TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Runningoutofbacon Archive

View 2 posts and 54 comments by Runningoutofbacon on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
10

Midlife is a common time for couples to split. Take time to recover properly before you get back out there.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 11:50 PM
9

Not at all. She made a commitment to me. Knowingly doing this is a cruel act and shows a lack of character on both of their parts. In the end, they both did me a favor and I should thank them. It gave me the push to end a thankless, sex starved marriage where I was the only one working at it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 07:24 AM
6

Make sure you get your fair share of the assets. She should be paying child support. I would typically say make sure you get 50/50 custody, but your case sounds more like 100% custody.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 01:49 AM
2

It's painful to be reminded of your ex. I removed all traces of mine from my photos everywhere much quicker. This doesn't mean I was ready to date or move on, just a way to make the process of healing less painful. My advice is to work on your addiction and focus on the parts of your life you can control. This too shall pass. Try to take something positive from your relationship with her. Perhaps you grew as a person or whatever.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 10:51 AM
0

It might be wise to try to find a new place to work or a way to get the work done without the extra hours. In my experience, you can often automate, eliminate, delay or delegate tasks. If you are already working those extra hours, see if you can spend some or that time executing on reducing the workload. This makes you more valuable to your company if you can pull it off. I don't know your role or company and your results may vary. This has worked for me in every role I've worked, but I tend to …
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 07:56 PM
4

they will have forgotten you existed five minutes after you stop working for them. I agree with your entire reply, but this part in particular I think bears repeating. Companies will forget about you very quickly after you leave. Unless extra hours are bringing you joy, you are sacrificing for people who don't really appreciate it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 01:06 PM
1

Dead bedroom is way more lonely than actually being alone. Make sure you get 50/50 custody.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 12:03 AM
1

Good on you for not letting your daughter become collateral damage to her mother's choices. If you are sharing pictures somehow, shut it down. Your daughter needs to be protected. Don't risk a 1% chance of this happening again. I was cheated on too. It was hard for a while, but it gets better in time. Reach out to family and friends as much as you can. It's also okay to feel the pain as much as you can tolerate. Stay away from alcohol and drugs during this time, they will only make you numb and …
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 07:43 PM
1

Minimum 5k not counting assets that needed to be split or child support. Mentally, I'm so much better off. Not having her around allows me to spend so much less... I might be better off financially
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 09:03 PM
1

Misery is the river of the world.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 08:56 PM
1

I used to, even before we split. I stayed in a bad marriage because I thought it was best for the kids. We grew further and further apart until one day she did something that crossed the line that felt impossible to come back from. She had no remorse and had checked out of our marriage years prior to this. We are nearing 4 years split and it's been the best thing for all parties. I am happier, their mom is happier and the kids are thriving. My eldest just graduated with honours. If anything, liv…
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 08:18 AM
3

Sit with the pain as long as you can, don't try to numb it with drugs or alcohol. The only way past the pain is through it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 02:05 AM
1

Find a way to make it work so you can see them more often in person. Kids need both parents in their lives to provide balance. We have just as much of a role to play as the mother, don't let your kids down by chasing money.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 11:41 AM
3

My ex cheated on me as well. Any time she picked up the kids, she used to come inside the house early on and she started making all kinds of accusations about me dating. It was none of her business so I told her she isn't allowed into my house anymore. I told her I would not be getting out of my car anymore when I come to pick the kids up. Life is better not seeing her. We agreed that if either one of us introduced a new partner to the kids, we would talk on to the other one first. I was fully o…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 11:30 PM
2

I wait in the car. I don't know your situation well enough, but maybe that could be enough.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 11:06 AM
1

Sorry/you're welcome 🤣
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/21 10:53 PM
3

Happy to help. I have 3 kids of my own and I've given much thought to how things would work with someone new in my own city. Unfortunately even that provides a lot of challenges I can't decide for myself if they are worth it ATM.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/21 06:43 PM
7

3 hours is a crazy long drive. It's best not to get your kids involved until you know where this is going. Your instincts are right to question getting your kids involved. Honestly, from an outsider's perspective... It's hard to see how this can possibly work out for you. Kids complicate things, but they are worth it. I think I'm missing how introducing the kids actually helps in this scenario. Is there some possibility you or her will move? How would school work? If not, you've got a long term …
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/21 06:14 PM
6

The things you didn’t do before because you were trying to not annoy your wife? Do them now. I honestly sometimes wonder how much who I am became compromised by all the little things I did to make her happy. It's giving me pause in finding a new partner someday.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/21 11:39 AM
1

I'm nearly 2 years in. My ex cheated on me as well. We quickly agreed to split the kids 50/50. The best thing you can do for yourself and the kids is to be a good dad and realize that your relationship failed through no fault of yours or hers. The truth is that you were both married to the wrong person. She should've said something to you instead of cheating. That would be easier to move on from. Mid-life is that time we all start to wonder, 'is this it?". Definitely never look at her social med…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/21 11:31 AM
7

Stoicism has some good ones. Amor Fati - this means to love whatever fate throws your way. Memento Mori - remember your mortality and live each day fully.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/21 02:02 AM
2

Yes, three sounds like more than enough for most folks. Haha, somehow she didn't see it that way. Hopefully things are better now that you are separated, although she will always be in your life due to the kids. Things are definitely better now that we are separated. We are both happier and the kids are doing great. That said, having an ex wife who you have to see because you have kids together has it's downsides.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/21 09:29 PM
3

My ex kept wanting more kids. Once I decided that I was done for good, I got a vasectomy. She didn't like that, but it's my body, my choice. We had 3 kids and I definitely didn't want more. She was miserable basically the next 7 years. Maybe you'll decide eventually you want kids, but don't have kids unless you are sure of it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/21 08:57 PM
2

I have 3 kids, they were 10, 9 and 7 when we separated. I knew right away it was the right decision for me, I wasn't sure if it was better for the kids right away. I forget the exact moment it clicked(less than a year for sure), but I figured out that both me and my ex were happier living apart than together. This meant that the kids had 2 happy parents instead of one semi happy one trying to put up with a miserable one. We are the best parents we can be when we are happy. In our first talk with…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/21 01:14 PM
3

I have 3 kids, it was normal to spend $1200 on groceries a month. I now regularly spend less than half of that. She would go shopping, spend a bunch of money, but wouldn't plan out meals properly or take into account food we already had. It's so much easier to eat healthy now that she's not in the house buying junk food.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/21 01:17 PM
4

Somehow I spend way less on groceries with one less person in the house. If I knew this, how little I'd be paying in child support and how well the kids would do with it all, I'd have done it way sooner.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/21 12:51 PM
2

You know how people say marriage will make you a better person, perhaps with the right person it will. What I found is that I tried to be someone I am not more often. I spent more time at boring parties with people I don't find interesting. I do what I want, when I want with who I want. I no longer do anything to try to stop my ex from being miserable. In spite of how miserable she was, I was still happy, but I'm definitely happier now. My leisure time is now my own. We were very different peopl…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/21 12:49 PM
3

Better question is why bother worrying about it? The opposite to love is indifference. Seeking revenge of any ill will on your ex will only make you feel worse.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/20 12:51 PM
3

Judging by your description of your marriage, it sounds like you are better off now. It takes some time and you are going to feel lonely. Check out some videos on stoicism, there's some good concepts that are helpful in your situation. The key is to not let things out of your control bother you, start embracing your new life. Google Memento Mori and Amor Fati. It's been a year and a few months for me and I feel lonely at times, but it's getting easier... I have to remind myself that being misera…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/20 10:10 PM
2

Your kids will adjust better than you think. Mine barely even blinked. Fight for 50/50 and have the discussion with your kids with your wife. Explain to them that they will be living sometimes with you and sometimes with mommy. My kids are a bit older than yours, but I was blown away by how many examples of other families my kids could rhyme off where the parents didn't live in the same house. In a year from now, think of how much better your kids will be having 2 parents who are happy even if t…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/20 11:50 PM
3

I feel like I'm you from the future. I'm worried about messing with the space time continuum. Spoiler alert, my story didn't end the way I was hoping. She wouldn't go to counseling, she eventually went back to school and got a decent job after forever of me carrying the family on my salary and then she cheated on me. At that point, I pulled the plug. If you want to have a longer conversation about this, send me a dm. I'm sure more or my story is similar to yours. I don't know what country you ar…
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/20 01:02 AM
2

Living in the present is a great way to find happiness. I've been in your spot feeling like you have an extra child instead of a wife. You sound as different as we were. It's easy to feel resentment in this situation, I suggest that you go to counseling before things get worse. The trajectory you are on ends in divorce, you not seeing your kids enough and spending lots on child support. If you can't get her to counseling, try to get her to convince her to get a good job. If that means education,…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/20 11:02 AM
1

I sent you a dm
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/20 03:10 AM
1

Oh okay, cool. Yeah, it's going to be awkward, that's normal. I see my ex every other week when I pick the kids, it gets less awkward as time marches on.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/20 01:14 AM
1

I'm confused, did you not have a conversation with her ahead of that? Obviously lawyers need to get involved eventually, but why not deliver the news yourself?
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/20 12:43 AM
9

The reason for the divorce doesn't matter in Ontario. I hear you can jump straight to divorce instead of separation if she admits she cheated. Other than that, your divorce will proceed as normal. I doubt she will just give away anything to you as a result of you telling her that you know she cheated. Now, for my advice. The kids will be okay and so will you. I know it seems like you have messed up at life, but you haven't. Chances are you and your wife will be happier apart. Fight like hell for…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/20 06:07 PM
2

For sure. There were several other contributing factors. Social media amplifies what's already there, so the cracks definitely got bigger as a result. Social media use was always a problem with us. She would be on there instead of spending quality time with me. Seeing everyone else's fake lives and making comparisons to your own real one is a recipe for unhappiness. I tried to get her to reduce her usage and to be more present, but it was a struggle. I would extend reality shows to all shows and…
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/20 08:26 AM
10

My ex cheated on me too. I think it had little to do with a biological need for her to do so. My evolving take on what happened in my case, you may draw have some overlap or you may not. There's definitely nuance to be found here... Early dating is filled with novelty and excitement. She has less in common with you than you thought it would take to fall in love, but this fuels the mystery and desire at least for the first 5-8 years. Eventually, the love buzz wears off are you settle into the rea…
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/20 07:37 AM
4

I have my kids one week on, one off. I find by Friday, I'm thinking finally I'll have some time to myself and then I have that feeling emptiness once they are gone. I try to get out with friends and family. That definitely helps for me.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/20 01:33 AM
1

Why does she get to move your kid away? That's BS. She should get the kid every other weekend then. I would fight for 50/50 at the minimum here. Kids need both parents, she needs to find a way to stay in town so you can do what's best for the kids. I see my kids 50/50, they are 8-11. It kills me when they aren't with me, but I know they need their mother too.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/20 10:34 AM
1

Get a good lawyer, sounds like you're going to need one. We added a clause that says we are both independent adults and no spousal support would change hands. We got this done for free somehow, I was willing to pony up $5000 for this. Make sure you get 50/50 custody of your kids. This to me is the most important thing. If she claims she was staying at home to be the primary caregiver, you are going to be paying through the nose and will not get to see your kids as often. You are in a dangerous s…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/20 01:28 PM
3

I definitely see all kinds of red flags now. Divorce is something I thought happened to other people, not to me. I saw divorce as giving up or failure before going through it. What I didn't realize was that losing all hope is freedom.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/20 11:46 PM
2

As long as you aren't sacrificing dating because of your son. That could lead to resentment eventually. I have 3 kids and they are with me every other week. I find the weeks alone can get lonely, especially with Coronavirus, I can't even meet up with friends. All of my local friends are coupled up, so that makes it harder as well. Needless to say, I jumped on some dating apps maybe a month ago.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/20 06:37 PM
1

I'm still working, so my time is nearly as busy as before. The kids are still a big part of my life and I sleep so much better when they are under my roof. I do a lot of reading, hiking and watching Netflix when they aren't with me. Post Covid 19, I plan on joining some sports clubs here to get out and meet some new people. Definitely, don't rush to fill the void if you are very newly single. It's important to process all your emotions before you entertain the idea of finding someone new. If you…
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/20 10:51 AM
3

Don't worry about what anyone thinks, she is going to talk shit about you - people will either know better or they won't. Losing all hope is freedom - so stop hoping people won't think bad things about you. Truth is that most people are in relationships on there edge of collapse, but you don't notice because you are too busy thinking about your own life.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/20 10:52 PM
1

We are separated. In Canada that means that none of that stuff applies. I pay child support and have to deal a little bit with her when I pick up the kids. That's it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/20 08:41 PM
2

The more I think about it, the more okay I am with it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/20 08:40 PM
1

So far, yes. No woman of any age has caught my eye for very long. My house is cleaner because I used to hope that she would do it and she seldom did, so I did less. I always did more than my share. Now without her in the way, there's less clutter, dishes are always done, clothes are put away (she would leave hers all over the laundry room) and I got an Roomba to vacuum. I'm enjoying my freedom, but people still look at me like some injured puppy. It's kind of annoying. Life is good, I'm allowed …
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/20 11:29 PM
1

So far so good. I'm enjoying my free time. I don't feel rushed to get into any relationship. Life is good, I'm not searching for love. Perhaps, I'll meet some woman who will capture my attention... But I'm not looking for her. I feel like I was in too much of a hurry to find love the first time around and ended up going in blind.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/20 11:59 PM
3

This is kinda where I'm at (minus the blacksmithing thing I guess). I'm actually transitioning to a whole new job as well, so I've got a lot going on right now. Perhaps as things settle down, a relationship will make more sense to me. I listen to a lot more music, I cook way more, I am focusing on taking care of myself and my kids when they are with me. It's nice to not have to compromise anymore on everything.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/20 03:01 PM
2

Did your kids always ask why you are not together? My kids never really got into it. When we told them, we never brought up the why. We just compared ourselves to some of the parents of their friends. It seemed easy to understand for them. There's been a couple questions like "If you and Mommy get back together, where are you going to live?" I promptly replied that that wasn't going to happen. The last thing I need is my kids to feel like they have to bring us back together. Another one was when…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/20 02:56 PM
4

I laughed a bit at the "I just married the wrong crazy ass bitch" line. Thanks for that. The trouble I'm having, is that we were together 17 years and she didn't seem like a crazy ass bitch for the first 10 years. Then, I had just assumed it had something to do with her being home with the kids... So I encouraged her to go back to work and to get out of the house more. Nothing seemed to work. I tried to get her to counseling at that point, she refused to go even though it was something we both a…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/20 10:30 AM
13

Divorce rate actually goes up for second marriages. I was cautious about getting married the first time because the odds are stacked against you, to think it gets worse is hard to fathom. I'm not having any more kids, so I don't know why I would subject myself to marriage again.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/19 02:35 AM
1

Maybe one of the partners doesn't feel the relationship is good. Speaking from experience here. I thought everything was fine with our relationship, sure we had our problems, but who doesn't right? "It is normal to not have that spark we used to have" is what I'd tell myself.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/19 11:04 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter