TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Road_to_independence Archive

View 5 posts and 47 comments by Road_to_independence on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I love the sentiment, but let's see what the other court's say.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/22 05:10 PM
8

It's funny. Once you've been through the process from beginning to end, it is so obvious that it is a pointless arrangement. Why should the government be involved at all?
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 07:42 PM
1

I looked up about 10. I called them all. Two answered some initial questions during that first phone call. Only one had a free consult. I choose that one and hoped for the best. I don't want to lay out $250 dollars for every consult.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/22 03:35 PM
2

The only additional advice would relate to if you're lonely or not. I am finding that not only do I not have a good support system but I don't even know how to make friends at 55. That is where my energy will go to after the final papers are signed.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/22 01:16 PM
2

My face when... usually fake shock.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/22 01:41 PM
4

This totally burns me up. I never pushed her to expand her education or build a career, while I worked to build up savings, retirement, the kids education funds, a house, etc. Now, she got a license and is ready to start a career AND gets to walk away with half of it. Fuck this shit.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 02:53 PM
1

Mine is the same: doesn't know anything, doesn't want to know anything. I think she may be so stubbornly ignorant that she would sign anything I put in front of her. My only worry is that if I minimize her share of assets, the judge may blame me and punish me by giving her more than a fair share.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 02:22 PM
1

Calling a lawyer is completely non-committal. I was so nervous to call, but so relieved when I did. The first call/meeting will help clarify the process and give you an idea of what to expect. I found it very comforting to move from fear to knowledge.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 08:00 PM
3

As someone who went through this, I recommend examining whether you love your ex or your love the idea of being married to the love of your life? I was tied to the idea of that one special marriage and growing old together, but after time passed I realized I didn't love her. How could I? She cheated on me, broke trust, broke promises, and basically treated me like shit. Once I had some distance and could tell the difference between the two types of "love" it was much easier to let go. I still ha…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/22 07:55 PM
2

She takes the crazy with her. I know this only all too well.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 04:55 PM
2

Truth. I wish I had been in a position to understand what the cost of waiting to divorce or not securing assets prior to marriage meant, before I got married.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 02:19 PM
3

My wife is also oblivious to needing some tact when discussing our problems. She simply can't see that she is doing damage to the kids through her words and actions. She is also incredibly stubborn to admit she has any fault in anything. I actually feel sorry for her, because both me and the kids wanted to be closer to her, but that offended her, she couldn't accept that she hadn't been perfect. She also has a horrible habit of pushing everyone close away.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 02:00 PM
14

Compromises are like interest, they compound over time. One day you're making a teeny, tiny sacrifice to please her. The next thing you know a decade or more has passed and you have no idea who you really are any more.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/22 05:21 PM
3

Marriage is the new side hustle. Fail fast. Fail Forward. Iterate your way to your dreams.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 01:03 PM
1

Yeah, I could have explained it better. The "fair" division of marital assets just pisses me off because she contributed next to nothing to build them. But I get it, legally she is entitled. BUT, the idea that I have to pay her a significant portion of my future income just seems intolerable, especially being at an age and in a field with highly variable income levels. I have periods of time where I made nothing, other years where I made mid 5 figures, and not with mid 6 figures. Anything to bri…
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/22 01:59 PM
2

Well...number 6 as well, but I'm not quite ready to play in traffic.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/22 01:48 PM
2

Lol. My wife is from SE Asia and I've never met a more selfish person in my life. She treats me and the kids like shit because she thinks we owe her because she took care of the kids when they were little. Despite practically begging, she has never shown one ounce of concern for my well-being. She can't even engage in a simple conversation. Finally, in some ways the cultural differences are refreshing, in other ways they are infuriating. She will never show an interest in music, sports, meeting …
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/22 01:47 PM
1

Thanks for this. My daughter wants nothing to do with her mom, so I am thinking of filing for 100% custody to avoid child support.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/22 10:48 PM
2

To fix it, remove all the spaces before each line.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 02:16 PM
3

Thanks and this scares the shit out of me, being a mid 50s independent consultant.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/22 04:42 PM
2

This hits so close to home. I can't even remember what it is like to be with someone who is actually glad to see me and wants to engage in a conversation. I am mid 50s and damn close to retirement. It kills me to think about what will happen to the kids' college and my retirement - especially since saving for retirement was one of the two big problems in our marriage. I keep hesitating to pull the plug, but the truth is that I am only going through this life ONE FUCKING TIME. Why waste it sittin…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/22 03:03 PM
1

Never mind the hell that is slapping on a smile to remind the kids that it is Mother's Day and they should think of something nice to do.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/22 06:42 PM
2

The thing is, you only go through life once. One single time. But you don't really appreciate it until you get into your 50s and start to understand how little time is left. I didn't have the courage for a long time and now all I can do is look back and see all the lost opportunity to escape a boring, unfulfilling marriage and cultivate a rich, meaningful one. Don't live a life you'll regret.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/22 11:57 AM
1

