'm explaining what people are actually saying. Why would you think standards are supposed to be equal? ?? Because otherwise it's a double standard? Because that makes you a hypocrite and means your judgment is suspect? I don't get why that's the hill you choose to die on, that's elementary. You wouldn't like double standards either, especially under false pretenses. You don't need to lil bro me ... You literally said "explain like…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 04:36 PM
9

That's moving the goal posts. The question wasn't about people who cold approach vs those who establish mutual attraction. The question was about unattractive people who cold approach. Let's compare apples to apples, my friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 04:22 PM
22

Is anyone arguing that women should be open to literally every man's advances? Because that feels like a total straw man. I've never seen anyone say that. I think you might be misunderstanding what people are saying. People who have an issue with it aren't upset that women have standards or aren't dating every man. The issue they have is that women often characterize someone as creepy despite the same exact behavior being seen as attractive when done by someone else. It's the double inconsistent…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 04:01 PM
2

Hey I just wanted to say that you seem like a really good person and it makes me happy there are people like you in the world. My advice going forward would be to try to reinforce the idea that you're both working together and contributing as a team. That you contributing financially is not charity or pity, but you doing your part in a healthy relationship based on love and mutual care. What's good for the wellbeing of each is good for the wellbeing of both, and that support comes in many forms.…
/r/MensRights26/11/22 07:13 PM
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