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Seemedlikefun Archive

View 0 posts and 266 comments by Seemedlikefun on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

No sir the replacement did not happen AFTER , so stop saying that. She intended to leave for a very long time, made a plan, lied to your face and had already secured this new relationship, after lots of market research. If you have a support system, then use it. But most people just surround themselves with people who will go along with any false narrative that you want them to. Real support is that which speaks the truth in love, even if it requires calling you out on your bullshit. Nobody in t…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 03:28 PM
1

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1AY7E9117g/
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 07:57 PM
1

There are legal aid organizations that will help uncontested divorces, and assist you in making sure that the paperwork is correct when filing on your own, for a flat fee. Go together to get the paperwork notarized and filed with the county clerk.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 01:46 PM
3

20+ years of men's support and accountability groups under my belt. There is "always" someone else. The only difference is where they are, and how close. Always! Even if only at the emotional escape stage. Also, when you start to be honest with yourself. When she mentioned divorce, it wasn't really a surprise to you. Just that you chose to ignore the thousands of red flags waving in front of your rose colored glasses.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 01:39 PM
1

What county are you in?
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 01:46 PM
1

Not true.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 12:39 AM
2

What you should be worried about is the physical safety of your children.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 12:36 AM
2

The longer you wait, the more expensive it will be mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually and financially. If you have kids, the cost of staying in a toxic marriage is unfathomable if you pass the generational curse on to them. If you have people close to your situation advising you to get out, then GTFO! Don't let fear of the unknown, keep you trapped in a jail cell with no lock on the door.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 03:28 PM
1

So basically she's a two time loser, who bait and switched you with sex, and then baby trapped you. Have you DNA tested the kid? No, of course not, because he looks just like you...... Sigh!!!! Get off of reddit and into several lawyers offices, to secure the assets that you brought into the marriage, and have a clear understanding of the support laws in your state. Leaving her the house is only a good idea, if you won't be paying her to maintain it, and if your name is taken off of the mortgage…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 09:56 PM
2

What are you going to do when you find out that she's been banging her coworker for over a year, and his divorce has just been finalized. Will your divorce still be amicable when she wants you to finance her new lifestyle. Will you babysit while she gets her back blown out? What happens when you come to pick the kids up and he answers the door to the house you pay for, in the bathrobe the kids got you for Christmas?
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 06:41 PM
4

Someone has to be the villain in their story. Something has to be the justification for their terrible, lying, cheating, manipulative, duplicitous, behavior. It helps them sleep at night, blaming it all on you, or their parents, or their trauma, or the fact that they didn't get the "Chatty Cathy Doll" or " G.I. Joe with Kung Fu Grip" for Christmas when they were six. Usually the ex is low hanging fruit for blame shifting.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/24 10:11 PM
3

Why would you try to reconcile multiple times with someone who keeps running back to her lover? Why are you serving as her emotional vomit bag? Why don't you have a parenting app, and only communicate with her through that? Why aren't you afraid that a person who self harms, may not be safe for your child? C'mon man!
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 10:33 PM
1

Make sure that you get a parenting app written into the custody agreement. Also screenshot any disrespect or antagonizing that she does on social media. It sounds like her behavior is going to get a lot worse, and parental alienation is on the horizon. Ghost her except for any communication necessary for the kids, or divorce. Then make sure that it is legally documented. Watch this video: it contains vital info for you! https://youtu.be/l_HatV8o_1Y?si=vhTarqD9dlLUmgS5
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 12:15 PM
2

Document when she deviates from the parenting plan. It's not malicious, and she doesn't have to know you are doing it. Ask her to text, email or calendar invite, so that you can keep it straight in your head. Thank me later!
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 03:40 PM
3

I'll take that never happened for a $1500 Alex! Unless this guy lives in the state of Uzbekistan.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/24 04:13 PM
2

Get a guardian ad litem.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 09:22 PM
3

Clunky.... Expensive? What's your mental health worth? OFW will get you the tools needed to care for your kids, document the things needed when this tactic moves to the next one. You establish it from the beginning and have the data available when she tries to screw you over when her B.S. stops working. Research it and ask for it to be written into the custody order for the first two years, and see if it's needed afterwards. If she's living in your head rent free, with smiles and pictures, just …
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 11:25 AM
12

Get the parenting App and block her. She is just trying to pour ghost pepper sauce on your open wounds. Stop letting her do it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 12:41 AM
2

Just think if you were in an alimony state. How much financial gain could exceed years of alimony? Get the deposition done, and get her out of your life.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 09:10 PM
7

Too soon!
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 08:39 PM
1

I had a friend with similar circumstances. He double dipped civil service and had a significant disability rating. He transferred his compensation in a way that reduced his alimony quite a bit. Now sure of the details.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/24 12:22 AM
2

Johnny Lee tried to tell us the answer, a long time ago! https://youtu.be/8mxIHL6d-RM?si=yUXbKR5EK5u2Krid
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 08:12 PM
3

File the papers yourself. Go to your county court house website, and download the papers for dissolution of marriage without minor children. There are step by step instructions on the process. Print out three copies. Fill out a working copy where you divide your assets 50/50. Attach copies of your bank statement history for by the length of the marriage. Once you have everything filled out, you bring it to your wife and ask her to sign it. Make sure there are two witnesses there to sign as well.…
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 10:58 PM
1

What does your attorney have to say about it?
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 12:31 AM
5

You are absolutely correct! Anyone who talks about the reality of women's behavior is immediately called a misogynist or incel, and is shouted down for daring to go against the narrative of the modern empowered woman, fighting against the enslaving patriarchy that keeps them from pursuing happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 10:08 PM
1

You can't afford not to have one. Sell a f'n kidney if you have too! Just get a consultation.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 09:32 PM
5

Boundaries, my friend, boundaries. The only thing that allows evil to prosper, is for good men to do nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 03:50 PM
1

Hire an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 02:32 PM
7

The issue is that people don't want to look at the root causes that have created this epidemic in western societies. In the U.S. 1 out of four females have been victims of sexual abuse, yet no one wants to corelate that to modern women behaviors. Take your pick from divorce, with child custody to female teachers having sex with minor children. Females are a protected species, and subject to lack of accountability. Why, is a question that the guardrails that are supposed to keep us from going off…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 12:08 PM
2

Have the marriage annulled.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 01:40 AM
1

Says the 36 year old living in his parents basement, tR0[[|πg on a throwaway account.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 01:26 PM
2

So what are you doing to protect yourself and therefore your children's future? What firewalls are in place to prevent or mitigate the damage WHEN your wife goes full psycho on you? Right now you are being rocked to sleep with the " 50/50 " and "what's best for the kids" smoke screen that she's giving you. It's right out of the modern woman handbook on how to destroy your STBX. Limbo isn't over, it's just the enemy stockpiling ammunition.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 04:38 PM
2

Spend some of that $400K on a good therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 01:26 AM
11

Marriage counseling with someone with undealt with trauma, is WOMBAT: waste of money, brains and time! That is not my saying, rather some advice given to me by a wise man. I didn't heed that advice because I wanted to leave no stone unturned trying to save my marriage. Result: I wasted three years, buckets of tears, and thousands of dollars. I would have been better off paying that money to an attorney and spending that time healing.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 10:09 PM
1

You are still waiting on her to do everything. It's hard to help someone, that doesn't want to help themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 12:24 AM
2

Let me guess. She's probably not asked you once about your sexcapades, but you did with her. Sounds like a good topic at your next therapy session.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 10:00 PM
1

Ask about discovery for marital assets. Just because it's in her accounts doesn't mean that it's unassailable. Also ask about stipulations regarding her cohabitating while your child is in her house.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 09:52 PM
1

Awful decision on the child support. It's not for you, but them. Take it and open up 429 accounts for the kids. C'mon man.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 09:42 PM
0

You can have it written into the custody agreement, for younger children.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 11:39 PM
2

Just another form of intermittent reinforcement. She's got you just like Pavlov's Dog! Next you'll chew your own leg off for her
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 11:34 PM
0

Hey dumbass, Lumpbutt has been a champion on men's forums helping young and old, negotiate the terrible hazards of infidelity and divorce. Just the fact that you are too far below on the intelligence scale to deserve a response, should send you scurrying back to your rat hole. His posts are to help! Sometimes you have to tell people what they need to hear, not what they want to hear.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 03:10 PM
2

Just go back to your previous posts and read the replies, which you've ignored to this point. If you just want an ear to listen. Your therapist is probably the best place to vent, but we'll listen too.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 02:49 PM
6

I've shared this before but, my brother decided before graduating from college, that he would never marry. This was 40 years ago and he stated all of the reasons shared on this thread. Everyone thought he was crazy. He's had amazing girlfriends over the years, who all thought that they could change his mind about marriage. They were wrong! He saved a minimum of 10% of every take home paycheck that he earned since graduation and maximized his employer's matching contributions to retirement accoun…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 03:34 PM
2

Sell a F'n kidney if you have to. Get an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 02:00 AM
1

Bullshit! Sell a fucking kidney. She takes off with your kid and this is your answer?
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 12:27 AM
1

What is the rest of the story. You spent 100k and got nothing???????? Not even 50/50?
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 12:17 AM
1

If you are looking for the additional questions you should be asking yourself, they are in this vid. https://youtu.be/vTIoFHdWsf0?si=mxqw91MBYlUpjetP
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 12:10 AM
2

You need a written plan vetted by your attorney that weighs options and provides choices. Your wife has her ears full of advice from seasoned divorcees about all of the tips and tricks to steamroll you. There is no such thing as amicable here. The first course of her plan is to get you to think that it's possible. Check out the link and get your ass in gear. Si vis PACEM para bellum! https://www.survivedivorce.com/
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 12:35 AM
1

Get your kids into counseling asap! Change your fucking job if you have to. They need at least one sane parent to thrive; be that parent. Make Your ex will give up 50/50 custody and that percentage of child support .
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 12:00 PM
2

The tale as old as time!
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 04:04 PM
2

Also pull your credit reports, apply for a credit card that she is not an approved user on, close shared accounts and freeze your credit. Gather originals of tax forms and returns for the previous 5 years. Pull medical records for the kids and retirement statements from both of your employers. Secure passports, car titles and insurance policy information.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 03:06 AM
4

You should press forward and get a legal separation. Insist that her getting therapy be a part of the custody agreement. Petition for a guardian ad litem when her behavior gets erratic again. If your wife is bi polar or has a clusterB personality disorder, you need to lay the groundwork to keep your kids safe.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 02:32 AM
1

Wisdom spoken here!
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 02:22 AM
1

Relationship thermal nuclear war!
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 02:19 AM
1

Just google the percentage of wives that divorce their husbands after bariatric surgery. The ozempic and other blood sugar meds being prescribed for weight loss are just another tool in the hypergamy tool belt.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 02:15 AM
1

Serve her first.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 02:08 AM
1

Stop it! Get a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 09:36 PM
3

You've been told before. Guardian ad Litem.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 05:26 PM
4

I'm literally sitting in a cancer center now for an appointment. I am in this situation because I decided to stay. I have no one but myself to blame. Heed the advice given here and leave ASAP. Staying is the same as drinking poison every day. It will catch up to you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 03:56 PM
1

WOMBAT: Waste of money, brains and time!
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 02:56 AM
2

Infidelity is a class 4 misdemeanor in Florida. Use it as leverage in the settlement if you have to. Statute 798.062 is punishable with up to 60 days in jail and a $500 fine. If the paternity tests prove it, tell her that you will submit the evidence in court, and ask the local D.A. to charge them both. No one has been actually arrested for this in decades, but it may be fun to try. (I'm not an attorney, and this is not legal advice)
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 01:59 AM
2

Get the divorce done as quickly as possible, before the limerence wears off. Find a local mens divorce support group, and see a therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 09:59 PM
1

Everyone talks shit about Florida, but the legislature just passed two laws that will level the playing field for men in the state. HB1301 and SB1416 deal with custody rights, challenging paternity and abolishing permanent alimony. Several other states have similar pending legislation in the works. A family pack of DNA tests can be a fun thing for the kids, if you keep your mouth shut long enough.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 09:42 PM
7

Misandry is woven into the job description for mods on many subs dealing with infidelity, custody, alimony or divorce. I was muted then banned from a sub by a mod that they eventually had to throw off and ban herself. This after hundreds of men had been permanently banned just because she didn't like what was said. I requested to be reinstated, and they wanted me to justify why they should do so.... I declined! That sub like many others, are just toxic soup where there is no real conversation ha…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 09:28 PM
3

Omg! Soooo unhealthy. Do you have a trusted friend or family member to counsel with?
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 08:38 PM
3

59, married 36 years one adult child. I forced individual counseling and then marriage counseling several years ago. Wife lied and obsfucated her way through and refused to do the homework that would expose her infidelity. I pulled the plug on the therapy then, and began to implement the rest of my long range exit plan. This plan includes the recently passed legislation in my state abolishing permanent alimony. A few more milestones and financial decisions, then I'll file. I told her years ago: …
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 07:13 PM
2

Yoda says: foolish this one is!
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 02:37 AM
2

Get a lawyer immediately. Thats the advice you need.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 02:33 AM
3

File tomorrow and don't leave the house unless you have a signed custody agreement. What are you waiting for? The false domestic violence charges, and being taken to jail? By the time you bond out, she'll have a temporary restraining order put on you, then you'll have to leave the house. Wake up cupcake!
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 01:35 AM
2

You lose them the same way you got them.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 02:16 PM
2

She suggested a roommate or open marriage? If so, It's been over for her a long time. Wishful thinking is a waste of resources. The thing that took me the longest to align between my heart, mind and gut, was that she checked out of our marriage and I was the last one to figure it out. But... I utilized the roommate time to create a plan to exit on my terms.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 08:51 PM
2

Well think of it as an opportunity to lay the foundation for the rest of your life. Most men are both emotionally and financially wrecked during and after divorce. A friend of mine bought out his ex for the house that he put all of the money and sweat equity into during their marriage. His money was their money, but her money was her money. He had it appraised lower than the market value due to unfinished projects. He rented out the casita on airbnb and rented two bedrooms to grad students. Stea…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 08:14 PM
1

Get that spousal support to help you get back on your feet. This is especially important if you need CEU's to maintain your credentials.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 07:37 PM
1

Let me guess, you took her back for "the kids sake"
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 01:19 AM
1

Record and report her self harm threats. Join a support group for suicidal spouses. Get your financial, emotional, legal and spiritual house in order. Keep your mouth shut. Stop talking about leaving, and leave!
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 05:10 PM
1

https://youtu.be/HR8Qu3FBfTA Is this what you are going through?
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 03:46 PM
2

Make sure you include specific details regarding no overnight stays for, or with boyfriends/ girlfriends while kids are in the house. Also add right of refusal for after school activities if they conflict with custody time. This way one parent cannot sign kids up for things without consulting the other if it infringes on their time.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 07:49 PM
1

Said every guy who cohabitated with a separated wife, and then was jailed on false DV charges!
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 05:03 PM
3

Have you at least consulted with an attorney to find out exactly what your options are?
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 04:52 PM
1

Looking at your post history, you have bigger problems.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 12:00 AM
0

Sell a f'n kidney if you have to, but get a damn lawyer. The fact that you let her empty the bank account proves that you aren't mentally prepared for this battle.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 11:51 PM
2

SIASD! Why are you putting everything at risk by letting her stay in your house? C'mon man.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 11:30 PM
1

File a motion for third party exchanges, a guardian ad litem and to have all communication go through the court appointed parenting App. Have the motion document your concern that her growing instability may result in further false accusations and parental alienation.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 09:38 PM
2

Ask your attorney if you can change the locks, and legally document her unsubstantiated claims. Then make sure you have a friend there when she comes to pick up her stuff. My buddy moved all of his STBX's personal things into one room so she didn't have to comb the house for it. He had a friend video inventory the house and each item as it was handled.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 09:25 PM
3

Do you have a court appointed guardian ad litem. That's the only evidence a judge will entertain in a hearing besides police reports and CPS reports.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 08:43 PM
1

Good man! Due Diligence always eventually pays off. Sometimes it takes time, but yields dividends.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 09:08 PM
1

Make sure that your attorney enters it into the record.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 07:09 PM
2

Keep your mouth shut about it with family and friends. Consult your attorney ASAP. Make sure you communicate that you want this information used to maximize your goals!
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 07:03 PM
1

So I assume that you've been dealing with this for a while. Do you have any legally obtained documentation about her dangerous erratic behavior, false accusations and parental alienation? Please tell me that you will be going into court with more than your dick in your hand? Have you filed with CPS that you are concerned about the kid's welfare because of her false allegations and escalating behavior? If not, you'll probably get steamrolled.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 07:00 PM
1

Stop asking people here. Talk to your damn attorney. Every situation is different and many attorneys are just too lazy to want to use this information effectively. Tell your lawyer what you want and what you are willing to do to achieve it. They should be willing to fight for what you want. If they say it's not worth the trouble, ask them why and don't settle for a bull crap answer.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 10:51 PM
2

Correct that it is not easy, but men are interested in friendships with others who won't burden their already overloaded lives. Not for gain, but so they don't feel like they've been dragged by a horse after dealing with you. Men expend all of their emotional bandwith on wives, work, and kids. They don't need another dead short draining their emotional batteries. Make a friend and Be a friend.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 01:25 PM
6

None of us had any reason to think that but....... Asking for a break, then divorce when you should still be in the honeymoon period, speaks to a deep pathology of one kind or another. You are too close to it right now, but eventually your eyes will drop the rose colored glasses that have been disguising the multiple red flags that you refused to acknowledge. Eventually you'll get there as a part of your healing. Seek out the things you were passionate about before you met her and new brothers a…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 11:17 AM
1

Hire an off duty leo to be there, and you be there too. What does your lawyer say about this?
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 01:52 AM
1

Please tell me you have a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 01:49 AM
3

Don't be too hard on yourself, but also don't avoid the hard self reflective questions. Processing the anger and the ways to avoid this situation in the future are invaluable. https://youtu.be/vTIoFHdWsf0
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 01:41 AM
3

There are organisations that help you find the right person for your location and situation. They have a serious training and vetting process. Start with a call to 211 or 411 whichever your jurisdiction uses, or google au pair near me.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 02:39 PM
2

A live in your house babysitter.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 02:21 PM
1

https://youtu.be/vTIoFHdWsf0 Some interesting points on the whole mental process, and self reflection.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 01:58 PM
3

What you are doing is securing the best possible, emotional, physical and financial future for you and your daughter. Nothing more, and nothing less is acceptable. Finish the task!
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 01:55 PM
7

Call your attorney and start the official eviction process now, and find good daycare for the kids, hire a au pair if you have too. Get her out of your house without your children.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 01:51 PM
1

Is this custody arrangement recorded with your attorney?
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 11:14 AM
2

Make sure that you have access to childcare, school and medical portals and websites as a point of contact and approved pick up. Soooo many dads are okey doked during custody fights, negotiations and hearings because they can be portrayed as absentee, or uninvolved . Once a false TRO is filed, it can take months to get things straight. By that time, a new narrative and normal are set as precedent for custody. If your kids teachers, coaches, or doctors have never seen you, thats a problem.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 11:08 AM
2

You should consider using a parenting app for communication and break the expectation that you will hang around during visitation swaps. A good healthy social life away from her, will help you regulate the emotional rollercoaster, and help you start to heal. Don't stay in the same environment that hurt you.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 09:43 PM
2

Yup! Typical personality disorder behavior. She wants you to supply her emotional juice, whenever SHE wants it. It's to control you, even after she discarded you. She does it so she can keep you on the hook. Think of it like an emotional vampire.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 09:24 PM
2

https://www.choosingtherapy.com/hoovering/
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 09:11 PM
1

Sounds like it may be a form of hoovering.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 07:54 PM
1

I saw a news story a couple of months ago about a guy in Brazil who caught his wife screwing a homeless guy in their car. The married couple were fitness trainers, the AP lived in the woods. You just can't make this stuff up! Edit: here's the link https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10630427/Personal-trainer-finds-church-going-wife-cheating-homeless-man-Video.html
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 01:38 AM
3

My uncle once said, "Sell a F'n kidney if you have to! Just make sure you get a good attorney!"
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 01:27 AM
10

Hire a mean bulldog of a solicitor, and a P.I. immediately! figure out how to take the best possible care of your little ones now, and how you will do so with primary custody. Charge her with abandonment if it turns out to be what this really is, that's why you need legal advice before she takes off.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 06:34 PM
6

Your custody agreement should prevent her from relocating out of the area. Why aren't you calling your attorney?
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 06:14 PM
3

She is setting you up to be the disappointing parent. The one that seems like he's never there for the important moments. You'll end up being the less fun and less engaged one. Then her new boyfriend will fill in the gaps.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 12:19 PM
1

Ask your attorney if a guardian ad litem would be in your best interest. She may be playing a long game moving toward parental alienation, so you need to get your concerns legally documented early. Don't sleep on this, because your ex is way ahead of you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 11:29 AM
2

Shut up and file! Get your ducks in a row, financially. Gather important papers for taxes medical and retirement including access to all of the kids doctors, school and daycare. Interview several good attorneys. Every time you have those meaningless arguments and threaten divorce, the more convinced she is that you never will. Each one just increases her disrespect. Is she right? Go to survivedivorce.com it has checklists and resources to help you be able to negotiate this without getting destro…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 04:46 PM
1

Ok. Good Luck.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 07:49 PM
2

I hate to ask but are you sure that you are the biological father? It could be part of her plan because she knows otherwise. She gets away clean, then petitions the court for a DNA test from the safety of two states away. Without a legal precedent of custody, all you will end up with is your johnson in your hand. Once she and he file for parental rights, you are screwed. She also has her mom for support with the kid. She'll accuse you of not having a decent place for the child to live once you m…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 05:26 PM
6

No! Noo! Noooo! Noooooooooo!!!!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 03:01 PM
1

Yes but it may be the difference between spending the night in jail or not. It's a lot easier trying to explain false charges with papers you filed in your hands, than just your dick. "I never thought she'd do this to me!" Said every guy, as the cell door shuts. Many LE jurisdictions have statutes that say that DV calls mandate that one of the participants must be removed from the residence. 99% of the time it's the male, and many times he is taken to jail. I sat on a jury for a case with this s…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 01:15 PM
1

You are either naive or stupid! Paternity fraud is built into the family court system. It's about money, not justice. https://youtu.be/hcsG0eqfkE8
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 04:00 AM
1

File first before she hits you with false domestic violence charges, to get you out of the house. You'll spend lots of time and money playing defense while she permanently gets the upper hand.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 03:55 AM
1

Go to survivedivorce.com they have lots of resources including 50 expert tips to prepare for divorce. Thank me later.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 03:49 AM
2

The reason she is doing this is because it has worked in the past. You back down, she loses more respect for you until there's none left. Then she cheats, files for divorce or both. Tell her she fucked up and you'll see her in court. She won't stop until she can walk away with your balls in her purse.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 03:34 AM
3

When I asked about MC on a forum, the consensus was that it shouldn't even be considered until individual counseling has been happening for a while. One prophetic soul replied to me that marriage counseling is WOMBAT: waste of money brains and time. Three years, thousands of dollars, and millions of dead brain cells later, this proved to be the most accurate assessment I received. Whenever she wants space it really means that there is another dick she wants to try unimpeded. Save yourself money …
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 03:27 AM
1

Don't tell me..... You are filing pro se aren't you?
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 11:07 PM
1

Have it written into the parenting plan that she must put all appointments and changes into the mandated coparenting app. Petition that she is using this as an attempt at parental alienation.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 09:40 PM
2

Sell plasma for cash.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/23 07:24 PM
3

Lawyer and parenting app order from judge.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/23 07:19 PM
2

Well done! Enjoy a much deserved victory lap, then get back to work securing the best possible future for yourself and kids. This will involve never operating out of emotion and jeopardizing what you've already accomplished; and being prepared for her next assault on you. It will probably come in the form of parental alienation, and passing her generational curse to your kids. How will you prevent this from happening?
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 01:19 PM
1

Yes! Get a divorce. Every minute you delay, the more it will cost you in lost life, time, emotional pain and money.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 01:35 AM
1

Use a parenting app.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 01:27 AM
2

Use a court approved parenting app for all communication. It will provide a legal record of her unwillingness to provide the proper level of engagement for the wellbeing of the kids. Ask for a guardian ad litem to suggest the ones they utilize.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 01:24 AM
1

Are you legally separated? Or are you going to eat half of her debt?
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 05:14 PM
2

Let me guess? You are going to take the moral high ground while she violates the laws of God, nature and human decency. You'll be able to hold your head high in the end. Wrong! Your head will be high, because she'll leave it up on a pike for all to see after she vanquishes you. Defense only wins championships when balanced with dynamic offense.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 05:01 PM
1

"Chump don't want da hep, Chump don't get da hep"! https://youtu.be/fXSLcYQHqFQ
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 09:36 PM
1

Stop talking! She's not coming back, and she's not your therapist! Pain shopping nets you pain.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/23 09:54 PM
1

You've given her the ethical heads up several times recently. Anything else is just stirring the pot. Gather financial, medical, and other important papers and secure them for the discovery phase. Hire your attorney and tell them that mediation is what you would prefer but want to be armed for warfare. Direct deposit your paycheck into a separate account but continue to pay bills as normal. Change passwords on anything that may become a means to siphon off assets. Pull credit reports and histori…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/23 04:56 PM
2

Your daughter is almost an adult. She'll have the biggest influence on where she "goes"! You need to start thinking in terms of her wellbeing before you make emotional mistakes like this in the future. You should be working out short term and long range planning with your attorney. If not I'll be buying your best gear, or that classic car on Facebook marketplace.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 10:25 PM
1

It's a primary way to transition from defense to offense, and possibly get favorable custody terms. Don't assume he's taking care of it. Ask him.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 08:41 PM
1

Sell a kidney if you have to. Try Men's Divorce Family Law in Orlando. A friend of mine went there.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 08:04 PM
1

So you've been sitting for a week with a RO hanging over your head with no attorney? WTF!
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 07:56 PM
1

Sell a kidney if you have to, but get a damn lawyer and file.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 07:51 PM
2

How is your attorney going to present her mental health issues to the court?
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 07:44 PM
16

Dump the GF and fix your picker!
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/23 09:53 PM
2

Right behind you my man. 36 years and I am coming into the final stages of my three year exit plan. Checking off each step has been the thing that keeps me hopeful and motivated.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/23 09:49 PM
6

Write down everything you want to say to her, then don't give it to her. Reread the the letter every time you begin to waver from the decision to be at a safe distance from her. Reread it every time you lack the motivation and drive to go to the gym, make the appointment with the IC, work overtime, or ignore her baiting and taunting. Write the damn letter, and burn it when the ink is dry on your divorce. If you let anything out, let it be this note attached when she gets served: " Unconditional …
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/23 09:39 PM
2

Open up a new account and have your pension and ssdi direct deposited there. You can go to the web portals and input the acct and routing numbers there. Go to the bank and have histories printed out for your joint accounts. This will establish the balances in case she drains the accounts. Consult several attorneys making sure you ask about whether your benefits qualify as marital property. Hire one and file. Make sure that you do what they say, and that you keep your mouth shut until the papers …
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 02:38 PM
1

You need to pull the trigger now. At 49 you are still young enough to recover for retirement. I stayed for financial stability for my daughter and our no fighting roommate marriage still screwed her up. She, now an adult, has an attachment disorder that she is working on with a therapist. She came to me and thanked me for staying, but wishes that I had divorced her mom while she was still in school, and is supportive of my gray divorce plans.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 06:32 PM
1

"Her own money"???? Uh, No! The question is that obviously this behavior is a symptom of an issue that hasn't been addressed. Possibly some type of trauma or personality disorder. It's shit or get off of the pot time, because at the 10 year mark, a whole different set of rules may apply to spousal support. Her family is not on your side if they helped hide her actions. Trauma never stops, the behaviors change over time and it usually takes even more, to recognize the new manifestations. You don'…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 06:08 PM
1

Time is not on your side. Que Freddy Fender song here!
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 05:48 PM
1

Men Only Family Law. Offices in Orlando.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 05:40 PM
2

Communication should be exclusively through your attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 05:36 PM
7

Walk Away Wife Syndrome! Plus all of the other red flags you mention in your post..... 1. Her age 2. Age of kids 3. Her vocation 4. She earns more than you 5. Marriage in the 7-10 year time frame = she either has someone else, or has someone else in mind.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/23 07:23 PM
1

Ask him about constructive abandonment and whether this case applies.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 10:26 PM
2

All this is designed to do is put you on the defensive. Did you discuss the fact that you knew the tro was coming with your attorney ahead of time? What is his strategy to get on offense. Are you holding back trying to be mr. sensible and traveling the mythical high road? Guess what? There is no high road that takes you and your children to a place where you and they are emotionally, physically and financially well. The road to that place is fortified with concertina wire, machine gun nests and …
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 09:34 PM
2

No brother, what's big and empty is the space that your ex used to fill with stress, drama and pain. Feel the emptiness then lean into it and fill it with regaining who you are, and what you want to be. Consider coming up with ideas to generate passive income to help you recover financially. My friend renovated a detatched garage next to the house and rents it out to grad students. Steady income and mature tenents, no hassels.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 06:55 PM
2

You should have documented her behavior. Even now never talk to her without a VAR or video recording. Have you filed yet?
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 06:34 PM
2

It's Pandora's box. Don't open it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 05:09 PM
5

Closure truely begins when the ink is dry on the divorce documents.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/23 06:02 PM
1

Sorry to hear. I move to a recliner when I wake up and do a few alpha wave generating exercises.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/23 05:51 PM
1

Extra strength melatonin 10mg may help with the sleep.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 11:30 PM
1

Carry a VAR at all times. Also have your mail sent to a post office box instead of delivered to the house. Change the passwords and phone numbers associated on any joint accounts. Do Not Sleep with her. Repeat: Do NOT Sleep with her!
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 06:38 AM
3

I was at a conference with a co-worker when his adult daughter called and said that the wife had a moving truck backed up to the house and a group of men were loading it. We were two hours from catching our flight home. He returned to a 75% empty house. I told him to call the police and change the locks. He did neither. Two weeks later, she came and took the new lawnmower out of the garage.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 06:29 AM
1

Make sure that you have a couple of friends there as witnesses and to move her stuff from the house to the front yard. They will not destroy your walls like her friends will. Also go by your local law enforcement and let them know what will be happening at your house. If you have to call them, you have already established that it is your property.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 06:17 AM
2

Does he know about the divorce? Please don't leave him in the dark or lie about it. My parents separated three weeks after graduation, and two months before I was supposed to leave for college. It was a lot to deal with. They stayed together only to get me (the youngest) through. They lied and said that they had grown apart. I found out it was infidelity, 1000 miles from home with no support. They stole my agency to decide what ultimately was right for me by hiding the truth, then tried to justi…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 06:03 AM
1

Aaaannddd?
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 11:41 PM
3

You sound codependent and afraid to be alone. Maybe individual counseling would do you some good. Also no contact will get you off of the emotional rollercoaster.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 11:14 PM
3

It's the same value system that keeps men trapped in shit marriages because of sunken cost fallacies. Quantifying helps some people process, even when it's not helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 05:21 PM
3

Why did you not negotiate for spousal support?
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 05:18 PM
1

If you are going to file, do it asap. You need legal and proper documentation of the substance abuse and debilitated behavior. You need to have your attorney petition for a guardian ad litem, and consider filing on grounds of constructive abandonment.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 05:05 PM
1

Congrats on making it through the hellish gauntlet of divorce. Sad to see you go, but the mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health for you and your children are paramount. Persue those relentlessly. Live well and when the wounds heal over, please consider coming back and helping newbies navigate their way to the other side. The only way we can end this pestilence is to prepare those who come after us, to not make the same mistakes that we did. Blessings to you!
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 04:50 PM
4

So many bodies buried on the noble high road to divorce hell. Use your damn training and decimate your adversary. Sometimes a sledgehammer is the correct tool to kill the mosquito. Your ultimate goal is to secure the mental, emotional, physical and financial health for you and your children. Get busy.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/22 05:45 AM
1

"Informal verbal parenting time arrangement" is the same as saying I'm bending over in anticipation and expectation to be reamed where where the sun doesn't shine by my wife who is playing global thermal nuclear war, while I'm playing candyland.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 07:59 PM
1

Not to add insult to injury, but I think there's way more than not paying the GAL that your attorney is pissed about. Reading your post history, leads me to believe that she's just trying to remediate the situation at this point. You've been through hell! My deepest sympathies.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 04:40 AM
1

Ask your attorney. Don't say anything to your stbx about it. Even if the text messages have no legal value, they may be very helpful in the court of public opinion!
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 02:30 PM
7

Have the marriage annulled if you can. Stop having sex with her.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 02:27 PM
2

I would have carefully put a pin hole in each of the remaining ones in the box.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 02:21 PM
2

Get off of here and hire an attorney. Open up new bank accounts and move your deposits there. Man up!
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 08:21 PM
1

Yup! It's called trickletruth. It feels like having acid dumped on your heart, after they fried it with a blowtorch.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 07:57 PM
2

Your attorney should slap you in the face if you ever say out loud " all you want is 50/50". At this point you should have discussed any possible scenarios with your attorney, and what your response will be. Due diligence my friend is not playing defense.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/22 02:14 PM
1

The plan is good if you legally document the process so that she can't come back later and say that she agreed under duress. Get a mediator and a guardian ad litem involved if your attorney reccommends you doing so.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 02:54 PM
2

Help her move out so that you can start to legally document the custody agreement. You should have an idea of how your marital finances are required to be discovered and split according to your jurisdiction. Negotiate and mediate around this by offering her short term conveniences that will pay off for you long term. Pay her lease for six months in advance, in exchange for her relinquishing any rights to the house. Give her any furniture that she wants, while extolling the advantages of an uncon…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 01:23 AM
1

We have another blow coming in Thursday.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 12:59 AM
18

I stopped reading at verbal custody agreement. I just don't understand why men refuse to do their due diligence until they are getting steamrolled or locked up with false DV charges. What happened? Did we miss that day in common sense school?
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/22 02:15 PM
10

The incentive of guaranteed parting gifts and cash prizes.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 10:04 PM
2

Codependent Bro. Get some individual counseling. The one finger I'm pointing at you has three pointing at me. You are not thinking clearly!
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 05:06 PM
2

Keep your mouth shut. This sub is littered with the corpses of guys who couldn't do that. If you want answers (which you'll never get honesty) wait until after the ink is dry on the divorce. Gather the evidence to use as a negotiation tool.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 11:36 PM
0

Communication should only take place through a parenting app. Document her continually encroaching on your parenting time, and trying to alienate your kid through your attorney. You can take the high road being the best dad, and not allow her to continue her bullshit. Man up! Everytime you let her get away with this crap, it just cements in her mind that the disrespect is warranted.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/22 06:04 PM
1

Couples counseling is as one guy on here refers to as WOMBAT. Waste of money brains and time. I wish I knew about this sub three years ago. I wasted thousands of dollars and my Self respect, doing counseling with a broken individual. It can't possibly work.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 07:12 PM
2

Whatever you do, don't sleep with her! Love bombing is the #1 manipulation tactic in situations like this.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 03:28 PM
1

If you don't follow through and divorce her, what little if any respect she may have once had for you will be gone. She will feel completely justified in all of her behavior. If you turn back now, it will be the beginning of the end.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 03:25 PM
2

Exactly!!! She keeps him on the leash, has a built in gardner and handyman. He continues to pay all of the bills and make sure her car is serviced and clean, while she persues her love interest who was already in the works long before she asked for the new arrangements. Your reply should be stickied on this sub.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 02:33 PM
2

You said "her kids?" Did you mean Our kids? Under normal circumstances I'd consider the offer, but the housing market is going to tank over the next few years. Plus what happens if things go south and she solidifies the monkey branch that she's planning to swing to. One false DV charge, and you are out on the street without a place to plug in, or tickle the Steinway. Sell the house, take the equity split and she can rent in the same school district for the kids. Get an attorney and file first.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 02:18 PM
6

What did a lawyer say about this plan? Are these assumptions that you've made, agreeable to the court without representation being involved? What happens when the "Clueless Alien" appears, Accuses you of domestic abuse, which compelled her to move out to be "safe"? Without legal advice and proper documentation, you've got nothing but your dick in your hand, if she changes the narrative.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/22 04:32 PM
7

The what if's are the wrong questions. Usually asked from the perspective on someone who hasn't faced the reality that their ex was never the person that you thought they were. The fake persona is living rent free in your head. If you haven't started yet, get into individual counseling soon. Also look for a divorced men's group near you. You need to focus on being the best person and Dad for your kids. Dwelling on the IF is not conducive to getting there. Good Luck!
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/22 12:59 PM
2

Not to be mean, but what have you been doing over the past 8 months to secure the future for your children? Have you consulted an attorney and documented your care of the children with schooling, and daycare? Have you itemized how you've met their needs emotionally, medically and financially? If she was smart enough to put you in this situation holding the debt, what else has she got cooking?
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/22 08:19 PM
2

Legal aid, public defender or Sell a fucking kidney if you have to, but get a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/22 12:36 AM
1

Don't depend on your phone alone when recording. Get a VAR and a gopro or other inexpensive camera. Have her served by an off duty LEO. Many moonlight as process servers. Have a plan for living arrangements and how to secure your valuables, in case things go south. You also could have a pre-emptive conversation with your local police agency who would respond to a 911 call. Before you do anything, have a consultation with an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 03:50 PM
6

Dial your local information help line and ask about divorced men's support groups near you. In our area it's 211. You will get through this, but actively seek out others to make the journey with you. Iron sharpens Iron!!
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/22 05:21 PM
1

I married a childhood sexual abuse survivor. She turned out to not be the person I thought I was marrying. We were young and I had no clue what a red flag was. She hid her trauma behaviors well..... until she didn't need to anymore. Several men have mentioned their ex having BPD. I believe that pathology is involved a lot more than any of us are aware, or the family court system wants commonly known. 1 in 4 females, and 1 in 6 males are victims of abuse, according to studies, yet the current sta…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/22 04:21 PM
3

You are in a war of attrition. Tell the lawyer to get his ass in gear. If you capitulate now, it will never stop.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/22 03:44 PM
4

The answer is at least 80% of them are, because that's the percentage of divorces initiated by women. It saddens me when men get run over by this same train even though they watched a family member or friend get hit by the same one running on the same tracks. We should be shouting from the mountain tops to keep our brothers from the complacent naivete that has them sitting on their hands while their STBX is plotting their total destruction. Why won't more men file first, and control the narrativ…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/22 12:53 AM
4

You need to get into individual therapy. She is living rent free in your head. Counseling will serve the eviction notice to the ghosts.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 04:19 PM
2

It's worth a consultation with an attorney to understand your options in your jurisdiction. Also have a law enforcement officer process server. Let him know about your concerns regarding her behavior once she is served. You can also petition for a gardian ad litem proactively.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 07:45 PM
2

Hey bud, not to be mean but you were given excellent advice on your previous posts. This forum is a great place to vent, get support and receive advice that was aquired the hard way... by experience. This hard won wisdom is shared here freely because no one wants others to make the same mistakes we did. We want to help you avoid falling for the " my situation is different" lie that gets men destroyed. I failed on my go around, and don't want the same to happen to you, so here is a gentle smack i…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 07:58 PM
0

DNA test the kid.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 04:40 PM
0

You are a fool to wait.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 04:38 PM
1

Go to Walgreens and burn them onto a CD then delete them from your phone. Archive the FB photos and save them in the cloud. Later when you get to the right place, then make the decision to keep or destroy them.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 03:31 PM
2

So when she finalizes the arrangement with your replacement, accuses you of abuse and has you removed from your house, so that you can maintain her lifestyle and finance her new relationship while maybe getting to see your kids every other weekend. Where will you live then? Probably in a rooming house with 5 other roommates, that's the definition of a jam, Not serving your wife papers and at least having a shot at 50/50 custody with shared expenses. Edit: you are suffering from codependancy. I k…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/22 06:01 PM
1

You are young enough to recover mentally and financially plus stay on track for retirement, if you pull the trigger now. Especially since she is working and has an earning potential that can be considered in the settlement. Consult several attorneys asap. You've described the symptoms of something very serious with her behaviors. Counseling will be a complete waste of time and money. People tried to tell me the same thing, and I refused to listen. It cost me years and thousands of dollars that I…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/22 12:43 PM
1

Find an attorney and file.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 12:57 AM
14

Once she says she wants to separate, the translation is she wants to try out another guy to see if the branch she's trying to swing over to, will hold. Its over and you should plan accordingly. There are few and far between amicable divorces. Usually when she says that's what she wants, the last scene of the movie has her driving over your broken ruined body with her boyfriend, in the new Mercedes that you are paying for.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 12:50 AM
5

The answer is because men have been asleep at the wheel while the very legislators that we elect earned their fortunes that enable them to run for office from having their faces shoved in the trough filled with the bodies of divorced men. The entire family court system is the cash cow that feeds an ecosystem that encourages anything that will sustain it's existence, including hypergamy, lying under oath, and the filing of false charges. What they don't yet realize is that ultimately they are des…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 12:33 PM
3

I wouldn't go the attorney route. Have a limo pick the kid up and driven to the airport. Make it something really cool! Watch out that she doesn't petition to extend support for college enrollment.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 12:20 PM
1

Even if in a no fault state. Proof of the affair can be used as a negotiation tool for asset and custody settlements. Also it can be useful if false DV charges are used as a way to move the husband out of the marital home. After the final decree, cohabitation with the AP can violate the custody agreement and impact alimony. Many men get run through the wringer, because they find out too late that divorce is warfare that you can't ease into, or walk away from. All that does is guarantee your dest…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 12:11 PM
3

Those "Are" indications of cheating son!
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 11:52 AM
2

Don't forget to petition for a guardian ad litem. It may be an easier way to get information into the court record.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 10:44 AM
5

She had checked out of the marriage long before she ever said anything to you about divorce. Stop focusing on her fake fairytale Facebook life. Focus on creating the future you want and deserve. Guess what? It doesn't include the person that lied, tried to ruin your life and take your kids from you. Why would you want that shit back in your life. Get into the gym and get into individual therapy ASAP. You've got this!
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 01:04 AM
2

Tax fraud, and possibly mail and wire fraud. Where's there's smoke, there's fire. Hire a pitbull lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/22 10:16 AM
2

Are your kids no contact with you? Just ask them. Also consult attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/22 12:10 PM
33

You aren't paying attention! The road to hell on earth is littered with the bodies of men who didn't do their due diligence because they thought they were on good terms, and she had agreed to an amicable divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/22 03:03 PM
2

So many male bodies buried along the high road! General Swartzkopf once said that "sometimes it's appropriate to kill a mosquito with a sledgehammer!" Son you can't ease your way into a conflict where your enemy wants to destroy you.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 02:38 PM
7

This is Clueless Alien Syndrome. Have the marriage annulled, and have the finances restored to premarriage. Do this now as most states have time limits to seek this remedy.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 02:15 PM
2

Have the marriage annulled if you can. Time is of the essence!
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 01:41 PM
4

Same situation for me. There is no shame in enduring a broken marriage in order to successfully raise and support your children. I know from personal experience that the reticence to tell them, and the shame, are sunken cost fallacies that keep many people trapped in similar situations. These are familiar, social, and religious constructs that we allow to function as locks on a jail cell of fear and embarrassment. Guess what? There is no lock on the door at all, you just need to be strong enough…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/22 12:06 PM
2

It's done all the time. In custody and alimony agreements. See an attorney stat.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/22 11:43 AM
5

Get off of Reddit and hire a lawyer and file! Don't agree to anything at this point. Get it done now!
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/22 01:10 AM
2

Why haven't you stipulated no SO's in the custody agreement?
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/22 01:00 AM
1

Same to you. I don't have to deal with clueless alien syndrome yet. But I will when I file first.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/22 11:21 PM
2

I took a peek, and remembered your posts. I too will be coming to the end of a long term marriage soon. She's hoping to just run me out until the end. I'm in the waiting period. I've got some huge health and work decisions coming up in the next 12 months, then I can execute the last steps on my exit plan. I'll play dead until I nuke her life, drive away and not look back. I hope you will post an update when it is advisable. https://youtu.be/AjGXn249Fc0
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/22 05:23 PM
2

Have you read many of the stories on this sub? Do you have any idea how many men are divorce raped every year? It doesn't matter if you are in an at fault state or not. The evidence could be used as a negotiation tool. Spend the money before the divorce is filed. That way the debt is marital debt. Someone needs to sit you down and explain that you are about to be dragged behind the black horse whose rider is called divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/22 11:07 PM
2

Hire a pi, as snooping yourself will probably not turn out well.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/22 04:42 PM
2

Sounds like the transition from the Clueless Alien Syndrome to the Walkaway Wife Syndome. She has already secured your replacement, so with this part of her plan complete, she needs you to finance her "new life". I'd hire an attorney and secure your financial situation. Filing first can offer some advantages. Don't play the pick me dance any longer. Your marriage has been over for a long time, you just didn't want to believe it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/22 11:57 AM
2

Dial 211 and get the local numbers for legal aid. You should be willing to sell a kidney, at this point to pay a lawyer to stop your wife from getting away with her crap.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/22 08:44 PM
1

No you made the right decision. Just make sure you get your name off of it as soon as possible. Try to negotiate her taking the car payments, and insurance ownership now. If your honda has to go in for repairs before the car issue is settled then those costs will be split between you. I'm sure she doesn't want to do that. Between the batteries going tits up, and other issues mentioned in the news, I'd want to be as far away from it as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/22 02:30 PM
2

Why hasn't your attorney petitioned the court for a guardian ad litem. That's the first thing that you should have done. I imagine that the leo and victim services would have been less gender biased if you had proper representation. Also ask your attorney how to legally document her actions and add them to the record.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/22 02:16 PM
2

The next thing she springs on you will be a false DV charge, which will effectively lock you out of your own house. From that point on you will be playing from a short deck. You need to hire a good attorney and file for divorce as quickly as possible. Secure your finances by securing the funds in joint accounts. My cousin opened up a separate bank account and had his paycheck deposited there. He had summaries printed for all of the accounts and withdrew half of liquid assets and put them in an e…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/22 04:14 AM
1

I thought she was meeting a man online and having sex with him in a hotel? Why would you try to be so amicable with a liar, cheater who put your entire family's lives at risk by trading body fluids with randoms during a global pandemic, and then be surprised by a TRO? Have you considered that the coaching may be coming from other sources besides mom? Why do you think that's a good environment for your kids to be in 50% of the time?
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 01:45 PM
1

OP please listen to the advice given and decide your next steps. Use me as a cautionary tale. If you want to use counseling as a diversion to give yourself time while moving forward with filing, do so. I didn't do that. Instead, I ignored the advice to file and tried counseling as a last resort. I was stupid enough to think that it could actually help our marriage. Three years, many individual counseling sessions, dozens of marriage counseling appointments, thousands of dollars, and millions of …
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/22 06:42 PM
3