I would say that both you and your ex agree to the ground rules with the daughter would be a start. Hopefully, both see that it is bad to talk bad about the other parent. Another rule would be to aim for consistency in parenting approach. For example, if one parent is very religious and the other is atheist, that you both agree to some approach that accommodates both views and prevents the kid getting whiplash. On a more practical note, you can agree on similar valued gifts for the child to avoi…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/22 01:24 PM
2

"Is it bad enough I should leave?" should be replaced with "Is it good enough to stay?"
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/22 02:52 PM
3

Coaches can be great, but just like therapists, they can also be awful. In general, coaching is set up as a guided interaction where the coach will help you uncover your own best answers. A good coach will help you identify things that matter and dig deeper into them, especially to get in touch with emotions. This is achieved through good listening, asking good questions, and reflection. They may also challenge you to look at things from different perspectives. If they're good they will help you…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/22 03:03 PM
3

The killer is getting a divorce BECAUSE she won't get a job, or care about savings, or care about retirement, and she just gets to walk away with half of it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/22 12:42 PM
5

This reminds me of my situation. One of the main points of divorce is that she would never get a job, or contribute to savings for kids' college, retirement, vacations, etc. Guess what she's entitle to half of? I would definitely find another woman, but only one who is up to taking care of their half of the shit. (Legally, I would never combine resources again.)
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/22 08:22 PM
8

When I learned that my ex wife's affair wasn't a signal that I was a loser, but instead that she was the loser and I was better off without her, it was a very good day.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/22 07:17 PM
2

I always leave it down, because I set to pee. Much less clean up that way. That said, when I lived in Asia, it was polite to put the seat up. Otherwise, guys would just piss all over it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 07:32 PM
3

Inability to engage in a decent conversation. After that (and closely connected), no personal interests or curiosity.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/22 01:40 PM
2

As the saying goes, "It's better to be from a broken home than in one."
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/22 02:58 PM
3

I am glad that it is working for you. As an alternative, I found it to be poorly written and filled with bad advice. Moreover, there is a very toxic community that surrounds that book, that will lead to all kinds of gaslighting and the need for years and years of self-work including babying the "inner child" (Be prepared for an onslaught of books to read). Instead, I benefited most from working on establishing and enforcing boundaries for clearly articulated things I wanted in my life and things…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/22 02:12 PM
9

But basically a judge will see the inequities and laziness and reward the hard workin ghusband with the majority of the income and assets. Surely, no judge would allow a horribly lazy and manipulative person to get a sizeable portion of the shared assets. Right, guys?....right? ....guys, where'd you all go?
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/22 08:48 PM
2

We were both younger and life's priorities were simpler. We hung out, ate at restaurants, had great sex, I liked her family,it was easy. As things like saving for retirement, building a career, saving for the kids college, etc. became more important I tried to meet those increased responsibilities. She didn't.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/22 03:11 PM
1

Yes. I was divorced years ago, but the idea to stay together so the kids have a mom and dad together is strong. However, once someone pointed out that I am modeling what a healthy relationship looks like it changed everything. I would never wish the marital relationship I have for my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/21 12:23 AM
2

There is a saying that it is better to be from a broken home than in a broken home.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/21 02:31 PM
3

Pastors and religious counselors are also more likely to guide you to doing whatever to stay together. God help you (pun intended), if they pull out a copy of the 5 Love Languages which is nothing but garbage with no attention paid to compatibility.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/21 02:08 PM
7

So...this is an ad? If these were actual tips they would talk about what questions to ask during interviews and what answer to look for. It would offer guidance on how to tell if you have found a "calm, strong negotiator who can get the best for you without breaking the bank."
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/21 02:04 PM
5

I think there is also a fear of being scammed into an expensive divorce process, when there is hope for an amicable process. I want to protect myself, but I also want us to hold on to our assets as much as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/21 01:57 PM
1

But can never be 100% anymore with her. The same can be said for the lawyer too.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/21 02:17 PM
9

Take her to Saudi Arabia, get a quickie divorce, and then refuse to give permission for her to leave the country. Ha ha ha... ...I have no idea if this would work.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/21 07:05 PM
2

I remember when I was young, I just wanted to live in my "normal" place. It was nothing personal, just a kid looking for the most comfortable, easy path forward.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/21 06:51 PM
6

I missed what could have been, but in hindsight most of that was hokey bullshit marketed to us through movies and TV shows.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/21 12:38 PM
6

Ha! My decision to be a poor bassist in a rock band that went nowhere is turning out to be an excellent investment decision! Seriously, I am happy my first divorce was when I was a poor grad student and had nothing to give. This current one will be tougher especially as one of the reasons is she didn't care about finances or retirement and never earned or saved a penny. Marriage is stupid.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/21 12:33 PM
8

If your divorce is going to be a fight. If you and you STBX are amicable and want to make the best of a necessary split look into a settlement or mediator.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/21 02:01 PM
7

This resonates so much with me. I thought I wanted to stay with her, even though she had started to cheat. I later realized I had been clinging to the thought of a good marriage and not her. I didn't want to be a *divorced* man, as that seemed like a mark of failure. I didn't want a divorce because I was so afraid to be alone. In hindsight, it was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. I also had close to zero support. I made it through by smoking a ton of cigarettes, getting little s…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/21 12:00 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter