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Secure-Ad-421 Archive

View 1 post and 84 comments by Secure-Ad-421 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
0

DebateSecure-Ad-421/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 04:41 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

Take a break and do things that are not monotonous and uninspiring. Dating just makes men want to die
/r/seduction29/04/24 07:55 PM
–

Are you approaching different types of women than you did before?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 07:52 PM
–

Waiting for the right one has about the same effect as looking. No effect.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 07:49 PM
2

Never settle. I’d rather die alone than live with someone who makes my life unpleasant.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 05:59 PM
–

Bruh the anime women are into the real weird shit
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 05:30 AM
2

They are just different things with different trade-offs. You should pick based on what you want to give. If you don’t want someone to have your time by default, don’t want to have obligations to do things like visit in-laws or friends you don’t really like, don’t want to negotiate how to maintain a shared space, don’t want to run your major life decisions by someone, and don’t want to be responsible for the emotional state of another adult, FWB is for you. If you want to build a life with someo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 06:29 PM
–

Oh yeah it takes like…. No time at all hanging around my friends with young kids to cement that I do not want that life.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 05:57 PM
1

If you're giving commitment away, it's not worth anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 05:31 AM
1

That whole part about not considering them is pretty key here. If they’re not an option you’re not going to treat them as one, and you’re going to just be yourself without the weirdness that the question mark hanging in the air engenders.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 02:42 AM
1

Low maintenance boyfriend hands down. Low maintenance usually means not willing to do maintenance, and women are nearly always mid-maintenance at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 09:05 PM
1

I don’t feel good about it, the dumpee goes frickin’ nuts though. My last ex, I dumped, and when she tried to booty call me a few days later she lost her goddamn mind when I said no.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 05:30 PM
1

I don't really rank women against each other but I do determine the difference between us. I don't approach people who are way over me, and I don't approach people I am not attracted to. I'd say like... +0.5/-3.
/r/seduction25/03/24 02:06 AM
0

What kink community are you in where anyone is over a 5!?
/r/seduction25/03/24 01:57 AM
12

If you said you would and don't, YTA. The pics were of her, it's not like she stole someone else's pics. You of course could not pay, but know that anyone you tell this story to will think you're a dick.
/r/seduction25/03/24 01:54 AM
2

Really, it comes down to people having different ideas about the significance of sex. If casual sex feels bad to you, it's because sex wasn't what you were looking for. If you were looking to feel a connection, it's going to be disappointing. If you're just straight up on the lam from horny jail, and that's literally all you want, then it's going to feel fine. People on both sides of this feel that the other side's view is not congruent with their feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/24 08:32 AM
1

Too accurate. If one partner is trying to talk the other into it, that's usually what's going on.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/24 07:57 AM
0

Why? Isn’t it possible that the old relationship models don’t make sense anymore and our expectations haven’t caught up?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 10:40 PM
3

This is because you’re trying to be competitive on Tinder. What you have to realize is that you don’t have to be the hottest guy in the world, you just have to be one of the hottest guys in the room. Tinder is an insanely huge room. Find a room that has people you are into where you’re on the high end of the scale.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 10:01 PM
2

So you know how this whole dating thing is kind of hell for a lot of people? When you’re monogamous, you get to live life without having to interact with that at all. All that time you’re spending trying to connect with people is no longer spent there. Of course, that time is going toward a relationship so it’s not like you get it back exactly. But if you have a great relationship where you’re working toward something together, it’s not really a sacrifice- love what you do and you’ll never work …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 05:43 PM
3

This exactly. Gets real awkward if you later meet someone better.
/r/seduction17/03/24 05:04 AM
1

Of course not, I didn't die but nothing bad happened either. I didn't commit. If I commit and get rejected it's going to wreck me.
/r/seduction16/03/24 11:33 PM
1

For a lot of us who are behind on that development curve due to a bad upbringing, we need help feeling safe in taking risks. Eventually I’m sure we can go out and do it on our own, but it just isn’t possible to get started without help. I told a woman I thought she was cute two months ago, in a bar, and I was scared shitless and gave her an out immediately. Because if it went badly I’d be scared off from trying again for months. I haven’t tried again since, so I guess I was scared off anyway.
/r/seduction16/03/24 10:58 PM
2

There are not a lot of good options. Most women do not stand to gain anything from tolerating an entitled manchild when they do not need to depend on one for basic living needs. That was the only thing making relationships a default and it’s a good thing that is different because it was basically domestic slavery. Edit: the only practical reason to get in a relationship at this point is having a child. If that’s your goal, you have to be REALLY selective as a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/24 01:33 AM
1

So…. The issue here is, sure you say the right things and avoid the wrong things when talking to women, but under the hood there’s all this entitlement and anger because you can’t get what you want out of them. You don’t see them as autonomous people. The stuff you spew online is your beliefs. If your beliefs and actions are incongruous, you’re dishonest at best.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/24 01:07 AM
-1

Oh Lordy…. Hoe Math is filtering out into the discourse.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/24 01:03 AM
1

Having every horny dude in the world throwing dick pics and low effort messages at you is not a good thing. That analogy makes zero sense. Why wouldn’t you be selective? Relationships kinda suck for everyone unless you get it right when picking a partner. Your life becomes something entirely different. A lot of guys are possessive as fuck and suddenly something as simple as going out for drinks with your friends without him becomes a stupid fight. A guy who is going to do that is not worth datin…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/24 12:59 AM
3

I think part of it is, a younger woman is probably going to have less terrain in her life to work around. They can easily adapt to whatever life the older guy has built up and don’t really have to lose much to integrate into his life. Two 40 year olds are going to have a lot more sanding off to do in order to get the pieces to fit together. Obvious disadvantage: it deprives her of her opportunity to develop herself and she spends critical years of exploration being guided by what the guy wants.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 08:00 PM
3

Lots of options doesn’t necessarily mean lots of options you actually want. Take it from a bi dude- there is a LOT of penis available to me on Grindr. It’s not worth it and you’re better off fapping when you’re not into the person. I’ve got both sets of experiences and yeah, when you’re solely focused on dating women, it can feel bleak. But it’s not really a blessing when a lot of people are interested- you have to be extra sure you’re into the person before you swipe right because nearly everyo…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 07:55 PM
1

This man knows his Manson
/r/seduction15/03/24 06:17 AM
1

That second part is the main thing- socializing while out of shape, while fun, is not going to get you laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 06:53 PM
1

Eh… understanding the underlying phenomena is helpful, but people have to be discerning about what advice to take. I don’t want a transactional relationship and Red Pill kind of wants you to accept all relationships as being an exchange of value. I think I’d rather be single than have a businesslike relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 06:51 PM
2

Game theory problem. Only works if everyone is on board.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 10:44 PM
–

I'm in therapy, been going weekly for three years solid. This is one of those things that I can't really do in therapy because a therapist generally isn't going to reject anything you say. He can guide me toward a new perspective but that was a pretty big jumble of mixed emotions. I didn't intend to treat this as a therapy substitute but it was really effective at breaking that up which I will definitely carry into therapy in four days.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 08:53 AM
–

Thanks! Not to get too into the weeds but the ideals there- I can agree with most of that, just some asterisks on philosophical wank points that rankle me. (It can’t be good for a kid to have to have to juggle their parents’ messaging with a school’s messaging, for example. But that’s what school choice is for.) Main problem for me is in the implementation- for example, I don’t like how much of my tax money goes to murdering people in foreign lands. I did not support the covid lockdowns because …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 01:51 AM
–

Thanks for the history - it was an unfortunate choice I made writing this.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 01:25 AM
–

That sucks. People want different things at different times.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 01:22 AM
–

Correct. The OP was projection. I recognize that.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 01:21 AM
–

A lot of stuff shifted around since I first posted this and interacted with a bunch of people. Yeah, I am an anarcho-libertarian. I don't like the state. Power should be wielded with consent. That's it. Progressivism is a noble idea but there's a huge air of "we know better than you" to it all and a desire to control everything. Gross. Whatever your grand design is for society, you do not have my support and you do not have my consent to mess with my life. Hopefully with all the fucking you are …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 10:40 PM
–

I can't really speculate. Maybe. But you're exactly correct, I am no one right now and I have been trying to be everyone. I am working on figuring out who I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 10:29 PM
1

Some are, some aren’t. I can only control my own actions.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 08:29 PM
1

Hi, Lefty! That's a lotta stuff and I'll just respond in chunks. The entire idea of "performative wokeness" is an artificial construct created by the right win to discredit people showing basic respect. This is a toxic framing of the issue. You are implying that the only reason a man would be "woke" is to get laid... but that doesn't have anything to do with anything. If you are the type of person who "pretends" to be decent in order to get laid... then you are quite frankly... an asshole. Defin…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 08:00 PM
1

A lot of them are as fake as I have been. Most of them are not as good at it as I was. Women have complained to me about these kinds of guys, saying they can smell it on a guy when he’s going full Joss Whedon. Feminism broadly isn’t something I had to perform though, so that’s not a big deal. Gender roles are stupid and nobody should be pigeonholed into living a certain way because of the chromosome their dad squirted into their mom. The things I’d have to perform are bashing of maleness and att…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 07:05 PM
1

Thank you. This guy therapies.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 06:50 PM
2

That’s awesome! I’m checking out Austin soon. Kinda looking for a place where people are less extreme in their beliefs. I lived in Seattle for a bit and that place is tragic- so beautiful but the social environment is a constant circular firing squad and people will constantly bring things up in one on one conversations. Portland is kinda the same deal. I don’t even have beliefs that are particularly objectionable to a reasonable person. I just ended up in extremely toxic environments where you …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 06:48 PM
2

It is despicable and zero honor but that comment is pure trolling. Women are people and people all have intrinsic value.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 06:35 PM
1

It’s entirely possible it’s localized to my head, that’s why I’m posting about it. My agenda is expression and receiving feedback and new ideas to explore, I don’t care if anyone is persuaded. You do know one- and there’s me. That suggests there are a few of us out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 06:33 PM
2

Oh god yeah, women do not have it easy on that. Man, the shit I have heard people of color say about white women in places I didn’t belong in… holy fuck. Depending on what circles you’re in, someone can just print license to shit on you by calling out the fact that you are not trans. That’s the level of crazy I was dealing with. I’ve mentioned elsewhere but I don’t actually know how common it is but I can 100% say that was my experience and I am way older than I should be as I come to terms with…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 06:25 PM
1

You’re right, I do kind of imply that. And I respect your perspective- you’re willing to be honest about what you do and don’t agree with. That’s the important thing. The mention of politics is regrettable.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 06:19 PM
-1

Kinda off topic but no I’m pretty barebones in my ideology and lean on the anarcho-libertarian side of things. All power should be wielded with consent. That’s it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 06:16 PM
1

Mentioned in another comment but I’m not referring to any positions held, just the broad concept of aggressive witch-hunty identity politicking.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 06:13 PM
1

100 percent on me. I regret infusing this post with any mention of wokeness because that seems to be the main thing people are zeroing in on. All perfomativity is a toxic reaction to toxic culture. I could say the same thing about the people who live in Salt Lake City and pretend they’re Mormons for the social advantages (and that is a very real thing). Extremely Aggressive identity politics is the in-culture where I live and being seen as someone who isn’t totally onboard is a significant disad…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 06:10 PM
3

Facts. Like… yeah maybe my lack of strong beliefs might be a problem for me where I live in terms of dating. That’s why I’m considering moving to a less flamingly liberal area.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 05:58 PM
1

It is frustrating, kinda getting the frustration out of my system and letting myself feel it- that’s a lot of years of built up pressure. Trying way too hard to make sure I am worthy of love and friendship, basically being a pretty false person. It’s ugly but at least I’m no longer in the state of mind that led to it. I just hope that other me’s read this and maybe realize what they are doing is just plain wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 05:56 PM
-1

I don’t respond to strawmanning of my words. You made an interpretation into something else entirely. I don’t care what perspective you’re arguing, it’s a rhetorical trap that people constantly fall for. No argument here on father figures or the effect it had on me. It’s not justifiable, it’s not right. This is not me doubling down on anything. This is me coming clean and choosing honesty over living in some version of the world that emulates my childhood. Honestly, I don’t have negative feeling…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 05:46 PM
-1

None of those words were in my comment. You are exactly the type of woman I no longer want to bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 05:26 PM
2

Exactly. 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 05:26 PM
2

At least I’m no longer a belligerent and unlikeable misogynist who is concealing that to bang you
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 05:25 PM
0

I cannot be the only one. Really, the woke part is not the important thing here- it’s the being false to suit your goals. That just happens to be the terrain in my area.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 05:19 PM
1

Oh absolutely, I fucking hate politics but you can end up in situations like I did where you’re compelled by someone to take a stand. Like, hanging out with people and my exes- if someone else said something mildly offensive I would get my ass chewed later if I didn’t say something. I agree- I thought she was an idiot but I didn’t think I had much choice in who I dated and just sucked it up. That wasn’t right, but I didn’t have the perspective. I know how I got that way (childhood shit), been in…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 05:16 PM
1

Oh yeah, definitely has a lot to do with where you live- in my area complaining about wokeness or even suggesting you don’t fully agree is social suicide.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 05:03 PM
1

At a great cost. Just ended up in relationships because according to that whole ideology, just wanting to bang people makes you a gross man or whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 05:00 PM
-2

If I am pissing off people like you, I am living authentically. Less flippantly- no, I don’t think it’s an okay thing to do. It’s way more unethical to perform beliefs you don’t have than it is to have beliefs that are slightly out of step. From my perspective at the time it was just changing to suit another person. In reality it’s manipulation and I don’t want to do it anymore. This is a confession, not an excuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 05:00 PM
2

Just pay for sex Jesus christ
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 08:01 PM
1

We all create narratives- mostly so we have something to move forward with. Especially around breakups. There might be a couple people you discuss the gory details with but most people are going to get a version of the story that omits or interprets facts to serve your goals. Primarily for your own consumption but reified through telling others the story. These are all just examples of that practice, with themes that are commonly accepted today. This will continue, the themes will change. It’s b…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 10:51 AM
1

Thing about socializing is, if a group isn’t working for you, no big deal, find another one. Actually come to think of it that is no different from relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 10:43 AM
1

There’s also the fact that the “hot” guy is hot to lots of people. Guys who get the hottest women get attention from a lot of hot women. Guys who are not confident enough to pull women are not going to have opportunities to cheat and leave.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 02:00 AM
1

Is it that you don’t find it morally acceptable, or that you believe it would be seen as morally unacceptable therefore making you an immoral person?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 12:26 AM
5

Socializing absolutely. But you underestimate how miserable a partner can make you.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 12:22 AM
2

Yeah the main place you’re gonna run into trouble is if your partner doesn’t give a shit about things being clean. Some people freak the fuck out about messes and others do not notice them. Frankly merging lives is fucking insane to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 12:18 AM
1

Less hypocritical, more... both are playing different stupid games for different prizes.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/23 08:42 PM
4

Pussy isn't just pussy. It's validation that yes! You are fuckable. It's having a partner in a world that looks down on singledom. It is status. Honestly, kinda the same on the other side- women do not want to date someone who seems like a loser to their friends. Whether or not she sees the guy as a loser is not as important as whether she *thinks* her friends will.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/23 10:32 PM
1

Women are looking for quality, men are looking for consistency- whether that’s one partner or a string of randoms.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 09:52 PM
1

Usually a Karen is a white woman and the person throwing the term is a person who hates white women.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 06:19 PM
1

At that point in life (the one I'm in), it's no so much that love and romance are dead- they're just not *everything*. That all-consuming feeling of love when you're younger makes you do some really stupid things. In the moment that kind of love feels incredible, in retrospect it feels cringe.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 08:58 PM
1

Or you can be like me- spend 18-35 in serious relationships, including a marriage. Now I'm like... I've seen all the highs and lows, I don't have and do not want kids... Why would I get back on that train?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 08:54 PM
2

I think there are a few things going on here. You are correct that, given the option, many men would take a NSA fuck. You are posting content that (presumably) arouses people in NSFW subreddits, and because this is reddit, people can send messages to you directly. For men sending you messages, there's not much risk there and high reward- getting to fuck someone that *a lot of other people* think is hot. The primary driver of mate selection for many guys. People who have more negative outlooks on…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 08:48 PM
2

Yep. Poly tends to mean less time with more partners, because you tend to see other coupled people with their own obligations. It gets messy when someone starts dating a single person who wants as much time as possible. And yeah, transitioning from not-poly to poly is very hard. Monogamy involves an exchange of promises of security- you don't do things that activate your partner's insecurity. Polyamory just requires a lot of security in a committed relationship- you're going to do things that wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 06:29 AM
1

Ironically, mostly while not single and pretty much all with other not-single people. No, not normal. I'm not a shit about it though- I do not facilitate cheating and I have perfect confidence that all the people I hooked up with were not cheating. Part of it is just the circles I run in have a lot of nonmonogamous people, and when you know a couple you meet more of them. I was a virgin until 18. First partner was 18-22, was monogamous and didn't cheat or anything. Broke up, was single for 8 mon…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/23 09:23 PM
2

Meet and befriend one or two and you will quickly meet a ton of them. The app Feeld might be a good place to start
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/23 02:26 AM
1

IDK man. There are a lot of 'em out here. It's easy and uncomplicated.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/23 01:56 AM
4

7 a lifetime? What the hell? Like I’m no Casanova but I’m at 40
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/23 01:26 AM
3

“The Thrill Of The Chase”
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/23 01:24 AM
2

Blow always seems to make things go off the rails- but I think choosing to do it is choosing to leave the rails. Single 38 year old here in Los Angeles and lately I’m starting to get why guys my age go for women in their early 20’s. The options in my age bracket are very limited and usually include small humans. I don’t really want to settle down for now (was more or less settled down from 18-35 and I’m fuckin’ good on it for a bit). Lately most of my fucking around has been with swingers.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/23 01:23 AM
1

I also think hookup culture is the handmaiden of the more broad disposable dating culture that’s ostensibly liberating but actually seriously undermines people’s willingness and ability to make the necessary investments and commitments that underpin fulfilling relationships, and these cracks are continuing to appear and widen and leading to unrealistic expectations that convince us that someone better is just around the corner. It’s an insidious mindset which can ruin you if you don’t challenge …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 06:47 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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