Yes, this scenario is playing itself out across all socio-economic levels in the U.S. Statistics record that women are initiating 80% of divorces, are being rewarded for their efforts creating a greater number of single parent homes, and it seems that almost no one wants to discuss the perfect storm of reasons why this phenomenon has made its way out of the marginalized populations into the suburbs. To suggest that pathology, institutional and judicial malfeasance, or social engineering are invo…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 12:29 PM
1

Pure manipulation, and a precursor to her future behavior. Contact your lawyer and ask for specific steps to prepare for her to accuse you of DV or even child abuse, to punish you for moving forward with the divorce. Document all conversations and begin a consistent journal of her actions. Also create a separate bank account and have your paycheck direct deposited there. Continue to pay bills out of the joint account. Close or freeze any joint lines of credit. Consider that the longer the marria…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 01:59 PM
1

Yup, it was all about her convincing herself that she's not the villian in the story of her life. Also that included telling family and everyone who would hold still long enough, that you are still friends. Why haven't you blocked her?
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 01:15 PM
1

Has anyone prepaid an attorney (retainer) prior to filing? Would that be considered marital debt?
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 12:17 PM
0

Attorneys have gatekeepers for their calendars, just like doctors and executives. You need to stress that your situation requires an immediate consultation and explain that you are anticipating false DV charges, and are willing to pay for a consultation. That will move you to the head of the line if they normally do initial consults for free. Be respectful but insistant that you see or speak with them immediately. Take a day off from work and get this done. Ask your family, friends and coworkers…
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/22 03:46 PM
1

Contact an attorney today. During your consultation, ask what steps would be best to head off the false domestic violence charges that she is planning to file on you to get you legally removed from your house. She sounds like she is building a body of evidence against you that will blame you for arguing, upsetting the kids, and leaving the home. She is probably being coached by others. Swing by your local law enforcement and have a discussion with their community liaison to share your concerns. …
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/22 12:34 PM
2

Do something special for yourself today. It doesn't have to be big, just something that you can associate the day with a positive. I'm not out yet, but I have already started to take the hurt emotions out of what used to be special days.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 05:46 PM
0

I wish they would have cancelled the new Thor movie. I had to take a shower after throwing up all over myself watching that train wreck in slow motion.
/r/MensRights04/08/22 04:42 PM
2

I think it's a great idea if you find a niche that is overlooked. Consider the upward trend in "Gray Divorce" or in helping men dealing with mentally ill STBX's. There's a lot of crap out there that rehashes what's been known for a long time. Do something cutting edge. There has been a consistent effort in my state to recind permanent alimony. Our governor refused to sign the bill, simply because he will be running for president in the next cycle. Maybe you can focus your blog on getting informa…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 02:16 PM
1

I say this with the upmost caring and support. You need help! You are destroying the possibility of your children having a chance at healthy adult relationships by being run over by your garbage pail of a wife. Man up and protect your kids by first getting a therapist, then an attorney. If you were my son, I'd slap the shit out of you, then hug, cry and support you in any way to get away from the boat anchor that is dragging your family into the depths.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 02:00 PM
1

Wow!!!! I sure wish that you would have sharpened that knife before you flayed my life open like that. Where the hell were you 15 years ago when I needed to hear this.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 09:12 AM
1

Follow your attorney's instructions to the letter. Also ask him how to protect yourself from false DV charges, after she gets served. For sure the famous"Sonny Corleone" anger will come out.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/22 09:43 PM
2

Let's just say you convince youself to stay for the benefit of seeing your kid. First of all this is just mental gymnastics, because by taking control of this situation will improve the chances of you being able to maximize a custody situation. Doing nothing will allow your NWYW (Never Was Your Wife) to secure her relationship with " her one true love" while you continue to finance, add stability and built in babysitting as she persues the real relationship that she desires. The longer you wait,…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/22 12:10 PM
28

Walk Away Wife Syndrome. Look it up, and find an attorney stat! You really need to file first while she's in the "fog".
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/22 12:23 PM
2

Look up clueless alien syndrome. Thats what you are dealing with.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/22 07:01 PM
1

Is your wife employed? Here in Florida there has been a precedent regarding life long alimony for marriage over 10 years, with a stay at home spouse. There is legislation sitting on the governor's desk to rescind that legislation, but I don't think he's signed it yet. He probably feels like he's pissed enough women off lately, and will sign it before he leaves office to run for president.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 08:48 PM
3

"Never Interrupt Your Enemy When He Is Making A Mistake" ---------- Napoleon
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/22 09:32 PM
1

Sunken cost fallacies are the things that people use to justfy remaining in difficult, manipulative, harmful, or abusive situations. It is allowing an accounting of the time and effort previously spent in a situation to outweigh the clear and obvious reasons to end a situation or relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/22 01:16 AM
1

If there was a police report written, get a copy of it to an attorney. It can still be used to get a RO if needed later.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/22 01:04 AM
2

OP, what did you find out about retirement and spousal support? I'm 59 married 35 years, and not wealthy like yourself. I'll probably be eating dog food trying to live on half my pension. I'm also looking at living abroad to increase my standard of living should I decide to pull the trigger.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 07:18 PM
2

Look up clueless alien syndrome. It will help you understand the malevolent entity who's sole purpose is to inflict as much pain and destruction upon you as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 06:56 PM
1

Oooof! Sounds like sunken cost fallacies at work. Don't get me wrong, I'm talking to you and Me!
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 06:22 PM
1

How long ago was the dv?
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 06:05 PM
1

Consider a "girl friend experience"
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 06:45 PM
2

You need to protect yourself from false DV claims. Florida is not a single party state so recording someone without their knowledge in some instances is against the law. Consult with an attorney immediately. I am not an attorney, but had an acquaintance get false charges, and an attempt to get him Baker Acted filed so that his STBX could get a restraining order to get him out of the house.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/22 05:03 PM
1

Yeesss!!
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/21 08:27 PM
1

You should talk to a female shark attorney. Several in fact. Currently she is the breadwinner. Why do you assume you are going to be divorce raped, without actually getting some legal advice? Hell if you plan and execute properly, including having evidence of her verbally abusing, and threatening you, it is possible that you can file, keep the residence and have her pay you child support and alimony. You'll have to get the right professional assistance to pull it off.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/20 03:33 PM
1

What marriage? You don't have a marriage. You have a legal relationship with an abusing manipulative, cheating narcissist. Your relationship needs to be mercifully put down, like a rabid wolf. If you don't, it will continue to spread disease and mayhem until you do.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/20 03:18 PM
2

Reformed Anglican. Doctrines of Grace Complimentarian African American (It's so cold and alone out here!)
/r/RPChristians08/07/20 11:39 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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